02x15 - Toon for a Day

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go--
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-No ifs and's or but buts ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay I gotta go go oh no ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back ♪
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're--
-Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers
-Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

[Tom Drivel] This is Tom Drivel reporting
from the Hollywood Police Station,

scene of the manhunt for Wildman Wyatt.

Sergeant Francis Grating,
can you tell us--

Aaaahuck!

Never, ever call me Francis.

Uh, I mean you never, ever need to doubt
the efficiency of this police department.

There, Miranda, just like in the old west.

I don't think
this isn't what Grating meant

when he told us to cover our beat.

Don't worry about a thing.

It worked great on High Noon for Bonkers.

Yuck... patooie!

These posters sure are lifelike.

Ugh! Aah! I'll show you lifelike.

Whoa! Oww!

Freeze, handsome!

Uhh!

A toon cop. [chuckles] What a joke.

I'll go there. You go around the block.

That'll work.

[panting]

Boy, am I outta shape.

You miss one aerobics class,
and you're pudding.

Freeze, Wyatt!

[grunts] Yeah, you're not going
anywhere! Whoa!

[both screaming]

My officers will stick
to Wyatt's trail like glue.

Watch it! Whoa!

I've got you now, wy-iieeee...

Wildman Wyatt!

You're under arrest!

Hi, Miranda. Bye, Miranda.

Street amoeba like you never learn.

When you mess with Grating,
you get burned.

I'll get you, copper.

Just wait.

[chuckles]

Hey, you got him, sarge!

This capture was made possible
by the amazing talents

of police sergeant Francis Q. Gra--

Never, ever call me Francis!

Wait. Everybody watch.

This is the best part.

Yep, too bad there aren't
more officers like me around here.

[Tom Drivel] For capturing Wildman Wyatt,
Sergeant Grating will receive

a medal of honor
from Police Chief Kanifky, tonight.

When did they start giving
medals for stealing credit?

[announcer] We now return
to the Bucky Buzzsaw Show.

[Bucky] Whoopiddy woo hoo!

Oh, boy! I love this guy! Funny!

Twigs and splinters, shiver my timbers!

It's ranger Roger! Naughty-naughty.

You shouldn't leave your
g*n barrel untied.

[chomp] Whoopiddy woo hoo!

Ta-ta-ta timberrrr!

[laughter]

Out!

But, Sarge, get a load of Bucky's style,
his fancy footwork.

I'll show you fancy footwork.

Whoa!

Sarge?

Sarge! Can you hear me?

He needs a first-aid kit. I'll get it.

I'm Bucky Buzzsaw! Whoopiddy woo hoo!

Whoopiddy woo woo!

Hey, that's good, Sarge.
You sound just like Bucky!

Sorta, kind of.

I am Bucky!

Whoopiddy woo woo.

Wow. One bump on the head,
and you're funny.

Bonkers? Sarge?

[bell clangs]

♪ Get rompin' at the rubber room ♪

♪ You know we just can't stop ♪

♪ Hip hoppin' at the greasy spoon ♪

♪ And when the bullie boys get crackin' ♪

♪ No time for nappin',
anything can happen ♪

♪ Zip zam zoom
Rompin' at the rubber ♪

♪ Bip bam boom
Baby don't you blubber ♪

♪ Things are really rockin' at
The rubba-bubba-bubber room ♪♪

I've tried to get you to come
to the Rubber Room for a long time, Sarge.

Bucky!

Whatever you say, Bucky.

Uh... peanuts! Dynamite sticks!

One dynamite stick, please,

lit.

Have a cigar, buddy?

But I don't smoke.

And neither should you, kids.

The surgeon general has determined

it's unhealthy to smoke
cigarettes, cigars, and...

dynamite?

Watch this.

Oh, yeah? Well, watch this.

Huh?

Look out!

Uh-oh.

For a second there,
I thought I was a gon...

...ner.

Sarge, what are you doing, sir?

Whoopiddy woo woo!

