Come on! Throw it.
Brother Vicky,
today is Sister Vidya's engagement.
Are you serious?
Yes. When will it be my turn?
Let my turn come first.
Go work on your speech.
Practice saying "S" to "F."
"F"!
Vicky, you're back.
No, this is my ghost.
It's not funny.
You've been gone for three days.
- Take the bag.
- Okay!
Keep the food ready.
I'll be there soon.
- Brother! Is the phone going to work?
- Sir, I am...
- trying a new wire.
- If there's no water...
- Uncle Babi.
- Who is it?
Greetings.
The food counter hasn't opened yet.
Come back after nine. Now leave.
I am not here for the food.
Aunt called me for henna art.
You guys don't just eat
but also pack for home.
The cost is 70 rupees per plate.
Do you know how expensive it is nowadays?
What's wrong, Aunt?
Why are you crying?
God bless.
What's wrong?
Did you run out of tobacco again?
It's not the tobacco, it's your aunt
from Jhansi who has passed away.
Who? Show me.
Ramkali?
But she passed away last year.
- Is it the same one?
- Yes.
Unbelievable.
You guys are running a year late.
Well, mister,
the process takes time.
You're always early
when it's time for a bonus at festivals.
"Where's my bonus?"
What are you doing, ma'am?
- Spitting tobacco on me.
- Get lost.
Thank God Aunt doesn't live in Agra.
Or she would have painted
the Taj Mahal red.
Mister, any letters for me?
Your obituary will come directly
in the newspaper.
Not before I k*ll you.
I was on a trip to Meerut.
Handling everything,
from wedding to engagement.
And it took you three days?
They weren't ready to let me go.
Yes.
The women didn't let me go
until I applied henna on each one.
In fact, the bride's aunt had no arms.
But that didn't stop me
from applying henna for her.
If she had no arms,
where did you apply it?
Shoulders!
- I see...
- Big bold stars.
She was looking like a cop
after cleaning it.
I have a question.
I wasn't around for two days,
and you fixed Vidya's engagement?
What's the rush?
We found a fitting match
and gave the go-ahead.
- Is it?
- Yes.
Tomorrow, if you find a fitting coffin,
will you lie down in it?
- I will...
- Shut up.
Are these your manners?
Greetings, Grandma.
God bless.
Vicky, quickly apply the henna
on my hand.
Granny, your mouth's saying yes,
but your hand is saying no.
And I only cater to the young girls.
Sonu's on it.
Mom.
Couldn't you find a better
henna artist in Rishikesh?
There is no better henna artist
than me in Rishikesh.
Taste this laddoo, Uncle.
The chef made these in pure ghee.
Four laddoos for tasting?
Unbelievable!
Should have waited until
the lawyer and I had children.
Mister...
- Yes.
- Is this laddoo for tasting or a giveaway?
- I sent it for tasting, Uncle.
- Vidya...
- What?
- Why didn't you tell me
that your engagement is today?
How could I?
You don't carry a mobile.
And you have to be here
to answer the landline.
I've been repeatedly telling you
to talk to Dad about us.
But you're busy applying henna
on the hands of other brides.
Vidya, don't mix love with business.
Fine. Do you have a plan,
or are you here for the free food?
- Try one, at least try one.
- I don't want it.
- It'll spoil the taste.
- Okay, okay.
Let Vicky taste it.
Take a bite, Vicky.
I already tasted the pastry.
Pastry?
But it's not even on the menu.
We didn't order it.
You haven't started with the henna yet?
I was giving tips to Vidya.
Since it's an arranged marriage,
she's worried about
the husband's opinion about her.
Give her some good tips.
Her life depends on it.
You dwell in my dreams
When will you dwell in my heart?
You give me sleepless nights
When will you light up my days?
Now that we've met
My love
We'll talk about
The sweet nothings love
Love from the bottom of my heart
I swear
Now that we've met
My love
We'll talk about
The sweet nothings love
I've been waiting
I've been waiting for you
Without you, my heart had no purpose
My heart had no purpose
You're brighter than God's grace
And his angels, you're brighter than
God's grace and his angels
You're brighter than
God knows, everyone knows
For you I live and breathe
Beyond this world, let us go
Somewhere far away, let us go
Leaving this work, behind, let us go
There is no stopping now
Let us go
As long as you're holding my hand
My heart will beat for you
My love will be more profound
Than your henna
My love will be more profound
I've been waiting...
I've been waiting for you
Without you, my heart had no purpose
My heart had no purpose
Now that we've met
You're looking like a b*mb.
Seriously?
People like us only lie in the court.
Even you are looking handsome.
I know.
Just last week, Mom came...
Oh, you live someplace else.
No, I mean I came down
with chicken pox.
Oh, chicken pox.
Otherwise,
my face has always been bright...
In fact, children insist on studying
in the light of this glowing face.
What does that mean?
- I was only joking.
- Oh!
Bittu, save the conversations
for after the engagement.
Let's get on
with the ring ceremony first.
Yes, start the ring ceremony.
See...
I even had your name
written on my hand with henna.
That's so impressive.
Let me see.
V-I-C-K-Y.
Hold on.
V-I-C... Vicky?
- Vicky? Who is Vicky?
- Vicky?
Vicky!
That bloody henna artist.
Hold on a second.
Vicky?
- Where is Vicky?
- Vicky?
Why Vicky?
Vicky!
Look there.
- Vicky.
- Who is Vicky?
- Who is Vicky?
- There...
What happened?
Is the engagement done?
Congratulations.
This isn't fair.
I apologize.
I know I had two extra plates of noodles.
But it was delicious.
You can have five extra plates
for all I care.
But why did you write
your name on my bride's hand?
- Wrote his name?
- See, it's written... Vicky.
What is this, Mr. Bable?
Where are your manners, Vicky?
You wrote your name.
Why didn't you write your surname?
- Vicky Bable.
- Don't forget your address.
That keeps changing, son.
- That is not done.
- Hold on, Mini Siddhu.
- What is the problem?
- What do you mean?
Answer this...
When M. F. Husain makes a painting,
he signs his name underneath it.
And no one has an objection.
And everyone has a problem because
- a henna artist signed his art.
- He's not an artist.
You actually think
this talented lawyer is dumb?
Which talented lawyer?
- I was referring to myself.
- I see.
And, Dad, I think this guy
is playing games with us.
- Bittu.
- You're unbelievable.
- I can't imagine you're saying this.
- Saying what?
All I did was scribble my name,
and you don't trust your gorgeous,
five feet seven inches,
fair-skinned, black-eyed,
- weighing 55 kilos...
- That's 50!
Weighs 50 kilos,
with B positive blood group
and two beauty spots on her back, MBBS
- future wife?
- Two beauty spots.
Okay, look at me.
Let me explain.
We are seriously not having an affair.
There is nothing.
Nothing.
We only slept together a couple of times.
- Slept together?
- Nothing else.
Slept?
- Slept in class?
- Slept?
They were in class five
when they slept together in class.
- They don't.
- They are not having an affair, son.
- Not at all.
- Are you for real, Uncle?
He knows every inch of her body.
He knows her height, her weight...
He even knows her beauty spots.
- What is this?
- Do you take me for a fool?
- Unbelievable.
- Bittu.
I'm not having an affair
with this henna guy.
Spare me, lady.
I've seen dozens of cases like this one.
After the wedding,
I don't want to be the guy who
wipes her tears
while he smothers her lipstick.
Hey!
How can you be so untrusting?
Preposterous!
Do you have any idea
how popular Vidya is as a doctor?
- We know.
- If tomorrow Vidya is checking
her patient's pulse,
will he say they are holding hands?
If she rests her ears on his chest
to check his heartbeat,
he'll say they are hugging.
- What is he saying?
- And if it's a major emergency,
- and Vidya has to give mouth-to-mouth...
- Vicky...
Stop it. Stop. I am still here.
I was only demonstrating.
Based on the evidence and witnesses,
- I am calling off this engagement.
- Oh no!
- Bittu.
- Listen to me.
I would settle for a maid than her.
Please don't call off
your wedding for me.
Maid Chanda.
I'll punch your teeth with my elbow.
You don't have to believe
every word I say.
I was saying figuratively.
- Let's go, Papa.
- Bittu, listen to me.
- Bittu...
- I don't want to listen.
- Get lost, you untrusting man.
- Listen...
- Please, listen...
- You're overdoing it now.
He's gone.
We spent a fortune on the engagement,
how are we going to recover it?
You're worried about your money
and not your daughter.
There are no other auspicious dates
for two years straight.
She will be lying around in the house
like an object.
I won't marry some random
guy from the neighborhood
- if no other date is available.
- You must, child.
You must.
That's a splendid idea.
Hold on!
- I had the same thought.
- What?
The guy who spoiled her engagement
will now marry her.
You mean Vicky?
What? Hold on.
What?
- Are you out of your mind?
- Why?
I'm ready to pay for the extra plate
of noodles and yogurt,
but I am not marrying her.
As if I was going to say yes.
- I'm not interested.
- Me neither.
- Scram.
- You scram.
- Get lost.
- Wait. Wait.
Why are you two fighting?
This wedding is impossible.
- Why?
- Marriage happens
between two people
from the same level.
So they live on the same level as us.
Are you forgetting?
Mom... I am a certified doctor
and he's a henna artist.
And, father, you always wanted
a government officer.
Absolutely.
Hold on a second.
Government officers...
Even we artists want government jobs.
But there are no reservations for us.
Is this our fault?
He is right.
You will find dozens of cops, lawyers,
and doctors in every neighborhood.
But a good henna artist is rare.
Forget it.
And let me tell you a secret, Aunt.
- Do tell.
- These government officers
are so pretentious.
But we henna artists...
always show what we are.
Every time,
the color we apply shines red.
Just like me.
And don't be under the impression
that I want to marry you.
This is for your information.
Enough, Vicky.
Father...
I never liked Vicky one bit.
But his words have changed my mind.
I've realized that a henna artist
is much better compared
to a dozen public prosecutors.
What are you saying?
Can I marry him?
Bravo!
I always liked Vidya, son.
I hope you don't have any objections
to this wedding.
The community and family's reputation
is at stake here.
And most importantly...
the reputation of a girl
whose engagement was called off.
Who is shivering in this cold?
I am ready...
to marry her.
Hey!
Hold on. Hold your horses.
There's a little detail.
We had a deal with Bittu and family,
the engagement was our responsibility
and the wedding was theirs.
How dare you say this?
How dare you?
Don't worry about the expenses.
Vicky will have a grand wedding,
one like Rishikesh has never
seen before.
There will be drums, trumpets, and VIPs.
You'll be compelled to say,
is this a wedding?
We welcome everyone
to the community wedding ceremony.
