05x06 - Herbicidal Maniac/Chaos Theory

[bunniefuu]

[Laughing]

You're down to earth,

But not down quite far enough.

[Cows mooing]

Thanks.

Who's hungry for some farm-fresh
fertilizer?

Eat up!

Only the best for my babies.

Now, that is one handsome yard!

A yard...

Worthy of winning the coveted
endsville good neighbor award.

When I have that award,
I shall place it here upon this

Perch for all to see.

And as they roll by in their
minivans, their children will

Weep burning tears of joy
at the sight of my front yard!

And they shall say,
"there!

There lives general skarr!

There lives..."
What?

What's that?

A weed?

A weed dares to sully my perfect
yard?

Well, we have ways of dealing
with you.

Ha.

The glove.

Yes.

That should take care of...
Hmm.

A bit tenacious, eh?

All right.

You force me to bring out the
big g*ns.

[Whirring]

Ok.

What am I doing again?

There.
That.

Get rid of it.

When did I become a lawn
service?

There's a glass of fresh
lemonade in it for you.

Ooh!

Hey, grim.

Are you practicing golf?

He's trying to get rid of
this weed.

Here.

Let me try.

Hey, you stupid weed,
you're stupid and ugly,

And your parents fought
'cause they hate you!

So, why don't you just scram?!

[Farts]
wait here.

Can I have that lemonade now?

[Gasps]
this will take care of that

Mean old weed.

Whoops.

Missed it.

[Screams]
my petunias!

Missed it again!

My jasmine!

Whoops.
Give me that scythe.

I'm going to k*ll him!

No way!

I'm the only one who gets to
use it.

Whoops.
Missed it again.

I just need it for a second!

Let go!

You're gonna break it!

Nuts!

Missed it again!

It's full of dangerous
supernatural energies.

Uh-oh!

Aagh!

Darn.

Missed it again.

Aagh!

Stop, drop, and roll!

Aagh!

Uh... Just, uh... Oh, boy.

I think I hear mandy calling me.

Put some tussin on.

You'll be fine.

Coming, mandy!

[Groaning] my... Yard.

My beautiful yard!

[Groaning]
mmm.

That must have been some party
last night.

What the...
My yard.

What happened?!

Oh.

I remember.

The wretched neighbor boy.

When I see him, I'll...
Hello.

What's this?

Oh.

That's just dandy.

My yard is in ruins and I'm a
chlorophyllic freak!

Now I'll never win the good
neighbor award.

Curses!

Curses!

Curses!

Huh?

Glorious!

This is a yard worthy of eden!

And now... Ha ha.

Get rid of that naughty boy
once and for all!

By, mom!

I'm going out to relieve
some gas!

Oh!

[Grunting]
oh, boy!

I shouldn't have had those


Ooh.

Oh, good thing this bush has
been following me.

[Unzips fly]
no!

[Grunting]
it's in my brain!

Hey, kid, you mind if we
borrow your pet bush?

We're vegetarians.

Knock yourselves out.

[Screaming]
so hungry.

[Burp]
excuse me.

♪ Walking through a swamp
helpless as can be ♪

Oh!

Aagh!

Oh, boy!

This looks like a great place to
lay my eggs.

Breathe, jeffrey.

Just like in lamaze.

[Gasping]
[panting]

[Groaning]
aah!

[Fart]
oh!

I'd better wrap them up for
safety.

Aagh!

[Muffled grunting]

Getting ahold of that brat is

Proving bothersome.

Mommy!

If only I had a convenient
excuse to throw a big party

So I could take care of him here
on my terms.

[Doorbell rings]

What do you want, ernest?

Ok, see,
I've got a good reason

Why you should throw a big
party!

Were you listening through my
window again?

Only for a few minutes.

By the way, your new drapes
are lovely.

Get to the point!

You've won the endsville good
neighbor award for having a

Beautiful yard!

Me?!

Aagh!

Won?!

Oh!

I can't believe the committee
bestowed this honor upon me.

I am the committee.

Oh.

Thank you very much.

Don't touch me.

Ok, see you later.

[Laughing manically]

Hey, billy.

Look what mysteriously arrived.

A leaf?

Let's see.

"Come celebrate my incredible
victory with a pool party..."

"This saturday at general
skarr's casa de verde."

"Live musical entertainment!"
"Smokehouse barbeque

And cold drinks provided," yo.

"Everyone is welcome..."

"Except vegetarians,
swamp things, and giant

Spiders."

Oh, man!

[Music playing]
this party is phat, yo.

Speaking of fat,
want another weiner schnitzel?

Mr. Skarr?

There's a candy bar in the pool!

Aah!

Billy!

And some other people.

