01x13 - Traitor Dater

[bunniefuu]

- Ace McFumbles here
with a special

Homecoming Week broadcast.

On Saturday, our Bulldogs play

their biggest game of the year
against crosstown rivals--

the Cobras!
[hissing]

Oh, yes, after last year's
crushing defeat,

our Bulldogs are eager to win
back the hometown crown.

And in social news,
the school is a-hum with mums--

the Texas tradition of mum
corsages, that is.

Remember, if someone
gives you one of these,

you've got yourself a date
to the Homecoming Dance.

- [glass shattering]

- Last, but not least,
Homecoming Court nominees

were just posted to the main
bulletin board.

Let's go to Chauncy, our man on
the scene with the results.

- I've gotta say...[chuckling]
the mood is electric.

- STUDENTS: [screaming]

- PEPPER: I'm afraid to look.

- It's safe!
- We're all up there!

- PEPPER, BELLA, SOPHIE:
[screaming]

- Oh, my gosh!
- Yay!

- This is so cool!

Now we'll all be in the yearbook
picture together.

- Picture? Oh, no.
- What?

- My zit nemesis is coming back.

- You mean your nemezit?

- Yes, the zit that wants
to ruin my life.

It always shows up
at the worst time.

- It's nothing.

- Yeah, nothing at all.

- Pepper, you're lying.
You always blink when you lie.

- [gasping]
I would never!

- I'm out.

I've gotta stick my face
in some zit cream.

- It's all happening--the three
of us on Homecoming Court.

[gasping]
And there's a dance.

- I know.
I wish I had a date.

But I haven't had a spark
with anyone since Kyle.

It's probably for the best.

I have to focus on
the Homecoming game.

- Okay, don't tell anyone,

but I've kinda had
a spark with someone.

I'm hoping he'll give me a mum.
- Seriously? Who?

- Oh, I'm dying to tell you.
Okay, it's--

No, I can't.
I don't want to jinx it.

- I totally understand.

This is so exciting!
- PEPPER: [squealing]

- Ladies, relax.
I've worn this shirt before.

- This is not about you, Troy.
This is about Homecoming.

- Bella, Sophie and I got
elected to Homecoming Court

and we're girling out hard.

- Bella, I'm so
disappointed in you.

You should be focused
on the game,

not some outdated
popularity contest.

- Troy, you got nominated
for Homecoming King.

- What? Yes!
All right! I'm King!

All hail King Troy! I did it!
Did you hear? I'm King!

- Should we tell him
he hasn't won yet?

- Let's let him have this.

- ♪ Dreamlike, teamlike

♪ Livin' like
one of the boys ♪

- This is the second time
you kids have come in

for free sundaes this week.

- Well, yeah, 'cause it
says it right here--

"Free sundaes for athletes
wearing game jerseys

during Homecoming Week."

- Yeah, but that doesn't mean
unlimited sundaes--

- Oh, should I call
my legal representative?

Hello? Hey.

- No. I just settled
a lawsuit.

Some kid got his tongue
stuck on the soft-serve nozzle.

Now I have to give him free
ice cream for life.

- Thanks, Daddy.
- Faker!

Here you go.

- The only thing that tastes
better than free ice cream

will be the sweet taste of
victory after Saturday's game.

- BULLDOGS: Hoo-rah!

- That's what I'm
talking about.

We're gonna crush those Cobras.
- [door opening]

- TROY: [clearing throat]

- Oh, don't look now,
but the Cobras just walked in.

- Where?
- I said don't look.

- Right there.

- NEWT: Grrrr...

♪ ...eetings football foes

- Ha. Ha. Look,
it's the Bulldogs.

- Can you believe these
guys have the guts

to show their faces in here
after last year's game?

- Oh, yeah? Well, uh,
these faces are gonna be

in your nightmares after
we destroy you on Saturday.

- Ha. Keep dreaming. We're goin'
all the way this year.

We even ordered
our championship jackets.

- BOTH: Oh!

