06x00 - Festive Special

[bunniefuu]

Siobhan, Siobhan...

Siobhan, there's more than three
bottle kilns.

It doesn't matter, it doesn't work
for the song.

Welcome to the Festive Pottery
Throw Down.

Too late, Rose.

You left it too late.

You ruined it.

This time we get all festive.

As four celebrity potters...

I am so winging it.

..attempt to hand build...

..a Christmas scene.

It's Christmas, it's not a time for
competition.

And a WHEEL-y tricky second
challenge...

Aargh!

..brings out The Grinch in Keith.

Ah, no!

Who will be on Santa's naughty list?

That is a disaster.

And who will be a shining star?

Talk about Christmas miracle.

It's fantastic.

It's our first ever Festive Pottery
Throw Down

and getting competitive in clay

is stalwart of the British acting
scene -

James Fleet.

James is clocking on, that means
he's gonna get paid.

James, it does say, "Please do not
touch,"

I'm just putting it out there.

I've done a little bit of potting

at evening classes at my local
school.

So, I've made about 20 terrible
lop-sided bowls.

So, I'm not unprepared.

It's just like it is on the telly.

Isn't it marvellous?

Comedienne and broadcaster, Jenny
Eclair...

About three years ago I thought,

"Ha, I'll go Saturday morning
pottery classes,"

and I realised then how difficult it
was.

Ah!

You can put all your faith in it

and it goes in the kiln and...

It could just be rubble on a plate.

That's not what they want.

Actress and soap star, Sunetra
Sarker...

I don't know what I'm doing here.

I'm definitely not a potter.

Oh, look how professional I look.

Back in Casualty the trick was

grab a scalpel like you knew what
you were gonna do with it

and then you'd pretend.

Welcome to my pottery shop.

So, I might do a bit of that.

I'll grab whatever the pottery tools
are, like I know what I'm doing.

Uh, oh. I have nothing to set up.

I haven't brought anything.

And TV personality and presenter,
Jamie Laing.

My stepmother, it's her favourite
show

and she doesn't know I'm doing it.

So, I want to catch one of Keith's
tears in my pot

and then give it to her as a
present.

How exciting!

Hello, potters. h*, h*, h*.

Hello, celebrity Christmas potters.

Look at you, what have you signed up
for?

For your main make challenge,

our gorgeous judges would like you
to make a Christmas scene.

Something that would look absolutely
beautiful on your mantelpiece.

Now, this Christmas scene should
consist of five pieces -

three buildings and two sculpted
pieces.

Judges they look terrified, do you
have any advice?

Well, this is a hand-building
challenge,

but there are lots of different
methods of hand building.

So, make sure you pick the most
appropriate technique

for your design and your
construction plans.

The three buildings that you're
making,

they need to have open bottoms,

so we can put a tea light in them
when we come to judge them.

Really think about how those doors
and windows play with the light

for that warm Christmassy glow.

You have six hours to make and
refine

your Christmas scene.

And your time starts...

..now!

Take the clay out of the bag.

That's what I'm doing, that's the
first start, guys. Look at that.

Each potter has been provided with
12 and a half kilograms of Es5 clay.

Oh, my God, clay is so heavy.

I know, it's like a corpse, isn't
it?

And in the spirit of good will,

they have all received a few hours
of basic pottery training.

He's already rolling, I haven't even
opened my bag.

But to bring their Christmas scenes
to life,

they'll need to handle the clay
with both confidence...

I think that goes like that.

..and creativity.

OK, calm down.

I have a feeling I'm gonna win.

It's Christmas, it's not a time for
competition.

Watch me win, guys.

So, Rich, it's the most wonderful
time of the year.

It is, Keith, it's our first Festive
Pottery Throw Down.

What a joyous occasion.

And we've got four wonderful
celebrity potters.

Some of them have done pottery
before,

some of them really haven't.

So, it's gonna be really
interesting.

We've asked for five elements.

Three have to be buildings

and two sculptural elements.

So, there's a lot to do.

They've got to think about the
planning stages

and the time management.

And hand building is sometimes
considered

an easier, kind of, in to ceramics
than something like throwing,

but actually it's still a tricky
process.

If they just think of the clay like
Plasticine,

and start sticking bits to bits, it
ain't gonna work.

Definitely, there's rules to follow,

much like building a proper house.

You need to consider a form that's
structurally sound.

It's no good having, kind of, wild
additions that could warp or crack

and it's gonna be fascinating to see

how they allow the light to be
omitted.

If they don't put enough holes
you're not gonna see the light,

but, equally, any cutout could
undermine the structure.

Yeah. So, it's gonna be a really
fine balance.

I want to see a subtle, warm glow
that I would love to walk towards,

after a long Christmas walk.

And there'd be a nice whisky by the
side of a fire waiting for me.

Ah, I can see it now, Keith.

Happy Christmas, Rich.

Aw, Happy Christmas to you.

Hello, lovey. Hi, Sunetra, how're
you doing?

Can we swap places?

I'd much rather... You don't want me
there. I do.

I much prefer being where you are.

Tell us about your design.

OK, so, because my mum and dad came
over from India to the UK,

just before I was born, as a child I
got to teach them

what I wanted Christmas to be.

Oh. So, I would go to a mate and I'd
go, "Toys? Trees? I'll tell my mum,"

and I'd go, "Mum, apparently we have
to have toys on Christmas Day."

So, the Christmas tree house is
coming into my scape today. Right.

Another thing the friend said,

"You've gotta go the garden centre,
to the grotto,

where you meet Father Christmas and
you have to get a present."

So, I've got my grotto

and then my Auntie Doris, who's
Swiss,

she taught us that Swiss traditional
Christmases

was just biscuits and sweets.

So, my Auntie Doris, she gets a
whole house to herself -

the sweet house.

I'd like to come round to your
house. Yeah.

