02x02 - Girls' Night

[bunniefuu]

- That was my dorm hallway
and this is my fancy dorm.

Check out the exquisite
craftsmanship.

- I'll bet even the knock
sounds expensive.

[knocking on door]
Sounds like Beverly Hills.

- I can see why
you came to Wentworth.

Not only will it help you
get to the pros,

but this place
is pretty sweet.

- No way.

There must be like $500 worth
of tropical fish in here.

Oh, hey, that one's floating.

Oh...

No way.

There must be like $465 worth
of tropical fish in there.

- Yeah, pretty fancy, right?
And guess what they eat.

French truffles.
- What?

- No way.
- Are you serious?

- Nah, nah,
I'm just kidding.

I'm not sure
what they eat.

- Well, that explains
the floater.

- Whoa, nice TV.

- Yep, it's HD3D KYHOF.
- Wait, what's KYHOF?

- Keep Your Hands Off Fool.
- Oh.

- Oh, my gosh,
this bed is awesome.

The memory foam
is to die for.

Oh, no, I'm sinking in!

I might get stuck
in here forever.

But I'm okay with that.

- [text bings]
- That's my mom.

Time for us to go, guys.

I have to get back for
my end of the summer

girls' night
with Sophie and Pepper.

I'm gonna miss you, Troy.

- I'm gonna miss y'all, too.

I mean, I can't believe
I don't know anyone here.

I'm gonna have to make
all new friends.

It's just weird, you know?

- Oh, you'll be
all right, bro.

So maybe we can
come visit some time?

- Yeah, I'd love that.

All right, now get outta here
before I get all misty-eyed.

- Bye, Troy.
- Bye, guys.

- Take care, man.
- Yeah, you, too.

- Oh, uh, I forgot
to say goodbye.

- Aw, bring it in,
little man.

- Excuse me.

[voice cracking]
Goodbye.

I'm gonna miss you.

[holds breath]

- ♪

- ♪ You won't find
me in the bleachers ♪

- ♪ Yeah that girl
is one of us ♪

- ♪ I'm made of spice
and sugar ♪

- ♪ She's pretty...
she's pretty tough ♪

- ♪ Then add
a little glitter ♪

- ♪ She off in
a cloud of dust ♪

- ♪ And you get...
you get... ♪

- ♪ A game changer,
play maker ♪

♪ Take the ball,
she'll see ya later ♪

- ♪ I'm on a dreamlike,
teamlike ♪

♪ Livin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ Play like Friday night

♪ Kickin' like
one of the boys ♪

- ♪ She got it goin', goin',
she got it goin' on ♪

- ♪ One of the boys

- PEPPER & SOPHIE:
[laughing]

- SOPHIE: Bella,
come on out. Show us.

- BELLA: Okay.

Check it out.

Well, what do you think?

- I love it.
- What?

Seriously, mama,
did you do all that?

- Yeah, I did.
It took me five months.

- Five months?

- Yeah, football has really
cut into my crafting time.

This is fun.

In fact, I would say
this girls' night

has been kind of perfect.

- It has.
- [doorbell rings]

- Speaking of perfect.
There's the pizza--finally.

My body was starting
to eat itself alive.

- Maybe the perfect
girls' night will continue

with the perfect
super-cute pizza boy.

- BELLA: Oooh!

- Dang, girl, he must
be a supermodel.

- He's Zach Barnes.

- Zach Barnes? He's cute.

I mean, Zach Barnes?
Arrgghh!

- You cannot be serious.

- I haven't seen that
jerk since last year

when he bailed on
our Homecoming date.

- Yeah, just because
you beat his team.

What a butt-knuckle.

- Not to downplay
how terrible it was,

but he's out there
with our pizza

and I'm crazy hungry, so...

- Okay, um, you guys
get the door.

He doesn't know you
and I don't wanna see him, so...

- Hey, did you girls
order a pizza?

- Yeah, did you order
a door in the face?

