01x21 - Mer-made in Oceanside/Full House (of Bugs)

[bunniefuu]

[♪ mellow music playing]

And that's my room. So, yeah...

as long as you watch out
for the bear traps...

snare traps, tourist traps,

and my vintage DVD of The Apparent Trap.

You should be all set.

- [trap snaps]
- [peacock squeals]

[swallows]

And I got you a welcome gift.

I heard peacocks like to grub on...

- ...termites!
- [peacock squawks]

I bet it's not that bad.

This is very bad.

Your house is an all-you-can-eat
termite buffet.

Ugh. I'll need at least a week.

Thanks, Ms. Ohlson.

Don't worry, kids.
I've arranged a place to stay

while our house is fumigated.

Goodbye, old friend.

We're staying at Hailey's house?!

Ugh! Are we there yet?

[♪ excited music playing]

[Scott and Hailey overlapping dialogue]

[both] This will be the best week ever!

The guest room is all yours.

We're gonna have a blast.

I'm a little worried our parents

might step on each other's toes, though.

[Patricia] The AC's on,

so I'll get the door for you, Sunny.

Heh. Not trying to cool the whole planet.

[Sunny] Ha! I'm surprised
someone who doesn't sort

their recycling is so interested
in the environment.

Okay, very worried.

But if we just avoid them,

this week's gonna be awesome.

Not only that, I'm downloading
a new software update,

and it includes a sweet
new sound-effect library.

It'll take a while, though.

So no list items.

- [Scott] Yeah!
- [Hailey] Whoo-hoo!

Let the Banksogas' week of fun begin!

[♪ upbeat music plays]

[Hailey gasps] Scott!

You can't put your hand
in the pickle juice.

- That's gross!
- [studio audience laughs]

That was... weird.

It was me.

My software update is synched with my A.I.

to play TV Sitcom Sound Effects
at will. Ugh.

This update is full of bugs.

Guess it's not just my house.

[studio audience laughter]

That's a bad joke! Don't encourage him.

- [jar shatters]
- [studio audience laughter]

Hailey, why wouldn't you screw

the lid back on the jar? That's crazy!

Because if I wanted one, it'd be easier.

Why are you picking up the jar by the lid?

That is crazy.

[studio audience oohs]

- [both laugh]
- [studio audience laughter]

Look at us, a couple of roommates.

Right? Looks like living together

might reveal some fun
little quirks about each other.

- Just watch out for that...
- [squish]

- [studio audience laughter]
- ...pickle juice.

Make! It! Stop!

[♪ sitcom transition music plays]

Hailey, I'm home!

[studio audience cheering]

[thumping]

Ugh, how many times have I told you
to use a coaster?!

Hey, when you buy the coffee table,

you can make the rules.

[studio audience laughter]

- Is now a bad time?
- [studio audience applause]

[studio audience cheering]

Never get that door fixed, Hailey.

[studio audience laughter]

[babies babbling]

Looks like you didn't make
a snack for the twins.

Guess I'll do it. Again.

[studio audience laughter]

[studio audience laughter]

- Where are you going?
- I like snacks.

[studio audience laughter]

[studio audience laughter]

I'm just saying, it hasn't exactly

been the best week for me.

I know Hailey's having a great time.

Oh, I am having a terrible time.

[studio audience laughter]

Why did that just laugh?

I've stopped trying
to understand it at this point.

Scott just has these habits
I never noticed

'til we were spending
literally every second together.

Like have you every noticed
that Hailey's a heel stomper?

I can hear her from
the other side of the house!

Scott hums without even realizing.

- Thank goodness I'm not doing...
- [stomping]

anything annoying like that.

[stomping continues]

[studio audience laughter]

Why don't you just tell Hailey
you want some time apart?

I cant tell him. He'd be crushed.

That would hurt Hailey's feelings so bad.

It could ruin our friendship.

It's just a few more days. I can make it.

What I do know is...

[both] This week cannot end soon enough!

[studio audience chuckles]

I like snacks.

[studio audience laughter]

- Oh! Heh.
- [studio audience laughter]

Jeez, we sure can't
get enough of each other.

But I bet our parents are probably
at each other's throats.

♪ We're the best of friends
Yeah! ♪

♪ Hope this week won't end
Yeah! ♪

[all laughing]

Kids, you gotta make
your own dinner tonight.

The three amigos are
going out to celebrate.

We just told Ms. Ohlson to take her time

finishing the house since we're having

so much fun together.

Yeah, these fumigation timelines
are pretty flexible.

I've got a lot of exterminator experience
from UF Dough,

if you know what I mean.

[studio audience laughter]

We all know what you mean.

- You have a D health rating.
- Mom, you told me

- that "D" was for Denoga.
- [studio audience laughter]

♪ We'll eat so much dessert
Yeah! ♪

♪ Until our bellies hurt
Yeah! ♪

Beta, do you know what this means?

Yeah, they must have
preplanned those conga songs.

[studio audience laughter]

No! It means more time living
with Scott's humming and pickle fingers.

I won't survive it,

unless I butter up Ms. Ohlson

and get her to speed up
the fumigation instead.

- [studio audience oohs]
- Scott!

We should surprise Ms. Ohlson

with a thank-you dinner

for giving us more roomie time! Heh.

- Yes, because I, too...
- [studio audience laughter]

...am loving this, but are you sure?

Yes! Yeah. Heh.

Maybe she'll even extend it further

- after our great dinner.
- [studio audience laughter]

Wouldn't that be something?

