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11x03 - Big City Connections

Episode transcripts TV show, "Dimension 20". Aired: September 26, 2018 – present.*
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.

11x03 - Big City Connections

Post by bunniefuu »

[dramatic instrumental music]

- In the world of Spyre
did prophecy foretell

that the dragon Kalvaxus
would rise to power

when once more were seven maidens chained

at the mouth of his cave.

What the prophecy could not predict

was what the seven had
in store for the world.

United by prophecy, bound by friendship,

the seven maidens would quickly become

one of Spyre's premier
parties of teen heroes

and all-star students at the
Aguefort Adventuring Academy.

Hello one and all.

Welcome back to another thrilling episode

of Dimension 20, "The Seven."

- I'm your humble dungeon
master Brennan Lee Mulligan.

With me as always are our
Heroic High Schoolers.

Say hi, Heroic High Schoolers.

- [Players] Hi, Heroic High Schoolers.

- Last we left off we were in Bastion City

facing down Charity Blythe, a bureaucrat

at the Ministry of Adventuring

and a worker for the Council of Chosen,

the government of the nation of Solace.

With our seven Heroic High Schoolers

trying to find out the mystery

of where did Tectonya Karkovnya,

the Superintendent of Schools
go to with this strange object

perceived in Sam Nightingale's
Mirror of the Past.

We saw her arrive fleeing from shadows,

perhaps metaphorical, perhaps legendary,

to an ancient dwarven temple.

Not deep underground but
instead high on the spires

of the Mountains of Chaos.

And we know that Tectonya
disappeared years ago

and that she's alive somewhere

because no new superintendent
has been chosen.

In order to graduate
as an adventuring party

the three junior members
of the Seven Maidens

must graduate, must achieve their GED

which we know means that they need

to complete a class A, B, or
C quest and get a sign-off

from the missing
Superintendent of Schools.

And yet another front opens
on the adventure which is,

do these friends believe that

that is the right thing for them to do?

Their friendship versus
the ever-looming presence

of the world beyond high school.

We return now to the
moment that we departed

at the end of our last episode

where in the midst of
Charity Blythe leaving

to return to work after
explaining the internship process

to a young Antiope Jones,
the hairs on Antiope's arms

and legs stood at attention.

The smell of something familiar,

and a face you've not
seen in almost two years

appears before you.

We return now under the
goofily displayed bones

of Kalvaxus, a dragon you all k*lled.

- Still hate him.

- And then a bunch of other draconic

and famous monsters from Spyre's history

just kind of suspended
here in this big museum.

You hear the echoing click-clack
of shoes on marble stone

in this giant cavernous room.

And we return to this moment, Antiope,

as the face disappears.

- Uh, it's a long name.
- End of All Things.

- Yep!
- Wait, where did you see her?

What does she look like?

Does she have a haircut?
- What?

- Should I cast Lightning
again at the skeleton?

- No!
- It was just an idea, just...

- Wait, where did you see
The End of All Things?

- She was just straight over there

and then she disappeared.

No one else caught that?

Sam, did you feel anything?
- Can I-

- Can I do a scan of the room?

- Oh, I was gonna, what's that?

- Just a-
- Looking around.

- Just looking.
- Like a skill check, yeah.

- Smell.
- With like eyeballs.

- Could I cast Commune With the City?

- Yes, absolutely you can.

- To see if I can feel where she is.

- Absolutely, can you go
ahead and get the text

of that spell and just read
that off for me real quick?

- So...

- Because that could potentially do a,

Bastion City is a large city and can do-

- Gain knowledge above ground of one mile,

underground 600 feet.

It gives me knowledge of
terrain, bodies of water,

buildings, plants, animals, creatures,

powerful buildings, and electricity.

And an example from

the book is undead.

- Amazing, you reach out

and begin to commune with the city.

As you do so you feel, the
first thing you feel are, again,

the things here that are
built or made by hand.

You feel the electricity
running through the place.

You feel the structures,

the architectures, buildings nearby.

You feel very close by are
some ministry buildings

of the Council of Chosen

which your spell hits a blackout for.

In other words, you hit
some kind of abjuration

on these government buildings

preventing them from being scried on.

- Spell firewall, yeah.

- A little spell firewall there.

But you feel there is no undead

being here in the city.

You don't feel the presence
of a powerful undead,

but you feel a lingering of undead magic.

You're wearing your normal
track clothes, right?

- Yeah.
- Like your training clothes.

There's a small A on your
track clothes for Aguefort.

And again, a little just tiny
embroider of the word Aguefort

and you feel a glimmer
[wind shuddering]

of something move off of Aguefort

as though it was a piece of magic.

Go ahead actually and
give me a religion check

if you'd be so kind.
- Am I a Horcrux?

God damn it.
- f*ck, again?

- I mean, the first part.

That was just Persephone, not Sam saying.

- Dirty 20.
- Dirty 20.

You're casting divination magic right now.

You're casting the magic
of scrying and learning

and sending your magic out
to receive information.

The magic you feel feels

like it has some kind of maybe undeath.

Not quite undead, but
something similar to it.

But it is also divination magic.

You feel that the magic,
it's not some weird curse

placed on Antiope, but
rather something was looking

and the only thing it
was able to latch onto

was the name Aguefort.

- So if I cast like, Dispel Magic on that.

- You could, but you also feel,

the spell, you feel, is instantaneous.

Meaning that whatever cast its spell

has already gained the
knowledge it was looking for.

- Oh no!

- And the spell is sort
of flickered and gone.

- Do we know-
- So you, do you tell us this?

- I want to get, real quick,

I want to get a perception
check from Yelle

and I'd also love a-
- Text it to you guys.

- Like an either insight
or Arcana from Sam

depending on where she's at in her head.

- I want to remind, just
verbally remind Sam and Antiope,

I've been telling you guys for years,

I saw, that thing pegged you.

I mean, like not, excuse me-
- What?

- What, what?
- Oh!

- It's got tabs on you two.
- I thought we were maidens!

Oh.
- That doesn't count.

- It's watching you, remember?

- Yeah, I felt-
- I could sense the glass.

- Yeah, Katja has an internal-

- I don't think we would forget that.

- And the only thing we told
her that was true was Aguefort.

[dramatic instrumental music]

- You all recall, again,
that the thing that started,

and I think Penny and Sam, you
can both look at each other

'cause you were there in the room first

that the figure didn't really
start to connect to things

outside of its glass imprisonment

until you said the name Aguefort

and it seemed to have, it was
talking about its sisters,

and it seemed to be able to anchor more

to the present moment
when you gave it a name.

- Sure.
- 17.

- 17 on perception and...
- Hold on.

- Oh, are we all trying to-
- That's a 19 insight.

- Oh, a 19 insight, amazing.

You connect with Antiope in this moment.

As you tune into it, there's
a little familiar crackle

of like a Counterspell energy.

Not current but the old Counterspell,

the one you cast in the
cave all that time ago

that got turned against you,
like Antiope's ranger magic

to like pull you into the mirror.

And you can affirm that Antiope
is not imagining something,

that there's a familiar crackle
of magic of a connection

that you two specifically had

because you were being
dragged into the mirror.

- I am holding the hoodie in
my hand just in a sports bra.

- Yeah, yeah.
[players laughing]

- I'm gonna Druidcraft it on fire.

- Did you get even more abs?

- Yeah, that's like four now.
- Oh my God.

- On a 17 perception, Yelle,
you look around and see

sort of thrumming tourist
crowd and field trips

and classes of people moving
around through the museum.

Bastion City doesn't
seem to be that perturbed

by any magical events going on here.

And I would say once again, in this moment

where Antiope witnesses
something, you don't feel, [sighs]

perception 17, go ahead and give me

an insight check as well.

[die taps table]
- Ooh.

- Oh, I like that sound,
I did like that sound.

Let me guess, 22.
- Oh, insight?

- Yeah.
- Oh God, that is a 27.

- Nice.
- Ooh!

- Wow.
- Let's go!

- Dang, that's a whole-a*s adult roll.

- Yeah.
- So Yelle, you were the one

who shattered that glass
imprisonment back in the day

in order to, again, save your friends.

