Bad Guy, The (2024)

[bunniefuu]

This is the way we sit and wait,

sit and wait, sit and wait.

This is the way we sit and wait.

Good job my friends.

Lets play the quiet game.

Quiet game.

What comes to mind

when you imagine a school?

Kids sitting at their desks?

Perhaps a teacher in front

struggling to keep

their attention.

Or a school bell

ringing through the hallways.

When I think of school

I think of chalk.

I still picture it in my hands

nervously trying to solve a

math problem on the blackboard.

Welcome to the world.

My own school days

are long gone

but for my daughter,

they have yet to begin.

By the time she

will go to school

I worry that she'll

be confronted

with more frightening things

than solving math problems

in front of the class.

Nineteen children

and two teachers were k*lled

at Robb Elementary School

in Uvalde, Texas.

City leaders in Uvalde

are calling for privacy

and compassion for the families

of the victims and survivors...

I remember watching the news

about the school

sh**ting in Uvalde.

My daughter was two months old

and sleeping in my lap

oblivious to what was happening

just a couple towns

away from us.

Since that day,

I keep wondering...

How can we keep her safe

in a world like this?

This morning, flags are flying

at half staff across Texas

marking one year since one

of the worst school shootings

in American history.

One year ago today,

an 18 year old g*nman

broke into

an elementary school in Uvalde

k*lling nineteen children

and two teachers.

For many, the reminders

of the tragedy are everywhere.

With an uptick

in school shootings

and the fears

that come with them

a lot of Texas parents

are wondering

how best to protect their kids

while setting them up

for success in the future.

How can I help you?

Good afternoon.

I'm looking for a daycare

for my daughter.

I wanted to gather

some more information

if that's possible.

Yes, maam.

It might be an awkward question,

but do you have a safety plan

in case of

a school sh**ting happening?

Were getting introduced to all

this sh**ting stuff just now.

OK.

So, you know,

we do lockdowns.

We do those kind of drills.

But right now

with active sh**ter...

We are in the process of

figuring all that stuff out.

- Ok.

- Its just, we never thought

that wed have to be going

to training for this.

Yeah, Im asking because Im...

I just moved here from Belgium,

about four years ago.

And we never had

a school sh**ting in Belgium.

So for me, this is all new.

And I'm a bit worried about it.

You know, I was born and raised

here in Austin.

And this whole Uvalde thing,

I think that hit us home.

Being so close to Uvalde...

But yes, ma'am

we're hoping that

never happens to us.

And we do have locked doors

and all that good stuff.

Okay.

But, you know,

active sh**ter plan?

Not yet.

Olivia!

Joshua!

Junior!

Laura!

Emma!

Go sit down, please.

Go sit down, baby.

Working with children,

really makes a difference.

Sometimes you

have a rough day...

Anything to warm up...

I got you!

And then you come over here

and just a kiss and a hug

or a silly phrase....

In that moment you just laugh.

I am originally from Venezuela.

Over there, we deal with

another type of safeness.

You go out and you know

you cannot carry your necklace.

You know that

you need to pay attention

of your surroundings

and stuff like that

Its a whole other level.

But you dont have the fear

to send your kids to school.

I cant recall

going to school...

feeling scared.

Or my mom talking to me

If somebody comes

to school to sh**t you

youve got nowhere to go.

So I didn't grow up with that.

The hardest part in my job

is caring for other kids

and having the responsibility of

providing a safe environment

for them.

It is hard.

I don't want to carry

the responsibility

of losing a childs life

on my hand.

I don't think

I could live with that, so...

I don't think nobody could,

you know?

That must be really hard.

So when Zara would go

to this daycare

what would the safety plan

look like here?

We have trained for lockdowns

and unsafe buildings

and stuff like that.

But an active sh**ter,

we havent.

So that's why we wanted

to get training.

And if you look, you know,

at last year...

Look at this, in 2022

not a single week passed

without at least

four mass sh**ting events.

It's crazy.

And we say mass sh**ting,

were talking about

four or more people

that have been shot.

So thats quite a few events.

You know, you can see,

646 mass shootings...

What is there,

365 days in a year?

So we're talking, what?

About two a day?

That's numbers

that we've never seen before.

But that's why this training

has become so important.

And just as we prepare for fires

and floods and tornadoes

and earthquakes.

Sadly weve got to start

thinking about this stuff, too.

So what we're going to

talk about today is really...

I want the teachers to be

the best they can be.

Teaching the kids

the proper way.

And you know,

shaping those young minds.

I don't want

them to be combat warriors.

That's not fair.

They didn't sign up for that.

But when I saw

the numbers and said

wow, less than half

of early childhood programs

aren't prepared

for an active sh**ter.

Weve got to do

something about that.

I don't want to minimize

the impact

that youre going to have

as the initial responder.

