02x28 - Rhoda Rage/Good Duck to You, Cirque

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Wow, we spend all this time
getting out of cages,

and these gals
want to get into them.

Oh! I'm done for!

Right in the kidneys!

Is this the end
of Rhoda Roundhouse's career?

Psych!

[WHIMPERS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Oh, yeah!

Another victory
for Rhoda Roundhouse!

Hey! Wait a minute!

That little p*stol's cheating!

Who's the undisputed champion,
going on four years?

[EXCLAIMS]
Rhoda Roundhouse, that's who!

Anyone else here have the guts
to step into the ring

and challenge me?

Boo! Boo!

Roundhouse is a dirty cheat!

Boo! This match stinks...
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

[SIGHS] Hello.

Oh! So you think
you can handle the Roundhouse?

Normally, yes,

but, you see,
my back has been bothering me,

and I've been meaning
to go to the chiropractor...

[JOINTS CRACKING]

[SCREAMS] That's better.

[GRUNTS]

Okay, that's enough.

Huh?

You wouldn't hit a girl,
would you?

What? I'd never hit a girl!

My momma would be
ashamed of me! [GRUNTS]

Bam, baby! Rhoda rage!

Okay. What Momma don't know
won't hurt her.

WOMAN: Go kick her butt, son!

Thanks, Ma!

Thank you! Thank you!

Rhoda rage, baby! [LAUGHS]

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

All right, Roundhouse,
you've been cheating.

Rhoda's gotta rage.

Well, not this next fight.
Here are the rules.

- No eye-poking.
- Argh!

- No elbow-spikes.
- Ow!

No biting.

[SCREAMING]

Okay, that seems fair.

And I assume
there's no tickling.

[LAUGHING]

- No wet-willies.
- Ugh!

- And no noogies.
-[GROANING]

Nope. No cheek-pulling.
No nose-tweaking.

No undie-grundies.

Huh? I can't see,

but I can smell
something awful!

No shin-kicking!

Ow! Oh, oh, oh!

That's correct. All that,
and no wristie-twisties.

[SCREAMING]

And this! None of those!
Or those! Or this!

Only on Tuesdays! Not that!

-[YELPING]
- That's a nope! This! That!

[EXCLAIMING]

- What, where, when and why!
-[SCREAMS]

Good to know.

You're out!

Wait! The bell didn't ring!

One bell, coming up!

[CLANGING]

[ROARING]

Hey, what's the Wi-Fi
password here?

Uh, firedup218.

Oh, all one word.

-[GROANS]
- What are you...

Just checking up
on a package I ordered.

Should be arriving...

-[BOX THUDS]
- Now!

Do you mind?

Oh, man, this is perfect!

What is it?

Nah, it's really
not that interesting.

Oh, come on. Let me see.

Please?

Nah, you're building it up
too much.

You're going
to think it's silly.

No, no. I won't. I promise.

Well, I suppose...

[GRUNTS]

[STRUGGLING]

I don't know
where the octopus came from,

but I think
he's in the wrong section.

Roundhouse attacks
a right to the octopus,

but it's too quick for her.

She gives herself a right!
And a left!

She keeps hitting herself!
Now, she's kicking herself!

Stop hitting yourself left!
Stop hitting yourself right!

Stop hitting yourself!
Stop hitting yourself!

Say uncle! Say uncle!

-[BELL RINGS]
- And the octopus wins!

That's it! It's time
for Rhoda to rally!

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

This Rhoda's
under destruction!

[ROBOT STOMPING]

Oh, yeah! Rhoda rage, baby!

I better do something,
or Rhoda's gonna wreck me!

Hmm. In case of emergency,
use encased meats.

Uh-huh! Rhoda's gotta rage!

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!

BUGS: Hey, Rhod-hog!

Huh?

I'm taking a stand!

A concession stand!

-[ARM POPS]
- Huh?

Let's do this!

[BELLOWING]

Okay. [BELLOWS WEAKLY]

[METAL CLANGING]

[HEAD BOINGS]

Think you can ketchup?

Or is that
all you can mustard?

[SHRIEKS]

Enough with the puns!

Just one more?

You're really gonna relish it!

I'm gonna turn this bunny
into Rhoda-k*ll!

[STRAINING]

Time to meet your biggest fan!

Ahhh! I thought you said
no more puns!

[CACKLING MANIACALLY]

Ow. [GROANS]

Rhoda's got to...

One...

Two... Three...

Four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten, you win!

Just get me out of here!

[BELL RINGS]

I will. Just a soon
as I celebrate my big win.

[BELLOWING] Yeah!

-[CROWD CHEERING]
- The thrill of victory...

[RHODA CRYING]

And the agony of the cheat.

VIKTOR: Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Circus Lame',

the most pretentious circus
in the world!

