02x03 - Power Play

[bunniefuu]

[happy music]

- You know with all the fuss you're going through

I'm surprised you didn't buy yourself a new dress.

- I did.

[laughing]

- Helen, you're k*lling me.

- Don't you understand Stanley?

Tonight has to be exactly right.

The food, the wine, the atmosphere.

If I'm lucky and everything is perfect,

this could be the worst evening of Ethel's life.

[laughing]

- I don't know what to do next.

- Oh, there's a lot of moves you could make.

You could take that piece right there.

- Oh, yeah.

[laughing]

You took all my checkers that's not fair.

- Well, you shouldn't have made that move.

- But you told me to make it.

- Well, rule number one, never trust your opponent.

- Even though he's your father?

- Especially when he's your father.

Now go get ready to go to aunt Eleanor's.

- Do I have to?

- Of course you do.

Your aunt's very old.

You know how she looks forward to your visits.

- That's because she beats me at checkers too.

- Your aunt is a wonderful woman.

- Who just happens to own a very large house

in Beverly Hills.

- That has nothing to do with our visiting her.

- Nothing?

- Well, it's true that someday someone in her family

might inherit that house.

- And you're her favorite nephew.

- I know.

That narrows it down to me and her 12 cats.

[laughing]

- Now all I have to do is let this bake for two hours.

- You seen a corkscrew any place?

- Not now Stanley.

That's a special wine for tonight.

- What's so--

$4.98?

[laughing]

- Couldn't you find anything cheaper?

[laughing]

- There's a one there.

- Oh, $1.98.

That's not so bad.

- There's a one next to the four.

- $14.98?

[laughing]

- Jack says it's the perfect wine.

It goes with fish and poultry and--

- And bankruptcy.

- Imagine having to wear this ridiculous tie.

[laughing]

- Well it's your aunt's favorite.

- I know, I know.

I hope those cats don't decide to

butter up to her this afternoon.

It's impossible competing with Mr. Whiskers.

- Jeffrey they're only cats.

- I know, I know.

That's the point.

What does she see in them that she doesn't see in me?

- Maybe you don't purr when your stomach is rubbed.

[laughing]

- Try me.

[purring]

- We'll be late.

- It doesn't matter.

- Oh, did you wash behind your ears?

- Oh yes.

[laughing]

- Does aunt Eleanor check behind your ears too?

[door bell ringing]

- Hey, you forgot to brush your hair.

- Oh, I'm sorry to bother you but I was just wondering if--

oh what an attractive tie.

[laughing]

- It's all cats.

- Jeffrey's aunt Eleanor gave it to him for Christmas.

- Oh!

- Is there something you wanted?

- Oh Anne I was wondering do you have a serving platter

that I could borrow?

- Of course.

- And a butter knife.

Stanley used ours to clean his spark plugs.

- Oh sure.

[laughing]

- And maybe some potholders.

He used those to lift out his carburetor.

- Well why don't you just borrow our kitchen

he could make that into a garage?

- I brushed my hair.

- Good, good.

Come on Anne let's be going.

- We're on our way to Jeffrey's aunt Eleanor's.

Everything you need is in the cabinet above the sink.

And here's my key in case you need anything else.

- Oh, thanks Anne.

- Oh, those cats.

I just know I'm going to wind up getting fur ba*ls.

[laughing]

[knocking on door]

- Stanley?

- Don?

Don Webster.

Come on in.

- Hi, how are you?

- I haven't seen you since the bowling tournament.

- Boy you sure were throwing them wild that night,

weren't ya?

Did you ever find your ball?

[laughing]

- Cut that out.

Hey, how about a beer?

- No, no, no thanks.

- Come on.

One little beer is not gonna hurt ya.

- Well okay, just one.

- Now you're talking.

Still with the gas company?

- The power.

- Ah, same thing.

They both keep raising our bills.

- Yeah, well I guess there's nothing much we can do

about it except to pay them, huh?

- Yeah, that's true.

It's true.

Hey, it's really good to see ya Don.

- Yeah. Thanks.

- This isn't exactly a social visit Stanley.

- Ah.

Well bottoms up.

- Cheers.

I'm here to turn off your power.

[laughing]

- I see you got meters in the back.