Because your actions

or inactions...

are really going to set

the stage on how this goes.

Weve got

a bunch of options here.

Weve got running,

weve got hiding

weve got fighting.

And I can't tell

you specifically

which options

are going to be best

because the situation you're in

might be very different.

You know, if you're

in the infant room

your options are very different

than somebody that's working

with a four or a five year old.

So sometimes hiding

might be the best choice

Sometimes running

might be the best choice.

Sometimes, you're going

to have no choice

but to defend yourself, right?

And we want to make sure

that we practice those options

so that we become

comfortable with them

and know what to do

in all sorts of

different settings.

So here they are:

run, hide and fight.

So let's look at the run option.

So weve got everybody out

in under 20 seconds

which is, you know,

simply amazing.

- What do you think Ron?

- Very, very fast.

Everybody did really,

really well.

- Good job ladies.

- Excellent, good job guys.

Yay, Dante!

In terms of our hiding...

That's another option

that we want to think about.

Our objectives are

to stay out of sight

to put some barricades up

to make it as hard as possible

to get to us...

and to keep the kids as calm

and as quiet as we possibly can.

Now, the last part

of the whole thing

is fighting if we have to.

We're really not just getting

into a fair fight here.

We're trying to

defend and survive.

But now we have to be thinking

okay, if I'm in there...

And I'm trapped in there,

I have no other way out.

What am I going to do?

Well, I'm going to grab this,

right?

You know, first thing

that I can find.

What if somebody comes in?

I can squirt them in the eyes.

I can maybe hit him

over the head with this.

I'm going to try to find

anything that I can

to defend myself.

I just see those teachers

standing there with like...

tools that they find,

like blocks and stuff.

And Im just wondering,

how on earth

are they going to

defend themselves

with somebody coming in

with like a machine g*n?

Well, I think theres

a couple different things

that we can,

you know, think about.

A pair of scissors

is obviously not going to be

a very good weapon of choice

against a machine g*n.

But Ive got to tell you,

if I'm pinned in a room

and that's

the only thing I have...

I'm going to make a go at it

because I don't want

it to be easy, to k*ll me

I'm going to make it

as difficult as possible

for that person.

Maybe I can slow

that person down.

Maybe I can buy some time

so that others

aren't k*lled or injured.

So that's kind of what

the mentality sadly has to be.

When Andy and I leave here

we hope that you'll

continue practicing this.

And not just do this like once

once a year or once in a while,

but do this on a regular basis

so you're already ready to go.

Because practice

is going to make us prepared.

And the more we practice

the better it's going to be

for us during any emergency.

I dont know how you,

you do a drill with babies?

I don't know how that works,

to be honest.

The drill that you guys saw...

are the kids involved

in these drills?

Well, what we saw

was like a training

for the teachers.

Um, and so I think

the teachers have to do that

with the kids a

few times a year,

but we didn't really see that.

And I also don't think that

the kids realize it yet

at that young age.

But I am worried about

when the kids get older...

So if we put Zara there,

when she gets older

when she starts to realize

what this is about

what its going to do to her.

These sounds are clues for you

to tune in

and get somewhere safe.

Excuse me.

We will be talking about:

Staying quiet!

When we hear

Lock down, locks, lights

out of sight.

We need to stay quiet

in our hiding place.

Look at this

picture of a quiet mouth.

What do you think it means

to have a quiet mouth?

Yes, Alice.

It means you don't talk.

Very good.

It even means you don't whisper.

What would you do...

You're not in the classroom.

You're not with another teacher.

But maybe you're on the way

to the bathroom.

You're all by yourself.

And...

You might hear an announcement

that says: run, hide, fight.

Or you might hear a noise

that sounds like a weapon.

Or maybe you see a bad guy.

You're all by yourself

in the hallway.

What would you do

in that situation?

If all the doors are closed

except the one

of the first graders

- you can go in there.

- That should be number one.

But let's say that there is

no way to go into another class

because the doors are shut

and they're locked.

Or, there's just

nobody else in here

and you dont know

what to do.

You can hide somewhere

on the playground, okay?

Schools are

a very safe place to be.

You're safe here.

Last summer

when I found out about

the school sh**ting

at Robb Elementary

in Uvalde, Texas

I was so devastated by the news

that another school sh**ting

had happened.

Every day that I walk

my children to school

I say, I love you,

and I watch them.

And just breathe

because thats all I can do,

and hope that...

everyone is doing their job

to protect them.

I'm doing my job

to try and raise awareness

change the conversation

support people who are

changing the conversation

because I don't have

all the answers.

Welcome to this service,

mourning those who have died

from g*n violence.

This afternoon well be reading

the known names

of those who have died

in Harris County, during 2022

from g*n violence.

Today we are remembering

Texas g*n violence victims.

