01x13 - Diary of a Mad Hatter/Keep It Under Your Hat

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

Now, Goldie, hold still. I'm almost done.

[Dinah meows]

Oh, Dinah, don't be jealous.

Oh, marshmallow. Now look what I've done.

[sighs]

It's hard enough to draw a picture
of a moving fish without your help.

Where did I put that eraser?

This is like looking
for a needle in a haystack.

I can't find anything in this mess.

Except I don't really feel
like cleaning it up.

I think I should go someplace
where nobody cares how messy my room is.

[mystical music playing]

[theme music playing]

♪ Hold on to your seat
Let's go for a ride ♪

♪ Now that we're here
On the other side ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Every day it's something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme, and a dance or two ♪

♪ It's a curious place
With a wonderful crew ♪

♪ And you're never quite sure
What they will do ♪

♪ Use your imagination
You'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

[upbeat music playing]

You know, Hatter,

your attic seems
to be getting a bit... full.

Maybe it's time
you did a little hat cleaning.

You know, you're right.

I'll look through all this stuff

and get rid
of all the things I don't need.

Oh, uh... [speaks indistinctly]

Oh.

Look, an old thimble.

Now, what possible use
could I have for that?

There, that's much better.

Boy, I can't tell you how good
it feels to get this place picked up.

Say, what's this?

I don't know.

Well, let's open it.

It's my great-grandhatter's diary.

A book in which he wrote
about his life and times.

It's a good thing we cleaned,
or you might never have found it.

Listen to this.

"Tuesday. I'm very worried.

There have been several robberies lately,

so I have decided to hide my treasure."

[both] Treasure?!

"If I hide it well,
I can keep it safe for my heirs."

Hares? Like me?

Not "hare," "heir."

An heir is a relative who comes after you.

Like if I have a son.

And he has twin daughters.

And they all have triplets.

Then I have a lot of heirs.

And a lot of birthday presents to buy.

How true that is.

But getting back to the treasure...

"The clues to the treasure
can be found in these pages."

I can't read the next part.
The words are all smeared and smudged.

Hatter, do you know what this means?

Yeah, my great-grandhatter
was writing with a leaky pen.

No, it means you're rich.

[both gasp]

[upbeat rumba music playing]

♪ With my newfound wealth ♪

♪ I could buy myself
Another attic ♪

♪ And maybe on a shelf ♪

♪ I could find myself
Another treasure map ♪

♪ Why, you could host
Two tea parties a day ♪

♪ With the money ♪

♪ But you mustn't boast ♪

-♪ Keep it hush-hush-hush ♪
-♪ Hush-hush-hush ♪

♪ About your good luck ♪

♪ And suddenly the world is mine ♪

[both] ♪ But first we have to find
The hidden treasure ♪

♪ Now, I could buy more dishes ♪

♪ And an extra teapot
For the Dormouse ♪

Yay!

♪ And I could put
Another story on my house ♪

♪ But that's another story ♪

♪ Well, suddenly the world is mine ♪

[both] ♪ But first we have to find
That hidden treasure ♪

Whoops.

Strange weather we're having.
It's raining books.

Looks like a really old book.

Well, let's see what it says.

"Tuesday. I'm very worried."

Excuse me. You didn't happen to see
an old book fly past here, did you?

"I've heard there have been
several robberies lately,

so I have decided to hide..."

There. My great-grandhatter's diary.

Here, I'll take it off your hands.
There's nothing interesting in it.

"...my treasure."

[Alice, Dee & Dum] Treasure?!

Okay, so there's
that one interesting part.

Your great-grandhatter left
a hidden treasure somewhere in Wonderland?

Well, that's what his diary says.
But I was hoping to keep it a secret.

Well, sorry, we didn't mean to snoop.

But don't worry.
Your secret is safe with us.

We promise.

But if you don't want
anybody else to know,

you better keep it under your hat.

Well, I-- I don't think it will fit.

No. "Keep it under your hat"
is just a saying.

It means don't tell anybody about it.

Don't tell anybody about what?

Uh, sorry, we can't say.

It's a secret.

Just between you, me and the teapot,
it's hush-hush.

After all, it wouldn't do
for all of Wonderland to know

that my great-grandhatter's diary contains
clues to a secret hidden treasure.