- Well, that's fine because, ha,
we don't even wear jackets.

- You're wearing
a jacket right now.

- Uh, no, no, this is...
this is a coat.

I bought it, actually--
- What he meant was...

we're gonna kick
your butts so hard,

your grandkids will feel it.

- BULLDOGS: Oh...

- Yeah, you Cobras are
going to be crushed.

We're gonna skin
you snakes alive

'cause mama needs
a new pair of boots!

- SAWYER: Oh, yeah.
- BELLA: Mm-hm.

- Whatever.
- That's what I thought.

- Hey, you sure know
how to smack talk.

- It's a gift.
- I'll say.

You really put them
in their place.

- Yeah, well, they deserved it.

You mess with my team,
you answer to me.

- I like a girl with attitude.
I'm Zach.

- I'm Bella.
- Yeah, I know who you are.

I saw you play against
the Bears.

You can really sling it.

- I've heard that
said about me.

- We should hang out sometime.
- Yes, we should.

- Uh, how about Saturday night?
- That's cool.

Oh, wait, Saturday's
our Homecoming Dance.

- I mean, if you don't have
a date, I could go with you.

I don't have a mum, but--
- Then you better go get one.

That means "Yes," by the way.
[laughing]

- Oh, cool.
All right, then, it's a date.

See you then.
- Okay.

- What did you say to him?
- Oh, my gosh, you guys, I--

- Did you serve Zach Barnes
or did you soft serve him?

- That was Zach Barnes
as in Cobra Captain

and star linebacker Zach Barnes?
- The very same.

You'll be seeing a lot of old
Barnesy come Saturday night.

You know--when he's
tackling you.

- I didn't know it was him.

I guess I've never seen
him without a helmet.

And he isn't even
wearing a jersey.

- What a fool. Now he'll have
to pay for his ice cream.

- Yeah, what a fool.
[laughing]

- Yeah, that's what
I just said.

- [gasping]
Hey, you guys.

Something kind of crazy happened
and I need your advice

now that you're here. Is that
toothpaste on your cheek?

- Yep, I heard it works on zits.

- Well, if it doesn't,
nemezit will have fresh breath.

- You were saying?

- A guy asked me to the dance.
His name is Zach.

He's tall and cute
and he likes my smack talk.

Did I mention he's really cute?
- That's awesome!

- That's cool!

- But he's a Cobra.

- PEPPER & SOPHIE:
Wha-a-a-at?

- It's his one flaw,
his one tiny, little...

huge flaw.

- Bella, you can't
date the enemy.

- But, you guys...

there was a spark.

- Yeah, a spark that will burn
down the whole school.

- Ooh, this is so romantic.

You're gonna be involved
in a tragic love fire.

- So you think it's
a good idea.

- Well...no.

- It's a terrible idea.

And I think the whole school
would agree with us.

Plus, what if
the team finds out?

- Yeah, you're right.
What was I thinking?

I've gotta go.
- Is that a mum for Sophie?

- It is. My stepmom Brenda
helped me pick it out.

She's really good at buying
showing things

with my father's money.

At least, that's what
my mother says.

- It must be fancy.
- Yeah.

It's got lots of
bells and whistles--literally.

Plus, it's got lights

and a little stuffed dog
that barks to music.

Just enough without
going overboard.

- There are a few things in this
world that just ain't natural--

cheese from a can
and a mum from a store.

That's why my mum is growing
in my garden as we speak.

I'm waiting till tomorrow to
cut it so it's fresh,

and it'll be mixed with
daisies--her favorite flower.

- Wait, Sawyer, did you just say
you're giving someone a mum?

- Yes. Yes, I am.
[chuckling]

- Well, aren't you full
of surprises, buster.

Who's the lucky lady?

- Let's just say that's
a surprise, too.

- [sighing]
That cowboy is a man of mystery.

Oh, hey, Sophie.

So, I know we discussed
this verbally

and via text and email
and you said "No."

But I was thinking, if you saw
it in person you might say--

- No.