Please turn on
your cell phones

and video-tape
every second of...

Me, the spectacular

and handsome
Viktor the Humble,

the greatest circus performer
in the world!

Drumroll, please.

[DRUMROLL PLAYS]

[CROWD CHEERS]

MEN: [TOGETHER] Oh, Viktor!

You are the greatest
circus performer in the world!

MAN 1: Look! He's trapped
behind a glass window,

and he wants to pet a puppy,
but he can't reach it!

I can't believe
I snuck in here,

and this is the only seat
I could find.

I can't see a thing!

Much better. Now, let's see
what all the fuss is about.

MAN 1: Now, it's like
he's drinking herbal tea!

I can smell the chamomile.

This is the show?

I should have stayed
behind the pole.

Oh, you're trapped.
That's how I feel

watching your lame show!

Is that invisible rope
going to pull something
entertaining onstage?

Oh, no. A windstorm.

Maybe it'll blow you
back to the box office,

so you can give us
our money back!

Hey! What is your problem?

Listen, buster.

I like mime
as much as the next
mopey theater student,

but this is not
my idea of a circus.

No wonder
you call it "Circus So-Lame."

This is the circus!
The pretentious circus!

And it's pronounced "lam-ay."

Where are
the death-defying stunts?

The human cannonball!

Where are the clowns?

I am the clown!

You?

Clowns don't run around
making pretend boxes.

They spray seltzer
in your face!

- They slip on banana peels.
-[GRUNTS]

- They get hit a lot.
-[GRUNTS]

[GRUMBLES] Enough!

No one clowns around but me!

-[DAFFY SCREAMS]
-[GLASS SMASHING]

Sorry about
the interruption, folks.

Soon, it will be
a distant memory,

as I am about
to glide through the air

like you've never seen before.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm going to show you
what a real circus looks like.

You're throwing me too high!

Real circuses
have thrills and chills.

Ingrid Bergman!

[YELLS]

[GRUNTS]

- Put me down!
- Will do.

[EXCLAIMING]

[GASPS]

To make it more riveting,

I've replaced the net with
a tank of man-eating sharks.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

[SHRIEKING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Get out of here,
you crazy duck.

Whoo-hoo!

Ladies and gentlemen,
feast your eyes on me!

It's okay if my beauty
makes you cry,

because I brought
handkerchiefs!

[EXCLAIMING]

Nice simple stunt, Viktor,
but let's kick it up a notch.

Ow! Warn me first!

- DAFFY: Okay. Heads up!
-[GRUNTS]

- DAFFY: And the spare!
-[GRUNTS]

I'm a sad clown.

- DAFFY: Electric eels coming!
-[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[GRUNTING IN PAIN]
Thank... You...

For... The... Warning!

Just look at him, folks!
Juggling everything at once!

He's even off-balance!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

And now, for the big finish!

Actually, I think
he's Swedish. Whoo-hoo!

Abe Vigoda!

Gotcha, big fella!

- Ta-da!
-[GRUNTS]

Wait, where's
the electric eel?

-[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
- Peter Forsberg!

He was right.
It did bring a tear to my eye.

MEN: [TOGETHER]
Viktor and Daffy are
the greatest combination

since meatballs and anything.

They're eating this up!

I told you my old-school
circus would be a hit!

I want to put a foot
in your caboodle!

-[GROWLS]
- Whoo-hoo!

You gotta catch me first!
Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

- Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
-[GRUNTING]

Let's show them
some real aerial ballet!

The hunter!
The distressed mermaid!

The bouncing ball!

The dueling banjo!

And finally, the snip!

Ahhh!

[GRUNTING]

[VIKTOR WHIMPERING]

[WHIMPERING]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS]

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

And now...

The ball of terror,

where Viktor
the Humble will stand
in the middle of this ball

while I repeatedly
run him over

with this motorcycle!

What?

On your right! On your right!

On your right!
On your right! On your right!

I'm always on your right.
It's a circle.

And now, the Swedish m*ssile!

Leslie Nielsen!

[GRUNTS AND GROANS]

[TENT CRASHING]

You crazy duck!
You destroyed my circus!

Are you kidding?
I made it better!

-[CROWD CHEERING]
- Just listen to that crowd!

MEN: [TOGETHER]
We love you, Daffy!

But, they are cheering
for you!

If you want to win them back,
you need a more exciting act!

-[CROWD CHEERING]
- DAFFY: Ladies and gentlemen,

step right up and watch,

as Viktor the Humble
jumps from that high-dive

into this bucket
of sauerkraut!

But first, he must make it
through three rings of fire,

all the while, wearing a suit
made of sausages!

-[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
-[SHRIEKS]

[SCREAMING] Swedish meatballs!

I did it!
I made it into the sauerkraut.

Wow, this circus really
took a turn for the wurst.

[CHEWING]