It's too many.

And thinking about our children

who are being put

in the line of fire.

Who are

being called to action

as if they were

in military service

without choice

and without protection.

You did 21 laps?

- Nice.

- And I forced my ankle.

Well, maybe that's

why your ankle hurts.

How was the rest

of your lunch?

I'm sorry I could only stay

for a few minutes.

All right.

You guys in Lego world now?

When I was researching

the project

I thought about

how our children are essentially

playing w*r games at school.

Whether they want to or not,

that this is their life.

And theyre having to do

these active sh**ter drills

and lockdowns.

and they're playing

w*r games.

What happens

during your drills?

Mommy doesn't know

what you guys do?

Well, for the lockdown drills...

The principal will say

on the announcement

It's a lockdown drill.

Lock your doors.

And we hide behind our shelves.

But we can't do anything else.

Sometimes

whenever we do the drills

no one ever tells us.

Our teachers dont tell us

if it's a real one

or just practice.

So I get scared sometimes

to see if it's real

or if it's just a drill.

And if we don't get up

and scoot our chairs quietly

and we're loud, we start over

and do it again

until we can make it good.

- You want to show me?

- Uh huh.

All right, say the drill.

Teachers, lock your doors.

Teachers, lock your doors.

This is a lockdown.

My daughter said that

it helps her to prepare.

And that makes me so sad...

to think that she has to prepare

for such an event.

- Hi, nice to meet you.

- Hi.

Thanks for being with us.

No problem.

I'm a professor of public health

in New Mexico State University.

My research has focused on

how schools are preparing.

And what would they do

in certain situations.

So most schools

in your neighborhood

my neighborhood,

have security cameras

backpack checks,

metal detectors,

locked doors, a lockdown drill

preparing students

for a mass sh**ting.

This is a drill.

I repeat, this is a drill.

We are in a

level three lockdown.

The problem is...

they have not been able

to stop a mass sh**ting.

Get into the closet.

Go in the closet.

Turn the light on,

until we get in there.

Let's go, get the chairs

up there. Let's go.

The rest of you,

get in the closet.

Let's go.

Get in the closet!

There is no documented evidence

that we could stop

a mass sh**ting

with this kind of an approach.

You're quiet.

Keep your hands to yourself.

And thats a typical

American school now.

It has become a w*r zone.

No one is asking

is this conducive

to learning? Education?

Why are we creating

this climate of fear?

A palace, a fortress.

No place in the world

would you see this

in a developed nation.

There are studies to show

that kids have felt vulnerable

and distressed

because of these exposures.

And that's why the whole idea

has become controversial.

We have fire drills

lockdown, tornado, earthquake.

Our last drill,

a lockdown drill

we did like, a full thing.

We ripped apart

the room, we grabbed tables

and we shoved it at the door

like it was real.

All the kids were scared and...

I was scared because the mic

did not say lockdown drill

or I didn't hear it.

So I thought it was

a real lockdown.

I was trying my best to hide

and it made me a little scared

and nervous because...

I didn't...

I didn't feel safe at school.

Nobody feels safe.

Nobody feels safe at school.

It's never really safe.

I dont know,

it's not really safe sometimes.

I think it'll probably happen

in our school

because people

sometimes go insane

and they might want to

like, take their anger out

on kids.

So they might want to come

to our school

and might take their anger out

on them, by k*lling us.

Maybe.

I dont... I really

don't like it because

there's a lot of

bad people in the world.

Yeah, we try not to think about

it too much or else we...

We kind of get like...

- Like, thinking about it.

- Nervous.

Kind of like Oh

a school sh**ting

is going to happen today.

That's not something that you

want to think about, right?

No...

I think that,

some of the teachers

should have, like um,

a p*stol or something

hidden in the classroom

to protect the students.

Yeah, I think that too.

Because, um...

Because if the person

does have a g*n

it would be nice to

have some protection.

Like 22 r*fles, 22 long r*fles.

At least a BB g*n for our class.

For every single class.

It would cost a little bit,

but...

it would be worth it

for the school.

- For keeping the students safe.

- Yeah.

It will cost a little bit

but it would keep

the students safe.

I wonder if my daughter

will feel the same.

When I was a kid

this never crossed my mind.

But I guess things

were different back then.

And this is America.

The first year we moved here

we k*lled 38 rattlesnakes

just on this road.

And now we might see

three or four a year.

I was a high school teacher,

for 20 years.

You started hearing of

school shootings

and I would think

what I would do.

I didn't want to...

watch something happen,

or be a victim.

I wanted to be proactive.

I remember

coming home from school

and talking to Jeff all the time

about different scenarios.

What would I do

if this happened?

What would I do

if that happened?

I want to protect my kids.

So, we were able

to collaborate together

and come up with a good system

that would work for teachers.