I'm so glad you could come to my
little soiree!

I promise you you'll have a
k*ller time.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha.

[Laughter]
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You know, skarr,
there's something different

About you lately.

I can't quite squeeze my finger
on it.

Different?
Ha ha ha.

Hee hee hee.

It must be my healthy glow of
victory.

No.

It's your hair.

You finally got one.

Thank you all for coming
today.

Winning this magnificent award
means so many things to me.

It means I'm not just better
than all of you, but you are all

Lesser than me.

[Applause]
billy, how would you like to see

Something really special?

Oh, is it a lady covered in
ants wearing a loaf of bread as

A hat?

'Cause I'd really love to see
that, hmm?

Um...
Um, no.

It's over here.

Follow me.

Wow!

This is a cool spot!

At last!

I've got you!

Oh!
Look!

Look!

All this excitement has made me
start budding.

Are we playing tag?

It's sort of like tag.

And you're definitely it.

Good!

I like being it,
'cause when mandy is it,

She uses dobermans, and I don't
think that's fair!

I admit it was hard picking
the best way to finish you off.

So many choices...
Each more gruesome than

The next.

And then it hit me.

Why not go with
delicious irony?

What's all this crazy talk
got to do with tag?

I'm not talking about tag!

I'm talking about k*lling you.

Why would you want to do
that?

Because you ruined my garden.

And turned me into a freak of
nature!

Well...

You always were kind of a freak
anyways.

And your garden is better than
ever.

And now you gots hair.

So, what's the problem again?

Look, if I want to k*ll you,
that's my prerogative.

Ok?!

I'm just saying from a
logical point of view...

Shut up!

Now...

Prepare to become a thousand
tiny billy bits.

Help!
Help!

Grim, mandy!

Somebody help!

He's gonna mulch me!

Hurry!

Save me!

I hate you all!

Just remember:
this is what you get

For being a bad neighbor!

You're the one
trying to hurt me!

You're the bad neighbor!

You... You... Take that back!

I'm a good neighbor.

This award proves it!

See?
See?!

It says...
Oops.

My award!

[Metal grinding]
oh, that doesn't sound good.

Cool.

Fireworks.

Phew.

It's funny.

I had this foreboding feeling I
was going to be accidentally

Mulched.
Hmm.

Aagh!

Hello?!

Grim!

Mandy!

I'm really hungry.

Grandpa, is that you?

I'm back.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Sniffing]
wait.

Wait!

What are you doing!

No!

[Horns honking]

Ah.

I love bargain shopping
at costmo.

I wonder if they've got big
buckets of blood.

I'm running low.

Something makes me doubt
that, grim.

Hold it.
Up there.

Yes.

What is the deal with girls
and unicorns?

Pardon me, madam,
may I get that for you?

Knock yourself out.

[Panting]

Careful.

Don't break anything.

I'm certain everything's in
order.

Thank you.

You gotta love this store.

Hmm.

Something seams strange.

Oh, I don't know.

What's so strange about buying
ceramic unicorns in bulk?

I was talking about the
store, doofus.

But everything is so clean
and efficient.

Well organized.

That's just it.

It's usually chaotic.

I've never seen this place so
in order.

Remember what I taught you,
billy: when shopping at costmo,

You must always carry a list.

Keeps you focused so you don't
buy stupid crud...

And catch heck from the missus.

Eh?

I'm with you, papasan.

I got my list just like you
taughts me.

I'm super focused!

Oh!

Check out the scuba gear!

You're on your own, son.

I'm never alone
as long as I have my list!

Hey, irwin.

Hey, billy.

What brings you to aisle 23, yo?

I'm here to set free the
ba*ls.

Me, too, yo.

It's on my list.

Me, too!

Let's do it!

Go, little bouncy dudes.

You're free.

Free!

Come on, irwin.

Let's get out of here.

Tee hee hee hee hee.

Whoa!

Aagh!

Ok, now that was strange.

See what I'm saying?

There's suddenly too much order
in the universe.

[Tires squeal]
[screaming]

There.
You see?

That was totally out of order.

Who you calling out of order,
skinny?

I'm hoss delgado.

This is what I do.

Besides, it's right here on my
list.

Hmm.
What do you know?

He's right.

It's right here on the list.

Correcto.

And I never go shopping
without a list.

From chaos comes order.

Happens wherever I go,
ever since I started dating

Eris.
Eris?

Are you crazy?

Since when?

Since episode 47.

I'm picking up a spectral
disturbance on aisle 17.

Dude!

Hee hee hee hee.

This is gross, yo!

Mayonnaise makes my skin
all soft and touchable.

You're really sick, yo.

Freeze, you ectoplasmic
slimewads.

Did you say something, yo?

