[dramatic instrumental music]
- In the world of Spyre
did prophecy foretell
that the dragon Kalvaxus
would rise to power
when once more were seven maidens chained
at the mouth of his cave.
[dragon growling]
What the prophecy could not predict
was what The Seven had
in store for the world.
United by prophecy, bound by friendship,
the Seven Maidens would quickly become
one of Spyre's premier
parties of teen heroes
and all-star students at the
Aguefort Adventuring Academy.
Hello one and all, and
welcome to another episode
of "Dimension 20: The Seven."
I'm your humble dungeon
master Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me as always are our
Heroic High Schoolers.
Say hi, Heroic High Schoolers.
- [Players] Hi, Heroic High Schoolers.
- The finale of "The Seven."
[players cheering]
Last we left off our
Heroic High Schoolers,
they were plunging through
time itself, swift as an arrow.
Antiope Jones with the Seven Maidens
stretched out behind
her hand, racing forward
towards something else left
through the heart of the Necronomikron
where Talura, Eidolon of
death, was in the process of,
one way of putting it would be to say
that she was unmaking reality.
But another way to say it would be,
she's giving you guys a class A quest.
And with a GED in tow, a
General Education Development
signed by the Superintendent
of the Solecian School System
you strike forward towards
the heart of the Necronomikron
where Talura is beginning
to unmake reality.
With a flickering cadence
over your mirror bracelets,
your best friend bracelets from the day
that you formed as your
adventuring party, Charity Blythe
swats away bugs from
the infestation cantrip
as she prepares to receive you as well.
You arrive [mimics reverberations echoing]
deep in an ancient crypt
of the Necronomikron
now consumed with magma.
I would like everyone to put
your attention to TaleSpire
as we move to the next battle.
- [Rekha] Uh-oh.
- [Brennan] Uh-oh.
- [Becca] Oh no!
Oh death, she's gonna get...
- Yep.
- You got this.
- k*lled!
- Yeah!
- Thanks for the support.
- We got you.
- What you see before you as
you appear in this magma temple
with lava surrounding
you is a tall figure,
what looks to be an Eidolon,
and you see that it is
sort of two aspects in one.
As you have been moving,
things have been getting worse and worse.
And though you have encountered three
of the sisters already, you've
encountered Nera, Zefira,
and Chronoa, there are three left.
You see you are getting
closer to the heart.
Insofar as they have
their personalities here,
it seems that earth and
fire were at the vanguard
of trying to hold their
sister, death, back.
And they are [claps hands] losing.
- Oh...
- This figure is Talura assuming an aspect
of her sister, Pyrria.
This is the aspect of fiery death.
And you can see that Pyrria's
domain of flame and energy
is being wrapped up by
the Eidolon of death.
This aspect is a source
of tremendous power.
You can see her here.
This should not be.
Anyone here that wants to can go ahead
and make a perception check for me
and let me know what you want to look at
or if you want to do a
different skill like insight
or religion or arcana or something else
you can do that as well.
- [Persephone] I was gonna
do that, you can do that.
- 16.
- Cool, hold on to your rolls.
We'll go around the board.
You ask questions and
we'll figure them out.
Penny, we'll go here first.
- I have a 19 in arcana, and
I would like to look around
and see what seems to be giving her power.
- Right now the entire
bitterness of Talura
was this idea of the degree
to which she was attached
to a finite form while
she was fundamentally
an infinite being and
her sisters were as well.
What is giving her power is a condensing.
Everything is being drawn
to the Necronomikron.
Your arcana check lets you
know, you can't k*ll death.
However, these aspects,
these forms, these masks,
these bodies, this Eidolon
facing you is not an Eidolon.
It's an aspect, it's one
face that this infinite thing
can wear, and though
it cannot fully contain
the infinite essence of
the Eidolon behind it
or actually the two
Eidolons kind of behind it,
both Talura and her choking
out her sister, Pyrria,
what you can see is this is the
necessary material component
of Talura's plan to unmake the world.
The existence of this aspect is a point,
is almost an arcane focus
that the Eidolon is using
to unmake reality, so far
from this being something
that Talura is trying to destroy,
it is something she needs.
She needs this aspect to
be doing what she's doing,
and its existence here is a big problem
and a material component of the spell
that Talura is trying to cast.
Yes, Ostentatia.
- Can I read what I got?
- [Brennan] Yeah, what'd you get?
- I got a 32 in insight.
- Gosh darn.
- The Eidolon in front of you
is scared, enraged, furious.
Talura is controlling this right now.
There is conflict in there.
Pyrria wants out, Talura's
in charge right now.
As Chronoa said earlier,
we can't be questioned
in our own domains, and Talura
is deciding to end everything
so you can see that she
is planning on ending it.
She looks violent
and like she will lash out
at you for approaching her.
On that powerful insight check as well,
you also see through the smoke and haze
a couple dozen armored, cloaked
soldiers and markspeople
of the Solecian Ministry of Adventure
surrounding you on the cavern walls.
- [Persephone] f*ck.
- Oh, golly.
- [Brennan] Katja.
- I rolled pretty poorly for perception.
I rolled an 11.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- But I would like to see
if I can clock any ways
to bop around here that
aren't just a platform.
Like, can I get to any of these rocks?
Is there something I'm
just not seeing or noticing
on how to get off this platform?
- I would say anything
you see is what you see.
It looks like you have
arrived here through time
to face the Eidolon.
- Okay.
- And that whatever
teleportation the Ministry used
to arrive here got them
to these outer edges.
If you have a means of getting
out there, you can get there.
Nothing is stopping
you from getting there.
- Okay.
- But it doesn't look
like there's any, like-
- That I'm not seeing.
- Other than these enemies,
you do not see anything else.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Antiope.
- 26 perception looking for
points of weakness on her
and the bad boys in the back.
- [Rekha] Nice.
- I would say that you
know on a 26 perception
that this Eidolon's gonna have a lot
of condition immunities, right?
- Cool.
- You've fought big dragons
and monsters before, you know
what legendary resistance is,
though you might not call it that.
You know that this thing's
going to have to fail
a couple big saves for you
to push through to the final.
And you would guess that these soldiers
out on the periphery are pretty tough.
These are like, you know,
there's a squad of like 30 here.
They're probably high-octane
super-secret black ops.
This is the kind of person
that Charity would like you to become.
Speaking of which-
- Do I recognize any of them?
- On a 26 perception, you do
not recognize any of them.
- Oh no.
- You do not recognize any of
them, but on a 26 perception
you also don't see Charity.
[soft instrumental music]
- Noted.
- 16 for, let's call it survival.
Ways out, do we see
any exits or entrances?
Like, is the floor actually lava?
- The floor is actually lava
and it will do 18d10 damage
to anyone that touches it.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] 18d10 fire damage.
- Whoa, that's a lot.
- You could fly straight up, but again,
anywhere that you could escape to
would soon be unmade along
with the rest of reality,
but you do not see any
particular way out of here.
Although 16, reality's being unmade.
You're not sure, this place
feels very real right now,
but it might not be real
for that much longer.
- [Erika] Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
- So do I get the sense
that this is final stand in this room?
- You get the sense that
this is final stand,
but I don't know if you
get the sense that this
is final stand in this room.
- Okay, great.
- 25 insight.
I was gonna actually ask if I
could feel with my connection
to Talura any point of severance
between the two fighting spirits.
- I think you would.
You don't see one that is
exploitable in an instant,
but you see that there are
fissures that could be widened
through the destruction of this aspect.
- Okay, cool, thank you.
- Amazing.
We are going to begin.
First I must ask, 'cause
I heard about this later
and I just wanted to make
sure 'cause this might,
we might start combat with
me being a little bit f*cked.
Is it true that nobody here
is surprised right now?
- [Persephone] Yep.
- Yeah.
- Not if you're within 30
feet of my Rapier of Warning!
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- I'm so close I lick the rapier.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- Ooh, wrong end.
- [Persephone] Oh, it slices so good.
- It's all pointy ends.
- [Brennan] Incredible, okay.
- Where the f*ck is this b*tch?
- [Brennan] Antiope.
- Yeah.
- As you are going, "Where
the hell is Charity?"
You hear a crackling electrical voice
going across the communication
of all of the black ops teams
on the wall going, "Target the healers."
And you jump up in the air as,
pew, pew, pew, pew, pew,
pew, pew, four laser like,
[mimics lasers firing] coming
from the crystal weapons.
Out of four attack rolls
I made, three missed.
Only one hits for eight
points of fire damage.
- Whew, let's go!
- Zelda turns to you, Antiope,
and goes, "What do we do?"
- Target the kids in
the back, keep her busy,
knock them out, and then
we'll deal with this.
- Leader!
[group laughing]
- [Players] Leader!
- Yay!
Ooh, I hate that. [screams]
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- I'll take the arrow, God!
- With all the tattoos.
- Literally, we'd follow
you into hell itself.
- We've done that!
[group laughing]
I love y'all, this isn't where we die.
- Zelda, [mimics wind
whipping] "I'm super pissed!"
And just runs, [screams]
runs straight at the Eidolon
in front of her and is
going to make some attacks.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- Hit her in those hot toes.
- Yeah, Zelda runs up to
the Eidolon and the Eidolon
throws this fiery shield
up in front of themselves
and Zelda hits not a single time.
[Persephone groans]
- You hate to see it.
- Hate to see it.
Talura in the aspect of fire before you
is going to cast a spell.
- Oh no.
- And I am going to need
dexterity saving throws
from every member of the Seven Maidens.
[dramatic instrumental music]
- Oh, okay, okay.
[dice tapping table]
- sh*t!
- That's gonna be 12, 18, 27.
Did anybody here get a 23 or higher?
- [Rekha] Nice.
- 27, I forgot I had-
- [Brennan] Penny, you take no damage.
- Nice.
[Penny cheers]
- [Brennan] With evasion.
Antiope, you take 21
points of fire damage.
Everybody else takes 43
points of fire damage.
- [Becca] Oh no!
- You take 21 'cause you have resistance
to fire, that's correct.
- [Becca] Do we still have
those temp HP from the-
- [Aabria] Yes.
- Okay.
- Yes, that is Talura's turn.
Katja, that's going to be you.
- Okay, I'm going to rage! [laughs]
- Hell yes.
I will also point out, basically
the way the spell looks
is Talura [screams] leaves like,
it is just the air is
choked with burning embers
and cinders and smoke.
It is in a 20-foot radius sphere.
The sphere does not leave.
- So can I run far enough towards her
that I am out of this
sphere to take my hit?
- Yeah, go ahead and
see your movement there.
See how far you can get.
- Would you call that sphere
like, heavily obscured area?
- Ooh, I actually would.
- Yeah!
- Go ahead and move, you go into a rage.
Go ahead and take your attacks.
[intense instrumental music]
- [sighs] Okay, that first one is a 12.
- 12 is going to miss.
- Okay, I'll do my second attack.
- 28 is a hit.
- Okay, great.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- So then 1d12.
Will I ever be able to ID these on sight?
I don't think so.
- D12s are a hard one.
- Yes.
- They look so much like d20s.
- They're called fool's d20s.
- Plus eight, 12 points of damage.
- You deal 12 points of damage, boom,
as you thud your ax into the
ankle of this fiery Eidolon.
Talura from Katja, amazing.
At the end of Katja's turn,
[intense instrumental music]
[die taps table]
that is going to hit.
Katja, you are hit for 19 plus 5d6
is 29, 33, 40, but it's all piercing
so it is halved to 20 points of damage.
- Yes, I'm at 65 hp.
[group cheering]
- [Brennan] That is now
going to be Antiope's turn.
- Okay, action, I want more information.
Hunter's Sense on the aspect.
So list all of her
weaknesses, vulnerabilities,
resistances, and immunities.
- Okay, damage immunities
are, at this stage, fire,
necrotic, bludgeoning, piercing,
and slashing from non-magical attacks
so don't try fire or necrotic.
Condition immunities are
blinded, charmed, deafened,
exhaustion, frightened,
paralyzed, petrified,
poisoned, or stunned.
- Most of them. [laughs]
- You know that she has
true sight out to 120 feet
so illusions are not going to work on her
and resistant to lightning,
vulnerable to cold.
- Cool, Antiope just starts
calling this out to the group
as she backs out of the
range at the very end.
- Hell yeah.
- Bonus action, Slayer's Prey.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- On the aspect and then for my movement,
I wanted to use my Boots
of Striding and Springing
to jump up as high as I
can onto that back pillar
and scooch up and out and away.
- Hell yes, Antiope, you leap to the top
of one of these flaming pillars,
getting yourself well out of the sphere.
- Speaking of survival challenges,
I do believe that Charity
is my favored enemy
because I couldn't imagine
anything I want to be less
than a crusty, dried-up
little b*tch so can I have,
just as a reminder,
advantage on locating her
when I'm trying to do so?
- Okay, go ahead and give me
perception with advantage.
- Thank you.
[intense instrumental music]
- [Persephone] I just
want you to cold clock her
with an arrow.
- Dirty 20.
- Okay, dirty 20.
I am going to say you know
that she is invisible wherever she is.
So a 20's not gonna do it,
but because you are looking for her
and you did roll that dirty 20,
I'm gonna let you reroll perception
every time she gives away
her position by attacking.
- Vibes, sweet.
- Cool.
And then that's gonna be Talura.
Once again, I'm gonna need
constitution saving throws
from everybody.
- Can't it be dex?
- [Brennan] Unfortunately not.
[Aabria gasps]
- Ah, not 20, thank God.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- A natural one.
[Erika gasps]
- Are you within 30 feet of me?
- Nah, I climbed very far away from you.
- [Becca] Okay.
- It's a nat one.
- [Becca] Wait, but let me check.
- [Aabria] Yo.
- Oh, me too.
- What, three nat ones?
- I can only let one of you reroll.
- We got a nat 20 here.
Did anyone else get a 20 or higher?
- 18...
- [Brennan] 18, gotcha.
- 17.
- [Brennan] I'm gonna roll for-
- Just tell me I did a good job at least
before you deal a bunch of damage to me.
- [Brennan] 18, I hear
you, that's gonna be...
[dice tapping table]
- [Becca] Nice nat 20.
- [Persephone] Yeah.
- 11.
- Wait, hold on, Danielle,
you should reroll
'cause you're standing closest to me.