Is this a wedding?
See, I told you.
These will be your words.
Is this a wedding?!
But what kind of a wedding is this?
"Sixth Charitable Community
Marriage Convention."
Dozens of altars.
Truckload of brides and grooms.
And piles of dowry items.
Will my daughter get married here?
What is the problem?
Vicky will marry Vidya here,
not fight a w*r.
- w*r...
- Father!
- Need your blessings.
- Son...
What?
- Need your blessings.
- She was left.
See, Dad, no expenses were spared.
Fantastic decoration and mood.
There's always a group wedding
on important occasions.
- Always.
- And I am called for the henna.
- So?
- What is everyone going to say
- if I don't get married here?
- Not a word.
"When it was his turn to get married,
he opted for someplace else."
- It'll be so embarrassing, Dad.
- Which one is our altar?
And it's not just Rishikesh...
- Imagine how hurt Brother Sajjan will be,
- Who?
- who sponsors this convention.
- Feel bad about what?
I believe the couple should be special,
and the wedding should be simple.
Very nice.
What happened?
It's a good thing that I applied...
the brakes on time.
Your car has no brakes,
while your mouth is full of it.
I've said dozens of times,
don't ride this car
to show off the red beacon.
- Okay.
- Where's my artwork?
Mom, I made this last night
for the convention.
What is it, son?
Can't you see these two fishes
talking to each other?
- Yes, yes.
- Let me see, brother-in-law.
Hey!
What have you done?
- What?
- That was seven days of hard work.
See, mom.
This frog face k*lled my fish.
Let it go, son.
You can adopt more.
Adopt?
Atrocious man!
Let go.
You are constantly criticizing
my brother.
He deserves it.
Let's go, Mom.
And make your husbands also fast
on Karva Chauth.
You don't have to fast alone.
And maintain at least
a three-year gap between the two children.
- Right?
- How is that?
When you two keep a gap,
there will be an automatic gap
between the children.
Please, Brother Vicky.
Bravo, Vicky!
Brother Sajjan.
Two things are popular
at weddings nowadays.
In music, Daler Mehendi.
And at weddings, Vicky's Mehendi.
Oh, please...
Vicky, I am glad you're getting
married at this convention.
- Oh, please...
- Papa, it's a huge thing that
you're sponsoring all these weddings.
I feel so proud.
Proud is okay,
but what about the expenses?
Oh.
- Please. This way.
- Come inside.
The moon will be under the veil
With moonlight in her scarf
Shell sneak a glance
At her beloved in secret
The flute will play a melody of joy
The moon will be under the veil
With moonlight in her scarf
Shell sneak a glance
At her beloved in secret...
- Need your blessings, Grandpa.
- These are my knees, son.
- I see.
- Oh, I see.
It's a good thing you two got married.
I can finally rest in peace
after seeing your children.
Will the children look so ugly,
that you will be dead?
Oh God!
Why...
can't believe your eyes?
Nobody in the neighborhood
can believe it.
But they are unaware
that Vicky planned everything,
wedding to honeymoon.
Yeah.
Perfect timing for a power cut.
No time to stay idle,
time to get busy.
Come with me to the bed...
How did this kid get here
before the wedding night?
I'm going to sleep next
to my sister-in-law.
Gopal, we just got married.
So all night we're going to play games--
Vicky, please.
Play snakes and ladders.
Snakes and ladders at night.
Go sleep with Grandpa.
Grandpa walks in his sleep.
I won't sleep with him.
- Sleeping.
- Okay.
You were saying something
about the honeymoon.
You are attentive.
- Remove the dress.
- What nonsense is this?
I meant to move the dress.
I have something for you,
under the blanket.
Goa?
Goa!
Honeymoon in Goa.
Couples should always take
a vacation after their wedding.
Right. We should.
Son, I've two tickets to Vaishno Devi.
They aren't confirmed yet.
I'll get them confirmed.
When are you two leaving?
Not us, you two are going?
- Vaishno Devi?
- Yes.
It's a tradition in our family.
Every newlywed couple
takes blessings at Vaishno Devi temple.
What kind of a rule is this?
Your family can have a rule
of getting pictures taken with this
- silly sword and getting them framed.
- Hey...
Who are you calling silly?
It's the Bable family sword.
My forefathers fought
the Mughals with this.
Someone gouged his eye out with a stone.
His forefathers fought the Mughals.
Look, mister, we're Punjabis,
but you're trying to be funny.
Bappi!
I'll chop your head off with this sword.
- What did he say? Have you lost it?
- One straight blow.
Father... Grandpa,
your joint pain will
start acting up again.
- Don't fight, please.
- Calm down.
We'll go to Vaishno Devi.
The Goddess beckons us
- Hello.
- Hello, ma'am.
Welcome. Welcome, sir.
Hello.
- Vicky.
- Hello.
We lied about going to Vaishno Devi
and came to Goa instead.
Mother Goddess will curse us.
Don't be crazy.
Mother never curses her children.
Don't worry.
And if our family finds out
where we are?
It will be a secret
between the three of us.
Who's the third person?
You, me, and Mother Goddess.
Hello.
Hello, Grandpa!
We've reached Katra!
My eyesight is bad,
but my ears are alright.
Slow down.
Glory to Goddess.
I can hear the religious
discourses at the back.
Yes, Narender Chanchal is performing.
It's a religious performance.
Great.
But, no Anup Jalota?
Doesn't matter.
Don't forget to get offerings.
Bring holy water,
and remember to get your
pictures taken with those m*dget horses.
m*dget horses?
Those poor horses who couldn't grow up.
Those poor souls who carry
a 200-kilo person on their backs.
Mules. They are called mules, Grandpa.
- Is that what they are called?
- I am hanging up, Grandpa.
I am on a long-distance call.
I'll call you back later.
Glory to Goddess.
The flame burns all night long
At the Mother's vigil--
Vicky.
In front of my eyes, close to my heart
Someone resides there, and that's you
In front of my eyes
Not yet.
When?
You said you'll give
me surprise tips in Goa.
All ready.
You remember everything.
You... Read this.
Foreign couples have a trend
- of making wedding night videos.
- Trend.
What is all this?
Vidya, these foreigners make
a video of their wedding night.
And watch it repeatedly.
It's the secret to their happiness.
They lie naked everywhere in Goa.
Beer, party, and all.
So, I was thinking...
let's make a video
of our wedding night.
If we face any problems
in the future...
Maybe when you get mad at me,
or I'll be mad at you...
and we aren't talking.
- Isn't that possible?
- Possible.
- Absolutely possible.
- We can watch this video,
and it will revive our love energy.
How do you like my idea, Doctor?
- Superb idea.
- Right?
Yes.
Did you bring a camera?
It's the first thing I packed.
- Really?
- Yes.
Vicky... Bable! Rascal!
You'll make a video of me!
Aren't you ashamed
to suggest such things to your wife?
This is why you brought me
to Goa instead of Vaishno Devi!
Vidya, listen... Vidya.
You don't have to get mad.
This is not our home.
It was just a suggestion.
We don't have to make it, Vidya.
- Vidya...
- Don't come after me!
- Disgusting man! Gross!
- Vidya.
Such temper.
Is she my wife or Ajay Devgn?
Enter my life slowly-slowly
Steal my heart slowly-slowly
Look here for a photograph.
That's really amazing. That's lovely.
Memories on the beach.
Memories in the air.
- Memories of us.
- Yes.
And memories by two lovers.
You know, I want to record every moment.
Sorry.
Did you get the camera?
No, I didn't pack it.
You didn't?
Words are not enough
To describe you
Can't take
My eyes off you
Your fragrance in the air
Your fragrance is in the air
Your thoughts make my day
My nights are lit because of you
Your name's etched in my heart
It'll never fade
I've colored myself
Colored me in your love
You are the one
You are the one I want to be with
Through the eyes, down the heart's lane
Building a world you can call your own
From you, one can learn
How to express love
Since the day I fell for you
I've been thankful
You're the destination of every journey
I'm so smitten by your love
Can't get over you
Words are not enough
To describe you
You decimated our family reputation.
This is not what I expected
to see with one eye.
Disgusting.
Camera. Video. Songs. Dance. Beach.
Gross!
Grandpa.
We apologize, Grandpa.
- We made a grave mistake.
- Sorry, Grandpa.
- Please forgive us.
- When did you two arrive?
And why are you apologizing?
I wasn't referring to you.
I was referring
to your rebellious sister Chanda.
Hello, Viku.
I was apologizing on her behalf.
See...
How are you?
Hot.
You do look pretty different.
It is my Mumbai look.
- Thank God she didn't run away to Africa.
- Greetings, sister.
What are you doing?
We're only a couple of minutes apart.
Well...
You two got married?
- We did.
- When and why?
Because they are cultured.
Both these kids are cultured.
First, they got married
and then took a trip to Vaishno Devi.
Also Bhaironath.
We also visited Bhaironath.
- Also Bhaironath?
- Yes.
Relax, Grandpa.
Marriage and kids are old-fashioned.
I'm looking for a life partner
who would love me!
Love me day and night.
In fact, even in the afternoons
if he's got the time. Just love me.
Strangle her.
In fact, life after marriage
is like the leftover water in a coconut.
What...
Go on, children.
Glory to the Goddess.
- Glory to Her grace.
- Hail the Goddess.
So the guy you ran away with,
cheated you this time as well?
I didn't run away to get married.
I went on a trip with a producer
to sh**t a music video.
But that bloody fraud got drunk
at a party and proposed to me.
You know I hate marriages.
I left the music video incomplete
and him completely.
You've put our family reputation
to shame, Chanda.
I was only putting sugar in tea.
Is the second headlight
also out of service?
Hey.
I was referring to this Chanda.
I told you to get your name changed,
but no...
Tell her to change her name.
Will the poor suffer every time?
First, she asked me to change my room,
then change my bed.
I don't even get my salary.
Your salary is safe with me.
You see, money can spoil a person.
- True that.
- Oh...
- Let her know she's giving me a bad name.
- How?
Do you know what the grocer says
when I'm out buying groceries?
I'll give you 16 bananas instead of 12.
But next time you must elope with me.
Should I elope with him
for two extra bananas?
Go get coffee for me.
Get it yourself.
I know how.
It takes only three whistles.
Three whistles?
If I whistle three times,
three hundred boys will line up
to make coffee for me.
Whistle once more to get tea for me.
I can't...
Do you feel alone?
Don't massage your hands with my feet,
massage my feet with your hands.
- He's back. The rascal is back.
- What is it?
He's already gouged
an eye out with one stone.
Does he want to gouge
the other one as well?
I will show him.
There's only so much
you can see with one eye.
Stay seated.
Chanda.
"Back from Mumbai
after becoming a star?
