01x08 & 01x09 - Gas Station Vacation/Bunny the Barbarian

[bunniefuu]

- Hi, I'm Patrick Star,

and I live with my parents.

Ow!

This is my dad.

This is my mom.

[laughs]

This is my sister.

She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room.

And this

this is my show!

- Family vacation,

family vacation ♪

Family vacation ♪

Ooh!

Family vacation ♪

Family vacation,

family vacation ♪

Family vacation ♪

[grunting]

Family vacation ♪

Oy! Ah.

[chuckles]

Attention, Stars,

your annual family vacation

will be leaving the driveway

on schedule in 58 seconds.

All aboard.

- Vacation!

I'm riding in the front.

- No, I called it.

- I did.

[laughter]

- [barking]

[oven timer dings]

- Oh, I hope I didn't forget

to leave the oven on.

- [snarling]

- All right, let's get this

quality time over with.

- All right, family,

here we go.

Hee-hee-hee.

[tires squealing]

- You kids are gonna love

this new vacation resort.

It looks so fun.

- Yeah, we saw it on the TV.

- [snoring]

- [grunting]

Don't you wish you were here?

Then take a trip,

you silly, to Frigate Frolic,

Bikini Bottom's fab

family fun park, and resort.

You can ride the waves

or blast off at Beluga Blast,

sh**t some pool,

or jump in one.

Whether you're hungry for

the buffet at the Taj Marlin

or you just want to sunbathe,

we got you covered. Ow!

So meet me at the amazing

Frigate Folic.

I'll be waitin'.

- Brought to you by the gas

you won't want to pass.

Gas Land.

- Ooh, look.

Oh, there it is,

our vacation destination,

Gas Land.

[all gasping]

- Wow, this resort looks

even better in person.

All right, everyone,

let's take a vote

on what we do first.

- Yeah, that's great, Dad.

I'll take it from here.

Listen up, people.

Before we start the fun,

GrandPat, unpack the trunk.

Patrick,

take Tinkle to the restroom.

Squidina, get us some snacks.

Mom, Dad,

stay where I can see you.

Big new places can be scary.

We rally back here in five.

[whistle blows]

- Oh, I'm a sucker

for these carnival games.

Ahh.

- [gurgling]

- Ohh.

- Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh!

Oh!

- [laughs]

Ahh.

- [humming]

- Please, kind sir,

would you help me

open my trunk?

I've got feeble fingers.

- Why certainly.

Helping customers

is our policy.

Ahh!

- [laughs]

- Be a good Tinkle and

visit with your toilet friends.

Good boy.

- [panting]

[sniffing]

[barks]

[panting]

- Chicken it, Sis,

a sea poodle.

[laughs]

Ahh!

Oh-oh-oh-oh!

Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!

Ahh!

- Huh?

- Ooh.

Ahh.

- Huh?

- Ooh.

[gulps]

- [sobbing]

- Huh?

I'll make us a family sized

vacation feast.

[chuckles]

[grunts]

[chuckles]

[grunting]

[microwave beeping]

- And then he ate it.

There he is.

- Excuse me, sir,

you can't come in here

ruining customer's ice cream

cones.

That's our policy.

- Huh?

What?

Sis, get a picture of me

with the Gas Land mascot.

- All right, Stars, photo op.

Say cheese poofs.

[together]

Cheese poofs.

- Time for water rides!

- Yay!

- Good riddance;

that's our policy.

Whoa! Ah!

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh!

[all chattering]

- Whee!

- Ooh-ooh-ooh.

- Here we go.

♪

[laughter]

- Whee.

[laughter]

[elegant orchestral music]

♪

both: Huh?

[laughter]

- Huh?

What? My boat wash.

[laughter]

- [panting]

This is not a bath house;

it's a boat wash.

That's our policy.

Are you listening to me?

Ohh.

Ahh!

- Whoa! Whoa!

- Time for mini golf.

Let's hit the links.

- Your father and I are going

to go relax in the spa

while you play with GrandPat.

both: Oh!

[gurgling]

- Essential oil.

- So good.

- All right, rookies,

would you like me to show you

a professional golf swing?

both: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Then watch and learn.

[grunting]

- [slurps]

- Remember keep swinging until

your ball goes in a hole.

[all grunting]

[all screaming]

- Oh, that was delightful.

- Uhgah!

A hole in one!

all: Yay! Whoo-hoo!

- Oh.

- Ohh.

- Huh?

[whistle blows]

Time for snorkeling.

Let's go!

[tires squealing]

- Yeah!

[laughter]

[laughter]

- Hmm?

- Huh?

[laughter]

- Be right back.

