01x12 - The Select Females

[bunniefuu]

[thud]

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a bold adventurin' man ♪

- Mornin', Mr. Bowie.

- Morning Eli, my horse ready?

- Yes sir, right around the side.

- Grained and watered?

- Yes sir, take you clear to New Orleans without a stop.

- Thank you, Eli.

[carriage creaking]

To reach New Orleans without a stop

was exactly what I had in mind.

There was a certain lady there

waiting for me to take her to the Opera Ball that night.

- Please, sir, please!

- Did you see that?

- What, sir?

- The girl in that carriage, she seemed frightened.

Did you hear her call out?

- [Eli] I didn't notice anything

out of the usual, Mr. Bowie.

- You know, Eli, sometimes kinda hard

to mind your own business, 'specially when

somebody else's business is a pretty girl.

- Yeah, I guess so, Mr. Bowie.

- Yeah. [men's choir singing]

Afternoon ladies, you havin' a little trouble?

- And what does it look like if not trouble?

- Our only cart, monsieur, has failed us.

- Failed us indeed, and just when it was needed most.

- Well, can I be of any help?

- Well how kind of you monsieur, would you please?

- If you feel you can be of any assistance

it would not be unappreciated.

- Oui, monsieur, to be swiftly on our way

is of the greatest importance.

- I'm sure it is, let's have a look.

Well, if you ladies can manage the wheel,

I'll lift the cart, and then you set the wheel on the axle.

- Oui, monsieur.

- Lift when ready, sir.

- Ready?

- That's it, good.

Now just one thing, ladies, before you go,

how you gonna keep the wheel on?

- Pardon, monsieur?

- There's no nut to keep the wheel on.

- It is necessary that we have this nut?

- Well, without it the wheel's

gonna come off next bend you come to.

I'll have a look.

- You found it?

- Nope, a piece of wood.

- Oh, if only I had not permitted

Mary Lou to leave with that woman,

but she said she was Mary Lou's monsieur

so why should I have doubted her.

- Mary Lou?

- One of her pupils at Ms. Peabody's Select Female Academy.

On Churchill Street, you must know of it, monsieur.

- The Select Female Academy?

I know it slightly, the young ladies there

are so, they're so young.

- Oh monsieur, I'm so worried,

Ms. Peabody has every right to send me back to France

in dishonor and disgrace.

Do you think she would do that, monsieur?

- Did she bring you over here?

- Yes, to teach the select females to do Parisian accent.

- Oh.

- Ah, but she's such a strong woman,

with such a control over the emotion.

I cannot tell if she will forgive me or not.

So you see we must find Marie, do you know monsieur?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm beginning to.

- It is so important in so many ways,

such as the handsome contribution Colonel Carter

has promised to make to the academy.

- Colonel Carter?

- Yeah, Mary Lou's papa, ah, he is very rich.

And Ms. Peabody is so dizzy over enlarging the school.

Ah, but if we do not find her,

I'm afraid poor Ms. Peabody

will never see the handsome contribution.

- Yeah, yeah, I see, that's bad.

- Yeah, and all because of me, monsieur.

All because of my foolish, trusting people.

- Now, now mademoiselle, no need to get upset.

- To have trust in people, it is a Christian virtue,

is it not, monsieur?

- Yeah, I guess it is, up to a point.

Why are you telling me all this?

- To be honest monsieur, I do not know,

except that, perhaps I thought you might be able to help.

You will help, will you not monsieur?

- Well, I'd like to help but you see,

I got someone waitin' for me in New Orleans,

it's a matter of urgent business.

Any luck, ma'am?

- No sir, and I doubt that the pair of you

have had very much either.

- We were introducing ourselves,

monsieur, may I present Ms. Peabody

of the Select Female Academy of New Orleans.

- Jim Bowie at your service, Ms. Peabody.

- Come along Angelique, I see no reason

for further detaining this young man.

- But what about this small

piece of iron with the hole in it?

- Never mind.

- Just a minute there, ladies,

I don't wish to pry into your personal affairs,

but I do know you're in a hurry.

And I think I can fix your cart,

at least well enough to reach the next town,

with your permission of course.

We could spend all day lookin'

for this nut and never find it.

- Permission granted.

- This girl you're lookin' for, what's she like?

- Oh she's very pretty, she's about oh so tall,

and flaxen hair and blue eyes.

- Hm, it's probably not the same one,

but she by any chance wearin' a blue dress?

- Oh, but of course, the uniform of the academy.

You've seen her, monsieur?

- Control yourself, Ms. Morole.

And just where did you see this alleged girl?

- Outside of Black Horse Tavern,

about eight miles down the road.

- She was in a carriage?

- Yeah.

- With a woman of middle age?

- That's right.