That bump on the head made Sarge think
he's Bucky Buzzsaw. Great, huh?

I love low humor!

Bonkers, this is serious.

Sarge isn't a toon.

Bonkers, he could get hurt... permanently.

Ohhhh. Sarge wouldn't
survive that, would he?

Don't worry, Miranda.
I'll keep an eye on the sarge...

as soon as I find him.

That awards ceremony is in two hours.

[sarge] Whoopiddy woo woo!
Whoopiddy woo woo!

[Duck Jones] Bucky?
Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, Bucky?

Bucky buuuzzzz-saawwww!

That's my cue!

On the set, on the double, Bucky!

Whoopiddy woo woo! Here I am!

Who are you?

C'mon, Ducky.

It's me, Bucky!

Gruesome!

Heh heh. Uh... fabulous
horror costume, Bucky.

Makeup!

Oh, much better.

Heh heh. Okay.

Places, everybody!

[Duck Jones] All right, Bucky baby.

In this scene, you're minding your own
business when Ranger Roger shows up.

Then comes total carnage, okay?

[Duck Jones] And... action!

[snoring] Tsk. tsk. Loitering again,
Buck... yeee!

Whoa. Great makeup.

[coughing] A ticket for loitering?

You know the code of the forest,
Bucky, 90210.

No. That's Beverly Hills' zip code.

The forest is 47530.

Or was that 60859?

[crash]

All right for you, Bucky.
Here's another for littering.

I'm sorry. I've been
such a bad boy, Roger.

So I'm gonna make it up to you.

I'm gonna plant an entire tree
in your honor.

Oh, Bucky!

It's truly bee-yoo-tee-ful!

You're the greatest, pal.

I'm so happy, I could kiss you.

The feeling's mutual,
from one sapling to another.

Whoopiddy woo woo!

[laughing] What's the matter, Roger?

Stuck on yourself?

You're such a naughty boy.

And you're such a knotty head.

[smacking lips] Eep!

[clink clink]

Timber, Ranger Roger!

You know what's at the root
of your problem?

Me.

Why don't you make like a tree and leaf?

I've gotta give the sarge credit.
He would've been a great toon.

[Duck Jones] Cut! Print it!
Brilliant, Bucky!

Of course it was brilliant.
I'm Bucky Buzzsaw.

C'mon, Bonkers. We need professional help.

And I know just the professional.

I'm right behind you, Miranda.

Well, I'm no expert on humans,
but I'll try.

Now, lemme see what the problem is here.

The problem is--

Young lady, please.
Scientist at work here.

Now, den, you kooky-type person,

what do you see?

One really nice set of choppers.

Wrong. It's a mirror.

[mirror breaks] Boy, you is worse
than I thought.

I think we need to test the reflexes.

Owie.

Young man, you got lousy reflexes,
but I like your birdies.

Vell, maybe da vienna
vater test vill vork.

[screaming]

Bonkers!

[splash] Whoopity woo woo!

Now I'm mad.

You're not a toon. You're the sarge,
the sarge, the sarge!

-Excuse me, young man.
-Yes?

I may have da answer to your problem.

After careful examination of all da facts,
I come to only one conclusion.

Dis man dinks he's Bucky Buzzsaw.

[both] We could have told you that!

Then you shouldn't have bothered me.

I'm a serious scientist.

But what do we do about it?

We can snip him back to reality.

We hit him over the head with that.

[Bonkers] That could be a bad thing.

No you can't do that to him.
He's not a toon.

We'll be leaving now.

you know this is gonna come
as a shock to the real Bucky.

The real Bucky! Of course.

Ahh. Home.

Sarge, I'd like you to meet
my good friend,

Bucky Buzzsaw.

Hey, where'd you get this joker?

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Bucky Buzzsaw is my name,
and busting chops is my game.

Boy, I got more imitators than Elvis.

But he is the real Bucky Buzzsaw.

Oh, yeah?

Hold on to your splinters, copper.

Ta-da!

Wow.

He's really good.