- ZACH: What?
- [door slams]

- Shutting off the porch light.
[clicks switch]

- So you might wanna
watch out for the--

- ZACH: [high-pitched squeal]
- Cactus.

- Thanks for getting
rid of him.

- My pleasure.
- And now back to girls' night.

Mmmm, this pizza
smells so good.

Hey.

- I'm not eating anything
associated with Zach Barnes!

- Yeah. Me neither.

Aw...

- And, if you get hungry,

the cafeteria has
free food delivery

all day or night.

Just pick up the room
phone and dial.

- Oh, what can I get?
- Anything.

For example, seven corn dogs
at 1:00 in the morning.

- What? Who would ever
order that? [laughs]

Did...did you enjoy them?

- So good.

And those Wentworth tablets
come preloaded with

all your textbooks
and football playbooks.

- Ah, awesome.
Hey, what's this app do?

- [farting noise]
- BOTH: [laughing]

- That's the fart machine.

And I have an app
that can do this.

- Ah, room remote.
Impressive.

Here, let me give
it a try.

- [mellow jazz music]
- [fire crackling]

- Uh. Heh.

- That was...
- [music & fire stop]

- I'm sure you'll
get the hang of it.

- Yeah, yeah.

Uh, thanks for showing
me the ropes, Rufus.

It's not easy
being the new guy.

- It's cool. I was the new
guy last year.

So I know what it's like to have
to make all new friends.

- Don't forget
your old friends!

Ha! Ha!
- We're back, sucka!

- Hey, I knew you guys
would be back.

I didn't know it
would be the same day.

- Hi, I'm Troy's friend Newt.
- Hi, I'm Troy's roommate.

First name Rufus, last name...
- [farting noise]

- SAWYER: [laughing]
Oh, nice.

I'm Troy's other friend.

First name Sawyer.
Last name--

- Man, if you're not
usin' the app, stop!

- Hey, I'm gonna meet
some of the team

for dinner in the cafeteria.

Do you guys wanna come?
- Nah, nah, we're good.

We'll order from the cafeteria
delivery service. Thanks.

- Cool. Well,
nice meeting you guys.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Ah, yes,
this is Mr. Dixon.

Um, I'll take three
bacon cheeseburgers

and three root beers.
- SAWYER: Ohhh...

- Also, do you have
any suggestions

on what to feed the fish?

The flaky stuff?

sh**t, I thought that
was for the pizza.

- A lion? A tiger? A liger?

- A dirty rotten cobra.

- That thing clearly
has legs.

- I think she's
talking about Zach. Again.

- Look at me.
I'm a pizza guy now.

Aren't I special?

[tsk'ing] Dork.

- Bella, if you don't let
this Zach Barnes thing go,

it'll eat away
at you forever.

Like the hunger pains
in my stomach

after you threw
out the pizza.

- Yeah, ever since
Zach showed up,

you've been a mess.

- Sorry. I won't
let him ruin tonight.

So, who wants
to watch a movie?

- We have "Not Boyfriend
Material" and "He's the Worst."

- [groaning]

- Sorry, I rented
these before I knew

who the pizza
guy would be.

- Bella, if you wanna
get past Zach,

you need to get
revenge on him.

Make him feel as bad
as he made you feel.

- Yeah, it would be
fun to t*rture him.

But I really want
an apology.

- [gasping] I know
what you should do.

Order another pizza.
Extra cheese.

- How does that solve
her Zach problem?

- It doesn't.
Who wants mushrooms?

- Wait. But it could.

Ordering another pizza
will get Zach back here.

And as soon as he sees me,
he'll feel guilty,

and give me the apology he
should have given me last year.

- I know you're talking,
but all I hear is...

"Pizza, pizza, pizza."

- Ah, this dress code
is gonna be a breeze.

As soon as I learn
how to tie this tie.

- Sorry, Troy, I'd help,

but I'm trying to find
you a good slumber number.

- Uh, I think I'm a three.

- No, no, no, you may
think you're a three.

But you're actually...
[snoring]

Oooh! Sorry!
I fell asleep for a second.

This bed is amazing.