-Oops.
-Hidden treasure?

The queen must be notified at once.

But the diary belongs to the Hatter.

I know, but it specifically states
in the Wonderland Constitution:

Uh... [mumbling]

Yeah. Oh, no. Back here.
Oh, yes, there it is.

"All subjects
who find old diaries in their attics

which contain clues
to secret hidden treasures

must report directly to the queen."

So, you see...

I'm afraid it's entirely
out of my hands. [chuckles]

Yes, thank-- Thank you.

Oh, a hidden treasure.

How exciting.

And thank you
for deciding to share it with me.

Oh, thank you for giving me the idea.

I shall never forget your noble words.

"You better,
if you know what's good for you."

[chuckles] It was nothing.

What are queens for?

Oh, so, Your Majesty,

have you figured out the clues
to the hidden treasure?

Oh, yes, yes.

Uh... I mean, uh, sort of.

-Well, actually...
-Yes?

I can't make heads or tails of it.

Oh, of course.

It's perfectly clear to me.

Uh, but I don't want to take away the fun
of figuring it out from everyone else.

Oh. So, then, what you're saying
is that there's to be a, uh...

Oh! A treasure hunt.

-Oh!
-Good idea.

And I'll gladly share my treasure

as long as Your Majesty
doesn't mind sharing as well.

Me? Mind sharing?

Uh, of course not.

If there's one thing
you can always say about me,

it's that I'm generous to a fault.

[jazzy music playing]

♪ When I feel like givin' ♪

♪ I really wanna give it my all ♪

♪ I guess you'd say that I'm generous ♪

♪ To a fault ♪

♪ Well, they call it my regal manner ♪

♪ But I just can't keep
This feelin' inside ♪

♪ When I get this feelin' ♪

♪ There is nowhere for me to hide ♪

♪ Just because I'm a generous queen ♪

♪ You mustn't take advantage
Of my generosity ♪

♪ I'll give you all my clippings
From the yard or from the paper ♪

♪ I don't mind ♪

♪ I'll give you
All of yesterday's papers ♪

♪ Aren't I kind? ♪

♪ Oh, when I feel like givin' ♪

♪ I really wanna give it my all ♪

♪ I guess you'd say that I'm generous ♪

♪ To a fault ♪

♪ That's me all over ♪

[all chuckling]

Read the first clue, Your Majesty.

[clears throat]

"The key to the treasure

is in the hands
of whomever holds the diary.

Start at the tall tea tree."

Tell anyone who wants
to help me find the treasure

to meet me
at the tall tea tree in five minutes.

Oh, yes. Five minutes.

Let's see. Five minutes.
Let me write that down.

Right after-- And then...

Well, here's the tea tree.

It looks like a good crop this year.

Rabbit, read the next clue.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yes.

"Walk north, then east,
then south, then west.

Thirty paces each, no more.

At the end of all your wandering,

look behind the door."

North, east, south and west.

That means we have to walk
over there and there

and there and there.

But there's a door in the tree over there.
Why don't we just open it?

Because this is a treasure hunt.

We have to follow the clues.

Exactly.

Now, everyone start off
in different directions

so we have a better chance
of finding the treasure.

How do we know that's north?

Good point.
Hare, did you bring the compass?

Oh, yes, I always bring the compass.

Oh. [clears throat]

Keep turning, Hare.
Keep turning. Ah! There.

Now the compass needle shows me
that that is north.

If that is north,
then the opposite direction is south.

We'll start off that way.

Oh, I certainly don't need a compass
to find my way around Wonderland.

-Come, Rabbit. Let's head west.
-I, uh...

Mm-mm. [mumbles]

Oh. Oh, uh...

Oh. [clears throat]

[all] One, two, three, four...

There's something funny about that clue.

Maybe Crystal could help me figure it out.

[both] ...12, 13, 14...

[Mad Hatter & Hare] ...15, 16, 17...

-Hello.
-Good day.

-Goodbye.
-So long.

[all] ...18, 19...

[all] ...18, 19...

[both] ...eight, nine, ten...

[Dee & Dum] 11, 12, 13...

[Red Queen clears throat]

Thirteen, 13, 13...

[both] 14, 15, 16...

[both] ...five, six, seven...

Now what?

Need someone to lend a helping paw?

Allow me.