- Sure?
- [Becca] Yeah!
- Okay.
- Bountiful Luck!
- Um, I'm still, okay, all right.
- [Aabria] Incredulous luck.
- No, that's still not.
- That's fine.
- There's was no way I was
gonna get a 20, I don't know!
- I'm here for you!
- Maybe we're all supposed to die.
- Yeah, we'll just die here real quick.
- [Becca] That's possible.
- Nothing happens to Sam on a 20.
Everyone else takes 35 points.
- I'm at 30.
- I'm at 10.
- 10, 30, everyone takes 35
points of necrotic damage.
Let's go around real quick
and grab hit point totals from everybody.
- 10.
- [Brennan] 10.
- 30.
- 41.
- [Brennan] Danielle.
- 18.
- [Brennan] 18.
- 60.
- [Brennan] 60.
- 46.
- 46, okay, Zelda's looking hurt as well.
- What's she at, are we allowed to?
- Zelda right now is at 38.
In a very short amount
of time you have landed
in this place and boom,
[mimics fire blaring]
it has been very bad.
The next actor is going to be Penny.
- Don't worry everyone, I have a plan!
I don't have a plan!
[players laughing]
I was gonna cast Invisibility,
but she's got true sight.
It was just going to hide anyway.
My Rapier of Warning counts
as a magical item, yes?
- Correct.
- Okay, so I'm gonna run
up to her, I pull out
my Rapier of Warning.
I say, "What's that?
I know," and I stab her, it's 22 to hit.
- 22 is a hit.
- Yes, okay, okay, okay.
- Yes.
- [Persephone] Mm-hmm.
- You need an eight, baby.
Okay, it's a seven plus six, a 13.
My friends are here, five more d6!
- [Persephone] Yeah!
- Let's go!
- 13 plus...
[dice rattling]
- [Brennan] 31 total, incredible.
- f*ck the Society of Shadows!
That's right, they invited
me to join, no one knew!
But I prefer to be with my friends.
[Brennan laughing]
- We all knew!
- Just from the top-
- We definitely knew.
- [Aabria] Tight.
- What, what?
- Incredible.
I'm gonna roll this.
This is a concentration check
for the incendiary cloud.
- Oh come on.
- The who?
- Wha?
- [Becca] With that big fire damage.
- The big fire thing that's still there
that you don't want to end your turn in.
She succeeds on the save.
- Dang it.
- Maintains concentration on the spell.
At the end of Penny's turn...
- Don't you dare, Charity.
- [Isabella] Fine.
- Oh no, armored g*ons are next.
- Oh my God.
[dramatic instrumental music]
Yeah, that's not enough.
Antiope, up on your perch
with 10 hit points left
you whip to the side as a
b*llet whizzes past your ear.
Give me another perception
check with advantage
because you are the one being targeted.
- 23.
- 23, you're rolling with advantage?
- Oh sh*t, I forgot.
- On another +20 roll, you
narrow in on an area over here.
Somewhere in this quadrant
is where the shots are coming from.
They were just told to fire on the healers
and can't see any healers
'cause they're all in a big-a*s cloud.
- I'm on the far side of
this pillar, by the way.
There's no universe in which I'm like,
well lit in front of a
candle like, sh**t me.
- Oh, you're grabbing
some cover over there?
- Yeah.
- Okay, cool.
Now all of these soldiers are going to go.
- All of 'em?
- There's only like four, right?
- There's like 60.
- There are several boys.
- No joke, just rolled two
sixes, two nat ones, and a three.
[players laughing]
That's unreal.
- What a spread.
- These are really their most
qualified, trained soldiers?
- Hey, let's not.
- I know, I'm sorry.
- [Aabria] Please don't.
- I'm sorry, sorry!
- I'm gonna catch a
b*llet 'cause you decided
to have a mouth and we're
gonna have words outside.
- I can help.
[Aabria laughing]
- [Brennan] Katja.
- Yes.
- You take
[Isabella laughing]
seven points of damage.
- Okay.
- From one of the crystal tech
things that pops off and hits you.
- [Rekha] You want to keep hitting me?
I'm at 23.
- Oop!
[Brennan laughing]
- Down from 128.
[Brennan laughing]
- I know.
- Zelda is going to take 12
halved to six points of damage.
And Penny, you take 11 points of damage
from one of the shots going off.
- [Becca] I'll take it.
- That is going to move from your turn.
Ostentatia, that is going to be you.
- Okay, Divine Intervention.
- Yes!
- Incredible, you're gonna
roll this with advantage
'cause you literally
just talked to this dude.
- [Rekha] And he seemed into her.
- I'll take Asha, [laughs] I'll take Asha.
- No, no, go all the way.
- [Persephone] Go all the way.
- Get that daddy God to help you.
- [Becca] Ask to speak with her manager.
- This is actually gonna be Box of Doom.
Can we get Box of Doom in
Izzy's hands this time?
- [Becca] Oh my God.
- In my hands?
[players cheering]
[players clapping]
- This is a big risk, it's a big risk,
but the odds are very small.
It's only a 10% chance,
but you are gonna be
rolling with advantage.
- What's the risk?
- [Aabria] You got this.
- Well, the risk is it
takes an action to do.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- If this works, I will
kiss everyone on the mouth!
- [Becca] This is a spell, right?
- [Brennan] No, it does
not count as a spell.
- When?
- Does not count as a spell.
- Please let it work.
[Brennan laughing]
- [Erika] Oh my God.
- [Aabria] Feels good, oh my God.
- This feels nice.
- Let's go, it feels good.
- [Persephone] It looks good.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- It looks good on you, honey.
- It looks good on you, yeah.
- [Aabria] Yes, yes.
- Yeah, it's great, designer.
- Go ahead and roll 2d20
and take the higher of the two rolls.
You are looking for a 19 or a 20.
- Looks like vintage McQueen.
[dramatic instrumental music]
[dice rattling]
- [Persephone] Come on.
[Brennan blows on dice]
- [Isabella] 19.
- [Brennan] Are you for real?
[players screaming]
- Yes, she did!
- Are you for real?
[players screaming]
- Let's go!
- Greatest move, greatest fiance.
- Yeah!
[players cheering]
- [Group] Izzy, Izzy,
Izzy, Izzy, Izzy, Izzy!
- Talk about diamonds, oh!
- I need a cigarette.
- Showing the ring to the GoPro.
- [Brennan] I cannot believe that.
- There's piss in my pants.
[players laughing]
- We don't know how it got there.
- Somebody peed in her pants!
- I don't know who.
- Prestidigitation.
- Un-f*cking-real.
- I'm absolutely buzzing.
[group laughing]
- Thank you, Lawrence Chaney.
- Unbelievable.
Um, okay, Ostentatia, you-
- Okay.
- You reach out.
You reach out for divine intervention.
You've just become high
enough level to cast this
and you commune with your God.
You reach out and finally
for the first time
you are not asking for a prayer.
You know what your God
is and what he believes
and what you believe.
You raise your hammer.
What does Ostentatia do in this moment?
[Isabella mimics hammer pounding]
- We're gonna move [snaps
fingers] to the next board please.
[players gasping]
- Whoa.
- What?
- You see that Ostentatia
lowers her hammer, boom,
and shatters the aspect
of fire in a single blow.
The aspect of fire is gone.
As it is released, the
flame bursts outward
and you see Pyrria,
the Eidolon of fire go,
"Honey, you gotta put me
on whatever list there is
for the bags when they come out.
I'm gonna be first to get one."
[group laughing]
- And Ostentatia passes away.
[group laughing]
- So sad, so sad.
- So sad,
so sad it had to go like
this, un-f*cking-believable.
- God wants a bag from Ostentatia.
An Eidolon wants a bag.
- Wow, wow.
- [Persephone] Oh my God,
thank God for Ostentatia.
- Celebrity clients.
- [screams] We were going to die!
- We were all about to die.
- You literally feel in that moment
as the hammer comes down,
boom, you look through
the shattering of the
aspect and all that you see
is Ostentatia pushing the head
of the hammer into the earth
and literally remaking reality.
And you think about what Tectonya said
about reality being
affected by consciousness.
And you think also just
about the pure magic of,
I will shape the world
to be what it needs to be
to save my friends.
And there is a movement as
Ostentatia shatters the aspect
of fire and you all see
Ostentatia glowing, resplendent,
cinders moving through your hair.
[fans flipping open]
- Yo.
What are you doing later?
[players laughing]
- You wanna f*ck?
- As you do this, and only you Ostentatia,
see a group of divine beings
at the edge of reality
ready to defend against
the unmaking of all things.
And you see Logran with
his arms crossed smiling
looking at the gods on
either side and says,
"I told you the f*cking
kid got it, what did I say?
This kid knows what's up."
And you see they go, "All right,
well maybe there is hope yet."
And he says, "Does that mean
I have f*cking 10 minutes?
Do I have 10 minutes?"
And you see-
- Log, put your feet up, babe.
- And he says, "You know what, I would,
but I was thinking I might swing by Solace
and put a vein of mithral
underneath Elmville.
[players gasping]
Incredible, you all move, oh sorry-
- No, I have a bonus action!
[group laughing]
- [Rekha] Yeah, f*ck, let's go!
- Action economy, baby.
- Yes!
- I would like to cast Mass
Healing Word at fourth level.
- [gasps] Wow, okay,
amazing, yes, yes, yes.
- Ostentatia, just mwah.
- Like, can I kiss you on the mouth?
'Cause I said I was gonna do that.
- Okay.
[players laughing]
- Incredible, yeah, you
guys exchange a smooch,
it's beautiful.
[players cheering]
[Erika and Isabella mimic smooching]
- Aw, that was beautiful.
- [Persephone] Aw, so cute.
- We just start politely
clapping for that.
That was really good.
- Holy sh*t.
- What else you got, 'cause uh...
- Ha!
- Go ahead and roll 2d4
plus five and that will go,
and you can cast it on
six people, you said?
- [Isabella] Uh-huh.
- Amazing.
- Four and one.
- [Aabria] five.
- Five.
- Plus five.
- Yeah, so 10 hit points,
everyone heals 10 hit points.
- Thank you.
- [Persephone] Thank you.
- I doubled my hit points.
[group laughing]
- Just a little boost.
- Well also, in this moment
the incendiary cloud is gone.
The aspect of fire is gone, unbelievable.
We love a big move, big risk, baby!
- [Aabria] Yes!
- I have more plans.
- Get it, battle Joyce, get it.
- Yes!
- [Brennan] Let's go ahead
and bring everybody into
the next board after that
incredible miracle performance-
[Rekha screaming]
- [Becca] Oh my God.
- [Persephone] Unbelievable.
- By Ostentatia Wallace.
- Wallace!
- Hey, Wallace over here.
- [Erika] Wallace.
- You see another aspect.
Very easy, no roll necessary.
This is the aspect of earth.
You feel the aspect of earth here.
You see ancient stone coliseum everywhere,
but Danielle, you also feel the presence
of another Eidolon in this place.
Very small, much smaller
and softer than her sisters
and one you recognize is
also here in this place.
And you haven't seen her.
And you know that she was
the closest to Talura,
but you feel her presence here
hidden away in secret places as well.
And maybe even you realize,
somewhat hidden behind you
as though you are protecting her
and hiding her from her
sister in this place.
- Baby.
- Aw.
- Danielle, it is your turn.
You see a new aspect
[growls] this giant serpent
wielding boulders and massive swords.
And I will also say, as one final aspect
of that divine intervention,
a concentration check is failed.
The incendiary cloud is not
a failed concentration check.
The failed concentration check
is on the Greater Invisibility
on Charity Blythe.
- Yes!
- [Rekha] Yes.
- Who bursts out of her
invisibility once again saying,
"Now that the cloud is gone,
target the healers, the Dwarf girl!"
And that is going to be Danielle.
- Oh, someone's coming to eat my a*s?
[group laughing]
- Queen sh*t.
- Is the team around?
- Your team is around.
So if you look at the board.
- But I mean the-
- [Aabria] Oh, the bad boys.
- [Persephone] Oh, they're there.
- Oh, the bad boys?
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- [Becca] They're on the edge.
- Yeah, they're up.
- [Aabria] Where are the big kids?
- You can see them up in the
foliage of the stand of the-
- Yeah, there's people
behind us, there's, yeah.
- Of the stands of the coliseum basically.
I will say though, the fog in this area
is providing partial
cover for everybody here
from the archers, but it is
also providing that to them
from you for ranged stuff.
- Danielle reaches forward
and casts Enrich Earth on the Eidolon.
- Whoa, what does Enrich Earth do?
- So Enrich Earth, it
causes things to bloom.
It essentially is a buff for
land and the vegetation on it.
- Amazing.
- And she says,
"I know that you're in there somewhere.
You have to fight, and
I know that normally
decay is a natural part of
growth, but in this case,
this is not what we want,
this is not natural."
- The casting time for that is 10 minutes.
- Oh, is it?
- But I think it's very f*cking cool.
I will allow the time to condense.
So let me say this, do you want something?
You feel that this effect
can go in two different ways.
There is something you can
do to reach out in this way
to aid your friends and keep them safe
or there is another thing that you can do
which would be specifically helping Terra.
- I would like it to empower Terra
to fight against the aspect of Talura.
- You reach forward to the aspect,
provide this aid to Terra.
All of you can feel the
soil shifting under you
as it bunches up around
you in all directions.
I'm gonna say that this also
has the effect of plant growth.
TaleSpire squad, can
we throw up some trees
and foliage around the edge
of the circle of pillars
here protectively?
- Ooh.
- Whoa.
- And in addition to that,
you see that the metallic,
earthen body of this
Eidolon in front of you
begins to crack and fissure.
For anyone engaged in melee
combat with this Eidolon,
as a result of the tectonic
plates moving within this thing
melee weapon attacks will
be made with advantage
as you fight the earth
Eidolon in front of you.
- Whoa.
- And we're just gonna straight up,
that's how you homebrew a
spell on the fly if all-
- Thank you, I appreciate it!
- I love it, hell yes, Danielle.
Any bonus actions?
- Yes.
From the new growth rise up,
tons of tiny, little ants
and mites and they form
that bear, the little bear.
They school up to form the
bear and the totem spirit
of the bear extends to all of her allies
so everybody gets 15 extra hit points.