- All right, look, it was good
of you guys to stop by.

But I have a team meeting
to get ready for, so...

Hey! Hey! Hey, man,
take it easy.

I don't want the team
to think I'm messy.

- Oh, no problem.

I was just about to
vacuum anyway. Hm.

- [motor whirring,
sizzling]

- Oh, poor thing.

At least he died
doing what he loves.

- When are your parents coming
to pick you guys up?

- I forget. Let me check.

- Oh! Nothing like hot sauce
on an open blister.

I, uh, guess you guys
are still here, huh?

- Yeah, I know.

Look, I love 'em,
but I've gotta say

I'm kinda looking forward
to them leaving

so I can settle in
with the new team, you know?

- Yeah, that'd be good.

- My mom just talked
to Newt's dad

and we can stay
the whole weekend! Yes!

- Yay.
- Woo!

Would you look
at that, Troy.

Little guy's droolin'
all over your pillow.

- Okay, guys, let's go over
the plan for when Zach arrives.

- You're going to get the door.

- And we'll give you
and Zach some space.

- Right and as soon
as he sees

my "You know what
you did" face,

he'll melt into
a puddle of apologies.

We may hug, we may not hug.

And he might even go
as far as to ask me out.

But I'll say "no"

because I have far
too much self respect.

- Yeah, you do, mama.
- [palm slap]

- [laughing] I am so excited
for this pizza--

uh, guy to apologize.

- [doorbell rings]
- He's here.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh.

- [exhales forcefully]

- Hey, Bella.
It's good to see you.

- Zach.

- Uh, okay, well,
here's your pizza.

- And?

- And that'll be $15.

- Don't you have
something to say?

- I thought I already
said it.

- Unbelievable.

- What?
- [door slams]

- I can't believe it.

That loser didn't apologize
and I did--

three times!

Oh, but I know what
to do now.

- PEPPER: Eat?
- Get my revenge.

- Sweet!
- Cool.

So, you guys want
any plates or...?

Yep, throwin' this away.

- Okay, Sophie, revenge.

Give me your worst.
- Okay.

The perfect revenge is something
Zach will never forget.

Something that hits
him where it hurts.

- I've got it--
we get on that phone,

place the biggest,
heaviest order we can

and make Zach
bring it to us.

I'm talking like three extra
large pizzas, cheesy sticks,

garlic knots with
little Italian meats.

Maybe some salad.
- Pepper!

If you're so hungry,
eat something. Have a banana.

That was perfect pizza!
Pizza, pizza, pizza!

- Wait, okay, Pepper might
be onto something.

We're going to make
this the worst night

of Zach's pizza-
delivering life.

Pass me my phone, Soph.
- [phone clatters]

- Sorry. Reflex.

I'm so hungry.

- Vitale's Pizza?

I placed an order tonight
and when it got here,

it was completely
messed up.

Why thank you.
I would like a replacement.

- [doorbell rings]

- Um, hi.
So here's your new pizza.

I'm sorry for
the mix-up. Bye.

- Wait, wait, wait, there's not
enough mushrooms on here.

- Yeah, we ordered
"Mushroom Lover's"

not "Mushroom Liker's."

- What?
- Take it back, pizza boy.

- Oh, and by the way,
we moved that--

- ZACH: Ow!
- Cactus.

- ALL: [laughing]

- Here he comes.
Hit it.

- ZACH: Ah, the sprinkler!

- ALL: [laughing]

- [water splashes]
- SOPHIE: Oh!

- This pizza's all wet.
- So am I.

- Take it back, pizza boy.

- ALL: [laughing]
- [palm slaps]

- Shouldn't Zach
be here by now?

- Oh, Zach's not coming here.

I placed an order that sent him
to the neighbors' house.

- Why would you do that?

- They have a pit bull

and he loves chasing
delivery boys.

- [dog barking]
- ZACH: [screaming]

- ALL: [laughing]

- You're right, Sophie,
revenge is fun.

- SOPHIE: [sighing]
So good.