- And a great tall coachman on the box.

- Well, I didn't notice the coachman, mademoiselle,

just the select female.

- Oh.

- This young lady, what happened, an abduction?

- Ah, no monsieur, an elopement.

- Oh.

- Mary Lou is in love with Emile Dousart.

Oh, he's such a charming young man.

- Into the cart at once, mademoiselle.

Thank you again for your generous assistance, sir.

- Don't mention it, Ms. Peabody.

[birds chirping]

- This tavern, monsieur, would it be,

do you think you could show us this tavern?

- Well, I guess I could, yes, but--

- But naturally I would reimburse you for your loss of time.

- No, ma'am, it's not that, it's just that,

you see, in this deal I'm workin' on,

I got a lot of competition, in fact,

if I don't get there on time,

I'm liable to lose out entirely.

You can't miss it ladies,

straight down the road, black horse tavern.

Ask for a boy named Eli.

- Thank you sir, again.

- Yes.

- Au revoir monsieur, I will remember you in my prayers.

- Thank you, mademoiselle.

[men's choir singing]

I hurried again on my way to New Orleans,

tryin' to keep in mind the charms of the lovely Anna Belle,

who'd soon be in my arms at the Opera Ball,

and it was about an hour later

when I noticed something lying on the road.

Ordinarily I'da ridden on, but this time.

The book proved to be missal,

or prayer book that's used to follow religious services.

The inscription on the the flyleaf was in French,

roughly translated, it read,

for my beloved daughter, Angelique, from her loving mother.

[men's choir singing]

- Afternoon, Mr. Bowie, back so soon?

I'm not stayin', Eli, just want some information.

I'm lookin' for two schoolmarms

who stopped by here this afternoon.

- Schoolmarms?

Well, I didn't see any schoolmarms, Mr. Bowie, sir.

- You're lyin', boy.

Now c'mon let's have some truth.

Two ladies in a pony cart, where are they?

- Out by Spanish Creek, I guess.

- Spanish Creek, did you send 'em there?

- Yes sir. - Why?

- Well they was lookin' for a girl

and I figured that's where she is.

- Alright, let's hear it all.

- A friend of mine come here the other night,

and he wanted to know if I knew anybody

that could help him get his girl.

- Get her?

- Yeah, at some place her old man

was keepin' her prisoner in.

- Is your friend named Amile?

- Yeah, yes sir, Amile Dousart, do you know 'em?

- I heard of 'em.

Did he rescue her?

- Well that's what I don't know, Mr. Bowie,

and it's got me kinda scared.

You see, I got these friends from Spanish Creek

to help Amille, but I ain't seen 'em since.

- Alright, Eli.

If you're tellin' me yarns,

you better not be here when I get back, ya understand?

[men's choir singing]

[knocking]

Oh.

- Yes?

- Good afternoon ma'am, I'm lookin'

for the to ladies from the Select Female Academy.

Would you tell 'em that Jim Bowie's waitin'

to see 'em please?

- You must have mistaken the place

monsieur, sorry, good day.

- No I haven't mistaken the place, ma'am,

that's their pony cart back there.

- I must ask you to leave, monsieur.

- Not until I look inside, ma'am.

[men's choir singing]

Well now, look at this, madamoiselle Angelique, Angie.

The door, mademoiselle, it's me Jim Bowie,

the man that fixed your pony cart.

- Monsieur, oh, Mr. Bowie, how wonderful.

You've come to rescue us?

- That was the general idea,

but right now I could use a little rescuin' myself.

You stand back away from the door.

[thudding]

Well now, I'm sorry, that was clumsy of me.

- Oh, my fault really, monsieur, I should not be so curious.

Another of my miserable sins.

- Oh, that's not such a bad sin.

- Oh, do not waste sympathy on me monsieur,

others need it more, Ms. Peabody and Mary Lou.

- She's here, the girl?

- Oui, I saw her but briefly

when we arrived, she and her sweetheart, Amile.

- I that you said this was an elopement,

why are they holdin' you ladies and me?

- It is beyond my comprehending monsieur,

I have a feeling it is even beyond

the comprehending of Mary Lou and Amile.

It has just occurred to me, how is it you are here?

- Oh, I was forgetting, yeah, they took my money,

and my knives, but they didn't take this.

- Mine?

- It's got your name inside, from your mother.

I figured it might be valuable to you.

- It is mine, but where did you find this?

- On the road, just after I left you.

Kinda lucky I was the one to find it, huh?

- Ah, lucky, ah no, no, no, monsieur,

this is not lucky, this is no accident,

this is by the hand of the Bonjour himself.

It is a miracle.

- Well, I wouldn't--

- Ah, no, there's no doubt about it monsieur,

it is totally a miracle.