[laughs]

[microwave rattling]

Just a few more items

for our feast.

[grunting]

That'll cook it faster.

[laughs]

I'm back.

[laughter]

[tires screeching]

- You win again, bladder.

Public restroom it is.

[groans]

- [barking]

- Huh?

- [teeth chattering]

Help me.

- [gasp]

A feral toilet.

- Wow, I didn't know they have

a petting zoo.

[animals barking]

- Hey, you kids.

- What are you doing

with our pet, Tinkle?

- This toilet has no license,

and I'm taking it to the pound.

Now get your unauthorized hand

off my authorized door.

- Oooh.

- Huh?

[groans]

Ohh, not the swirly.

[watch beeps]

- Time for mountain climbing!

- Yes!

- Come on.

[together] Yippee. Oh boy.

- [groans]

[animals barking]

[gasps]

What's happening?

- [growls]

- They did it.

[all yodeling]

- What a beautiful

vacation sunset.

[all sighing]

[animals growling]

- [grunting]

[growling]

- Hey, Mr. Mascot, come

to enjoy the sunset with us?

- I want you troublemakers

out of my station immediately

or I will squeegee

your faces off.

That's our policy.

[cackles]

[together]

Uh

Yay!

- Do my eyes next.

[laughter]

[whirring]

[beeping]

- [gasp]

Dinner's ready!

- Ahh!

This isn't our policy!

[together]

Whoa, oof!

- Ahh!

- What?

all: Yay!

[watch beeps]

[whistle blows]

- Vacation is over.

Time to go.

[all grunting]

- [panting]

- Oh!

- [groaning]

- Excuse me, kind sir,

but can't you help me repack

my trunk?

I--

- Gah!

[grunting]

- Thanks for a great vacation,

Gas Land.

See you next summer.

Huh?

Oh.

[chuckles]

We ran out of gas.

All right, everyone,

let's get out and push.

[together]

Yay.

- Get me out of here.

[all grunting]

- Family vacation,

family vacation ♪

[all grunting]

[conch horn blowing]

- Star family assemble!

- Whee!

D'oh!

[moans]

[panting]

- Ugh!

- Oh!

Ugh!

[chuckles]

[cheering, cameras clicking]

- Agh!

[grunting]

[humming]

- As you know,

tonight is family movie night!

[all cheer]

- But first, we all have to do

our weekly household chores.

- Wait, what?

- Do we have to?

- Ah-ah.

No back sass now.

Chores are something we do

for fun!

Cecil,

you've got the grass cutting.

Grandpat, put away that radio.

Squidina on floors.

- Ah!

- And, Patrick, garbage duty.

- Oh-hey!

- And I'm gonna vacuum!

[gasps]

Just think,

the dust-free bric-a-brac

[vacuum whirring]

- [grunts, groans]

- And the spotless,

speckless spots.

[vacuum whirring]

- Mm!

- [gasps]

- Eh--hm.

- Nature may abhor a vacuum,

but I love it!

- [muttering]

- [laughing]

Ah, it's great to see

real Kentucky bluegrass

after all that artificial turf

I've been cutting.

How's that fertilizer

treatin' you?

Ha!

[chuckles]

Eh?

Your chlorophyll's

looking great!

Next!

- Hm!

[straining]

Ah-ooh.

Mm, that should've hurt!

[grunts]

Ah!

Oh.

Whoa!

Oh, ugh!

A job well done.

Heh!

[engine revving]

[furniture crashing,

shattering]

[Zamboni beeping]

- That floor's clean!

- Huh, so much garbage

in mom and dad's room.

[humming]

Uh!

[straining]

[sighs]

Doo-do-do-do-doo-do ♪

- [humming]

[foot giggling]

Uh!

Ooh!

Patrick's time closet.

Hmm, hm.

I finished cleaning

a little early.

I could use a break.

Maybe a little adventure

before movie night.

Should I?

Oh, why not?

[laughing]

Paris in the 1800s,

been there.

Now this place looks

positively barbaric!

Adventure and

a little cleaning up?

Here I come.

Ooh.

Ooh!

[birds screeching]

[animals growling]

[lizard squawks]

Ooh, I like this dry heat.

[shuddering]

[birds screeching]

Ooh!

That's an attractive attraction

that I'm attracted to.

Ooh-di-doo, duh-do-do-doo ♪

Ahem.

- Huh?

- How much does it cost

to get in?

- It could cost you your life.

What manner of armor

are you wearing?

- Oh, this old thing?

It's just something

I threw together.

- [whistles]

- Hoo!

Ooh!

[lizard roaring]

Oh, ow!

