01x06 - Lost in Time

[bunniefuu]

♪ If you're lookin' for me ♪

♪ You'd better check
Under the sea ♪

♪ 'Cause that is
Where you'll find me ♪

♪ Underneath the sealab ♪

♪ Underneath the water ♪

♪ Sealab
At the bottom of the sea ♪♪

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
PLAYING]

[ELECTRICAL SPARKING]

I got a bad feeling about this.

You're doing good.

Just relax.

Almost...

got it.

Easy. Easy.

Don't cross the wires!

Would you shut up?

Sorry.

Be the wire.

Stupid-a*s rackem-frackem...

[GRUMBLING]

Don't talk.
You're a wire.

[WHISPERING]
Shh. Wires don't talk.

CAPTAIN: Hey!

The time is 2:59.

We've only got one minute.

For God's sake,

lives are hanging
in the balance.

Whew!

Okay, captain.

You're all patched in.

Sweet.


just in time for Chopper Dave.

Um... you know,
captain,

cable piracy is a crime.

Bup, bup, bup, bup!

Chopper Dave's on.

COMPUTER VOICE:
Attention, intruder.

You have breached
CableCom security.

I don't remember this episode.

Prepare for punishment.

Looks cool.

In five...

We must evacuate!
Shh!

Three, two...
Three, two...

One.
This show rocks.

QUINN: What the...?

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

Stormy, get ahold of yourself.

[QUIETING DOWN]

Sealab was totally vaporized.

Does vaporized mean

nothing happened to it?

QUINN:
What in the hell?

And who the heck are those guys?

That's us.

We did that 15 minutes ago.

Dude, check me out.

I'm like a little otter.
A sexy little otter.

Damn.

That shockwave created
a sub-space fracture.

Take that, sub-space!

Shut up.

No.

The damage to sub-space

has caused
a temporal distortion.

We've gone back in time.

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

Quick. What's your watch say?

It is exactly 3:00.

Damn.

I thought we'd been blown


Well, I always set my watch



So it's really 2:45.

Why do you do that?

So I'm always 15 minutes early.

But if you know
it's 15 minutes fast,

what's the point?

This is a Douché.

Never mind.

If they hook up the cable,
Sealab will explode again,

and sub-space is gonna...

My God.

CAPTAIN:
No. No, no, no, no, no.

This is Chopper Dave's
made-for-TV movie,

Blades of Vengeance.

See, he's a
chopper pilot by day,

but by night, he fights crime.

[WOLF HOWLING]

As a werewolf.

Uh, uh...

Yeah.

Stop! Stop! Call them back.

Hey.

I thought I sent
you two pogues out

to get me free cable.

You did.
What are you do...?

We're still out there,

and you've got to call us back.

Almost...
Hmm?

Got it.

Easy. Easy.

Don't cross the wires.

Would you shut up?

Sorry.
Be the wire.

Stupid-a*s rackem-frackem...

[GRUMBLING]

Don't talk.
You're a wire.

Yes, I knew this day would come.

So you're finally here, huh?

Yes, from the future.

What happened was...

Nice try, doppelganger.

What?

We're not doppelgangers.

Save it for Queen Doppelpopolis.

Wait!

If they hook up the cable,
we're all gonna die.

Sweet dreams, doppelgangers.

[THWAP]

[SCREAMING]

I can't believe
we're locked in here

while we're out there,

about to k*ll us in here.

And who the hell
is Queen Doppelopolis?

Shut up.
No.

Sealab explodes
at exactly 3:00.

What time is it now?

Doppelpopolis,
you think that's Greek?

What time is it?

Greek chicks are so hot.

I said, what time is it?

Dude, on my semester abroad,

me and this guy Kent
I played lacrosse with,

we went to Crete one time.

Shut up.

I was a winger.

Anyway, we're on Crete...

Shut up, Stormy.

And there's this little cafe...

Did I tell you this?

No.

Anyway,

the owner's daughter... Oh, man.

She had these perfect...

QUINN: What the...?

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

Stormy, get ahold of yourself.

[QUIETING DOWN]

Sealab was totally vaporized.

Does vaporized mean

nothing happened to it?

What in the hell?

And who the heck are those guys?

That's us.

We did that 15 minutes ago.

Dude, check me out.

I'm like a little beaver.
A hot little beaver.

Save it for Queen Doppelpopolis.

Wait!

If they hook up the cable,
we're all gonna die.

