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06x01 - Everything Breaks/The Show That Dare Not Speak Its Name

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy". Aired: June 13, 2003 – November 9, 2007.*
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Centered around the exploits of Billy, an idiotic and happy-go-lucky boy; Mandy, a deadpan, cynical and cold-hearted girl; and Grim, a Jamaican-accented Reaper.

06x01 - Everything Breaks/The Show That Dare Not Speak Its Name

Post by bunniefuu »

[Laughing]

You have disappointed me
for the last time.

[Ticking]
[ringing]

Aagh!

Billy's awake.

I could swear that kid's playing
with a jackhammer.

[Giggling]
billy!

You get down here this instant
before you break through the

Ceiling!

Sorry!

Coming, mom!

Didn't your mother just tell
you not to break through the

Ceiling?

You mean today?!

Just eat your breakfast.

[Inhales deeply]
hey!

These aren't pancakes!

Ew!

Are you nuts or just crazy?!

Is that a trick question?

And why are you constantly
breaking things?!

Just good at it, I guess.

Last night, I dreamed that I was
being chased by psychotic,

Wicked animals with weapons and
captain ahab and...

What does it mean, pop?

Uh, heck.

I don't even know how the
toaster works.

It means the woods are filled
with psychotic animals,

So don't go through the park
at night.

Oh, don't listen to them,
sweetie.

It simply means that you're
deeply disturbed.

[Horn honks]
there's your bus.

My bus!

Come on, grim!

Hurry, grim!

Billy, what are you doing?!

Man, you can't drive a bus.

Your feet don't even touch the
pedal.

Yeah!
Hee hee hee hee!

This way, grim!

Are you certain this is the
way to school, billy?

Uh, school?

Oh, yeah!

School!

This is a shortcut.

Aagh!

t*rd will not be
tolerated!

Aagh!

Ha ha.

I love this thing.

Sweet mother of pearl!

There it is, grim!

Quick!

Take the wheel.

Me?!

But I don't know how to drive!

You're not driving.

You're stopping.

[Tires squeal]
no!

No, no, no!

Aagh!

Yay!

[Laughter]
good thing I wore diapers,

Yo.

Sick.

And so, like, using just one
drop of water, we could power a

City the size of endsville for,
like, 3 weeks.

Like, totally renewable energy.

Huh, huh, huh?!

...with, like, zero
pollution.

Oh, thank you, jenny.

That will be all.

But, ms. Butterbean...
That's all.

But...
Thank you.

Now, like, who's next?

Billy?

Billy, is it remotely possible
that you have your science

Project ready?

Indubitably I do.

[Class groans]
observe, cretins...

[Snoring]
you see before you an exact

Scale model replica of the city
of endsville.

In order to test how our city
would fare in case of a natural

Disaster...

Say, like a collision with a
giant asteroid from outer space!

Aagh!

Hee hee hee hee!

I guess we could bounce back
from a direct hit by a giant

Meteor, but what about an epic
conflagration?!

I play a giant kid with a laser
g*n.

[Gasp]
[alarm rings]

What the?!

Or how about a super-huge
rain storm?

Let her rip, grim!

I think I heard me cue!

Billy!

Uh-oh.
It's stuck.

[Grunting]
oh, that's it.

I'm out of here.

Aagh!

I hope you have an
explanation for this.

Well, don't be blaming me for
this mess.

It's all billy's fault.

That boy is bent on destruction.

[Bubbling]
[burps]

Billy always breaks things.

This is getting stupid.

He's off the hook, yo!

Not in a good way.

Seismic, man.

What billy really needs is a
place where he can break things

Nonstop until he's sick of it.

Like reverse psychology, yo?

And I think I know just the
place.

Aagh!

Why, it's...

It's mandy...
My lord and master!

Oh, I am honored!

And, grim, my former master.

And some kid who wet his pants.

Oh, man!

Welcome to level 9.

I thought you lived on the
plane of eternal suffering.