But nothing is lost yet.
Apologize to me.
Your first and last lover."
How dare you come here?
How dare you?
Bloody alcoholic pervert.
Look, Chanda.
- You are the one I love.
- Speak.
How many women have you slept with?
I slept with all of them.
I would be a pervert
if I had stayed awake with them.
Don't let me catch you
in this neighborhood again,
or I will break your legs.
Don't let me see you here again.
Hey...
I will destroy your family.
What are you twirling?
It's a CD of our video.
The video from Goa?
Why? Did you make more videos?
Show me.
"Sad Songs of Mukesh."
Why write this?
If it ever gets misplaced,
no one will know what it is.
Sad Song.
Who listens to it these days?
You are right, Mr. Smartypants.
Let's watch it.
But you said we'll watch it
when we have a fight.
Mannerless girl!
- What's wrong?
- Where's my glass of milk?
- Listen, henna artist, get it yourself.
- How dare you...
We just had a fight.
- Now let's watch it.
- Oh...
- naughty boy.
- Put it on.
Hurry up, it's freezing.
Oh, hello.
Oh, yes.
Listen...
it's stuck.
Oh...
We middle-class people always
get stuck at some place.
It needs a slight push.
It's slightly loose
because it's second-hand.
- Ready?
- Ready.
Vicky.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
Stop it...
No.
Vicky, let me go.
Vicky, please...
sh*t.
Stop it...
sh*t.
Stop it...
What's going on?
Grandpa, I...
Why are you mumbling?
I can barely see with one eye,
and that Gopal made
off with my spectacles.
Did he come here?
No, no...
Gopal.
Gopal.
- Grandpa.
- Give Grandpa his glasses.
Children are the image of God.
He always runs off with my glasses.
He's the devil.
Exactly. He took your glasses.
Go on. Sleep.
What were you watching?
- We... were watching a film.
- Movie.
- Oh, film.
- Yes.
- Okay, Grandpa.
- But I heard some weird noises.
Like bus, bus stop.
Yes... the hero missed his rickshaw,
so he was yelling bus stop.
Weird. People often hire a rickshaw
when they miss their bus.
But he was running after it.
- Goodnight, Grandpa.
- Goodnight.
We're ruined!
We've been robbed.
I've been yelling since morning.
Why isn't anyone listening?
What's wrong, Bable sir?
Why are you raising a commotion?
The family honor has been robbed?
- Did your daughter run away again?
- No--
I am right here.
Stop saying that I ran away.
BABA BHAVAN
What's wrong?
What's all the commotion about?
- He wakes up after we were robbed.
- What happened?
Our ancestral sword has been stolen.
You woke me up for this on a cold morning?
- Woke me up for no reason.
- He even stole a couple of my things.
Let it be, Chanda.
Go make some breakfast.
- Grandpa.
- And make some tea for me.
Make sure it refreshes my mind
and makes my body groove.
We use buffalo milk, not snake's milk.
And what do I make it in?
He even stole the stove.
Everything has been stolen.
What kind of a thief was he?
How could he burgle only our house?
Stole?
Good God!
What's wrong, Vicky?
- Stolen? It's been stolen.
- Stolen?
It's been stolen, Grandpa.
We're ruined.
Grandpa. Grandpa.
It's been stolen, Grandpa.
So till now was I singing Kabir's poems?
Grandpa...
Where is the CD? Our CD?
CD?
Our CD.
It's been stolen.
What?
- Stolen?
- Yes, the CD...
- Good Lord.
- Vidya.
- Stolen. Stolen.
- Vidya, no.
- Calm down, child.
- Stolen?!
- It's going to be okay.
- What's okay?
We've been cursed by Mother Goddess.
This boy of yours is a sick pervert!
I'd heard of big flirt, child.
What's a sick pervert?
Highest level of perv.
- Perv. Pervert. Sick Pervert!
- No...
- The tickets you gave us to Vaishno Devi,
- Yes...
- he tore them up and took me to Goa.
- What?
- He tore up the confirmed tickets?
- Yes.
I was wondering why the holy water
from Vaishno Devi was so salty.
- It was seawater.
- Sea?
He kept dipping the bottle
again and again.
What have you done, Vicky?
We only collected from the top.
We even filtered it.
Quiet!
- And he made me drink wine.
- No...
Red or white?
Forget the color
and focus on the drink.
- He got my daughter addicted.
- That is not all, Papa.
That is not all.
- He even made a video of me.
- Vidya, no...
- Which one?
- Which one?
Wedding night video.
Yes!
Oh, my God!
- And now that CD...
- You...
Got stolen with the CD player.
Right there...
That is where he hugged me.
He's having an attack.
- To hell with his attack...
- Grandpa.
There will be two deaths
- in this family today.
- Grandpa...
- No.
- I am also going to die.
- Wait, Vidya. No.
- Grandpa. Grandpa.
I am going to commit suicide.
No... Vidya!
I've been asking for so long.
Is our CD safe?
- CD?
- Yes.
- Yes, it's safe. I took it out.
- Okay.
Stolen?
UTTAR PRADESH POLICE
Out of the way!
The police never arrive on time
because you crowd the place.
Good.
How does the goggle look on me?
- It looks amazing.
- So they belong to me now.
Looking at how long
you've been wearing them,
I never thought they were mine.
I am going over
to Monu's house to watch "Faktimaan".
Shower first.
That man has two glasses
in a single frame.
Such poor people are
also getting robbed.
Who are you, one-eyed Popeye?
- There.
- I am the owner of this house.
Can't be?
I swear.
I am the owner of this house
and I called you here.
Tell me what was stolen.
- They robbed a--
- Two...
Two sofas, two televisions,
- two stoves, two cookers, two cabinets...
- Mom, please.
Why are you saying two of every item?
They are cops.
If we say two,
then they will find one of each.
- Yes sir, Two of everything was stolen.
- Right.
All these items are secondary.
My ancestral sword was stolen, sir.
- Ancestral?
- Yes.
You don't seem that way.
- Do you suspect anyone?
- No.
You, lonely stranger.
Me?
Where were you last night?
I recently got married,
so I was in my room all night.
And you?
He got married to me.
What do you do?
I am a doctor.
- This lump on my--
- I don't treat lumps.
It's getting late, Vidya.
You should go.
- She goes to the hospital.
- Yes. See you bye.
She's a renowned doctor.
- What do you do?
- I am a henna artist.
I'll ask about your hobbies later,
what is your profession?
- That is my profession.
- Amazing.
Listen, all this stuff is worthless.
But something valuable was stolen.
It's a CD player.
And it has a CD...
Anything important?
Too important. That CD has a video...
- I mean, it's my wedding video.
- Who likes to remember their marriage?
In fact, married men should
watch the video in reverse
so they can get out of it.
Please, the list is long.
Let's note everything down slowly.
Come, sit.
Sit?
- What?
- Sit.
I can't sit because of people like you.
Did I join the police for this day?
To run after petty thieves?
Had an airplane gone missing,
missed the train,
or some nation was under siege,
that would explain calling the police.
Will I look for your shoes,
slippers, rolling pin, and so on?
Any other police officer
would have said this.
But not me.
I was telling them that
no robbery is big or small,
whether it's an object or the heart.
The law is wet, sir.
Everyone will be questioned separately,
starting with the beautiful ladies.
Go ahead, ask.
He said, beautiful ladies.
- "Go ahead."
- I see.
You can ask me
whatever you want, sir.
I am in a hurry.
Why?
Are you getting hanged in the evening?
- Not at all.
- Should I arrange for it?
I am allergic to noose.
Continue.
Your good name.
- Chanda.
- It's pretty unique.
Even my name is Chanda.
Get it changed immediately.
What should I change it to?
Universe.
Which of your items were stolen?
My purse.
It had my chain, ring, lipstick,
makeup, diary, pen, glasses...
- No blanket?
- It was a small purse.
You should hire a minivan with you always.
- What nonsense?
- I am taking this face personally.
- You mean, case.
- Only one decent thing left in the house,
which the boss is trying to steal.
I don't trust the police.
We'll restore your faith.
In fact, we can even refresh it for you.
- Shukla.
- Yes, sir.
Nab all the thieves in Rishikesh.
With every breath I take
For you, I wait
Tears trickling down my face
My love has only this to say
The only thing that can keep me alive
Is a glimpse of you, my love
Is a glimpse of you, my love
A glimpse of you...
Come here for any remedy!
Don't walk, run to us for the remedy.
I'LL BE A TRUCK
WHEN I GROW UP
When will you grow into a truck?
GUARANTEED REMEDY CLINIC
Are you Thandak?
I am, but I only sell the hot stuff.
Just tell me what you want.
Do you have those videos?
I don't sell that stuff.
I sell guaranteed remedies
for piles, rashes,
early ejaculation, wet dreams...
I don't get any wet dreams.
Pintu suggested your name.
That stupid bugger hasn't paid
for the herbs he took last time.
Just be careful, mister.
The police often take rounds here.
- Police...
- One minute.
But you look like a genuine customer.
Look... "Sizzling like pizza".
- No...
- Then how about this.
'"Procreate in the blanket."
You don't have to read out the titles.
They all have the same story.
These films don't have
to win the Oscar.
Tell me about your mood.
What are you looking at?
Anything new...
Freshly shipped from Goa yesterday.
- Goa?
- Yes.
"Husband and wife, enjoying Goa life."
What...
I'll take all of them.
- All of them?
- Yes.
God bless you.
With customers like you,
- this industry will scale new heights.
- Right.
Poor souls are very hard-working.
With these many copies,
you'll need this booster.
- You keep it.
- Take it...
Shukla,
I've worked at dozens
of police stations
but never came across
a cop like our boss.
The guy never sits down
in service to his country.
Salute to him.
He's got piles.
Or he wouldn't even stand
up for the national song.
When he sits down,
his heartache comes out of his back.
He stands in an empty bus.
See this pile.
Since he got here,
he never sat or let us sit down.
Doesn't work most of the time,
and makes mixed noises
at other times.
- Get it fixed.
- Sure.
It's ringing. It's ringing.
- Hello.
- Is this Chanda speaking?
- Yes.
- Yes.
We found some of your belongings.
Come down to the police station.
- What belongings?
- We even found those that weren't stolen.
Did they find my red bra?
Coming.
You couldn't fix a camera even in 15 days.
Move.
Shut down your shop.
The camera isn't fixed.
The lens is still not working.
- Show me.
- Some people and cameras are useless.
Greetings, Brother Vicky.
Greetings.
- Six and a half rupees.
- How much?
Give me a matchbox.
- Pardesi someone's stealing your car.
- That's my car. Stop.
HUSBAND AND WIFE, ENJOYING GOA LIFE
I don't know how...
