03x01 - The Fun Bucket/The Patrick Show After Dark

[bunniefuu]

- Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad.

[zany music]

This is my mom.
[laughs]

This is my sister. She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

♪ ♪

This is my show!

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

[together]
Happy birthday, Patrick.

- Oh boy.
Oh boy.

Oh boy.

- Here, birthday boy.

[giggles]

- Ohh!

Huh?

[flies buzzing]
- Gotcha.

[laughs]

- Wow.

Thanks, Grandpat!

- Whoa!

- [slurps]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hang on, son.

- Whoa.

- Don't spoil your appetite.

- We're taking you out for
a special birthday lunch.

Where would you like to go?

- Uh.

- Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

- Hey, where should
we go to lunch?

- Uh.
- Uh.

[alarm blaring]

- Live, son!

[grunts] Live!

- [gasps]

What were we talking about?

[upbeat music]

[together]
Huh?

- ♪ Fun Bucket,
buckets of fun ♪

♪ With games you can play
and tons of pizzay ♪

♪ Fun Bucket, buckets of fun ♪

♪ With a cool robot band
that will sing you ♪

- Happy birthday.

- ♪ Come on, kids,
you wanna have fun? ♪

♪ Fun Bucket,
it's buckets of fun ♪

- Ooh.

I wanna go to the Fun Bucket!

[groans]

- Slow down there,
eager beaver.

Let's just take the car.

- [groans]

- Stupid,
lousy health inspector.

[grunts]
Thinks he can just fine me.

I'll show him
F-grade food products.

Next time he comes in here, he
can inspect this k*ller robot.

[cackles]

- Good plan.

But have you considered
just paying the fine?

- First off, we're broke.

Second, I don't want to let the
inspector think I'm a pushover.

Give me that remote.

Now, my creation, live!

Wah! Gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah!

[loud expl*si*n]

[wind whistling]

[engine revs]

[all groaning]

- Here it is, the Fun Bucket.

- Dad, I don't think--

- Great idea.

It's Patrick's birthday.

Let's all not think.

Less think, more birthday.

[together]
Whoa!

[fly buzzing]

- We have the whole
place to ourselves.

[chuckles]

- Who let you people in?

You need to get--

- Oh, hello.

We're here for Patrick's
birthday lunch.

- I don't care if you're here
to do the Watusi, get out!

- Uh.

- Gee, maybe I wrote
down the wrong address.

I have that paper
around here somewhere.

[cash register dings]

Huh, can't find it.

- I can't find it either.

- Me neither.

- Nope.

- Just more of
Patrick's birthday cash.

- All right, enough.

Pick up all of your
stupid money and get out.

I have stuff to do.

- Huh?

Plankton, the fine
from the health department.

- I know, I'm sending them home
so I can work on the robot.

- [sighs]
You throw them a party.

They pay you.

You pay the inspector.

- Oh.

Wait!

Uh, heh, uh...gotcha.

What I said earlier
was, uh, all a joke.

Yeah.

All part of the-- what did
you call this place again?

- The Fun Bucket.

- Yes, all part
of the Fun Bucket fun.

- [laughs]
That was fun.

[laughter]

- Yes, sir.

[giggles]
Karen, I'm a genius.

- Uh-huh.

- Waiter.

- What do you want?

- This bucket isn't very fun.

There are no decorations,
party hats, video games,

regular games, pizza,

breadsticks, dipping sauce
for the breadsticks.

- Yeah, all right.

I'll be right back
with your party.

- Yippie.

- [groans]

Garland,
garland, party hats.

- Mine smells dead.

- [grunts]
Video game.

- [sighs]
Press start to play.

Boop, beep, boop,
boop, beep, beep.

[all groaning]

[electronic beeping]

- I win.

- Eh, this game's for babies.

I gotta find
the grown-up games.

Ooh.

Perfect.

[spooky music]

- Whoo.

[chuckles]
Hey, guys.

There's more games
and rides in here.

[laughter]

- Stop!

My equipment!

- What's this thing?

- Do not touch--

[screaming, electric zapping]
- Whee!

- Put that down!

[beams pulsing, screaming]

Unhand that!

[expl*si*n, screaming]

Whoa!

- I hooked a prize!

- Oh no.

Oh, that's disgusting.

[groans]

- This claw game is broken.

[grunts]

[electric zapping, expl*si*n]

- [grunts]

[groans]

My lab.

[together]
We want pizza. We want pizza.

- Yeah, yeah, all right.

- We want--

- Chum, did you say?

It's edible,
high in fiber, and--

[glass shattering]

--aromatic.

- Pizza.

- I'll give you
a piece-o'-my-mind.

[ray zapping]

And a piece of your mind
too while I'm at it.

