05x11 - Hurter Monkey/Goodbling and the Hip-Hop-Opotamus

[bunniefuu]

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I've only got one nerve left,
and you're getting on it.

♪ X-treme
x-treme

X-treme adventures of brandon
and mallory

Evil can't stop your... ♪
Summon grimbot, activate!

♪ Awesome power
you'll be there

In the darkest hour
x-treme

X-treeeeeme! ♪
"The x-treme adventures of

Brandon and mallory?"
Who watches this drivel?

Oh, my gosh!

"The x-treme adventures of
brandon and mallory" is so

Sweet!

Ooh, ooh!

I wish our lives were like that.

You know, getting into some
sweet adventures, facing off

Against some sweet villains,
having a sweet helper monkey to

Get us into and out of trouble,
and hanging out with the sweet,

Radical reaper!

Oh!

That'd be so sweet.

Shut up, stupid face.

I'm way more radical than a
radical reaper.

I don't see you doing anything
extreme.

Whatever, grim.

Lately our radical extreme
adventures consist of watching

Tv and eating nutty corn snacks
from the can.

But I love nutty corn snacks.

They're chock full of nutty
goodness.

To the extreme!

All right, that's it.

No more sitting around.

Get off your lazy, bony butt and
clean this place.

I just cleaned this place.

Well, you missed a spot.

Oh, and get me another drink.

I'm empty.
Chop chop.

That's it!

You sawed-off little tyrant.

I can't take this anymore!

I do all the cooking, the
cleaning, the homework, the

Washing, the drying, the
shaking, the baking, the

Pooping, the scooping.

You also do all the
complaining.

Oh, so it's like that, eh?

Yeah, that's right.

You know, mandy, one of these
days I'll leave you kids for

Good, and then you'll be sorry.

Sorry, I tells ya!

Ooh.

Promises, promises.

Shh!

Tv.

Oh, helper monkey, you saved
us from lord chaos' evil ninja

Assassins.

Ha ha ha!

Good thing you were here to save
the day, old chum.

How can we ever thank you?

I know!

Extreme group hug!

Ooh, ooh!

I got it!

Smiley monkey attacks the hate
with magical kung fu grip, hmm?

What you yapping about, boy?

Wait a minute.

I think what he means to say is
even a monkey can do your job

And with less complaining and
something about kung fu.

Yeah!

That's what I said.

You know, billy, I hate to
admit it, but you might be on to

Something.

Fine.

Why don't we make your dreams
come true?

[Screeching]
we'll see how funny you think

You are when this primitive
creature is done flinging poo at

You.

[Screeching]
hey, where'd he go?

Oh! Uh!

Aah!

What's this?

"Hello, my name is dickie
galoot: the simian in the fancy

Black suit.

Any command I will execute.

Don't feed me dairy, or I will
go poot."

Any command, huh?

All right, dickie galoot.

Clean this dump.

This place is spotless.

I can't believe it.

He's even delousing billy.

Dickie galoot enjoys eating
lice more than I do.

See that, grim?

Even a trained monkey can do
what you do and with a better

Attitude.

[Screeching]
I've seen enough.

If you kids would rather have a
stupid monkey as a best friend

Forever instead of the grim
reaper, that's fine by me.

Our friendship is over, and I'm
never coming back.

What the...
Forever's faster than it used

To be.

Oh.

Finally rid of those kids.

Still here.

Aah!

No!

What?

All right.

What's the meaning of this?

Me scythe won't let me teleport
out of here.

Mr. Reaper.

Paging mr. G. Reaper.

Please report to the underworld
immediately.

The underworld?

Oh, great.

As if this day could get any
worse.

Oh!

♪ Grim's in trouble
right, dickie?

Hee hee hee!

[Laughing]
quiet, you.

Once I clear this up, I am so
out of here.

Harvey?

What am I doing in me lawyer's
office?

Oh, me stupid scythe must be
malfunctioning again.

No, grim.
Listen.

Your scythe isn't
malfunctioning.

It simply won't allow you to
break your friendship.