The point of this is

to have trained guardians.

You can put signs on your school

that say, we have armed staff.

And that's a deterrent.

You're making the school

a hard target

so somebody is not going

to want to breach that.

And that's the number one goal

of the Guardian Program.

The number two goal would be

to actually use deadly force

in the event

that there's a sh**ter.

So an important component

about the school Guardians

is they're armed.

A lot of people think

we're just giving g*ns

to teachers.

And thats not it.

So part of our training includes

scenario training on the campus.

So we have

someone that's a bad guy.

We actually put

the Guardian staff

in a sh**ting situation

where they have to

defend themselves

or, take out the sh**ter.

And that's as close to realistic

as we can make it.

It's not just for teachers,

its for all school staff.

Administration, maintenance,

IT and stuff like that.

Most of those people

are what we call seekers.

So if there's actually

a threat on campus

they would seek the threat

to stop it.

And then we have what

we call classroom defenders

like what Terry would have been.

We don't ever tell a teacher

to leave their classroom.

They need to stay

with their kids.

So if the sh**ter happened

to come in that room

then they can defend

that classroom.

So there's really two types

of Guardians that we look at.

Based on history

a sh**ter

has some tie to the school.

So you have to prepare yourself

as much as possible

and not think of that student

as a student, but as a k*ller.

We tell them that

if you do have to use

deadly force to stop a sh**ter

you're never

going to be the same.

And the opposite is true.

What if I did not have

my handgun

and let's say

ten people were k*lled?

So that guilt is also

going to weigh on that person

for the rest of their lives.

- Here's your weapon.

- Thanks.

Here's your sword.

Okay, here we go.

I have to say that um...

The thought of this happening

in my daughter's school....

- Yeah, its scary.

- It scares me.

It is.

It's frightening.

Yeah.

Most of our people

that go through that

it's pretty emotional.

Because it's on

their home campus.

It's their turf.

Do you feel like this can be

traumatizing to teachers?

Just going through the training?

Um, I think the scenario

training can be to a point.

I don't think it gets

to the point where

it's going to cause

them problems.

But I think it's going to

help them face

the reality of, if this happens

this is what

it's going to be like.

And during that time,

we have had some people

that we've had to expel

from the program

or excuse from the program

expel is a horrible word

because at that point

they didn't have...

they're not going to be able

to defend against a threat.

They're probably going

to become a victim.

And it's just...

Not everybody can do this.

How did it feel for you

as a teacher carrying a g*n?

I would say it did raise

my level of confidence

and security.

And I even told my students,

when I would introduce myself

and we would start

the school year

I would say,

I just want you to know

that no matter what happens

Ill protect you with my life.

I'm here for you in every

aspect, not just education.

And, um...

You know, it's just the care

that you have for your students.

It's natural.

By the way, they voted her

best teacher of the year.

after that.

A lot of people have

a tendency to do this.

They drop their firearm.

But when you're in combat,

this is combat

you're going to lean out.

Okay. Just a little bit.

You're trying not to expose

the rest of your body

because this is a target area

for the bad guy.

I think it's interesting

that you say, this is combat.

And I'm talking specifically

about schools.

- You refer to it as...

- Well, its combat training.

That's what it is.

A lot of this training,

it comes from my experience

other law enforcement

officers experience.

Military experience.

And it's, the way

it's been described

and the way we describe it,

because we want it to be bold

is combat training.

You are in combat

against someone

who's trying to k*ll you.

The only other place that

you see a situation like this

is on the b*ttlefield,

in a w*r.

We're not prepared for combat.

Do we have tools

to combat

an event?

Yes.

But we're not laying siege

on anything.

We're not going to w*r.

We're going to protect.

So it's not combat...

its protection.

I don't know any educator

that wants to do this.

I don't want to have to have...

I don't want to

have to carry a g*n.

I don't want to have to have

a bulletproof vest.

I dont want to have

to have any of that.

But the times in

which we live...

are dictating that.

And so like everything else,

we evolve.

And that's what we've done.

And as a result of that,

we now have AR-15s

as part of our weaponry

that we have here on school

stored in safes

throughout the campus.

It's just another tool.

And so its just

one other deterrent that we have

in case the bad guys

want to do bad things.

In small towns,

there are some limitations.

We have

no local police department.

Our local sheriff's

department...

The office is a minimum

of 15 minutes away.

Even if they're running with

their sirens on

it's going to take time.

So why do we give

someone with bad intentions

more time?

You know, we will have

in essence,

our own police force

our teachers,

that choose to be armed.

Because my teachers

will be closer to the action

than anyone else would be.

Did you ever have

any outside threats

like, did something ever happen?

When I first got here in 2014

I actually had a teacher

go into a diabetic state.

He grabbed a g*n

and fired two shots.

