02x34 - Canadian Bacon/Bugs Bunny Saves the Universe

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

PORKY: [STRAINING]
You go, I go.

I'm not gonna leave ya,

potato chip.

[GROANS]

Got it! Five second rule...
Eenie, meenie, my, huff!

[SHOUTS] Mounty Porky!

[WHISPERS]
I mean, Mounty Porky...

I have a task for you.

There is a comically
precarious snowball
on that mountain.

I need you to evacuate
all the townspeople

and get them
far from the threat

of being snow-balled.

[STUTTERING] Yes, sir.

[WHISPERS]
But why are we whispering?

Because you numbcrut,

a sound too big can cause
the snow ball to topple.

Wow...

[GRUNTS]

Better not risk it.

Let's just leave it there
to get soggy.

Now get to it.

[STUTTERING]
Get on out of here.

We'll let you know
when it's safe to come back.

All right. Just one more
house to evacuate.

[READS]

Guess they already left.

[WHISTLING]

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Duck.

[WHISPERS] I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.

Watch it, bub.
You're on thin ice.

I'm sorry, but we have to
evacuate in case
of an avalanche.

Thin ice.

Oh? I see...

[SCREAMS]

[BLABBERING]

Aye. Tourist.

Hey! I got one!

Oh, great!
Another bottom-feeder.

[SCREAMS]

Hang tight, pal.
I'll fix you up.

Check it out, kids.
It's our former president,

Rutherford B. Hayes.

Mr. President.

[GROANS]
Now listen here, Duck.

I'm gonna...

[RUMBLING]

[GULPS]

[WHISPERING]
As I was saying...

I'm gonna give you
one last...

Oh, hello there.

Mr. Duck, [STAMMERS]
you need to
stop the snow mobile.

- What?
- The snow mobile is too loud.

What about the cloud?

The noise
will start an avalanche.

You wanna date
my Aunt Blanche?

Okay, let me give her a call.

What? No!

-[KEYPAD BEEPS]
- Hello.

Aunt Blanche? How would you
like to go out
with a real pig?

Can't you see
that all this noise

will k*ll... Destroy us all?

Do you mind?

I'm on the phone.

Sorry about that,
Aunt Blanche.

What's that?
You know what?

I can't hear you.

- Hold on. Let me
turn off the snow mobile.
-[ENGINE STOPS]

[PORKY SCREAMS]

-[GROANS]
-[ENGINE ROARS]

Good news!
Aunt Blanche is in.

You got a date, Friday night.

Hope you like
broccoli casserole
and flatulence.

In that order.

[SHOUTING]
Never mind the date.

[RUMBLING]

Phew! [WHISPERS]
Never mind the date.

We have to get you
out of here.

Hold on, bub.
I am not leaving here

without my earthly
possessions.

This will just take a second.

[VOCALIZES]

All right.
Just the essentials.

Or what's left inside.

Come on, Ducky, we're gonna be
buried any moment now.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, she definitely
wore it better.

- Daffy!
- Yes?

Oh, right. Avalanche.

DAFFY: [SING-SONG]
Packing. Packing.

That better be it.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Not counting the china hutch
and stackable washer-dryer.

Whoo-hoo!

[PORKY GROANS]
That's it!

-[DRUMS PLAYING]
- Get your...

I didn't practice yet today.

Just got to get it in quick.

Repetition is the key
to mastery.

[RUMBLING]

[WHIMPERING]

Oh, don't worry.
I know how to solve this.

[CHUCKLES]

That ought to keep
that mean, old avalanche out.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

And you said
it was gonna be a disaster.

This avalanche is the best!

[SCREAMING]
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Don't worry, Mr. Duck.
I'll save ya.

[SCREAMS]

Where you go.
I go.

[EXCLAIMS]

We're headed for...
[STAMMERS]

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

A cliff?

Yeah, yes!

I hope this works.

DAFFY: Again!

For his bravery and courage

in the face
of impending disaster,

I am pleased to present
Mounty Porky,

with the medal of valor.

Uh, would you care
to share with us

some thoughts
regarding your

harrowing experience?

[CLEARING THROAT]

[DRUMS PLAYING]

Daffy! You'll start
another avalan...

[RUMBLING]

Phew! I thought you were
all gonna catch that drift.

If you're catching my drift.

-[CHUCKLES]
- Oh, snow he didn't.

[RIMSHOT]

That's snow business.

light years
from the planet Earth,

lived a simple, young
sand farmer,

named Bugs Sandraker.

Boy, the sand
is really ripe this year.

Mmm. [SPITS]

How do people
eat this stuff?

NARRATOR:
Bugs lived a simple life

till one day...

What the heck was...

Oh, a soccer ball.

