02x03 - Parent's Day/Club Kidney-Ki

[bunniefuu]

Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

[



Bye, mom. Bye, dad.

Thanks for the bana bread.

What's so special about

Parent's day, anyway?

Just a bunch of drooling,

Screaming kids who miss their

Drooling, screaming parents.

Makes me puke.

My parents never came to see me

When I went to camp.

I haven't seen them in 17 years,

And that is fine with me.

Same goes for that dumb dog of

Theirs, too.

Well, got to go. Hee hee!

No more parents till next year.

Hoo, boy. Hoo ha ha!

Lumpus' parents never visit,

Not even on parent's day?

And my mom told me about all



In fact, cousins 40 through 49

All had their wisdom tusks

Pulled in the same weekend.

Ohh, ouch.

Hello, lazlo.

So how was your parent's day?

All right, I guess.

I really enjoyed seeing my

Parents, and everyone else's

Parents are so great, too, but

I'm suddenly not able to enjoy

The moment as much since lumpus'

Parents didn't show up.

Clam, do I have something in

My contact?

Don't you see?

They haven't been there for him.

All this time, he's just been

Covering up a broken heart.

Don't you need a heart in the

First place?

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha! "Heart."

I'm serious, guys.

I really think he's hurt.

His father was probably

Something like this.

"Mm, I'm your father, lumpus.

Do this. Do that.

Rake the leaves. Feed the bears.

Go swimming. Put your pants on.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

Blah, blah."

"Now, now, dear, aren't you

Being too hard on the boy?

After all, we haven't visited

Little lumpy at his little camp

For parent's day ever."

"Blah, blah, blah.

What camp? Who cares?

I'm tired. Eat your sprouts.

♪ Pbbt pbbt pbbt pbbt pbbt

Pbbt pbbt ♪"

[All laugh]

Wait a minute.

Maybe we could help scoutmaster

Lumpus fell better about his

Parents not visiting.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about spending

The whole day with scoutmaster

Lumpus...as his parents.

No, absolutely not.

Oh, come on, raj.

Not doing it.

I am not going to pretend to be

Lumpus' parents, and I am

Definitely not going to help

Find two tall guys in trench

Coats that we can use as

Disguises.

Look what mom and dad brought

Us for parent's day.

[Pbbt]

Ha ha!

Lumpus, you're a genius.

Treating bait to a trip to the

Hairdresser's is just the thing

That'll make those fishies jump.

Oh, look.

I think she's in love.

Yes, I do.

Kissy, kissy, kissy.

Smacky, smacky,

Smoochie, smooch.

Mwah, mwah, mwah mwah mwah.

[Knocks on door]

Mwah.

[Knocking continues]

Oh, for fish's sake, what is it

This time?

Oh, the place is a bedlam.

Hello, lumpy dear.

Don't you recognize us?

It is so nice to see you again.

Hee hee! Ahem.

And all that again.

Uh, I'm sorry. Do I know you?

It's only been 17 years.

Look. We even brought the dog.

Uh, woof.

[Chomp]

Oww!

Oh, yeah.

It's all coming back to me now.

Grr. Hello, mom and dad.

Lumpy, you do rember.

So, uh, you might as well

Come in.

You came all this way.

Could you, uh--

Down, boy.

Boy, time really whacks one

In the face, doesn't it?

Lumpy has invited us in.

I said, "lumpy has invited us

In," chip.

Uh, what? Oh.

Ohh, whoa.

Ohh...waah, oh, oh.

Oof!

Well, this is my office.

Ooh! Skip!

That--that way.

Oh, ha ha! There you are. Ha ha!

Rrgh!

Rrgh!

Heh heh! You were saying?

Woof woof.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

I was just saying--

Is this your office, lumpy,

Dearie?

Uh, yes, yes.

This is where I run the camp.

That's a map of the camp over

There...

[Gasp]

Gee, it's hot in there.

Ooh!

What was that?

Oh, heh heh.

You know how it is with your

Father's gas.

He just had to eat that extra

Burrito in the car on the way

Here.

I specifically asked if you

Were going to eat it.

I mean, good heavens, could

We at least crack a window?

Woof woof.

My flies! Down, boy. Down.

Oh, no, no. Bad doggy.

Stay away from lumpy's bugs.

Grr. They weren't bugs.

They were my prized fishing fly

Collection.

I'm sorry, dearie.

He didn't mean it.

Sorry?

I don't see you for 17 years,

And you're sorry?

Well, we would've been here

Sooner if your father would've

Just stopped and asked for

Directions.

Ok! That's it!

