01x06 - Bring Me the Face of Hector Con Carne/Devolver: Part 1/Devolver: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

Once upon a time, there was a

Jillionare playboy who was

Blown up in a tremendous
expl*si*n.

His brain survived [stomach,
too]

And was attached to the body of

A stupid circus bear.

I am that brain.

My name is hector con carne,

And I will one day rule

The world

[Beeping]

Jeepers!

Hector:
"so harry potter's
wicked stepmother

"Locked him
in a closet and said,

No liver and beef mash
for you tonight."

Ghastly: chief!

Don't you ever knock?

Sorry, chief,
but I have some good news.

I've been tracking
the trajectory of your
exploded body parts,

And I think I may have
located your face
somewhere in the arctic.

My face?
Are you sure?



It's possible that
the subzero temperature
has preserved it intact.

Tell skarr
to gas up the jet.

I haven't seen
my face in 7 years.

[Salsa music playing]

Me and hector
go way back.

I assure you,
baroness, hector
will deliver...

Woman:
oh, mr. Con carne,

Would you dance
with me?

No, dance with me!

Now, ladies,

There's no reason
I can't dance
with both of you.

[Women giggling]

[People screaming]

Step aside, boys.

I can handle this.

Cod commando,
we meet again.

You dare come into my house
and crash my party?

I don't remember inviting
any smelly fish.

[Babbles]

You can't prove anything.

I am a legitimate businessman.

Now, get out of my sight
before I lose my patience!

[Babbles]

Oh!

How can I take over
the world

With cod commando breathing
down my neck?

Aargh.

Ye be needin'
to get yourself

A mad scientist,
as it were.

[Sighs]

It's time we joined
the others, boskov.

To the hangar!

Hector: no!

That does not go there,
you stooge!

[Thinking]
oh, chief.

Why, I still remember
the day we met.

[Police siren]

I wish someone would
look at my inventions.

[Sighs]

[Plane engine]

"Mad scientist wanted.

Call 1-800-hector
to apply."

[Scratching noise]

Hector: next.

Buenos dias.

Hector: let me get
to the point.

I need someone
who can build me

All kinds of highly
destructive devices.

I need lasers,
exploding ducks,

Hot laser thingies,
submarines, aircraft, tanks--

You name it.

Do you think you can
do all that? Hmm?

Oh, yes.
I--i think so.

[Giggles nervously]

This is my latest
invention.

It's a life-support
system for a brain
and stomach.

Why would I want stupid
inventions like that?

Well, uh,

You could stick
somebody's brain
and stomach in it.

Wouldn't that
be cool?

Get out!

Hector: ooh!

You're perfect.

You get the job.

Hector: ghastly!

Quit your daydreaming
and get on board!

Hector:
this is so exciting.

Major dr. Ghastly,

Do you really think
you'll be able
to reattach my face?

I think so, chief,

Assuming it hasn't been
half-eaten by penguins.

All right!
I can't wait!

Oh...

If only I'd hired ghastly
instead of that
brain-dead bimbo.

I have completed
the device, sir.

Just push
that big red button,

And something
really cool
will happen.

This button?

That's the one.

Just reach out
and push it.

This is exciting.

I will just reach out
with my finger,

Ever so slowly,

And push the button.

Bimbo: push the button.

[Voice slowing down]
push the button.

Push...the...bu...

[Giggles]

Ghastly:
mr. Con carne?

[Coughs]
mr. Con carne?

Hector: ooh.

Ew.

Ghastly:
mr. Con carne?

[Groans]

Mr. Con carne.

Mmm. Dr. Ghastly?

Oh, good.
You're awake.

Where am i?
What happened?

Uh...well...

Aaah!

I am nothing but a brain!
This is terrible!

It's not as bad
as it looks.

I also saved
your stomach.

Blah!

This--this is unbelievable!

I'm ruined!

How can I rule the world
from inside a refrigerator?

Try to look
on the bright side.

