02x48 - Porky and Thes

[bunniefuu]

Oh, I got grape juice
on my silky jacket.

Oh, hello,
I didn't see you there.

Welcome to another episode
of Elmer Fudd's
Literwawy Cwassics.

I'm your host, Elmer Fudd.

[LAUGHING]

Today's folk tale was
considered by many to be

the greatest love story
of all time.

It's actually
the second greatest.

The greatest love story is
between me and my wava lamp.

Oh, I love you wava lamp.

Look at your colorful bubbles
floating up and down.

No, the love story
I'm talking about

starts here in the jungle.

and it concerns two boys
who fell for the same girl.

The first boy was the greedy
king of the jungle, King Thes.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ What a great party
What a great feast

♪ Everybody worshiping
And loving this beast

♪ I got all these great gifts
Just for being King

♪ If I want it, its mine
I've got every single thing ♪

ELMER: The other boy was
King Thes' pwo wowey servant

the good-natured Porky Pig.

♪ What a great party
So many great friends

♪ But, now it's time
To work now that the fun
Has reached its end

♪ This place
Won't clean itself

♪ it's not right
To leave a mess ♪

♪ I'm sorry I don't clean

♪ have you forgotten
I'm King Thes ♪

♪ 'Cause if we ever
Have this place to be clean

♪ We gotta pick up what's left

♪ So, let's clean up

♪ I really cleaned up

♪ We gotta clean up this trash

♪ Pick up everything

♪ I clean up with this loot

♪ Because I am the King

[BOTH SINGING]
♪ We both clean up

♪ Tonight

[DRUM ROLL]

ELMER: The King
and his servant

couldn't agree on anything.
[LIGHT TURNS ON]

That is, until she walked in.

ELMER: [LAUGHING]

[GASPS]

Ooh!

[GULPS] Ah!

♪ I'm just cleaning up

♪ Just cleaning up

♪ And in walks the most
beautiful [STAMMERS] girl

♪ The most beautiful girl

♪ In this part
Of the [STAMMERS] world

♪ I just cleaned up
Got all the stuff I want

♪ When who walks up

♪ But the most beautiful girl

♪ The most beautiful girl

♪ In my

♪ Part of the world ♪

ELMER: Dazzled by her
delectable demeanor

the two immediately

began competing
for her affection.

-♪ I think you--
-♪ Dropped this

♪ It dropped
On this guy's face

♪ And I picked it up
And gave it to you

[BOTH SINGING]
♪ Would you like
To go out with me?

BOTH: You?

♪ You're just
A pig who's broke

♪ Your possessions are a joke

♪ You don't have
Anything to offer

♪ There's only air
Inside your coffer

♪ You're just
A king who's mean

♪ Your gold's not worth

♪ If you're selfish,
Cold and rude

♪ Never in a happy mood

[BOTH SINGING]
♪ You'll treat her poorly

♪ And that's for sure

♪ She deserves more

♪ More than the poor life

♪ You're ensuring she adores

♪ It seems to me

♪ We both agree
To what this lovely lady needs

♪ Me, me

♪ Me!

♪ Yes, I will go out with you

♪ Both of you

♪ I'll give
Both of you a chance

♪ Forest, you'll find romance

♪ One date in the morning

♪ Another in the afternoon

♪ And then I'll make my choice

♪ By the warm light
Of the moon

♪ Sorry to say this
And ruin your life

♪ But, by the end of the day
That girl will be my wife

♪ It's I who must apologize
To you, my King

♪ But, by the end of the day
She will be wearing my ring

♪ Tess will be mine

♪ Tess will be mine
Wait I thought
Her name was Beth

- ♪ It is Beth
-[STAMMERS] Beth?

- ♪ Beth
-♪ Are we both saying
The same thing here, Beth?

♪ Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth!

♪ My name is Petunia

♪ Oh so I was kinda right

♪ See you tomorrow

♪ And I'll see you
later tomorrow

♪ I hope you like losing

♪ 'Cause that's what
You're gonna do

♪ You're gonna lose her
Like you losing, losing loser

[GRUNTING]

♪ Um, can you help me
With this? ♪

[FLUSHING]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

And so it was set.

Petunia would go on a date

with both, King Thes and Porky
so each would have a chance

to show her why they were
deserving of her wove.

It's not unlike the day
I saw my wava lamp

at the store for only $14.95.

You were on sale, weren't you,
you wovely wava lamp.

Anyway, Petunia would go out
with King Thes in the morning

Porky in the afternoon

and give her answer at night,

which is when my wava lamp
shines brightest.

♪ It's a lovely day

♪ Made even more beautiful
Because of you

♪ And the beauty you cast

♪ Upon me

It is a lovely day.