I thought level 9 would sound
more tourist-friendly.

I have a task for you to
perform.

I want you to take billy on a
spree of destruction.

My old breaking-buddy billy?

That's just it.

He's been breaking everything.

Well, you say that like it's
a bad thing.

He needs to lay low before
the town decides to tar and

Feather him.

And you could show him what
destruction is all about.

I understand, master,
and I am at your service.

In short, billy,
your reckless behavior has

Become far too destructive.

We're gonna have to do something
about it.

I'm going to show you a
series of inkblots, billy.

I want you to tell me what you
see.

Broken cookie.

Broken toys.

Broken meats.

Broken socks.

Oh, this is pointless!

I think it is necessary, billy,
to put you under hypnosis.

This way, we may recover your
repressed memories that are

Making you act out by breaking
things like a nut job.

Knock yourself out, doc.

Look deeply into my eyes.

You are getting sleepy.

Also dizzy and a little
nauseous.

Yes.

I drink apple juice.

It always gives me gas.

Your eyes are getting heavy.

Sleep!

Sleep!

Sleep!

Now, billy, I want you to go
back, back to the first time you

Felt the urge for smashing and
breaking.

Go back, billy.

Back.

Yow!

Oh, you're gonna be in big
trouble when you come out of

There, buddy.
Too far!

Fast-forward!

Hey!

That's me when I was a baby.

And how do you feel, billy?

Yucky!

I just went doodies in my
diapers and nobody would change

Me.

[Screaming]
and I just can't seem to get

Anybody's attention.

[Sniffs]
ew!

Phew!

For the love of mike, I'm not
gonna change him.

Cry to your father, billy.

I changed you last.

Hey!

So, do you think that maybe
you break things to get

Attention?

No, not really.

That's it!
Wake up!

It's all very clear,
mr. Goodvibes.

This boy suffers from repressed
emotions.

He is merely acting out his
cravings for the attention he

Did not receive in early
childhood by smashing and

Breaking!

Unacceptable!

So, what should we do with him,
doctor?

You must inflict pain,
quick and severe pain.

Works for me.

Could be trouble with the school
board.

Now I've got you, billy!

It's lord pain!

Aagh!

Oh, my.

That may have been a bit
too severe.

Welcome to level 9, billy,
where everything is breakable.

Why, you little...

Well, it's about time you paid a
visit to lord pain, billy.

I'll say!

The show's almost over.

I heard of your predicament,
billy.

You might be here for a while.

What predicament?

Unfortunately, billy,
your neighbors don't appreciate

Your special skills the way I
do.

They've surrounded your house,
and they're howling for blood.

Give us the boy!

Hand him over!

He broke my garden!

He broke my bus!

Your father refused to give
you up.

Harold!

Put me down!

Aagh!

[Growling]
I'm sorry, angry mob!

Harold gets like this during
football season!

Good old dad.

That's why lord mandy sent me
to get you.

Lord mandy?!

Oh, yes, billy.

I am completely devoted to
lord mandy.

To demonstrate my devotion,
I've even altered my tattoos.

What do you think.

Wow, bad, uh-huh!

Well, you'll never get me to
call her lord mandy.

Billy!

Lord mandy!

And grim!
And irwin!

What's going on?

Call it an intervention.

You are completely out of
control.

You are so whack, yo!

We're leaving you with
lord pain to smash and break

Until you're completely sick of
it.

Till I'm sick of it?

That's right, you little
twerp.

And don't come back until it's
out of your system.

Sweet!

What shall we smash first,
billy?

Let's smash grim!

Me?!

Aagh!

Wait for me!

I've always wanted to smash
grim.

Quit horsing around, grim.

Wow!

What a city!

Here on level 9,
you can destroy anything you

Like and never get in trouble.

That's because nobody actually
lives here.

One day, the citizens got mad at
me for breaking stuff and moved

Away without saying good-bye.

Don't you get lonely?