- Yes, that's one
banana-nut muffin,

one very large hot chocolate
and a dozen hot wings.

Oh, wait. Troy, you want
some hot wings?

- No.

- Your mouth says "no,"
but your stomach says,

"Want more wings!"
[laughing]

Make that two dozen
hot wings.

And do you know
what, Kelly?

Why don't you get
something for yourself?

Just put it on my tab.

- You don't have a tab.

- You know what?
You're right.

Put it on Troy's tab.
Thanks, Troy.

- Guys, this bed
is so good,

I was dreaming
about sleeping.

Wait, is this real?
Am I here?

Who cares?

- TROY: I can't
believe these guys.

- It happens.

Your squad comes to visit and
act like they're on vacation.

- What am I supposed to do?

I can't just kick
'em out, you know?

They're my boys.

But maybe I can make it hard
for them to want to stay.

- [loud drumming music]
- Turn it up!

- Sorry, Newt. Ha.

Didn't mean to
disturb your sleep.

Hope it's not
too loud for ya.

- No way. I am
feelin' this track.

Watch out. Newt's gettin'
it turned up.

- OTHERS: [laughing]
- Ready?

- TROY: Newt, no.
- NEWT: [laughing]

- Last time. No.

- [motorcycle engine revving]

- [turns off TV]

- [dramatic music]
- [turns off TV]

- What?
- [dramatic music]

- [turns off TV]
- Hey!

Troy, I think
your TV's broken.

- Oh, so unfortunate.

Well, I guess there's no
reason to stay anymore.

- [knock at door]
- Unless the food's here!

- This ends now.

- [mellow jazz music]
- Ooh, "Quiet Storm," okay?

Hello?

Troy, this music
is perfect,

'cause I'm about
to make out--

with these hot wings.

Thank you.

- Ooh, pillow dance.

- I'm glad that's
not my pillow.

- Oh, Troy,
I've got your wings.

Catch!

- [basket thuds]

- Are you kidding me?

- Zach's not gonna
know what hit him

when that door opens.
- [plastic blasters clicking]

- The wrath of a girl scorned.

- And the wrath of
a girl starved.

- [doorbell rings]

- You can take the kneecaps,
I'll take the rest.

- Unarmed!

- You're not Zach.

- Nope, I'm Lavelle.

So, one large pepperoni with
sausage, ham, meatballs,

Canadian bacon, chicken
and shrimp pizza.

It sounds delicious.

That'll be $22.73.

- Uh, but where's Zach?

- Zach's fired.

That'll be $22.73.

- Fired? Why was he fired?

- He had a ton of
customer complaints

and returned pizzas tonight,

and the manager
had enough.

Too bad. He was a good kid.

Didn't deserve
to go out like that.

That'll be $22.73.

- Oh, my gosh, that's awful.

- I just wanted to
teach Zach a lesson,

not make him lose his job.

- I mean, I'm all
for revenge, but...

maybe we went
a little too far.

- We should figure out a way
to get Zach his job back.

Agree?
- SOPHIE & PEPPER: Agreed.

- That'll be--
- ALL: $22.73!

- There's an extra
five bucks for you

if you've got some
garlic knots in your car.

- No garlic knots,

but I've got some
old parmesan packets

in my glove compartment.

- I'll take it.
- Okay.

- Okay, I think
my plan is working.

- It better 'cause
I need to get some sleep.

- No TV, no stereo,
no food service.

My dorm has turned into a pretty
lame hangout spot, huh?

- Dude, don't even
worry about it.

- Yeah, check it out.

We gave the fish voices.
You're gonna love it.

- Pardon me, fish friend,

can you point your
way to the restroom?

- Uh, you're swimming
in it, sir.

- SAWYER & NEWT:
[laughing]

- Now you try, Troy.
It's fun.

- Guys, it's time
for you to go.

- Which fish voice was that?

- Oh, probably that
snooty angelfish.

- Yeah, he's always
swimming around

like he's got a spear g*n stuck
up his you-know-what.

It's very intimidating
to the other fish in the tank.