You still have
your money,

And you still have
the world's best
mad scientist.

Hmm.

You will be my mad scientist
from now on.

Oh, thank you, sir.
You won't regret it.

I know we'll make
a great team.

With my face
back in my hands,

The world will be mine!

Brrr.

Stupid cold.

Ah-choo!

Hector: well,
where is it?

According to the radar,
it should be right here.

[Gasps]

Hey! I've found
something!

Come here, quick!

Let me see!
Let me see!

It's not your face.

It's your


What?! Aaah!

Well, this was
a fun little jaunt.

Can we go home now?

Ghastly: sir...

I know it's not
quite the same
as the real thing,

But I knitted this
for you.
[Gasps]

It's--it's, uh, uh...

It's your face,
chief.

Oh. Oh.

Um...

I--i am all choked up.

Well, it's the least
I can do.

It's a perfect fit.
Heh heh.

Thank you, major doctor.

I think this is
the beginning

Of a beautiful friendship.

Hector: oh, no, boskov!

You stupid bear!

Use the sand wedge,
not a putter.

We already


And this is only
the second hole.

See? You be
stupid creature.

Now get
the sand wedge.

Aah! What are
you doing?

Wait!

Boskov!

I said, stop it!

Sir--

Oof!

Aah!

Oh! Oh!

Heavens.

Uh, sir,

Sorry for interrupting,

But I was just bringing
those top-secret plans
you wanted to see.

Here they are.

Skarr, can't you see
I'm trying to play golf?

How dare you interrupt
my important business?

General, as long as
you aren't doing
anything useful,

Which you rarely are,

Why don't you go
get me some kool-aid?

Sometimes people who work

Get hot and thirsty,

'Cause they're
doing work.

Unlike you.

Who doesn't.

[Muttering]

Yes, sir.

Any particular
flavor, sir?

Hmm.

I think today I'd like
some of the red kind.

Oh, the red kind.

Yes, sir.

At once, sir.

Now, what about
that sand wedge?

Did you say sandwich?

"Subject a,
before treatment,

Shows normal signs
of apishness."

[Chattering]

"As well as
a bit of monkeytude."

[Screeches]

Let's see how
this new ray g*n
will affect it.

That stupid bile-breathed
brain boss of mine,

Playing golf when there's
more important things to do,

Like ruling the world.

[Gasp]

Oh, no!

General skarr!

Are you ok?

Oh! Can you people
please let me just
walk into a room

Without getting shot
with something?

General, we better get you
to the infirmary right away.

I'm fine.

What's happened
to my hands?

Uh, well...

What's going on?
Where's a mirror?

I must see.

Hey,
that's more like it.

Doctor, this is
your best work ever.

Your new hair ray
machine is wonderful.

But tell me--
does it do nails, too?

I still think you should
go to the infirmary.

Nonsense!

I've never felt
better in my life.

Oh!

My chin!

What's happening
to me?

You're...

Devolving!

[Roaring]

[Grunts and roars]

[Screeches]

What very interesting behavior.

[Gasp]

The chief's gonna plotz
if he sees this.

I'd better shut
this before he--

Doctor, have you
seen skarr anywhere?

I'm thirsty, and I
want my kool-aid.

Skarr?

No, I haven't
seen him at all.

I don't know
where he is.

[Monkey chattering]

Um, I think I saw him
heading toward the commissary.

Are you sure
he's not in here?

[Monkey screeching]

Hector: nah.

Are two apes having
a poop fight in here?

Two apes?

What, are you crazy?

Ghastly,

Are you trying to hide
something from me?

Of course not,
chief.

[Metal clanging]

I could have sworn
I saw two apes,

And they were having
a poop fight.

Don't go in there!

Those were two guards

With a-a rare case of,
um, er, tibetan measles.

[Crash]

They're playing
ping-pong.

Ok.

I guess that
makes sense.

Can I have
a look-see?

Certainly not, chief.

They're quarantined.

Ah.

Of course.