Brother Vicky,
check out emails, not females.
It's clearly written here.
"Porn not allowed."
- No...
- Don't deny it.
Half the kids have become
adults hearing that sound.
It's not good for business.
- Isn't it?
- How do I mute this?
Oh God!
The stuff you're watching is exclusive,
but don't know how to mute it.
It's mute now.
That will be 20 rupees extra
Okay, fine.
POLICE STATION
TRIVENI GHAT, RISHIKESH
Jeetu, see how far Ms. Chanda has reached.
I am Chanda.
You?
- The boss called you?
- Yes.
- Alright.
- Don't let a single balloon burst.
- Right, sir.
- Boss, your Chanda is here.
- Are all the arrangements in place?
- Yes.
Leave.
- Come on.
- Where are you taking me from here?
Is it Independence Day today?
All this?
They will be released today.
- Chanda...
- Yes...
Don't say a word.
Feel it.
I won't be able to convey
my feelings looking into your eyes.
I'll ask you a few questions
and offer a rose after each question.
If the answer is yes,
then take the rose.
Chanda, if a government officer
proposes to you,
will you say yes?
I knew it.
Chanda...
do I look like Kumar Sanu from this side?
Yes.
Chanda, do you have a twin sister?
I am ready to marry you.
And you don't have to offer me
a rose for every question.
My answer is yes.
Shukla,
round up some female constables
who just fought with their husbands.
And give her a permanent tattoo.
Until now, you were so keen to marry me.
What changed suddenly?
Why are you getting me a thrashing?
Keep it back.
Scram.
I see...
I understand, sir.
The rich always rob
the poor of their love.
What?
We'll make your tattoo this way.
- You and your tattoo...
- What was she blabbering?
And why was she here?
Being handsome is a crime, I swear.
She wants me.
- So what's stopping you?
- But I want someone else.
Who?
I have sworn
To make you mine
I have sworn
In your eyes
I see love
I have seen it
LAADLE CHANDA
In your arms
I have found my entire world
I am nothing without you
My beloved
You have flowed into my veins like blood
You have settled
You have settled
I have sworn
To make you mine
I have sworn
In your eyes
I see love
I have seen it
- You are mine
- Mr. Laadle!
Hey, Laadle.
Why did you call me here?
Your TV and gold ring have been found.
I'm going to lose my ring along
with the TV.
Shukla.
Show her the ring you
just stashed in your pocket.
Please.
This is my lucky ring.
Seriously?
Why doesn't it fit?
I hang it around my neck.
Any objection?
Out.
In fact, Chanda, I called you here
to tell you something else.
I want to marry you.
Marriage? Are you out of your mind?
I hate marriages!
I am looking for a guy who loves.
Day and night.
And doesn't stop.
- I get it.
- What?
There's only one thing
I'm going to call you...
Sister.
- Sister...
- What?
Tell us what was stolen.
- Stolen?
- Hold on.
- What are you doing here?
- He has...
I called her here
to investigate the theft.
You had to call the women
of my house to interrogate?
Are there no men in the house?
The one-eyed Popeye,
the little lad with
a speech problem, and you.
In total, two and a half men were
in the house,
and still, you were robbed.
And what are the roses for?
- They are for--
- Do you have a problem with my roses?
I ordered them for Shukla.
I see.
And whom is the red velvet cake for?
Also for Shukla.
It's his birthday.
- I see.
- Yes.
Happy birthday, Shukla.
Thank you.
- It says "Love You, Sweetie."
- Sweet--
LOVE YOU, SWEETIE
What's your problem?
Can only men call women sweetie?
Why can't a man call
another man sweetie?
I call Shukla "sweetie".
Shukla calls me "cupcake".
- Right, sweetie?
- Yes, cupcake.
I don't have a problem.
But because of your close relationship,
you can't nab a thief.
Do you think it's as easy
as playing fetch... to nab the thief?
Hold on.
I am not playing this game.
You deliberately ended that on me.
- Listen...
- Brother, please. No more games.
The boss is celebrating my birthday.
You shouldn't have a problem.
- Come with me.
- What is the problem?
This investigation is getting
my house cleaned out.
My boss stays suspended
for nine months in a year.
- Doesn't seem so.
- Every night the Thief Market
opens up at the main market.
In fact, even the police
are afraid to go there.
- Police. Police.
- Run, run.
Take care of your own belongings.
Get out of here!
Grab the stuff and run.
I've nothing to do with this market.
I swear I came to take a holy dip.
My bus leaves at 2:00 a.m.
Let me go, sir.
It's me, Badshah.
You scared me.
Where did you get the vehicle
and the car from?
The cops always rob us,
but this time I robbed the police,
did I do anything wrong?
Dismantle the car,
and send me my share.
Take the jeep.
PAHADI TEA STALL
Why haven't you sold the car yet?
Give me the keys.
- Gullu, get the car repainted.
- Yes.
- I'll keep it for personal use.
- Okay, Badshah.
Police? In this market?
- Take it, sir. It's very cheap.
- Go away.
Take it.
Hey...
Sir.
- Are you blind? How are you riding?
- Are you okay? Get lost...
- Are you alright?
- Thank you. Thank you.
Sir, wait a second.
These glasses...
Do they look nice?
They are yours.
- You look fabulous. k*ller.
- Sir, sir.
Never have I seen
a cop offer anything.
He thinks I am a cop.
I was letting you try it on.
Are you from Hyderabad?
Yes. I'm from Hyderabad, Char Minar.
What is Hyderabad
police doing out here...
I am a special Crime Branch officer.
Authorized to go anywhere, anytime,
and in any house.
I have an All-India permit
- including some parts of Nepal.
- Oh!
But what are you doing here?
I was robbed, sir.
I'm looking for the bloody thief.
When I get my hands on him,
I'll gouge his eyes out,
wrap his tongue around his neck,
and personally teach him a lesson.
I understand you want to gouge his eyes,
but why get personal?
Don't worry. I'll put in a word
for you with the local department.
Alright.
Thank you, sir.
Get lost. Go.
You look happy.
I am happy.
Milk.
Vidya...
I want to tell you something.
I know.
You thought I'd never find out.
It's about the CD.
Yes, the CD...
Put it on. Don't be shy.
What?
CD.
- Put the CD on?
- Yes.
- Play the CD?
- Yes.
Oh... CD.
I'll put it on.
But our CD player got stolen.
Have you forgotten?
Oh...
Such a mood k*ller.
I so wanted to...
But it's alright. Let's sleep.
We'll see tomorrow.
I knew you'd be in a bad mood.
So dad sent us his TV and CD player.
What do you think?
Dad sent this?
My underwear has been
missing since yesterday.
What if he sends his?
Come here.
Sit down.
- Ready?
- Ready.
I'll play the CD.
Tonight, we won't stop...
until the CD is full of scratches.
CD...
"Sad Songs of Mukesh."
What's wrong?
Did you hear that?
- See, Don't change the topic, alright?
- No...
Please, Vidya.
I am the man of the house.
This is my duty.
I'll go check.
Give me a second.
I will be back,
then we will play the CD.
Thief!
- Thief!
- Thief! Where is the thief?
Where is the thief?
Where is he?
He won't escape this time.
Grab him.
- I got him. I won't let you go now.
- Let me go.
- He's been missing since last night.
- He'll be here.
- It's a small city. Where can he go?
- You...
It's dawn and he hasn't returned.
He's also our son-in-law.
Even we are worried for him.
Right.
Don't worry. Uncle...
What else can we do?
Brother Vicky, the police are here.
Scram.
- Vicky. Where were you?
- There he is.
- He's back.
- Where were you, Vicky?
We were worried sick about you.
Listen, her nephew in Jhansi
- got his hand stuck in a juice presser.
- So, tell me.
- How is the presser?
- Ask about the nephew.
- Right.
- We're going to Jhansi to check on him.
We'll miss our train.
- Okay.
- We have a confirmed ticket.
- How can we miss it?
- Of course.
- See you later, son.
- Okay.
So...
last night you ran out yelling "Thief".
Correct?
- Yes.
- You must have seen the thief.
- Yes.
- We've got him.
- Shukla, call the sketch artist.
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
- Sir.
In all of Rishikesh,
you won't find a better...
- Hurry up, or there will be two.
- Right.
- He had slightly long ears.
- Oh!
And a bit longer from here.
- Ditto.
- Ditto.
- It was him.
- Go on.
Show him.
The thief must be someone
from the neighborhood.
Shukla. Bring me an axe
to chop his arms.
What did I do wrong?
Did you make a sketch
or a fool of us?
- Don't insult art.
- Listen...
you may be some big shot.
I may look harmless, but I am not.
Once I lock you up,
you'll need a passport to get out.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Any other inspector would have
said this, but not me.
But I do have a point.
I've seen this much hair
on two occasions.
The bear's chest
and now this thief's face.
I made it exactly as Vicky told me.
So much hair on the face?
I told him what I saw.
I saw his back so I described his back.
Had I seen his face,
I would have caught him.
Right.
You can fool the world but not Vidya.
Where were you all night?
Your starving husband returned home
in one piece battling wild dogs all night.
Instead of offering him food
you doubt him.
Me?
Are you hungry?
Starving.
Then make it yourself.
- I will.
- All yours.
- I need some space.
- All yours.
Who does he think...
What are we making?
Potato and cauliflower curry.
I can make it with my eyes closed.
Then why don't you?
What else was I making?
I meant I'm like this cauliflower,
and you're the potato.
But this cauliflower has lost
faith in this potato.
Because potatoes go with everything.
Are you going out with some okra,
fenugreek, or ridge gourd?
Are you having an affair?
Are you going on
a date with someone?
Middle-class boys like us
only go to the community kitchens.
And that place is so crowded,
that we snatch food
from the cow's mouth if we arrive late.
Not to mention, our slippers get stolen.
Hello.
Brother Vicky.
Some girl is waiting for you
at the shop.
- Okay...
- Girl?
Prepare the food,
I'll be back soon.
Where are you coming from?
- No, I am leaving.
- No, no, listen...
Wait...
- No, no.
- Sonu.
Brother, that's the thief.
- She is my sword.
- Her?
Yes.
This is bloody unbelievable.
So beautiful and still a thief.
- What happened?
- My stuff? Where is my stuff?
I don't understand.
Jewellery, clothes,
CD Player... where?
I have no idea.
- No idea?
- No.
This knife...
This sword is mine.
This is mine.
I got it from the flea market.
But--
Flea market?
Yes.
You and me go to the flea market.
- No, no, I will not go there.
- No.
Madam, I will call UP Police.
Very dangerous.
A slab of ice... snow...
Come, please. My player.
- Okay, okay, let's go.
- Thank you.
- Come.
