01x19 - Poltertoon

[bunniefuu]

♪ Once upon a time in Toontown ♪

♪ There was a cat that had it all ♪

♪ Fortune and fame, top of the game ♪

♪ Up until he hit the wall ♪

♪ Now he makes a livin' downtown ♪

♪ Walkin' on a brand new beat ♪

♪ Slippin' through the new day
Trippin' on a two-way ♪

♪ Ticket down a one-way street
Beep beep beep ♪

♪ Who's that cat ♪

[siren]

♪ Crackin' up crime? ♪

♪ Stoppin' the clock ♪

[clock ticking]

♪ Hope he gets here on time ♪

[old car horn]

-♪ Let's go-- ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Yeah! Totally nuts ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ No ifs, ands or but buts ♪

- ♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Someone's stealin' the show ♪

♪ Can't stay, I gotta go, go! Oh, no! ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Things gettin' outta control ♪

♪ Now you're caught in a trap
Ready to snap ♪

♪ Snappin' the cap
And you're takin' the rap ♪

♪ But ya can't hold back
That wacky attack ♪

♪ That's why you're still a star ♪

-♪ 'Cause you're-- ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

-♪ Bonkers ♪
-♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

♪ Wherever you-- wherever you--
Wherever you-- ♪

♪ Wherever you are ♪

♪ Bonkers ♪

[dog barking in the distance]

-[breeze blowing]
-[tinkling]

Hmm.

It says most people get
so absorbed in what they're doing,

they pay no attention
to what's happening around them.

Well, I don't believe that.

-Do you, Marilyn?
-[Marilyn] H-huh?

Did you say something, Mom?

Hmm?

Oh, nothing important.

Milk?

Coffee?

Better check the attic for drafts again.

We just did.

Oh!

Wind.

[both gasp]

Hey, did you see that?

-Oh, wow!
-[objects whirling]

[giggling]

-[spinning]
-Cool!

[xylophone sound]

[shuffling]

What's goin' on?

[ringing]

Toon division. Piquel.

Hi, honey.

Hmm? what do you mean, come home?
I just got to work.

Oh! Honey, slow down.

Hey!

Something must have startled him.

[grumbling]

Bonkers, can't you ever just
walk quietly into a room?

Sure. I'll show you.

What's that now?

A ghost?

A ghost? Where? Where?

[sighs] Why do I bother?

So, tryin' to hurt my partner, eh?
And invading official police premises, eh?

Well, I'm ready for ya.

I didn't see Nightmare On Phlegm
Street IV three times for nothin'!

Dyl, what's up?

Everything's up. That's fun--

No, no, no, I'm not laughin'.

No, really. I--

You don't say?

Now you know there's no such
thing as a ghost. Come on!

Ah, there's got to be
a reasonable explanation for--

All right. I'll be right home.

[shouting]

Hey, I got some of this for you!

Whoo-hoo!

-[crashes]
-Oh, man!

Will you take that and that!
I'm not done with--

Where you goin'?

Home. Dyl says there's a ghost.

-[Bonkers gasps]
-What are you doin'?

Goin' with ya.

You think I'd leave you
alone at a time like this?

A time like what?

Oh! They've got your wife
and daughter in the clutches

of a gook-dripping, blood-sucking,

probably blood-curdling, heartbreaking--

-There's no such things as ghosts!
-[crashes]

[Bonkers exasperated] What can we do?

Oh, God! [sobbing]

Cut it out, Bonkers! [mumbles]

Stop! Will you stop clinging!
You're wrinkling my polyester.

-I'm here for you, big guy.
-Let go of my sleeve.

-Everything's fine.
-[Bonkers] On the outside.

Enough already!

[sighs]

-Dyl? Marilyn? I'm home.
-[Bonkers yelling]

Aha!

Well?

Maybe we got the wrong address?

Yikes!

[teeth chatter] This is the right address.

Will you stop that?
That was just the wind.

[grunts] Sure. I knew that. The wind.

[gasps] Is that the wind too? [screams]

Oh, man.

Ow!

Ghosts, huh?

Lucky, no. It wasn't me. It was him.

That and that... and then...

then I saw it and--

And nothing!

I'm going back to work.

Why'd you do that?

I didn't. It must have been the
g-g-g [stammering]

I don't want to hear the "g" word!

But it's got Dyl and Marilyn!