Yeah, sounds incredible. Auntie
Doris's house - brilliant.

Hoping for some beginner's luck,

Sunetra will tie her scape together
with a puzzle-piece path,

a stack of presents

and a snow angel,

in homage to her favourite childhood
character.

This is my little friend, who I
used to watch on telly.

He was the only other brown person I
ever saw on television... Yes, sure.

..and it was Morph.

Yeah, of course. Wow. My Plasticine
friend.

And, so, I really loved him and so
I'm gonna bring him into my scape.

I'd really like you to feel like

the five-year-old Sunetra made what
we're gonna present today.

Well, you've been very articulate
in explaining all that,

you've just gotta be articulate,
now, in making it.

Stay focussed and you'll be great.

Thank you. See you later. See you
later guys.

While Sunetra relives her childhood
festive fantasies...

Hello, Jenny. Here they come.

..Jenny is keeping things real.

Tell us about your overall design.
What are you going for?

What it is, it's a narrative. I've
got a narrative of a young couple,

and they're going to stay with his
mother

in her overheated bungalow, for
Christmas. Right.

And it's all going to be very tense.

OK. Brilliant.

She's meant to put all the presents
in the car,

but she's pregnant, she's forgotten.

So, they have to buy last minute
presents.

Hence the petrol station. Hence the
petrol station,

which all great nativity scenes
feature.

To make the mother-in-law's even
more excruciating,

it will be next door to an enticing
pub,

with a car and snowman completing
the scene.

And to plan her buildings,

she's enlisted the help of a little
elf.

These are my templates.

I've got a partner who has done a
few design jobs.

So, I drew it all out for him

and then I left him with some
cardboard and frog tape.

These are beautiful. Aren't they
just? They're really beautiful.

Maybe he'll get some work out of
this.

Miniature petrol stations are a
speciality,

but I think he's gone too
complicated.

I know that I'm against time,
that's my problem.

Well...

Yes, you are. Yeah, I am. Yes, yeah
you are, actually.

Jenny isn't the only potter
attempting to slab build

using templates brought from home.

I'm gonna cut the buildings out and
then let the bits dry

and then stick them together like a
flat pack.

But for their festive builds to
work...

I just have to make sure

that I don't make any school-girl
errors.

..accuracy will be key.

Precision doesn't come naturally
to me.

I've got a partner who says,
"Measure twice, cut once."

Do I listen to that sort of thing?

No, cos I get bored halfway through.

And for James's design,

getting the pieces right is
literally a case of sink or swim.

I'm disobeying the rules straight
away.

I've only got two buildings

but I, I've got a boat.

It's Christmas on the canal.

The people on the boats are going,
"Merry Christmas," to each other.

"Come over to our boat and have a
drink."

James will sculpt a bridge for his
boat to sail under,

as well as an array of canal folk,
including Father Christmas.

Hoping to recreate the vision in his
head.

These are my three buildings. Wow.
OK.

Ah, James, that's gorgeous.

What made you think about choosing a
scene like that?

I live quite near a canal. Oh, OK,
OK.

There's something rather sweet about
the community

that lives on the canal.

Yes, yeah. Yeah. And I've always
been drawn to canals.

Well, it's slow life, isn't it?
Yeah, slow life.

It's a slower pace of life.

Are you feeling confident about
this? Yeah, if I could...

Yeah, it'll all come together.

You seem very organised, you've got
lots of different components.

There's no substitute for
preparation, is there? No.

Preparation is good.

Especially in pottery.

But when it comes to forward
planning...

How the hell do you make an igloo?

..it looks like not all the
celebrity potters got the memo.

I don't know what this is. Is this
called curling or...

Curli... curling?

Curling or something.

Leaving Jamie's coiled igloo

on thin ice.

Oh, lordy.

I am so winging it.

Hi, Jamie. Hello, Jamie. Hi, guys.

If you had to guess what this is,
what do you think it is?

Uh... sheep pen? No.

It's an igloo. OK.

And I'm just now making the roof for
it, which is complicated.

Now, an igloo has a domed roof,
doesn't it? Yeah. Yep.

So, have you got, like, a former

to place the clay over, to shape the
clay?

If I'm being totally honest, I came
today with nothing.

Right.

The idea is to make three houses -

a gingerbread house,

an igloo... Right.

..and then the third house is an
advent calendar house. OK. Yeah.

Despite his lack of plans,

Jamie is being ambitious with his
24-window advent calendar house

and a winged roof for his
gingerbread house.

But he's hoping a colourful palette

and the magic of Christmas will save
him.

The thing is I did pottery at a high
level when I was eight.

So, I thought I'd remember.

It turns out when you're put under
pressure,

it's not as easy as you thought.
Perhaps if we all hold hands,

your energy, as potters, will
connect to me.

Well, we could give that a go.

Should we try it? OK. Give it a go.
We could try, we could try.

Just everyone...

Thank you very much, OK, I feel good
now. OK. Good.

Potters...

..the drying room is open.

Before construction can begin, it is
essential the slabs harden.

That's your shelf there.

And the drying room will help the
pieces

get to that sturdier, leather-hard
stage.

In the drying room, so far, I've got
the bungalow.

I'm going next for the petrol
station.

OK, we're doing it. I've done my
igloo.

But, despite his igloo taking shape,

using a plant pot borrowed from a
shelf in the pottery...

We're all over it.

..it's back to the drawing board for
Jamie's gingerbread house.

Gonna make my stencils.

How big am I gonna make it?

How wide would you make a house?

Think about your house in Notting
Hill.

Jenny, stop distracting me, I'm
trying to potter over here.

Gonna put this in the drying room.

Right, this is my roof.

I've got my hearts here.

You wouldn't think this was hard,

but it really is.

Oh, no, this one's actually come
out..

Who knows, maybe this will be like a
new pottery design?

Half in, half out stencil.

I'm now cutting out the template of
the pub.