- Little more.

That's good.

- Voila, you happy now?

One slice of pizza.

Chew on this.

both: Eww.

- You're welcome.

[all groaning]

- Gross.

- I think I'm going to be--

participating in a food fight?

Coming back at ya.

- [exclaims]

Take this.

[screams]

- Hit the deck!

- Stop it or I'll destroy you!

[groans]

That really is awful.

[grunts]

- Now it's time
for my birthday song.

- Eh, fine.

♪ Happy birthday to pinhead ♪

- Wait!

Where's the robot band?

The commercial
has a robot band.

- [growls]
OK, you want a robot?

- Yuh-huh.

- I'll show you a robot.

[sinister music]

[cackles]

Now, my construct
of unadulterated destruction,

I command you--

[buzzer blares]

- Plankton.

- Oh, uh, I command you
to play birthday music.

- 1, 2, 1, 2, 3.

- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To this pink loser ♪

Uh-oh.

[guitar clangs]

- Yay.

- [grumbles] Stupid robot.

[button beeps]

[loud expl*si*n]

- Ooh, fireworks.

[beam zapping]

- [grunts]

- OK, Patrick.

Now make a birthday wish.

- [slobbering]

- That's enough!

I have had it with your games!

Your-- ew.

What's this frosting
made of anyway?

- Toxic waste.

- [groans]
I'm mutating.

[grumbles]

- Just pay and get out.

- Ah, would you look at that.

I'm fresh out.

Gave all my money to Grandpat
to use in your casino.

- What casino?

[jazzy music]

- [chuckles]
It's payday, come to papa.

Big money, big money.

Ohh.

Frog biscuits.

- Well, that was a treat.

Just put it on our tab
and we'll be on our way.

[gate clanking]

- Oh, you're not
going anywhere.

The only way you freeloaders

are going to pay off your tab
is to, uh--

[bright twinkle]

-- steal the
Krabby Patty secret formula.

- Hmm.

OK, here's what we're gonna do.

[all whispering]

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

- Who's a good money?

You are.

Yes, you are.

- Do you have the combination?

- Money, money, money, money,
money, money.

Money, money, money, money,
money, money.

Money, money, money,
money, money, money.

♪ ♪

- Got it.

- It's mine.

[laughs]

Mwah! Mwah!

This formula
is worth a million dollars.

- A million dollars?

- What?

- How convenient.

Your health department
fine is $999,999.99.

That leaves you
with 1 cent as your change.

- Terrific.

[groans]

- Gotcha.

[chuckles]

Oh, almost forgot
the processing fee.

Yoink.

[chuckles]

- [groans]

- Phooey.

Looks like I'm fresh out.

[upbeat jazzy music]

Lady Luck shines on me again.

Here we go.

[giggles] Big money!

Big money!

[water gushing]

- [groans]
Jackpot.

[groans]

- We've waited
hours for nighttime,

and it's finally here.

And now I'm going to share
something very, very special

with all of you.

k*ll the lights.

[lamp shattering]

OK, ready, folks?

Here we go.

[uplifting music]

My new yo-yo glows in the dark.

Pretty neat, huh?

- Ooh, how enchanting.

- Well, thanks for
staying up late everybody.

See you next time.

- What?

No.

You can't yo-yo then go-go.

I need more show-show.

- Sorry, Slappy.

It's past my bedtime.

- It's also
the perfect time

for the Patrick Show
"After Dark."

- After dark?

- After dark.

- You know,
that's not a bad idea.

Crossing into a
later time slot would

bring in a whole new audience.

Don't you think so, Patrick?

- [snoring]

Time for a wake-up call.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

[coffee pot shattering]

[jellyfish buzzing]

[electric zapping]
- I'm up!

I'm up!

[zapping, screaming]

[barks]

Eee! Oh! Oh! Ahh!

Ohh.

- So are we feeling
more awake now?

[dramatic music]

Fantastic.

You're watching "The Patrick
Show: After Dark."

- Ah, fiddlesticks.

- OK, it's past midnight.

Mom and Dad
are in the kitchen arguing.

- Ooh, juicy.

- Oh, this is bad.

I was just barely
scraping by, and now this.

- Sounds like money problems.

- It may seem unfair,
but it is your obligation.

- Just tell me
what the damages are.

- Oh, you better
brace yourself.

You owe $16,000.

- $16,000!

- Whoa.
That's a lot.

Wait.

Is that a lot?

- I-- I--

I don't have that
kind of money.

[sobs]
It's game over.

I'm bankrupt, Bunny.

- Oh, isn't that a shame?

[snickers, laughs]
Too bad you had to go

and land on the
Mariana Trench where

I built two luxury condos.