[Lucky] Dyl and Marilyn are fine!

This whole thing's one big joke.

[gulp]

If that's a joke, why am I not laughing?

-[whirring]
-[Lucky gasps]

[crash]

Marilyn?

Hi, Dad! [laughing] Bonkers, look at me!

Oh, Lucky! Oh thank goodness you're here.

All right. Fine.

What's goin' on around here?

We've got our very own ghost!

See? I told you!

Will you let me go?
There's no such thing as ghosts.

-[dings]
-[pops]

[munching]

[burp]

Then what do you call that...
waxy buildup?

A freak hurricane.

Inside the house?

[doors slamming]

Okay, a tornado.

In Hollywood?

Sunspots, then!

[Marilyn] Oh, Daddy!

You got me there.

Lucky, face it, the house is haunted.

No way.

[Bonkers] But if it isn't haunted,
that couch has great shocks.

[screaming]

[grunts]

Now, what do you call that?

Uh... pain?

It's a toon trick.

-Was not.
-Was too.

-Was not.
-Was too.

[continue arguing]

-It's a ghost!
-There's no such thing as ghosts!

-[gasps]
-[screaming]

Hey! Hey! Put me down!

[shouts]

[spooky laugh]

A ghost!

We got a ghost in the house! [mumbling]

We got to do something! [stammering]

We got a ghost!

Who you going to call?

[cash register bell rings]

[all] Nah!

Hey!

[vacuum whirring]

[telephone ringing]

I'll get it!

What?

Oh! Hello, chief.

Hello, Detective Piquel.

-I've got great news for you.
-[drilling]

What with our kitchen being remodeled
and completely unusable--

[coughs]

well, you know how it is
when you're remodeling a room.

-I do.
-[objects crashing]

Believe me.

Well, I've decided
this is an excellent time

to kick off my new "get to know
your officers" month.

Every morning till my kitchen's done,
I'll pull the name of some lucky officer

out of a hat,

and he or she gets to have
me over for dinner!

And guess whose name I picked?

Yours! [chuckling]

So, what time would you like me there?
[crash]

Piquel?

Piquel, you there?

[objects whirring]

Lucky, say something!

Anything!

Even if it's rude and nasty
and bothers me a little.

Cut it out! [sputtering] Slime!

That's my partner.

Oh, Lucky. Thank goodness
you're all right.

Yeah. I thought we're gonna
have to carry you to the couch.

Quick! We got to clean this place up!

Why? The ghost'll mess it up again.

[nervous laugh] Because...

Because...

The chief's comin' to dinner! That's why!

[clatters]

The chief?

Lucky, this is your big break!

Your chance to wow the big boss!

Make the big points!
Get that big promotion!

Promotion?

We've got a ghost in here.

If that chief walks in, I'll be lucky
if I don't get promoted to the mailroom!

Not true.

[buzzing]

Okay. True.

-[telephone rings]
-[gasps]

M-maybe it's the chief.

Maybe he's not comin' after all.

[clears throat] Yes?

Yes, sir, chief, sir!

Have you changed your mind
about tonight, sir?

'cause if you have, I'll understand.

Vacuum cleaner exploded.
Dust all over the place.

Dyl's broken her fingernails.
Can't cook without 'em.

So, uh, it's okay to back out.
You won't hurt my feelings.

No, really. I mean that. Honestly.
[laughs nervously]

Huh?

Oh contrary, Piquel.

I wouldn't dream of backing out.

As a matter of fact, I was calling to find
out if I could bring the wife.

You know how it is. If I leave her home,
she'll feel left out.

The dog will too.

You don't mind if we bring Fluffy, do you?

Oh, and about the cooking,
don't worry about a thing.

We'll just bring our chef.

Works kitchen magic.

Your taste buds will never be the same.

-Piquel?
-[chomping]

Piquel, you there?

What should we do?

Get rid of the telephone?

[splash]

Ah! This is not going to work.

If we don't get rid of this ghost
by tonight, I'm finished!

I know who can help us.

Fall-Apart Rabbit!

Be right back!

[birds chirping]

[eerie music]

-[door bursts open]
-[Piquels shouting]

Ghostfighters at your service!

Wow! What are you guys gonna do?

First, we have to locate the
alleged ghost.

I need silence.

This is very sensitive
technical equipment.

[clawing]

[scratching]

-[cat meows]
-[howls]

Did you have to do that?