And here I am.

I'm running after

somebody that has a g*n

trying to figure out

what's going on.

And I'm like, you know

there's something

not quite right here.

I'm running unarmed,

towards a guy that is armed.

And I'm just like, okay.

And when we found him,

he was passed out

and we had EMT,

shortly afterwards and stuff.

And sure enough,

it was very low insulin.

And he was...

He wound up being okay

But, he didn't teach

at Fayetteville ISD

for much longer after that.

- Can I ask another question?

- Yeah.

Isnt it kind of funny, that...

The...

The thing that got you

into giving g*ns to teachers

was actually

a teacher with a g*n?

You know what?

I really never thought of it

that way.

But yes, it is. It is a

very interesting concept.

And, you know, I do...

see kind of the, you know

kind of the backwards thinking

on that now.

So thank you

for pointing that out.

But yet at the same time,

you know...

You know, it's not fun.

It's not something

we want to do.

But I think

it's creating awareness

and I think it's creating,

giving kids an understanding of

hey, I'm going to be protected

because these people

care about me.

g*ns are

the leading cause of death

among children

in the United States.

4000 children

will die of g*ns this year

in the United States.

Wow.

- That's a very sad number.

- That's a very sad number.

Its a billion dollar industry

to make schools safer.

But it's

a false sense of security.

The fact remains that

most of the children

who die of g*ns

in the United States

die away from the school.

They're dying in the community

on the streets,

in the household.

And so we have

our priorities misplaced.

We react in the wrong places,

and then we have

this blame game.

We blame Democrats,

Republicans, immigration,

criminals, mental illness,

too many g*ns.

Everything comes into play.

We have a great divide

as a nation

on what should we do?

I don't really see...

how g*ns could help us

feel more safe.

I've never...

until recently thought that

I needed to protect my house.

Only, like during the pandemic

did I start thinking

oh, maybe

I need a g*n for protection.

You know, because of

the uncertainty

with everything

that was going on.

I always thought of

just having a shotgun.

Do you really think that if

somebody breaks into the house

that you're going to sh**t him?

I would sh**t him in the legs.

Like, if some crazy guy

breaks in here?

Right...

Trust me, I would not be

trying to sh**t anybody.

No, but that's

what everybody says, right?

It's just for the bad guy.

- You know, its just..

- Im just trying to understand.

It's for your,

your mental, you know...

well-being.

It makes you feel better.

But, yeah.

It doesn't always work.

Obviously.

But, it makes you feel better.

Yeah. Okay.

That's why people do it.

Because they feel

that they're afraid.

That's what this country

is all about.

- Being afraid.

- Right.

You know, we're all afraid

so we feel like we have to...

So do you feel afraid then?

- In this country?

- Yeah.

Like there's a lot of violence

in this country.

It happens everywhere,

all the time, so...

I don't know, sometimes,

you know, I think about it.

It's a possibility.

It could happen to anyone.

And that's a problem.

You know.

That people think

that they need a g*n?

That's a problem?

Yeah. Yeah.

And that there are

g*ns everywhere.

So it's like

well, everybody else has a g*n,

so I better get a g*n.

- When does it end?

- Yeah.

Sometimes I wonder

if we should raise Zara

here at all.

Yeah.

That's how I feel.

You're safe now.

You're in a safe space,

youre in a safe place now.

So let's begin on an inhale

with a count to four.

One, two, three, four...

And hold it there.

One, two, three, four

five, six, seven, and exhale.

Release

two, three, four

five, six, seven, eight.

So let's just ground.

Just notice your feet

rooted to the floor.

Notice the seat supporting you

where you're sitting.

Uvalde...

was a vicarious trauma

that everyone in Texas

experienced.

How do we as a collective heal

from traumatic experience,

right?

When something

traumatic happens

we withdraw.

But then the other response

is to kind of attack it

or create like a...

make it into the,

like the bad guy, like...

Were fighting against

this big thing, right?

We're going to as*ault it back

and were going to k*ll it.

We're going to make it go,

right?

And so I think that can create

more stress and fear.

One of the things that came

out of the extreme fear is

drills in all public schools.

In my son's former school,

during a lockdown drill

one of the teachers

in the building

had forgotten to close her door.

And as the principal went around

to check all of the doors

and that they were following

all of their protocols...

He came upon her open door

and he entered into the room

and he went,

Bang bang bang bang!

You would be dead because

you didn't close this door.

Don't ever make that

mistake again.

You know,

which is fear and threat.

My daughter...

she did participate in

sh**ter drills at school.

She seemed to handle it fine

but her peers

were really scared.

One of the things I think

she learned from a peer was

she was three years old,

and she would come home

and you know, talk to me

while I'm putting her to bed

about how

If a bad guy would try

to mess with me

I would just beat him up.

