03x05 - Wise Quacker

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hey there, everybody
It's a Looney-ful day ♪

♪ To have a little fun
The Baby Looney Tunes way ♪

♪ There's lots to do at Granny's house
Games to play and ba*ls to bounce ♪

♪ Let's jump and slide
And holler "hooray!" ♪

♪ Sylvester, Bugs, and Daffy
Taz and Lola too ♪

♪ Tweety's such a sweetie ♪

♪ Now all we need is you ♪

♪ Hey there, everybody
It's a Looney-ful day ♪

♪ To play the Baby Looney Tunes way ♪

[Pickles on TV]
Buddy, animals aren't allowed in here.

-Take that porcupine off your head.
-[drum sting plays]

What? That's your hair?

Oh, excuse me.

[audience laughing]

Wait. Did I say porcupine?

I meant skunk.

-Pee-yew!
-[audience laughing]

Did I say porcupine?

I meant skunk.

Pee-yew!

That Ron Pickles is so funny.

I think he's kind of mean.

Mean? He's just being funny.

Everybody laughed.

I wish I could make people
laugh like that.

[grunts]

Everybody's gonna think I'm the cat's meow
for bringing them their favorite toys.

[Sylvester shouting]

Look out!

Whoa, what was that?

Hey! Watch it! You're wrecking my bus.

Ooh, puddycat's surfing.

Sylvester go zoom.

He's gonna crash!

Whoa, no!

Oh, my goodness gracious.

Are you all right, Sylvester?

Yeah, I'm okay.

My stars, Sylvester.
I'd better get you a towel.

Hmm.

Hey, look, everyone.

It's Sylvester Soggypants.

Tweety said, he "tawt he taw a puddy tat,"

but I'll show you what I "taw."

Whoa!

Wait, wait, wait.
I almost forgot the most important part.

[as Sylvester] Suffering succotash.
Somebody stop me.

[in normal voice]
Hey, sing along if you know this one.

♪ The Sylvester on the bus
Goes whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪

Ah, come on, Sylvester.

You gotta admit that was pretty funny.

Yeah, I guess.

Hey, what do you think?

Was I as funny as Ron Pickles or what?

Well, I thought--

I know what you're gonna say.

I should have told more jokes
about Sylvester's blanket.

You're right.
That would have been funnier.

Actually, I was gonna say
that you were kind of--

Well, I'd love to chat,
but I'd better go work on some more jokes.

Kind of mean.

[upbeat music playing]

[grumbles indistinctly]
Granny say time to eat.

[grumbles indistinctly as Taz]
Granny say time to eat.

[grumbles indistinctly]

Mm! Slide taste good.

Aw, it's okay, Taz.

Melissa's only joking.

You got to learn to laugh at yourself.

[groans]

Dinner is nearly done.

Hey, how does Granny know
when dinner's ready?

The smoke alarm goes off.

My, my. What's so funny?

-You are, Granny.
-Me?

Tell us another joke, Melissa.

A hot dog walks into Granny's kitchen
and asks for a meal

and Granny says, "I'm sorry,
but I don't serve food here."

How does Granny fix a broken pizza?

She uses tomato paste.

[all laughing]

I saw Granny using the cookbook
the other day.

I guess she wanted to know
how to boil water.

How do you boil water?

See, even Granny
can take jokes about herself.

[groans] Oh, goodness.
This is going to be a long dinner.

[Bugs] One more, one more. Yes!

Level six, here I come.

[all laughing in distance]

Say, it sounds like everybody's
having fun,

and I want to be part of it.

-Wha...?
-[as Bugs] Ehh, what's up, doc?

[in normal voice]
Why did Bugs bury his video game?

Because he's so silly,
he thought the batteries were dead.

That's not true.

What's the matter, Bugs? It's only a joke.

Hey, Tweety.

You're so short you'd need a ladder
to tickle a worm's belly.

[Daffy laughing]

A worm's belly. That's rich.

What's the difference between Daffy
and a rubber ducky?

Everybody likes rubber duckies.

Say, that joke wasn't very nice.

Wait a second.

Is it raining in here?

Or is that just Sylvester talking?

I'm so funny I can't stand it.

Hey, Lola. What are you doing?

Making a sandcastle.

Uh-huh.

Say, don't look now, Lola,

but I think you got a marshmallow
stuck to your bottom.

-What?
-Oops, sorry.

I guess it's just your tail.

My tail looks like a marshmallow?

Yeah, and what's with that silly bow?

You don't like my bow?

It's okay, I guess.

But your ears are so big,
why don't you just tie them into a knot?

My ears are big?

No, no, not if you're an elephant.

[crying]

Hey, what's wrong?

Hi, Melissa. What's the matter, sweetie?

Lola is crying, but I don't know why.

-Did she get hurt in some way?
-No.

-Are you sure?
-Yeah.

I was with her the whole time,
telling her jokes,

and I didn't see her fall down
or anything.

Hmm.
Perhaps it was your jokes that hurt Lola.

But how could my jokes hurt her?

I was only being funny.

Well, how would you feel if someone said
your feet looked like water skis?

Water skis?

My feet don't look like water skis,
do they?

No, dear, they don't.

But now you know what it feels like
to be made fun of.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

Don't worry, Granny.

I'll never tell another joke again.

Oh. Heavens. Don't stop telling jokes.

Just don't tell them
at other people's expense.

It's all right to be funny,
but not if someone else gets hurt.

Okay, but how will I ever
make it up to everybody?

Oh, there might be a way.

Everyone, please take your seats.

The show is about to begin.

-Say, what is it? A puppet show?
-No.

Tonight we're lucky enough to have
a hot new comic with us,

direct from her latest engagement
in the nursery.

So, everyone, please put your hands
together for Melissa.

[all booing]

Now, now. Give her a chance.

Good evening, babies and germs.

You ever notice how when you're always
making fun of other people,

you end up laughing alone?

Uh...

Say, did you hear the one
about the girl who was so silly

she didn't even know
she was hurting her friends' feelings?

[coughs]

Hello? Is this thing on?

Oh, just my luck, I got a broken spoon.

Hey, a laugh.

I guess you're not asleep after all.

For a minute there,
I thought I'd interrupted naptime.

Hey! Is it just me,
or do your shorts ride up on you

when you're on the seesaw?

[all laughing]

Speaking of that,
is it a seesaw or a teeter-totter?

What's up with that?

Or down with that?

[all laughing]

[theme music playing]