But even at the, I think on a


Number one, you're not picking
up a bad vibe from anything.

Your friends are obviously rattled.

And the thing in that
mirror was far beyond mortal

and you were one of the
five that ran into the room

and saw it at an angle and
saw how inhuman it was.

But Yelle is not picking up
a bad vibe in this moment.

However, you also have a
high enough insight to know

that Yelle doesn't pick up
bad vibes from lots of stuff

that grosses people out and
makes them uncomfortable.

But you can't rattle
this feeling that like,

you were the one that
successfully broke that mirror

and saved your friends and
abjured that thing, but you...

On a 27 insight you do not feel menace

or dread in this room.

The things in this room
that give you pause,

none of them have to do with,
you know, there might be like

that you're in the middle of Bastion City

which is completely disconnected
from the natural world

and there's a lot of
weird crystal tech stuff

going around here, but nothing about

the weird magical occurrence
that just happened with Antiope

is giving you any reason
for pause in this moment.

- Yeah, I 100% dig what's happening.

- What?
- What?

- Huh?
- [Erika] I mean, you...

[Rekha laughing]
- No!

- This spirit tried to
drag them into a mirror

and then he's following her.

- Yeah, but it's also the end, right?

And like, that's really
trippy, baby, like...

- Rail against the dying of the light.

Why are you fine with this?

I hate this!
- Entropy is terrible.

Everything needs order.
[Brennan laughing]

- Oh no, well.
- That's another one

for the therapy list, but...

- Yeah, I'll add it to the list.

- Wait, you have an actual list?

- You guys are keeping
a therapy list for me?

- Yeah.
- 'Cause we love you.

- Okay, cool.

- Whenever you're ready, we'll
help you make the phone call.

- So you know, I just wanted to say

that I know we saw a ghost
and we're sort of, you know,

paying attention to that,
but I wanted to point out

that I think that Katja
had a great idea of maybe-

- Wait, who, me?
- She said your name.

- [Persephone] Katja, she said your name.

- We don't know another Katja.
- Fully.

- This is news to me.

- You have several great ideas.

- Okay, write this down.
- We're writing them down.

[Aabria and Rekha laughing]

- That Antiope could take the internship

and we could use this.
[Becca gasps]

Like, listen, I know we've got
a couple of things going on,

but if we're trying to
learn where Tectonya is...

- I think we-
- Ipso flipso.

- Ipso flip, higgledy-piggledy, therefore.

- Higgledy-piggledy conniption.

- Conniption.
- Tome.

- Now we're speaking my language.

- [Aabria] Did you just say book?

- Yes.
- All right.

- Book. [laughs]
- Grimoire grimoire grimoire.

- 'Cause you said you
couldn't get in there

with your magic stuff, but
if you were in the building.

- Well, here's my thought,
too, is that Principal Aguefort

said we don't know who might be listening,

and that's a very strange thing to say.

- Well, he's sort of f*cked up.

- Yeah, I agree.
- That's true.

- I think Ostentatia has an
excellent point, he's f*cked up.

- Who?
- You! [laughs]

- Arthur Aguefort.
- Write it down.

- You guys, we have got
to stop being surprised

that we have good points.

- Wait, do you want me to write that text?

- Oh, I already did it,
it's fine, I did it.

- [gasps] You sent a text

without confirming with us on the wording?

- Yeah, where's the draft in the group?

- No, it's okay.

I just said, like, I'm
interesting in pursuing it.

- Wait, you just texted
your potential boss?

- Whoa.
- Is that weird?

Did I do a weird thing?

- No, it's just you
didn't check with us to-

- You said to do it!

- I think that just sorta
blurs some lines, you know?

Like, texting your boss?

- I'll say that she texted her
first from an unknown number.

What's that area code,
where does she live?

- You're so right.

- Bastion City's area code is 212.

- Yeah.
- Thank you, Brennan.

That's gonna be the
biggest note I write down.

- This is important.
[group laughing]

- [Aabria] It's all falling into place.

- I was in the 212.
- We have to map all this.

- This is good, I think
that the internship

is a great idea, but yeah,
watch your back though

because why would Principal
Aguefort be all, you know-

- Higgledy.
- All higgledy-piggledy.

- I just actively got spied
by like an evil mirror ghost

so I feel like being afraid
of being spied on is, yeah.

- Maybe there's something
inside of Aguefort's

freaking sex dungeon.

- Oh yeah, his like weird phoenix-

- Ooh, is that what happens there?

- There was a book that
was gag-bound there.

- Mirror people.
- Yep.

- The book with the yellow
eyeball and the muzzle

he said, don't look-
- You're very fixed on that.

- Well, he said, "Don't look at it."

- It was extremely jarring.
- It made me sad looking.

- [Persephone] Zelda, Zelda.

- Yeah.
- So one of us said

that divination stuff was involved, right?

Isn't your like, I don't
know, weird boyfriend

friends with someone who's like...

- He's not weird, he's
actually very popular.

- [Persephone] Diviner thing.

- Oh yeah, no, yes, I'm
friends with Adaine,

the Elven Oracle, yeah, for sure.

- Do you think you could ask her

if she can see anything with this.

- [Brennan] Sure.

- Wait, but first.
- Well, I'm personally

very connected, you know,
sort of the higher powers.

- First though, not about
The Ending of All Things.

- A very powerful cleric.

- No one should look into that
with magic, just Tectonya.

- Okay, do we want to,
well, maybe that's like a,

I feel like it's been a big day.

You just met with the lady.

- And hello, just got
a job. [claps softly]

- Oh my God.
[players clapping]

- We should go get a
snack for this moment.

- Celebrate.
- Are we really clapping now?

- We smash cut to some TGIF-style, like-

[Erika laughing]
- Whoa, oh,

I want the banana split
with flaming sparklers.

- Why won't they come over?

- You see there's a centaur
waiter who's just like,

"No," and just walks off.
- What, what?

- That's a horse person!
- What?

Did you just deny my friend service, sir?

- Do you know how much she loves horses?

This is really scarring for her!

- I do this to get his
attention [sputters]

- You can see that's why
the centaur is like, no-

- Go up to her!
[players laughing]

You go up to her and you take her order!

[Brennan sighs]

- 'Cause she has a horse
hairbrush in her pocket

and she just started trying to-

- Welcome to Slappy McFinnigan's.

My name is Joseph, how can I help you?

- I brush his hair.
- No, you have to ask!

- Okay, look, we need to actually-

- You have to ask!
- I'm sorry.

[players shouting]
- That's so f*cking-

- Okay, so here's the thing.

I'm gonna go get my manager

and I'm just gonna go get my manager.

- I'm sorry!
[players shouting]

- We smash cut to a fast food
restaurant down the street.

- Why are we even here?

Why are we celebrating this at all?

- [Aabria] Just eating
like one sad french fry.

- Now we're at a drive-through.

- We're celebrating, okay, hi, we'll take-

- One at a time.
- We'll take 25 hamburgers.

- That's so many.

- No, but seriously, why are celebrating?

- Where are we again?
- Because Antiope...

- This is a big step in Antiope's life.

- [Rekha] Yeah.

- Zelda looks over and says,

"I actually really love the
point that Ostentatia made."

- Who?

- I really loved the point Ostentatia made

in the awesome video
which I saved, I saved it.

- I saved it, too.
- I also saved it.

- Yeah, I did, too.
- It was made for saving.

- You see Zelda says, "But
basically, like, basically,

you know, there's like
a whole conversation,

just like hard feelings
and everything like that,

but Principal Aguefort
cleared our schedule

for the next two weeks so
that buys us some time.

And there's reasons
that help the GED quest

for Antiope to take the internship."

- What's a GED?
- The GED.

- It's pronounced GED.
- Oh, the GED.

- Yeah, our GED quest.
- Is it GED or GED?

I never know.
- I never know.

- I think it's a hard G.

- Well, it's for general, right?

G is for general?
- Yeah, so it should be a GED.

- Pronounced as GED, it should be GED.

- But so-
- It's not the general.

It's not the general.

- So I think that, you
know, I think, again,

in the terms of the GED quest, like,

we don't have to, like,

there's reasons that help the GED quest

for Antiope to take this internship.

