03x04 - A Bridge Too Far

[bunniefuu]

the boys from the balkans had turned the

sight into a battleground

and there was other stuff going on why

has he been avoided but whatever oz knew

he wasn't telling us barry was worried

his brother-in-law was bringing drugs in

from russia using his business as a

front

never talk to the press when you should

a native american from arizona wanted to

buy the bridge

so

so

you want to buy the bridge

mr uh

chief

do we call it chief chief just joe joe

sargus

how did he hear about it joe

didn't fill the guys in no he told me i

thought he must have been on magic

mushrooms

you know

i put an ad on the internet oh yeah

that's what bridge for sale like ford

escort for sale or secondhand time

machine mid conditions hey it worked

didn't it bollock brand he's here

my grandson's side he's always on a

computer unbelievable

i mean where'd you plug in a computer

than a wig ram sheet yeah shut up

excuse me but can i ask you a question

what do you want to do with it the

indian nations are now independent of

the federal government we look after

ourselves our land and most of our

revenue comes from casinos

let me show you something

my people are the

choconuts

our reservation is kind of squeezed

between the navajo

and the apache

our casino is here

the highway runs here

but we've got the crow river in between

it's a 50 mile round trip to get to us

so business is dying

now

if we had a bridge

well

like i said in the emails

of us

wouldn't it be easier to build your own

bridge sh**t your mouse never no i'm not

trying to talk them out of it but the

transporter is pretty peculiar

all the better ever hear of lake havasu

isn't that where london bridge ended yes

and everybody laughed

nothing there but desert and a dam now

they get a million visitors a year

how much did london bridge sell for

2.46 million dollars

when was this 1971

so allowing for inflation over the last

30 odd years or so

i wouldn't insult you gentlemen with an

offer for less

i need to find a local attorney and see

proof of ownership but first of all i

need sleep

took a red eye from phoenix so i'm

bushed you could stay at our motel as

fully automated quiet very reasonable mr

saugus is not staying in that glorified

vending machine now he will stay with me

at the drayford manor relay a chateau as

our guest the gentleman

it's a bit extravagant though isn't it

yeah put three foot manner on our tab no

no but he's right gives us more cred him

being whisked up and eventually to a

five star

yeah i did hear i did i i thought i

heard the word

million

you did yeah

mean you would have to take an account

transportation and erection causes i'm

getting an erection just thinking about

it

when i get it

do you have a reservation mr saugus yes

he does

yes right next to the navajos isn't that

right joe

now he's my guest uh put him a double

overlooking the croquet lawn

a bit of a culture shock all this

sure is the furthest i've been from home

sting had an indian over a while back

yeah though he must have been south

american he was one of those of a saucer

in his bottom lip he had to save the

rhine for us

i just

want to help my people we don't want to

be millionaires or anything we just want

decent homes educational healthcare

and i'm sure all our lads would like to

help you achieve that

they're a good bunch

easier thank you mr talkers all right

i'll show you this

oh mr taylor your wife rang about an

hour ago said it was urgent all right

thanks me my bonus pure thank you

what time did you leave

six you should sneak over and never say

goodbye

if you say anything to anybody no i

haven't

have you said anything to your brother

no of course i not talk to kady not

before

you got me frightened

you don't like being frightened

we have too much good things going on

i love you don't be stupid pussycat

please

you record on this one bob an indian

rescue in the cowboys that's the first

through solo play not for sure might

even make a k*ll in me ah that's not

what obama's in this for

came to be with his mates mostly

so i never figured out why you three are

hand into the sole part

well

i wanted to find out who my dad was at

the start

but it's been a blast i mean i used to

spend all my life in clubs never saw

daylight but look at me now zipping

along in the rib hard air wind in my

face

i feel like wesley snipes you looks like

him

very good

how much that will they actually see not

your business

and remember if we finish in five days

there is bonus that was deal eleven

yeah and i include each other yeah

that's tremendous i use their hate

i tell each side they get bigger share

of bonus if they finish before the other

welcome to the chopper no nation there

it is yeah

factual figures a chuckling nation is

one of the smaller tribes of the

american southwest the reservation

covers the area of

600 square miles so it's

and the population is two hundred and

thirty thousand yes yes it's real oh

amazing

what haven't you found all that out on

that computer thingy well you can find

out your leg on the internet man

bet you can't find out where lord lucan

lives

huh

well let's have a look

go ahead

hold on a

minute takes a little minute okay

202

avenue de las hociendes

montevideo

this deal comes through yeah we will

won't we

i've got a question