- Oh, thank you.
- [Erika] And advantage
on strength saving checks.
- Incredible, 15 temp HP.
See, y'all are sometimes
down, but you're not out,
you know what I'm saying?
- Never out.
- I f*cking love it.
- Danielle says, "Hey,
crystal, text Antiope's phone.
Say, reverse hack into the Extrordiarium."
- Oh.
- Dope, I don't have it.
- [Rekha] Yeah, it's with Tectonya.
- It's with Tectonya.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Oh sh*t, okay, so you say reverse hack
into the Extrordiarium?
Incredible, okay.
- I have remote access then for sure.
- Tectonya, amazing, great, great, great.
You get a text immediately back saying,
charming, dot, dot, dot.
- Oh, Boomer text.
- Boomer text.
- [Brennan] Boomer.
[players laughing]
- Oh my God, Boomer text.
- It's like, in all caps and you're like,
is there an emergency?
[group laughing]
- Okay, at the end of your turn, Danielle.
- [Persephone] Oh no, legendaries.
- Legendaries.
- [Aabria] I'm sure it's fine.
- That's gonna be a hit.
But there's no, even though
she's attacking from hiding
there is no sneak attack
'cause an enemy being unseen
by Antiope Jones doesn't
mean that they get advantage
so there is no sneak attack here.
- You don't have to get
ready when you stay ready.
- 12 points of damage to Antiope.
- Vibes, thank you very much for the HP.
- [Brennan] Sam, that
is gonna be your turn.
- Okay, real quick, can I roll an insight
to see if this is the final form
or if we're gonna fight Talura?
- Your connection to Talura lets you know
that this is not the final form.
- Cool, good, then I have another thing.
I can do this, okay.
- [Becca] sh*t, how many times
can you call a God?
- So I am going to sacrifice
two sorcery points to
Quicken Spell Warding Wind
which is a 20-foot
sphere of wind around me.
It'll dispel the fog in that area.
And it's focused on me
so it moves with me.
- Awesome.
- Cool,
so they'll have disadvantage to hit us.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- It may also
affect spell attacks, but
I'll leave that up to you.
I'm not really sure from the
wording from the card, but...
- No, it's only ranged weapon
attacks so you're groovy.
- Okay, and then I'm going
to use Eldritch Blast
on the earth aspect.
- Go ahead and give me two attack rolls.
- Come on, big money.
- Come on, big money, no Whammies.
- Oh, f*ck.
That is 17 and an 18 to hit.
- 17 and 18 are not gonna do
it with that shield still up.
So you see both Eldritch
Blasts [mimics magic howling]
fly out in unison bouncing off
the metal of the earth aspect
however, the Warding Wind is there.
Do you take any movement
because you have some allies,
like Zelda, Penny, and Katja
are not in the range of your Warding Wind.
- Yeah, Sam would go right to
where she can get the most.
- Get the most people, okay.
So Sam, you move to the center
of the field right here.
So all of you feel this powerful
wind [mimics wind howling]
kick up, disadvantage on
all ranged attacks which is,
again, going to become
very, very significant
in not too much longer.
We go back to the top of the order.
- Where's Charity?
- [groans] We can see her now, right?
- b*tch, you already look like
you have a foot in the grave.
Why don't you just go all the way there?
[Brennan laughing]
- Charity is well far away.
She's going to use an
item to Metamagic this.
She looks at you, holds
something up and says,
"You agreed to an act of
service for a length of time."
Touches a little device on her wrist
and you see this gem glows
and she is going to cast Dominate Person.
- [Persephone] No!
- Dope.
- And says, "Miss Jones, submit!"
And I am going to need you to
roll a wisdom saving throw.
- Can I give help?
- You actually are giving
help because if you
or creatures that are friendly to you
are fighting each other,
there is advantage
on the saving throw so you are going
to roll this with advantage.
- Could I also cast Guidance?
- Ooh, what is the casting
time on guidance real quick?
- An action, oh, so...
- [Brennan] Oh, an action.
You know what?
It's a cantrip, we'll throw
it in the Divine Intervention.
Throw a d4 on here.
- Thank you.
- [Brennan] It's like having
a tab open at the bar.
- We're gonna be dining out on
that roll for a little while.
Let's push it everybody-
- Yum, yum, yum, put it on Izzy's tab.
- Yes!
- The Wallace's are not doing-
- [Rekha] Yeah, oh f*ck.
- With a natural 19 on the dice-
- [Brennan] Sorry, with a what?
- With a natural 19 on the dice, 25.
[players cheering]
- Submit!
- f*ck you!
[group laughing]
- The device on her arm
shatters, it just shatters.
You watch the rage in her eyes
as she fully stops commanding
her troops and just transfers,
she just has tunnel vision for you
so she's forgotten that she's
here to capture an Eidolon.
She's like, I'm just, this
like, impertinent child.
- I just yelled like you.
That was fun, thanks for the guidance.
[Brennan laughing]
- It's a beautiful yell.
- Incredible.
With that she is going
to make a stealth roll.
- [Aabria] No!
- As a bonus action.
- No, do I get to roll perception?
- Yeah, you can roll perception.
- Cool, thank you.
[sinister instrumental music]
Oh, I didn't...
It was on a natural 20
and then landed on a two.
No, it's 16.
- You may roll again on your turn,
but she vanishes [snaps
fingers] from sight.
- Cool.
- That is going to be Zelda
who's gonna make a bunch of attack rolls
with advantage right now.
- Let's go, girl.
- Come on, Zelda.
Zelda turns to Penny and Katja
and just has her two scimitars
there, looking badly injured
just, [pants] with all of
you singed and burning.
She goes, "I love
adventuring with you guys."
- I love adventuring with you.
- You, too.
- You remember in Elmville at
the start of this adventure
when we had our little,
we sort of all got emotional together
'cause none of us like confrontation.
- Yeah.
- I remember that.
- No.
[Aabria laughing]
I don't know anything about that.
- Hold on, you made me
realize, I forgot something!
I pull out my crystal and I text, I'm in.
[Rekha gasps]
- The seventh maiden has texted, I'm in.
Zelda goes, "You know what?"
- Wait, why's everyone screaming?
I don't have my phone.
- Uh, I'm in!
- Oh, yay!
- Zelda goes, "She's in!"
[screams] and is going to make
five attacks with advantage.
- Let's go!
- Let's go!
- Here we go, Zelda goes f*cking nuts,
hitting into the fissures that
Danielle put there and says,
"Your spellcasting's always so beautiful.
You find a way to..." [screams violently]
And deals 34 points of
damage over four attacks,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
spinning around and around and around.
- Yeah.
- That's Zelda's turn.
Talura is going to cast
Finger of Death at Zelda.
- [Becca] No, no!
- No, Counterspell!
- Ooh, sh*t!
- Let's go!
- f*ck that, don't come up for my Zeldy.
- [Aabria] Let's go, Zelly.
- "You're such a good friend!"
- No, you are!
- Okay.
- [Persephone] This is so high.
- It's so high, it's a DC
- Nat 20.
[players screaming]
- You've gotta be f*cking kidding me!
[players cheering]
Oh my-
- Let's go, yes!
[fans flapping open]
[player cheering]
- As this seventh-level necromantic spell
comes rocketing out of the aspect's hand,
what does Sam look like?
How does Sam counter this magic?
- So Sam reaches into all of her power,
into the dark, roiling
reaches of the unknown sea
and just pushes it away
with the force of a typhoon.
- [Brennan] Whoosh, all
of the fog roils around.
For a second all of you don't even know.
It goes into like, b*llet
time, like time slows down.
All the fog looks like it's leaving
in the opposite direction
from where Sam is pointing
which makes the magic look
like it's maybe not working.
And then you remember what
happens before a tsunami comes
which is that the ocean pulls back and.
[Brennan mimics ocean wave crashing]
And I'm gonna say one of
the swords of the Eidolon
is disarmed as the spell
is ripped away from her,
boom, and the spell is countered,
that is her whole turn.
She has legendaries, but
that is her turn taken away.
- Sam!
- [Brennan] With a single reaction.
- That felt great.
- [Rekha] Oh my God.
- Your hair looks incredible!
- You look so good right now!
- Hold on, I'm gonna roll.
- Wait, let me take a video.
- I'm gonna roll to see how hot I look.
- [Becca] Just for me.
- Performance check,
go for it, incredible.
- Holy sh*t, that is a 31.
[Brennan laughing]
- Okay, I'm just gonna text this to you.
I'm not gonna hit on list to the group.
- You can put it, no, you can put it up.
[Rekha gasps]
[players cheering]
You can put it up.
- It went viral!
[group laughing]
- You get a bling on your crystal.
- My dad liked it!
- And you see it's an email
from Lola being like,
we gotta talk about the
buzz around this spell.
[players laughing]
- We'll talk later!
- I don't want to freak you
out, Sam, but Nonna liked it.
[players laughing]
- Nonna approved?
Oh my God.
- [Rekha] She's like the biggest-
- Oh my God, yeah.
- Yeah, DM you for a collab.
- My dad DMed me on Insta,
uh, Inspire Insta, saved.
And said, wow, glad Meghan didn't die.
- Yeah, [laughs] glad Meghan didn't die.
- That means I have a shot with your dad.
- [Brennan] Yeah, in the
middle of the battle you hear-
- I'm just kidding, joking.
- Check a second, Ostentatia,
on your phone it's this
beautiful tsunami of fog
ripping this elder elemental's spell away
and then in the other half of the screen
it's your Nonna doing a react going,
"I love to see my granddaughter's
friends to get together
and to have a good time."
- She's doing a reaction!
- [Rekha] "To get together."
- [Brennan] She's doing a react!
- We're all dying, yeah.
- Bless.
- Yeah, Nonna's React, it's
a really popular channel.
- [Brennan] It's huge, Nonna's React.
- And it's like, the sound
has been already ripped
and stuff and it's like-
- [Persephone] It's all over-
- [Rekha] Oh yeah.
- You know?
And teens are lip-syncing to it.
- [Persephone] TikTok-But-Spyre.
- [Brennan] Exactly.
- Yeah, doing f*cking dances
to the sound of the fog.
- Oh wait, no, that's a slur.
That's a slur, that's...
- Incredible.
So Sam, that Counterspell
is successful, incredible.
radiant and resplendent.
- Wow.
- And that, almost certainly
Zelda would have died
permanently in that moment.
- Wow.
- Oh my God.
- You know the power of the necromancy
that you just prevented from happening.
- Hold on, out of game, Brennan,
don't you f*cking k*ll Zelda.
- Don't k*ll Zelda-
- [Aabria] How could you?
- My NPCs, my rules, baby!
[players screaming]
- Brennan, we live in the same place!
They're gonna come for me, too!
[group laughing]
- We know where you live.
You're fine.
- Incredible.
So next to act is Katja.
- [Rekha] Okay.
- [Aabria] Let's go, baby.
- I'ma action surge.
- Ooh!
- [Brennan] Ooh, hell yeah.
- Okay, first I'll do my first hit.
Okay, my goal, I want
to snip her tail off.
- Oh my God, go.
- Wait, just roll two
each time for the one.
- [Rekha] For the one 'cause of advantage.
Thank you, thank you.
- All of this have advantage, yeah.
- [Rekha] Great.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- Okay, perfect, so one
of them is a dirty 20.
- Dirty 20 is not gonna do it.
- Okay, cool so that misses
so I'm gonna do another.
- Go for it.
[dramatic instrumental music]
[player gasps]
- Nat 20, baby.
[players cheering]
- Oh my God.
[players laughing]
Okay, go, let's keep-
- That's like, we do
it so much it's like...
- If you're doing action
surge, let's keep rolling more.
Let's keep doing more, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Whoa!
- Okay, this is a 16.
[dice rattling]
[intense instrumental music]
f*ck.
Okay, this is a 23.
- 23's gonna do it.
- Is this my last one?
Or no, that was-
- [Brennan] That was your fourth one.
- That was forth.
- Unless you have bonus actions
which I don't believe you do.
No, you have rage.
You can Second Wind as a bonus
action, but other than that.
- Okay, I will Second Wind
as a bonus action I think.
- Cool, go for it.
Go ahead, roll 1d10 plus nine.
- 10.
Seven plus nine, 16.
- You regain 16 HP.
And are we throwing maneuvers
on here with any of these?
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah.
- Is my belief, the earth
is gonna move, right?
He said that the earth is gonna move?
Did he say that or am I-
- He didn't say that.
You just think that this
ground looks like that.
- I think this ground
looks like it's gonna move
'cause there's light peeking
through the bottom of it,
and he pulled that sh*t in "Bloodkeep."
- Oh yeah, we're gonna get hit by a trap
and get screwed by the map.
- [Becca] Yes.
- You see after Zelda's attacks,
the earth aspect is looking injured.
Like, you don't think this
is the end of the road,
but the earth aspect is
looking injured for sure.
But what are you planning on doing?
- I'm going to do tripping first.
- Okay, we're gonna roll
a strength saving throw here for Talura.
[dramatic instrumental music]
Katja, this is your nat 20, right?
- [Becca] You had two hits
of the four, one was a crit.
- I hit two hits of the four.
- [Brennan] And one was a nat 20.
- Yeah, I'll make the nat 20-
- [Brennan] The last one.
- Yes.
- Cool.
On your first attack you
go and this massive Eidolon
is knocked to the ground
[players cheering]
in defiance of all physics and reason.
And what would you like
your next maneuver to be?
Actually-
- Tell me.
- Yeah, you said you were
interested in the ground.
Is Katja interested in the ground?
- Katja's very interested in the ground.
Can I push her through the ground?
[die taps table]
- That is the second natural
two I have rolled in a row.
[sighs] You're gonna go
ahead and roll me 4d12
plus 3d8 plus 16.
- You got it all?
Yeah, let's go.
[dice rattling]
[Katja sighs]
[Aabria laughs]
- 38 plus eight, 46, plus 16?
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- [Aabria] 62.
- 62.
- You deal 62 points of
damage to the aspect of earth.
All of you watch Katja stride forward.
It's not unfair to say that
Katja began this journey
as a bit of a, at times, awkward-
- Huh?
- Huh?
[players laughing]
At times awkward.
Katja strides forward as someone
who has stood up to her
dad, defeated her mom,
reckoned with her past
in the chamber of time.
