01x19 - Frankly Fabulous/The Pin is Mightier Than the Swole

[bunniefuu]

[feel good music playing]

[sighs]

[Hailey] Look, before
you call me a party pooper,

what you don't know is
it's Uncle birthday season, and I'm wiped.

It's a different party
every day for a week,

and my uncles are so extra
when it comes to their themes.

Ugh! Don't you dare put those
petri dishes in here.

And why are you so glum?
You're at a party!

One where you can conveniently
complete list item number ninety-two,

"Let Dad Win at Bowling."

Ugh! I finally have an uncle
event that's exactly my speed,

but I have to purposely lose!

Things could be worse,
you could be that guy.

Hey, you can't hold those
pizzas like that!

- Um...
- I'm not giving you a tip!

Beta, losing to my dad
in a game of bowling

won't be as simple as you think.

Not to brag, but I'm gonna brag,
I'm a good bowler.

Good? You're great!

That's why we call you The Hammer!

I do nail... it every game!

Like a hammer.

Actually, why aren't I called The Nail?

No, The Hammer is better.

My dad, on the other hand, is...

[gasps]

Terrible! Absolutely hopeless!

He stinks up the place!

I was gonna be nicer about it,
but yeah, he does.

And he really beats himself up
when he loses,

that's why I put this on my list.

I just wanna give him a win.

Hailey, I hope you brought your game face,

because I've been practicing mine!

[growls, sneezes]

My game face was the first part,
not the sneeze.

But, hey, I've been improving!

Don't wanna brag, but I'm gonna brag,

I doubled my personal best
and rolled an eighty-two last time.

Whoa! Way to go, Dad!

I can lose to an eighty-two,

just throw in a few gutter ba*ls
and list item accomplished.

Okay, put 'em up, Darlene!

[Kai] See? What'd I tell ya?

Lane bumpers?

So that's how he's been improving.

How are you gonna lose to him
if you can't throw gutter ba*ls?

I don't know.

Somehow I have to become good
at being bad.

I'll find you a foam ball,
or maybe a ping pong ball.

You won't knock anything down with those.

They don't allow those on the lanes, Beta.

But never mind, you're already gone.

[♪ upbeat music plays]

[gasps]

What is this glowing beacon of delight?

Seven different hair options,
neck enhancements! Oh, my!

Just try a granny roll.

Ah! I forgot how good grannies
can be at bowling!

Go Granny! Go Granny!
It's Marty's birthday!

Looks like we've got ourselves
a game! Whoa-h*!

Ooh! Get your head in the game, man!

[♪ upbeat music plays]

Ohh!

Whoo-hoo!

Ohh!

You almost had me there, Dad!

What? No, he didn't!

You won by a hundred and thirty points!

- Shh!
- [loud bang]

- Was that a--
- Time glitch!

Hey, Dad, uh, rematch?

I need a drink.

[slurps]

I'm just too good!

I need to get bad, and quick.

It's almost like you need anti-skill.

You need to become
a total black hole of talent.

How do I learn to do that?

I think I know just the person
you should talk to.

May I present, Darryl.

Everything he touches becomes a disaster.

You just need to figure out
his losing formula

and apply it to your bowling game.

Darryl, show us what you can do
with this ball.

[♪ disco music plays]

Don't dance with it, Darryl! Bowl with it!

Huh, yikes! I sound just like my mom!

He's horrible!

Show me your ways.

[♪ mysterious music plays]

I'm, uh, going this way.

[laughs] Let's go!

[machine chimes]

[♪ upbeat rock music plays]

♪ Now is the time ♪

♪ To show what you're not made of ♪

♪ It's a downhill climb ♪

♪ In your little hands I'm afraid of ♪

♪ The world as you know it
The words of a poet ♪

♪ You better blow it
Blow it, blow it ♪

♪ You can do it
Whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ You can lose it
Whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ You can be the very worst
the world has ever seen ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh
You can do it ♪

- [Beta cackling]
- ♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪

Attention, bowlers.