Eight, nine, ten,


Oh. Thank you.

No problem.

You can always count on me.

[both] Fourteen, 15...

Hi, Crystal.

Sorry to interrupt your movie,
but I've got a question.

[beeping]

Everyone is off on a treasure hunt,

and the clue they're following
doesn't make sense to me.

Can you help me out?

Okay. The clue is, "Walk north,
then east, then south, then west.

Thirty paces each, no more."

What do you think?

Oh. You want me to use this?

Okay.

Let's see. Thirty paces north.

The compass shows
that north is at the top of the map.

So I'll go up.

Okay.

Okay, now 30 paces east.

East is, um...

Oh, thank you, Crystal. East is this way.

And then south...

and west.

Hey.

When you go north, east, south and west
the same number of steps,

it's like walking in a square.

You end up right back where you started.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ I think I figured out
Something new when moving about ♪

♪ Say I walk three steps down
Stop and simply turn around ♪

♪ Three steps up is then my plan
And I'll be back where I began ♪

♪ Two hops right is where I hop ♪

♪ Then two hops left
And I'm back at the top ♪

♪ Wow, this is easy and this is fun ♪

♪ It works in the dark
And it works in the sun ♪

♪ Count your steps and you'll be knowin' ♪

♪ Whether you're comin'
Or whether you're goin' ♪

♪ Left, one, two, three ♪

♪ Right, three, two, one ♪

♪ Go opposite ways evenly ♪

♪ And end up where you had begun ♪

♪ I think I just now figured out
Something new when moving about ♪

♪ Two hops right is where I hop ♪

♪ Then two hops left
And I'm back at the top ♪

♪ Left, one, two, three ♪

♪ Right, three, two, one ♪

♪ Go opposite ways evenly ♪

♪ And end up where you had begun ♪

Thanks for clearing that up, Crystal.

See you around.

[exotic music playing]

[Red Queen] Oh.

Hello.

What brings you here?

Our feet, barely.

I didn't know Your Majesty enjoyed hiking.

Oh. We're not hiking.

We're on a treasure hunt.

At least, we were,

until someone lost count
on how many paces we'd paced.

I see.

Well, don't fret.

Losing one's way is a common problem.

My problems are never common.

Uh, of course, Your Majesty.

But I think you'll find
that finding things isn't hard

if you know where to look.

Once there was a dog
who lived with a nice family.

The dog loved his family,
and they loved him.

[woman] What a good doggy.

[Caterpillar] One day,
the family went out to do a few errands.

[door closes]

Like most dogs,
this one hated to be left alone.

He watched sadly as his family left.

The little dog waited and waited,

and finally realized his family was lost.

He set out to look for them.

His family was nowhere to be seen.

-[meows]
-Suddenly, he knew where to look.

[siren wails]

As he suspected,

they had been caught
by the people catcher.

So he paid their fine...

and they all went home,
where they lived happily ever after

and never left the little dog alone again.

Hmm. An amusing little puppy-dog tale.

Oh. [chuckles] Puppy-dog... Oh.

But I'm afraid we must be going.

We have a treasure to find.

If we could figure out which way to go.

Actually, Your Majesty,
now that I've had a moment to think...

[chuckles]

...I just remembered,
we were up to 20 paces east.

That means
we only have to go ten paces more,

then turn south for 30 paces,
and we'll find the treasure.

Fine. Ten paces east.

Let's go.

Uh, Your Majesty?

I believe east is that way.

Right. I knew that.

Right-o.

[all] ...27, 28,

[all] ...27, 28,


We've gotta stop meeting like this.

[Alice] Hey, you guys,
I figured out the clue!

You end up right where you...

started.

We solved the clue too.

Well, I see that.

Anyway, we're here,
so let's go get the treasure.

Wait. I believe there's another clue.

But the last clue said
to just open the door.

Please, Alice,
we're anxious to find the treasure too,

but the last clue may be important.

Plus, my great-grandhatter went
to a lot of trouble hiding his treasure.

The least we can do
is go to a lot of trouble finding it.

Yeah-- Yes. Uh-- [clears throat]

"Look in the trunk,

which is guarded
by someone of great height.

But don't be afraid.

His bark's worse than his bite."

Hmm. That's a tough one.

Okay, okay.

"Look in the trunk"
doesn't mean trunk like a suitcase.