You stride forward with a
poise and confidence of body.
There is no shyness or awkwardness
or timidity or anything.
- And you know why?
- [Brennan] Why?
- Katja's got little
Katja with her too inside.
- [Players] Aw.
[Erika sobbing]
- Hell yeah.
- I'm gonna show this
roll to my therapist.
- Yeah, little Katja
finally has that person
that she always needed and it's her.
- [Rekha] Mm-hmm.
- And with that you [mimics blows landing]
and trip a snake.
[players laughing]
Zelda says it out loud.
She says, "Oh my God,
I didn't even know you
could trip a snake."
- You can trip anything.
[group laughing]
- [Aabria] Amazing.
- Incredible.
And with that, boom, muscles rippling,
this thing flies up, lands on the earth.
And as Talura lands on the
earth, you see the earth crack
underneath it as Terra is closer.
- Yeah, f*ck you.
- And you come over and sunder
the aspect's chest, boom!
The moment Katja's ax enters
the chest of this aspect,
it goes from glimmering poisonous metal
to pure, beautiful red
and brown and gray stone
as the statue shatters apart, boom,
and the stone suspends in air
as strong and powerful hands
touch your face and go, "Sweetie,
any mom would be so grateful
to have you as a daughter,
and I'm sorry that that
person wasn't there for you.
You know that you're
there for yourself now,
and you know that you're
not alone either."
- I'm perfect!
- [Brennan] I'm perfect.
- I go, I'm perfect, [smooches]
I'm perfect, I'm perfect,
I'm perfect.
- [Brennan] Yeah, and you see
that as Terra fades away,
Terra also, you see she is
the entire earth and points
at a bunch of hoof marks
on her arm and she's like,
"I love horses, too."
[players screaming]
- I knew the earth loved horses!
- [Aabria] Let's go, let's go.
- Can we please move to the next board?
- [Aabria] f*ck yeah!
- [Brennan] Baby!
- I'm ecstatic, yes.
- [Persephone] So good.
- Brother!
- [Aabria] Yo.
- Katja drives the Eidolon
of death through the earth,
freeing Terra and we see that, boom,
the earth shatters underneath you
and you all fall through the earth, bam,
landing in a cathedral of bone, a grave,
the Ending of All Things.
Talura disentangled from her sisters,
and you see Talura has lost her grasp
on the quadruplets.
She has lost her grasp on
her eldest sister, Chronoa.
And maybe she never had her grasp on Anima
who you have wondered where
she is represented here
in this space, that she is behind you
and within you all for
indeed you are living things
here in a city of the dead,
and you have come to save your world.
You [mimics energy echoing]
arrive here in this place.
Suddenly all of the soldiers
that had been very far away
firing from a distance are quite
a bit closer to all of you.
You hear Charity Blythe call out,
"The Eidolon is secure, she is weakened.
Spring the trap now!"
[Erika gasps]
- No.
- And she, however,
is possessed of one goal and one goal only
and is going to fire at Antiope.
- Can she even see me?
I'm the wind.
- I'm shy.
- [Aabria] I'm shy.
- Oh, she rolls with disadvantage.
- [Becca] Did the wind come with us?
- Passing through the wind,
that's absolutely right.
[die taps table]
[Brennan clicks tongue]
- Oof!
[Brennan mimics weapon firing]
- You look and watch a
b*llet with your name on it.
You are at uncomfortably low hit points.
The b*llet hits and Sam,
wind through the air
the b*llet goes [mimics skull shattering]
shatters a skull right next to you.
- I love you.
- I love you.
- [Persephone] I love you.
- Did I see her, do I see her?
- She had a choice to move and hide
with that legendary action or
sh**t and she decided to sh**t
which means you're looking
right at her and it's your turn.
- Yes!
[players cheering]
- Get her a*s!
- f*ck yes, get her.
- Get her a*s!
- [Becca] Where is she?
- [Isabella] Where is her dumb a*s?
- All right, we're doing it.
I just sh**t her a bunch forever.
- [Rekha] She's like in the pool of blood.
- sh**t her a bunch forever, incredible.
- Okay, so she's within 90 feet.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- So I'm going to Hunters Mark her.
- Amazing.
[bird calling]
- My first attack, I did not add anything.
I already rolled it and
it was a natural 20.
[player gasps]
[player cheers]
- [Rekha] Bless you.
[Erika cheers]
- Wait, oh, that means I get
to add dragon bow retroactively, right?
- You can add dragon bow retroactively.
We might need to write a short thesis
about what's actually happening
if you just hit a nat 20.
On a nat 20 your Dragon
Slayer Bow allows you
to add an effect retroactively.
It also doubles all damage.
You can add an arcane shot
option on to here if you want.
- [Aabria] Yep.
- Are you hungry?
- [Isabella] Where is Charity?
- It's a spicy meatball, Brennan.
- Wait, Charity looks dope as f*ck.
- [Brennan] She's a good villain.
- [Aabria] I don't want to zoom in on her.
I don't want to like, look.
- [Rekha] I wanna see,
I wanna see, I wanna see, I wanna see.
- [Aabria] I don't wanna love her.
- She looks like the old guy
from that first Pixar short
before "Bug's Life"
[Brennan laughs]
who plays chess with himself.
- Oh my God.
That's such a deep cut.
- Incredible.
- [Rekha] I think she
looks exactly like him.
- Okay, nat 20 means that we,
which affect do you want to apply?
You could also throw an arcane-
- Restraining shot.
- [Brennan] A what?
- Restraining shot, pin her to the ground.
- Incredible, oh, that's not
even, that's just an escape DC.
Nat 20, she is automatic.
So Antiope's first arrow,
she is pinned to the ground.
She takes the shot at you, Sam,
[mimics wind whooshing] it misses.
I will also say though,
you probably need to move
in order to not hit through.
'Cause that same wind is
there so you might want to use
your Kicks of Striding and
Springing to move closer.
- Can I do a three-point landing?
Please, just let me jump off here.
- If you want to take your
movement to go 18 feet out
and up vertically to get
over Sam's sphere of wind,
launch from the air and three-point land,
we can absolutely make
that happen for you.
- Yay, thank you!
- [Erika] Oh my God.
- Your first shot goes
straight through Charity's foot
into the stone underneath
it through her foot.
- And springing up from
that, I'm using grasping shot
so vines and tangles will
spring up out of her foot
and hold her there even more.
[players laughing]
- Attack rolls against the
creature have advantage
and the creature's attack
rolls have disadvantage.
It's so bad that she's restrained.
- Yes, yes it is.
- Okay.
Dealer's choice, do you want
to resolve damage per attack
or do you want to just
go for the attacks first?
- We'll do it at the very
end, that's fine with me.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- Okay, so jump off,
we're gonna keep going and
you know I am action surging
on this so I'm just gonna
roll the next three attacks.
- [Izzy] Gone for a minute
but back with the jump off.
- Incredible.
- [Persephone] I'm so into this.
- Okay, second attack
is a dirty 20 to hit.
- Dirty 20's a hit.
- [Aabria] Sweet.
[fans flapping open]
- [Persephone] Oh yeah.
- Next one, oh my God, it's a 31 to hit.
- Yeah, 31's gonna get
the job done as well.
- I think if a 20's gonna
do it, a 31's gonna go.
- I think so.
- And a 26 to hit.
- 26 is gonna do it as well.
- I just want to hit the
ground and just walk up,
laying arrows into her.
- Oh my God!
- You wanted me, you f*cking got me.
[Brennan laughing]
- [Becca] Oh!
- [Persephone] You k*ll her in one shot.
- Incredible, okay so that's
grasping shot on the first one.
You see Antiope from midair
twirling and spinning
launches the arrow that
locks her foot to the ground
and vines whip up around
her as that happens
and you begin to walk towards
her just dodging b*ll*ts
and all over just, [mimics
arrow firing] another arrow
[mimics arrows firing]
four arrows into Charity.
We are gonna roll damage
right now, incredible.
- And I got Hunter's Mark on
all of those too, correct?
- It's Hunter's Mark on all of them.
The first arrow is gonna be 2d8,
And then your other three
attacks are going to be
[sighs] 3d8, 3d6 plus-
- I'll hit her with grasping
arrow twice, by the way.
I am emptying my, like, just
everything I've got on her.
- [Brennan] Oh, you're,
so okay, so that's gonna-
- So I'll burn both of my arcane shots.
- Incredible, so that's all together,
if I'm not much mistaken,
that's gonna be 5d8
plus 11d6
plus 24.
[lively instrumental music]
[dice rattling]
[Brennan sighs dejectedly]
- Oh God, 36 for the d6s.
Oh, that is a 10, 15, 16.
That's all of, 16, 76 points of damage.
[Becca laughs]
[Persephone cheers]
[Rekha smooching]
- [Becca] Don't f*ck with us, dumb b*tch.
- And I forgot to take
sharpsh**ter which I shoulda done.
That's on me, that's fine.
- Actually,
[Rekha gasps]
on a nat 20, would you
like to take sharpsh**ter?
- Yes, please.
- Great.
[players shouting]
- [Aabria] Pretty please.
- The meatball is very spicy, it's spicy.
- [Becca] Just spicy.
- On a nat 20 we'll throw
sharpsh**ter on there.
- Thanks, buddy.
- Antiope, you walk forward.
Arrow one in the foot,
arrow two in the stomach,
arrow three in the throat.
Charity looks up at
you, [gasps and gurgles]
"You...
[dramatic instrumental music]
The world needs us.
Don't do this.
You could serve."
- No one needs you.
- Show her your tattoo.
[Aabria laughing]
- [Players] Show her your tattoo!
- I turn and flash my whole a*s.
- Yeah, you see right before
you do that she says, "You,
if there is no greater
honor than to find a cause
and be its servant." [coughs]
As you turn around.
- Bleh.
- [Brennan] Show her your a*s.
- With my leader tattoo!
- And it just says, "Leader"
And she says, "Is that
in two different fonts?"
And you whip around and the fourth arrow
goes straight into her heart.
[players shouting]
- And by the way, she
didn't have diarrhea.
- [Becca] And another thing.
- And another thing!
She never will!
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- What great last words.
- And I turn back
and walk away and I'm
gonna Second Wind myself.
- [Brennan] Go ahead and heal up.
Charity Blythe is dead.
- Oh my God! [screams]
[players cheering]
[players clapping]
I hate her so much!
- Incredible.
I'm gonna say that Talura,
who has not acted yet
since she has taken her true form screams,
looks at you, Sam, who has
Counterspelled her last big spell
that she was going to do and
she turns her attention to you
and casts an eighth-level spell.
- No, no one else has Counterspell.
- I can't cast it either,
it's the same round, right?
- Same round, Power
Word k*ll, eighth level.
Sam, you see Talura looks at you and,
"You, you think
just because you showed me kindness
that I will stop at anything
to get them back?" [screams]
All of you, blood gushes
from your noses and your eyes
and Sam, she hits you
with Power Word k*ll.
There is no save
because less than 100 hit
points, instant death.
Sam, you feel your life
[gasps] leave your body.
[Persephone gasping]
You feel your connection to this thing,
whatever that warlock's pact is,
as you are pulled from your body.
All of you watch your friend,
your incredible sorceress
friend who reached out
to this being in her moment of
crisis and got you the quest
that you needed to save this party,
Sam who from the very beginning
wanted nothing more than
to keep you all together.
[mimics wind howling] Life leaves.
The next person to act
is going to be Penny.
[somber instrumental music]
- There is nothing I can do.
Uh...
Help me out, should I
cast invisibility on?
No, she's still got true sight.
- She still has true sight.
What I will say is this.
Penny, go ahead and give
me a perception check.
[die taps table]
- [groans] Luck.
[Rekha laughs]
Okay, that's a 26.
- You look, you rack your brain
for the all books you've read
and the studying you've done
You know that powerful
beings, especially like Talura
have the ability to fight
with an incredible proficiency
and dexterity, they can take
on entire teams of adventurers.
You see in the last movement
like, just to say it
sort of mechanically
like, Talura didn't take
as many legendary actions
as Charity was taking
because Talura used that breath
that did all that damage.
You can see that Talura
is similarly exhausted.
You've been ripping her
sisters away from her.
This thing that she did
to be able to cast a spell
off of her turn in initiative
has exhausted her well
of things she is able to do at
the end of all of your turns.
There is a moment here as she
has ripped Sam's life away
you can see she is in a weakened state.
There's all these soldiers around
that were prepared to capture her
now that she was disentangled
from her sisters.
She's going to try to destroy
all of you here in this moment
and you realize that
even this vision of her
is an aspect of herself.
She's more infinite than
she believes she is,
and she's holding on to this form.
On a 26, you feel
the other Eidolons behind you,
and you hear the voice of Chronoa saying,
"I, in all of my infinite wisdom
from the beginning to the end of time,
I could never have guessed
that here at the end of things,
death would be most afraid to die.
[tender instrumental music]
Please bring her home to us."
[screams] Talura rears up,
she's gonna destroy all of you.
- No, I can't let her hurt
any of my friends again.
And I want to scream at her,
"This isn't gonna bring your sisters back.
There's only one way for
you to join them again."
But instead,
I just run at her with my rapier.
- Go ahead and make an attack roll.
- Do I have advantage because of Danielle?
- Yes, you still got advantage, yes.
[dice rattling]
- 27 to hit.
- That's gonna hit.
Go ahead and roll damage
with sneak attack.
- Five and a d8, oh gosh.
[gasps] Three of 'em are sixes.
- Whew, hell yeah.
- [Aabria] Yes!
- The devil.
[players laughing]
[Becca hissing]
- [Rekha] It's the devil.
- It was the devil.
- 25.
- 25 points of damage?
- Yeah.
- Incredible.
Penny, you rush forward
and are the first hero here
to strike Talura-
- Can I use my cunning action
to climb up her and just, I
want to stab her in the eye.
- Yes, you absolutely can.
- That's my sister!
- You rush up.
As you deal that damage you
say, "That's my sister."
Go ahead and I will allow you
to make either a persuasion check here.
Yeah, I actually will ask
for a persuasion check.
- Are you sure you don't want like history
or arcana?
- Or arcana?
No, actually, you know what?
Your choice, give me
persuasion or intimidation.
- You still have Bardic Inspiration.
[players gasping]
- [Aabria] Oh my God.