- Wait, wait Don.

You can't turn off my electricity.

Don?

- Stanley you've already had two warnings.

- Yeah, but I never opened them so they don't count, right?

- They count to the power company.

- Listen, what about if I write you out a check?

- I am not authorized to accept payment.

Now that oughta do it.

- Don, listen. Can't we talk this over?

- I'd like to, but I got to run Stanley.

- Listen, you can't shut off my electricity.

My wife's sister's coming over for dinner.

Now the refrigerator won't work.

The lights won't work.

We'll be eating in a dark.

- No, you won't.

- Oh, good.

- Your stove won't work either.

[laughing]

[clapping]

- He really shut it off.

- Stanley?

- Helen.

- Stanley?

Oh, hey.

Anne loaned me her serving platter for tonight.

And also she gave me her key in case

I need to borrow anything else.

- No, no. I don't want you going in the kitchen.

- Don't be silly.

I got work to do.

- No, no, no.

You've done enough work today.

Why don't you take a nap?

- I don't have time Stanley.

I'm making a dinner.

- Dinner will be all light, I mean all right.

Listen, you said that dinner was prepared anyway,

didn't you?

So why don't you go up and take a nap?

Don't you want to be nice and fresh tonight?

- Yeah, well I am kind of tired.

- You look it.

- What?

- I mean don't you want to look better than Ethel tonight?

- Oh yeah.

Oh, hey.

Okay, but be sure to wake me in one hour.

- Sweet dreams, sweetheart.

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

- Damn.

[laughing]

[grunting]

[laughing]

- No.

Everything's melting.

Come on Stanley now, calm down.

[laughing]

- The Brooks kitchen.

[laughing]

[laughing]

- Stanley, why didn't you wake me up?

- I wanted you to have your beauty sleep.

- But I slept for more than an hour.

- It worked.

You look beautiful.

- Oh yeah. You really think so?

Why don't you turn on some more lights?

- No, no, no.

It's more romantic this way.

- Ahh.

Oh there's Ethel and Hubert now.

- Ethel.

- Helen.

- Your doorbell isn't working.

- Just like Stanley.

- Why don't you come in.

- Yeah, let me take your mouth.

I mean your coat.

[laughing]

- Watch your step.

- You seem to have lowered the lighting

since we were last here.

- Yes.

- How very wise.

- Well, make yourselves at home.

- Good, I'll pour myself a scotch on the rocks.

- I think I'll have a glass of wine Stanley.

Will you join me Ethel?

- Yes.

No.

I mean well what have you got this time?

- Oh Stanley why don't you open the good French wine?

- I certainly hope it's well chilled.

- So do I.

[laughing]

[laughing]

- So Ethel how are things?

- Well, I've been thinking it's about time

for another trip to the Mediterranean for me.

- And another trip to the bank for me.

- It's so nice not to have to worry about the expense.

- It must be.

[laughing]

- Here's the wine.

- Oh good.

I've got some wonderful hot hors d'oeuvres to go with it.

- I'll get them dear.

[laughing]

- You've been working hard enough.

I don't want you raising another finger.

She's my princess.

Take care of this will you Hubey oh boy?

Thank you very much.

[laughing]

- There seems to be a new side to Stanley.

[laughing]

- You know Stanley.

He always insist on treating me like a princess.

He's such a--

- Frog.

[laughing]

- I sure am looking forward to those hors d'oeuvres.

- Oh yeah.

You'll love them.

- I sure am looking forward to them.

- Yes.

Stanley?

Are you having any trouble?

Stanley?

- I couldn't find the potholders.

- I don't suppose that you have any Perrier water?

- Perrier water.

[laughing]

- Mmmm.

Interesting.

- Oh, it was nothing I made them from a magazine.

- I thought I recognize the taste.

[laughing]

- Here's your water.

- Oh Stanley, you could have given her a little

more than that.

- No, no, no that's just fine.

- Good.

But I could use some ice.

- Ice.

- I'll get it.

- No, I'll get it precious.

[laughing]

- Stanley looks a little um, tired.

You haven't been making too many demands on him lately,

have you Helen?

- Oh well, I uh--

- With Hubert I don't have to make demands.

- I know.

Just excuses.

[laughing]

- Cats.