What do you mean?

Well, let me explain.

If you end your friendship
prematurely, you'll be removed

From the other realm and sent
back to the underworld.

And because you violated your
contract, you'll also be forced

To spend eternity in underworld
jail.

No!

Anything but underworld jail!

Oh, you don't know what kind of
monsters they have there.

They'll turn me bones into
toothpicks, man.

Now you know what you must
do, grim.

Now go up there and get that
monkey off your back.

To defeat this monkey, I'm
gonna need cleaning products.

Lots of cleaning products.

Groovy.

All right, dickie.

All you need to do is clean my
house, and we'll make you our

New chore monkey.

Not so fast.

There's only room for one chore
monkey in this house, and that's

Me.
Grim!

You came back?

I couldn't stand idly by and
watch some house pet take away

What's mine.

Ha ha ha!

Dickie?

Oh, grim, grim, grim.

You didn't know how good you had
it.

Dickie?

Y-you're talking?

Yes.

I'm talking.

But are you listening to me,
grim?

Heh heh heh.

I'm trying to tell you how much
I admire you and your simple

Life.
What?

What did you say?

Being in your home after you
left, I was the chore monkey.

I tasted the life of a simple
man, and now...

[Squeaking]
I'm hungry for more.

You got a real nice life, grim,
and I want it!

Blah!

Working with those kids brandon
and mallory, they drive me

Crazy!

"Extreme" this and "to the max"
that.

Day in and day out.

Oh!

You wouldn't understand how
annoying two kids like that can

Be!

Well, I've finally found a nice,
peaceful place to live, and I'm

Not about to let some ungrateful
underworld punk take it all

Away from me.

Then let's settle this with a
duel of honor... A clean-off!

Whoever loses must leave
forever.

All right, skeletor.

Let's do it.

Clear out of here, kids.

It's about to get really clean
all up in this piece.

I'll clean your clock,
reaper.

I'll wipe the floor with you,
dickie galoot.

[Laser sounds]
aah!

Dickie.

Come out and play-ay!

You're just gonna run and hide
like billy after he wets the

Living room rug?

[Screeching]
aah!

Aah!

I'm out.

Me, too.

Your cleaning skills are
quite formidable, reaper.

Tell me, can you also handle the
laundry?

Aah!

Whoo!

Yah!

Uhh!

Aah!

[Yelling]
uhh...

Huh?

You're not so lively with a
bottle of cleaning solution on

Your face, huh, reaper?

You are finished.

You're crazy, dickie galoot.

You're using that product in a
manner inconsistent with its

Labeling.

Now to remove the most
stubborn stain of all.

Aah!

Hey, dickie.

Huh?

You missed a spot.

Hey, there you are.

What the...
No!

Helper monkey, are you ready
for more extreme adventures to

The max?

No! Wait!

Please!

Get me out of here!

Extreme that.

Whew!

Uhh... All right, billy.

Pay up.

Fine.
Here's my allowance.

And?

And you'll get my allowance
every week from now until you

Graduate from college.

That's right.

And from now on, it's going to
be a 4% increase from whatever

Your mom is shelling out for
you.

I have expensive tastes.

Hey.

What is the meaning of all this?

Mandy bet that you would
clean my filthy, disgusting

House without any of us asking
you to do it, and I said, "no

Way," 'cause all you do is watch
tv and eat nutty corn snacks and

Complain.

So you manipulated this whole
thing from the beginning?

You set all this up to make me
do all the cleaning for you?

You didn't seriously think I
was going to do it myself, did

You?

Uhh...

Save the buck-toothed hippo.

Save the buck-toothed hippo.

Yo, goodvibes, your mama so
hairy, bigfoot takes pictures

Of her.

I can guarantee you this,
mister.

My mother is not hairy.

Principal goodvibes, do you
have time to answer a question

For the school yearbook?

Why, yes.

Go ahead, mandy.

Yeah, um, why are you so
boring and uncool?

I am not boring.

I live a very eventful and
exciting life.

I battle the forces of evil.