- Even in death!
[players screaming]
- Okay, persuasion.
- And because of those
exact words that you used,
go ahead and roll this with advantage.
[Becca screams]
[Aabria laughs]
- [Persephone] That just went-
- It's an eight and an 18, I'll take it.
So I have a [laughs] 21, but here we go.
But then I hear my sister's
voice singing to me
and it's a 25.
♪ You can do it ♪
- 25?
You rush up, take your rapier out.
"That's my sister," you stab
and Talura for the first time
in beyond ages, her
actual form is injured.
It is not an aspect of one of her sisters.
And this giant, snarling undead Eidolon,
as you hold on to her,
clutches you with one hand
and looks at you in her hand screaming.
And with that 25
persuasion she looks at you
and blood gushes from her throat
but also from her eyes as well.
She says, "These maidens
were your sisters?"
[soft instrumental music]
We are going to move in initiative
as Penny is clutched there by Talura.
You hear [mimics static
hissing] "Pull us out, abort.
Mission's over," and these
soldiers start disappearing
as Charity's body's dead on the ground.
The Legendarium is there.
These soldiers begin to
[mimics electrical buzzing]
just vanish from around
you as Talura stands,
entranced by that 25
persuasion from Penny.
The next two to go are
Ostentatia and Danielle.
That's Ostentatia first and then Danielle,
but I'm also gonna let you
both look at each other
as everything sort of
hangs in the balance here.
- Is there anything you can do for Sam?
- Oh yeah, Revivify.
[group laughing]
- What did you say?
- Revivify.
- [Rekha] Oh.
- Ostentatia, you walk
forward pulling another gem.
[sighs] The ones given
to you by your father
at the beginning of this quest.
Hands glow brighter than
the surface of the Sun
as you kneel down and you
begin to cast this spell
to bring Sam back, and we
will come there in a moment,
but I also want to know what Danielle
is doing in this moment.
- [mimics impact resounding]
Danielle hits the ground
with her staff, the gown, the mask,
everything from the ball returns.
- [Aabria] Yes!
[Rekha gasps]
- There's the spores of the mushrooms
and the leaves swirling,
the flowers in her hair
and she turns behind her and asks,
"Would you speak with her?"
- Oh my God.
- And you watch Danielle do the thing
that she has always been here to do
which is to be a voice for the voiceless.
And Danielle, as you watch
your sister Ostentatia
go to relight the fire of Sam's
heart you rise into the air
and speak with the voice of infinite life.
The final Eidolon, Anima, has
appeared before her sister
as you float above her.
Does Danielle wish to
speak as Anima or rather,
will Danielle be speaking for her?
- Channeling.
- Anima speaks through Danielle,
looks at her sister and-
- [Erika] Danielle will help her.
- Yeah, Anima looks at you as well.
She speaks and Danielle speaks
and whether either of them
are speaking, they are
both speaking as one.
She addresses Talura and says,
"Sister, I know that it will frighten you.
Step forward, grow tall.
All things end because all things change
and every changing is
an ending of what was.
Come and be with us.
No one can hold on to the present moment."
And here you see Chronoa
appears behind her
and all of the sisters in a
line stretching from Anima
up to their eldest, Chronoa.
"No one may hold on to
what has been forever.
The moments that we had together,
they are forever lost to us for
death is real but so is life
and time and all the rest
of our sisters as well.
You must say goodbye to
the things that have been,
but you can gain the things that will be
if you come and change with us."
Anima appears and says this to Talura
and looks at Penny in her hand,
feels her blood.
Ostentatia pulls.
Sam, it is your turn.
You are floating in the feeling of death.
You feel the heat of the fire behind you.
You are called back but you
are here in the place of death,
and you see that Talura's form here
is just another aspect.
And for the first time due
to your courage to reach out
to this thing that is the source of fear
for every living thing,
you see past the aspect
that Talura is so attached to
and see the infinite behind it
and it is terrified.
[somber instrumental music]
"I don't want to go."
- Talura,
you, of all beings, should know
that death is never the end.
More so for you than any other being.
Your sisters stand before you.
Do they look dead to you?
- "What if things are
never the same again?
What if we're never
together again like we were
at the beginning of time?
Everything was new and young."
And you hear the words
of her sister, Anima,
and you see another part
of her consciousness
hearing Penny's voice say,
"Don't hurt my sisters."
And she looks up again at you and goes,
"What is there to gain?
Everyone turned their back on this.
We could have found a way.
We could have found a way
to hold on to what we had."
- I go closer to her,
wrap my arms around her
even if her form is infinite.
In this place between life and death,
my spirit can encompass hers and I say,
"Sometimes change happens,
but it doesn't mean that it'll be worse
or that you can't find
joy in what happens.
And unless you try, you'll
never know what could be."
[Brennan mimics wind howling]
[thunder rumbles]
- The crackling of storm.
"Unless you try, you will
never know what could be."
All of the Eidolons repeat Sam's words
echoing through each of
them from time itself
through each of her sisters,
through the voice of Anima itself
and Danielle floating in the air.
A door of glowing warm and
welcoming bright light opens
in the shape of Ostentatia's hands
like a door to a scary but
exciting new adventure.
And you feel the warmth of that doorway
and you are still holding
Talura and she looks scared,
but she looks to you.
[soft instrumental music]
- You won't be without your
sisters, I promise you.
- And here the Eidolon looks at Penny,
and you see that the blood
red goes out of her eyes,
her fangs go back down and she
says, "And neither will you."
And she steps through
the doorway with you.
Sam you [gasps] awaken on the floor
under Ostentatia's healing.
[Persephone breathes heavily]
Penny, the Eidolon places you-
- Oh, I cast Feather
Fall on myself, I got it.
- You start to descend.
You see she looks at you
and says, "I'm sorry."
And looks at you, Danielle, and says,
"You promise it won't hurt?"
And you see that all of the
Eidolons in this space smile.
All of them look up to their
eldest sister, Chronoa,
and says, "We can't promise
that the future will never hurt,
but we can promise that if we're together
it will be worth it."
[Becca chuckles softly]
And Talura embraces
Danielle, Empress Anima, and
[mimics magical reverberations]
light and dark intertwine,
embrace, entangle, and the Eidolons
are released from this place.
Congratulations graduates
of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy.
- Oh my.
- Katja moves her braid.
[group laughing]
- I want to sh**t a
warning shot at one of the-
- Scrolls of GED just appear
in the air besides your heads.
[Brennan mimics scrolls sh**ting]
- I want to sh**t a warning shot
at one of the soldiers as they're leaving.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- And just say,
"My name is Antiope Jones,
and you tell everyone
that The Seven did this."
[players gasping]
- I send lightning bolts
that crackle around
Antiope as she says this.
- Silent image of hearts and stars.
- It's getting weird behind me, isn't it?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- It's with less cool?
- You see the soldier, the soldier says,
[pants] "Uh, we got a big problem," and-
♪ As go on, we remember ♪
- Absolutely cannot sing that.
- Nope, nope, we're gonna get money.
♪ All the times we had together ♪
- And that's 30 seconds, yeah.
- Just bleep it all out.
Cut the whole section out.
[players laughing]
- Incredible, triumphant
as the Eidolons scatter.
each of you having
received their blessings.
The Empress Anima and
of course as her form
is finally left behind to
step forward into a new phase
of existence with the sadness
and sorrow of that departing,
the final blessing of Talura
as she kisses you on the cheek
and says, "So few have
ever taken a chance on me.
I know what it means to
find something worth saving
in something as frightening as me,
and I will never forget
the chance you took."
- You'll always be my friend,
Talura, and I love you.
- "I love you.
I will be with you, but
I hope in another way
that I don't see you for a
very long time, my love."
You hear she looks at Danielle and says,
"Be with my sister for
many years to come."
Vanishes from this place.
The blessings of the Eidolons collected.
What an adventure.
You see the skies part
and from the clouds above
a rope ladder lowers and
you see at the end of it,
Cinnamon.
- Cinnamon.
[group laughing]
[players clapping]
- Called it?
- [Persephone] Yes!
- I love the love.
- Why, Cinnamon!
- She says, "Everyone aboard
the Rombosa, drinks are ready."
- Oh my God, everyone hop on Cinnamon.
- Mimosas on the Rombosa?
- "Rombosa mimosas for all!"
- Yay!
- Yay!
- Oh, is Candyheart there?
- Candyheart, "Hi, it's
me, I'm back here."
- Wait, I have a question.
- Ssh, I'm sorry, just shh.
- Did you feed me to a man?
[players laughing]
- What did it feel like?
- How much did you see?
- We know what it looked like.
- "How did it feel to die?"
- No, how did it feel to be sh*t out?
- "Oh, that's normal."
[Persephone laughing]
- I told you it was fine!
- Hey wait, Ostentatia,
what do you think about Starforge?
- About what?
- Your horse!
- [Persephone] Your horse!
- I used to be a star
before I was a horse.
- I f*cking forgot about that. [laughs]
- Okay, fine, and I pull out $60.
[Brennan laughing]
- You emerge and fly
aboard this massive airship
that is now yours?
- [Players] Yeah!
- Maiden Voyage.
- [Aabria] Maiden Voyage.
- Wait, wait!
- [Brennan] Yes.
- Candyhorse, come here.
- Candyheart!
- Yeah, Candyhorse, I want to
see what my new dagger does.
- "Oh, sure!"
- Wait!
- You stab the horse, the horse dies.
- Stop it!
- [Becca] Oh no, Candy!
- And as Candyheart dies and says,
"Oh, do you have the identify spell?"
- Oh, I switched it out. [laughs]
- No! [sobs]
- Candyheart vanishes.
- Wait, get the candy hearts!
- What do they say this time?
- This time they say, I get it.
- As I am putting the candy
hearts that say, I get it
into my fanny pack,
there's not enough room
so I pull out a brown
fuzzy ball and toss it.
- Koda reappears and goes,
"Uh, you k*ll horse again?"
- Yeah.
- "Yeah, that's gonna happen."
- What does my dagger do?
- Once per short rest, as a reaction,
when you are moved against
your will you can teleport.
So it's matching
Kurraghran's teleport ability
so basically if you were
ever thrown or knocked aside
or pushed into something
you just teleport 30 feet
somewhere else.
- All right.
- [Brennan] So there you go.
- [Persephone] Nice.
- [Aabria] That's very cool.
- RIP.
- [Persephone] It's very cool.
- RIP Kurraghran.
Cool magic item.
- RIP Candyhorse.
- RIP Candyhorse.
- Oh, RIP.
[Rekha sobbing]
- [Aabria] It's not Candyhorse.
- Yes, it is Candyhorse.
- [Aabria] All right, that's fair.
- It's redundant to call
him Candyhorse. [laughs]
- So aboard the Rombosa,
flying back to Solace
where you have been you see
Tectonya claps and smiles
and says, "How extraordinary."
- Hey, did you do anything? [laughs]
- [Becca] Yeah, did you
have a nice afternoon?
- [Aabria] Did I get any texts?
- You see that she looks
and says, "Look over there."
And you see that there are
just dozens of burning aircraft
throughout the Necronomikron.
- Oh!
- [Aabria] Tight.
- And she's like, "Oh yeah,
the Ministry doesn't f*ck around.
They didn't come to just
like, bring 30 people.
You know, they really
came to k*ll you all."
- Did you let some go so
they could tell everyone
how cool Antiope was?
- [Brennan] "Well, I assume some of your-
- It was all of us!
- Well, yeah.
- The message was about us
- Antiope's message about us.
- How do you feel about conservationism?
- I feel very positive
about conservationism.
- Great, Kevins, we should
add her to the group chat.
- "Oh, yes, of course."
- [Aabria] Speaking of group chat-
- "It's very important
to conserve these things
because of course nothing
in reality is truly real."
- All right, Tectonya.
- Ugh, weird.
- [Becca] I get it.
- We've had a big f*cking day.
- [Aabria] You're a weird girl.
- Could I categorize all
of your notes. [giggles]
- Would you like to look at my notes?
- I just, I'll type them
for you into crystal.
I don't know if they're longhand.
- [Brennan] "Absolutely, yes."
- Can I, go ahead.
- I, no, you.
I got a question.
- [Brennan] "Yes."
- You know the big copper book
in the library in the school?
- Great question.
- Oh right, the S&M book.
- [Brennan] "Oh yes, I do."
- The S&M book.
- Okay, so next to that there
was a book with a muzzle.
Is that book a horse?
- "Is the book with a muzzle a horse?"
- Or what is it if it isn't a horse?
- "A book."
- What's in it?
- "Ah, devastatingly secret knowledge."
- Let's go open it!
- Let's go!
- Hey, I want my phone back.
- "Oh, sure, here you go."
- And I give her the Legendarium.
- "Ah, the Legendarium Extrordia.
I'll go hide this back
in that temple again."
- What?
- "What, oh wait a minute."
- [Isabella] Only we know that.
- "Did Ms. Charity Blythe make it out?
Is she still around or not?"
- Oh, abso-f*cking-lutely not.
- Antiope k*lled her,
you should have seen it!
Bam, bam, bam!
- Every time she took a step,
she shot another arrow, she's dead.
- As she was walking
like what you, what you-
- Yeah!
- What you dream about
in your wet dreams.
- Antiope is open-mouth crying
while you guys describe her.
- In your nightmare wet dreams.
- Everyone do their
Charity dying impression.
[Rekha blows raspberry]
- Oh no, I'm dying.
Oh, look how gaunt my face is.
- Wait, wait, wait.
I alter self into Charity
but dead. [gurgles]
- [Brennan] "Wow, look at that."
- Yeah, just like that.
- That, oh, but stupider.
- Honestly, you're doing
it like a little too hot.
- Yeah, Sam's hotness is shining through.
- Fine, fine, I'm sorry.
- You can't even not do it.
- [Persephone] It's been a while
since I acted, I turn back.
- "Incredible work, all of you.
And congratulations on achieving
your General Education
Development or GED for short."
- [Persephone] That GED.
- You see she looks at
all of you and says,
"I have an idea for where
we might go to celebrate."
- Oh my God!
[Becca cheering]
- Slappy McFinnigan's!
[players cheering]
- Contractually, we have
to go to Smashburger.
[Brennan laughing]
- I find the centaur waiter.
- Yeah.