You're the one who just can't

Let me drive without--

Well, I can't help it if you

Just don't listen.

[Both talking at once]

Hold it! Look.

Just tell me, what is it that

You want?

What do we want?

Well, lumpy dear, we just want

To spend the day with you as

Parents.

A day with my parents?

Um, ahem, yes, son.

Catch?

Ow!

Both hands now.

Rrgh!

Keep you eye on the ball.

Aah! Ohh!

Okey-dokey.

Say, "cheese noodles."

Cheese noodles.

[Squeeze toy squeaks]

[Blows]

Oh, yeah!

Candy cane castle, here I come,

Baby!

"And ely welky and moosey

Goosey and dearie wearie lived

Happily ever after.

The end."

[Yawn]

Psst. Come on, already.

Let's go.

I left lumpy dearie a little

Something special.

[Bell rings]

[Rooster crows]

Hmm...

[Yawn]

Wow!

What an amazing night's sleep.

I can't remember the last time I

Slept that well.

Hhm, what's this?

"We heart you, lumpy.

Mom and dad."

Mom and dad heart me.

They really heart me.

"And in further news, if you

Were wondering who were the

Winners of yesterday's parent's

Day relay race, it was mr. And

Mr. And mrs. And mrs.

Lemming..."

They won. They won.

"And guess who else's parents

Showed up at the last minute for

An unexpected, yet much

Appreciated, visit that

Algonquin lumpus will always

Remember because his parents

Told him that they loved him,

And guess who wants to tell

Everybody that he loves

Them, too."

Did you write this?

I love you, too, slinkman.

Uh, anyway, where was i?

"Today's lunch will be"--ooh--

"Mini corn dogs shaped like

Hearts."

And I don't care who knows.

Scoutmaster lumpus loves his

Buddy slinkman.

I love you, slinkman.

Have I told you that?

Uh, yes, sir. You just did.

Tell me you love me,

Slinkman.

Uh, I love you, sir?

Ew!

I love you, campers.

I love you, camp kidney. Whoo!

Doesn't it just give you the

Warm fuzzies?

More like the cold creepies,

Lazlo.

Creepy.

Slinkman, blow up the

Balloons and light the barbeque

Because today is "I love camp

Kidney" day.

Whatever you say, sir.

All right! Yeah! Way to go!

I got it!

I love you, samson.

I love you, too, sir.

Oh!

Ow!

Ooh!

Oh! Ow! Ow!

♪ Love ya ♪

Oww!

Ahh.

There's nothing like having a

Few laughs with the ones you

Love, especially over a good,

Old-fashioned camper dunk.

I, uh--i love having a few

Laughs with--whoa!

I was hoping that "I love

Camp kidney" day would end with

The friendship boulder toss.

Samson, you're up.

I like the old lumpus better.

Do you think we loved him too

Much?

It's scoutmaster lumpus.

I didn't think that could be

Possible.

[Splash]

♪ Raj ♪

I'm coming, scoutmaster

Lumpus.

Maybe he's right.

I love you, raj.

Yeah, yeah. Ditto.

Can we just do this?

[Splash]

Maybe dressing up as lumpus'

Parents and spending the day

Loving him wasn't such a good

Idea.

You did this?

I don't love you, lazlo.

I know.

♪ Lazlo ♪

And how's my favorite camper

Today?

Favorite camper?

Well, of course you're my

Favorite camper.

I thought you knew that.

No. I didn't.

Well, then you must know why

You're my favorite camper.

No!

You're my favorite camper

Because I love ya.

But I love you more.

Excuse me? What was that?

I said, "I love you more."

But that's impossible because

I love you so much.

And I love you so much more

Than that.

Well, I love you more than

Your loving me so much more than

That.

I love you so much more than

Camp kidney.

[Gasp]

Well, I love you so much more

Than camp kidney and all the

Water in leakey lake.

Well, I love you so much more

Than camp kidney, all the water

In leakey lake, and the whole

Town of prickly pines combined.

I love you so much more than

The whole planet.

So much more than the solar

System.

So much more than the

Universe.

Well, I love you so much that

Raj, clam, and I dressed up as

Your parents and spent the day

With you so you wouldn't be so

Sad that they didn't visit you

On parent's day.

[Growl]

You what?

Uh-oh.

Well, you know what I despise

More than camp kidney and the

Entire universe?

I despise you, lazlo!

I despise you, too, lazlo.

It sure is nice to have

Things back to normal around

Here.

Yeah. I really missed

Despising this place.

I despise you, lazlo.

I love you, scoutmaster

Lumpus.