Certain life choices require
sacrifice, billy.

Some day you'll learn that.

So, what do you say we wreck the
place.

Sweet!

Forward h*!

Well!

That's it, billy.

There's absolutely nothing left
to break.

Nothing left to break?!

But I'm not sick of it yet!

[Sobbing]
now do you understand, billy?

Uh... Uh... Understand w-w-what?

Oh.

Billy!

I'm back!

Well, that's dandy.

But have you learned your
lesson?

Are you finally sick of
breaking things?

Tell them what you've
learned, billy.

Hmm.

I learned that I haven't been
repressing my feelings at all.

I've been letting them all out.

It's everyone else that's
repressed.

He's right.

I should eat more fiber.

Besides... It's
fun to smash stuff.

That's right, billy!

So, what do you say we wreck the
place!

Aagh!

[Laughing]
general skarr, what time...

Boring.

Boring!

Boring!

Boring.

Yeow!

Boring!

Boring!

Boring.

[Alarm ringing]
boring.

Boring.

A little bored, are we?

Yes!

Where the heck have you been,
grim?

You told me that you were going
to take me to the zoo

To get even with those gorillas.

I never said that!

Tut tut tut!

I distinctly remember you saying
those exact words.

Hey, billy,
let's go to the zoo and get even

With those dirty gorillas.

You can ride on my humps all the
way there.

Now, bend over and let me
ride your humps.

Well, I can't.

I'm on my way to meet someone
on the internet who'll pay big

Bucks for this photo of your dad
I took last summer.

So, you're just gonna have to
play by yourself till I get

Back.

Can i...
No!

You can't go digging into my
magical trunk for something to

Play with.

Then, can i...
Hold on.

I told you, keep your hands off
of the junk in my trunk!

Bah!

It's no use.

There's nothing in here but
piles and piles of embarrassing

Photos of my dad.

h* hum.

I guess I'll have to stay bored
forever.

Or until I can get my hands on
some fake dog poo!

Play with me.

What's this?

Did you just say something,
strange, magical cube?

Play with me.

But I've never played with
anything that's ever talked back

To me before...

Except for that stupid wishing
skull... And we all know how that

Turned out.

Sheesh!

Promise me you won't destroy
anything if I play with you.

No.

Then at least promise me you
won't open up some crazy portal

To some crazy dimension.

No.

Then promise me you won't try
to take over the world.

No.

How about not causing any
mischief or mayhem?

Uh-uh.

How about not spanking me.

Sorry.

Not hogging the tv remote.

No can do.

Then promise me you won't hit
on my mom.

No.

Ha ha ha ha.

Pull my finger.
I...

I can't.

I love you!

Let's play!

Hello, billy.

Ha ha ha ha.

Who are you?

They call me pinface.

Why do they call you that?

Look closely.

Don't you notice these grotesque
bowling pins sticking out of my

Head?!

Look at me!

Look!

Oh, yeah.

Now I see 'em.

Stop looking at me!

[Sobbing]
I was born this way.

So, what are you doing in my
basement?

Well, because of you, billy,
I'm free to open the portal that

Bridges your world with another
world.

So, now I can summon my minions
to your nauseating plane of

Existence and take over this
pitiful planet.

You're staring at my pins,
aren't you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you say something?

I was staring at your freakish
bowling pins.

Just get out.

Did you say something?

And now to call my minions!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Call failed?

I better look for better
reception.

Can you hear me ok now?

[Growling]
how about now?

How about now?

How about now?

Good.

Listen, we got another dimension
to conquer.

How soon can you get here?

[Doorbell rings]
well, it's about...

Great googley moogley!

Well, dude,
you said bring everybody.

Excellent.

Soon this world will be ours for
the taking.

Uh, dude,
like, this is getting kind of

Awkward.

Now go and conquer this
pathetic planet and destroy

Everything in your path!

And bring me back a latte.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

We'll get to that.

Oh, hey.