And I would get him.

So to hear that kind of talk

from a three year old...

I was just like,

why are you thinking about this?

It thinks Im a bad guy.

Oh, ok.

It sees me.

Theyre coming.

I do want the schools,

to be prepared

in the event of something

catastrophic happening.

And at the same time,

I don't want my child

to feel like

they're under threat.

I want them to feel safe.

Like all parents,

I want my kid to feel safe.

But what does that mean?

Hey pumpkin.

Want to see my stethoscope?

Oh, what is that?

Stories of g*n violence

have become a part

of my everyday life

in the most unexpected places.

Can we listen to your heartbeat?

Oh, there we go.

In stores, at playgrounds

even at our

pediatrician's office.

Although if she starts daycare,

we'll see you sooner, right.

So we do expect

the average kid in daycare

to get about

seven to ten colds a year.

Oh wow.

So, not uncommon

to start seeing the runny noses.

So, we just kind of

like to prepare parents

to get ready for a

few more illnesses with daycare.

But a lot of times,

its really fun...

When I found out

you were doing this documentary

it just immediately was like,

this is something

so near and dear to myself

and my daughter.

As a pediatrician, we know

the value of preparedness.

We do.

We know the value of

a fire drill and

a tornado drill.

But with kids,

those kind of drills

they don't have a bad guy,

right?

And so the notion of

an active sh**ter drill

brings in an element of

there are unsafe people.

And, um...

that is

a whole different level of

of, um...

anxiety for kids.

Unfortunately,

there's some reality too.

On January 26, 2021

so just a little over

two years ago

we had a g*nman

come into our office

at the end of our clinic day

with the sole intention

of k*lling a female physician

that day.

My daughter was dropped off

a few minutes

before the g*nman came.

At the time she was twelve.

She already had some anxiety.

In fact, for years,

she actually has had nightmares

about active shooters.

Even though prior to that

she never experienced

any g*n violence.

The idea for her

that the boogeyman is now human

and really did do harm,

became very real.

That day actually started off,

not pleasant.

I had a fight with my dad

and that ended up with

me feeling like wanting to die.

When my mom wanted

to take me inside to her office

a group of people

came outside, running.

There was a g*nman

inside the office

that had hostage equipment.

And we didn't know

what his intentions were.

We just knew that

there was a guy in the office

that had a g*n.

The doctor that was inside

that day

she was helping my mom

with finding like,

stuff for my therapy

that specific day.

I remember

my mom telling us that, like

she wasn't going to die.

And if anyone could go through

a hostage situation escape

that would be her.

Because she just had this, like

way of talking that

you could get along with her

even if you were like,

a m*rder*r.

And that's when my mom

told us all to run

to the office next door.

I asked my mom like,

a couple times, like:

Are we going to die?

What did she answer?

She couldn't answer...

because she didn't have

an answer.

At the time that was

the worst possible thing...

was silence and not knowing

if I actually was or not.

And that helped me realize,

like, that's not what I want.

I don't want die,

I want to live.

I want to experience life

in a way that...

is amazing and fun and...

That's definitely not

how I wanted to die.

We had hours of being concerned

that our lives were in danger.

And to look at

your child at twelve

laying on the floor.

And then six hours of SWAT.

My daughter had to watch

a SWAT team

prepare over and over again,

how to handle the situation.

And unfortunately,

it did not end how we expected.

And she had to process,

just like myself...

when they came and told us that,

that our dear friend, her doctor

had been shot and, um...

I think we were

honestly in shock.

We had no idea that

that was going to happen.

Because, like...

Sirens.

Do they

make you feel uncomfortable?

Yeah.

What is going through your mind,

now that you're hearing them?

Just a lot of stuff.

When I hear sirens, I...

go straight to shootings.

And I'm not safe.

Her lockdown drills now...

We have it set up where

she does not participate

in active sh**ter drills

at school.

So her counselor at school

knows to pull her.

If I'm not working,

I will go pick her up

and we will go have coffee.

Just because it is...

Its too much for her.

Yeah, it changes you.

Are you supposed to have

a drill this week?

I'm not sure.

Honestly, nobody will know.

I'm usually the one that knows.

Yeah, I didnt see a note

from your counselor.

But they dont send out

an email to everybody?

No.

So youre the only one

that knows.

It's a surprise,

even for the teachers.

Do they announce

that it's a drill?

- Do they say: This is a drill?

- No, no.

This is a real emergency,

is what they say.

So what happens

if someone's in the hallway?

The doors are locked

so you can't go back in.

That's why I don't use

the restroom at school

or go in the hallway.

Because you're afraid

you're gonna get stuck

in a lockdown.

- Oh my...

- Yeah.

It's kind of weird

because as much training

as you get

the very person that may come up

and sh**t up your school

is going to have gone

through the same training.