I despise you, lazlo.

I love you, scoutmaster

Lumpus.

I despise you, lazlo.

I love you, scoutmaster

Lumpus.

Go long!

Get in front of the ball, son.

Follow through.

We are--ahem.

We are getting closer to your

Hands.

Both hands now.

Lean forward.

Total lack of hand-eye

Coordination here.

Keep your eye on the ball, right

There.

Fly.

Attention, campers.

Attention, campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

Ahh.

There's nothing like a full day

Of work.

Well, that and reading

Slinkman's personal mail.

Let's see.

"Dear son, blah, blah, blah."

Boring.

"Urgent. Blah, blah, blah."

Hhm, it's the new camp brochure.

"Camp kidney--a busy camper's

Paradise."

Ha! Busy camping for slinkman.

Oh, what's this?

"Mr. Slinkman, revive yourself.

Come to hawaii."

Huh? What's he need hawaii for?

We got everything hawaii has got

Right here in camp kidney.

Edward, no. Wait.

It can't hit the ground.

No, lazlo.

The ball is not in play.

[Pbbbb]

Mr. Slinkman, mr. Slinkman!

Watch me catch the b--

Ugh!

Wait, samson.

Yow!

It's not your turn.

Thanks.

Mr. Slinkman, here's a move I

Learned in denmark.

Next.

Mr. Slinkman, you look terrible.

Let me run some tests on you.

Here's an ink blot.

What do you see?

Oh, camp kidney.

Hmm.

Uh, camp kidney.

Camp kidney.

Interesting.

Look at the eye chart on the

Wall and read the letters from

Top to bottom.

"Camp kidney."

Mm-hmm.

Camp kidney...camp kidney...

Camp kidney...camp kidney...

Mm-hmm.

Sluggish behavior,

Postvolleyball stress, googly

Eyeballs with floppy eye st*lks.

Here.

What is this, slinkman?

A prescription, sir.

A prescription for what?

A mandatory vacation, sir,

Nurse's orders.

I am to leave for hawaii, sir,

Effective immediately.

You'll just have to run camp by

Yourself.

Slinkman! No! Wait!

I'll die here without you!

There's nothing I can do

About it, sir.

Nurse leslie says that all I can

See and all I can hear is camp

Kidney.

Hold on a second there,

Slinkman.

Tell me, what does this look

Like to you?

Camp kidney.

And how about this?

What's this one look like?

Camp kidney.

Rrnt! Wrong answer.

It's hawaii. I agree.

You are one sick slug, and you

Can use a vacation, and I'm

Coming with you.

I'll drive you myself.

But what about camp, sir?

Oh, I just called a temp

Scoutmaster service.

Oh, look. We're already here.

But, sir, this is the camp's

Gate.

My poor slinkman, you're so

Out of it, you can't even read

That sign.

It says, "club kidney-ki," just

Like in the brochure.

Aloha, hawaii. Here we are.

[Alarm clock rings]

Aloha, hawaii.

This--this looks exactly like my

Room at...camp kidney.

Good morning, slinkman.

Ready for a little hula-hula in

Waikiki?

Sir, I think we're still at

Camp kidney.

Nonsense.

Look out the window.

What do you see?

Camp kidney.

Hawaii! Look.

There's the, uh, little grass

Shacks, the bali buffet, and

The, uh, hula commode.

♪ Dee dee dee dee dee dee

Isn't that samson?

That's not samson.

That's mr. Schlomsky.

Aloha, mr. Schlomsky.

I guess I'm mr. Schlomsky

Now.

Heh heh.

I really am sick.

That's why you're here, my

Little mollusk.

Here. Why don't you read the

Activities of the day, huh?

That'll cheer you up.

Um, "swimming..."

A bit louder, slinkman.

I can't hear.

Uh, "swimming..."

Just a bit louder and start

With "today's activities are..."

Oh. Ok.

"Today's activities are

Swimming, sailing, volleyball,

Water-skiing, and snorkeling."

What about surfing, sir?

I don't see surfing here.

I always wanted to try surfing,

Sir.

Oh, yes. Here it is. "Surfing."

Well, let's go, then.

I don't see the point in

Lollygagging.

Did anyone bring a ball?

This is all very strange.

Pardon me, but you look awfully

Familiar.

You wouldn't happen to be

Related to anyone named lazlo,

Would you?

Uh, nope.

Uh, pardon me again.

Just wondering, who's running

This club activity, anyway?

Ha ha ha!

Yeah. That's a good one.

Hee hee! Good one.

Well, I don't mean to be

Pushy, but this is my first

Vacation here in hawaii, and I'd

Like to get started already.