Yeah, there are a lot of complex feelings,

but right now we don't have
to cross that bridge yet.

So I think that we should think
about what Ostentatia said

about Tectonya
[chimes twinkling]

because obviously, look,
it seems really clear

that we all, that you just saw something

and that's really scary, but
I also sort of don't know

what to even do about that.

But I think with Tectonya
and that thing she took

we do know what to do about that.

Maybe while we're all here in Bastion City

we should think about like, I don't know.

I've been talking for a long time.

- No, you're doing so good.
- It's okay.

- You're so good.

- You're really doing a great job.

- [Rekha] You're really doing impressive.

- You're really doing so good.

- Oh yeah, you're doing good.
- Yeah, I'm sorry.

Yeah, but like, we're all here
in Bastion City right now.

You have an opportunity with this space

that's like, literally in a building

that's is like off limits to scrying.

That feels like there's gotta
be something cool there.

- Yeah.

- But we're also all at
Bastion City at the same time,

and this is where the
Superintendent of Schools worked.

So like, there's some scary stuff going on

that we don't understand.

We can all be vigilant about that,

but there is stuff we do understand,

and we can make moves on that.

And we have two weeks so
let's make the most of it.

- Like reanimating the bones of Kalvaxus

and making them dance?
[Brennan laughing]

- I'm so bad at dancing.

- I feel like-
- Make him do a stupid dance.

- Yeah.
- Honestly, I-

- That is so much better than my idea.

So much better.

- Let's do, and then Danielle fills up

like you know, the suicide?
- Yeah!

- You see that right behind
you Cinnamon is like,

"Love a suicide" and
just smashes the machine.

- Yeah, you don't want to
see her twisted on a suicide.

She gets crazy.
[Aabria cheers]

- And Antiope and Sam, if
you have a moment in a bit,

I'd like to convene.

- [Brennan] Amazing.
- I feel like I'm in trouble.

- No, no, no.
- Okay, that's fine.

- And we're just cheering
on Cinnamon, go, go!

- Yeah!

- She wants to borrow you for a minute.

- You see, yeah, Cinnamon
kicks the top off

of the soft drink machine.
[players cheering]

And just starts eating
packets of the syrup

that they make the. [mimics scarfing]

- Your horse is gonna get diabetes.

- Cinnamon's gonna be lost
in the sauce for a while.

- Yeah.
- I know.

It'll be incredible, trust me.

- She's just brushing.
[players laughing]

- Amazing, so I'm actually going to,

I think we are gonna zoom out

in a little bit of downtime here

which is basically like,
you're all in Bastion City.

Antiope, you get a text back from Charity

basically saying like, absolutely.

If you would like to come by
and fill out paperwork here

at the Ministry I'd be
happy to have you do so.

So you could go there as early as today

if you see some utility in going there.

But for everyone else, I'd be interested

in what it is you're doing
to fact find about Tectonya.

And again, as a reminder about
all the information you have,

you have the information that Sam gleaned

from the Mirror of the Past.

Have you used your
Mirror of the Past today?

- I have not.

- So you have an ability to
use it again if you would like.

You know

some about like, there's a possibility

to do research about
specifically where she went.

You know it's in the Mountains of Chaos

so you sort of have this
idea of where she went, yeah.

- Is there a Bastion City library

or an even more exclusive
library that I could sneak into

and get information
about the type of mirrors

that can trap people?
- Ooh.

- And I would like to
look at the Dwarf Hall.

- Amazing.
- What'd you say, chaos?

- And I will use the library

or I would like to figure
out my dad's relation.

I don't know how, what the
best, I call my dad again.

- I'd like to use the library to find out

who my dad is hooking up with.
- Yeah.

If they have a book on my dad's exploits,

his old black book
somewhere in the library.

- Ooh.
- Could be, could be.

He's pretty famous.
- Yeah.

- Okay, we gotta all stop

hitting on each other's parents, right?

- No.
- Nobody hits on my parents.

- So you guys are in the
Museum of Questing right now.

There's a ton of stuff
that you guys could look up

here in the museum, and there are also,

you guys are Aguefort students.

You actually have student IDs
that can get you downstairs

in the museum which some of
the researchers if you want.

'Cause obviously museums
only show a fraction

of the stuff that they have.

Now, you don't have an appointment,

but you do have student IDs

so if there is a research squad

that wants to go into the museum,

that's totally something you can do.

Going to the ministry

is absolutely something else you can do.

Or you're also in Bastion City

and there are a lot of alumni
networks and connections

and you might just have like friends

of your dad's here in town.

So everyone just, let's
go ahead and just tell me

what the research or fact
finding you're doing here

in Bastion City is today.

I'll start with Antiope.

- I do want to go and
have that conversation

with Yelle and Sam, yeah.
- Let's go ahead

and actually run that now.

I'll actually say, because
Katja, Penny, and Ostentatia

all have a specific research
thing you want to do

and Yelle wanted to check in with them

so I think you three head off

to go do the specific research
thing that you're good at.

And Zelda, [laughs] poor Zelda.

Zelda is gonna keep you three
company as you walk along.

- Oh, baby.
- Come on, Zelly.

- Yeah, I'm good, I'll help-
- We'll ride on your back.

- Yay, and then you see Zelda-
[players laughing]

- I'll ride on your back.
- It's fine.

- Will that make you feel better?

- [Isabella] Do you
want to ride on my back?

- Yeah, Zelda's like 4'11'' so
Zelda's not like, it's like.

- She's still giant to me.
- I'll crush you.

- [Brennan] She's still
giant to you, yeah, exactly.

- I'm also much smaller than you.

- Thank you, I'll ride on your back.

- Yeah.

- And Cinnamon will ride on my back.

[players laughing]
- So you head off.

Sam, Yelle, and Antiope, you have a moment

outside the second restaurant you went to.

[players laughing]

- What's the name of that restaurant?

- We ordered 25 hamburgers.

- Oh yeah, Slappy's.

- No, Slappy's was the first one.

- [Persephone] That was the first one.

- Slappy McFinnigan's was the TGIF-

- Too classy for us.
- A little bit too,

this next one was called Slamburger.

- Oh, oh, we got 25 Slamburgers

- We're perfect for Slamburgers.

- Wow, yeah, we fit
right in at Slamburger.

When you're at Slamburger,
you're f*cking family.

- You see there's literally just a like-

- You're f*cking-
- You are f*cking your family.

- Yeah, that's their tagline.
- There's one fry cook

who's a Tiefling in the
back who's like smoking

in front of the grease.

Like, "What's up, welcome to Slamburger."

- And he's also the owner, yeah.

- He was just watching

as we destroyed the soda
machine and said nothing.

- My horse ate all of the syrup out of it.

- You can pay for it.
- Yeah, I leave a $10.000 tip.

[group laughing]

- Ostentatia throws her bag up
over the counter and is like,

so, do you come here often?

- To the person who works there?

- What, to my job?
- Yeah.

- Honestly, no.
[players laughing]

- I can see that about you.

- Oh wow, hell yeah, hell yeah.

- I like that we just went back into.

- Yeah, honest-
- Wait a minute.

- Yeah, way to try to tell a story Brennan

We want to stay in this fast-
[players laughing]

- We flirt with the
dirtbag Tiefling, yeah.

- Yeah!
- And break their appliances.

- Yeah, anyone hot we want to flirt with.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

- He's not hot.

- It doesn't matter, he's here.

- Sorry, anyone here
we want to flirt with.

- When you're here, you're f*cking family.

- So outside of the Slamburger,
Yelle, Sam, and Antiope

connect really quickly.

- You two are linked inextrip,
inextricably. [babbles]

- You got it, words are hard.
- Oh, what was this one?

[group laughing]
Inextricably.

That mirror that pulled you two in

now you're bound to that.

I don't know what that
is, but it feels like

while it is not fun, it might
be within the natural order

of the world, if that makes sense.

And a lot of things that are real spooky

are in the natural order of the world.

- I do want to just jump in and say,

it does not make sense to me.
- No, not even a little bit.

- Okay cool, not just me?

- [Persephone] Yeah, word,
yeah, mm-hmm, yeah, mm-hmm.

