01x03 - New World - The Once and Future King

[bunniefuu]

[pulsing music playing]

[intense music playing]

[thunder crashes]

[soldiers grunting in rhythm]

Onward, men, through hell.

Conquest await...

[gasping]

[dramatic music playing]

♪ ♪

- [coughing]
- [seabirds screeching]

[mysterious music playing]

The island of legend.

This will make a fine addition
to my kingdom.

But... [scoffs]

I fear your army perished
in the storm, sire.

Scaevola, you silly wh*re's whelp.

An army does not make a king.

A king makes an army.

In fact... you there, boy!

I, King Aelstrom, come to
conquer this land and its people.

- [speaking ancient language] Just... you and the one-armed guy?
- [Aelstrom] What is this gibberish?

Uh, uh, let me try. [clears throat]

[speaking ancient language] I herald the
arrival of King Aelstrom of the North Lands.

He has chosen you as his first subject.

Prepare to receive his blessing!

[yells]

- [shouts]
- [Aelstrom] Insolent dog.

Sire!

[groans]

You will pay for that,
pathetic beach wench.

[groaning]

[gasping]

Yet... Aelstrom lives.

I always said
that I was destined to rule forever,

but I never dared dream
that I was speaking literally.

[chuckles] Even death itself
is humbled before my radiant majesty.

[gasps] Sire.

I seem to be immortal, too.

Well, uh, you must be protected
by the corona of my magnificence.

[Urda speaking ancient language] You
loons.

This is Aeternum.

Nobody dies, nobody leaves.

What's that witch saying, Scaevola?

She says this island is called Aeternum.

Everyone is immortal here.

Gods.

Well, then I shall rule
an eternal kingdom of eternal subjects,

eternally kneeling before me
in grateful servitude.

[chuckles]

Onward, Scaevola.

Conquest awaits.

[Scaevola straining]

All rise to receive
your new king and ruler,

Aelstrom of the Northern Shores.

[King Zimah] Huh. I'm sorry.

- Who are you?
- [Aelstrom laughs]

Very amusing.

For who does not know
the name of Aelstrom?

I have come to give this Aeternum
the benefit of my just rule.

I challenge you to a duel.

To the victor, the crown.

- [gulps]
- [Aelstrom chuckles]

You look like you're sucking
on a lemon, Scaevola.

I only fear the fool
who would dare face you, sire.

No, no, forget the chest plate.

Let them admire their new king.

- [dramatic music playing]
- [onlookers cheering]

[screaming]

[grunts]

[gasps]

Yet...

Aelstrom lives.

Thank the gods that I'm whole again.

I feared for an instant
that I might be left half a man.

What a blessing
that I was not d*sfigured and crippled

before we arrived in Aeternum.

Like you were, Scaevola.

Yep, the gods are merciful.

[laughs]

You will spend eternity a one-armed man.

[both laugh]

Scaevola, who wipes his a*s
and eats his mush with the same hand.

Yeah. [laughs]

Oh, mercy.

[laughing]

They cannot k*ll my spirit,
and now... they cannot k*ll me.

Onward, Scaevola.

Conquest awaits.

- [creaking]
- [Scaevola straining]

That crown belongs to Aelstrom,

you silky-bearded Babylonian cur.

- [sighs]
- [lighthearted music playing]

But in combat, the fortunate prevail
as often as the skilled.

Let us have instead a test of strategy.

To the victor, the crown.

[King Zimah] Checkmate.

Damn it.

[grunting]

[groans]

[shouting]

- [Aelstrom screams]
- He was, uh, born royalty, wasn't he?

His father was king.

- And his father's father before him.
- [grunting]

- His father's father's father...
- [yelps]

Yeah, got it.

Your king is not of royal blood?

[grunts]

- [Zimah's aide] Son of a cobbler.
- [yells]

And yet... Aelstrom lives.

How can this be?

I mean, ever since I was a child,
every competition, duel after duel,

Aelstrom is victorious.

I'm a peerless swordsman,
horseman, chess man, wrestle man.

- Wherever men contend.
- [Scaevola] Sire?

I may have the answer.

Yes.

It must be dark magic.

No, sire, the truth is
the duels you fought in the old country,

they weren't real.

Are you saying I dreamed them, Scaevola?

No. Those people let you win.

And why would they do such a thing?

Because you were king
and they were servants.

- [groans]
- My liege,

as your subject,
as one who would be your friend,

you're pretty bad at doing things.

[dramatic music playing]

sl*ve, dog, bow before your king.

Never again pollute Aelstrom's sight
with your craven existence.

[yelps, grunts]

[panting]

- [pensive music playing]
- [groans]

He speaks of himself
in the third person.

I have lost my king.

What am I supposed to do now?

- [rumbling]
- [suspenseful music playing]

[sorcerer] What do you seek?

Dominion and the power to seize it.

[Aelstrom laughs]

Dominion is mine.

- All shall kneel... Aah!
- [creature snarling]

My pancreas!

[tense, dramatic music playing]

And yet...

Aelstrom lives.

[sorcerer] What do you seek?

[Aelstrom] Dominion is mine.

- [creature snarling]
- It's the liver!

- [sorcerer] What do you seek?
- Dominion. Remember?

- [creature snarling]
- [gasps]

[Aelstrom] I'll teach you.

- Wait, wait, wait. Not the face.
- [snarling]

[dramatic choral music playing]

- [laughs, yells]
- [whooshing]

Just rearrange things a little bit

so that your army is more
in this region here.

[Aelstrom] I have given years,

my heart, my very soul

for power beyond the dreams
of any but an immortal king.

That crown belongs to Aelstrom!

[expl*sive whooshing]

[soft whistling]

Aelstrom.

- [growls viciously]
- [King Zimah] It's been a while.

[grunting angrily]

[dramatic music playing]

I'm...

...bored with k*lling you.

[somber music playing]

[groans softly]

Scaevola.

You would still offer me your hand
after all I have done?

That's what this island is.

An eternity of second chances.

Scaevola.

[grunts, laughs] I got it!

- [laughing]
- [lighthearted music playing]

I finally got it!

[Aelstrom continues laughing]

[seabirds screeching]

[pensive music playing]

[sighs]

Scaevola?

[speaking ancient language] I need...
you... help.

No kidding.

You teach me... to make... forge?

You? It'll take a while.

I have time.

- [dramatic, hopeful music playing]
- [hammering]

[gentle music playing]

[Aelstrom] Scaevola.

Forged from the crown of a king.

For you, Aelstrom's friend.

I mean... my friend.

[uplifting music playing]

[grunts]

[gentle music playing]

[hopeful music playing]

♪ ♪

[dramatic music playing]

♪ ♪