- Something I cannot let happen.
- [studio audience laughter]

I gotta sabotage this so Ms. Ohlson

won't extend it a minute longer.

We gotta blow this dinner up!

Well, you came
to the right sister. Heh-heh.

Uh, wait. Do you mean
blow it up figuratively

- or literally?
- [studio audience laughs]

The court might ask me to specify.

[studio audience laughter]

[Beta] What the heck
are you laughing at now?!

[♪ upbeat music plays]

[Beta] Okay, based on Ms. Ohlson's profile

on the dating website
Fumigation Flirtation,

her likes are classical music,

fine art, and French cuisine.

Mozart is cued up, art is prepped
and a soufflé is in the oven.

And her dislikes are birds,
the color green, and hard rock.

Frank and Petey are in my room,
I've hidden every houseplant,

and the only hard rock
is going to be how hard

I rock this dinner.

[person coughs in studio audience]

Huh. Kinda thought that'd get a--

[doorbell rings]

[classical music playing over speakers]

Ms. Ohlson! What a surprise!

You requested I come over.

[studio audience laughter]

Oh, that's a broken toy of mine,
just ignore it.

Why don't you stay for dinner?

Heck, why don't you rush
that ol' fumigation process, too?

[studio audience laughter]

I'm just kidding. Kinda.

Well, perhaps I could dine here...

Great news, hangdogs.

Scornhusk's new track just dropped!

It's called "Make
My Bloody Eardrums Bleed."

[♪ hard rock blaring over speakers]

- One sec.
- [classical music resumes]

- What are you doing?
- Livening up a lame party.

- Green necklace?
- [studio audience laughter]

Yes, I want a necklace, but not now.

I've planned the perfect evening
for Ms. Ohlson.

Speaking of, I need you to grab

the appetizers in the kitchen.

[studio audience laughter]

I know you're a fan of art, Ms. Ohlson,

so I made you a little something.

You made me something?

Because I'm fumigating
your neighbor's house?

[studio audience laughter]

I studied your face for hours

to get the nose just right.

Hailes, was this the appetizer-- Whoa!

[studio audience oohs]

Shrimp? Quick! We gotta
clean this up before--

[birds squawking]

[Ms. Ohlson screams]

Maybe some Scornhusk will calm them down.

I hear if you play it backwards,
there's a secret message.

[hard rock playing backwards
over speakers]

[Hailey] Frank! Petey!

Stop it. They're rascals, these two.

- [timer beeping]
- My soufflé?

Scott, please go get it before it burns.

- [music stops]
- [studio audience laughter]

I made some recipe changes,

which I think will be
a recipe for a disaster.

- [studio audience laughter]
- Oh, relax. Nobody'll get hurt.

I don't think. Maybe.

I'm so sorry about this, Ms. Ohlson.

But we can fix it.
We still got the soufflé!

You love French cuisine.

I looked up your dating profile

just to craft the perfect evening,

not to creep on you. That'd be crazy.

I'm not crazy. Thorough, sure.

But you deserve the best.

After all, you are
my neighbor's fumigator.

[studio audience groans]

[studio audience laughter]

This has been the worst day
of my entire life!

And I get rid of pests for a living.

[studio audience laughter]

You ruined it, Scott! Thanks!

I had to, okay!

You were trying to get her
to extend the fumigation,

and we'd be stuck together even longer.

What?! I was charming her
so she'd shorten it

and you'd move out.

So we both want the same thing?

- [both laughing]
- [studio audience laughter]

I thought you'd be so offended.

But your humming has been driving me nuts.

I'm surprised you can hear my humming

- over your heel stomping.
- [studio audience laughter]

You could've just told me!

Honestly, just telling you

- makes me feel better already.
- Wow.

We could have made this so much easier

if we had just been honest
with each other.

- Totally!
- [studio audience] Aww!

You know what's kinda nice, though,

even when we disagree,
we were still on the same page.

You're right.

And there's no one's quirks
I'd rather put up with

than yours, Hailes.

[studio audience] Aww!

Okay, these "Awws"
are getting to be a bit much.

- [studio audience] Aww!
- Ooh! I got one!

Never mind! I like 'em!

[studio audience laughter]

Well, after tonight's fiasco
with Ms. Ohlson,

I bet we'll be living together
even longer.

♪ Most fun we ever ha-ad ♪

♪ Now we're stinkin' sa-ad ♪

[studio audience laughter]

What did you two do?

We ran into Ms. Ohlson.

She said she's rushing the fumigation
so she doesn't have to be near

our nutty kids anymore.

So we get to go home?!

All right! We did it!

[studio audience cheering and applause]

Let's go. They're being weird.

[studio audience laughter]

♪ Our happy days are done
Yeah ♪

♪ Ruined by our daughter
And son, yeah ♪

Wait, what?

The software update compiled
a video slide show of this past week?

- [♪ upbeat music playing]
- [seagulls squawking]

♪ Days like these
Time spent together ♪

♪ Two families, one house
What could be better? ♪

♪ Short on space
But long on love ♪

♪ Makin' memories while
The bugs are disposed of ♪

♪ It's the Banksogas
Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The Banksogas ♪

[Hailey] Wait a second.
How did it get the video of you, Beta?

[Beta] I don't know!

[♪ theme song ending flourish]

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ World's what you make it,
get up and chase it ♪

♪ Leaving nothing to chance ♪

♪ I'm taking action,
making it happen ♪

♪ No matter what
tomorrow might bring ♪

♪ I got the guts
to do anything ♪

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ Promise I'm on it
I'm on it ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

-♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
- ♪ Hailey's on it ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hailey's on it ♪