- Go.
Move!
You what country?
- Zimbabwe.
- Okay, okay.
- Now tell.
- Yes.
This way left.
Left.
Uncle.
UNCLE KEYSMITH
- Yes?
- You...
- Is it him?
- Yes, yes, he's the one.
I got the sword from him.
No, no, I am not...
"Horn Okay Please" and he's no more...
- A wise guy.
- What?
You are Indian. Talk in Hindi.
Oh, sorry.
How many times do I have to tell you
I am not the thief?
Thieves sell their goods to me.
And... the sword you sold to her?
My ancestral sword.
The cop you were talking
to the other night...
- That officer.
- He was the thief.
- That Hyderabadi.
- Yes.
He sold that sword to me.
Where does he stay?
Where is his home?
A thief fits in every home.
Like this palm fits your cheeks.
Welcome Hotel.
- Hello.
- Can't take your eyes off her?
- Get lost.
- At least let us get acquainted.
Thank you, sister.
O wandering vagabond
O wandering vagabond
You dwell in my heart, beloved
My heart swayed on seven seas
When you looked at me
My heart swayed on seven seas
When you looked at me
I'm all yours now, my beloved
As it swayed across the seven seas
For the sake of your love
I'm all yours now, my beloved
O wandering vagabond
O wandering vagabond
You dwell in my heart, beloved
- Stop.
- Stop.
This is my car.
Whoever stole my car
will die by my hands.
O wandering vagabond
O wandering vagabond
You dwell in my heart, beloved
Where are you?
Don't keep saying hello.
I can't hear a thing.
I'll conceal you in my eyes
And never open them
Blend you in my voice
And say nothing to this world
I'll conceal you in my eyes
And never open them
Blend you in my voice
And say nothing to this world
Only I look at you, talk to you
Live and die with you
I'm all yours now, my beloved
O wandering vagabond
O wandering vagabond
- You dwell in my heart, beloved
- Waiter.
Where can I find Badshah?
- Room number 202. Yes.
- In 202?
O wandering vagabond
You dwell in my heart, beloved
Badshah...
You--
Great.
Listening to devotional songs after
committing all the sins in the world.
Badshah, where is my CD player?
Where is my CD player?
Where is my CD?
Badshah, where is my CD player...
Hey?
Sorry.
Badshah.
Down for the count so easily?
Stand up.
Where is the CD player?
Badshah?
Badshah?
He is dead.
Badshah?
No!
I only frisked you.
Badshah?
Where is Badshah?
Two hundred and two, sir.
- How dare you ask for a bribe?
- Sir, I meant room number 202.
Should have told me where
my CD player is.
Found it.
The lift isn't working.
Has to be a power cut, sir.
This is the only way to get here, sir.
Find out where 202 is.
- Yes, sir.
- Go.
Glory to Goddess.
This--
Who is it?
Police.
Not interested.
- Let's go.
- Not interested?
I am not selling groceries,
this is a raid.
I will count to 30.
Thirty or three, sir?
Those in a hurry count till three.
But we are not in a hurry.
Are you opening or
should we start counting?
- One
- Two.
Three...
Fifteen.
- Are you reciting the tables?
- Okay, sir.
- Sixteen.
- Seventeen.
- Eighteen.
- Get up.
- Nineteen.
- Twenty.
Twenty-six.
- Straight to 26.
- Twenty-eight.
Twenty-nine.
Bravo. Only a finger?
- And also my leg, sir.
- I didn't see that.
- He's asleep. How can he open the door?
- Oh.
Get up. It's past noon.
Turn that off.
Wake up.
Is he dead?
Is this m*rder?
It is a m*rder.
Seriously?
So, another Badshah bids goodbye
to the country.
See this, Shukla.
Well...
Out of my way.
Oh no...
Vicky?
Shukla, this is the main entrance
to the hotel.
And you made me climb the stairs.
Good morning, Mr. Laadle.
Alright.
But when did you change your profession?
I haven't done anything, sir. Honestly.
Did he die of a vitamin overdose?
I seriously didn't k*ll him.
- You're from a decent family.
- Right.
And you have a gorgeous and hot sister.
I will request the judge personally
not to make the noose too tight for you.
Alright?
Thank you very much, sir.
If not for you, I would be saved.
You are in safe hands.
Catch him.
Right, a little to the left.
Uncle, please don't make a CD of it.
I beg you.
- Hey...
- Who was that?
I don't know.
Vidya.
What timing I tell you.
- The boy's getting launched.
- Vicky.
- Vidya.
- Vicky.
Vidya.
Vidya.
- Careful.
- I will fall.
Save me.
Vidya. Vidya.
Save me, please.
See who's calling?
How can you see who is calling?
Your lips are like fire...
- Hello.
- She will recognize me by my voice.
Amazing, sir.
Guess who?
Suresh?
The guy in the uniform.
- Postman Naresh.
- No...
Laadle speaking.
Idiot.
Must be the maid who picked it up.
I'll show her.
Dial again.
- Hello.
- I'll punch your guts in.
Are you going to stop only after
you are tainted like the moon?
Ramesh? Suresh?
Who else have you been
fooling around with?
Next time you come to the police station,
I'll stick a bubble gum in your hair.
What nonsense?
Who the hell is speaking?
Sorry... Chanda.
I was speaking to the maid.
She was saying disgusting things to me.
Why did you call?
RISHIKESH
UTTAR PRADESH
I've known Vicky for ten years.
He can never attack anyone.
We've known China for 50 years,
but they are attacking us.
But he's a decent man.
Let him go, inspector.
First, you said to catch the thief.
Now when I've arrested a m*rder*r,
you want me to let him go.
- Are you on medication?
- How do you know?
Your walk says everything.
- Oh... same doctor.
- Make way. Make way.
Here comes the m*rder*r's grandpa.
Come, come.
Stop calling me a m*rder*r's grandpa.
What else do you call a m*rder*r?
Pilot?
- I'll yank your tongue out...
- How are you?
And feed them to the dogs.
Get lost.
- Hello.
- Why did you arrest my grandson?
What has he done?
- Just a half m*rder, nothing serious.
- Half m*rder?
The victim's in a coma.
Grandpa, I am innocent.
Did the police tow you here
for standing in no-parking?
Laadle, my brother is not a k*ller.
Not a k*ller?
His sister can take anyone's breath away,
so why can't your brother take it?
Do something, please.
You know I want to,
but I can get suspended
for doing it here.
Let's meet in private.
Do something for Vicky!
Be specific.
I already had a place in mind.
What?
I'll try.
You must try.
But act fast.
The thief is in a coma,
not on vacation.
We'll act when he wakes up.
Understood.
Mr. Bable, if you need anything...
Anything at all, call me.
- Get him out of the coma.
- Goodbye.
I gave him one little task
and he's gone.
Sir, there's a CD in it.
No, no... you can't watch that CD.
- For God's sake, you can't watch it.
- Why can't we see it?
What's so special about it?
We must check what's on this CD.
- Vidya, stop them. Stop them.
- Yes, okay.
- Go on, play it.
- Hey!
I'm tired of his excuses,
night outs, and his Russian friend.
- Play it.
- Vidya, Katie is from Zimbabwe,
not Russia.
- Is she?
- Yes.
He doesn't know where my relatives live.
- Play that CD.
- Play it.
No...
Put it here.
Vidya.
Vidya.
Vidi...
Vudu.
Please come here.
What is it?
- Vidya, they can't watch that CD.
- Why?
The CD we made that night,
was in the CD player
that got stolen.
It's the same CD.
- Is that our CD from Goa?
- Yes.
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
I was scared.
I thought you'd be mad at me.
Why would I be mad at you?
You are the best.
- I will k*ll you.
- Vidya.
What is she doing?
If you weren't in jail,
I would have dumped you.
You've destroyed my reputation.
They might hear us.
Not just hear us,
now they will see us.
Oh, God.
Wait...
TRUTH ALWAYS TRIUMPHS
Disgusting. This is all I had
to see with my one eye.
Raise the volume.
The button's not working.
And such films are more fun
to watch rather than listen to.
Turn it off. Turn it off.
- Yes...
- I said turn it off.
What is this, Vidya?
What is this...
- We were in Goa and...
- Liar!
Men from Goa cannot have
such thick mustaches.
It's some C-grade actor
from a South Indian film.
Turn it off.
Grandpa, do you expect them
to watch Jungle Book at this age?
Even Mowgli has more clothes on.
- But this...
- Vidya.
- They are married.
- Vidya, that's not our CD.
Shukla, keep the CD as evidence.
We might have to watch it again.
Safe. Safe. We're safe.
Where is our CD?
I don't know.
Vidya.
- Vidya.
- Daughter-in-law.
Daughter-in-law.
NOTICE:
DEAR THIEVES, THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN ROBBED
BEFORE, PLEASE DON'T BREAK THE LOCK
AND OUR TRUST AGAIN.
It's in place.
We go to Jhansi for two days,
and this happens.
- What happened?
- Vidya.
- What?
- They're back.
Is your tobacco more
important than your daughter?
You always mumble.
Vidya.
- Vidya.
- What is it?
Come down and come home with us.
No need to take Vidya home.
This is her home.
Vicky hasn't been proven a m*rder*r.
You will stay here.
People don't go to Bangkok
on a pilgrimage.
- I have no idea.
- But I do.
What he's done is a crime.
Let him rot in jail.
He's practically committed a m*rder.
Vicky didn't commit any m*rder.
- Just go home.
- Leave.
Leave!
You heard her.
Come on, let's go.
- Scram!
- But listen to your father.
He's a disgusting man.
Why should we listen to you?
Let me go.
How can you arrest me like this?
Stealing at this age.
Love and stealing is not possible
for me at this age.
I know, Uncle.
But even we have a target to meet.
Listen...
Hey, ancient uncle.
Hey.
- What are you doing here?
- It was vacation time.
Thought I should spend some time in jail.
It's not funny.
Move.
Did you find Badshah?
I got arrested for his half-m*rder.
Half m*rder?
- You wasted no time.
- I didn't do it.
They put me in here forcefully.
That inspector is a cruel man.
I can catch criminals like him
with my right hand.
This time we caught him
with our left hand.
Well done, sir.
Now we know why
you never sit down.
Dad, when can we see the m*rder*r?
Soon, son.
I have a question.
Are these keys only for showing off,
or do they work?
These keys that you see,
were used to pick the lock
of India Gate.
- What?
- Yes.
But there is no gate at India Gate.
Obviously. Because I picked it.
Oh!
If you can pick the India Gate, then...
- Hello, Uncle.
- Hello.
How did you get out?
So you can't complete your target.
Vicky...
Lock him up.
But is it safe to keep
a m*rder*r in lock up?