- Vibes, run that back one more time.

- I'm still mad at you though.

- Well, I understand,
but we agree on this.

- Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm.

- Well good, that's the
other jumping off point, too

for the next thing that I
want to talk to you about.

- Oh, God damn it.

- Listen, you are both going through sh*t.

You're both unsure

about what's gonna happen
to you after school.

Both have something
going on in your lives,

and I don't know what that is

and we don't have to discuss
it, but you have to understand

that that's happening for both of you.

You don't have to make up right now,

but we have to get
through this quest, okay?

Ostentatia and I want to graduate

so at least we have that
option to be together

if you decide to take it.

If you don't, that's
something that we come to

at a later date but for
now, know that you're loved.

Know that we're gonna
follow you wherever you go

because you are our fearless leader.

- You are our leader, yeah.
- Why are we?

No, that's-
- From down the block, yes!

[claps] You're the leader!
- You're the leader!

We decided.
- We love you.

- Why does it feel bad every time?

- You remember that tattoo you got

the last time we all got drunk

that says leader on your back?

[group laughing]

- [Brennan] God.
[Rekha screams]

- I don't, that's a natural one.

- That's a nat one!
- A what?

- Oh, nothing.
- A what?

- Mirror.

- [Persephone] Nothing, nothing.

- [Rekha] Oh my God,
show her in the mirror!

- Give me your mirror,
give me your mirror,

give me your mirror!

- You really don't want
to look in this mirror.

- Is this your one use of it today?

Give it now.

- Do you try to take the mirror?

- Yeah.
- Does it lose its charge?

- Yeah, in like grabby hands way like,

give it now, give it now!

- I'm gonna say, I actually am gonna say

that the mirror pops open.
- Oh no.

- And you cut back to, Sam, you
are holding Antiope's hands.

You're in The Red Waste
at a shitty tattoo place.

There's a Dragonborn like, "Lower back?

You want this font saying leader?"

[Aabria laughing]
- Yes, yeah.

- Just the word.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[group laughing]

- [Brennan] You want that font?

- She wants this.

- Yeah, that sounds, that sounds...

- [Becca] And hearts around it.

- totally awesome.
- And let me tell you-

- You're gonna look so f*cking-

- From someone with taste,

this is gonna look f*cking amazing.

[tattoo machine buzzing]
- It's so you.

- Can you make it look more
like the b*llet journal font?

I just want it to have
like, girl boss vibes.

- Man, but hands though...

- The mirror stops and we come
back to this present moment.

- I am screaming, I will not do.

It's a high pitch.

I want Kalvaxus's bones to shake.

- That was the one use for the day.

[group laughing]
- Yeah, it's that one.

- This is the other option.

- [Brennan] Oh, the b*llet journal font.

[players laughing]
- Oh!

- Yeah, yeah.
- I feel sick.

- I should mention that
if I'm not holding this

it will not end well for you.
[Brennan laughs]

That's not a threat from
me, that's the mirror.

- I'm gonna say that the
tattoo actually ended up,

the Dragonborn actually
had done the first L

of the original font and
then you all made him.

So it's a huge cursive L and
the b*llet journal under.

- No, cuter letters!
- Oh my.

- Amazing.

- [laughs] The ugliest f*cking tattoo.

- Just a tr*mp stamp.

- We're gonna come back
to our research squad.

- That was the end of
the serious conversation?

- Don't pass me a note.
- Yeah.

- Don't pass me a note.

- We're gonna go back
to the research squad.

So all of you return to the museum.

You see that the doors to
the research facilities

of the museum are not marked

'cause they obviously have tourists

and people walking through,

but there are some small doors

with little attendant desks.

There's information desks
and stuff like that.

Do you all of you want to just try to walk

into the research facilities
or do you want to interface

with a custodian or researcher

or member of the museum staff?

I'm going full stealth mode.
- Hell yes, amazing.

- I can help one other person.

I will not be invisible,

but I could give my
invisibility to someone else.

- Okay, so as you are approaching.

So Penny, you're just gonna infiltrate.

Does Ostentatia or Katja
want to go stealthy

or do you want to be able to walk freely

or do you want to go
interface with somebody?

- I'll just go in.

- Or you're just going, not stealthy

and not talking to
anybody, you just walk in.

- Yeah.
- Amazing.

- I think I try to use my
connects and talk to someone.

Yeah, I've got a big horse.

It's pretty hard for me to
be stealthy going in there.

- So Katja, you, Zelda, and your horse

walk up to the information desk.

- That sounds like a joke.

- [laughs] And you see the
person looks up and says,

"Um, hi, hello, can I help you?"

- Yes.
[Isabella chuckles]

- f*ck, f*ck, okay.

Um, yes, do you know anything about, um,

do you know my dad?

- Give me a persuasion roll.
[Rekha laughs]

- [Isabella] Let's go.

- Okay.
- Oh no, oh no.

- [laughs] Sorry, 16.
- 16, okay.

The person says, "Who is your father?"

- Karl Cleaver, adventurer,
kind of a burly dude.

- Oh!
- Jovial, loud.

- I have not met this person

but I'm familiar, yes, absolutely.

- Okay, do you know someone named...

- Tectonya.

- I hear Penny's voice
in my head, Tectonya.

And then I look at my notes, Karkovnya.

[Aabria laughing]

- Um...

[die taps table]

Oh, yes, yes, absolutely.

Yes, Ms. Karkovnya was one

of the museum's major
benefactors actually.

- So she's probably at like,
yearly events, you know,

gala ball, do you have a?

- Well, she's been missing
for many years, so no.

- And when she went missing,
what did you hear about it?

I'm just curious.

- So information refers
to sort of information

about the museum.
- The world, right?

About the world?
[Persephone laughing]

- Yeah, what, and what do you, what?

Well, are you lost?
[Rekha laughing]

- Katja, I found a book!
- Oh, incredible!

My friend was looking for a
book, thank you for your help.

[group laughing]

- Penny, let me go ahead and
get a stealth check from you.

- Yeah, all right, so
I'm naturally stealthy

so I was behind Cinnamon
until I noticed it...

- Amazing, and if you want to
try to help everybody sneak,

you can go ahead, hit
somebody with invisibility.

Do you want to try to
sneak your whole group in

or just yourself?

- They already made their choice.

- [Brennan] They got
it, you're good, yeah.

- [gasps] A lot, a lot.

And that's a 28.
- Oh!

- Oh my God, make any skill
check you want to make

with advantage.
- Oh!

- Whoa.
- Ooh, let's do this.

- Oh, we're going arcana, baby.

- [Brennan] Hell yes.

- So that's a 29 or...
- Oh my God.

- Not.
- 29, 29's pretty good.

- Yeah, it's okay.
- Or a 56.

- Seven, yeah. [laughs]
- Um, natural 50.

- [Isabella] Natural 50.

- Penny, while they're
distracting the information desk,

you're totally, you're a shadow.

The door opens as a staff member

walks out of the research
wing and you are gone,

in the vents, you're like
"Mission Impossible."

- Yeah, I actually lay
on my back on the floor

and just scoot my feet
real fast so I'm super low.

- Super low just. [mimics wind whistling]

- Like you're limboing?

- No, full-on on the ground.
- On your back going forward.

- Yeah, like crab legs,
crab legs on the back.

- Are you just Grudge walking in?

- Hell yeah.
- Yeah, I draw a picture.

- But you could have said Grudge walking.

- We all know what that is.

- Yeah, just say Grudge walking, I get it.

- I Grudge walk in real fast.

- It does sound cooler
the more you say it.

- We're gonna come to that in a second.

Ostentatia, so you say you found a book.

You're just walking back in there.

- Can I be like showing my
student ID like a badge?

- Yeah, you see actually,

so a security person does stop you.

Yeah, a Goliath security
officer sort of says,

"Um, excuse me, are you
here with a field trip?

This is a private wing of the museum."

- I'm a...

Yeah.
[Becca laughs]

- Okay, do you know where
your field trip group is?

[Rekha sputter laughs]

- Um...
- I'm a student.

- Am I with Ostentatia?
- I'm a student.