- It's not a fish,
man, it's me.

Can't you guys
take a hint?

Let me move on
with my new life.

Look, I powered down all the
electronics with my tablet.

And I called Kelly
in the cafeteria

and told her to
freeze my account.

- [gasping]
You called Kel-Kel?

- Does this mean you don't
think you have bedbugs?

- No!

But I do think you
were taking certain...

unforgiveable liberties
with my pillow.

- If you want us to go,
we'll go.

We're only here because
this morning

you said it was lonely
being the new guy in school.

- Yeah, we thought we could
help ease you into

the new school year by making
it feel more like home.

- Sorry for getting
on your nerves.

We'll leave.

- Guys, wait.

I didn't know that that's
what you were trying to do.

Even though you were
getting on my nerves,

having you around has made
me feel less...lonely.

So, thank you and I'm
sorry I yelled at you.

- Um, I just wanted
to apologize for

any actions I may have
taken with your pillow.

- You know what?
We should call it a night.

- Yeah! Dibs on the bed!

- Yeah, you're right.
You should probably take it.

- And I believe this
belongs to you.

- Okay, the plan
is we call Vitale's,

apologize profusely,

and beg them to give
Zach his job back.

- And if that fails,
we get him a job

spinning a sign outside
my dad's dental office.

- That sounds so lame.

- Hey, he gets free floss.

- Oh, that makes it better.

- [doorbell rings]

- Zach, I heard what happened
and I am so sorry.

We were just about
to call the restaurant and--

- Hey, look, don't bother.
- Oh, no, it's that bad?

- No, Bella, I didn't
really get fired.

Look! Gotcha! Ha.

Ha? Ha?

- I was actually
worried about you.

- Hey, look, I only
did this because

you guys put me through
the ringer tonight.

- Yeah? Well, you were a jerk
to Bella at Homecoming

and never even apologized.

- Look, I was acting
like an idiot last year.

But I've apologized a hundred
times since then.

Don't you ever
read my emails?

- Well...no.

As soon as you stood me up,
I blocked your email address.

I may have also
blocked your number.

And I may have also written
some nasty things about you

on the wall in
the girls' bathroom.

- Okay, didn't you
at least open

the first pizza
I delivered tonight?

- Sorry, I...I threw
that away.

- Like a monster.
- Aren't you full yet?

- I like to eat. Sue me.

- "I'm so so sorry." Aw.

That must have
taken some work.

- As far as apologies go,
it's pretty "cheesy."

[laughing]

Continue talking.
- I thought it was great.

- Look, Bella,
I knew this was your house.

And I've been leaving
menus here all summer

on the chance that
you'd call and order--

and you finally did.

- And I spent the whole
night terrorizing you.

- And I took it because
I was so wrong

for what I did at
Homecoming--totally wrong.

I wanted to make sure you
knew how sorry I was.

- That's so sweet.

- Can we be friends?

- No, absolutely not.
- What?

- Gotcha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Of course, we can
be friends.

- Awesome.
Well, hey, I've gotta go.

My buddy Lavelle
took my deliveries

and I think your neighbors

actually placed an order
this time, so...

- [dog barking]
- LAVELLE: [screaming]

- Oh, gosh. Just throw
him the pizza, Lavelle!

It's not worth it!
- [loud thud]

- Oh, no, he tripped.
- LAVELLE: Zaaaaach!

- Bye, Zach.

- OMG! That was so sweet!

- [dreamily]
I know...

- We should call
Animal Control.

- I know.

- Spaghetti?
- Oh, arm...armpit?

- Jennifer Lawrence?

- Jennifer Lawrence's
armpit? Bam!

- Really? No. Look, it's...

- TROY: Guys,
it's a hurricane, duh.

- Thank you!

See? Troy gets me.

- Dang it.
- Come on, man.

- TROY: Six for six.
I am the king of game night.

Salute your king, peasants.

Pay tribute to
your lord and master.

Show the Troy some lov--

- ALL: [laughing]

- I'm sure gonna
miss that guy.

- ♪