The pregnant woman just looks
forward

to the time when she's not pregnant

and she can just go to the pub.

This should be the fanciest building

but I'm kind of running out of steam
on it.

Hi, Jenny. Hello, have you come to
help?

I'm exhausted.

This is what people don't realise.
They have no idea.

It's really hard work. They've not
got a clue.

They'd go, "Well, I wouldn't do it
like that," and "I'd do this,"...

"I could do that." No, you couldn't.

No idea. And you, especially, could
not.

With last orders looming on her pub
design...

"Pub groove, poss chimney."

Hmm, who knows.

Jenny is still battling with tricky
templates,

but James has already moved on to
one of his sculpted elements.

This is my bridge.

This is the hardest bit cos it's got
a curve in it.

It'll be held together by the power
of art,

rather than engineering expertise.

To create the curve the clay needs
to harden around a former...

Right, this is the hardest.

..a technique Sunetra is also
banking on for her Christmas tree.

OK, good.

And with templates proving time
consuming...

God, I've got so much to do.

..for his third building, Jamie has
been inspired.

Bit of a change of plan,

I'm gonna make a round
advent calendar house.

I need something round.

Can I steal your candle?

If you bring it back. I'll bring it
straight back. Yeah, sure.

With my advent calendar I was going
to make it square, like a house,

and then I made it round.

I think on my feet and I mix them up
and change them and that's what
happens.

But a borrowed former...

Thank you so much.

..cannot offer much support.

Is there something inside there now?

There's nothing inside there. OK.

I'd worry, darling, that it's going
to start collapsing.

What did you mould it against?

A candle.

And where's that gone?

It's over there.

Yeah, you should've left that in
there.

It wasn't my candle. Right.

You've messed up.

But, just stuff it with paper, I'll
lift it up, OK? OK.

There you go, stuff it with paper.

Oh!

That's enough paper, isn't it?

Yeah.

Is that gonna stay?

D'ya know what? If you're taking
advice from me,

the end is nigh, isn't it?

Happy Christmas, Rose.

Halfway through.

Halfway through, halfway through?

Halfway through what? I don't know.

Potters - halfway through.

What?

Oh, it means something to them.

Halfway through, potters.

Right, got my grotto.

It's going really well. Got it.

As the potters' final pieces are
ready to start drying...

That's your pub.

..their first set of slabs are now
firm enough for construction.

First of all we're gonna cut some
windows.

Because each build will be
illuminated...

Gotta do portholes

where the light can come through.

..Keith and Rich will want to see
how they used light

to enrich their designs.

Window, window, window.

It's gonna have a heart-shaped door.

But care must be taken,

as seeing the tea light through
windows or doors...

This is the seed merchant's front
door.

..could mean the designs lose their
Christmas sparkle.

I wanna impress Keith and Richard
for my Deeta.

OK, OK, OK, I'm happy with that, I'm
happy with that.

OK, advent calendar house.

24 windows.

Otherwise it's not an advent
calendar house, is it, Jamie?

It's just a house.

Oh, no!

No!

No!

Oh, my God, no!

Oh, my God.

That is a disaster.

With the first firing fast
approaching...

Everything all right in here? No,
it's not all right.

That just fell off.

..Jamie's advent calendar has taken
a tumble.

It looks like a... A pie. ..a pie.

A pie house. A festive pie house.

I'm changing it. It's gonna be a
mince pie house.

Not having a plan means you can just
pivot whenever you want.

Can't really pivot on a petrol
station, can you?

Potters - these are my mince pies.

Mine!

Four hours gone.

Two to go.

Right, let's do some building.

Don't do that again.

To create sturdy structures...

Please, please fit.

..each scene must now be joined with
the utmost care and precision.

Just wanna get it stuck together,
really stuck.

Adding texture to both sides of the
join

will bond the pieces together...

Jenny, what's it called? Thatching?

Cross-hatching.

..and help prevent any cracks when
fired.

Cos then what you do is you put the
slip into it

and you put them together and they
stick.

Score and slip. Score and slip,
baby, always.

Come on.

Bit wonky.

It's too hard, it's too hard.

Oh, no! Ah!

I'll hold this, you grab that.

God, I can't do this. No, no, it's
grand, it's fine.

See? Done.

Oh, the stress of this.

Feel like I'm in a Tennessee
Williams' play.

Yeah, you know what? So do I. Oh.

And with roofs to add...

Oh, no. That's quite big.

Things are only gonna get harder.

Have to cut a bit off that.

In my house there's lots and lots of
botched repairs.

Oh, God. It's not working.

And both Jenny's flat-roofed petrol
station...

Come on. Stick, stick, stick.

..and Jamie's winged-roof
gingerbread house...

That is just massive.

..are causing concern.

If this survives firing

I will be very, very shocked.

The roof is so heavy, I've used
these clay pots...

Yes. ..here to hold it there for the
moment.

One word on that I would say -

make some little clay props,

cos this is gonna shrink quite
dramatically

and the clay pots are already fired.

OK, so I just make a clay support?

Yeah, just a little cylinder, cos
it'll shrink at the same rate.

Potters -

you have one hour left.

Oh, God. I'm gonna have to speed up.

I've gotta do the pub, which is the
thing I'm, sort of, putting off.

OK, so now I have to take this cone
out.

I think it's worked.

Relief. Relief. Just pure relief.

I had a great time.

I've driven a barge.

It's quite challenging in a high
wind.

Oh, my God.

This looks so bad.

That's a fantastic idea.

Oh, I've made a Christmas pudding,
have I?

Everything's edible. Everything's
edible.

Oh, my God, everything's edible.

Potters. My lovely Christmas
potters, that's half an hour left.

Just gonna do some texture on this,

because the paint catches in the
cracks.

This is glitter on my star.

I have built a shoddy pub,

so, I've gone into over-decorating
mode.