oh you usually have neville and it's

usually delivered in that pool first

voice of yours but however what is it

just wanted to ask

is the bridge hours to sell

well it's fairly clear from the original

contract that the bridge belongs to the

havisham consortium the bridge did

but now it's down it's in bits and when

them bits was sold that's when we will

do our big whack that's when you do a

commissioners yes but it does not look

the facts whether the bridge is an

assembled structure or on its way to the

scrap yard it still belongs to havisham

now i can double check with grange's

lawyers

no no don't flag it up to them

you haven't banged the check

not yet no

we were going to make our own deal

would the bank give us a bridging lawn

no pun intended on what security

well the promise of a hefty shield

dead man without deed it title we've got

nothing to sal

we will have if we can get it off

granger you gotta buy her

yes

hey malcolm we could cut you in if you

like a few good loaners some money we

need short term what could pay you back

double chance of a lifetime who is it

he's an indian called joe

summit

and his tribe need a bridge so they can

get more punters into that casino so

right

as tempting as that sounds um

i'm gonna have to pass on it

how much do we have in the bank

well once we've paid the final bonus and

settled with local creditors

be under 10 grand what do we need

well enough to tempt granger obviously

look her i know the way that b*stard's

mine works and if he's up for those 50k

you can bet your bollocks that he's

looking to make a hundred

so what i suggest would be is this we

work an offer in a 75 grand into there

take a leave it

so we're 65 short now

yes

look i know we're agreed equal deuce

from square one we're sorry to ask you

barry

please don't go there

i really don't know where i stand

financially but with all these

shenanigans going on with family i'm

sorry yeah yeah

well

i'll fetch this bit

eat your cord on moxie

oh [ __ ]

well it's rained since i last took it

off everything's all soggy and suddenly

twenty seven thousand eight hundred

sixty five quid well something to work

with huh that's me life savings you only

stole it two months ago

do you think we should hold joe off a

bit

yeah yeah nev why don't you take them

out tomorrow show on the site

site at middlesbrough no i'm on the

yorkshire deals hadrian's wild

hysterical shite that's a good idea

though yeah this cashmere's a parcel

just being laundered doesn't it

don't get yeah all right calm down thing

is i'm about to get on a train to london

why did you call me later

that was oz

they're returning my check really

yeah they want to buy the bridge do

their own deal

i wonder would you very much man

no

of course not there you go

if you're ever in pontiflex

very much doubt it

sometimes i think you have a switch and

go on to autocharm well she brought the

book at least i could do

how well do you know oz sure

hardly at all why

i can handle this thing in london go

back talk to him find out what they're

up to how well have a drink with him

you're a very attractive girl sarah big

northern job like oz will be easy prey

for your black stockings and sloany

vowels i have tickets for the theater

well i can use those i'm free tonight

my grandfather's day these days would

have been full of herds of grazing

buffalo as far as the eye could see

he's just joking there's not much of

anything on these dale since foot and

mouth

nothing much for earlier

i suppose a white man kept most of the

best land for himself eh he didn't leave

us with probably real estate that's for

sure

look like they thought you were going to

thief that couple

we could use some

all we've got is coyotes rattlesnakes

and jack rabbits i can't imagine what it

must be like on a reservation

no work

bored kids and a lot of all men sitting

around with nothing to do

sounds a lot like where we come from

there you are then folks thank you

you know we get a lot of tourists up

here in the summer we had some koreans

last week

but you're the first of well

of your kind

do you mind if i ask what tribe you're

from

what do you mind if the wife took your

picture with me i'd like to put it on

our bar next to ian botham

sure

you know

dances with wolves is one of our

favorite video

no i don't feel good about this but what

what's keeping joe out the way while the

lads come up with some scheme to diddle

him that's

thought i catch you before you left for

the theater

did you see him yes i managed to track

all down eventually and what's the story

what are they up to they're not bright

enough to be devious jeffrey they just

want you to assign them ownership of the

bridge i mean it's only heap of girls

well they must have some deal cooking

they have scrap merchant in scumford one

of those places you refuse to go to

it's more about ego than money you want

to control their own destiny and not get

shot upon by all those suits on your

habitual board even suits like to turn a

profit anyway i don't know the numbers

but they're going to make you an offer

oh

fast did say

vulnerable no

vulnerable from the verb to bang to

offer an ill*gal real estate payment yes

yes i'm with you i'm pissed off

cash was it of course cash

where did you see him exactly i just had

a drink with him as you suggested

that's all of course i'm not a [ __ ]