- [Aabria] Oh.
- [Isabella] No!
- He sees you, so first
of all, a massive airship
pulls in over Bastion City,
rope ladder comes down.
A bunch of horses have a hard time
getting down the rope ladder.
- [Isabella] But they do it.
- [Aabria] But they do it.
- I put my hands behind my back
so he doesn't have to worry.
- No...
- I just have to apologize.
You don't to forgive me,
I just have to apologize.
- "Okay," give me a persuasion check.
[Erika laughing]
- [Becca] Persuasion.
- Can I do with advantage 'cause I-
- Bardic Inspiration.
- Bardic Inspiration, do
it with advantage, yeah.
- [Aabria] Yeah!
- [Becca] The entrance.
- And I'm doing it with
advantage 'cause I'm cute?
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah,
yeah, for sure, go for it.
- [Aabria] You're so cute.
- Okay, 19 plus what?
- 1d6.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- [Persephone] And then add your charisma.
- Plus four so 19 plus four,
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Which is one, 25.
- No, look at persuasion.
- Oh sorry, persuasion.
I'm so sorry, persuasion, +5.
- [Aabria] Ooh, yeah.
- Wow!
- Okay, so,
you don't have to forgive
me, I'm just sorry
and I've been thinking about it a lot.
- [Becca] That's 30.
- And on my way and I put
$40.000 in the tip jar.
- "What?"
[Erika chuckles]
- Yeah.
- "What's up?"
- I put $40.000 in the tip jar.
- You know, my family's like,
not doing great right now.
[players laughing]
- You see he looks and is like-
- [Isabella] I've always been poor!
- He's like, "All right,
well, let's get you guys
some blooming onions, huh?"
- Yay!
- Yes!
- So you all take a seat.
He's like, "Yeah, 40."
- [Rekha] Katja loves onions.
- Whatever feelings I had
about whatever happened,
it was not to the tune of
$40.000 so we're good."
- I take one whole blooming
onion. [mimics biting]
- [Aabria] Aah, those onions.
- Nice, nice, you see-
- Who cooked this?
- Whoa!
- Go for it, go for it.
- Should we vibe check this?
What's up, I wanna know what's up.
- Do I roll performance?
- What did you roll on
your persuasion check?
- 30, it was a 30.
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- 'Cause it was +11.
- 30, that's like divinity level, right?
That's like-
- Oh, thank you.
[players laughing]
- Yeah, you see he goes,
he says, "Hey, no problem.
You can call me Joe, it's fine.
I'll take care of you guys."
- That is the most beautiful
name I've ever heard.
- That's all of my uncles' names.
[group laughing]
- Lysander is sitting beneath the table
shining my shoes, by the way.
- That's what he was doing?
- [Erika] Shining your shoes.
- I did not think that's
what he was doing.
- He loves to shine shoes,
I let him go for it.
- [Persephone] He was shining two things.
- He's been shining
something for a long time.
- A long time.
- That's right.
- Incredible, you all see
Tectonya looks and says,
"Marvelous job saving
literally all of reality.
That was extraordinary.
Not only extraordinary
adventuring and spellcraft
but also extraordinary choices made
to stand up for yourselves
when it needed doing,
to be violent and unhinged
when the time called
to be violent and unhinged,
and also to be understanding and wise
when the time came to be
understanding and wise.
It is a beautiful thing that
you have not only saved reality
but also afforded the
ability for yourselves
to continue on in this fashion
if this is what you wish.
And it seems," and here she gestures
to Antiope's phone that she was holding.
She's like, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop,
but I saw that last text
so it seems like we're all doing it?"
- Well, maybe from now on we
sort of play things by ear.
[Becca gasps]
- [Persephone] yeah.
- Ostentatia.
- And you see that as you
say that Zelda looks up-
- Oh, can I just?
- [Brennan] Oh sorry yeah, go.
- I want to throw that
compliment right back at you,
but you know what?
I think we should all
just roll around in it.
- [Brennan] "Yes, roll
around in the compliment.
Roll around in it."
- As Rekha's therapist says.
- Who?
[group laughing]
- [Becca] Who's that?
- You actually see,
Ostentatia, as you say
that Zelda looks up at-
- Zelda, hey!
- "Hey we did it!
We saved reality!
God, that would have been so stressful
if we didn't save reality."
- Yeah, Sam saved your life.
- "Thanks, Sam."
- I couldn't do anything else.
- You see she smiles and says,
"I'm really glad that
you reached out to death.
That was a beautiful thing to do and-
- Even though I caused the end
of all reality potentially?
- But we got our GEDs.
- "You know, Sam,
like, sometimes things are a mess.
And sometimes you need to make a mess
so that you can get you and
all your friends their GED,
k*ll a corrupt Ministry official
who's been plotting to create
more problems in the world,
and also have someone
who's been very lonely
for a long time find their family again.
I think that's pretty good, Sam."
- Yeah.
- You hear the doors swing
open and a fire Genasi
with very chunky glasses
walks in and goes,
"Sorry, I hope it was okay
'cause I know that we did the
sort of find a friends thing,
but I saw you were at Slappy McFinnigan's.
Hello, in town."
- [Persephone] Lola, hi.
- "Can I book you back in or
are you still booked out?"
- [Persephone] Uh, um, uh...
- Do it!
- But we have...
- It's okay.
- We can do both.
- Listen, you can audition
remotely and then, you know,
we'll go into Bastion if-
- Do movies, not shows.
- Oh yeah, okay.
- Yeah, you see that Zelda
looks over at Penny and is like,
"Penny, that was your, like,
the world can put two
choices in front of you
and you don't have to do them both.
You can put those two things together.
Like, we're not gonna be
questing all the time.
Like, even the biggest
adventuring parties have downtime.
And if it doesn't conflict
with your schedule, like..."
You see Lola looks at
you and says, "Oh, hon,
I work with other people
that are adventurers.
If you have a first priority,
which is world saving,
but we can book you out for
like, you know, a couple weeks.
We could have production work around you.
Especially also, if you're
interested in singing more
'cause I represent singers too, so..."
- I want to do it all.
- "Yes, we love to hear."
- She's a triple threat!
[players affirming]
- [Aabria] Actor, singer, and martyr.
- I want to do all of it, dammit!
- [laughs] Yeah, actor, singer and martyr.
- [Persephone] Give me everything.
- Lola says, "Yes, it's
what I love to hear, okay."
- Look at this b*tch, she's
so all over the place.
I mean, she's like, over
the top, this f*cking-
- "I'm over the top?
Honey, are you wearing your
own initials on your belt?"
[players laughing]
- Great point.
- Oh, have you met,
Lola, have you met Ostentatia Wallace?
- [Aabria] Wallace.
- She's one of the hottest
upcoming designers right now.
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- Oh, you want to get all
your clients in her stuff.
- Like, I will not be wearing anyone else
on my first red carpet or second or third.
- [Becca] Oh, just say all of them.
- "Honey, we're gonna talk.
By the way-
- Am I related to you?
- "I have a Bastion City accent."
You see she looks at you and
says, "Oh my God, what is this?
I love this, am I getting a smell
of like what is that, cinders, ember?
Are you a Forge Cleric?
Honey, I love it.
My grandfather was a forge.
Listen, the important thing is..."
[players laughing]
- Amazing.
- So you're like 1/32?
- "Uh, 1/8, thank you.
No, how many is a grandpa,
listen, the point is this."
- We don't want get
into blood quantum here.
- Yeah, you see she looks at you and says,
"We'll talk". As dinner continues,
- Can I slip away?
- [gasps] Oh my God.
- From Lysander?
- Nobody notices probably.
- We 100% notice.
- Incredible, Penny-
- [Aabria] 100%.
- You hop up and slip away.
Where do you slip off to?
- I start to write a
handwritten letter to Laertes
of the Society of, I won't say.
- Yeah.
[Aabria chuckles]
- As you do so, you hear a voice.
There is a plastic snowman decoration-
- Don't you f*cking dare!
[players laughing]
Why is there a plastic snowman
at Slappy O'Finnigan's?
- Because it's one of
those places that's got
all the tacky decorations.
- [Aabria] I hide from this.
- Saying O'Finnigan's
instead of McFinnigan's.
- [Rekha] Is it O or-
- Yeah, it's Slappy McFinnigan's.
- Oh my God, I'm sorry.
I'm being sponsored by
the wrong restaurant.
- You see the snowman
turns to you and says,
writing a letter, are we?
- What?
- [Aabria] Stupid.
- How long have you been there?
- I've been here for however long its been
since the last time we spoke.
[plastic head unscrewing]
[grunts] Hold on.
- I don't think you should tell me that.
- Oh.
- It makes it less cool.
- Oh, okay, I've been here, you know what?
In any case, the Society of
Shadows won't be kept waiting.
- Shadows, hm?
- Won't be kept waiting.
- Kept waiting.
- Are you repeating what I'm saying?
- No, I'm saying it at
the same time as you
because I know everything
you could offer me.
- Well, it's too bad 'cause
I already know what you know.
- I know that you know
nothing about what I could do.
- Then if I don't know what you could do
then how did I predict
that you would do this?
- You would do this. [laughs]
- Yes, and I knew you would repeat me
'cause you repeated me so I did
know what you were gonna do.
- You're good.
- You're good.
- What is?
- Listen,
are you joining the
Society or what's going on?
- Uh...
- He's covered in sh*t and vomit.
- Still, he ain't taken a bath?
- Hold on, hold on.
I look at him dead in the eyes
and I slowly unzip my fanny pack.
- Yes b*tch, yes, yes, yes.
- Oh, no, no, no!
- Yes, yes, yes.
- [Brennan] Okay...
- About... [clears throat]
- [Rekha] Yes!
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] Okay.
- [Becca] In one hand-
- Is he gonna voluntarily do this again?
- You see-
- [Rekha] Wait, cast illusion
and make 'em cookies or something.
- Oh, shh, ah.
- You reach into your fanny pack.
- In one hand I have a
fist full of candy hearts,
but it's closed fist and in the other
I grab a furry ball
from my ball of tricks.
- You see he goes, "Okay,
so I'm being presented
with a choice here or what's going on?
[Becca laughs]
[players laughing]
What's sort of the story
here, what's going on?
[Erika giggling]
- [Rekha] Okay, yeah, bring it on.
- If you want me, I don't
know if you've heard rumors
of how elite of a rogue
I really, truly am,
but if you want me for
your elite organization
that no one knows the name of.
- "No one
No one knows the name
of the Society." [gulps]
[players laughing]
- Did you just?
- "Nope."
- You almost-
- "Did what, what did you say?"
- We're inside of-
- "Listen, what's the choice
you're presenting to me?"
- [clears throat] If I get
you to eat a candy heart,
then I can join without your stupid rule
that I have do a memory
spell on everybody I know.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- My f*cking god...
- So you can eat what's in my left hand.
It's Candyheart.
Or you can eat what's in
my right hand. [chuckles]
- "And if I eat what's in your right hand,
you join and follow the rules?"
- It's confusing.
- [laughs] We could look at
a contract and see maybe.
- "Well, the joke's on you
because I've already eaten them both."
[players laughing]
- That's incredible!
- [Rekha] Oh no, oh no!
- That's incredible!
- "Your second thing was
really fuzzy, what was that?"
- Hold on, let me tell you.
- Really fuzzy.
- I'll tell you!
- "Well, what is the second one?"
- Let me tell you, okay, it's...
- [Aabria] Don't do this to me!
- "What was the second one?
- Don't do this to me, please!
- 'Cause it felt like a fuzzy, little ball
but somethings happening
in my body right now."
- Oh, because that fuzzy ball
is now sprouting feathers and a beak?
- "Why was it furry fur since it's a bird?
[players laughing]
Oh, something's moving
in me, what did you do?"
- [Aabria] Luckstone strikes again.
- "Why weren't they both food?
What was the second one if
it was an eating contest?"
- What is it?
- It's an owl.
- "Why though?
[group laughing]
Why, why would you do that?"
- Can we be seeing this?
- Yeah, you guys see near the entry.
- [Isabella] 'Cause we all saw her go.
- A plastic snowman decoration
falls over and starts rolling
going, "Help, help, help, help, help!"
- I'm filming!
[players laughing]
- He says, "Why was the owl furry first?
If there's stuff that's
not fur, why would it?
Oh, oh, it's trying to fly!"
- I would like to [laughs]
cast invisibility on him and-
- Why?
- I cast Levitate on him, too.
[Brennan laughing]
- Didn't he also eat the candy hearts?
So he's also sh1tting an
invisible sh*t from the sky.
- It was the potion that makes-
- You see he says,
"Is there a doctor
here, is there a doctor?
I need to commit to trying to sh*t
or barf the owl out right now."
- I have skills in medicine.
Hey, Talk to Animals.
- [Brennan] Yeah. [laughs]
- Does this mean I can
join the Society of Shadows
and I don't have to
wipe my friends' memory
because they have to know everything I do,
and I'm also gonna adventure part time.
- You see he says, "You
can do whatever you want!
You agree, you agree, my name is Laertes.
I'm part of the Society of Shadows.
Someone please help me!"
- Oh my God.
- You guys, I got accepted
into an elite, super secret-
- Yay!
- Yay!
- Congratulations!
- I'm so happy for you!
- An invisible plastic
snowman filled with sh*t
is bouncing around the ceiling
of Slappy McFinnigan's.
- My Nonna is doing a live react.
- The comments filled with
thousands of comments saying,
"What's the Society of Shadows?"
[players laughing]
- As the guy says,
"Please, I'm part of
the Society of Shadows.
Please call my guild representative.
Tell them I'm trapped in the
rafters sh1tting myself again."
- I cast Silence.
- No, stop, that's my boss.
- No, I like it.
- [Persephone] No it's
good, it's a secret society.
- Wait don't sh*t on,
Joe he's my new friend.
- You see Joe goes,
"Is something invisibly sh1tting in here?"
- Yes.
- [Brennan] "Okay."
- I'll protect you, I put my-
- Doing great little owl dude.
Fight the power.
- Yeah you see that you
hear an owl go like,
"Hey man, I'm trying to fly,
but I'm somewhere wet and small."
- Hey, that's where you
want to be, am I right?
- "What, oh, word."
- Hi, it's me.
- "All right, let's go."
- You do my bidding.