I collect rare and important
items all over the globe.

I stay up all night listening to
music.

So I think it's fair to say that
my life is anything but boring

And uncool!

[Snoring]
it's not my fault.

It's glandular.

Billy, we don't have enough
deadly bloodsucking eels.

Pour some more into the tank.

Gotcha.

How in the world I got
shanghaied into this, I'll never

Know.

You're going down, reaper!

Ow!

That was just pathetic.

You even hit your stupid target,
and you still couldn't dunk me.

You don't mind if a little
old lady gives it a try, do you,

Honey?

Knock yourself out, granny.

Aah!

Oh, that's it.

I'm through playing games with
these mortals.

It's time to step it up a notch.

Come on, granny.

That all you got?

All right, child.

This time, I'm putting some
stank on it.

Now, that's what I call
stank, yo.

Now you be a good boy, irwin,
and give your dear old

Grandmama some room!

Stupid ball.

More like yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, grim blasted principal
goodvibes.

Oh, that ain't good, man.

Who knows what vile sort of
creature he might transform

Into?

Goodbling.

Oh, no.

He's become, become a...

A whack gangsta rapper.

Yo, yo, yo.

Microphone check.

1, 2.

What is this?

It's the "g" to the double "o"
to the d-bling here to let y'all

Know there's a new mayor in
town, son, and things are gonna

Be a lot more cool and
excite-ing strictly on the

Hip-hop camp, and for all the
haters out there who got a

Beef, then you best check with
my man h20.

[Scatting]
he's the illest, beat-boxing

Hippo to ever spin on the mike,
a'ight?

Grim, couldn't you just zap
goodvibes back to normal?

The scythe magically
transformed your principal into

An ultra-cool hip-hop gangsta.

He can only be defeated by an
even cooler hip-hop gangsta, so

You might as well relax and
embrace the hip-hopitude like

Billy has.

Sweet, I was, like, "yeah,
yeah, yeah," and he was, like,

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," and I'm,
like, "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

Uh... Yo, that's fresh, yo.

You're, like, the mack daddy or
something.

Straight gangster.

It's gangsta!

Gangsta!

You're making me look bad,
irwin.

I'm sorry, billy.

My parents won't let me listen
to hippity-hop music, yo, or

Anything that has a musical
beat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, it looks like principal
goodbling is making school a lot

More fun.

Uh, no.

Goodbling has restructured all
the classes to be more hip-hop

Friendly.

That doesn't sound too bad,
does it?

Goodbling has also gotten rid
of the math, english, and

Science classes and replaced
them with spray can etiquette

Classes, boom box repair,
shock jewelry polishing

Classes, and pop and lock
appreciation.

That monster!

I can't believe it!

He forgot to include a hip-hop
history class?

How can anyone say they're
hip-hop without knowing about

The old school?

It's a crime, I tell ya.

A crime!

Attention.

Attention.

Introducing principal goodbling.

Uh, principal goodbling.

I said...

Girl, I done heard you the
first time.

The stupid door is stuck again.

Someone get me out of here.

Thanks, homey.

Now give me a beat.

[Scatting]
i... I like that.

I'm feeling it.

Here comes the number-one
freestyle rapping champ on the

West coast.

Feel the mad skills.

Check, 1, 2.

Yo, yo, yo.

I feel that.

I feel that.

I'm about to go off, y'all.

Watch it.
Watch it now.

I... [Farts] good night, peace!

That's it?

He never even got to
freestyling, man.

He's nothing but a poseur.

A poseur, mandy!

Yep.

He subjects us to this every
morning.

Principal goodbling may not
be as boring as principal

Goodvibes, but he's twice as
obnoxious.

We've got to stop him.

All right.

Listen, goodbling.

You've gone too far, man.

You're teaching these kids about
the gangsta rapper lifestyle

Without first giving them a
proper understanding of the old

School.

I'm not gonna stand for that,
you hear?

I may not have brought you into
this world, but I can take you

Out of it.

Get my drift?

You talk some serious jazz,
reaper.