- Have you like, led Katja, Zelda,

and Cinnamon in here as well?
[players laughing]

- Is this happening at the same time

as Katja is talking to the information?

- Well, you said you had a book

so I'm gonna say that you
have brought them with you.

So Katja, you're with
Ostentatia at this point, yeah.

- [Isabella] Okay, okay, okay.

- So my dad is, you know
my dad, Karl Cleaver.

- Brennan, could I sort
of dangle my earrings?

- Oh, would you like to use
the Earrings of Diamond Charm?

- Yes, absolutely.
- Ooh!

- Call it fake!
[group laughing]

- Amazing, okay.

This is gonna be a wisdom saving throw.

This is magic so I am gonna
roll this in the Box of Doom.

- Ooh.
- Let's go.

- But they don't know, right?

I'm just like.
[chimes twinkling]

- [Brennan] You're just like-

- Just a casual, you know.
[cowbell ringing]

- Okay friends, bling bing.
- Bling bing.

- Oh my God, I forgot.
- Bling bing.

- Bling bing.

- Your DC for this spell is a 17.

So I will say to our
audience viewing at home,

this security guard only has a +2

to his wisdom saving throw.


[dramatic instrumental music]

It's a natural 20.
- Oh no!

[players groaning]
- No!

- He is a really good security guard.

- Boo!
- f*ck!

- So you go for your
Earrings of Diamond Charm.

[Brennan mimics twinkling]
[chimes twinkle]

He looks and says, "Okay, so
you've cast a spell on me."

- Oh God.
- Oh.

- What are you trying to say?
[Brennan laughing]

- [laughs] Let's go!

[fans flapping open]
[group laughing]

There's still hope.
- Maybe you have, too.

- Okay, so this spell has not
worked so I'm going to require

a persuasion check with disadvantage.

- Oh no.
- It can still happen.

You've got this.
- For a teenager

hitting on a security guard?
- Oh no.

- After casting a spell on them?

- Yeah, after casting a spell-
- I wish I were there

to give inspiration.
- I know.

- Anybody.
- Can I help?

Can I give a help action?
- Oh yeah, Katja.

So you said a thing like,
"Do you know who my dad is?"

- Do you know who my dad is?

- So now you're just rolling straight.

It's a straight roll.

The DC's gonna be high, this is a DC 20.

- Yo, I believe in you.
- Come on.

- No.
- So you see he goes like,

"Okay, so I'm gonna need everyone here

to just leave right away."
- But we're on a field trip!

It's for school, I promise.
- I need information.

- Yeah, we have to find. [sighs]

Listen, my friend
[tender instrumental music]

is gonna fail out of school

if we don't get this assignment done.

- [sniffles] I don't want
you guys to tell him.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

She's gonna fail out of school,

and I just don't want
that to happen to her.

She has a troubled family life, sir.

I don't want that to happen.

And if we don't complete this assignment,

if I don't help her
complete this assignment,

[Isabella weeping loudly]
who knows?

They might feed her to something.

I don't know what could happen.

- Go ahead, give me a persuasion check.

- [Aabria] Let's go.

- Okay.
- DC 20.

- Oh, interesting, 13. [laughs]

- Great, you see he says,
"Look, I'm gonna be honest.

I need all of you to,"
now I'm gonna make a roll.

[players gasping]

[die taps table]

- And also Cinnamon
hasn't tried anything yet.

- So is Penny sort of doing anything?

- You see Zelda looks sort of
down the hall either direction

and she's much shorter
than this Goliath, she-

- Oh, I forgot about Zelda.

- She hops up, clocks
this dude in the chin

and knocks him unconscious.
- Yeah!

- And goes, "Run, I got him!"

And she's just-
[players shouting joyously]

- Zelda!
- Riding the horse down.

- You're riding the horse

through the research wing, amazing.

[players laughing]
Incredible.

- My b*tch!

- I feel like this provides a lot of cover

for anything I'm gonna do now.

- Zelda was feeling really self-conscious

that she couldn't make a
skill check roll to help

but she's like, this is
how I can contribute!

- I was like, I can only
beat this guy and I was like,

I don't want to do that,
it's too showy, but...

- Punching him works.
- Incredible.

We have a 29 arcana.

Now so I'm gonna need this.

We're gonna do a little
skill check thing here.

I am gonna need investigate
checks from each of you,

and that's gonna determine,
because you're pressed for time,

you'll be able to make your skill check.

This is gonna determine if
you're making it with advantage

or not so go ahead and
roll an investigate check.

- [Aabria] Does Cinnamon
provide the help action?

- Natural 20.
- Oh baby!

- [Brennan] Oh my God.
- Let's go!

- I didn't get that.
- Uh-huh.

- I got a 10.
- A 10, cool.

So you're just gonna roll
a straight history check.

That nat 20 is gonna carry you to glory.

- Okay.
- Oh, nice.

- I got a 24.
- Amazing.

- Let's go!
- Nice.

- We're gonna cover all
of these things happening

in the museum, I just want
to hear from Sam, Yelle,

and Antiope about what
you are doing if anything

while all this shenaniganery is going on.

- So I think that we've gotten the idea

that the Superintendent
has a lot of connections

in powerful places.
- Mm-hmm.

- I know a lot of people in Bastion City

that work in show biz.
- [gasps] Love that.

- So I could either reach out
to the producer of my old show

or director or I could
reach out to my mother.

- No.
- Not Camille.

- Don't do that.
- You don't have to do that.

- I mean, we are being chased by,

there's some weird ghost thing going on

that's like some primordial being.

And also all my, I might call my mother.

I call my mother.

- It's literally The Ending of All Things

and only in that circumstance
would you talk to your mom.

- If Sam wants to call her mother,

we absolutely can do that.

If you would like to
leave it up to the dice

and see if there is a contact,
either way is good with me.

What is Sam gonna do?

- Let's go for the pain.
[player gasps]

- Yeah.
- Okay, cool, amazing.

What's Yelle doing?

- Where was the Superintendent's
office and station?

You know, just there in
the building where we were?

- It was in a separate
building in Bastion City.

[lively instrumental music]

If you want to look for it,

you can give me an investigate check.

[die taps table]


- 18, yeah, you find the
old administrative building.

Yeah, 'cause you're right in the downtown,

very civic area of Bastion City.

It's very like, a lot of Bastion City

has very tall skyscrapers

and is industry and finance
and stuff like that.

You're very much in the marble, civic,

governmental kind of neighborhood now

with the big museums and stuff.

So you go right over

and definitely find that building there.

When you get there,

are you gonna look for
anything in particular?

- I'm gonna speak with the
stupid corporate park plants.

- [gasps] Incredible, you
speak to some old trees

out in the park.
- Aw.

- We will get to that in a second.

- That's great.
- Last thing is Antiope.

- Yeah, I'm gonna go report
for my internship, I guess

and see if can get some
information while I'm there.

- Amazing, amazing.

We're gonna run through
these checks super quickly.

In your history check in the museum,

what are you looking for in particular?

Is there a skew to your research
that you're trying to do

or the thing you're trying to discover?

- I think anything about,

do you know what you're gonna research

so we don't do the same thing.

- I wanted to look up the Hall of Chaos.

- The Mountains of Chaos.

You're looking up that temple.
- Mm-hmm.

- You're looking up
anything related to mirrors.

- Who traps in mirrors, how, why?

- I think I want to look up Tectonya.

I want to look up, if she's made of copper

I wanna look up that sh*t.
[Aabria laughing]

I want to look up the facts

surrounding her disappearance, too.

- Oh yeah.
- Amazing.

So you look up Tectonya's disappearance.

So I'm gonna run through
these skill checks

'cause they were all incredible, Yes, Iz.

- Could I also, is there
a way to check if I,

or like a history check
or something about like

if I know sh*t about like, copper people?

- I know one fact about copper.

- People?

[Rekha and Brennan laughing]

It turns green?
- It turns green.

- It's the melting point
which I found interesting.

- [Persephone] I wonder if
we're just gonna find her

like fully oxidized somewhere.
- Oh, what is it?

- It's 1984 degrees fahrenheit
which is very strange.

- No!

- Is that something
you just dead-a*s know?

- I did look it up.
- Orwellian!