Hawaii?

Hey, yeah. I get it.

We're in hawaii.

I don't know where I'm gonna go

When the volcano blows.

Surf's up.

Outrageous.

Hang loose, brother.

Sir, I don't like it here.

There doesn't seem to be a club

Staff.

Club staff? Oh, yeah.

Hadn't thought of that.

Well, don't let club kidney-ki's

Lousy staff ruin your vacation.

Lead the activities yourself.

Myself?

Now go have some fun.

Your eye st*lks are giving me

Weird tan lines.

Ok, everyone.

From now on, I'll be your

Vacation activities director.

Ha ha!

I like this new game of hawaiian

Vacation.

Ok. You serve first.

[Tweet]

That's right. Good dig.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You guys have the hang of it.

Lunge and dig. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh!

D'oh!

We win.

I used to hate this game back

In camp.

What is next, mr. Director?

Please, let's not be so

Formal.

We're on vacation.

Call me kahuna.

You can call me pineapple

Head.

And I'm tiny bubbles.

Poi. Call me poi.

Fair enough.

Let's hit the water-skiing.

Yeah!

Aloha.

Kick it faster.

This vacation game is swell.

Swells? Yeah.

Watch for swells.

If you're not too careful, they

Can make you airborne.

[Thunder]

I smell toast, hawaiian

Toast.

[Breathing]

See any stripe-bellied

Puffers, kahuna?

I'm afraid the water is too

Murky today.

It all just looks like leakey

Lake to me.

Aloha, kahuna.

What are we waiting for?

The big one, a big wave.

Have you ever burped

Underwater before?

No.

Well, watch this.

I've got a big one coming.

[Belch]

Hey, kahuna, is that big one

Big enough?

Whoo!

sh**t the tube!

I see it.

I finally see it--hawaii.

[Snoring]

That's cold!

Slinkman, what is the meaning of

This?

Just a little vacation

Shenanigans, sir.

I noticed you weren't

Participating with the other

Resort guests.

What?

Oh, right--hawaii.

Well, let me just enjoy the

Sunset.

I'll join you later.

That's great, scoutmaster,

Because we're having a luau.

Luau, right.

[Snoring]

Aloha!

Aah!

Welcome to club kidney-ki's

Luau extravaganza.

We've got vacationers from all

Over.

Hey, tiny bubbles, where you

From?

Latvia.

What exit? Ha ha!

[Rimshot]

And how about you, pineapple

Head?

Actually, I hail from the

Sunny land of--

Riveting.

Great story.

All right.

Look who just woke up from the

Dead.

Algonquin, say, "aloha."

Aloha?

We're gonna see just how

Hawaiian you are.

[All hooting]

Oh, doesn't he look tropical?

Hula boys, bestow the

Traditional lei.

♪ Hookie lau, hookie lau

Chugga chugga pau ♪

We bring gifts from pele,

Goddess of flame

To whiny howly, oh, so lame.

Howly?

First come leis to ease your

Pain.

What pain? Please! No!

No! No!

[Sniffs]

Huh, what's cooking?

Me!

Waa-ha-ha-hah!

Scoutmaster lumpus, you have

Done a great job at getting into

The aloha spirit.

I have?

Yep, but there's one more

Luau tradition that'll put you

Over the top.

What's that?

You need to sing the hula

Pokey.

Come on, scoutmaster.

Blow our minds.

You want me to blow your

Mind?

Because I'll blow your mind.

I lied!

You're not in hawaii.

You're in camp kidney.

There are the cabins.

There is the mess hall, and

There are the stinky latrines.

What do you think of that?

I think it's very sad, sir.

Everything you see and hear is

Camp kidney.

What?

I had the same problem not so

Long ago.

You see--

Shut up!

You, crazy eyes, tell him where

We are.

We're in hawaii.

You see? What? No!

You, big nose, where are we?

Well, to be precise, we are

Actually on h*'okipa beach on

The lovely island of maui.

No! What?

Hawaii, sir.

Hawaii?

This is hawaii?

Sir?

I've been here all along and

Didn't even see it.

Sir?

Hula. Hula-hula...

Sir, perhaps it's best that

We get you back to camp kidney.

This vacation is over.

♪ We do the hula pokey

And we throw the poi around

That's the aloha sound ♪

Go long!

Get in front of the ball, son.

Follow through.

We are--ahem.

We are getting closer to your

Hands.

Both hands now.

Lean forward.

Total lack of hand-eye

Coordination here.

Keep your eye on the ball, right

There.

Fly.