sorry no that really upset me sorry

hey right little mother hurry you are

huh

yes

i've been a jolly good girl

and i deserve a treat oh

that porsche accent gets me every time

hello dan we've just been nailing green

no from where jazz stunned

so a granger rings up in the middle of

the night from london right fishing

see what i say home jeffrey what just

simple working men trying to salvage a

bit of pride here blah blah

but if you can push this havisham deal

through there's 25 kyu in your back sky

and he went for it why i

interesting he should contemplate a

bribe isn't it in the light of his

recent book that chronicles his moral

and spiritual rejuvenation

he's been when he always was [ __ ] again

but the moment we get the ownership

purpose we're going to have to pay out

to check the aversions for 75 grand yes

never know that but when we show them

people that's the jewel he'll appeal to

advance won't he what will cover the

check what we've already written yes

that's a bit dicey isn't it no no it's

fine man it'll be fine as long as we'll

keep our heads and we'll run over he

fights

this jewel is a good bloke he's not some

faceless multinational corporation

he's here to do right by his people so

they can buy a new schoolhouse or

whatever well they can still do that nev

what are you getting well you do his own

deal

i mean he could write out a check for

havishams today and get away off home no

one's got a point since the word milling

was mentioned it's turned into a feeding

frenzy well hang on bummer i'm not

trying to stitch him up here he's going

to get his bridge but we've got to come

out of this with something haven't we i

mean that's only fair too right i'm not

so sure it is fair if we don't tell him

the facts

well hold on excuse me but the facts are

these i conjured that red indian up with

a cyberspace and

i've always found in business there's a

very fine line between altruism and

self-interest so

you so sleep on it

I you sleep on it you wi up b*stard and

[Music]

skint Cy what are you doing up here I

drive to see you important things to

talk

live what some a drink in the bar oh no

so many

people let's take a walk

huh it's more

private

right so so what's up

then I was very foolish about the

business I know that I should have cat

you in from the start he only right I

wouldn't want to know about Coke anyway

don't be stupid buddy we can make a lot

of money all of us and there no problems

we still use cars live flies plane it's

a problem for me spending the rest of me

life in prison if we get C that's the

problem anyway it's wrong I'm a

reasonable man buddy I give you every

chance to be reasonable too you're a

criminal Cy plus all your Russian

buddies using my business as a front

it's outrageous even my wife's on it are

you going to be a problem

bar you know what yoseph Stalin said he

said a lot of things didn't he he said

remove the man and you remov the

problem yeah well I me that's terrible

times was I he was a monster I mean

thank God you all democra

now Hey Barry what's up oh nothing much

Joe this is my brother-in-law Cad and

he's might

live I ever show you that Indian knife I

told you about

no this is the one I skin Rattlers

[Music]

with talk

later I was petrified I tell you that

for nothing if it wasn't for J coming

through those trees like crocodile on

day I don't know what might have

happened I mean they could have planked

me and B me in the boot and me I'm

Bentley I'll never seen the L to day

again well you can trust here tonight

buddy if you're doing want to go back to

the hotel no I don't no thanks very much

no I've checked out actually I got to

say something I'm I'm with Neville and

b*mb on this brid show I mean that Joe

is a real gentleman is your actual

genuine article Bonafide a noble savage

oh partman I'm sorry Oz there's no way

I'm not being straightened above board

with that

bloke all right all right we'll tell

them in the

morning I think there something we

should tell bar tonight was

HH

oh right uh won't keep any longer I

suppose you two getting married I'm

talking about your marriage

man are you sure caddy is your W

brother of course I

am what if he

wasn't yeah I mean have you ever seen

the parent what has this got to do with

anything have you no but they have no

living family you met CI first right he

introduced you to Tatiana then you got

married and she became a British citizen

yes look I'm getting very pissed off at

the T of this interrogation Look Bar

this isn't easy for any of us you

know I saw

something

I saw C giving your wife a group right

and I mean it was tongs t*ts it was a

whole nine

yards

yeah

where you know that Posh hotel where you

all had dinner with grer that night and

I left early and I was walking down the

corridor and W up you never told me well

he can't really tell him me to thing

like that buddy y you're telling me now

because you have to know now man before

you get bundled into a boot and to

somewhere

HH I

can't take this in

it's

devastating

you

mean right from the start they've been

taking you for a ride

[Music]

Paul

[Music]

how's it going guys

I've contacted a local attorney so I

thought maybe later today we could get

together with the ill*gal

people did I catch you guys in the

middle of

something we don't own the bridge

de I'm sorry the Consortium owns it they

hired us to pull it down and promised us

a big bonus when it was

sold but looks like it's been a con from

the start we weren't trying to shaft you

it's just that well we got shafted

ourselves and we're just trying

to salvage something from the wage truth

is Jo you could give these people

£100,000 and the bridge would be

yours

100,000 if they thought you wanted it

for scrap

sure

and you guys would get what jack

[Music]