I may look cute,
but I have a ferocious temper.
Once I get my hands on the guy,
there is no escape.
I had him in my grip for several hours.
But later put him in jail fearing
I might choke him.
Before this, I had another guy
in my grip right here.
- Tightly.
- Jai hind.
If we could get a few pictures
of the m*rder,
that would make the news sensational.
- Absolutely.
- Of course.
Vicky escaped.
What?
When did he escape?
When you were boasting about
no one could escape your grip.
And what were you doing?
Preparing your medicine.
Get him, Laadle.
My son wants to take a picture with him.
Yes, sir.
- Sir, can I ask a question?
- Ask.
Imagine the m*rder*r escapes,
what would you do in that situation?
There's no escape from the
law's iron grip.
Exactly, sir.
There's no escape from the
law's iron grip.
We'll catch him again.
Catch him again?
What do you mean?
He somewhat escaped.
Somewhat?
Completely escaped, sir.
Find him immediately,
or you'll be suspended.
Faktimaan
They have their own Faktimaan
and still get robbed.
Search every room.
- Yes, sir.
- He must be hiding somewhere here.
- Look there.
- Who is hiding?
What happened?
Unfortunately,
Chanda, your brother escaped from jail.
- What?
- Yes.
Vicky escaped from jail?!
How can he escape?
How can I not be concerned
about your grandson and your brother?
Actually,
I noticed two things in his eyes.
It was slightly yellow.
- Did he have jaundice?
- No.
Good.
And the second was innocence.
That's it.
We planned everything
and helped him escape.
Give me five.
That's a peculiar way to clap.
- He slapped you, sir.
- Slap--
First, my child was accused
of half m*rder,
now you let him escape.
Now he'll be charged with two crimes.
You old-timer.
I'll turn your head into a pinata.
How dare you talk to him like that?
Any other officer would have said this.
But not me.
Don't worry, Uncle.
I'll make someone else
take the blame for Vicky.
- Shukla.
- Boss,
will I look good behind bars in uniform?
Sir, Vicky isn't inside.
Search outside.
The old man can't see,
but he aimed right at my cheek.
If we didn't cover something
in that video,
let's make another one.
And what will be the destination
this time?
Mumbai? Goa?
How about Mussoorie?
Don't say that, Vidya.
I know what I did was unforgivable.
But please find
the heart to forgive me.
While applying henna
on the hands of girls,
I also give them tips.
"You two are going to get married.
Always be together."
"Try not to make mistakes."
And I made the biggest mistake of all.
These clarifications
have no meaning, Vicky.
You said henna artists
never change.
But you've changed.
No...
A woman's reputation
means everything to her.
We're embarrassed to show our pictures
if it doesn't come out right.
In this case, it's an entire video.
How could I get you involved in this?
Go away.
There is nothing left between us.
Don't say that, Vidya.
I said go.
I am sorry, Vidya. Please...
- I said leave.
- Forgive me. Please...
- Hit me. Please, hit me.
- What are you doing? Go away.
I can't stay away from you, Vidya.
I can't live without you.
- I am sorry. I am sorry.
- Vicky.
- I can't stay without you.
- Leave me.
- I am sorry, Vidya.
- Leave me.
- Vidya...
- I said leave me!
Vidya--
Go anywhere you want,
but leave me alone.
- Please.
- Vidya.
Vidya.
Vidya.
Never felt so lonely
So broken
Like this
Since we parted ways
I've been wondering
What's gonna happen to me
If I ever lose you
I don't know what I would do
I would die
Without you, I would die
For you, I would
Endure all the pain with a smile
I would die
Without you, I would die
BABA BHAVAN
Punish me in any way you please
But don't leave me ever
I know I've made mistakes
I couldn't be loyal to you
I am shattered like a dream
There's no way to
Put me back together again
I would die
Without you, I would die
Vicky!
Are you out of your mind?
Trying to commit suicide.
I was scared thinking about what people
would say if the video got leaked.
And what about your family?
What about me?
Did you think about me?
What would happen
to me without me?
But this is my fault, Vidya.
Making that video wasn't
your decision alone.
Right?
You think I didn't want
to commit suicide?
No, Vidya.
But, Vicky, suicide is not the solution.
I had heard doctors save lives.
Now I saw it first hand.
And thank God you arrived on time,
or I would have been
split into two halves,
Vicky on one side and
Bable on the other. Like this.
Vicky.
Vicky...
we must deal...
with this problem together.
I am trying to deal
with this problem, Vidya.
I found our CD player
with that thief Badshah.
But our CD wasn't in it.
Then where is our CD?
I am in room number 202.
Bring the money and take your stuff.
Sister...
you're here.
Need your blessings, sister.
So business can boom.
I am five years younger than you, uncle.
I don't discount women's age.
How dare you swindle my money,
and celebrating your birthday here.
Hey!
You cannot trick an old lady
out of her money.
- Hey--
- Don't interrupt.
Sister, the deal is between me and you.
- Yes.
- I can handle you, sister.
But I can't handle these clowns.
- I am ready to sit and talk.
- Hey.
My fists talk better than your mouth.
Bravo, Sunil.
- I am Shetty.
- Go on!
Come!
Get lost.
Stay down.
Badshah, what is this CD?
What is wrong with him?
Is he dead?
You k*lled him.
- Run. Get out of here.
- Hey.
Just like a good boy.
Yoga.
It's a convenient and effective method
to control your temper.
Yours truly, Bulbul Didi...
controls your temper through yoga
and your necessities with money.
- And...
- Madam, Shetty is on the call.
- Yes.
- Madam,
Badshah is out of coma.
What if he tells the
police everything about us?
Sister...
Hold, Shetty.
That Badshah is awake.
What if he rats us out to the police?
Then you know what to do.
I absolutely... don't.
Because you never told me.
k*ll him.
Bro.
Why did we pick these cheap
Sunil Shetty from the orphanage gates?
Even we want to know why.
We weren't orphans,
we were only playing
outside the orphanage.
Stop this nonsense and listen.
Yes.
- That CD we found...
- Yes.
Call those people
and make a deal with them.
- Got it?
- I understand.
Hello.
Hey.
Don't say a word and listen quietly.
We have your explicit video with us.
If you want it back,
then bring 200,000 rupees,
to Jubilee Graveyard at midnight.
I'll hang up now.
Goodbye.
Hello?
Hello?
Listen to me.
Hello. He hung up.
Good God.
Did he make an explicit video of me?
But with who?
- Got you.
- Let me go.
No, no, no.
Explicit video with Chanda.
He's demanding 200,000 rupees.
Did he make an entire film?
I will either get my money today
or gouge the old-timer's other eye out.
This is your last cup of tea.
I am leaving this house for good.
Going where?
Hold on. Wait. Chanda, sit.
I am done with all this.
I am leaving and that's final.
Exactly! What's done is done.
Forget it.
I wouldn't mind a few times, but...
You wouldn't mind?!
How could you not mind?
I shouldn't?
Then pay my salary.
Pay--
Done. I'll give you your salary.
I'll give you a few hundred bucks extra.
For all the time I spent with you...
Robbing a poor soul.
How much do you want?
- Double payment.
- Double?
Agreed. Agreed.
Save your whining for someone else.
I want my money.
Here you go.
- Such a pain in the neck you are.
- Take everything I have.
But you cannot put the
family's reputation at stake.
- I got my money.
- Right.
- Your reputation will stay intact.
- Fine.
Sister told me to call the CD guy.
I wonder if Shetty called him.
Let me call him.
Listen to me quietly
without saying a word.
I've made your dirty video.
If you want it back,
bring 200,000 rupees
to Jubilee Graveyard at midnight.
We will be waiting for you.
Goodbye.
Hello.
He hung up.
Firstly, I have to evade the police,
and now this phone call.
At least we found out
the whereabouts of the CD.
- The family reputation is...
- When did he come home?
But, Vidya,
how can we be sure it's the same video?
We can watch it when the video leaks out.
How did they find out about my video?
The cops are chasing me,
and you keep scaring me.
Leave all that.
Where will we get 200,000 rupees?
I've never seen so much
money together in my life.
What a pauper I've married.
You would know how much
a kidney is worth these days.
Even your entire family
wouldn't fetch 50,000.
Kidneys aren't the only
thing getting expensive.
So is food.
He's ready to sell his kidney for me.
But, Vidya,
don't let anyone find out.
Our family's reputation is at stake.
My children are so open-minded.
They sounded so concerned
as if it was their video.
Promise?
- Promise.
- I have no lack of money.
I'll borrow it from someone.
Sir. Sir, please...
- Sir. Sir,
- Rascal.
What have you been giving
my boss for the past three months?
You've made his condition worse.
He's got scratches on his back now.
Right?
He's too embarrassed to admit it.
Rascal. We have to stand
all day because of you.
Lock him up.
Sir, why don't you apply
the oil on the right spot?
Why you...
I will show you your right spot.
Come on.
Do you also have piles?
- I give 40% discount for seniors, sir.
- Come on.
- Hello.
- Hello.
This is your Chanda speaking.
My Chanda...
Was that your heart?
It came from the heart, Chanda,
but that's not where the heart is.
Anyway, tell me why you called.
Mr. Laadle, do you have 200,000 rupees?
Shukla, do you have 400,000?
No. I have 200,000.
That's all I need.
I'll arrange for it.
But why do you need the money?
What?
- It's okay if you don't have it.
- Not at all.
I'll arrange for it...
In fact, it's already been arranged.
Okay, bring 200,000 rupees.
Behind Ganga Ghat at 11:30 p.m.
Your Chanda is coming to meet you.
I'll be there at 11:00 p.m.
Bye.
Come on.
The safe is in this room.
- Vidya, let's not...
- Come in.
- Come on.
- I will beg on the streets.
Vidya...
I might be the only son-in-law
in this world,
robbing his in-laws
with his wife.
Don't worry.
Even Lord Krishna would steal.
He would steal butter, not cash.
Let me go.
Let me go. What are you doing?
What are you doing? People are awake.
At this age, my desires can't
stand up properly even in my dreams.
Let me go, please.
Spare me, please.
I brushed twice.
You won't find a single
gum stuck in my teeth.
Are you serious?
It's all I can see.
- You haven't brushed at all.
- What are you two doing?
Since Vidya got married,
this place feels so lonely.
Then let's hire a servant.
Will a servant look nice
sleeping between us?
- What?
- What if he demands milk at night?
Are you going to feed him?
No. Servant canceled.
Look at the foreigners.
- They start living after 50.
- No...
But with us, it's childhood, marriage,
chores, children, and old age.
I never experienced youth.
Show me.
Those foreigners don't
chew tobacco all the time.
Because they are busy kissing each other.
What is your mother doing?