People in this town go, "Let's go to
the ugly pub,

"the ugly pub's where we have the
most fun."

I've gotta push in some stone
shapes.

How will you do that? Well, I'll
wait till you've gone

and I'll push this thing in it,
probably.

Why don't you want to do it while
I'm here?

Is it something you wouldn't like
to do in front of me?

I don't want you to see it.

I don't want you to judge me. I'm
the nice one.

It's those other two you have to
worry about.

And those judges won't be happy

without two sculptures to complete
their scenes.

My sculpted thing is partly the
bridge and the people.

I've gotta do a snowman and a
penguin.

Just need my little friend.

I've got a car and a snowman,

but I can feel my energy starting to
drift.

So, this is somebody on the towpath,
but he's gotta be refined.

Potters, you've ten minutes left.

Ten minutes left.

I've, kind of, lost it now.

It is what it is,

as they say on Love Island.

My stepmum's favourite show is this
show

and so this is meant to be her
Christmas present.

Sorry!

This is Father Christmas, you
must've heard of him.

Let's do his beard.

Share this moment together.

So, I've made my sculpture of the
present box.

I'm gonna try and get a bit more
ribbon on here.

There's some sort of Secret Santa
with the men in the canal workshop.

Five minutes. Five minutes.

The roof is the gingerbread man.

How is that gonna stay?

There's a bit of a pig's ear in the
front of the boat.

So, what I'm going to do is stick a
Christmas tree on it.

My jigsaw pieces are all in place,

I'm gonna make my paths out of them.

Oh, my God, is that gonna stay?

One minute left.

And remember, potters, that all your
pieces need to be in the drying room

at the end of this session.

Going in. OK.

It's got a Willy Wonka kind of vibe,
it's gorgeous.

Oh, no, the gingerbread man didn't
fit.

Petrol pump's big.

Reflective of the price.

Well done, James. Wow.

It's gonna work.

Five, four,

three, two,

one...

Well done. Yeah.

Well done.

My goodness.

Well, well done.

You now can have a well earned rest.

Potters dismissed. Thank you. Thank
you. Oh, God.

I have a pecking order of tiredness.

At the top of the league is panto
tired.

That means you've done three shows
in a day.

That was more tiring than panto
tired.

I'm so overwhelmed by what I've
managed to get done.

I think I am really proud of myself.

I just want it to get through the
kiln.

I just don't wanna be on the next
shelf to Jamie's stuff.

I'll say no more.

I'll say no more.

I'm gonna put it out there, people
are probably not gonna back me,

but I think I'm still gonna win

It's pottery throw down.

Nothing's been thrown down yet

and that's when I come to play.

As their Christmas scenes head for
their first firing...

Oh. Uh oh.

..the celebrity potters face a
second challenge...

OK. Don't like the look of that.

..which is a complete mystery.

Woo hoo.

Welcome back, potters.

Your second challenge is a throw
down, of course.

It wouldn't be complete without a
throw down.

The judges would like you to make

mulled wine tumblers.

I knew it, I knew it was gonna be
that.

And to show you how to do this,

we have our master potter here,
Keith.

Here we go - throwing.

Wow. Oh.

Slap it on the wheel, as near the
centre as possible.

Plenty of water on the clay.

Centring is really, really
important.

It's like the clutch control of
throwing.

So, I'm containing the clay between
my two hands.

One is controlling the width

and one is controlling the height.

And then get my middle finger

and I just literally place it on the
top

and just gently squeeze down and
then pull out,

all in one nice motion.

Look at that.

Now, this is where the speed of the
wheel is really, really important,

because I want to bring that clay
in.

So, if I slow the wheel down a bit,
I get my hands like a crab

and I just gently squeeze that clay

and as I squeeze the clay

I just change the direction... Look
at that. It's like magic. ..of the
clay.

I now go in with my knuckle,

I get a knot of clay between my
knuckle and my fingers.

That's unbelievable. And I just
gently squeeze the clay

and as you squeeze the clay you pull
up at the same time.

And wire it through once, bung a bit
of water on,

wire it through again and then you
can just gently lift it off.

And there we go. Fantastic.

You're like the clay whisperer.

OK, potters, back to your desks,
please.

I'm just leaving.

All righty then.

The judges have decided to give you
a very, very generous 25 minutes,

to make as many identical mulled
wine tumblers as you can.

Here we go.

Your time starts

now.

Make mama some tumblers.

I'm gonna make 25. Yeah, you are.

All right.

It's quite hard getting it in the
middle.

That's it. Get it centred.

I'm wobbling, I'm wobbling.

Slow the wheel down.

It's all about matching the
speed of your hands,

with the speed of the wheel.

You just wanna get a bit of height
on that, Jamie.

Bringing it up is really hard.

He said something about a crab.

Keep your hands together.

Breathe.

Ah!

OK, come on, we can get this back.

Nice one, James, looking good.

It's too thick.

I don't actually know what I'm
doing.

Come on, Sunetra, get it up.

I'm getting it up, look. RICH: Yeah,
bit of a wobble.

You're doing very well. Don't jinx
it.

I'm gonna get one off.

I know it's not quite right.

We're not going to get anything, are
we? Listen who has ever said,

"No, I won't have that mulled wine,
I don't like the tumbler." Yes, I'm
going to...

There we go, there we go. Lovely.

So, Jenny has one off, she's... Yes,
but it's a short-arse.

Nice, right, Jamie's got one off.

Mine are dumpy, like me.

Jenny has nearly two.

They're getting taller, Jenny. They
are, they are, don't you fret.

That's it, James, that's looking
really nice.

Not very tall, is it?

One, two. Jamie has two out.

Quit while you're ahead, Sunetra.

Brilliant, Sunetra has her first one
off.

Careful, careful.

Yes. Nice. Nice one. Well done.

Potters - you're halfway.

Shh, shh. And remember, make them
identical.

