03x02 - The Relatively Small Package

[bunniefuu]

♪ Baby, you've caught my eye ♪

Got ya.

You broke into the
wrong house, kitty cat.

It's not how it looks.

Oh, it's exactly how it looks.

Oh, sh*t.

Please don't... no!

Fine, you can have it.

Oh!

No, no, no.
This is ridiculous.

I have been a high level
thief for almost two years.

Jordan, I know you're frustrated.
As your agent, that's normal.

Frustrated? How is
any of this normal?

I am a real f*cking thief.

Yes, but Jackson Pepper
told you that the part is

a character adept at
social engineering.

- Yeah?
- No, no-no-no. Listen to me.

I steal things.

I steal them and then I deliver them to
a handler whose identity is a mystery.

Because everything is a
mystery, and then a riddle,

and then a riddle inside
another f*cking mystery.

I mean, I could be working for a
Russian oligarch for all I know.

- You need to fix this now.
- Okay, but you didn't want...

Two years ago... just two years ago...
I was in the height of my career.

I could have starred in
five new movies by now.

You didn't
want five movies.

You wanted to star in one
movie, a Jackson Pepper movie,

so you could win an Oscar.

I know, I know, I know. But,
no, not just win an Oscar.

You know, I was sick of being the
puppet of some out-of-touch director

who just had me standing there
while the male lead saves the day.

Why can't I f*cking
save the day for once?

Okay, Jordan, you are
a classically-trained actor,

and all the greats have been
where you are right now.

Stealing bearer
bonds and ancient artifacts

from rich people's
houses? I mean, you know,

I should have just taken
the Tic-Tac-Toe movie.

At least Tac is at least a
three-dimensional character.

Well, Olivia Colman spent
four years in the Royal Navy

training to be a
submarine captain

so she could get an Oscar
for the Jackson Pepper movie.

And that was only to win
Best Supporting Actress.

Anyway, Jordan, look,

if you want to quit,
I'll support you.

Netflix has six serial
k*ller shows in development.

I'm sure I can get
you a part in one.

Hello? Earth to Jordan,
you still there, bud?

Okay, I will pull one more job,
and if that's not good enough

for Jackson Pepper, then fine,
I will play a serial k*ller.

Okay, um, that's fair.

So, just so you know, serial
K*llers are always played by men.

So, you're probably gonna have
to be the victim or prost*tute...

There you are.

What are you up to?

Thank you so much.

- Can I help you?
- Yeah, what bus are you waiting on?

Waiting for a friend.
She's got the tickets.

No, what bus?

- Fres-no.
- No, Fresno left two hours ago.

Hey, let me ask you a
question. What kind of sick man

shows up at a bus
terminal to harass women?

- Excuse me?
- Oh, cut the sh*t.

We already had somebody
complain about you making

crude hand gestures
and primal noises.

Hey, Lorenzo!

You can either leave
here on your own accord,

or I can have Lorenzo
here throw your a*s out.

- So those are my two options?
- Only two.

Pick one.
Clock's ticking.

Hey... hey!

Come on.

Yes, yes!

f*ck!

I need you to open
up locker 219.

Look, I thought I
told you to get...



Nope, it's empty.

Suspect fled in a black Mercedes,
partial plate ending in N654.

Didn't catch the rest.
Run it through the system.

No, I couldn't identify her.
She looked like Jordan King.

Yeah, the actor.

You didn't see the
"Jeffersons" reboot?

It's like, why
go and sh*t up a classic?

Okay, as*h*le.

Where's my next clue?

Resuming route to...



- See you soon, Jordan.
- I'm so sick of this sh*t.

"Your final heist is
not a heist at all.

"It's a package you'll transport
that's relatively small.

"It stands at five-foot-five
if it's wearing lifts.

"It'll be running and
screaming and hard to miss.

"See, tonight you steal not
jewels, not gems, not anything fun.

"But tonight you
are a getaway driver

for a fugitive on the run."

What the f*ck is that
supposed to mean?

Help!

Help!

Aah! Ah, sh*t...

"He'll be running and
screaming and hard to miss."

Help me! Help me!
I gotta get out of here!

Help! Somebody help! Help me!

- Help!
- Kevin.

Jordan?

♪ I've been in trouble
before with my rushing in ♪

♪ But I'm willing to
take that chance again ♪