The bowling alley
will be closing in five minutes.

Please make this
the last game of the night.

[crowd boos]

What do you think?

[Scott] Hmm, slouch forward,
chin down, shoulders saggy.

Now, how bad do you want it?

- Not at all.
- [Darryl] Perfect.

You're ready... to get in my mouth.

Ah.

Yeah! Ah.

Yeah! Ah.

[♪ whimsical music plays]

It worked! Darryl,
did you see how bad that was?

Ah.

Yeah! Ah.

Yeah!

[lively music plays]

Yee-hoo! This is my game!

Who's wasting 800 bucks
on instructional tapes now, Patricia?

- Mm.
- Yeah, Dad!

- You're really on fire!
- [laughs]

I gotta go tell the guys.

Wah!

[Chaos Bot] Chaos!

Scott!

I just tried it for a second!

No, there's a chaos bot,

it's messing with my game!

[Beta] I got this.

[heroic rock music plays]

- Beta?
- You've been lifting, bro!

Hailey, you handle the bowling,
I'll take care of this bot.

Swole patrol coming through!

[action music plays]

You want a piece of this, bro?

Oh, you're gonna pay for that!

Come back here, you coward!

Oh, man, now it looks like
I skipped leg day.

♪ Happy birthday, dear Marty ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪

Ha!

[screams]

Oh, my sweet hawk!

But I can beat you with just one hand.

Okay, maybe not.

Looks like the last frame, Hailey.

You just need four pins to win.

So, how do I approach this?

Well, I like to go cake first
then frosting.

Oh, you meant the bowling.
Yeah, I don't know.

Okay, I just need to get a three or less.

Uh! This beefy body is holding me back.

Whoa! Oh!

[struggling] Oh, uh! Ugh!

To survive a w*r you gotta become w*r.

[screams]

One pin! Yes!

[scoreboard chimes]

That was truly pathetic.

Live for nothing or die for something.

Your call.

Ah!

Uh-oh.

Ah!

[Chaos Bot] Chaos!

Oh, yeah!

[heroic rock music plays]

Beta, you're back to normal!

Yeah, I didn't need all those

so-called enhancements.

At least you got to keep
that absolute dumptruck

of a butt!

Goodnight, sweet prince!

Okay, this is my last roll,
and I need to hit zero pins.

How am I supposed to do that?

[digital beeping and buzzing]

According to my calculations,
there's only one possible move

to avoid striking any pins.

The serpent's curve?

That shot's impossible...

if your name isn't The Hammer.

That's me. My nickname's
The Hammer, remember?

Will you just roll?

Last roll, Hailey,

let's see what you've got.

[electronic music plays]

[slowed] Ahh!

♪ You can lose it
Whoa, oh, oh ♪

- Whoo hoo!
- Whoo hoo! Yeah! [laughs]

Ah, shucks! Guess you beat me, Dad!

Ah, man, I am rip-roaring upset!

I would say "good game" but...

I think you lost on purpose.

What? I--

[sighs] Okay, I did.

I just... I really wanted
to see you win one, Dad.

What are you talking about?

I beat Darryl all the time!

Uh... ha!

But you shouldn't diminish
your talents for me.

[speaking Hawaiian]

The taro is good because of its offshoots.

I'm the taro; you, you're my offshoot.

Yeah, I, I get it.

Point is, if you're good, I'm good.

- I love you, Dad!
- I love you too.

This is exactly what we needed.

So, Hailey, you up for one more game?

Darlene seems pretty preoccupied.

[rock music plays]

Yes! Rematch! You sure I shouldn't
hold back this time?

Give it all you've got, Hammer.

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ World's what you make it,
get up and chase it ♪

♪ Leaving nothing to chance ♪

♪ I'm taking action, making it happen ♪

♪ No matter what tomorrow might bring ♪

♪ I got the guts to do anything ♪

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ Promise I'm on it
I'm on it ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Hey, hey, Hailey's on it ♪