- What we need now is another one to get us all out of here.

[footsteps]

[thud]

- Oh, how thoughtful of you monsieur,

you may set it here.

[rustling]

Mademoiselle, turn your back.

[thud]

- He asleep, monsieur?

- That's right.

- But when he wakes up he will cry out, no?

- Yeah, I'll rip my shirt.

- Oh, no, no, no monsieur,

not the shirt, you cannot spare it.

- I have to gag him.

- Wait.

Turn your back monsieur.

Monsieur, if this is not sufficient,

I have a further supply.

- This'll be sufficient, thank you Angie.

- What did you call me, monsieur?

- Angie, Angelique's just a little long, don't ya think?

Do you mind?

- No, I like it.

- You can call me Jim.

- Oh, I like that too, Jim.

[men's choir singing]

- For the last time, madame,

take that pen and write what I tell you.

- Do your worst you scoundrel,

you shall not make me a part of this odious plot.

- Fetch the girl.

- Mary Lou.

- Oh, Ms. Peabody, ma'am, I'm so frightened,

- Dry your tears Ms. Carter,

our fate is in the hands of providence.

- Please sit down, Ms. Peabody.

You see that?

- A vulgar exhibition of bad taste.

- It has been there for more than 20 years madame,

indelible, impossible to remove,

tattooed there with ink, forever, with ink like this.

Should I tattoo the message

on the beautiful face of this girl, madame?

Would you prefer the write of national territory?

- Write, Ms. Peabody, you have no choice.

- Write exactly what I say.

My dear Colonel Carter,

if you wish to see your daughter alive,

you will send me the sum of $10,000,

which sum will be delivered by.

[screaming]

[rustling]

[thudding]

- Ms. Peabody!

- Take up a chair Ms. Maroe and smite thine enemies.

As I often say to my young ladies,

there is nothing quite so salubrious

as brisk physical exercise.

- It was fine while it lasted.

- Ah, zut alors, that I should've

come in late and miss the best part, ah.

More self control, Ms. Maroe, if you please.

- Allow me to introduce myself, monsieur.

- I know all about you, Amile, I'm Jim Bowie,

and we better get these fellas tied up

while they're still out cold, get those ropes.

- What are your plans for these criminals, Mr. Bowie?

- Oh, have 'em jailed for abduction, extorsion, and robbery.

- Splendid, and I shall be there to testify against them.

- But will it not be in all the newspapers?

- Naturally, it will be

an object lesson to all other criminals.

- But what will it be to Mary Lou's papa,

oh he will be most angry, not only with her,

but with Ms. Peabody Select Female Academy.

What of the handsome contribution?

- Ahem, on second thought Mr. Bowie,

perhaps it would not be wise to bring these men into court.

Could we not give them

their just deserts in some other fashion?

Let me worry about that ma'am.

There'll be no scandal.

- Thank you, sir.

And there will be no more of that young man,

not while this young lady is in my charge,

what you do later does not concern me,

out with you now and harness the pony to the cart.

- My cape and prayer book, Amile.

- And this time, Ms. Moroe,

you will not let her out of your sight

until we are safely home, hurry along now.

Au revoir, Jim, may the Bonjour bless you always.

- Goodbye, Angie.

[men's choir singing]

- Angie?

Jim?

- Oh, we kinda got acquainted, we were locked up together,

- I do not approve of the use of nick names.

Good day to you, Mr. Bowie.

- G'day, Ms. Peabody.

Once more I hurried on my way

to Annabelle and the opera ball.

After dumping the prisoners on a steamboat

bound for Nash's under the hill.

It must've been just about sundown when I rounded a bend

a few miles out of New Orleans and there.

[men's choir singing]

- Jim, oh, if you but knew how I was

praying for your reappearance.

Is it not so Ms. Carter, did I not ask you to pray also?

Push, ah, there.

- Oh, I do so regret delaying you again, Mr. Bowie,

was there not an urgent matter of business

requiring your presence in New Orleans?

- Well, the fact is, I was takin' a young lady

to the opera ball tonight, but I'm so late now,

I guess she's made other arrangements.

Ms. Peabody, may I remind you,

you still have to get a nut?

- A nut.

- Into the cart Mary Lou, you too, Angelique.

- I'm so sorry, Jim, if there were only

some way I could make it up to you.

- Whoa now, you just said somethin' there, yeah.

Ms. Peabody, I'd like the honor and privilege

of escorting mademoiselle Angelique

to the opera ball tonight.

With your permission of course.

Well, we're both in your debt,

to be sure Mr. Bowie, but I'm afraid--

- Thank you, ma'am, thank you kindly.

[men's choir singing]

- Isn't he just the most divine thing ever?

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a bold adventurin' man ♪