James is taking a very slow
considered approach.

I know, he is, it's interesting to
see.

I haven't looked around at anyone
else yet,

so I don't know what people are
doing.

On average we've got two.

Jenny, how many have you pulled off?

Uh, four very poor specimens.

Judges, in 25 minutes, how many
would you pull off?

At least 25.

No way. Wow. Yeah.

Don't look at this, it's awful.

Oh! Oh, just put it down anyway.

It helps if you don't look at it,
actually.

How's it look?

May I have some more clay, please?

Bloody hell. I think Jenny's
coming after your target.

Quality control, non-existent.

This is my best one. Don't talk to
me, this is my best one.

OK, they've only three minutes left.

Any advice I can give them?

Hurry up. Three minutes left.

You've got to hurry up. Oh, my God.
We've gotta go now.

Fantastic, you've got three
identical looking ones.

I have indeed, if you had a slight
vision problem.

Room for one more.

Come on, last push!

Oh, my God. SHOUTING: Come on!

I apologise for the noise,

it's awful, isn't it? It's really
quite rowdy.

Very rowdy.

I can do one more, come on this is
the one, guys.

Can I have another piece of clay,
please?

Hey? RICH: Wow, what are you
doing with it all, Jenny?

One minute left.

No, come on.

I can do it, I will do it.

OK.

Yeah, you're an inspiration, Jenny.

Sunetra, make it a good one. Nice
work. Stick your finger in it.

Pull it up.

Oh, you beggar. Let's just get that
off.

It's not coming off, guys.

Here we go.

Five, four,

three, two,

one. Boom!

Well done, potters.

I don't think I breathed the entire
thing. No.

Is the bucket of doom coming out?

The bucket of doom is definitely
coming out.

I think it might be heavy.

Do you need a hand carrying it? I
think I might need a hand, yeah.

Keith and Rich are looking for
identical mulled wine tumblers

and any that don't measure up,

will be recycled into the bucket of
doom.

Hey. Hi, Jamie. Oh. Hi.

How did you find that?

Keith, I found that really hard.

You found it really hard? Yep.

You getting emotional yet?

Well, look, Jamie I seriously...

You seemed really determined and
focussed,

it was really good to see.

I tried really hard.

Well, you've gone quite close to the
ground on that,

that's more like a napkin ring.

That'll be going... No, what
the... Oh!

It took me ages.

What's this? What is that?

It's actually hopeless. That is so
upsetting.

There's a nice shape on this one.

Yeah, what about the shape on this
one?

We'll maybe not talk about that.

That's my favourite one.

Is that not... It's just a little
asymmetrical.

Are you sure? Yes. Possibly. I just
don't think you're right.

I... But, look, you didn't give up.

So, I'm gonna keep those three. Well
done.

Can you drink out of them? Yes, you
can.

Are they identical?

No, they're not.

There's a good bit of symmetry on
some of them.

These rims are all level. You're
like the good cop.

This one's hopeless.

Oh!

This one's pretty bad. Oh, no!

Oh, gah! That was for my mother.

That's pretty dodgy.

Oh, I liked that one! No, it has a
sweet, sweet, sweet little shape.

And this one is absolutely hopeless.
Oh, no!

I didn't see that one coming.

What was nice was that you didn't
give up.

Just kept them coming. I mean, I'm
in two minds about that one. No way.

Honestly, I've gotta take him away.

Take him away. We'll leave you with
those. Thank you very much Keith,
bye!

They are all fairly consistent.

Yeah. It's really nice to see.

Apart from the variety of the rims,

yeah, you've got a lovely vertical
wall to it.

I'm really loathed to put any in...

...quite frankly.

I think that's the first time I've
heard him say that.

Maybe that one.

Even James? No, I think that's fair.

That one's a bit uneven,

but they're really well finished
off.

And a similar volume. Yeah.

Nobody feels short changed when it
comes to the mulled wine.

Nice work. Brilliant, well done.

I don't wanna look. Hello, lovey.

How did you find that?

I found that really intense.

I really wanted to be good at this.

The thing is... Oh, don't.

You really had a go.

You really, you felt the fear and
you did it anyway. I know.

And this is what this show's all
about. Oh, stop it.

It's fantastic.

It really is fantastic.

You know, this one's useless.

But, considering you'd never done it
before,

I'm gonna leave those now. Thank
you.

That means a lot. So, well done.
Well done. Yeah, nice work. Well
done.

Keith and Rich will now rank the
potters

from worst to first.

In fourth place -

Sunetra. Thank you.

In third place -

Dammit!

Ah.

In second place -

Jenny. Yes! Yes!

I think I got lucky. Well done,
Jenny.

That leaves first place,

Champion of the Wheel -

James. Well done, James.

Surprised and delighted.

Good for you. So good.

I think the more you do it the
better you get at it.

I could feel it getting better
towards the end.

Another Keith occurs when he's got
the bucket of doom

and it makes this terrible noise,
this sickening thud.

It's quite brutal.

I've never made anything on a
potter's wheel before.

But, I made Keith cry.

There's my Christmas present.

Whenever I drink from a mug ever
again,

I will be so grateful for whoever
made it.

They are the smartest people in the
world.

Oh, scientists? No, potters.

It's decoration day for our
celebrity potters' Christmas scenes

and after a 24 hour Bisque firing,

kiln technician, Rose, is laying out
the pieces ready for glazing.

I'm feeling really worried now,

I really don't want it to be
cracked. Ah.

I think cracks are inevitable.

I am hoping I can slide paint into
the crevasses.

It's a bit like painting my own
face,

there's quite a lot of cracks there.

Welcome back, potters.

Now, as you can see your Christmas
scenes have been Bisque-fired

and are under the hessian, ready to
be decorated.

Judges, do you have any advice for
our potters?

Decoration can really bring your
scenes to life,

but only if you use those pigments
wisely.