Hi, I'm Penny.
- "Hi, what's your bidding?
What do you want me to do?"
- You can just, uh, eject
yourself from Laertes' butthole.
[Brennan sighs]
If you find it.
- [Aabria] If you can find it.
- [Persephone] A different
hole if you need.
- "All right."
You see the owl goes,
"Okay, well, there's a lot
of foaming candy stuff
in here, let me see.
Oh you know what?
I got it, let's go turbo
mode, I'm out of here."
You hear a loud noise of the
owl following the command
to get out of there as fast
as possible and you hear a
[screams] from Laertes followed by a thud
as the snowman falls to
the ground and breaks
and followed by a, "I need
to be taken to the hospital."
[Aabria laughing]
- We can give you a ride in our airship.
- "Okay, please do that
as soon as possible."
You see here Joe say, "We
got some more blooming onions
coming out of the kitchen
and some entrees as well."
- Oh, I'll hit him with a Cure Wounds
just to keep him stable.
- Thank you.
- We have more blooming onion.
- Do you want a blooming onion first?
- "I like that, I'm not opposed to that."
- Thank you.
- Oh my God.
- "Not opposed to that."
Incredible.
- So like yeah, I got in, huh?
- I'm so proud of you!
- You got into the Society of Shadows!
- You did it!
- Congrats!
- That worked out well.
- Incredible.
- Somehow I was less mean to my boss
than you are being to yours.
[Becca laughing]
- He made all the decisions.
- You're right, you
know, he wanted to enter
an eating contest for whatever reason
and didn't listen to the
rules and ate both the things.
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- And now Candyheart is still in his body.
- Penny, you enter the Society of Shadows
during a really rough, you
get an email on your phone
saying, hi, welcome to
the Society of Shadows.
We're so happy to have you.
Rough patch in the Society's history.
Everyone knows who we are now.
- Don't look us up on
any video search engine.
- Video search engines
or anything like that.
Exiting the chaos of Slappy McFinnigan's,
you all return to Elmville
where that evening the Rombosa
files in over Elmville,
the Rombosa's like-
- The what?
- What's that?
- The what?
- The Rombosa.
- [Persephone And Aabria] The what?
- You mean-
- [Brennan And Players] The Maiden Voyage.
- Thank you.
- The Maiden Voyage
flies in over Elmville.
- We all got wheels.
- We ghost ride the whip,
just levitating next to it.
- Absolute chaos while driving. [laughs]
- Just some alums showing
up to our alma mater.
- Yeah, crash.
- I will give you any amount
of money to let us do the
slow motion hallway walk.
- You airship in,
and there's a ton of
freshmen and sophomores.
You come in, you party through the night
at Slappy McFinnigan's, get some rest,
and cruise north towards Elmville.
The following morning it's
like sophomores and freshman
are all out and see like,
"Whoa, look at that!"
Huge airship coming in and you descend
with your beautiful horses and Tectonya,
the various boos, Lysander,
Michel Parnassus who's like,
"I had a home and a life in the Baronies.
Should I return to that
or do I live here now?"
- You're gonna have to
figure it out, I guess.
- Sorry.
- You better earn your keep.
- Thank you, girl.
- [Persephone] You're welcome.
- You see Arthur Aguefort walks out
as you sort of depart
from this hovering airship
in one of the descent
craft and says, [laughs]
"Do I now bespy a graduated
adventuring party?"
- You do.
- Yes.
- "Congratulations to the
Seven Maidens on your-
- Take us to the book!
[players laughing]
- You see he says, "Quickly, everyone!"
You see he timestops the school.
No reason, just boom.
- Shirts off!
- [Brennan] Shirts off.
[players cheering]
- I'm wearing an identical
shirt underneath.
- Tectonya starts sprinting and she says,
"Arthur, so lovely to see you again."
- Girl's gettin' it and we knew it.
- I wanna roll insight,
did they f*ck, too?
- [Aabria] Oh, 100%.
- Give me an insight check,
DC five.
[players laughing]
- [Isabella] DC five, nat one.
- Uh, that's barely more than a five,
but it's more than five.
- Yeah, they did, for sure, absolutely.
- Okay, cool.
- For sure.
I would like to fist bump.
- Yeah, Tectonya says,
"Oh, we're going in for some dap.
Yes please, there you are."
- Yeah, let's, respect.
- [Becca] Pass that.
- And you see-
- [Aabria] Yeah, pass it out.
- [Becca] Pass it.
- Pass it, pass it, pass
it, pass it, pass it.
And you see Arthur goes,
[laughs boisterously]
"To be objectified by my former students
in my own school, an honor!"
And you see you-
- I'm riding the owl.
[players laughing]
- The wet owl.
- Yeah, your wet rectum owl.
- Yo.
- Whatever, Prestidigitation.
- And in the corner we
named the owl Prolapse.
[Brennan laughing]
- [Aabria] Yeah.
- She's saying, "We."
- And by that I mean me.
- Incredible.
- Lapsy!
- [Persephone] Lapsy.
- Lapsy, I like Lapsy.
- [Persephone] Lapsy.
- You go down to the secret library.
You see that the book
is taken off the shelf
and Arthur looks and says,
"You're sure you want me to open it?"
- Yeah, are you kidding me?
- [Isabella] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, more than anything.
- He undoes the latch of
the book, the book- [spits]
- [Isabella] The book gag?
- Yeah, the ball gag.
[spits] The book spits
out the ball gag and goes,
"Hey, how's it going?"
- Put it back in.
- Danielle puts it back.
- [Becca] Oh, hi.
- I'm full of jokes!
- Oh no!
- [Persephone] No!
- No wonder-
- I told you!
- This is a joke book written by a man.
No wonder it's so dangerous.
[players groaning]
- That is like, the guide to best improv.
[Brennan laughing]
- Written by Joe Blowgan?
[group laughing]
- [growls] Let me spread my wickedness.
[Rekha groans]
The book goes back.
- [Becca] He's silenced.
- Arthur comes back out and
says, "How extraordinary.
Well," you see he says,
"Tectonya, are you back in Solace again?"
She's like, "Yes, the woman
who was trying to k*ll me
was m*rder*d by some of
your finest students."
And you see that he looks
at you, Antiope, and says,
"How delightful, you've
m*rder*d a government official
in the name of adventure."
- Danielle is like, that's my friend!
- I love you.
- We all hug.
- f*ck systems of power!
- Arthur looks at you and
says, and cries a little bit.
- Oh, baby.
- He says,
"Exactly what I always wanted
for you, darling Antiope.
Ah, very well, well," he says,
"We are not going to have
some of our finest pupils graduate
even with a General Education Development
without a graduation ceremony!"
- [Aabria] Let's go.
- And you see he claps
and an impromptu, he just fabricates
a bunch of mortarboards and robes.
- I put my shirt back on.
- That evening your families arrive.
The Joneses are there,
all the Luckstones come.
- They're all, they always
stand in height order.
- I love it.
- [Persephone] Oh no.
- I keep trying to like, move them.
- Winona and Alyria are there.
The Wallace family is there as well.
And you see driving in
is Rebecca Everpetal and her sister.
You see that she goes up and says,
"Got the alert on my phone.
I wouldn't have missed it for anything."
- Mom, thank you.
- She gives you a kiss.
- Katja, ooh, sorry, go ahead.
- [Brennan] Go for it, yeah.
- I was gonna say, Katja's poking around.
She kind of sits on the curb.
- He's coming.
- [Rekha] Just waiting.
- In a flash of light, [mimics
magical reverberations]
the wizard Gelgador
appears without your dad.
- Oh, Gelgador.
- "Katja, hello, it's a pleasure.
Well, the quest was a success. [laughs]
Is everything all right?"
- Yeah, it's just, it's my
graduation and, you know,
my dad said he would try to make it
so I thought maybe he'd be here.
- "Oh, well, your father
is not coming with me."
- Oh...
- "He quit the adventuring
party yesterday."
[players gasp]
You look over by Arthur
Aguefort and see wearing
like a little kind of equestrian
sweater with some boots,
your dad turns and walks
over to you and says,
"Well, uh, did you save everything
and everybody there, sweetheart?
- Yeah, I k*lled an Eidolon, Dad.
- "And that's what I'm talking about!"
- I give him the biggest
hug in the f*cking world.
- You do the biggest, biggest
hug ever, swings you around.
And you see he says,
"Well, listen, you know,
I've been a bonehead and a
dumbass, but here's the thing.
I know you and your friends
are gonna be adventuring
and you got Society of Shadows
and everything like that.
And Sam's gonna be
acting and all that and-
- Wait, wait, what did you call her?
- "What's that?"
- What did you call her?
- He said my name.
- "Sam..."
- You didn't call her Meghan.
- Wait, what's everyone's name?
- You see he looks over at Gelgador.
Gelgador literally has his spellbook open
to the Modify Memory spell
and gives a little thumbs up
to his old buddy, Karl and
says, "We'll miss you, Karl."
And smiles and gives you a pat
on the shoulder and he says,
"That's right," he goes, "Sam Nightingale,
Ostentatia Wallace, if you
prefer, Danielle Barkstock.
Which is, that's a combo last name, right?
It's like, one mom's Hempstock,
the other one's Barksdale."
- Yeah.
- "Penny Luckstone of course."
You see he says, "And
of course Antiope Jones.
I know your mom and dad from way back."
You see he says, "Zelda Donovan of course,
but the really important one, of course,
Cinnamon, Taffodil."
[players gasping]
- Yo, let's go, yes!
- "Starforge, Snowfire,
Elegonia," he says,
"Candyheart and of course
who could forget Strawberry Dancer?"
- Now I give my dad the
biggest hug in the world.
- [Players] Yeah!
- You give him the
biggest hug in the world.
He says, "And I know that I've...
I know I missed a lot
of good years and, um,
you know, you're graduated.
You can do whatever you want,
but I want to pitch y'all on something.
If Skullcleaver Manor can do anything
to serve the Seven Maidens
as the new premier,
fully professional
adventuring party of Solace,
I'm gonna get the staff together
and we're gonna make sure
that you are outfitted,
that you have potions, that
you have what you need.
I'm gonna be your man in the van, okay?
Whatever you-
- Sponsorship! [claps]
- "Whatever you and
your pals need to shine,
we're gonna be there to get it for you
so that's on Karl Cleaver."
- A stage dad.
- Oh my God, it's like a little incubator.
- You don't want a stage dad.
- I don't want a stage dad.
He won't be one.
- [Persephone] So you just want a dad.
- Can we call you Karl?
- "Please, oh, you're
gonna call me Mr. Cleaver?
Call me Karl, come on.
Hey, we're all in the
world-saving business.
You're all gradumates, come on now, hey."
- Did he say "gradumates"?
- Yeah.
- Can I call him future husband?
- Absolutely not, dad, [laughs] hard no!
I had a question, too.
- [Brennan] "Yeah."
- I mean, more than just
driving the van, you know,
like, you know, we lost a
lot of good years and like,
would you be sort of like a
scout leader or something?
You know, just kind of
teach me what you know.
- You see he says, "Hey kiddo,
you want some one-on-one time
with your old man to spar, you got it."
- I wanna fight you.
- You see he says, "I want
to fight my little girl."
And he gives you a big
hug, gives you a big-
- You should seriously be careful.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait,
actually, um, I bring my mom over
to meet Karl Cleaver.
[Erika gasps]
And introduce him to...
- Oh no.
- A recently divorced lady Everpetal.
- You see she comes over and she goes-
- I thought you meant your mom, mom.
- Oh no, I said my mom, not the
b*tch that gave birth to me.
- Gotcha.
- Respect.
- You see that she looks over and says,
as you bring Rebecca over she looks over
and as you're about to
introduce her she looks at you
and realizes that you're
about to introduce her
as Rebecca Everpetal and
looks at you and goes,
"Uh, oh, Karl, you're Katja's dad.
I know Katja, I'm Sam's
mom, Rebecca Nightingale."
[Persephone gasps]
- [Players] Aw!
- Oh my God!
[Erika panting]
- [Brennan] And she rubs your shoulder.
- [Persephone] Oh my God!
- [Brennan] You just
get a big hug and she-
- [Persephone] f*ck.
- And you see she talks to and she says,
"It's so lovely to meet you, Karl.
I know that you live in
Skullcleaver Manor over here.
That's so lovely, I'm
staying with my sister
over in Ashgrove in a little apartment."
And you see Karl looks
over and says, "Well hell,
you know, we got a
guesthouse and a garden house
and a pool house and you
know, if you're looking,
I mean, 'cause Sam stays with you, right?"
And you see that Rebecca
looks and says, "Well..."
- I cast Suggestion on Karl.
- [laughs] Yes.
What do you say to Karl?
- Date.
- You see he goes, "Date,
yeah, any date's good for me,
whenever you want to move in."
[players laughing]
- [Aabria] Karl...
- With a man, hold on.
- I don't think you need to.
- [Brennan] Yeah, I
think Sam, you see this-
- Yeah, I think I'm
good, I think I'm good.
- You see he says, "So yeah."
He says, "If it's good with Katja.
Would you be okay if Sam
and her and her family?"
- I'm so okay with Sam.
The idea of you dating
scares me because it means
someone's replacing what's
not even a slot in your life
and that makes me question myself,
but if I've learned anything
it's that change can be
scary, but it is good.
- He smiles and says, "You
don't ever have to worry
about anyone taking your place, okay?"
You see he smiles and says,
"And you know, your life is,
I want to say this too, kiddo.
Your life is bigger than
me, and it was wrong of me
to ask you to come join
my adventuring party.
I've had a lot of time in the limelight,
but too much by a lot of measures.
I've gotten into scraps.
I coulda called it a long time ago
and I've had more fun
than almost anyone I know.
Your life is bigger than me, too.
So if we can make sure that your friend,
Sam, we got, oh you know what?
That little ivy house.
I've gotta talk to Lockwood.
They got great, the
sheets in there are great.
I sometimes, I come back from
adventuring with a little,
I'll just crash in there.
I kind of like the beds in there
more than my bed, I tell you,
but you'll be good there?"
- Oh yeah, definitely.
- "Well, great!
Well then, we'll be a big old party.
We'll have a big, old campfire.
Oh, we get at a campfire.
We have a couple campsites on the property
so we can get that going."
- I'm going to have a sister!