[wheezing]

- You lie down on the couch and I'll get your allergy pills.

[wheezing]

- I hate cats.

Just wearing this tie makes me want to sneeze.

[laughing]

- David, you better get ready for bed.

- I beat aunt Eleanor at checkers.

- She's probably writing him out of the will right now.

[wheezing]

[door closing]

- What was that?

- Sounds like someone's in the kitchen.

- Be careful.

[laughing]

- Another hors d'oeuvres?

- No, thank you.

I'd prefer them edible.

[laughing]

[panting]

- Here's, here's your--

Here's your, here's your--

- Ice?

[laughing]

- Someone's cooking dinner in there.

- Maybe Helen took you seriously when you said

why don't you borrow our kitchen?

- Oh come on Anne.

People know when I'm joking.

- That's true.

You always tell them.

- I'm going to phone the Ropers right now and find out.

What is this?

[laughing]

- This cord leads into Ropers house.

- There's nothing I like better than

the Coliseum in the morning,

the Acropolis in the afternoon.

- Bull at night.

[laughing]

- Stanley and I hope to make a trip next year.

[laughing]

- I don't know about the rest of you but I'm starved.

- So am I.

- You know I could eat a horse.

[laughing]

- Jeffrey, what are you doing?

- Roper is stealing our electricity.

- Ah. Oh.

- Stanley, what's going on?

- Hold this will ya?

I'll fix it.

[screaming]

[laughing]

- Jeffrey, why don't you just go next door and talk to him?

- I do not talk to thieves.

- Do you have to yank on that right now?

- No, no of course not.

- Thank you very much.

- I'll just unplug it.

- No, no, no.

You can't do that.

- It's my socket.

- It's my plug.

- Ha.

- Ha ha!

- Ha ha ha!

[laughing]

- Hubert's so good to me.

Next year--

[laughing]

- Ah, next year when he goes to his meat packers convention,

[laughing]

- He's letting me go to Hong Kong.

- That'll pay them back for sending us the flu.

[laughing]

- I've always wanted to go to Greece.

- Helen, the lights are out.

- It's been my lifelong ambition to see Athens.

- Aren't you going to do anything about it?

- Well, I've tried, but Stanley says he doesn't

like long vacations.

- Don't you have any candles?

- But, but, Anne?

- Jeffrey it isn't going to hurt anything to let them

use our power till they get their own back.

- That could be years.

- Thanks.

- Thanks, I'll go get the dinner.

- Where are the candles?

Where's my dinner?

[laughing]

- Oh.

Stanley!

- Helen.

- Stanley.

- Ready to eat?

- Where is my dinner?

- Here it is.

- It's ruined.

- No it isn't.

- It's only half cooked.

- Well, let's give them the half that's cooked.

[laughing]

- Oh Stanley, I knew something was fishy.

First, the lights and now this.

And it's all your fault.

Your responsibility just feed them my food.

- All right you pay the bills from now on.

- What?

- Nevermind.

Let's just serve the dinner, huh?

- You didn't pay the electric bill?

- So I forgot to pay one lousy bill.

[laughing]

- Helen?

- I'm going to k*ll you.

Coming.

I tell you Stanley when I get you alone.

- I'll make it up to you Helen.

- How?

- I'll take us all out to dinner.

- Oh.

[laughing]

- Well, let's go.

- Go?

Go where?

- I'm taking you all to a fancy restaurant.

- Oh, that's very nice of you.

Which one?

- Well uh uh uh--

- Oh Stanley did you say something about She' Louie?

- She' Louie?

It cost 50 bucks just to go in their front door.

[laughing]

- Yeah, that's the one.

- I forgot to make a reservation.

- Well you just get on the phone right now.

[laughing]

- This phone is dead.

- Didn't you hear what happened?

An airplane crashed in this neighborhood into the walls

and knocked all the wires down.

It was terrible.

I just heard about it.

- You forgot to pay the telephone bill too?

That's all right.

Louie always keeps a table for us.

Let's go.

- Oh, just a minute.

I have to go to the little girl's room.

- No, no, no.

No Ethel.

- What?

- Can you hold it till we get to the restaurant?

[laughing]

- Oh, Stanley!

[clapping]

[happy music]