- Okay, clearly I was mistaken.

Catch ya later, Soph.

Hey, Pepper.
- Hey.

- Everything okay?

- Not really.

I was hoping a certain someone
was going to give me a mum.

But it looks like
it's not going to happen.

[sighing]

- Yes, it is.
Full disclosure.

I bought this with
Sophie in mind,

but she wasn't accepting
gifts at the moment.

Pepper, my good pal,
will you accept my mum

and go to the dance with me?

- Sure, Newt.
I'd be happy to.

- Oh, by the way,
if you get hungry,

it's got edible petals.
[nibbling]

- Oh, hey.

- Oh, hey, I got your text.
What's up?

- I wanted to talk to
you about Saturday.

I think you're really cool,
but I don't think we can go out.

- Why not?

- Because you're the enemy
and I don't want to

burn down the school
in a tragic love fire.

I mean...

I'm a Bulldog
and you're a Cobra.

We're at w*r.
We can't do this.

- Look, I knew who you were
when I asked you out,

and I didn't care,
so why should you?

- Because it's more
complicated for me.

- Because of the love fire?

- No. Because I'm the only
girl on the team

and the guys would
not understand.

- Well, just don't tell them
until after the game.

- Yeah, but what if--

I mean, I could, but--

They might--

You know what?
That could work.

- Okay, then. Problem solved.

- Okay, I've gotta
go before they--

Oh, no you didn't!

- What are you doing?

- They're here--behind you.

- Oh, yes, I did!

- See you on Saturday.

And bring your big boy pants!

- Hey, way to put that Cobra
in his place, Bella.

- Yeah, I came for
the ice cream,

but had to dish out
some smack talk first.

- But you didn't
bring your jersey.

- Oops, I'd better go get it.

Hi, Coach. Bye, Coach.

- Hey, guys.

Just, uh, checkin' to see

if you guys are stayin'
out of trouble.

Uh, since I'm here,
I'll have the free special.

- Sorry. Gotta see
a jersey, pal.

- COACH: [chuckling]

- Is that Newt's jersey?

- Mind your business.

- ♪

- Hey, Sophie,
how's the zit sitch?

- Twice as bad.

Nemezit had a baby and it
is not the cute kind!

Do you have any concealer
I can borrow?

- Totally. I've got
some in my locker.

- SAWYER: [to self]
You can do this.

She'll say "Yes."
You can do it.

[sighing]

- Wow, that's a beautiful
mum, Sawyer.

- Yeah, well, it's trash now.

- Whoa, what happened
with the special lady?

- She got a mum
from another man.

- [sighing]
Poor guy.

It's no reason to take
it out on the flowers.

They have feelings, too.

- Great practice today,
Bulldogs.

You guys have been
going hard all week.

- Looks like you've been
going hard, too, Coach.

On the sundaes.

- BULLDOGS: [laughing]

- You guys laugh.

But it fills the void.

- Uh, anyway,
you should have seen

Bella trash talking the Cobras.

She had Zach Barnes blushing
like a little girl.

- What'd you say to him?

- I don't think
I should repeat it.

It was super offensive.

- Go ahead, offend us.

- Yeah, go on.
Do your thing.

- Oh, all right.

Uh, so I went up to Zach
and I was like...

"You Cobras are the worst."
- Oh!

- And he was like...

"You Bulldogs are even worser."

And I was like..."Pssssh."

And there was some more back
and forth, etcetera, etcetera,

bold trash talk!

- That's, uh...

- You had to be there.

- Yoo-hoo!
[laughing]

You boys decent?
- Yeah, come on in.

- They delivered this
to the office for Bella.

I peeked. It's a mum.
[laughing]

- Oooh.

- At least someone has
a date to the dance.

- Bella has a new guy.
- Guys, you know what?

I think I'll just open this
in my locker--privately.

Troy, don't!
- Let's see.

"A mum with attitude
for a girl with attitude."

- Oooh.
- Whoa.