- Okay, respect.
- It's very Orwellian.

- Copper's how they control us.

- Everyone's watching, someone's watching.

- So you're looking up
anything in the museum related

to the disappearance of
Tectonya, any history stuff.

First of all, you see Tectonya

was a benefactor of the museum.

You also see that much
like Arthur Aguefort,

she is centuries old.

She has been a very
long-lived Earth Genasi.

You see that a lot of her area of study,

her particular area of magical
study was consciousness

and specifically the
relationship of consciousness

to the working of will.

And a lot of her study
also related to divinity.

She was very interested
in the ways in which

will and divine will manifested.

And a lot of her
contributions to the museum

and the things she was
very interested in studying

had to do with the elements.

And she was an Earth
Genasi, and there were a lot

of sort of like, there was
a lot of interesting things

that she talked about with elemental magic

and how that was something
that was often not delved into.

It's like, you sh**t lightning,

you sh**t fire, that's whatever.

She was sort of more interested in that.

Her disappearance happened 12 years ago.

And definitely people
know that she is missing.

Oh, you also find that
your dad, similarly also

was a benefactor of the museum
which is not surprising.

Ostentatia, you find exactly
what you are looking for.

This is a huge amount
of Dwarven scrolls here

that are written in ancient Dwarven.

You find not only the history
but the exact location

with drawings and a sort of depiction

of exactly what Sam described.

It is called the Temple
of the Earth Defiant.

It is a religious site crafted by Dwarves

but is also a holy site of pilgrimage

for lots of primordial beings,

things connected with the Earth
and in fact other elements.

So Goliaths, Earth Genasi,
other things like that

have traveled to this
place in the past as well.

The reason it's called the
Temple of the Earth Defiant

is it's a Dwarven holy site
that far from being underground

is built on the very tops of these spires.

It's impossible to get to,
it's incredibly remote.

It's really far away from any
communities or living centers,

and it's up high in these
mountains where it naturally,

like, it's in a series of
places where the stone,

I think they're sometimes
called fairy chimneys

or other things like that.

They're like Monument
Valley-esque tall stones

shaped by wind that are
all clustered together

in the mountains.

And part of the holiness
of this space is like,

it's a place you go where
the wind and the elements

and the sky, which have a very
different meaning for Dwarves

than they have for other creatures.

The sky kind of means
like, chaos and tempest.

For Dwarves that live
underground it's like,

what the f*ck is weather?

Like, that sounds wild to me.

Why would you put up with that, right?

And the Temple of the Earth Defiant

is this places that Dwarves go to

to carve statues of heroes.

It's a place that has often
been a proving ground of heroes.

It has also been a place of sanctuary

because the heart of the temple,
the sanctum of the temple

is powerfully hallowed in such a way

that monstrosities and evil
beings cannot enter the temple.

They are completely abjured
from entering the temple

so a lot of people that have been pursued

'cause the Mountains of
Chaos are very dangerous

get to the temple and are
safe once they get there.

Dwarves go and make pilgrimages there

and rebuild the bridges
and carve new statues

and make these new things out of the stone

as a way of kind of defying
what they see as like,

the elemental nature of
the sky which is chaos

and being like, here we are
going to remember the past

and we are going to
hold onto these things.

So when they call it the
Temple of the Earth Defiant,

that's what they're referring to.

And again, on a 20 I'll say
that there are three heroes

whose legends, there are three heroes

who had incredible battles on
their pilgrimage to the temple

and actually fought there.

There's many different
carvings and stuff like that,

but there's three that actually have huge,

permanent statues there.

And those three Dwarven heroes are

Asha Hammerheart,

Yvonna of the Sundering
Hills, and Kora Ironbrow.

Not only do you know all this
information about the temple,

and again, it's very
dangerous to get to high up,

these bridges built by single
Dwarven pilgrims by hand.

But you also know exactly where it is.

You have a map directly to it.

That's you, Penny.

- Wait, is there like, I'm
scaling these metal shelves

very stealthily like, whispering to myself

how the Society of Shadows
is gonna be so impressed

with my work here as
Cinnamon goes clomping by.

[group laughing]
Speedily, like things falling

off the shelves and Ostentatia
just crying behind her.

[group laughing]

- On that 29 arcana check,
you find mirror stuff

in a very familiar file cabinet
about recovered artifacts.

And you're looking, this
is not in religious texts.

You're looking through museum documents.

You're looking through the almost like,

their Dewey Decimal system of like,

how they keep track of stuff, right?

- Ooh. [giggles]
[Brennan laughing]

Numerical organization systems, whew!

- Exactly.
- Is that what-

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

[fans flapping]
- Dripping, absolutely.

- For her.
- For her.

- For her.
- There you go.

You end up finding cards
that were made ready

and are labeled as unrecovered
artifacts destroyed

from a full accounting
of the Hoard of Kalvaxus.

The reason being that dragon hoards,

especially evil dragons have a curse

that goes over their hoard
that can make the people that,

like, it's very dangerous
to have dragons' wealth

without breaking the curse on it.

And so the museum is
very careful about like,

hey, did this end up in the wrong hands?

Did someone get this?

This can be very dangerous
and powerfully magical.

There are seven things
marked as artifacts.

And the marking of artifact

is not me being careless with language.

Artifact meaning the type of
magical item that is unique

and usually uncraftable by mortals, right?

Like a type of artifact
that is fully legendary.

And there are seven cards.

[Becca gasps]
- Seven.

- That's how many friends I have!

Including me.
[group laughing]

- I knew it.
- It's Cinnamon inclusive.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh.

- The eight maidens.

- What you find is basically-

- I believe Cinnamon f*ck.
- Yeah, one of us has.

- What you find is that these are called

the Mirrors of the Eidolons.
- Ooh!

- And the cards have it put down

that these were found by our recovery team

to be destroyed, to be broken.

Looking into more research
you find those cards,

find that they were never recovered.

The reason for their lack of recovery

was that they were destroyed.

And you basically quickly flit down

and start looking at some other stuff.

A 29 arcana check is so good.
- I know.

- [Brennan] You've heard-
[Players laughing]

- f*ck, I know.
- f*ck!

- You've heard the word eidolon before

and you know what it is.
- Hmm.

- It's a weird piece of lore

from a part of interplanar
arcana that is rarely studied.

And the reason it's rarely studied

is that Eidolons are largely theoretical.

People don't really summon
or interact with them a lot.

What you know about them

is that they are primarily
elemental, right?

And that they are a
primordial being, right?

You remember Katja remarking
that she had seen primordial

around that mirror in
Kalvaxus's lair, right?

What Eidolons basically are is,

they are celestials of the inner planes.

So for people that maybe don't
know D&D cosmology super well

the outer planes are what we
think of as the afterlife,

like Heaven and Hell are outer planes.

The outer planes have Angels and Devils

and Faeries and the Elven gods.

All the gods live on the outer planes.

And the outer planes are kind
of the focus of most clerics

because it's divinity, it's
where divinity comes from.

It's like, the alignment.

Literally the outer planes
are with your alignment.

They are the planes of belief
and ideology and afterlives

and all that stuff like that
and tend to be a big focus

as a result because they are planes

that are the object of human belief

which tends to be the focus
of attention and consciousness

and people like to think about themselves.

The inner planes are the
planes of raw elements.

Earth, air, fire, water.

On a 29 arcana you know
that there are more

than those four inner planes.

There are some like the
paraelemental planes,

but there's debate about whether those

are true planes of their own

or just where the other ones meet.

- Oh, I was close.
- The important thing is that,

yeah, hey, an arcana check.

I'm glad someone has a good arcana.

- Yay.
- But basically what it is

is that Eidolons, so
like in the outer planes

there are Solars and
there's Archdevils, right?

Eidolons are those for
the elemental planes.

The are the utmost beings.

They are kind of like the progenitor

for other powerful elementals
like genies or titans

or other things like that

that are from those elemental
planes and are aligned

with kind of like the magic of raw element

without agenda.

And one thing you are aware
of about Eidolons is that idea

of being without agenda kind of goes

to two interesting things there which is,

one of the things that Eidolons have

that is sort of interesting
about the elemental planes

is that idea of

turning will into reality.