♪ Autumn time

♪ Such good, crisp weather

-♪ Don't need a jacket
-♪ And so we got a sweater ♪

♪ The moon is high

♪ And the pumpkins
are ripening ♪

♪ Sometimes I find scarecrows

♪ Frightening ♪

♪ I must say
I'm very surprised

♪ Of how sweet
You're being to me

♪ Telling me I look lovely ♪

♪ Oh that
I was talking
To the gold coins

♪ But, if you marry me
You too will have

♪ All the lovely gold coins
You could imagine

♪ We could travel the world

♪ Have adventures
You've only dreamed of

♪ I am King
And you could be my Queen

♪ Can Porky offer you
Anything this alluring? ♪

KING THES: [GRUNTS]
I'm [STAMMERS] so sorry.

♪ Isn't it time
For our date? ♪

♪ I guess Porky can
Give you something ♪

A mud bath.

♪You should clean yourself up
You look terrible ♪

Can you help me with this?

ELMER: Petunia was entwanced
by the king.

Can you blame her?
He's rich for crying out loud.

Poor Porky had his work
cut out for him.

♪ It's a lovely day

♪ With a lovely lady ♪

♪ It's lovely
To be treated so lovely

♪ By such a lovely guy

♪ Thes can be so mean

- ♪ Selfish and petty ♪
-♪ So, not lovely

♪ Then why do you choose
To date him? ♪

♪ He is the King after all

♪ His life has
So much opportunity

♪ I could grow
Accustomed to that life ♪

♪ I could make a good life
For you too

♪ It wouldn't be a rich life

[BOTH SINGING]
♪ But, it would be
A lovely life

♪ Lovely ♪

♪ Lovely ♪

♪ It would be lovely ♪

ELMER: The two were
getting along swimmingly.

But, before Porky had
a chance to tell Petunia
how he felt

The jealous king appeared
and ruined their wove fest.

♪ The date is coming to an end

♪ Day is turning into night

♪ And I'm not giving up
My lady without a fight

♪ I challenge you

♪ Why would you
Want him anyway?

♪ I've got everything
And this guy's got nothing

♪ I've got money
I've got riches

♪ Which is weight
On my br idges

♪ I've got silver
I've got gold

♪ I store silver
In my gold boats

♪ I've cars could take you far

♪ And arms to hold you near

♪ But, this guy
Ain't got nothing

♪ And that is oh so clear ♪

I also actually have crystals.

♪ It's true I don't have money

♪ I'm not handsome, smart
Or funny

♪ I don't have cars
Or planes or, boats
Or a castle with a moat

♪ There's not
A single thing I own
That I could recite

♪ And yet I have amassed
All the finer things in life

♪ I have moonlight
I have kindness

♪ I have sunshine
get the gist?

-♪And I also have a mouth
-♪And you also have a mouth

BOTH:
♪ That's filled with
King Thes' fist ♪

♪ Then I guess it looks like
This row boat is

- ♪ For me
-♪ Hey, that's my boat ♪

♪ I need some time to think

♪ I'll see you later tonight

♪ With my decision ♪

ELMER: The two had no idea
who she would choose

They swan ashore
to await their fate.

♪ I've made my choice
It's time you know

♪ The one with which my heart

♪ Will go ♪

♪ Petunia's my gal, not yours

♪ I own her dress, her back
Her shoes her pearls

♪ She will be my wife

♪ Legally bound

♪ You knew it from the start ♪

♪ You may own all those things
Around her

♪ But, it's
I who own her heart

♪ Petunia's my gal, it's true

♪ She likes that I am
Kind of sweet
And most of all not you

♪ In me she's found
A mate for life

♪ Despite your riches
That are so big

♪ You may be
King of the Jungle

♪ But, she left you
For a [STAMMERS] pig ♪

♪ So, it's me, right?

-♪ No, I'm sure it's me
-♪ Me ♪

-♪ Me ♪
- PETUNIA: Me!

I choose me!

BOTH: Huh?

♪ I mean, look at you two

♪ This isn't about me anymore

♪ It's just about you
And your silly competition

♪ I don't need either of you

♪ And neither of you
Are worthy of me

♪ I'm better off on my own

-♪ I will take this though ♪
-[COINS ch*nk]

[SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ I guess we lost sight
Of what mattered the most

♪ We were wrapped up
In all of our strife

♪ So, now we have lost

♪ The most important thing
In life ♪

Gold?
No.

Hmm.
[STAMMERS] ♪ Love ♪

Love of gold?

I'm just joking.

♪ 'Cause if we ever
Wanna find true love

♪ We must clean up our act

[BOTH SINGING]
♪Let's clean up

♪ Let's get cleaned up

♪ We need to clean up
Our fronts

♪ And clean up our backs

♪ And also clean up
Both of our acts

♪ Let's clean up

♪ Our acts ♪

You first.
[STAMMERS] No, you.

Yeah, no, you.

Well, it looks like no one
got the girl at the end.

Or, did they?

Ready to go cutie?

Listen, you can only date
a wava lamp for so long.

[LAUGHS]