Think about what colour and where
you're putting it.

We really want to see your artistic
side come through.

When you remove the hessian

you'll see if your Christmas scenes
have survived the kiln firing.

Oh, no. If they're not as you
expect,

don't worry, just stay focussed,

keep going and it can still be a
merry Christmas.

You have three hours

and your time... No.

..starts... Oh, God.

..now. Potters, get decorating.

Wah! Yeah.

Oh, no. No, everyone's is fine.

Oh, it's, it's all there.

Oh, Jamie, well done! That's
unbelievable.

That is unbelievable.

Wow! Keith, look at that.

I know, I'm amazed. I'm gonna win!

I'm actually gonna win.

All yours fine, James?

No, I've got a big crack.

Sunetra, did yours crack?

No, did yours?

No, mine didn't.

Is yours perfect, Jamie?

I don't wanna say perfect,

cos that would be boasting, Jenny.

The celebrities have an array of
under glazes,

to help bring their scenes to life.

Chocolate, you're coming my way.

The more layers they add,

the stronger and more opaque the
colours will become.

I've no experience painting pottery.

I'll have to manufacture my own
subdued canal colours.

I know Morph is gonna be brown and
the tree's gonna be green,

but it's just committing it.

This is where you can ruin
the masterpiece.

I have a idea in my head what it
looks like.

We're gonna find out if that comes
out on the clay.

I've never done anything like this
before, but I paint.

So, I'm happy with a paintbrush

and I thought it was going to look
like a very heavy night

during the Blitz.

So, I am absolutely delighted.

Hi, James. Hello.

Have the kiln gods been kind?
Everything survived?

Yes, apart from that. Ah. Shoddy
building there.

So, it's just peeled away a bit?

But on the hole everything's OK, in
one piece?

Yeah, touch wood.

So, what's the plan with the
decoration?

Realism, I think.

OK, so what's your approach?

You just, sort of, adding a bit of
water and kind of... Yeah.

..going with thinner layers? Yeah.

It is a tough balance to strike with
under glaze,

cos too thin and it doesn't have the
intensity of colour. Yeah.

But that could be quite nice too,
actually. Yeah.

It's got charm if it's a bit blotchy
and atmospheric, perhaps.

That's what we hope, that's what we
hope.

But, while James is watering down
his colours

for a softer, uneven look...

Right, let's go for the green again.

..the others are aiming for a bold
and bright Christmas.

Apparently you have to do three
coats.

We have three hours to do this.

That's just not enough time.

I heard this story once about at
Gatwick Airport,

that as soon as they've finished
painting it

they have to start again at the
beginning.

I feel a little bit like that.

God, I've got so much to do.

Hi, lovey. No time to talk.

Oh. Concentrating too much.

I'm still getting over the shock
that everything's in one piece.

So are we. And mine hasn't cracked,

unlike others.

What an absolute...

What, I'm just being honest.

If your pot cracks, couple of points
deducted.

That's all I've... suggest the rules.

Potters, you're halfway through,
halfway through.

I've really gotta speed up here,
guys.

I'm feeling the same, Jamie,

and the more you hurry, the more
mistakes you make.

Hiya, Jenny. Hello, darling, we've
had a bit, a tiny disaster...

OK. ..in so much as the lid's come
off my petrol station.

The roof? That's all right, I mean
the good thing is that

gravity's working in the right
direction.

So, when you glaze it,

you'll probably need to glaze them
separately. Two halves.

Yeah, and then if you rest the top
piece on the bottom piece,

the glaze will become molten in the
kiln

and then when it goes hard again
they'll be bonded together.

It'll be fine. So, I mustn't panic
about that? No.

Definitely not. Thank you very much.
All right, cool, no worries.

This is my seed merchants.

I'm going for a stained red brick.

It's kind of exciting not knowing
what it's gonna come out like.

It's gonna have a bit of
unpredictability.

What colour scarf, green or red?

Red and green stripe.

No, too complicated. I wanna slow
you down.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I want to introduce you to the
beautiful piece

you are competing to win.

Made by our fair judges' hands.

Wow. Oh. Ah.

Imagine, this could be in your home.

So, work hard otherwise I'm taking
it home.

This has suddenly all got very,
very serious.

There's a trophy to win.

Could I just say how much I've
enjoyed being on your show.

I'm so glad to hear that.

I also enjoy the fact that you
called it my show.

Finally, somebody recognises who's
the real boss.

So, tell me, how're you getting on?

Have you tried putting the barge
under the bridge?

Let's do it.

Oh, it's, ugh...

There's a problem now.

Beep, beep, beep.

Reverse.

Potters, that's half an hour left.
Thank you.

Oh, my God. I'm nowhere near done.

I feel slightly... Sick? ..yeah.

This is the barge on the Dudley
canal.

I was born in Bilston.

I used to play by the canal when I
was a little boy.

I've never fallen in the canal,
touch wood.

The pub is very, very dull

and a great place to be at Christmas

would be in a g*y pub.

So, the roof is the pride flag.

But, I'm really up against time.

These are my sweets.

I've had to go over some of them a
little bit,

just to make sure the depth is
there.

I have to do my gingerbread,
do my roof

and do my whole ginger pie.

It's just about speed now.

Ten minutes.

Why would you be so mean?

This is gonna be down to the wire.

Are you finished, so you're
actually washing your palette?

I like to clean up after myself.

Is James washing up?

He's washing up. I can't bear it.

Does everyone know that James has
finished?

We're not talking to James.

Can James help us?

James, do you wanna colour some
jigsaw pieces for me?

Thank you, James.

You are, just, my best friend.

Five minutes left, potters.

Oh! Just a reminder that you will
need to dip each one of your items

in a clear glaze.

It'll make them lovely and shiny and
Christmassy.

OK, here we go.

Good luck, James. Thank you.

Right, I'm going for an easy dip.