[Persephone cheering]
[players laughing]
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- Can we move
the whole Luckstone tiny
stone and tiny lean-to
just somewhere in the
corner of your property?
- I'm going to have 23 sisters!
[group laughing]
[players clapping]
- Incredible, incredible.
Yes, you see the Luckstones
all come over and they're like,
"Hey hon, okay, don't, play nice!
Hey, so congratulations.
Sweetie, we saw the Society of Shadows.
Incredible, and you saved
reality, that's amazing!"
- You saw that?
- "Yes.
We are so, so proud."
- Mom, but you were like,
working this week I thought.
You got my emails, right?
- "Honey, I get them all.
Of course I did, of course I did."
And you see she smiles.
And you look at a lot
of your younger siblings
who look up and start cheering for you
and saying, "Yay, Penny!"
And start to lift you up.
And you see in a big pile of your siblings
a lot of them turn to you and go,
"Now that you're like, all grown up,
you're gonna be out of
the house adventuring."
- Ah, oh...
- "We wanted to say something, too."
- You can talk?
- Yes, your siblings can actually talk.
- I'm just kidding, I know that.
- Katie looks at you and says.
This is, no, not Kelly.
- [Becca] Kelly.
- Kelly's in the corner going,
"I didn't think it was that cool."
[players laughing]
- You're four, you don't know anything!
- You see Katie, your
next oldest sibling says,
"I wanted to say a couple of
things which is just like,
you were gone for a little
while and I had a talk
with Billy and a couple other people,
like a couple of other of us sibs.
We were thinking, like-
- [Becca] What is it, what is it?
- "We're all getting pretty
old now and we were like,
we should help out around the house more
'cause like, Mom and
Dad are pretty stressed.
And I wanted to ask your
permission for something.
I don't know if we ever tell
you how much we look up to you.
If it's like, treading on your
toes or anything like that,
or it's like, I don't want to do the thing
that you want to do."
- Wow, you sound like
such a Zelda right now.
- "Sorry..."
- You didn't even ask yet.
- "I was just gonna say, um...
[warm instrumental music]
I want to do more to
help around the house,
and I want to do more to
make life easy for all of us
and I was thinking that
maybe one of the ways
I could do that would be,
I would have always been too
scared to ask this before you,
do you think I could
transfer to Aguefort?"
- Oh, baby.
- Katie!
I can hook you up, come here!
And I spin her around.
- And she gives you a big hug
spinning around as Karl
talks to the Luckstones
and he's like, "We can move a house.
I mean, I know guys, I know
guys that can move a house."
- Pick up a whole f*cking house.
- [Brennan] [laughs] "Okay, I
know guys that move a house."
- Like a pancake and move it.
- No, and the giant stone.
- Your siblings come up to you.
Corsica, Prospero,
Ulysses, Ajax are all here.
You see Corsica looks at you
and says, [exhales sharply]
"What the hell, Ant?"
- Yo, right?
[Becca laughs]
- Did you k*ll a Ministry official?
- I k*lled the sh*t out of her.
- You see your mom and dad walk up.
Your mom, Athena looks at you.
[soft instrumental music]
- No, I'm gonna talk first, Mom.
[players gasp]
I love you so much, and
everything you guys did for me
was what you thought
was best and I get it.
And maybe I wasn't always my best for you,
but I appreciate you.
Also, Charity sucks so much
she almost stabbed me to death,
and then I did a m*rder on her
and you would have been so proud.
- Your mom looks at you,
having spoken first,
looks over at Hector and says,
"I don't, I don't have
a response to that."
And you see your dad looks
at you and she smiles
and your dad says-
- Please have him be jogging in place.
- No, is he in normal clothes?
- He's in normal clothes.
- Oh my God.
- He's dressed for graduation
and he's dressed up, he looks nice.
- Not like a tuxedo T-shirt?
- [Persephone] Oh my God.
- You see your dad and your
mom both look at you and say,
"We thought we wanted,
I thought I knew everything
that was best for you in life,
and your father and I delivered you
to the hands of a monster,
and I will not forgive myself
for that nor let myself..."
And you see your mom cries
here and you see she goes,
"Leadership is very hard.
And when you're leading a family
you don't ever want to let
people know when you're uncertain
because they're depending on you
to know what the right thing to do is.
And when you have a little
girl who seems lost,
you just want to feel
like you have all the answers for her."
- It's hard to be a leader,
and you did your best,
but you just gotta trust that
the people you're leading
also know what they're doing
and can be there to rally around you.
- She picks you up and she
just hugs you and says,
"I'm so sorry, and you
are so brave and clever
and cunning and brilliant,
brilliant, my brilliant daughter
I love with all my heart."
And you see your dad just
embraces the both of you and says,
"So proud of you."
- Y'all, we have been
arbitrators and foot soldiers
of institutional violence for a while,
and that's whole other conversation
we're gonna have to have
but this is good right now.
- Yeah, Danielle says, "I love you."
- I love you!
- You see that your mom and dad look
and see your dad says like,
"We saw the video of what Charity,
we saw the incredible Sam.
Your friend Sam is so talented.
We saw the viral video, amazing."
- Oh yeah, she crushed it.
- "Countering that spell, incredible."
You see he says, "Those were
Solesian soldiers doing that,
and that's unacceptable."
And your mother looks at you and says,
"After we celebrate your
incredible accomplishment,"
and you see she looks over at Hector,
and Hector looks at you and says,
"And perhaps one of the most important,
I would say historic additions
to the legacy of the Jones family."
She says, "You and me are gonna sit down.
I'm gonna make us some tea,
we're gonna get some snacks
and we are going to plot out
how we carve the rot out of Solace."
- Okay, I'd like that. [sniffles]
Now I want to talk about unions,
and I just give a little.
- [laughs] You look over at Ostentatia.
You look over and see
your Nonna comes over.
You see Nonna goes,
"Hello, this is Nonna."
- Yeah, Nonna!
I'm trying to get in the back of that.
- "I am here with-
- Nonna, put it down, I'm underage!
- She says, "What, okay," beep, and says,
"You are so beautiful, you graduate,
[smooches] graduate early."
You see your mom and dad walk over,
and you see your mom says,
"Sweetheart, incredible, incredible."
- Thanks, Mommy.
- "My little genius.
What, we have a egghead in
the family graduating early,
my little academic superstar."
- Who you calling an egghead?
- "It's a compliment, I'm
giving you a hard time."
- I look f*cking incredible.
- "You look gorgeous."
You see your dad says,
"I can't believe you saved
all of creation, huh?
That's my girl!
How you doing, you used those gems?"
- Mm-hmm.
- "I'm glad.
I'm glad, sweetheart."
You see he looks around and says,
"Listen, we can talk about it later,
but now that you're graduated, you know,
there's some houses we've
been looking at in Ashgrove
and other places that might
be a little smaller, you know?
It's less, we don't need
a huge house anymore.
And you know, we'll talk
about it another time,
but you know, there's not a lot
of mithral work anymore and um..."
- Have you looked recently?
- "What do you mean, looked recently?"
- For mithral...
- "Oh, well, this region,
you know, this is not,
I mean, the odds that there
would be mithral just here
in this climate, this part of the world.
You know, we kinda know where most
of the veins of mithral are."
- Uh-huh, I cast Commune With the City.
- A profound, gargantuan
vein of pure mithral
is running underneath some
of the suburban area over by the highway.
Like, a profound, profound
amount of mithral is there.
- But either way, you know,
I thought maybe we could
start a new project together.
First of all, I don't know
why we would buy a house.
We should make one.
Everything we make is amazing.
- He smiles and looks at you
and says, "I agree, sweetie."
- And I feel like, yeah,
I feel like we could start up
a new union if we want.
- "What kind of union are you,
what do you mean, start
up a union, sweetie?"
- So there were these cops...
[Aabria laughing]
- [Brennan] "Uh-huh."
- That were trying to k*ll us.
- [Brennan] "Oh, sh*t."
- And like, I feel like you
would be a really good
union head for adventurers.
- He sort of looks here.
He smiles.
[die tapping table]
He smiles and looks at you and says,
"I know a lot about the mithral business
and I know a lot about organizing a union
and protecting your workers,
but I don't know too
much about adventuring."
- Ipso flipso.
- "You know, maybe
Carmine doesn't have to be
the only Wallace that's
looking out for the family."
- [Rekha] Hm.
- And here he touches your arm and goes,
"You're strong, kid.
I'm sorry that I made that about me.
You're not just allowed
to protect this family,
it's beautiful that you
protect this family,
and I'm proud of you for doing that."
- I'm strong 'cause of you.
- He gives you a huge hug.
He says, "Yeah," he's like,
"crack the books open.
We can talk to some
organizers, some people.
It's long overdue
that there was an
adventurer's union here."
You see Tectonya and Arthur
both look over and say,
"Oh, a lot of people who
have talked about that
have been k*lled in the past."
And you see he says, "All
right, so we gotta be
a little dangerous to fly
under the radar, that's okay."
[Rekha chuckles]
You see he says, "We can
get a conversation started.
Dwarves are good at starting
things underground, you know?"
[players laughing]
And he smiles and actually
starts talking to you about,
like, he gets excited.
He starts talking to you
about the basics of doing that
and then stops and says,
"Wait, you mentioned something
about mithral, checking for
mithral under the town?"
- Oh yeah, you should look.
- [laughs] Amazing.
We cut away from the Wallace family
to the Hempstock-Barkstock-Barksdale
family.
Your two moms approach
you, smiling, and say,
"Ah, my darling sweetie, you did so well."
"So proud of you, my cactus
flower, you did so good."
- Yeah, 'cause we're all great.
I um, if possible, have
chilled out even more.
[players laughing]
- "Oh sweetheart, that's
honestly concerning.
I find that fully, fully concerning.
[warm instrumental music]
How are you feeling, sweetie,
at the end of all of this?"
- I...
I feel...
Good.
I feel good and I feel like...
It's very difficult.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- It takes, she fully sits
there for like a minute.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- You can hear the wind rustling.
Um...
I, I, I think that maybe
conviction and power
and selflessness might be, uh,
it might be sometimes I can
be a little selfish, you know?
I mean, it's okay for me
to be a little selfish.
Can you excuse me for a second?
I gotta talk to a friend of mine.
- "Sure, yes, darling."
- And I walk over to Zelda.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Hey, um...
- "Hey."
- How you doing?
- [Aabria] Hmm.
- "How am I doing?"
- Yeah, well...
I'm sorry, that was a bit of a deflection.
I'm sorry for...
This is hard, I'm still
learning, I'm sorry.
Um, [sighs] did you really
mean what you said all
when I was a tree?
- [sighs] "I think you love your...
I don't want it to be true,
but I'm scared that it is.
We saved the universe and
the world so we don't,
maybe I'm just stupid, I don't know."
- Hey, don't you say mean
things about my friend, okay?
- "When I said it, did any
part of it feel true to you?"
- Oh yeah, it totally resonated.
You have this total gift for like-
- "Feel it!"
And you see she screams at you and says,
"Don't academically deconstruct yourself!
I said some mean sh*t, I was hurt!"
- Yeah.
[Aabria cheers]
That kinda sucked, and
it really felt kinda bad.
- "To who, who did it feel bad to?"
- To me, Danielle.
- "Yeah, to you, Danielle, my friend.
I'm sorry, and I meant it,
and it was mean and it sucked
and it was bad and we're friends."
- Yeah, I love you so much, but
that really hurt my feelings
and it was pretty shitty.
And then last year the other time
when Ostentatia dated bird boy and stuff
even though I told her
that I liked him first
and so I got sloppy
seconds, that was sh*t!
And we see roots cracking the ground.
- Yeah, she's like,
"Come here, come here!"
- [Erika] Yeah, yeah, what the f*ck?
- And she gets a rock and
she comes over and she points
and it's a graduation so
there's a lot of students.
You see a bunch of the other
junior druid students are there
and she goes like, "Hey
you f*cking assholes,
it was rude as hell not to invite Danielle
to that f*cking druid thing!"
- Yeah, my God!
That was so shitty of you!
You coulda texted me at least once!
And I might have said no.
I probably would have said no!
- This b*tch could turn into a tree!
- Yo!
- And like, the crackling
root system goes. [crackles]
- The roots sh**t out towards them.
Druids [screams] panic and flee.
- f*ck you!
- f*ck you, f*ck you!
[players screaming]
- We k*lled gods!
- And Zelda sweeps you up and weeps
and puts her face into your neck and goes-
- Aw.
- That "f*ck you" opened
something in Danielle.
[Erika sighs contentedly]
It feels so good to just be like,
some people were rude to you
and there was no other cosmic
dimension to it than that,
and you can tell them
to go f*ck themselves
and it feels good and it
heals a part of the world.
The part of the world that it
heals is just your own heart.
- Man, everything's in balance.
- [laughs] And Zelda
kisses you on your cheeks.
- [Aabria] Hold on,
can I run over, you go.
- [Brennan] Yeah, I'm
sorry, yeah, go for it.
- I was gonna do that, I was
gonna put her ponytails down.
- Yeah, she puts them,
she puts it, Katja's like.
[group laughing]
- I want to run over after
you've had that moment,
and I took a little
jasmine from the carpet.
- Aw.
- When it originally ran down
and I want to druidcraft
it so it's alive again
and hand it to you and say,
"You did it, you felt it.
I'm so proud of you."
And I give you a kiss on
the cheek and run away.
- Aw.
- Can I grab everybody
and kind of pull everybody's hands in?
Hey, Maidens.
- [Persephone] Yeah.
- I feel like there's one thing
that we all need to say to each other.
I think you know what it is.
- Is it-
- I f*cking love you!
- [All] I f*cking love you!
- [Brennan] f*cking love you!
- I f*cking love you!
- As you all in a circle start saying,
"I love you, I love you, I love
you, I love you, I love you"
we see the announcement of your graduation
from Arthur and Tectonya.
Mortarboards fly into
the air in a chorus of,
"I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you."
- [Players] I love you.
- A mortarboard passes
in front of the camera
and that is all for
"Dimension 20: The Seven."
- Cinnamon, hit those turntables!
[Brennan mimics record scratching]
- Smash, bam, bam, smash, smash.
- Oh, this slaps.
- [Becca] Horse dancing!
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11x10 - I f*cking Love You
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.