I got mayonnaise in my ears!

[Shuddering]

So, you want to play tough,

Eh?

Hold our fire, hoss.

Those are not ectoplasmic
slimewads you're sh**ting at.

That's a couple of shrimps
covered in mayonnaise.

Now, why the heck are they
covered in mayonnaise?

Dude... It's on the list,
yo!

I'm afraid I must be losing
my touch.

I haven't terminated a real
monster in months.

You mean, ever since you
started dating eris?

Come to think of it, yes.

Don't tell me you're in love.

Hoss delgado in love with
eris?

Hmm.

Baby-cakes!

Sweet cheeks!

Oh!

Ha ha ha.

Whoa!

Have I ever told you you're
beautiful when you're mad?

[Snarls]
aagh!

You've never truly been loved
until you've been eaten by a

Giant bug.

Rowr!

I may never grow up.

Yo.

She says I bring order to her
crazy life.

That's just it.

When you bring order to the
goddess of chaos, it throws

Everything out of whack.

How tight is that headband?

I'm afraid she's right, hoss.

First, you have no more monsters
to sh**t at.

Next, she'll be giving you a
makeover.

Makeover?
Me?!

Ha ha ha.

Well, that's just silly.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Of course, she did redecorate my
apartment.

And she has been messing with my
wardrobe.

Marvelous!

Fells kind of drafty.

All the gods are wearing
them.

I love it.

You look just like prometheus.

I feel like gluteus maximus.

She even rearranged my sock
drawer.

And she terminated my old
photographs.

Oh!

Gosh.

Suddenly I feel like
a... A... Big wuss?

Yeah!

Wuss delgado!

Ha ha ha ha.

[Laughter]
I know how to use this!

What must I do to restore my
hoss-hood?

You need to dump eris.

It's the only way.

But you don't know here like
I do.

She might not take it so well.

She... She might get mad.

Have you ever seen her mad?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

She gets really freaky, man!

Oh, no.

I'm not storming that beach
alone.

Maybe we can help.

Let me handle it.

I make a living delivering bad
news.

She's at the food court.

I'll be on aisle 5.

There you are, eris.

Ha ha ha.

Um, I'm afraid I have bad news
for you.

It's about that big blowhard
boyfriend of yours.

What's his name, uh, hoss?

Now, we both know he's not good
enough for you.

He wears a mullet.

Enough said.

[Roars]
mullets are good!

Aagh!

[Snarls]

Oh, my.

How chaotic.

I simply must learn to control
myself.

Now, let's see if this dress
matches lover boy's mullet.

[Humming]
did you see hoss delgado

Flirting with the trashy little
redhead on aisle 5, girlfriend?

Poor eris.

Yeah.

Poor eris.

That hoss, he's a butterfly.

May I help you?

Eris, baby-cakes.

Ha ha.

Oh, there you are.

Ha ha.

Hmm.

I've just been here buying in
bulk.

Can't get enough of these uh...

Gherkin pickles.

I love a good gherkin.

Just can't keep them around.

Ha ha ha.

Yeah.

Are you sure you haven't been
conoodling with a certain

Trashy little redhead?

No way.

How could you think that?

You know I only have eyes for
you, baby.

Oh, hoss.

How could I have been so
foolish.

Come to mama.

Aagh!

I'm afraid I might be losing my
resolve.

Snap out of it, man.

This is much bigger than hoss
delgado.

The world is almost completely
in order.

It's up to us to restore chaos.

Thanks.

I needed that.

Hey, pretty mama.

Get down.

Get funky, yo.

Get with it, doofus.

Ask her to dance.

You be popping, baby.

Let's boogaloo.

Whoa.
Whoa.

Whoa!

Come on now.
Shake it, baby.

Yeah!

Oh, whoa!

Oof.

I'll probably never hold hands
with anyone but you.

Now, what's going on here?

Hoss delgado is dumping your
bony butt.

We wanted to break it to you
gently.

Hoss... Dump me?!

We'll just see about that,
little man.

Hey!

Whoa!
Watch it!

Whoa!

Hoss!

You called, sugar dumpling?

Is there something you want
to tell me?

Did you know you can buy a


All right, I want to break up.

I need to fight nasty monsters
with drooling maws again.

And, besides, you're just not
the same crazy goddess of chaos

I fell in love with.

You're like... Normal.

[Screaming]
yeah, baby!

Who's your daddy?!

Aagh!

When a praying mantis devours
her mate, it's because she loves

Him.

When I do it, it means I'm
crazy!

Ha ha.

Ah ha ha ha.

[Dog barking]

Oh!

Here's where I left that silly
skull.

Come on.

I'll put you on mom's pillow
where you belong.