[ELECTRONIC VOICE]
Hey, stop that. I'm not
a soccer ball, I'm a robot.

What's the deal,
little soccer bot?

I'm running from the most evil
bad guy in the universe.

They're trying to capture me,
because I have the plans

to destroy
the floating ball of doom.

What's the floating ball
of doom?

This is your
galactic overlord,
Dank Diaper.

Give me the robot
or be blown to smithereens.

Hey, you can't go around
blasting people
to smithereens.

I stand corrected.

DANK DIAPER:
Send out the typewriters.

[RAPID FIRING]

Don't move, by order of the...

SWAN LOCO:
Get in. No time to explain.

- Uh... Huh?
-[TRILLS]

Lady!

Hello, lady.

Just keeping my breath
minty fresh.

Don't mind him. That's just
my big hairy co-pilot, Footy.

Gee! Thanks for saving us,
Mr...

Loco. Swan Loco.

Renegade space pilot
of the Centennial Pigeon.

And I love this soccer ball.

I'm not a soccer ball
I'm a robot.

With plans to destroy
the dreaded ball of...

BUGS: To destroy
the floating ball of doom,

press the
self-destruct button.

I know you risked your life
and all, but that seems
pretty obvious.

So where is
the self-destruct button?

- Shake him.
- Ask again later.

Shake him again!

BUGS:
It's in the center, you dope.

- Oh, a fat lot of good
that does us.
-[CRASHES]

Anyone who tries to get
inside that floating
ball of doom

has got a screw loose.

MAN: I have a screw loose.

I'm Elmer Prawn and Goby.

They call me that,
because I carry around

- this prawn and this goby.
- SWAN LOCO: Wait a minute!

I know you!
You're that old cuckoo

who lives in the station wagon
under the highway.

I may be an old kook,
but this old kook
is also a Gemini.

Oh! I'm a Pisces.

No, the Gemini were an ancient
society of warriors

sworn to protect the galaxy.

Eh... Listen, bub.

I don't believe in
all that Gemini stuff.

It's just a lot of
hocus-pocus.

I stand corrected.

If you wanna destroy
the floating ball of doom
for good,

- you'll need to learn
how to use this.
-[SWAN LOCO SCREAMS]

Uh, what is it?

It's called a flash blade.

- It's a Gemini's weapon.
- Whoa!

It's got a light touch.

Now, quick!
Chop up these berries.

Slice this cantaloupe.

Cut this watermelon in half.

- Hi-ya!
- Stop!

- You've done it!
- What?

I'm finished?
I'm a Gemini?

No. You made me a fruit salad.

Mmm.
May the fruit be with you.

To the floating ball of doom!

BUGS: There it is.
The floating ball of doom.

To make sure
they don't see us,

I'll activate
the cloaking device.

Now, they'll never
see us coming.

Unless you crash into it.

We've gotta find
the self-destruct button.

Bugs, wait. You can
only find the button
by trusting your feelings.

Or I could
just follow the signs.

Well, that works too.

A-ha!

I found you,
you miserable little planet.

You thought you could
get away from Dank Diaper,
did you?

What if I use my
boom-boom laser?

[IMITATES sh**ting]

[BLOWS]
Bye-bye, puny little planet.

[WHISPERING] There it is.

Hey! What do you
think you're doing?

Just polishing
the self-destruct button.

-[BLOWS]
-[CLOTH SQUEAKS]

Carry on then.
Wait a minute.

I polished that last week.

En garde.

May the fruit be with you.

- Will you get out of here!
- Fruit yourself.

- Whoops!
- Well, that takes care
of one thing.

[GROANS]

Hold still.

I seem to be having trouble
beating you.

Maybe you'd have better luck
if your sword was bigger.

Use the enlarger button.
It's right here.

Heavens to Megatroyd!

DANK DIAPER:
I can't control it.

It's too heavy.

Hey, Dank Diaper,
I'm up here.

My boom-boom laser.

Now I'm over here.

Why, you...

Oh... Now I've done it.

[SCREAMS]

Come on, guys.
This place is gonna blow.

BUGS: Loco! Your co-pilot
is still out there.

SWAN LOCO: Oh,
let's leave him.
ELMER: Then who is gonna

clean the toilet?

I didn't know it was broken.
That's why I used it.

- I had a fruit salad.
- SWAN LOCO: It's your
lucky day.

Hey! Get back here.

Oh... At least
I still have my...

...ship.

Well, fellas,
we saved the universe.

So what do we do now?

Every good saga,
ends with a game of soccer.

Ow, ow! Stop.
I've got sand in my eye.

There's nothing
more painful...

[DISTORTED VOICE]
I stand corrected.

Well, game over, fellas.
Dinner at my house.

- All the sands
you can eat.
- ALL: Yay!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]