Jenny, brilliant. How's this?

Perfect. Let my bottom drain.

Come on, guys, we're getting close
to time.

OK, dipping. Dipping, Jamie.

How do I do it? In and out.

That's it, lovely. Well done.

OK, Jenny, how're you doing?

I'm cleaning my bottom.

That is a very clean bottom.

Why do we need clean bottoms, Keith?

Because they don't stick to the kiln
shelf.

Don't worry, it's fine.

Oh, my God, this is just the
messiest thing I've ever done.

I've got 65 jigsaw pieces to do.

Too much water, lovey.

Oh, my God, I don't know what I'm
doing.

Five, four... No, no, no. ..three,
two, one.

There we go, just.

Put your pieces of pottery down.

You look like a mime.

Pleasure to sit next to you
and watch you at work.

Well done, potters.

You now need to bring your glazed
pieces down to Rose

and she'll put them in the kiln for
you.

Potters dismissed.

I've never concentrated like that,

it was so intense.

I'm quite looking forward to seeing
it glazed and shiny,

because I'm hoping that that will
cover a multitude of sins.

I'm hoping the colours are gonna
pop.

I'm hoping everything is gonna be
fine.

Rose was laughing, I don't know why.

I've just got everything crossed

that it's gonna come out and look
glorious.

Do you think there'll be games at
the end of the day,

where we'll get a glass of sherry

and we'll do pass the parcel or
something cos

it's been nothing but work since we
arrived.

It's judgement day

and after a 24-hour gloss firing,

Rose is playing Santa

and collecting the potters'
Christmas scenes

from the kiln.

I'm very much looking forward to
seeing

what colour the boat and everything
come out of the kiln.

So many chemistry things going on in
there.

My big worry is the petrol station
roof.

I see that, in my mind,

with a mighty crack across it.

That would be distressing.

Ah, oh God, this is the
moment-of-truth time.

My mum said, "If you really wish it,
it will happen."

So, all night I've been wishing

and just, touch wood, fingers
crossed, everything

that it's gonna be OK.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my goodness.

I just can't believe that's actually
what I made. Nothing broke up.

It worked.

I can't believe it looks like that.

It's better than I expected.

I'm absolutely thrilled that this
has stayed in one piece.

The glaze is a wonderful thing,
isn't it?

I'm very, very pleased.

If you saw that in a National Trust
shop

and just like, "Well, I think that's
a lovely present."

After three days of hand building,
decorating and two firings,

the potters' illuminated scenes are
now complete.

Magical.

But, will they fulfil the judges'
Christmas wishes?

Keith and Rich have got that aura of
- please impress me.

And if I don't I will be a bit
gutted.

Potters.

Look at your beautiful Christmas
scenes,

I think they're absolutely smashing.

But, it's not down to me.

We have the two judges here, so
let's get on with it.

Sunetra, if you could please bring
up your Christmas scene for the
judges.

This is an homage to my childhood
Christmases.

What I was allowed to conjure
myself.

My little friend represents the snow
angel,

cos he was the only other person who
looked a bit like me.

I really thought he and I were
mates.

As you were explaining that...

..it was a great narrative and

you know, look, Sunetra,

you've never done pottery before.
No.

And what you've given us is
something really, really wonderful.

Yeah, it's great, it's great. It's
fantastic.

It's immediately evocative of a
kid's Christmas

but actually, beyond that, it's well
built.

You could've just done something
really simple,

but you've really gone for it, you
haven't held back.

And the attention to detail here
with the sweets,

that's no mean feat to do that.

You've controlled the brush really
well,

you've thought about the colour,

it's really, really charming.

Shall we have the lights down? Yes,
let's have a look.

This does work really, really well.

The way you've got these hearts half
peeled out, it's really beautiful.

That's quite inspirational, really.

You've thought about those holes

to really, sort of, accentuate that
subtlety of light.

You do you feel about it?

I am so chuffed with my inner child.

As a non-arty person, if i can do
that

I really hope that, like, other
absolute beginners

feel like they can give it a go.

And that's what it's all about.

It...

It's breaking down those fears that
you have.

Mm.What are you doing to me?

You just look at me

and it's like you're talking to
five-year-old Sunetra and going,

"It's fine, you can do it."

But this is it, you know, saying
you're not good at art,

it kind of crushes me inside, cos so
many people get told that...

Yeah. ..and clearly you've got it in
you.

Thank you, Sunetra. Thanks. Yeah.
Thank you.

Wow, it's so bold, so colourful.

It does make you think of driving to
see all the relatives,

running from pillar to post.

I think it's wonderful.

We all know and love you, Jenny, for
your storytelling

and you've done exactly that here.

With humour

and with really, really good
execution,

a lovely bold use of colour.

To do this really, really sort of
definitely, concisely.

This is no mean feat.

And I really love this.

You can have it. Aw, it's fantastic.

There's a little bit of sagging
with the petrol station,

but on the whole it's survived the
firing really well.

And just the weird, distorted
reality, I just think it's fab.

Shall we see how it looks with the
lights out?

The pub works quite well.

Perhaps a few less holes in the
roofs,

but other than that it works quite
well, doesn't it? Yeah.

The narrative that you've given us

and the, just the joyful, playful
aesthetic. Wonderful.

Thank you very much, Jenny. My
pleasure.

It has been an absolute treat.

You've defied my expectations,

but you've defied physics.

The way you laid some of the pieces
on,

we really didn't think that was
gonna survive at all.

Yeah, I mean, talk about Christmas
miracle.

The wings of the roof, how they're
still up I have no idea.

You just have to close your eyes and
you just go,

"Please," and then it happens.

It went through so many iterations
as you were making,

but actually, what it's ended up as,

is really quite beautiful.

The colours straight away leap out
and say, "Christmas."

The heart doorway looks like a
mouth,

it looks like it's about to burst
into some...

..song.