Well,

If you see skarr,

You tell him that
if he's not back
with my drink soon,

He's fired!

Righty-o, chief.

Oh.

[Ape roaring]

Oh, mitochondria.

If I don't do
something soon,

These apes'll get me fired!

I've got to give skarr
this antidote,

Then sh**t him
with the ray in reverse.

[Monkey screeching]

Hey, you big ape!

[Crash]

Grr.

It's time to take
your medicine.

Grr.

[Growls]

Hey! Get back here!

Don't you see
I'm trying to to help you?

If you don't get this antidote,

You'll keep devolving
until you're nothing
but protoplasmic goo!

Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

General skarr?

[Ape grunting
and roaring]

Aah!

I knew I should have been
a dental assistant.

Grr.

[Grunting]

[Footsteps]

General?

[Growling]

General skarr--

Aaah!

Good grief!
It's one of those
poor hairy devils

With the tibetan measles,

And he's got ghastly.

[Ghastly screaming]

[Growls]

Guards! Seize that man
before he infects
the entire base!

Grrr!

[Screeching]

Ghastly,
you got a lot of
explaining to do!

It's not my fault,
chief.

When general skarr
stumbled into my
de-evolution beam,

He began to evolve
in reverse,

And according to this,
he's still changing.

We'd better give him
the antidote ray.

Ugh! Ahh!

Ahhhhh.

Ha ha ha ha...

Aah!

Uh-oh.

He's devolving again.

Boskov: hey!

[Sniffing][sniffing]

[Both growl]

Arrr!

[Gobbling]

Skarr is a turkey.

No, he's--

Hector: no,
he's a rat.

Ghastly: I say
he's a dirty skunk.

[Skarr's voice]
hey, who you calling dirty?

Hector: no. He's worse
than a dirty skunk.
He's a lawyer!

Ghastly: no! A snake!

[Hiss]

Now he's
a skarr-fish.

That's no ordinary
skarr-fish.

It's a skarr
lung-fish!

[Inhaling]

Grab him!

[Growls]

Got him!

What next?

He's turned
into a squid.

Isn't that cute?
A skarr-octopus!

Duh...

[Grunting]

Hey! I think the little
invertebrate likes me.

Puh-lease!
Just look at him.

He loathes you![Muttering]

He'd like nothing better
than to maim you and take over.

[Crash]

Watch out, chief.
He could crack you open
like an egg.

Hector: don't be silly.
See how much he loves me.

[Hector giggling]

[Skarr screams]

Stomach: now
he's a tasty shrimp.

Hector: boskov, no!

Boskov, wait!
It's skarr.

Aaah!

No! Bad boskov!

You spit out my
second-in-command this minute!

It's no good.
He's done for.

General skarr...
Was a good man.

[Burp]

He will be missed.

Anyone care to wager
what I'll be next?

If you guessed
sheep liver fluke,
you win.

Hey, frank.
Did you see that?

Kid, wait'll you
been down here
as long as I have.

You ain't seen
nothin' yet.

[High-pitched screams]

Ha ha ha ha!

[All laughing]

[Squish]

Stick out
your tongue.

Blaaah!

Hmmm...

Well, what's
the diagnosis?

I'll need to get
a mucus sample.

Aha!
Just as I suspected.

The disease
isgeneral skarr.

Now all we have to do
is take the slide containing
the skarr bacteria...

[Door shuts]

And bombard it with
a re-evolution ray.

[Snap]

[Sniff]

Skarr!
You're back.

Eh, what's going on?
Where's my clothes?

Don't you remember?

You have been
on a vacation
in the south seas.

Uh...yes. And we're
having your uniform
cleaned for you.

Oh. Well.
Guess I'd better
get back to work.

You know, that vacation
must've helped.

I feel smashing!

Hey! Anybody want to
race me to the mess hall

For some banana cream pie?

Oh. Shucks, no.

Uh...we're all on diets.
Heh heh heh.

Ok. Ta-ta!