Ghosts hate that stuff. Drives them crazy.

They're not the only ones.

-[beeping]
-Aha!

The phantom is behind the sofa.

Gotcha!

Yikes! [screaming]

Aah! Ghosts!

Take it easy, sweetheart.

Don't worry, Fall-Apart.
I got a ghost in sight.

Oh, now we're really getting high-tech.

[reel spinning]

Aah!

Now we got you, Mr. poltergeist person!
Bad guy you.

-[squeaking]
-[Bonkers] Oops.

Well, now what are you gonna do?

Why, [stammering] we're going to...
we're going to--

-W-what are we going to do?
-Powder.

We're gonna take a powder--

[stammers] Take a powder?

We are going to powder the floor so we can
pick up the ghost's footprints, Watson.

Then we can track him down and stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're gonna do.

-Then what?
-I don't know.

-I haven't gotten that far yet.
-Oh, I'm doomed.

Oh. Now, Lucky, you can't give up.

How about some nice, hot tea?

If I can pull a cup down from the ceiling.
Are you coming, Marilyn?

I'm going to stay and watch
the Ghostfighters.

They may need my help.

You'd better stand clear, Miss.

This could get rough.

Yeah, it can get... it can?

One never knows.

Ghosts can be so... unpredictable.

[Marilyn] No kidding?

How many ghosts have you fought?

Counting this guy?
Uh, let me... [mumbling]

One.

Hey, how hard could it be?

There's one of him and two of us.

[Marilyn] Three!

Nice getup!

A girl needs to know how to coordinate.

So true.

Okay, fellow Ghostfighters,
start sprinklin'!

[hissing]

Oh! Look! Footprints everywhere!

Guys... I think they're ours.

-Oh.
-Oh.

Look! New footprints!

[Fall-Apart] Those aren't ours.

It must be...

-[all together] The ghost!
-[bell ringing]

[shoes squeaking]

On three.

Three!

Just get him! Grab his ankles!

[Marilyn]
I didn't know ghosts have ankles.

[door creaking]

Sorry, Dad.

I thought you went
into the kitchen for tea.

I did!

But the teapot was in the closet.

Imagine that. [nervous laugh]

[panting]

We have got to get rid of this ghost!

That's it!

What? What did I say?

Ghost! We bring in another
ghost to catch this one!

Sure. Just bring in another--

what?

-You don't mean...
-Uh-huh.

Elmo!

-Brilliant!
-I know.

-Pure genius.
-Right again.

-He'll know exactly what to do.
-Piece of cake.

-[mumbles gibberish]
-Who's Elmo?

An old showbiz pal.

Best toon ghost in the business.

One ghost in the house isn't enough.

Now we need two?

[crashes]

For our person we can always put
our ghostfighting outfits back on.

-Call Elmo.
-I'll get him.

I don't even want to ask this.
How do you know where to look?

I'll check his usual haunts.

Right.

Well... did you catch the ghost?

I'll take that as a no.

[spooky scream]

[doorbell rings]

It must be Fall-Apart and Elmo.

We're here!

-[growls]
-[gulps]

[chief] Piquel and Mrs. Piquel.

Good evening, sir.
Uh, why don't we go to the dining room?

-You remember Francine?
-Hello!

-Oh!
-[chief] and our chef.

Hmm. I trust you have
the appropriate ingredients.

[Lucky] Uh, yeah, sure.
Knock yourself out.

Everything you need
is in the kitchen, Cookie.

-Oh, poor little guy. Must be hungry.
-[dog panting]

[growls]

Oh, that artwork!
It's so, so, so different!

Contemporary or modern?

-Uh, yes.
-Oh! [giggles]

This could be a long evening.

Wait till you taste dinner.

The chef makes a meal
that'll knock your socks off.

Hey!

Um, hey!

I can't wait to taste his cooking.

Oh, the man's a genius.

Bakes a cream pie
that'll make your mouth water.

[whining]

[spluttering]

Roof leaks. [chuckles]

Nice save.

Better get that fixed.

Oh and his Squid Supreme!

You'll get a real kick out of it.

Oh no.

[crashing]

[chuckles] A mosquito bite.

[chief] I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!

-[siren blaring]
-Duck!

Duck? Delightful idea.

I'll speak to the chef.

[chef] Horse. Duck.

Do they expect me to change
the menu every five minutes?