"Trunk" can also mean the trunk of a tree.

And "someone of great height"
could mean the tree also,

because it's very tall.

Uh, but what about that last part,
"His bark's worse than his bite"?

So much for that idea.

Trees don't bite.

-They don't even have teeth.
-Yeah.

Okay, trees don't bite,
and they don't bark like a dog.

But they do have bark.

Alice, I think you're right.

The treasure must be
in that tree over there.

Great. So now can we open the door?

Of course. Let's go.

Just as soon as we figure out
how to get past the booby trap.

The booby trap?

Of course.

My great-grandhatter
would never stick his treasure

in some silly old tree plain as day
without setting a booby trap.

Did you think he was mad?

Yes.

Actually, I did.

Certainly not.

I'll bet anything
that tree is brilliantly booby-trapped.

We better keep an eye out.

I think I'll keep both of mine in.

All right. This could be dangerous.

So I'll be looking for volunteers.

Oh. You, you, you,

you, you and you.

-Next we need a plan.
-Right.

[all murmuring indistinctly]

[all] Let's go!

And hey.

Let's be careful out there.

[all] Break!

[suspenseful music playing]

[all gasp]

Uh-oh.

That's it? That's the big booby trap?

That deserves the booby prize.

Maybe my great-grandhatter
wasn't so brilliant after all.

No, but I bet he was great
in the treasure department.

Come on, let's go.

-Oh, yes.
-Come, come.

-I'm so excited.
-Okay.

[all gasp]

Look, there's a trunk inside the trunk.

[all clamoring]

-Go, go.
-Come on, let's open it!

All right!

Come on, let's open it.

I can't.

What, is there another clue to read?

No. I just don't have the key.

Oh, well. So we can't have the treasure.

At least we have this lovely
and decorative trunk.

[groans]

Wait, Your Majesty.

Read the first line in the diary again.

"The key to the treasure

is in the hands
of whomever holds the diary."

So? We've already read all the clues.

No. Not "key" like an important clue.

I think they mean
the metal key that opens the diary

is the same key that opens the trunk.

-[all gasp]
-Let's see.

The key.

Well, gee.

Let me.

[all gasp]

I'll be!

Your Majesty,

uh, would you care to do the honors?

Oh, yes.

Okay.

[all gasp]

It's-- It's amazing.

It's fantastic.

It's hats.

Harrumph. If that doesn't top everything.

[upbeat music playing]

[all] ♪ Everyone put your hats on ♪

♪ Oh, what a lucky day ♪

♪ To wear a hat is so much fun ♪

♪ Hip-hip-hip hooray ♪

♪ I think I'll take that derby ♪

♪ It suits me just fine ♪

♪ You'll have your pick, don't worry ♪

♪ But of course, the top hat's mine ♪

[all] ♪ Hats, hats, hats ♪

♪ There is nothing we like more
Than wearing hats ♪

♪ One thing can be said to folks
With hats upon their heads ♪

♪ That tops everything ♪

♪ For Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum ♪

♪ A couple of berets ♪

[all] ♪ To wear a hat is always fun ♪

♪ Hip-hip-hip hooray ♪

[all] ♪ Hats, hats, hats ♪

♪ There is nothing we like more
Than wearing hats ♪

♪ Even when in bed
I wear a hat upon my head ♪

[all] ♪ That tops everything ♪

Off with their hats!

Harrumph.

It's not the kind of treasure
I had in mind.

Here, Your Majesty.

Try this on.

[all] Ooh.

[Rabbit] Uh, yes.

But I guess it'll do. [chuckles]

[all laughing and chattering]

[mystical music playing]

Well, Dinah, sorry to disturb you,

-but I've gotta get this room picked up.
-[meows]

And even if cleaning my room isn't
the greatest way to spend an afternoon,

it's the only way
I'm gonna find my lost eraser.

And who knows?

I might even find
some lost treasure in this mess.

[theme music playing]

♪ That's all for now
But we'll see you again ♪

♪ Come back real soon
Now that we're all friends ♪

♪ Where every day is something new ♪

♪ With music, rhyme, and a dance or two ♪

♪ Use your imagination
And you'll understand ♪

♪ It's an adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventure in Wonderland ♪

♪ Adventures in Wonderland ♪