01x15 - The Fart of w*r/Who Let the Dogs Out? (Hailey)

[bunniefuu]

♪ It's after breakfast
Not quite lunch ♪

♪ Time to get
That Dingles crunch ♪

♪ Dingles
Dah, dah, dah, dah, Dingles ♪

- Yum!
- [applause]

Ugh. Humans. Such buffoons.

♪ No one can eat ♪

♪ Just a single Dingle ♪

Fun.

[Hailey] Except
we weren't here for fun.

We were here for justice.

How did two best friends and
a bear phone from the future

end up in a tangled web
of Dingles and lies?

It all started with
a sack of Squash Wafers.

Ooh, you went to that fancy
grocery store, Ere-Gahnce.

Did you get my oat ba*ls?
Or nut slabs?

Or any snacks for people?

I got Squash Wafers.

And this whole bag
was only 22 bucks.

[hacks]

[Hailey]
"Auntie Bland's Squash Wafers."

Were the pilgrims
known for chips?

Who cares?

It's organic,
which means it's healthy.

Just like my chocolates.

Mmm, so healthy.

Scott, look at this.

"We're the brand
that doesn't test on dogs."

What do you think that means?

"Dingles secret cover-up..."

[gasps]

"...goes all the way
to the top..."

[gasps]

"Chip Dingle has no comment"?

[deep gasp]
I ran out of air.

[coughs]

Ah! It's morning?

Want some breakfast Dingles?

They're bacon
and orange juice flavored.

You're eating
the tears of beagles!

The instrument? Or the band?
Or the sandwich?

Scott, for the 50th time,

a bugle is the instrument,
the Beatles were the band,

and I don't even know what
sandwich you're talking about.

A beagle is a dog.

Oh, got it.

Although I still have no idea
what we're talking about.

What is with all this
early-morning buffoonery?

- [gasps]
- [Beta] Whoa, Hailey!

Why do you look like
a feral possum?

Beta! I found the facts
nobody wants us to find!

According to
the Chip-Truther website,

the Dingles Corporation
tests their recipes on dogs!

I... don't care.

Dingles would never.

And my mom says
you can't believe

everything you read online.

People post lies
about U.F. Dough all the time,

saying the pizza
tastes like cardboard

and Darryl's incompetent.

Yeah, those are definitely lies.

Hailey, it sounds like you went
down quite the rabbit hole.

Without me?

Do the rabbits
have their own bedrooms

or sleep in one big
rabbit pile or, like...

There's another meaning
of "rabbit hole," isn't there?

Guys, it's all true!

I have the proof!

- [dog barks distantly]
- [nervous breathing]

[whispering]
I just heard a dog bark.

- [barking]
- There it is again!

- [heavy breathing]
- [giggles]

Dogs were barking
inside the Dingles factory.

That girl or man,
they heard it.

Hailey, I'm sorry, there's
no way Dingles would do this.

Did you know every summer,
they donate skateboards

to Babies Without Boards?

Mm-hmm. How about
Boys Without Brains?

I didn't take you two
for such sheeple.

Looks like I'll just have
to open your eyes myself.

Wait, what are you doing?

Adding "Free the beagles
from the Dingles factory"

to my list.

Aah! You can't add
a new list item.

You'll cause a time glitch.
[yelps]

Oh, I guess you can add
a new list item.

Now we just have to figure out

how to get into
the Dingles factory.

I know. Do you guys remember

when I found that Golden Chip
in the Dingles tube?

Yeah that, like,
just happened.

Well, that chip entitles me
to a VIP tour

of the Dingles Factory.

That's perfect!

Once we're in there, you'll see.

You'll all see the truth!

And that's how
we ended up here,

ready to expose
the Dingles dirty secret.

♪ Dingles
Dah, dah, dah, dah, Dingles ♪

Yeah.

[applause]

Thank you. You're too kind.

Uh, did you not
like the show, miss?

Heh. What Dingle flavor would
turn that frown upside down?

The flavor of truth!

Mmm, truth.

Listen, Chip,
I know you're hiding something,

and I will expose you.

[both gasp and giggle]

After them!

Oh, goodness me! Stop!

No! You're gonna find out
about the...

secret Dingles paradise.

[angelic Dingles theme playing]

Sheeple, don't be taken in
by the...

Only potato tree in the world!

[laughs] It's the secret

behind the Dingles crunch.

Uh, we cook them first.

See, Hailes?
This place is awesome!