- "I can't wait for
the dance--Zach Barnes"?

- So, about my date...

- Coach, there has to be
some rule against this.

Isn't there a penalty
for, you know, traitor dating?

- Yeah, I don't know.

I've never had a player date
an opponent before.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I've gotta...

I, uh, have to...

I've just gotta
get outta here.

- Guys, this is not a big deal.

Zach and I are just two people
from opposite sides who met,

smack talked and liked each
other--like Romeo and Juliet.

- Oh, yeah, 'cause
that ended well.

- Newt, you're with
me, aren't you?

- Don't look at me,
traitor dater.

- Don't you see what's
going on here?

He's trying to distract you

before the biggest
game of the season.

- Yeah, I mean,
it's a great strategy.

If the Cobras had a girl QB,
I'd do the same.

Probably break her heart,
poor thing.

Be journalin' for days.

- I would never let a guy
throw me off my game.

I'm gonna defeat him
and then I'm gonna date him.

I'm gonna do it all--
like Beyoncé!

- We are so dead on Saturday.

- [corsage bells jingling]

- [laughing] It sounds
like Santa Claus is coming.

Or a bell factory exploded.

- I know. This one is crazy.

And crazy heavy.

Why are you holding your cheek?

- Nemezit has gone
full on zitzilla.

Everybody's gonna laugh at me
when I'm standing on the field

with the rest of
Homecoming Court.

- Oh, please, no one's
going to notice.

- I know you're lying
because you're blinking.

- No, I'm just trying
not to look at it.

- [corsage bells jingling]

- Hey, you-u-u--
- Don't say anything.

- The mum looks great, Pepper.
Brenda will be proud.

- I hope you don't mind.
I added some daisies.

They're my favorite flower.
- Well, of course, I--

[gasping]

- And they'll be mixed with
daisies--her favorite flower.

- Whoa, what happened
with the special lady?

- She got a mum
from another man.

- Oh, no, I'm the other man.

What have I done?

- ♪

- ACE: It's game time, folks!

And, no, you're not
seeing double.

It's Silverado East
versus Silverado West--

the biggest rivalry of the year.

If we lose to the Cobras,

we'll never be able to show
our faces in town again.

I have complete faith
in our team,

but, just in case...

[muffled]
Go, Bulldogs.

- [whistle shrills]

- Well, if it isn't
Little Miss Quarterback.

- It's okay. He knows.

- Oh, cool.
So did ya get my mum?

- Yes, it's beautiful.
- [fake gagging]

- Heads or tails?
- Heads.

- Heads has it.
- We'll receive.

In yo face, Barnes.
- Bring it, Dawson.

- You look really good
tonight, by the way.

- You do, too.
- Again... [fake gagging]

- SPECTATORS: [cheering]

- [whistle shrills]

- Set! Hike!

- [whistle shrills]
- Oooh!

A massive hit on Bella Dawson
by Cobra superstar Zach Barnes.

- ♪

- ACE: What's this?
Barnes is helping Dawson up.

Is this just good sportsmanship

or a PG-13 romance starring
Shailene Woodley?

- BELLA: Set! Hut!

- ACE: Dawson avoids what
was sure to be

a brutal attack by her
Homecoming date, Zach Barnes.

Barnes is down.
Dawson to the rescue.

Uh-oh, guess he didn't
need a hand.

- SPECTATORS: [cheering]

- BELLA: Ten! Hut!

- ACE: Youch! Another magic
tackle by Zach Barnes.

He is not playing nice.

And, apparently,
he's forgotten his manners.

I hope he's more of a gentleman
tonight at the dance.

Folks, the Bulldogs
are down by 4

with only 10 seconds
on the clock.

But we have the ball.

Can Bella Dawson
get past Zach Barnes

and his tough Cobra defense?
- I can't watch.

- BELLA: Ten! Louis the 8th!

Louis the 8th! Hut!

- ♪

- [heavy thud]

- [whistle shrills]

- ACE: Touchdown, Bella Dawson!