[ __ ] you're all working guys aren't you

I can Child by your

hands I'm a DJ

actually if I bite a

bridge I still have to figure out how to

get it home what to do with it tell the

drones look at anybody

else why don't you bring them with

you bring them

where Arizona Arizona you mean like

America why not you Fellers have been

sandbagged don't you want to put that

right you tore down the bridge who

better to put it back

up

Joe needs us to wire him $200,000 to

close that deal in England that's a lot

of money has he sent you a cost

breakdown for

transportation in building he's working

on it don't you think it's a little too

early to write him a

check why do we pick Jo to go there

because he's our chairman and he has our

trust he's asking for this money because

he believes this thing can

work what does a medicine man think are

the Omens in our

favor the pound is

135 to the

[Music]

dollar

what is this who are these people my

friends in the north two of them have

been here already actually the witnesses

to what I witnessed that's right I have

to cut

in five more [ __ ] six more

assoles are there more people in the

house no we re we're

enough

so what do you want now one's going to

get cut in tied off or

backhanded it's

over all these little schemes you and

your so-call sister have been running

are finished what do you mean so cold

sister when I come to look at you you

don't even look like family how can you

say this Dad please don't bother Tana

adultery or incest it's a CO

you still screwed me two ways till

Tuesday got you over

here beautiful

home everything you could want for but

it wasn't enough was it what did you do

so bad my contacts make you rich man I

in your drug dealing could ruin him

yeahh I have the proof and I have

witnesses so I could go to the police or

the Customs are up well might just do

that if you

do they take you down too you know I

thought about that I didn't care at

first I was s GED by what you two had

done to me but wouldn't go down not if

he gave evidence against you two SLE

ba*ls stop this [ __ ] buy what is it

you want well I want a divorce it's a

given and I want you both out of here go

back to Moscow or Monte Carlo or whever

it is your secret little Go g*ng just

get out of my

life

for never learn the language did I sick

of the bloody sound of it to tell the

trying to work out the odds there's no

to talk about pal all you have to do is

pack right you and the

to BU

marish let's talk about this alone just

you and me no way ker steal yourself

remember Godfather

too you know where Diane Keaton begs

alucino not to lock her out of his life

and what did he do close the bloody

kitchen door on

it don't don't worry Moxy

there's nothing more to

[Music]

say actually there is one more

thing I need to use of your M

solution what the hell for I've got a l

actually you swing that you got a deal

you're free and clear

[Music]

okay I do this I do this for

you but I have to tell you

buddy you making very very big

mistake hey

don't bu that that couldn't have been

easy nice one buddy yeah man you stood

your ground are you all

right I'll keep an eye out just in case

good

lad Harry what's an illusion

yeah oh it's this big Russian transport

plane and caddy brings the lers in on

what do you want one for

take the first load of Steel to

America give you a head start while the

rest follows by say good thinking oh

brilliant buddy hey let's get that

bridge out there lad yeah and get the

B on

watch's up B you all right I'll be all

right hey you're burning up man this

isn't one of those attacks that put you

in hospital the other week is it stop

fussing Dennis I just need a

break listen if youve got health

problems you know I might be wise you

going on this trip no I'm fine right I

don't want the other thinging I can't do

my

share listen n this

[Music]

I just want to be part of

something part

of you

know like it used to

be it's

important okay we take it easy we've

done enough today

man done get your head down for a bit

yeah

[Music]

hello

[Music]

hello you okay look a little frazzled

I'm just naged I got me hands dirty

[Music]

today did the seale go through they

signed the papers this morning

[Music]

listen you've been great about all this

pet and the rest of the guys think so as

well so I've been delegated to take it

out for a bite can't haversam have a big

PR briefing tonight there that me

granders in the building he's meeting me

here any

moment well you knew I was coming didn't

you yes I want to watch him wet his

pants when he sees you

ah so do you think he'll be be in

America in January with any look why

well I'll be an aspen we could get

together Aspen

me I'd look ra fixed here on his keys SL

oh I was thinking of

ay steady I'm getting a bit of a tingle

in the trosa department

berse yes sir you're celebrating

Jeffrey oh good lord what are you doing

here what do you think I just want to

point out if if you do anything foolish

they'll have you back inside I'm not

going to Chin you you're

not I'm a changed man remember I read

your book look I want you to know I

don't feel good about the scrap deal

some American nipin had to go with the

highest offer obviously obviously and

you had your chance o you had a check

for £50,000 in your hands and you and

you turned it down I no that'll haunt me

[Music]

forever so you you didn't come here to

extract

some Childish retribution

no you see Jeffrey I believe that's like

a grand plan where people like you

bollocks up other people have to account

for it now sooner or later you're going

to end up back in jail cuz you're just

too damn tricky and lostness to stay out

and when that day comes there won't be

an O around to help you when you drop

your soup in the shower

and I'll see you in

[Music]