In a lot of cosmologies, and
obviously this is not something

clerics say, this is like
things that wizards say

about clerics is that
it is sometimes believed

that when the gods shaped reality,

they were actually not
able to do that themselves

because the gods are beings of pure spirit

and that the material
realm is pure matter.

How could they ever meet or intersect?

And that the Eidolons
are sometimes referred to

as the hands of the Gods.

That these are the beings

that actually come from
divine will and shape reality.

And whereas Angels and Celestials

are like the messengers
spreading the beliefs,

they are made of ideology,
the Eidolons are here

to just grant the wishes
of those divinities.

Just to make the reality
for them and shape creation.

So when we say like the-
- That's a lot.

- That's a lot, cool.

How's that for a 29?
- Yeah, no, stop giving info.

- Good thing I brought
color-coded markers today.

[players shouting]
- Oh!

- Cool.
- I'm like about-

- All of that information.
- They don't make it anymore.

[fan flapping open]
- Yeah, f*cking let's go.

- Oh my God, yes.
- Oh!

- I can feel myself turning
into like a Riz Gukgak.

[Brennan laughing]
- Yeah.

- Okay, mirrors,
primordial, copper, idolize.

- Yeah, and I'm gonna write
Riz a long text tonight.

- [Brennan] And like send him-

- Just like, did you know about Eidolons?

- Hey, cutie.

- Unrelated, I don't need his help.

I just wanna like, teach him something.

- Aw.
- Amazing.

We're gonna go, Sam, you
go ahead and give a call.

First of all, you unblock the number.

- First I unblock the number

and then I just stare at my crystal

for a good five minutes.

And I don't think I mentioned
out loud to the others

what I'm about to, I probably
went into an alley nearby.

[sighs] f*ck me, and
just click send, call.

[phone ringing]

- Well, well, well, well,
well, who is calling me

but the prodigal daughter, hello Sammy.

- Hi, Mom.

- Uh, first of all, can you
believe Gideon and Rebecca?

[Brennan laughs]

- Starts off with shade, I like her.

- Wow.

- Yeah, um, yeah.

How many partners do you have?

- [laughs] Well, not as many as Gideon,

let me tell you that.
- Oh.

- Yeah, people like him, anyway.

- Oh, okay, we're gonna be a little saucy.

- [Persephone] Mm.

- Sweetheart, I wanted to talk to you

because as you know, you
are not getting any younger

and I think it's time
that we started to plan.

Thank you for returning my calls finally.

- I'm not calling about that.

Not even a little bit.

- What are you-

- Besides, I'll just take after you.

I don't need to age when
there's Botox and filler.

- [sniffs] Okay, there's
a little hostility here.

That's all right.

Why don't you say what it
is that you want to say?

- All right, why didn't you
call when Penelope died?

[tense instrumental music]

The first thing you said was being happy

that her parents were divorcing.

That's f*cked up.

They're your friends!

- Sam, I know that you think

the entire world revolves around you,

but I don't need to stay on a phone call

to just be harassed so-
- Really?

How many times have you
called me in the last week?



- You hear just a little intake of breath

rather than a verbal response

and she waits for you to say
what it is you're going to say.

- Did you go into any galas or parties

or anything with Tectonya Karkovnya?

[dice rolling on table]

- Um...

You hear a long moment
of silence on the phone.

And I'm gonna ask for a
persuasion check from Sam,

but I'm gonna let you tell me.

Yeah, give me the persuasion check first.

[die taps table]

- That's, uh, oh God, I can't do math.

Seven plus...


- You hear a little bling

on your phone as a contact
gets shared with you.

And you

hear from your mother,

"I remember being a teenager.

One day you're gonna be able to appreciate

everything I did for you.

I'm sorry you're upset.

I'm sorry your friend died.

You know that I wouldn't have wanted

any of those things to happen to you.

And you putting that on me is an attack.

And if you can't recognize
it as that, then so be it."

- You know, maybe it is an attack.

But at least it's not neglect.

- In a very painful bit of irony,

rather than responding to
that, Camille simply hangs up.

- Oof.

- I look at the contact.

- It says Lola Embers who
you recognize is a agent.

Is just like a [laughs]

- Not my former agent, right?
- Not your former agent, no.

You don't think your mom is
that close with this person,

but you've heard good things about Lola.

She reps Zelda's boyfriend.
- Oh, cool.

Maybe sometime I'll show
him respect, anyway...

[Brennan laughing]

- Why start with him?
[Rekha gasps]

- You are not here!
[group laughing]

- The shade-
- You are not here!

- Boom!
[players cheering]

- Here.
- Nice try.

I love you, too, b*tch.
[Brennan laughing]

- Yeah, so you have that contact.

- Okay, should I call do we
want to move to the next, like.

- Let's go ahead.

Yeah, you can call her
right now, yeah, absolutely.

- Okay, I don't even
text first, I just call.

- [Brennan] Cool.
- Don't even text.

- You just give a call
and you hear a voice say,

"Um, hello, is this, this couldn't be.

Is this Sam Nightingale?"

- Yeah, do you already have my number?

- I have everybody's number, sweetie.

I've been waiting for
this call for a while.

Listen, it's so great to hear your voice.

I'm in the park right
now, my dog's gotten away

but just tell me whatever
you need me to know.

[players laughing]

- Is your dog gonna be okay?

- Oh God, Rover!

You hear, you think she's at
a dead sprint but she's like,

"Please, I've been waiting
for this call for a long time.

How can I help you?"
[players laughing]

- You've been waiting for this call?

- Yes!

Listen, I know people,
I heard half your party

was gonna graduate, congratulations.

So I know that you're
gonna be looking for work

and we wanna, you know, listen,

I know that you went
to those bard classes.

I wish my other clients
went to those bard classes!

[players laughing]

- [sighs] Um...

Do you know Tectonya Karkovnya?

- Oh, oh, actually you know
what, I do, I actually do know.

I mean, know her for many, many years,

but I knew her when I was younger.

I met her at this, it was
funny, I was in a group

of Genasi women, I can put you in touch.

- Okay.
- But I'm Fire Genasi.

And just, it was a networking thing.

There was like a gym and there was a room

where they would have brunches.

And they had people come
and talk and it was great.

They're still doing it, you should go!

- Okay.
- 'Cause you can't act forever

you know, so it's good.

You want to think, when am I
gonna transition to producing,

to directing, we're gonna have a talk.

We'll have a lunch.
[players laughing]

- Okay.
- Okay?

- [Persephone] Okay.
- Wonderful, I love it!

So Tectonya, I knew her.

She was base civic.

She came in and talked

because she had done adventuring things

and she was a big
benefactor so she was great.

Love her, I loved her to death.

She went missing 12 years ago.
- Yeah, I heard that, yeah.

- Yeah, I remember that.

She, oh, there was a party
and there was some real sh*t.

There was this human woman,

one of those really pinched faces,

lemon faces, blond, tight bun like-

- Charity
- Yes, Charity.

Oh, she gave her some dirty
looks at this meeting.

They were talking about some things.

They both worked in government
and I was like, listen,

I'm trying to be around nines and 10s.

I'm not gonna work in
government, you know?

[players laughing]
- It does seem very fair.

- There was this, yeah,

it was one of the last
parties I saw her at.

But yeah, it was this woman.

It was like some weird government feud.

It's like, someone didn't get
a grant or someone's bill.

I don't know politics.

I haven't voted in years.

I actually can't vote.

The important thing is this.
[players laughing]

- Are you a felon?
- Of course, yes!

- Okay.
- Listen, if you hear rumors

about me just remember, I would
do anything for my clients,

and that goes for you, too.
[fan slaps open]

- I stan, I love her.
[Rekha laughing]

- When do you want to have lunch?

- Oh my God, whenever!

Listen, I gotta find my dog.

I'm in the lake right now so I'm-

- You're a Fire Genasi!
- I know.

I actually can't see anything.

It's steaming like hell in
here, I'm shvitzing, listen-

- I'm going to help her with her dog.

- [Brennan] Oh.
- Oh?

- What?
- I literally,

I'm a Water Genasi, I
can breathe underwater.

I'm going to go look for her dog.