Oh yeah.

Kids out of America

they, like look at us

like we're crazy.

Because honestly

they don't have to go through,

what we go through.

And that is mind blowing,

because that's...

that's our lives now.

I would love to wake up

and go to school

and not have to worry

about dying.

Not have to worry about

getting a bulletproof backpack.

That sucks.

It sure does.

When do you have to do

your debate?

- Wednesday.

- Are you ready?

No...

I have to memorize the speech.

So do you remember

how youre starting your speech?

Run, hide, fight.

Run. Hide. Fight.

Three words you think

you would never need to know

especially at school.

You would think

school is a place to learn

but right now, it feels like

it could be a place to die.

America shouldn't be like this.

Schools shouldn't be like this.

We need to become

the kind of country that says

lives of children

are more valuable

than the right to weapons

that have k*lled them.

Time and time again.

Since Columbine.

Since Sandy Hook.

Since Red Lake.

Since West Nickel Mines.

Since Virginia Tech.

Since Oikos.

Since Umpqua.

Since Parkland. Since Santa Fe.

Since Uvalde.

Since Northern Illinois's.

Since UT. Since West Side.

Since Iowa.

Since Michigan State.

Since Nashville.

Since...

The fact that I can name

hundreds more makes me sick.

The question it comes down to

is kids or g*ns.

The Uvalde sh**ter

reportedly used

an AR-15 style

semi-automatic r*fle

in the bloodbath

at Robb Elementary School

in Uvalde, Texas

which is three hours

away from us.

It took nearly 77 minutes

for nearly

400 law enforcement officers

to face an 18 year old

with an AR-15

who m*rder*d 21 people

in just minutes.

Many were unidentifiable.

I grew up in Uvalde.

I was a bookworm.

I always loved reading.

I was much you know,

very much a rule follower.

One time

I was chewing gum in class

and I got sent

to lunch detention

because I was

chewing gum in class

and that was not allowed.

And that was the only time

I ever got in trouble.

Are you still a rule follower?

Because that's really funny

that you say

chewing gum is like the worst...

Yes, yes.

Good girl!

When I was in second grade

my teacher asked me

to go up to the board

and I was showing something

to the students.

I think we were doing math.

I liked it.

I like being up there

and, you know,

the class following me.

And since then

I always knew

that's what I wanted to do.

I wanted to be a teacher.

I started in 1993.

So 30 years I've been teaching.

I loved it.

And then it just turned...

you know, everything went bad.

On May 24th

we only had

three more days of school to go.

So we...

That day we were doing

some STEM projects

with newspaper.

We were going to have

a little race

and they were going to try out

their newspaper shoes

to see who made

the sturdiest shoes.

So we took some pictures.

I think we took

about four or five pictures.

And so then they lined up

and we're getting ready

to go outside.

And then my line leader

she's looking out the window

and she says

Miss...

Miss Demings class

came in...

screaming and

they ran in the room

and they slammed the door.

And I said

let me see what's,

what's going on.

So then, um...

she moves out of the way

and I open the door

and I...

poke my head

out into the hallway

to see, you know

if I could see what's going on.

And when I do that,

I hear somebody screaming

Get in your rooms,

get in your rooms!

So immediately I know

something is going on.

I slam the door shut.

I turn off the lights.

We had blackout curtains

so the room was very dark.

They all start running

to the corner

where we usually do

our lock down drill

and as soon as we're doing that

we start hearing

the shots in the hallway.

Some of the girls start crying

and I'm trying to

calm them down.

And I feel

something hit me...

in my stomach.

And so I put my hand

immediately on there and...

And then I see

that I have blood.

So I tell the kids

Oh, no...

Im shot.

Is anybody else hurt?

They say, No, no.

And then by that point,

I fall to the floor.

This b*llet had to go through

three walls to get to me.

And...

and we keep hearing,

we keep hearing...

Shots. More and more shots.

And it just sounds like,

one right after the other

like that, just

fire, fire, fire.

And, um...

They're scared.

Theyre scared for me.

But I tell them

we need to stay down.

We need to stay quiet.

And, um...

I was praying, you know

I didn't want to die

in front of my kids.

I didn't want them

you know, to go through that.

And then, my little girls,

some of my little girls

that were next to me

were patting me

and they were telling me

We love you, Miss.

Youre going to be okay.

It's okay.

So they were

very, very brave.

So what do you feel about

teaching kids

to go hide behind the corner

to protect yourself

from a guy

with a weapon like that?

That doesn't make sense, right?

The kids knowing what to do and,

you know, trying to stay safe

helped in my,

in my classroom

but in the classrooms where

he was able to get in, you know

there was really nothing

they could do.

There was nowhere to hide,

you know.

If the same thing

would have been

in my classroom too,

if he had entered...