Her emotions are overflowing.
Time out. Time out.
Did you mix shilajeet in your tobacco?
- I added tobacco in shilajeet.
- What?
Looking at her age, even four almonds
at a time are injurious to her health.
- Wait. Stop.
- Let's begin.
There is nothing to start.
- Let's try this.
- There is nothing over there either.
There is nothing left.
Bundles?
- Don't take more than 200,000.
- Right? Only 200,000?
Tobacco.
Check underneath.
I think we opened the wrong safe.
Where's the money safe?
There is only one safe in the house.
Let it be.
I can't do anything!
We didn't find anything
except for tobacco in your house.
Right? As if you own millions, right?
Here's 200,000 rupees.
I've arranged for it.
How do you know, Grandpa?
Who else would know if not me?
Mistakes have been made,
but what's done is done.
How did you get 200,000 rupees?
Some of it belongs to maid Chanda,
and the rest is mine.
How much is Chanda's?
190,000 rupees.
Go on, son.
And bring the CD back.
If you want I can make
Badshah meet his creator today.
I will finish him.
MORGUE
That's our problem.
We want to bury the CD tonight.
I don't want to see his face.
Where is BD?
- BD?
- Where is BD?
Sorry, I don't have bidi.
How about some tobacco?
Shut up.
My other son's name is BD.
Brian D'Costa.
Christiano D'Costa.
You guys?
Have you got no shame?
Coming drunk to a hospital.
Don't just stand there.
Go inside and get the CD.
People are waiting downstairs.
Not that way, this way, you fools.
CD.
- CD, my brother.
- CD.
- CD?
- CD, my brother.
Where are you, brother?
Christiano D'Costa.
Here's the body.
CD, I am here.
Careful. Careful.
I am being careful.
Don't hurt him.
Careful.
This way... Careful with CD.
Sir, I had saved this
199,000 rupees for my wedding.
From now on, you'll fill in for me.
I am giving you the duty
of protecting this country.
- Bravo.
- I couldn't even protect my own stuff...
How can I protect the country?
You are being unfair.
I know.
Your sister-in-law's here.
- What sister-in-law?
- Hold the scooter.
Good evening.
Are you going to sell all this stuff
to give me 200,000 rupees?
What are you saying?
This is for our married life?
- Married life?
- When you called me at the police station
I knew it straight away.
We are eloping.
Eloping?
We must cross Meerut tonight.
The roads are bad.
- Shukla, take her scooter back home.
- Yes, sir.
- Done.
- What?
Why would I elope with you?
Scooter goes home or the scrapyard?
It stays.
Would a beautiful girl go to a casino with
a handsome man and 200,000 rupees?
Handsome?
Yes, since childhood.
Have you seen your face?
You look like a weak crow.
The only other thing
as skinny as you is a pencil.
And hair like a jungle.
I am scared that a deer
or leopard might leap out of it.
I see...
Should I give these 200,000
rupees to someone else?
Any other girl would have said this.
But not me.
Promise?
Promise.
We will run away.
Most definitely.
But first I must get out
of this predicament.
Someone made a dirty video of me.
Some guy made a video of her,
- and she's asking you for the money.
- Stand quietly.
How could he make an explicit video
of you when I am here?
She's eloped dozens of times.
- Anything is possible.
- Don't talk nonsense.
I admit I did run...
- What...
- But nothing happened.
Nothing.
The first time I ran away with Bhushan,
but nothing happened.
Next time with Raj,
again nothing happened.
- Then...
- If nothing happened,
- were you testing your average?
- Mr. Laadle,
you are getting me wrong.
This Chanda is without any taint.
Where did he call you with the money?
Vidya.
- It got stuck.
- Vicky...
Vidya...
Are you sure this is the place?
Did I bring you here on a date?
Let's go.
Couldn't you find a better
place to make the deal?
You said to look for
a place that's deserted.
What a scary place they called us to!
I hope they don't find
two dead bodies before the money.
Are you scared?
Scared?
I was scared at the gate.
Now I am waiting to faint.
Even as a child...
- Crazy.
- Keep your face in front while walking.
Hold my hand. Hold my hand.
Now you two go inside.
Go and make the deal,
and hopefully one of you
makes it out alive.
Get lost.
But can we kids handle such a big deal?
Which kid has hair on his chest?
You can do it, child. Go on.
- Okay. We will manage.
- Go.
- Come on, Sunil.
- Come, Shetty.
Screw them.
They brought me to a graveyard.
Why those...
Vicky, dogs.
You are!
I meant dogs.
- Listen, Sunil.
- Yes, Shetty.
What is this place you brought me to?
What do you mean?
People die to come here.
I can see that.
By the way, madam is so trusting.
She sent us to crack
such an important deal.
You are right but this
place is actually scary.
We haven't done anything.
We are innocent.
Our stupid boss sent
us here to make the deal.
Yes, I am Aggarwal, he's Yadav.
We have no business
in this Christian graveyard.
- Stupid boss?
- Yeah.
Bloody morons. You...
Who says the dead is of no use?
We can make the exchange
while they bury their dead.
Intelligent.
- God is the truth.
- God is the truth.
Christian?
Sorry.
Hallelujah.
There's Romeo and Juliet.
Vidya, ghost.
Vicky, it's them.
Blackmailers.
Did you bring the money?
Wait a second. Hold on.
Where is the CD?
With my two talented men.
No, no, Vidya.
How can we be sure this is our CD?
What?
She has one beauty spot on her neck,
and two on her back...
Then a third on her waist.
Below that...
That's it. You know too much.
I get it.
Hey, what are you doing with the CD?
Nothing, nothing.
- The money?
- Did you make a copy of our CD?
You are like my little sister.
Then give your brother-in-law a discount.
- Why you...
- Wait! Fine.
Give her the money, Vidya.
What is this?
Did you rob a piggy bank?
I hate loose change.
Are these dollars hanging from your ears?
I'll count them.
What is my name?
- Laadle.
- Then say my name?
Why did you tap my back?
You would've given me a heart attack.
These are my talented men.
Sunil and Shetty.
Any doubt?
- I'm a fan.
- What nonsense.
What?
- Laadle...
- Rascal.
Eavesdropping on our
personal conversation.
Don't just stand there.
Give them the CD.
Sorry, but we can't help you
in this case.
- What are you saying?
- We made a mistake unintentionally.
The CD fell into the basket,
and they are going to bury the CD.
Bury CD.
- Hey!
- Hey!
- CD.
- Hey!
- Wait. Wait. Stop.
- Where is CD? Where is CD?
Where else? He is inside.
- Get him out.
- What nonsense.
CD will now directly meet with God.
What does God have to do with the CD?
Hurry up, you guys,
I have to go to the church.
I'll take you to Wakanda,
but get the CD out.
Lock the coffin.
- Stop.
- Lock.
- Stop.
- Stop.
- Lock.
- Stop.
- Lock?
- Stop?
Ghost.
- Ghost.
- Run.
Run! Run!
Run!
Make a run for it.
Ghosts are coming after us.
Vicky, be careful.
Almost there. Few more inches.
Careful.
Vidya, CD.
Got the CD.
- CD...
- No.
- Yes, we got it.
- Then?
Mother Goddess,
I thank you 200,000 times.
Give me the CD.
- No, Grandpa.
- Give me the CD.
I'll get you a better CD.
I want to see this CD.
- No, Grandpa.
- Grandpa.
- No, Grandpa.
- No...
Not this CD, Grandpa.
Please, Grandpa. No.
- Give it...
- Hands off, Tikaram!
Grandpa...
Sorry. Grandpa--
No. Grandpa--
Saw it.
Smash it to pieces
and throw it outside.
- Somewhere far away.
- Yes.
I'll go take a dip in the holy water.
- Yes.
- Alright.
Me and my...
Should I make some hot tea for you?
I'm going to stay away
from everything hot.
Buttermilk then?
Go away.
The old man has lost his mind.
I don't think this is our CD.
- What...
- How could you forget?
You wrote "Sad Songs of Mukesh" on it.
Yes.
You are right.
But she knew more about your
beauty spots than I knew mine.
Should we play it?
- Come on
- Come on.
- Sir, we must change their time of death.
- Why?
The train is ten minutes late.
Sir, I told you many times
it wasn't her CD.
Why is this room so decorated?
Every couple at
the convention gets
- a room like this for their wedding night.
- Really?
All this after marriage, not now.
We already got married
in our previous lifetime.
We'll do it after marriage.
Vicky...
You made a CD at the convention as well.
Bloody pervert!
Where else did you plant cameras?
This is not our Goa video.
- Good God. I've been cursed.
- Vidya, no.
- Where else did you plant the cameras?
- Vidya...
- This is not that video.
- Vidya...
Vidya.
I know it's not that video,
but I know...
who made this video.
Sir, the train is coming.
Stay back.
Or you'll be covered in blood.
- Saved.
- We're safe
You can't do a single job right.
If they had died of a heart attack,
the police would have been blamed.
Untie them. Tie them over there.
Sir, sir.
I only stole Pardesi's car.
It had a bag of CDs.
- Mr. Pardesi, someone stole your car.
- Hey!
I thought I'd sell the CD
and the car and pay off my loans.
That's why I called Pardesi
to the hotel to make a deal.
But before I could make a deal,
these guys arrived at the hotel and...
beat the living daylights out of me.
And I slipped into a coma.
Sir, I think Pardesi is the main culprit.
Pardesi?
Your youth is staggering
Your youth is staggering
The weather, and the black clouds
The paths of love are forlorn
This is the time to fall in love
Your youth
Your youth is staggering
Your youth is staggering
Your youth is staggering
Catch him.
Pardesi.
Stand up.
Stand up.
Hold it.
Let me hit you first.
We got our salaries yesterday.
Otherwise, you'll complain
that we don't do our work.
Sir, listen to me.
Beating me up is of no use.
- Why?
- I keep getting thrashed every other day.
But not like the thrashing
you'll get today.
When you couldn't impress my sister,
you made a video of us to get back at us.
How dare you?
No, Vicky, I didn't make any videos.
The main culprit is someone else.
- Who?
- My brother-in-law.
Sajjan Kumar.
If I wasn't concerned for my sister,
I would have personally shot him.
You are lying.
I am thinking of getting married
at Mr. Sajjan's convention.
He's been running this racket
in the name of convention.
First, he gets the couple married
and then sends them to the room.
Shoots their videos
and sends them to a Sheikh in Dubai.
Sheikh?
Which Sheikh?
We never met him,
only spoke to him on the phone.
But he's attending
the convention this time.
Sir, it's been more than two hours.
Is he coming by road or by boat?
Shukla...
He's here.
- Stop.
- Stop, man.
Welcome to India.
- Dubai?
- Yes.