Sweet dreams, doppelgangers.

[THWAP]

[SCREAMING]

And that means

there's a third set out there...

About to hook up the cable...

And fracture sub-space again.

My...
My...

God.
God.

Can you feel it when I do this?

[BREAKS WIND]

No. Can you feel it
when I do this?

[BREAKS WIND]

No. Can you feel it
when I do this?

No.

Can you feel it when I do this?

No.

Can you feel it when I do this?

No. Can you feel it
when I do this?

No.

Hey, idiots.
What time is it?

Exactly 3:14...

And change.

Wait.

The expl*si*n happens at 3.

Yeah, see, they set
their watches



Save it for Queen Doppelpopolis.

Wait.

If they hook up the cable,
we're all gonna die.

Sweet dreams, doppelgangers.

[THWAP]

[SCREAMING]

We've gone back in time.

Yes, already.

Don't get all in my face.

Oh, you got a problem, doctor?

STORMY: Hey, Quinns,
come on!

Stormy Three
snuck in a dodgeball.

Shut up.
No.

What time is it?

Dodgeball time!

Damn it, Stormy.
What time is it?

I said
it was dodgeball time, b*tch.

Stormy, I am gonna
count to three.

Better make that one.

So there's a fifth set
out there?

Yes, already.

It's all in your
orientation pamphlet.

STORMY: Hey, Quinns,
check it out.

We built a time machine.

Stormy Two's gonna

go back in time and, uh...

fix it all up, there.

You don't have
the brain capacity

to build a time machine.

You're right.

[ENGINE STARTING]

So I guess it's not so much
a time machine...

as it is a dodgeball cannon.

Say hello to my little friend.

Eat it. Eat it.

Ow.
Get some!

Oh.
My eye!

It's beautiful, man.
What did you do to my eye?

Beautiful!

STORMY:
Wow, a dodgeball cannon!

Let's fire it up.

Nah, that thing's boring.

We're into this string now.

I got next.

Dude, I got next.

Okay, that string we gave them

should buy us some time.

But we need a plan.

Wait.

I'll just hang myself
upside down

to increase the blood flow to...

Yeah, to your brain.

Quinn One's been doing that
for two hours.

Not working.

Somebody please cut me down.

Please?

Well, somebody better
think of something.

The sub-space damage

is increasing exponentially.

And the more this happens,

the more chance there is

for chrono-distortion.

I mean, look at Stormy
and Quinn Number 12.

We're the nines.

They're the 12s.

[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
No, we're the 11s.

[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
The twelves are over there.

[LAUGHING
LIKE JABBA THE HUTT]

Ultay macko neeta, Stormy.

[GIGGLING LIKE
SALACIOUS CRUMB]

Dodgeball time. Dodgeball time.

[HIGH-PITCHED GIGGLE]

[SALACIOUS STORMY SCREAMING]

[BELCHES]

For the love of God,

would somebody please help me?

Please?

Hey, Stormys, get over here,

and bring your piñata bats.
Over.

On the way over.
Over.

Your watch has a two-way radio?

Gasp.
A talking piñata!

Yeah. Yeah.

Can I, uh...

Can I see that for a second?

Anything for you,

magical fat-faced
talking piñata.

QUINN: Stupid-a*s
rackem-frackem...

[GRUMBLING]

Don't talk.
You're a wire.

[WHISPERING]
Shh. Wires don't talk.

Mayday. Mayday!

Quinn, it's me, Quinn.

What in the...?

Listen to me.

If you hook up the cable,
sub-space will shatter,

resulting
in massive chrono-distortion.

Ow!

STORMY: Hey, there's
candy in there somewhere.

Stop that. Help!

OTHER STORMY: Keep hitting him.
My eye!

I'm gonna bust
his little candy belly.

Why do you keep hitting my eye?

What's that all about?

I don't know,

but quit being a b*tch
and come on.

So Quinn called us
on the two-way radio,

and we got back here
as fast as we could.

Mi madre.

I can't believe it.

It's a Douché.
It can do anything.

And we're sure

you're not doppelgangers?

Yes.

But think of the possibilities

of multiple Quinns.

With our combined brainpower,

we could cure diseases,

end world hunger,

why, we could even
terraform Mars

and do it right this time, huh?

Yeah!

Nope.

I've got a better idea.

Attention, attention.

All Stormys and Quinns.

Please report to the gymnasium.

[CHEERING]

[♪♪♪]