Aspen what did he tell you nothing why

well he obviously knows something I

don't and what's this about Aspen

you're off sooner than I thought bber

and the kid have organized a football

game to celebrate our glorious

achievement servs versus Kos Jesus be

safe on a Saturday night in

Belfast is that way you're off nearby

got a sister with a caravan in County

andram but why you there could you do us

a favor

depends you know that dismantling

sequence you showed us you what do you

call it when it's you know the other way

around you know when you want to put the

bridge but with you an erection sequence

no jokes please I've heard them

all what could you do one well PE you

Lake what are you up to no not no

important

nothing how do you be paying cash

where did you get us I so me

cello so Joe me and the boys have talked

it over and the only way we can see this

working is on a Cost Plus basis whereby

we keep all the receipts and the work

sheets and what have you and whatever

the final cost of the job is we would

add on 25% for ourselves how does that

sound that might be a little Rich for

the Tribal Council in a bank maybe you'd

like to consider 15 plus an incentive

incentive that's what Grand your off it

is I'm talking a piece of the action

action what action a percentage of the

increased revenue from the casino over

say first 5 years I might be able to

swing that by my people

well I'm pretty sure we can swing our P

Wars you got a deal p

[Music]

[Music]

hi grandad

[Music]

foreign

foreign

spee

fore

for my

[Music]

[Music]

man he's way outside

so where you off to next then any idea

yes we work on a farm in

L lincolshire

yeah very

flat so going to be I

will you like our sister oh yeah very

much very sweet

girl why not

Mary we all live together Liv in your

house family no I can't me you're

already married three daughters that's

me wife there with the

oranges

sorry full marks B this this is uh this

is

Boston sport has a wonderful way of

breaking down the barriers of prejudice

in Hy isn't

he it's like the Christmas Day trues in

the first world w*r you know when the

the bridge played the Jerry's of Foo now

Man's Land one of those Shining Moments

that reminds men of their common

Humanity it may be a Shane in Mor buddy

but that was a hell of a l

stop

it all right that's enough that's enough

Tak you

C

happy

I let me go man there you missed a few

red cards out there you that's worse

than S red CS they need a water Canon

andas yeah why out there and ask him if

[ __ ] have son

[Music]

buddy you

okay empty

hangers so is Left To Me

marriage yeah another fil

being through

twice man you both my wives combined

wouldn't be a fraction on Tas

H she like to

[Music]

shop I know that it's for the best I

know I know that I got to look to the

Future and and move on

but if she walked through that door

right now I'll give her a bill for the

hallway looks like Tombstone on Saturday

night

suddenly broken glass and b*llet holes

Dennis

[Music]

this is

petrifying I don't know how ever got off

the ground but I told you not to bring

their extra

case have you flown one of these before

Barry once flew a military contract all

the way to Lady VTO can you

believe I don't know why I didn't fly

British Airways to La have a stop over

get a Chan and spend a couple of days

stalking Jennifer Lopez

he wanted to be with your oh that's the

reason yeah of

course on

twist a he's done us again St now

nothing puts up friendship faster than

gambling de just punon man we thinking

where we going in the bloody Casino you

crap taes and blackjack all Samy D you

know you had the mob so much in Vegas

had to perform for a whole year for now

watch you not every night going to build

a mountain yeah yeah didn't never put

the piss who told you that he did just

to got doing the fighting [ __ ] in ches

Street tell me he ended up

S stick one and again and again a I

don't believe it it's a funny thing the

brain I mean when you have a crap

there's a smell all right but as you sit

there reading the paper you don't smell

it anymore the brain blocks it out but

if you leave and go back in you smell it

all over

again what's he on

about I think he's trying to tell us to

give it 5 minutes in there

welcome to America Hey

Jo why did we land on a military base

nearest Runway long enough to take the

Beast is that the only reading matth you

board yeah 19 hours a sun I dud the

cross late 11 12 13 who is this box that

are those those are presents Joseph we

should offer the tribal council gifts

it's a traditional Native American thing

evidently so what do you get ah a dozen

commemorative football mugs change

various s kits for the ladies and some

pot P from

Craft well I should keep the smell of

fried Bas at the tent right lot of

paperwork Tak care of you got trucks

standing by so they're going to be

offloading the steel all day sure let's

go huh

Chinese