You know what sounds like a
great idea?

Please don't say
"a house party."

A house party!

Hey, everyone, come on in!

The party's in here!

Hey, monkey-butt-face,
whatcha doing out here all by

Your dorksome self?

None ya.

Whatcha got there?

Oh, just a magical cube I got
from some guy with bowling pins

Sticking out of his head.

A guy with bowling pins
sticking out of his head?

Magical cube?

Hmm.

This sounds stupid and
dangerous.

Let's go check this out.

[Laughter]
[bassy music playing]

[Car alarm ringing]

Cover your eyes, billy.
They've just gone conga.

What are you doing?!

We've got a world to conquer!

Dude, you've gotta learn to
chill out, man.

Hello, mister!

How are you?!

Hey,
you with the bowling pins.

What are you doing in billy's
house?

Well, little... Girl.

Ahem.

Your boyfriend here just
happened to summon me from the

Netherworld by rearranging the
colors of my mystical puzzle

Cube.

And soon me and my minions will
rule this world!

[Laughing]
oh, kiss me!

Kiss me!

Why don't you want to kiss me?!

[Smacking lips]
oh.

Keep dreaming, pin-butt.

Just wait until grim comes home.

Yeah!

Keep dreaming, pin-butt.

Grim's gonna fix you good!

Grim?

You mean the grim reaper?

Oh, ha ha.

I'm so scared!

Whatever shall I do?

Not the grim reaper!

Oh!

Anything but the big, bad grim
reaper.

Hey, pinface!

Oh, jeez!

Don't do that!

What's wrong with you, man?!

Grim, you know this guy?

Unfortunately, yes.

He lived across the street from
me when we were kids.

We used to hang out until
pinface's dad got a job in the

Netherworld and they had to
move.

And then once I hung out at the
underworld mall with his sister.

And she still doesn't
understand why you so viciously

Dumped her.

Because she had bowling pins
sticking out of her head, man!

How was I supposed to make out
with her with those stupid pins

Constantly sticking me in the
eye?!

No matter.

This world is mine.

And there's nothing you can do
about it!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

So, there!

It took me 4 years to solve
that stupid magical cube and

Keep you in the netherworld.

Now I think I'll do it the easy
way!

Your powers are useless
against me, reaper.

And now I shall send you to the
netherworld where you'll be

Trapped forever.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha... [Coughing] grim!

What did you do to grim?

Nothing...

Compared to what I'm about to do
to you two.

How does spending an eternity
serving me as my mindless sl*ves

Sound?

Yay!

[Whistling]
oof!

Hey.

I remember these things from
when I was a lad.

They were all the rage back
then.

I used to just peel off the
little stickers and rearrange

Them.

See?!

Nothing to it.

Prepare to...
No!

It couldn't be!

The cube has been solved?!

That's impossible!

No!

[Laughter]
ooh!

Uh-uh!

Uh, uh, uh, uh!

Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!

Feel it!

Feel it!

[Gasps]
harold!

What are you doing?!

Huh?!

What?!

Uh, dancing with monsters with
my shirt off.

What does it look like I'm
doing?

[Stammering]
harold!

My house!

What did you do to my precious
house?!

It wasn't me!

It was the guy with the bowling
pins stuck in his head!

Bowling pins I tell you!

Bowling pins.

I-i... Is he gone?

Is pinface gone, mandy?

Yep.

And so are all the other
monsters.

We better put this thing back in
grim's trunk.

But, mandy,
what happened to grim?

Who knows?

But I'm sure he's in a better
place now.

Will you let go of me,
woman?!

I'm not going antiquing with you
people!

Shot of espresso?

What the heck.

I'm feeling a little naughty
today.

Hee hee hee hee.

Oh, and extra whipped cream,
please.

And, yes, they're bowling pins.

I have bowling pins sticking out
of my head.

Why don't you take a picture.

It'll last longer.

Sir, your coffee's ready.

Oh, goody!

Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!