No. This is clearly
a distraction and...

- What the heck?
- [gasps]

That's our sweet onion dust.

It comes from real onion clouds!

[bells jingling]

Is this real life?

If not, don't wake me up.

And did you know,
talented artists

hand-paint our barbecue flavor
directly onto our chips?

And finally, chip lovers,

time to take a ride
down the nacho river!

Wow!

Scott, you're getting caught up

in sweet onion fantasies.

That's what they want you to--
[gasps]

I just saw a fish jump.
No, don't get caught up.

Aha. I knew it.

A doggy door.

Probably for their
"bring your dog to work" days.

That would be
a food safety hazard.

Nuh-uh. My mom brings our dog
to U.F. Dough all the time.

Bucky helps clean the kitchen.

Yeah, the less you tell me
about your mom's restaurant,

the better.

No, no, I got this.

This little door's not for dogs.
It's for fun.

[grunts]

I was wrong. Not fun.

[Beta laughing]

Buffoon.

[peppy music playing
over speakers]

See? No dogs.

- [dog barking]
- [gasps] Ha!

Yes, dogs.

Beta, can you get
that door open?

We need to save those beagles.

I can, but I'll be in full view
of those workers.

[Hailey] I have an idea.

Man, boss is really riding
our hides today.

TGIF, am I right?

It's Tuesday.

[Hailey] Yeah! Tuesday's...

good... in...

factory.

I hear that.

Hey, you guys here to take over?

Does my wife nag me about doing
more fancy date nights?

[laughs]

I've been there.

Oh, uh, just a reminder.

This machine has
a new overflow alarm

that will ring if the
chardon girded mortox capacitor

over-fluctuates
due to torque pressure.

So don't lift the bracket bar
unless it's flashing,

or you'll overbalance
the steel-kirn.

So... pack 'em,
and rack 'em, right?

Heh-heh, you know it.

[Beta grunting]

Ah! We need to slow
this thing down.

- Maybe if I...
- [alarm blaring]

Ah! You just over-fluctuated the
chardon girded mortox capacitor.

Why would you do that?

Wait, you were
following all that?

- [Beta grunting]
- Beta, everything okay?

Peachy.

[squeaking]

Stop right there! Security!

Run!

Beta, we need that door
opened yesterday!

[beeping and chiming]

One, two, three, four?

Come on, really?

- [both grunt]
- Right in the Dingles.

Finally. The truth.

The jig is up. We know
you have beagles in here.

So what do you have to say
for yourself?

[barks and pants]

What?

[computerized voice]
Hello. Dingles. Boss.

Dingles. Boss. Me. Hello.

I told you there was
a reasonable explanation

for all this. Ha.

Kinda wondering
what that is right now.

- Hello.
- Treat.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Oh! I'm too late!

You know our secret!

Actually, we're
more confused than ever.

So you don't test on dogs?

[barking and howling]

What? No, that would be awful.

Flavor testing is my job.

Even when I was little,
my father knew it was my dream

to be chief flavor tester.

When he retired,
he gave me the job.

He left the boring business
stuff to our beloved beagles.

Truth is, they've always
had a nose for business.

[Chip laughs]

Nose for bus--

[laughing]

People might think it's crazy
to have dogs run our company,

but our profits are soaring.

- Spreadsheet.
- Profits.

Treat?

So I guess you
really can't believe

everything you read online.

We don't bother
addressing the rumors.

You know, and we're happy.

I mean, I wish these dogs

would take a break
every now and then,

but other than that,
it's perfect.

Treat. Treat.

Isn't that right,
my little workaholics?

Oh! Oh, who's a good boy?

Hmm. In that case,

maybe I can still free
the beagles

from the Dingles factory.

You dogs have worked hard.

How about a little playtime, huh?

[all whimper]

I got this.

- Don't you da--
- [squeaks]

- [squeaks]
- I wuv you!

Who wants to play?
Who wants to play?

- [all panting]
- [Beta] Scott!

[all barking]

Oh! They can finally use
their vacation days.

- As a token of my thanks...
- [Beta] Scott!

let me offer you a taste
of our unreleased flavor,

chosen by the dogs themselves.

A new flavor? Yes!

[Beta]
No! No, no! You stay back!

What flavor is this?

It's called Rawhide.

Yup. That's it.

I do not like it.

Well, next time I read
something online,

I'll be sure
to check my sources.

But you gotta wonder,

what kind of sick person would
make up rumors about Dingles?

[mouse clicks]