It's got such character.

We were asking for your
personalities

to come out in a Christmas scene

and on a serious note...

..it is, it's fantastic.

Thank you so much.

But it just shows you,

if you focus, look what you can
achieve.

But, how does it look with the light
coming out?

Yeah, let's have a look. That's the
question.

There's certain aspects of it that
work better than other.

The gingerbread pie is, perhaps, the
weakest,

cos those openings are so big you
immediately see the tea lights,

but these window cutouts are lovely
and, actually,

I wasn't sure whether the igloo come
Christmas pudding was gonna work,

but actually there's something quite
inviting

about just that one opening with
that little light.

I didn't realise how proud I was
gonna be.

So, I appreciate it, thank you very
much.

It's great, Jamie, well done.

James.

It's fantastic.

It's absolutely wonderful.

I was looking at you at that work
station

and you seemed really content

and what you've given us is really
considered,

wonderfully ex*cuted,

the attention to detail with the
Christmas tree,

you've even put the speed limit on
the bridge

and it's absolutely stunning.

You kind of feel like you're
immersed in the whole thing.

It's just a great composition.

You've really worked with the
material qualities of the clay,

you've embossed it at the right time

and then you've used the under
glazes to enhance it

and there's such character in your
sculpted figures.

Just the simple tilt of the head,

the way the torso is sitting.

They come alive.

I'm quite keen to see it with the
lights off, actually.

Yeah, shall we do it?

James.

It's fantastic.

It's wonderful. What do you think?

It's fantastic, lovey.

You've done a great job. Yeah, it
looks great in the light. It is,
it's really, really good.

The light works so well with the
canal boat and the outbuildings.

It's Christmas, isn't it?

It's fantastic.

Thank you, Keith.

It's been a great experience.

I couldn't have liked it more.
Really?

I, for one, am really glad that
you've enjoyed the experience
because

I have so enjoyed you making that.

Well done, James.

Yeah, well done, James. Well done,
lovey, yeah.

Thank you.

Thanks, lovey.

The whole thing's been a thrill.

I think if you're doing anything
artistic, it's really nice if people
praise you,

cos it gives you the confidence to
go a bit further and do it more.

I didn't cry but I was close.

Keith, he just brings out this
emotional trigger.

It was like he was forgiving me

for all the times I've said I was
really bad at art

and telling me no, actually, you're
all right, you're good, you did it.

I think I felt, for a second, actual
joy

and I know that that was a shared
joy and relief

and it was really rather a moment.

The judges are gonna deliberate,

we're gonna find out who's the
winner

and I think we all can agree, it's
definitely gonna be me.

Cos if it's not me, there's gonna be
a mutiny.

It'll be pitch forks, fire,

that kiln's gonna be thrown out the
window.

Well, it's been a wonderful
Christmas.

Twinkling lights and famous potters
in our pottery.

How do you think they've gotten on?

I think they've done tremendously
well.

And I think they're all really proud
of what they've made.

Who for you has stood out?

Well, James has just played a
complete blinder.

He came first in the second
challenge

and his Christmas barge scene is
just sublime.

I suppose a petrol station doesn't
immediately come to mind

when you think of Christmas,

but Jenny has managed an unusual
Christmas slant.

It had such a lovely bold use of
colour

and I love the distorted
perspective.

And she did rather well in the
second challenge.

Well, I mean, there was no lack of
ambition there.

I think the same with Sunetra,
really.

She has really thrown herself into
this, no pun intended.

To come onto a show where you've
never really done anything with clay
before,

it's a real testament to her
character

and I loved her tenacity and hard
work.

And talking about trying their
hardest -

finally we have Jamie.

Rich, you called it a Christmas
miracle.

Well, I mean it was.

He didn't come in with a plan

and all of his build went though so
many different incarnations,

but actually it really came together
as a set.

Well, they have all done so, so
well,

but the stakes are really, really
high.

Do you know who's gonna win?

We just need to discuss it a little
bit further

and then we're good to go.

OK. Maybe go and have a glass of
eggnog, while we have a chat.

Oh, OK, thank you.

I might have two actually.

As Keith and Rich make their final
decision,

a crowd has gathered to hear who
will be the winner

of the first ever Festive Pottery
Throw Down.

Hello, everyone.

Happy Christmas and thank you so
much for coming to our festive
final.

Can we have a wonderful round of
applause

for our marvellous potters -

Jenny, James, Jamie and Sunetra.

You've done so well,

really, you should be very proud of
yourselves.

But this is the moment we have all
been waiting for.

The judges have made their decision

and I am extremely excited and
delighted to say

the winner of the Festive Pottery
Throw Down is...

..James.

I've never won anything before.

Well done, James. Well done, mate.

It's been a privilege. Well done,
mate.

You really, really deserve it. Thank
you very much.

I'm overwhelmed, um...

I've not won a trophy before.

I couldn't have enjoyed it more.

I think I'll retire now from
competition,

I'll just call it a day with this
victory.

James was a deserving winner.

His build was beautiful.

The composition, the colour palette
he used, it was just exquisite.

Well done, seriously.

The country would have risen from
their sofas

and rioted if James hadn't won.

He did a beautiful thing.

I loved it.

This whole experience has just been
brilliant.

All I need now is a glass of mulled
wine

and... it's a brass band I hear.

Come on.

Our festive four gave us hard work,

bravery and just laughter.

It really set me up for that
Christmas glow inside me.

It was wonderful.

It's just so exciting to see people
who have little experience of clay,

come into the pottery and see what's
so lovely about the material.

You know, I think we've got four new
passionate potters.

I mean, this has just made my
Christmas.

I'd be sad if you said, "You'll
never make any pottery ever again."

So, that's a win.

I'd like to continue with pottery,
yes.

Perhaps I could have a kiln as a
Christmas present next year?

And a very happy Christmas to
everybody.

Thank you. Bye.