Any camels in the car?
- No.
- Check it.
Park on the side.
Hurry up. The convention
is about to begin.
All the arrangements are in place.
This...
Roses.
Bed.
Milk.
Everything.
Rascal.
That's what you said last time.
But I still haven't received any money.
I lost millions.
How many times have I said,
our business runs on three things?
Waist, room, and camera.
Yes.
Go and check all the rooms.
Are the cameras in place or not?
And listen...
For all the couples above 40,
- Yes.
- Mix some shilajeet in their milk.
I'll mix a couple of spoons.
- A couple of spoons?
- Yes.
Don't let it be like last time,
when the camera went cold,
and couples were hot until dawn.
- Only...
- One?
Everyone on the dance floor
The moment is special
The celebration is about
To begin
It's a fun-filled night
Cute girls by my side
Enjoy your life
No need to be afraid
Stick with me to have fun
Have the best time of your life
With me
With me
Sheikh sir.
Hello, habibi.
Come to Dubai, sweetie.
But Sheikh sir, you sound different.
Do you want me to sing a song?
Not at all.
- Wife...
- Yes.
Who do we trust
Who we don't
The truth's coming to light today
It's no longer going to be a secret
Being honest is forbidden
The truth can't be told
Like double-edged sword
The world is evil
Stick with me to have fun
Have the best time of your life
With me
With me
Whether the world's upset
You won't be upset with me
Without you, I don't want to
Live in this world even for a moment
You know and so does God
We can never be separated
I am yours, you're mine forever
Don't be mad at me
Stick with me to have fun
Have the best time of your life
Like a double-edged sword
This world is a bad place
Congratulations, brother.
- Congratulations.
- Vicky?
That was very entertaining.
It was.
But this isn't for that.
Then?
Didn't anyone tell you?
Your daughter Swati is also
getting married at this convention.
- Congratulations.
- Swati?
Yes, Swati.
There.
Swati.
Swati.
- Daddy.
- Swati.
What are you doing here?
Getting married, Dad.
One photo.
Stop it.
So you want to get married secretly?
Are these the values I gave you?
And who is the boy?
- Greetings.
- You didn't have anything else to do?
But who are you?
Venkatramana D. Sudarshanranga.
I am not asking you for the menu.
What is your name?
That's his name, father.
- Venkatesh and I love each other.
- Deep love.
You kept such a big secret from me.
Why didn't you tell me?
I told Grandma.
- Mother.
- I told my daughter-in-law.
Savita?
I told my sister about it.
Why didn't you also tell anyone?
No. You can't marry him.
Habibi,
welcome to Dubai anytime.
Being from Dubai,
if I can marry an Indian...
Spectacular!
Why can't a North Indian marry
a South Indian?
But Sheikh sir, she's my only daughter.
How can she get married here?
They still have the
soul unification ceremony.
Daddy, what is soul unification?
Wedding night. First night.
Attention everyone.
Sir has booked a room
for everyone in his resort.
And I've also written the room numbers
on the bride's palm.
Check it. Okay?
Brother has arranged the marriage.
But the wedding night
is your responsibility.
The rooms are ready,
and the night is cold.
Begin with your program.
Come on.
- Come on, enjoy. Enjoy.
- Swati. My child.
Swati!
- Good God.
- Come.
Beautiful. Beautiful.
Should we go to the room?
- He grabbed my hand.
- I won't go to any room.
I am talking about the CD room
with the recording.
You are always getting romantic.
- Shall we?
- Pardesi,
- take Sheikh sir to his room.
- Come, sir.
I will leave too.
Sir, got to pee.
Pee wherever you like.
Scram!
- What a pathetic room this is!
- Brother Sajjan has lost his mind.
- He kept a bed of nails for me.
- Scoundrel.
What are you doing?
I know Swati got married
against your will,
but you can't interrupt their first night.
- Does it look nice?
- And as much as I've seen,
- Venkatesh is a nice boy.
- Whether it's Venkatesh or Kamal Hassan,
am I making a film?
Tell me, why did you write the numbers?
- Sorry...
- Leave it.
Try to remember
Swati's room number quickly.
There's a huge list...
- Tell me.
- I'm trying. I'm trying.
- 10...
- 100.
Let me finish.
- 105
- 105
No, wait.
I think it's 10... 108.
- 108.
- 108.
No, wait.
That is Poonam's room number.
10... 3.
Yes, 103.
- Yes, 103.
- 103.
This one.
Swati.
Swati...
Did you get the milk?
Get lost.
I'll get you milk.
What was that?
So sorry, sir.
I remember... 404.
This building has only two floors.
How can it be 404?
Think carefully. Think.
- Think, Vidya. Think.
- Think.
Don't think so hard.
We're not launching a rocket.
It's...
20...
- 20...2!
- 202...
Wait...
Is it wrong again?
No, it's 202.
I am getting confused
in my own building.
Hurry up.
This is wrong. This is wrong.
Take your hands off.
Turn on the lights.
Where are you going?
- Let go. Let go.
- Don't go.
- It's a handmade shawl. Let go.
- What are you doing?
Vicky.
Where were you?
We've been looking for you.
Did you find Swati?
- I didn't find her.
- Isn't she in 202?
They grabbed my shawl.
Their emotions are in overdrive.
I've never seen so many first nights
in a single night.
- Try 205...
- 205...
- No, try 207...
- Stick to anyone.
Didn't you write down all the names
and room numbers on a paper?
- Yes, I did.
- Do you have such a list like that?
It's kept downstairs.
Why didn't you say that?
Hey...
Hey!
Was it yours?
It is mine.
It's completely soaked.
Did you find it, sir?
- I did but it's wet.
- Soaked?
- Swati.
- Swati's right here,
but the room number is not here
- Wait a minute.
- What?
Habibi.
You are amazing, Sajjan.
I've got all the videos.
Indian, American, Italian.
My daughter's video is on it.
I want that hard disc back.
There are no relations in our business.
No one outside India knows
she's your daughter.
Sheikh!
Half a million extra for your daughter.
- Come on.
- Stop, Sheikh.
You are crossing your limit.
Sheikh, stop.
Sheikh...
Vicky, catch him.
Wait here.
Yes.
Wait up.
- Let me go.
- Catch that Sheikh.
Let me go.
- Where are you going?
- Bloody Pardesi, let me go.
Stop!
Where will you go now?
Vicky, snatch it from him.
Snatch it.
Give it.
- No.
- Grab it.
Snatch it, Vicky.
- Grab it.
- Give it.
Bravo, Vicky. Bravo.
Break it. Break it.
But, what's on it?
This is no time for discussion.
Just break it. Throw it away.
But what was he running off with?
We must see it once.
This is not the time to talk.
Just break it. Throw it away.
We had a tough time apprehending him.
- We all deserve to know.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- This thing he was running off with.
- Yes...
- Vicky,
are you out of your mind?
Give it to me.
Give it to me, Vicky.
Give it to me.
Let go.
Hey!
Vicky?
I may be a henna artist
but don't take me for a coward.
Hey!
Grab it from him.
Pardesi!
Pardesi?
Where are you going?
Stop, Pardesi!
Stop it, Pardesi.
Stop, Pardesi.
Let me go. Leave...
Stop it, Pardesi.
Pardesi!
Don't play it, Pardesi.
Pardesi.
Don't play it.
It's definitely going to play.
And without any breaks.
Pardesi.
Don't be scared, Dad.
Your daughter is safe from you.
We saved your daughter Swati.
But even I am someone's daughter.
So is Pooja, Manju, Rita, Sunita.
They are someone's daughter or sister.
Aren't they?
You dare make videos of us.
Your family's reputation matters,
but our reputation is business.
Habibi,
I don't like this boy.
He ruined my time and money.
The other Sheikh would have said this.
But not me.
The law doesn't turn a blind eye
to what is wrong.
Shame on you, Sajjan.
Shame on you.
- Please, Mom.
- Don't touch me.
You don't care about women,
you use them for business.
Then make a video of me
and make a fortune.
I could never imagine
you would stoop so low.
If it's money you want,
then make a video of me.
Go on, make a video of all of us.
- Me too.
- Me too.
Make the video, Dad.
- Me too! Me too!
- Me too! Me too!
- Me too!
- Stop it.
- Me too.
- Stop!
Forgive me.
Forgive me.
Forgive you?
Forgive you?
Do people like you use sorry
to justify your actions?
We middle-class people
value our reputation.
And cheap people like you
take advantage of it.
Sometimes in life...
we make decisions for the sake of fun,
which one might regret in the future.
And for these decisions,
we are blackmailed by friends,
boyfriends, bosses, and more.
And we stay quiet to save our reputation.
Did you hear, Vidya?
Mr. Sharma's daughter eloped with someone.
Chaubey's son is an alcoholic.
And Sunita got divorced.
Everyone's keen to know
what's happening in other's life!
Imagine how low we can stoop
to see someone's private video.
Without knowing what those people
would be going through.
Vidya, what we did wasn't a mistake.
It wasn't a mistake, we were careless.
But what he did was...
downright cheap.
So why should we get punished?
Why should we suffer, Vidya?
He's the one who should suffer,
and people like him.
But...
there are people in this world,
who commit suicide thinking
about other's opinions.
Without thinking about
what's going to happen
to their parents after them.
What's going to happen to their family?
Poor souls die on the inside.
We were on the same path.
But we showed courage and got out.
But maybe in the future
someone else might not.
Another thing, Sajjan.
Two things make a person rich or poor.
Respect and wealth.
And you're a pauper who only has wealth.
We're known for waging wars
for a woman's honor?
And did you really think,
you'll be unscathed after toying
with so many female's honor.
How much money do you want?
How much?
I...
Take him away.
Shukla.
Has your faith in the law been restored?
Should we get married?
Let's fall in love.
That Mukesh is still a pain in our necks.
We searched all over Rishikesh,
but I wonder where our Goa CD is.
Baba Sehgal, Devang Patel,
and Falguni Pathak, all got their CDs,
but we can't find ours.
Only Mother Goddess can save us now.
Wait a second.
What happened, Chanda?
You got your salary.
Where are you going now?
It's not about the money.
I cannot handle the old man anymore.
Massages were fine,
but yesterday he was asking me
to rub soap on his back.
So what? There's no harm in that.
What if tomorrow
he demands something else?
"Sad songs of Mukesh."
- Vicky, Mukesh...
- Okay--
Mukesh?
Gopal, wait.
Gopal.
Grandpa, CD.
Gopal!
SAD SONGS OF MUKESH
I wont stop,
even if they give me the house.
Let's go.
SEE YOU AGAIN
- Stop the truck.
- Stop the truck!
Hey!
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Vicky Vidya Ka Woh Wala Video (2024)
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