The nerve of this kid,
bum-rushing my crib, spitting

Some unkind lyrics all up in my
grill.

This school is mine, dog, and
ain't nothing you can do about

It.
Word.

Yo, check, 1, 2.

You whack.

Oh, and by the way, your mama so
ugly, she entered an ugly

Contest and got turned away
'cause they told her, "sorry,

No professionals."

Ha ha ha!

Mama.

Just shake it off already,
grim.

Jeez.

Why would goodbling say
something so horrible?

I just don't get it.

Face it, grim.

You fell victim to a classic "yo
mama" insult.

Yeah.

It was pretty good, which means
goodbling has become extremely

Powerful and may in fact take
complete control over

Goodvibes' body and mind
forever.

Yo, billy, check it out.

How's this for hip-hop, yo?

♪ Uh-oh, uh-oh
uh-oh, oh, oh

Uh-oh, uh-oh
uh-oh, uh-oh ♪

Uh... Oh.

S-s-sorry, yo.

Well, you just don't know how
sorry you are, shorty.

This be my man h20, you heared?

The freshest hip-hop beat-boxing
hippo around.

Hippo?

He looks more like a fat cow.

[Glass breaks]
he's dead.

Oh, no, you didn't.

I know you didn't just insult my
man h20, dog.

It was a mistake, yo.

I'm sorry, really!

Is goodbling gonna have to
insult your mama?

No,
no... Your mama so... She's so what?

Grandmama!

Grandmama?

That's right.

I came here 'cause my little
baby forgot his sweater at home.

Hee hee, uh... Oh.

I don't appreciate you boys
bullying my little irwin.

What you gonna do about it,
granny?

You in goodbling's house now,
yo.

And ain't no raggedy house
dress-wearing, old as dirt,

Applesauce-eating old fogy gonna
come up into my school and tell

Goodbling what to do.

Word.

Uh-uh, no, you didn't.

No, you didn't.

That's it, sonny.

You done called down the
thunder, and you left me no

Choice but to start bagging on
your mama.

Your mama so ugly that people go
as her for halloween.

Ooh!

Your mama so stupid, she sold
her car for gas money.

Ooh!

Your mama so ugly, she made
an onion cry.

Ha ha ha!

Your mama so ugly, she turned
medusa to stone.

Yo!

Your mama so stupid, she took
a ruler to bed to see how long

She slept.

Well, your mama is so...
Your mama so stupid, she

Cheated on billy's test.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, well, uh...

Your mama so ugly, she looked
out the window and got arrested

For mooning.

Uh, yeah?

Y-y-your... Your mama is...
Let me tell you now.

Your mama so ugly, I said she's
so ugly, she needs two bangs to

Cover her face.

Mm-hmm.

That the pound wouldn't take her
away.

No, they wouldn't.

That dracula wouldn't drink her
blood.

Dracula wouldn't touch her
with wolfman's teeth.

Oh, oh, oh... Uh-oh.

This doesn't look good.

Aah!

Oh, oh, oh... [Fart] oh.

Where am i?

What happened?

You got hit by a blast from
me scythe and were transformed

Into a hip-hop mack daddy
wannabe gangsta principal bent

On ruling the school with a
mighty fist of rap.

Oh.
Was I cool?

No.

Wow, grandmama.

You were, like, so fresh, yo.

Like straight gangsta mack on
the ill tent for reals, yo.

Like, stupid with mad skills!

Don't you ever speak to your
grandmama that way, child.

You kids today with your
hippity-hop music and your throw

Your hands in the air, waving
like you just don't care.

Now go put on that sweater I
made for you, baby.

Yes, grandmama.

So, grim, is goodbling gone
forever?

I'm afraid so, billy.

I'm afraid so.

Let's go home.

Hey, hey, grim.

Your mama is so ugly, I heard
your dad met her at a dog show.

Shut up!

Ooh, your mama is so stupid,
she puts lipstick on her head

Just to make up her mind.

Shut up!

Work it, yeah!

Work it, mmm, mmm!