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02x11 - Cartoon Canines

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "2 Stupid Dogs". Aired: September 5, 1993 – February 13, 1995.*
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Show is about two unnamed dogs—neither of whom, as the title states, is very intelligent—and their everyday misadventures.

02x11 - Cartoon Canines

Post by bunniefuu »

ohh Platoon! Today,

we're going to learn the fine art of

cartoon brutality.

Gentlemen, begin feeding.

Prepare to plumb it, pickle puss.

You're the pickle puss.

This is you.

Here, boys.

Gentlemen, a slab of meat this caliber.

Your eyes should be at least this big.

ohh OK, kiddies, this is it.

There are no mommies here for you little

girls.

I had canned yams for breakfast.

All right, ladies, suit up.

No cutesy in my core. Only funny

cartoons. You know, lots of

buck jokes.

No, noToo beanie.

Too out there. Too in

there. No, too

diseased.

Uh, perfect. Classy cartoon

attire. We'll call you

Hammy and Loafy. All right, ladies,

this exercise is truly a treat, but

there's no such thing as a free lunch.

You got to earn these suckers

by creating a larger lump on your

adversary's head than he can manifest

on yours.

Gentlemen, begin beating.

I'm awaiting ladies. Strike.

Strike him. Strike him.

Strike him. k*ll.

Dismember. Maim. Scrape.

Hurt. Boop. Kick. Ouch. Strike. Strike.

Strike.

I can never hit you, Chum. Not even with

a wet noodle.

Lumps. I want shiny lumps.

Self-induced loafy.

But now, soldier.

Well, let's see it, boy.

Now there's an exemplary goose egg.

Thanks. Next.

Hiya. Now, Hammy.

Lumps.

Holy tomato bisque. Looka

there. They're ready. To the

simulator. Corporal.

Yes, Sir. Send in the first

recruit. Yes, Sir. Good

luck. What?

Mamma Mia!

It's hammy sandwich time. What do you

want?Gold?

Diamonds?Property?I'll do anything,

please. My father's rich. I'll even give

you corn.

Meat.

Did I do that?Get

off of me!

Look at them smokin' buns!

Corporal! Yes, sir.

Prepare, Loafy! Yes, sir.

Good luck.

Thanks. Yoo-hoo!

Loafy, honey!

Silly boy! Oh, I

love you. Let me show you how

the French kiss.

I'm gonna get--

Free! I'm free!

Oh, Sasha!

We're free!

So you want to come over for a sandwich

or something?Sure.