01x40 - Duke and the Great Pie w*r

[bunniefuu]

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while the fight

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this is a tale of a princess and a duke

and a mother-in-law who's related to the

princess who at the end of the story

becomes related to the duke

it's kind of complicated

it happened once

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his name is duke a stupid dresser and

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is

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squeeze petunia sweet her eyes are

sparkly and her hair is knees she was

named the princess of her senior prom

now she lives inside the presents with

the raging

technically i'm her mother-in-law it's

complicated

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you know my ears this has got to be the

sorriest lot of nights i have ever seen

you'll never be fit for battle

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keep your heads up

sleepless nights stay awake

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right now you're hopeless hopeless

indeed oh this be elevated what an honor

sire amen this is the old night school's

most illustrious graduate

allow me to show you how it is done

sleepless night

charge me and try to knock at me off my

feet

huh

all right

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all is fair in love and w*r

i don't think that's right

otis the elevated will be taken all

comers in the annual jousting tournament

if any of you up for the challenge which

i know you want

thank you novak

remember lads this is the training that

could save your life when facing a

rhubarbarian

watch out for yourself there's not a

nice one among them

soup's ready

it's water soup

again

with

water sauce

sweet sweet petunia you have been so

kind to me all six years and you to me

mother in law

yes i know

but you've been just like a mother to me

nona well if it isn't the rule

barbarians go back to your own kingdom

brew barbarian

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no no i don't really seem to fit in

since our arrival here in scone

we've become very poor and everyone is

rather mean to me here

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sweet sweet petunia could you get that