Whoop! Whoop!
I win in "Propertyopoly" again.

Now let's settle that $16,000
with 16,000 smooch-a-roonies.

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

- Hey, I guess losing
ain't so bad after all.

- [groans, screams]

Let's get outta here.

- Eww!

Looks like Grandpat
is still up.

Let's check in on him.

- [groans]
Time to get ready for bed.

Yep, yep, yep.

[both chuckling]

- [groans]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

both: Huh?

- [groans]
There.

See you tomorrow, fellas.

- We shouldn't be seeing this.

- Oh, almost forgot.

[groans]
My liver.

both: Eww.

- And now for a dab
of moisturizer.

[grunts]

Ahh, sweet, sassy, sea molassy.

I'm gonna sleep
like a baby tonight.

[grunts]

both: Ahh!

- Anyway, there's probably
some less-horrific stuff

happening out here.

- Yeah, let's look around.

both: Ah-heh! Ahh! Ahh!

- Ouchie and Pink-Eye?

- Two mortal enemies
playing together?

[laughter]

I think we just got
our next segment.

Come on.

both: Ahh! Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha!
Hoo-hoo!

- The pet shop
is an afterhours club?

[dance music]

- All right,
let's go check it out.

- Two please.

Pets only.

Ohh.

- Come on, I have an idea.

[cans rattling]

- Two please.

Uh, I mean, meow.

♪ ♪

- OK, just act natural and they
won't even know we're here.

- Got it.

♪ ♪

Whoa!

Worms, snails,
clams all partying together?

- What a story.

- This place is so cool.

[record needle skips]

- [meows]

- Heh?

- [growling]
- Oops.

- Our cover is blown.

Let's scram.

both: Heh-heh.

[screaming]

- Huh? Huh?

[speaking gibberish]

- [speaking gibberish]

- Uh-huh.

[speaking gibberish]

[grunting]

[cackling]

[all cackling]

- So where to now, Patrick?

- Huh, what about that thing?

- Huh?

[rattling at door]
Ahh!

[lighthearted music]

Whoa!

- This place has
a rodent problem.

- Oh, hi, Patrick.

- Hi, Sandy.

We're making late-night TV.

Can we see what you're up to?

- You sure can.

- Huh? Hmm.

Sandy, what are you staring
at this big gray rock for?

- I'm studying the Moon
for science.

- Science is boring.

What you need is drama.

Now,
let's see what we can find.

[alarm blaring]

[crashes, screaming]

- Priscilla, will you marry--

[crashing]

- What's going on?

Anything juicy?

Eh, whatever.

- [cackles]

- Oh, a fight.

[screaming]

Can I watch?

Come on,
you gonna hit him or what?

Do it.

Do it.

You're boring.

Where's all
the cool stuff happening?

Hey, hey, hey,
hey, wait a minute.

Finally,
something worth looking at.

[chuckling]

- Meep.

- [chuckling]

Yeah.

- OK, Patrick.

That's enough.

- No, wait.

I've gotta see how it ends.

[both grunting]

Sandy, wait.

I think I discovered
a pink moon.

Oh.

- Get out!

Hi-ya!

both: Ahh!

Oof!

- I think we've made
some quality TV tonight.

Don't you, Patrick?

- Yes, I Patrick.

- We just missed so much good
content when we go to bed,

you know?

- Yeah, with enough
jellyfish for my pants,

I bet we wouldn't miss a thing.

- I'll call my jellyfish
guy first thing tomorrow.

- You have a jellyfish guy?

- Who doesn't?

[loud rumbling]

both: Huh?

[gloomy music]

[all growling]

- The pets from the nightclub?

- What is this?

A coup d'etat?

- No, thanks.

I already ate.

- Gary?
- Gary?

- Gary?

- SpongeBob?

- Oh.

[chuckles]
Hi.

How's it going?

[both growling, hissing]

- [speaking gibberish]

- What's he saying?

[all grunting]

- Meow.

- Oh,
Gary wants me to translate.

- [speaking gibberish]

- Too long have we pets been
at your beck

and call,
subjugated to the will of those

who call themselves master.

Master by whose merit?

In whose eyes?

Lesser never and no more.

We pets shall rise.

[inspirational music]

- [panting]

♪ ♪

[all panting]

[cans opening]

all: Ahh! Ooh-ooh-ooh!

- Well, I guess the revolution
will not be televised.

[both groaning]

We're home.

[upbeat bouncy music]

♪ ♪

- Good night, Patrick.

Sweet dreams.

- Good night, Squidina.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

[alarm rings]

- Up and at 'em, Patrick.

Time to start filming
the next episode.

- [groans]

- That's show business.

[grunts]