- SPECTATORS: [cheering]
- The Bulldogs win!

We won! Yeah!

- ♪

- Hey, Bella, I was wrong.
You can do it all.

All psyched for your big date?

- Totally.
Are you going with anyone?

- Please. I make it a point
to go solo to all dances.

That way, every girl gets
a chance to dance with The Troy.

And if I'm King, every girl
gets a signed picture--

in their gift basket.

- Okay...

Hey, good game.

You guys put up a great fight.
- Yeah, you, too.

- So, uh, I know I put
the mum on a little early,

but it was too pretty
to leave in the box.

[laughing]

So, I'll see you at the dance?

- Uh, yeah, about that...

I'm not really in the mood
to go to a dance right now.

- [laughing]

Are you serious?

Because we won?

I thought you said being
rivals didn't matter.

- Yeah, well,
I guess it does.

Sorry, Bella.

- Sawyer, wait up.
This way.

- Huh? Where are we going?

Hey, I thought
I threw that out.

- It was a misunderstanding.
Just come with me.

Hey, Pepper, I hope
you don't mind,

but I need to take
my mum back.

- Wait, that was your mu--
- Zip!

- What's going on?

- Sawyer needs to talk to you.

- Why would Sawyer--
- Zip!

- Oh, daisies.
I love daisies.

- I know. I made
this for you.

Pepper, will you go
to the dance with me?

- Sawyer, I would love to.

- Wha-a-a-at?

- Yeah, that just happened.

- Aw...

Newt, did you do that?

- Well, uh...

- That's pretty cool.

So, do you wanna
to go the dance?

- Together?
- [corsage bells jingling]

- Let's keep it casual.

- I love casual!
[laughing]

- Whoa!

That is some mum.
- It sure is.

Check it out.

- ♪ Da da da da da da da
- [toy dog barking]

- SOPHIE: [laughing]

No one will notice zitzilla
because of monster mum.

I may have to wear
this all week.

Newt, you're a genius!

- Well, Brenda deserves
some of the credit, too.

- Hey, Bella, you okay?

- Guess I was wrong
about Zach.

- Yeah, well, I warned
you about dating a Cobra.

- It's not that.

I'd get it if Zach couldn't
handle dating the enemy,

but what really hurts
is he couldn't handle

dating a girl who's
better than him.

- Yeah, well, you'd
better get used to it.

You're pretty much
better than everybody.

- Great! That means
I'll be alone forever!

- No, it means you're awesome.
You kick butt.

And one day you're
gonna find somebody

who appreciates
that about you.

- Wow. Thanks, Troy.

Looks like I'm going
solo to the dance.

Oh, well...

- Hey, how about
you go with me?

- What about all your ladies?
Won't they be disappointed?

- [sighing]
Yeah, they will.

But, you know, I'll save
a ton on gift baskets.

- BELLA: [laughing]

- And now, the moment we've
all been waiting for.

- Oh, that's us.
- Let's go.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm proud to announce

Silverado's new Homecoming
King and Queen--

Troy Dixon and Bella Dawson!

- SPECTATORS: [cheering,
applauding]

- Yes, I did it!
Congratulations to me.

Oh, yeah. You, too, Bella.

- Thanks, Troy.

Nice crown.

- Yeah, I was hoping
it would be bigger.

Shall we go to the dance,
Your Highness?

- We shall, Your Majesty.
Let's hang.

- Okay, but I'm keeping
it casual.

- One more minute until
I can wake up

from this free
ice cream nightmare.

- Bulldogs in the house!

- Hey, hey, the promotion
is almost over,

and by the time you go home
and get your jerseys,

it'll be too late.

- Oh, well, then it's a good
thing we brought 'em.

- Great.

- I'll have two sundaes--
one for me and one for my date.

- Friend!
- Friend-date with Sophie.

- [machine whirring]

- Um, Bernie?

- Get outta here, kid.

- I'm stuck on here, Daddy.

- ♪