apple from me

of course

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it's that new surf music

lucas why are we taking this path back

home we don't have to check on my

orchards harvest was last week i told

you this morning sire nona has moved

back to town and she wanted you to stop

by nona my second cousin yeah twice

removed oh look there she is now wow

nobody sure has

changed sire nona is the short one oh

well then who's the tall kind one

and that would be petunia but sire i

advise you not to have anything to do

with her after all she is a rhubarbarian

oh pish-posh lucas the w*r is old news

oh how kind she is

white duke cuke what the surprise why

hello nona it's good to see you

bye way have i introduced you to sweet

sweet petunia she has been caring for me

since i returned oh duke duke

nona has told me so much about you

soup

well there's not much but we will gladly

share it with you why thank you

i'll get it

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i'm sorry

i'm such an oath let me make it up to

you what do you need my lady anything at

all oh nothing really sire

yes especially since we live in the tree

stuff with no food to speak up we don't

need anything nothing at all sire love

and w*r remember the w*r nonsense the

least i can do is let you gather

leftover apples from my orchards here

you can take whatever you like

oh why thank you

you really are too kind duke duke oh no

need for formality you can call me

duke

oh bye duke duke i mean

duke

bye-bye bye sweet sweet petunia

uh sire you are getting rather friendly

with that foreign girl you know how the

citizens of scone are toward anyone

being friendly to a rue barbarian ah

lucas you're overreacting

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no no that's nonsense

i'm sure that was just an accident no it

wasn't

how many rue barbarians does it take to

change a lightbulb i don't know how many

rhubarb

uh what's a light bulb i don't know but

if i did i'm sure it would not change my

negative opinion of rhubarbarians

i better go

things will only get worse for you if

you're seen with me

no no things will be fine i'll be good

oh oh are you okay yeah

you dropped your hat you know me oh here

you go oh i get it oh are you okay yeah

yeah i'm okay

oh goodbye

oh

missed the door

bye i got my hat now

she is somewhat clumsy for a princess no

what petunia is a princess but it goes

excuse me nona i don't mean to pry but

if petunia is a princess

why are you two so poor

it's complicated i'll explain later um

it kinda is later we

let's go to the book page

it all started before the great pie w*r

as you know i once had a husband the

brave and noble guilders leave the

invincible and we had a son

ryan the only slightly less invincible

oh

did i mention that my son ryan loper

citizen of scone married sweet sweet

petunia the princess of rhubarb

petunia's married no hold on to your

horses there's more you see when our son

married the barbarian princess we all

went to live in rhubarb

but before we left guild asleep provided

for his brother by giving him half of

the golden crest it was the key to his

castle half why don't you just come out

and say you don't trust me all right i

don't trust you

the other half was the key to the great

vault this

he kept

for me

then things got bad

the armies of rhubarb went to w*r

against the kingdom of scone the great

pie w*r has begun

as you know gildersleeve and ryan were

neither invincible

nor slightly less invincible

wow i never knew

but why didn't you stay in the kingdom

of rhubarb if petunia was a princess

paige

the tonya's family welcomed her but not

me

to them i was the enemy

but petunia was so compassionate to me

she sacrificed living as a princess to

come and take care of me

wow you're right how's that this is

complicated

so

you're forced to live in a tree stump

because the gildersleeve's brother he

only looks out for himself i'm so sorry

i wish there was something i could do to

help you get the other half of that

crest

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sorry nona i'll get dinner right away

how's apple fricassey

fine dear but best i have something for

you

i want you to have this

you need it more than i do

but nona

the key to the vault oh this is too

great a treasure

i can never repeat me well i think duke

will help you with that

duke

what does duke have to do with anything

you just give it to him and ask him to

joust for you in the tournament give it

to duke

trust me dear

oh oh petunia i didn't see you there

tell him

you think he's nice

i

nice oh

you sure are

you're really nice you're one of the

nicest people i know tell him oh uh yeah

duke uh

i think you're nice too

you do well i uh

what's this

i want you to joust for me at the

tournament to win the other half of the

crest from gildersleeve's brother

what the family mention the family if

if gildersleeve's brother won't look out

for family you must

me

for you

you're not a second cousin twice removed

duke i know this is a lot to ask

but i want him

uh

i need you to joust for me

well then

yes yes

yes of course i'll just for you i'd do

anything for you petunia even if i had

to joust oh it's the elevated by the way

who is gildersleeve's brother anyway

notice the elevated

otis i've come to challenge you to a

joust

[Laughter]

huh

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a joust winner gets both halves of the

duck

wolf house huh

if you won't take care of family

i will you think i got where i am by

looking out for others looking out for

others is for saps

no looking out for others is true love

i've seen you train you're on

ladies lords and peasants we are

gathered to witness a contest between

otis the elevated and

[Applause]

duke

duke

the winner gets the golden crest to k*ll

the sneeze castle with all the treasure

that lies within and if they act now

we'll include this lovely set of ginsu

knives

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the contest shall consist of three tests

worthy of a night first the implausibly

arduous obstacle course

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by right of elevation otis the elevator

shall go first

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so

23 seconds

a new personal best

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next up the rue barbarian lovin duke

duke

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wow

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wait he's up

no wait he's up look

he's gonna make it this time

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[Applause]

wow

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67 seconds

it's not looking too good for duke

and now the hurling catapults of slime

to see who's the smartest the enemy of

costello

will ask a riddle the first to solve it

sends his opponent into a bucket of

slime

there are three members of the royal

family with strange names sir who prince

what and maybe i don't know they want to

board a ferry to cross a treacherous

river taking into account their rank

what would be the reverse order in which

they should board the ferry wait you

want to know who's on first

correct next what

absolutely correct and third i don't

know

correct

wait who went third

wrong

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there will be a third contest the joust

with the

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a head-to-head competition to prove who

is the

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you best going to lose everything

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sire no one would blame you if you

backed out now

after all she is a rew barbarian go back

to your own kingdom brew barbarian

think about it are you really willing to

take a pie for petunia

lucas

she has no family to look out for her i

have to think of her first

petunia for family

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that was close folks

you are lucky duke but watch out for

yourself this time no otis i'm looking

out for someone else first that's true

love that's crazy

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i care

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wow

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[Applause]

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oh

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what are you looking at

we'll be family now petunia and i'll

take care of you forever

family

forever

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i now pronounce you duke and duchess

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you may now join the halves of the duck

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is that real gold

oh excuse me no i'll get it no no allow

me oh excuse me

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[Applause]

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is

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