Let's see you do that, shorty.

I could, but I'd rather do this.

Ta-ta-ta-timber!

[Bucky] Uh-oh.

[screaming]

Look! A flying squirrel.
Whoopiddy woo woo!

Wow. He's really good, too.

Yeah. He's sure got
Ranger Roger convinced.

Ah, come on, Roger. You can climb down.
I won't hurt you.

[alarm rings]

Uh-oh. Time for the awards ceremony.

Let me get him!

Great. What's the media
gonna make of an officer

with an overbite and a big axe?

Look at the bright side.
Things could be worse.

[sirens]

[whistles]

Taxi!

[brakes screech]

Police headquarters. And step on it.

[tires screech]

When I get my hands on that Grating
Copper that arrested me,

I'll m*ssacre him.

Hmm, I must be losing my bite.

Maybe this won't be bad. If Grating makes
a scene, he'll get a section 8.

We'll get a new sarge.

We can't give up on sarge.

Okay, Okay, but how are you gonna
keep him from acting like psycho rodent?

Acting! That's it!
That's how we'll save the sarge!

It is I, the famous cartoon director,

Duck Jones! Duck Jones?

Bucky, today
you're playing a police sergeant

receiving a medal for nabbing
a feared criminal.

A dramatic role? Me? Nah.

You can do it, Bucky baby.

[crowd murmuring]

Ahem. We're here in this room
to honor a man-- nice fellow, too--

who captured public enemy number one...

Sergeant Grating.

[applause]

Sergeant, for courage
in the face of duty and honor,

we award you this, er--er--er... award.

Say, I think it would look better on you,
Ranger Roger.

Hmm.

Nope.

Uh, I changed my mind.

-[gasps]
-[Miranda] What?

You said this would work.

Who had time to rehearse?

Um... yes. Very funny, sergeant.

Don't look now, Roger,
but you're out of uniform.

Aah. Good thing the chief likes toons.

Not that much.

Whoopiddy woo woo!

Why, I--you--I-- you're no Bonkers!

This is outrageous, that's what it is!

Nobody gets away with
a medal for nabbing me.

Well, lookie what I found.

What's the buzz, bub?

Naughty-naughty.

Wyatt!

Say your last goodbye.

Goodbye? So soon?

How did he get here?

May be he took a taxi?

We were just getting to know each other.

h* well be sure to write.

Thanks, I will. Goodbye.

Hey!

You shouldn't leave
your g*n barrel untied.

Uhh!

New gag.

[grunting]

Whoopidy woo woo!

I'll whoopidy woo you!

Twigs and splinters,
he's fixin' to skin me!

Freeze, Wyatt!

Double freeze!

Ha ha! A fish?

Never trust a mackerel.

Drop it, or the toon gets it.

Ta-ta-ta timber!

[shouting]

-Bonkers?
-Here, Miranda.

Boy, the full weight of the law
is really, really heavy.

Hey, that was my favorite statue!
Sergeant Grating,

w-w-w-what's the meaning
of all this, uh, hooey?

Um, sir, amazing police work
by the sarge, don't you think?

Huh?

I mean, wasn't it genius for sergeant

grating to adopt this bizarre
personality...

Whoopiddy woo woo!

To throw Wyatt off guard
so he could recapture him?

Well, well, we--my, my.
now that you mention it, yes, it was.

Miranda, that was good of you.

I'll probably regret it later,
but he did make the collar this time.

Well, I guess you deserve
another congratulations, Francis.

Francis? Francis? Francis?
Francis? Francis? Francis?

Whoopiddy woo hoo!

Never, ever call me Francis!

What did you say?

Uh... excuse me, sir. Uh, sorry, sir.

Once again, Sergeant Francis Grating

is credited with the capture
of Wildman Wyatt.

Looks like Sarge got
the attention he wanted.

But somehow I don't think
this is what he had in mind.

[everyone laughing]

Nice moves, Sarge, but you need a little
help on the footwork.

Bonkers!

[theme song playing]