There really wasn't...

much, that we could have done.

So, um...

I really don't know that

the drills are

the solution either.

We need...

we need more.

In the beginning,

it was so hard.

In the hospital,

the first two weeks...

I couldn't tolerate any noises.

Any sudden sounds

would trigger me back.

Whenever I would

hear noises, I would...

I would start panicking

and I would start crying

uncontrollably.

I couldn't be around anybody.

I just had my sister.

I did everything.

You know,

I followed all the protocol

for the drills and everything.

I still ended up

getting injured.

He never came to my classroom,

but I still ended up...

So it's like you say,

how do you prepare for that?

Wear a bulletproof vest

every day, I guess, I mean...

- Bulletproof walls?

- Bulletproof everything.

Bulletproof our life. I mean...

Live in a bubble?

Live in a bubble?

Its crazy.

Because now even y'all here now,

are doing the drills, right?

It's supposed to be instant.

So, when they tell you:

do this

you automatically know

what to do.

Yeah, I just sit in my office.

Okay, how am I going to dig

my way out of here?

- You know, I start thinking...

- I know, thats scary.

That's me,

when I go somewhere...

Grab my g*n.

Because I don't know

if she told you

I do carry a g*n.

Do you really feel comfortable

stopping an active sh**ter?

If somebody is coming at me

you think

I'm not going to defend myself

If I know how to sh**t back?

I wouldn't hesitate.

- I would not hesitate.

- Youre different than me.

I guess because you're

in a different setting.

You're in an office

and you're by yourself.

I'm with...

- You're with kids.

- 20 kids, you know.

You're with kids.

I would have to think, you know.

Well no, even then.

More so.

- To protect them?

- To protect them.

- Then Im not a g*n person

- You're not a g*n person.

You're afraid of g*ns.

You don't like,

You don't like them at all.

I've never been afraid of them.

We're just different that way.

Yeah.

I even practice

to make sure that

I sh**t, you know...

to stop the person.

How do you how to,

where to stop them.

- Where do you have to sh**t?

- Body mass.

- I dont even...

- Or artery.

But that's harder

to sh**t up here.

That's why you,

full body mass.

But wouldn't you sh**t

at their hand...

Their sh**ting hand?

No, because if you miss,

they're going to sh**t you.

That's true. See?

So y'all study all that

when you take those classes?

- Yes.

- Oh, ok.

Now you know, sister.

We should feel safe

when we're around you.

I guess you can protect us.

Well, Im going to try, yeah.

That's true.

How many more g*ns

do people

in the United States need

to feel better, to feel safe?

There is no end to it.

Uvalde, Texas.

There were so many good guys

standing outside

and not confronting the bad guy.

So how long can we just fixate

on the bad guy.

I don't want to become

this person

that feels the need

to go get a g*n

to protect myself.

Yeah.

I just don't want to be

like that.

That person.

And I dont...

I just don't want to worry

about her the whole time.

And I don't want her

to grow up like that, so...

You know.

I don't want her

to think about all this sh*t.

Its ridiculous.

Yeah, to live in fear

is just a horrible way to live.

I don't think people realize

the effects that it has on you

- and your well-being.

- No.

If youre...

afraid to send

your kid to school

You're afraid

to go to the grocery store.

So for me,

this is not a safe place

for a kid to grow up.

I don't want to

have that anymore.

It's not worth it.

- No, its not.

- It's not worth it.

I think after all of this, that

me and my husband

kind of came to the conclusion

that we should raise our kid

in Belgium and not here.

Not only because

there might be a school sh**ting

but also, there might be

a drill going wrong

there might be a teacher

that loses it

that is carrying a g*n,

you know.

Yeah, I...

I don't fault you

for your thinking

and for your logic.

And I can only imagine

how kind of jarring, or shocking

coming here and seeing

this firsthand must be.

It really must be,

quite the experience.

It is, yeah.

It is an embarrassment when...

we all think we live

in the best country in the world

and we can't really solve

this problem.

And other countries

really don't have this problem.

Because I do think there are

steps that could be done

but we just have chosen not

to do it for whatever reason.

It saddens me to see

you say something like that.

And I get where

you're coming from.

I would absolutely leave.

It's not to say

there aren't good people here.

And it's not to say

that changes aren't happening.

They're just not happening

fast enough.

And why would you stay

if you have another option.

Do yall have

lockdown drills in Belgium?

No we dont.

We never had one.

- Ever?

- Ever.

We also never had

a school sh**ting.

Oh my gosh...

That's crazy.

So, and here's

the question I ask.

Okay, so yeah,

you have a problem with this.

What's your solution?

How should we protect kids?

How should we save kids lives?

The best way to do that

within our laws over here

is to use deadly force

with a firearm.

And that's just the way it is.

And it's always

going to be like that.