Oh, ow!

- Ooh, this armor is so soft

and breathable!

I feel so light!

- And it's 100%

machine-washable.

- [giggling]

- Aren't you going in?

- I was gonna

steal the bejeweled treasure

from the Dust Demon inside,

but now I just wanna dance

and dance and dance!

- Bejeweled treasure?

[gasps]

Adventure!

- Next!

Who or what are you to think

you can enter this realm?

- Hm?

Animal or mineral?

- Wrong.

- Ah!

- Who or what are you to think

you can enter this realm?

- My name is Bunny Star,

and I'm from Bikini Bottom.

I work as a greeter

at a local prison,

but if I was to say

what I am most proudest of,

that would be being a mother.

- A mother?

[whimpering]

[sniffles]

I never had a mother.

I was conjured from

sea cow pies by an evil spirit.

May I call you "mum"?

- Aww.

Mwah!

- Beware of

the Dust Demon's spawn, mother.

[crickets chirping]

- Oh,

let's get the show started!

- Oh, no you don't!

This is not family movie night

until the whole family is here!

- Oh, come on!

- Patrick!

- I ain't movin'

till mom gets here.

- [sighs]

- [growls]

- Uh!

[growls]

- [gulps]

- Doo-doo,

doo-di-do-do ♪

- [growls]

- Ooh!

- [roars]

- Aww, you must be one

of the Dust Demon's children.

- Grr

[sniffles]

- Oh, you've got a runny nose.

Well, we can't have that.

It's messy.

[vacuum whirring]

- Ooh!

- There.

Isn't that better?

- Mm-hmm.

- Now get out of here!

Have fun doing your carnage!

[humming]

La-la-lah,

doo-do-doo-do-doo ♪

Ooh!

[vacuum whirring]

Whoop, whoop, and whoop.

Bip, bop, boop-di-boop!

[coughing]

Doesn't anyone dust

around here?

[gasps]

Oh!

[giggles]

[straining]

Ah.

[gasps]

So shiny.

Hmm.

[electricity zapping]

Oh!

Ooh.

- So that's what that's for.

- Yes.

It's an attachment

that allows you vacuum into

crevices between couch cushions

and make 'em clean!

[gasps]

Wait a minute.

You're Dust Demon!

- Hm, how do you know

so much about cleaning?

Wait a minute.

You're a clean freak.

[chuckles]

I know how to deal with

an obsessive cleaning disorder.

- Oh!

- [blubbering]

[laughing, yelling]

- Shag carpet.

[gasps]

Heaven!

- Give it back!

Or else.

- Or else what?

- [chuckles]

- [gasps]

- [grumbling]

Hm?

- Oh, no you don't, mister.

Hmmuh!

- [whimpering, gasping]

- And I stepped in poo-poo.

[laughing]

- Real good thing my vacuum

is also a power scrubber.

Hyah!

Get a load of this.

[humming]

Ta-da!

- Neatnik!

[blubbering]

[groaning, growling]

- Ohhuh!

An iron maiden?

No way.

I use those to relax.

- Mm-hmm.

Ha.

Give it back or else.

[glugging]

- Hey, mister, use a glass.

[vacuum whirring]

- Uh!

Huh?

- There.

Now drink it down.

- [glugging]

Heh.

Ooh, a milk mustache.

- [gasps]

- How ever shall I wipe it off?

- [gasps]

You wouldn't dare.

- Dare.

[humming]

Hah!

So much for your tidy powers.

- Look, I'm a reasonable woman.

I don't wanna hurt anybody.

So if you would

just step aside.

- No, you step aside.

Mm.

- [gasps]

Was that back sass?

By Neptune's broom

charge me!

[thunder booming,

electricity zaps]

- Huh?

- [grunts]

- Mm.

Yee!

[laughing]

Can't get me.

- [humming]

- No, no, no!

[vacuum whirring]

Ahh!

both: Hey!

Where's our dad?

- [chuckles]

[both grunt]

- Just shake him out.

He'll be fine.

- Ah.

- [grunts]

Thank you for the adventure!

Onward to movie night!

[dragon screeching]

[door shuts]

Ooh!

What are you guys watchin'?

Dah!

- Some cheesy barbarian movie.

- I told them to wait for you.

- [gasps]

- Ow, ow, ow!

Ah!

- Oh, I missed a spot.

I'll be right back.

- Huh?

- [panting]

[humming]

- This again?

Let's not wait for Mom.

- [squeals]

- Change it to something funny.

- And now back to "The Sir

Urchin and Snail Fail Show"!

- Why, you!

- What'd I do?

[laughter]