-[gasps]
-[chicken squeaks]

If they'd rather have chicken,
all they had to do was tell me.

Why don't you people make up your minds?

I've always told Francine,

just give me good company
and a nice, quiet evening

and I'm as happy as a pig in mud.

Isn't that right, dear?

Yes, Leonard.

Well, we always try to make
our guests feel right at home.

[nervous laugh]

[whizzing]

-[clinks]
-Cool!

[chuckles] Boy, that Bonkers, huh?

Always reminding us when
to turn the lights off.

That's what I like to see in my officers.

Ingenuity.

Here we went out and bought timers.

[clattering]

-[whimpers]
-[object clangs]

Fluffykins!

So... you want a treat, eh? [jingling]

Well, forget it! There's nothing
in this fridge but leftovers.

What do you people expect me to do?

Pull a meal out of thin air? Ow!

Why can't you beg like other dogs?

I wonder where dinner is?

-I wonder where Elmo is.
-[doorbell rings]

I'll get it!

Fall-Apart, where is he?

This is show business, kids.
Entrance is everything.

Elmo. At last!

No. I've always been Elmo.

Oh, listen. You, uh,
got a ghost around here?

-Do we ever!
-Uh, certainly. Okay, okay, let's go.

Hmm. Mm-hmm. I see.

-Oh h*!
-What did you find?

Why, the color scheme
really opens up this room.

[soft music plays]

If we could proceed?

Uh, why, certainly. Follow me.

I've found the problem.

-What is it, Elmo?
-There's a ghost in this house.

[spooky voice] I could have told you that.

[gleeful laughing]

We're not afraid of you.

You can't hurt us... now that Elmo's here.

[gasps]

Of course, I've been wrong
about these things before.

[upbeat music plays]

Eeyah!

[hoots]

[grunting and hooting]

What's that?

Just, uh, warmin' up the after dinner
entertainment.

[loud crash]

Ooh! Sounds exciting!

[Fall-Apart] What is going on here?

We are doing a dance step.

Kids, don't try this at home unless
you're with a trained professional.

[singing] Elmo, what should we do?

Lead with the left foot and then
take a dip.

Cheese b*mb Gumbo!

Poached Hot Dogs Supreme!

And for dessert,

re-puffed poulet with green squirtays
and don't forget to floss!

Did we forget to pay him again?

[Bonkers laughs]

Wow! A real live ghost!

G-g-g-ghost?

Oh, God!

Hey!

[giggling] Stop that.

Stop that! [laughing]

Francine, wake up!

You're missing the show.

[spooky voice] You mean you... like it?

He likes it! He likes it!

[humming]

I thought I saw a g-g-g-ghost.

Say, uh, you got any pancakes?

Aah!

Elmo, the ghost, remember?

[spooky voice] Yes. Remember me?

-Louie?
-Louie?

Louie?

Now we've got two ghosts!

Yes!

Oh, I just love your horror flicks!

Me too. They make me scream my head off,

then I have to go look for it, of course.

Ah! Long time no scream.

Why didn't you tell us it was you?

Didn't want to ruin my screen test.

Screen test?

My agent said there's a big part
in The Ghosts of Navarone

and to get down to the studio.

But when I saw they'd already hired
the number one spookmeister here--

are you the director?

How did I do? How did I do?

Wonderful, my boy!

-You--
-[clears throat loudly]

The studio is two blocks down.

You mean this isn't 81-81?

Oh!

"18-18." [giggles]

-Never mind.
-[chief laughing]

Bravo! Bravo!

Wonderful show!

Listen to that applause.

Kid, you remind me of a great
talent from the old days.

Really? Who?

Oh, don't be ridiculous. Me.

You know you got what it takes, kid.

Timing needs some polish
but, uh, we can certainly work on it.

You'd do that for me?

Well let's go down to the studio
and, uh, show them how it's done.

[Louie] Oh, gee, Elmo. Thanks.

Piquel, you sly dog!

-[growls]
-Sorry, Fluffy.

Just for this,
I've got a promotion in mind.

-P-promotion?
-[chief] That's right!

Detective Piquel,
I hereby promote you to Chief--

You got it!

Entertainment Coordinator
for the police talent show!

-You don't get it.
-And to kick it off,

why don't you repeat tonight's show
for all the other officers?

[thud]

Piquel?

[slurps]

-[growls]
-[barks]

[theme music playing]