- Cool, you have your lunch today.

I'm just gonna say you go to
the lake, fully find her dog.

The dog is swimming in the lake, you find.

So there's just like you having a lunch.

Lola has the chunkiest glasses,
huge jewelry made of like,

big, primary color blocks
and just a little short thing

of fire on her hair and she goes like,

"This is incredible, I'm so happy.

So listen, what are we interested in?

Movies, television, crystal dramas,

where are you on social?"
- [chuckles] Crystal dramas.

- Do you think I can even do that now?

No one knows, uh...

- No one knows.

You know what?

They don't know and they never know.

That's why they depend on people like us

to tell them what to know, okay?

And we're gonna tell them to know

that you're the biggest thing
since sliced bread, sweetie.

- It's been a long time since a show.

[warm instrumental music]

- It's a distant memory.

We're talking about the new Sam, sweetie.

That's what I'm talking about.

And we're gonna cut from
there to Yelle in the park.

You cast Speak With Plants.
[mimics magic swooshing]

You see one of these beautiful
maple trees in the park

looks over at you and goes,

[inhales softly] "Can
you hear me right now?"

- Yeah, can you hear me?

- This is crazy.
- Crazy.

[players laughing]
- This is crazy.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- How you doing?
[Brennan sighs]

Is it, you know, okay
being in this kinda like,

cold, corporate hellscape?

- You know, on the one hand it's like,

it would be awesome to be in a forest.

But on the other hand,

I've literally never been
anywhere else 'cause I'm a tree.

You know, I'm just here.
- Hell yeah.

- Hell yeah. [exhales softly]
- So, I was wondering,

I'm trying to find out
about a copper Genasi.

- Yeah.

- I don't know if you heard
the name Tectonya Karkovnya?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Went missing about 12 years ago.

Can you tell me anything?

We're trying to find her,
it's this whole thing.

- Yeah.

[inhales softly] My roots remember.

[chimes twinkling]
[groovy music]

Sorry, can you give me that
question one more time?

- Uh...

[group laughing]

Tectonya Karkovnya.
- Tectonya Karkovnya, yes.

- A copper Genasi, maybe had
like some sort of a tablet.

You know, she was an adventurer.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She had to, she left in a hurry.

I remember 'cause her pace is.

And you see that the tree actually like,

you feel a little flicker
of motes of pollen

going up from the grass in the footsteps

that Tectonya took 12 years ago from here.

- [Rekha] Whoa.

- Leading away from this place.

And I'm gonna say that you

could absolutely follow those footprints.

- Oh my God, yes!
- Oh my God.

- It is not visible to
other people around you,

but you can feel the pollen
coming up from the grass

as she leaves and you
see that the tree goes,

"Yeah, yeah, I mean the
grass doesn't remember,

but their ancestors told
stories of those footsteps."

[Becca laughing]
- Oh wow.

- That was passed down from
generation to generation.

You know, I feel so sad.

Grass just doesn't live
that long. [sniffles]

- That sucks for them.

- But it's beautiful, it's beautiful.

- It's okay, it's beautiful.

Like, you know, Japanese have that saying.

- Yeah.
- Mono no aware.

It means things end.

And like, they're beautiful
for having ended, you know?

[Becca whimpers]

- If the price of
existing is impermanence,

sign me up every time.
- I'll take it, I'll take it.

- Sign me up every time.
- That's it, thats that stuff.

- Wow, okay.

- Thank you so much for your time.

I really appreciate it.
- Thank you for-

- Is there anything I can get you?

- Oh, you know what?

A little bit more nitrogen in the soil

would be sick as hell.
[players laughing]

- f*ck yeah!
[Brennan laughing]

- Yeah, you have no problem just like.

- [Erika] Cool, yeah.

- He's like, oh, that's awesome.

That's been a while, the park's-

- Everybody loves a
little boost of nitrous.

- Yeah, exactly, that's
what I'm talking about.

What are hands?
- But literally.

- f*ck.
[group laughing]

- Yeah, I have no
knowledge of the subject.

- Like, could you explain it?

- I will get back to
you on that, my friend.

- Amazing.
- All right.

- And then she goes off after footprints.

- Goes off after the footprints, exactly!

And we are gonna cut to Antiope.

- Hi, I am walking back.

I realize I have burnt my shirt to death

and I'm now trying to
cast Pass Without Trace

on my tr*mp stamp, but
I believe it's visible.

- That's the only way to remove a tattoo.

- Yeah, don't know if that works,

but I have burnt all of my
spell slots accounting it.

- Remove curse at this point for that one.

- Remove curse. [laughs]

- Oh, I'll take some of that, yeah.

- Does that work for like, bad,

if you see something something
in there you're like, no!

Remove curse.
- Incredible.

You arrive at the Ministry
and are led through security.

Again, even just the last name Jones,

much like Katja dropping her dad's name,

but you see that you're already
on the appointment list.

You're brought up through the Ministry.

Definitely very
underdressed, you're a kid,

but you walk into a room.

Huge corner office with
both corners full wall glass

on a high building overlooking
Bastion City, large desk.

You are brought in by an assistant

and then walking in is Charity
Blythe who walks in and says,

"Miss Jones, pleasure to see you again

unaccompanied this time,
I appreciate that."

- Yes, uh, yeah.

- You're wearing a sports bra.

- Oh!
[players laughing]

- I was so excite- it was
the price of being alone.

Let's just, we can leave it at that.

- Splendid.
[players laughing]

- Can someone get me a?

Excuse me, and I turn to the assistant.

Can I get like a shirt?

- Yes, you see that
the assistant looks out

and you see that Charity
actually looks at you and says,

"Oh," pulls open a little drawer and says,

"Actually, one moment, I actually do have.

This is very funny.

I don't know if it will
be the correct size."

And you see that she says,

"Preston, do I still have that
Aguefort Adventuring Academy

hooded sweatshirt somewhere nearby?"

- Oh, um, can I have
something that didn't have,

like, that doesn't have my
high school thing on it.

Like I would just, you
know, I'm trying to like,

feel a way about my
future and that's, I just.

- Of course, very well.

You see Preston looks at
you and says, "Absolutely."

[sensual dance music]
- Oh, oh my God!

I'm not gonna stop him, but
I will look embarrassed.

- Wait, what does Preston look like?

- [cheers] Want some Preston.
- Two questions.

The first one is, one, is he hot?

- Preston is a very attractive young man.

You see that he looks very sculpted,

but he's got some Clark
Kent kind of glasses.

- [Players] Yes!

- [Brennan] Takes the shirt.

- Drenched, absolutely drenched.

- [Brennan] Takes the-
[fan flaps open]

- Just to make the sound again.

- You see takes the, you see-
- Does he smell good?

- [Brennan] Give me an insight
check actually real quick.

- See if he smells good.
- Give a smell check.

- Uh, he smells like sh*t. [laughs]

- 16.
- 16, I would say this.

Preston takes the shirt off.

You see that he has,
for being a very proper,

corporate looking guy has
a large chest piece tattoo

of four horses drawing a chariot.

And you see that Charity
does not look surprised

at seeing that tattoo.
[players screaming]

- Okay, Charity.

- Preston, Charity and
yet a rival, got it, good.

- Yeah, you see he hands you the shirt.

- What a horrible tattoo!

- Hey, we have something to talk about.

- Sorry, sorry.
- Says Rekha.

- But we know that that was out of game.

- Says Rekha and not Katja.
- Yeah, yeah, me.

Katja goes. [shudders]
[players laughing]

- So Charity looks at you and says,

"Genuinely very excited to have you here.

Preston is going to prepare
the initial paperwork,

and I am just so very grateful

that you'll be joining the
Ministry of Adventuring.

We've had Joneses working
for the Council before,

but never directly for the
Ministry of Adventuring.

Do you have any questions, again,

about what it is that we do here?"

- Um, yes, please start again.

It was a very weird day.

- Of course, of course.

Well, to remind you, the
Ministry of Adventuring

oversees the governmental response

to the adventuring industry.

The largest export of the Nation of Solace

is our adventuring parties.

And the Ministry interfaces

when various Solesian
adventurers start wars

or collect treasure and oversees
the complex interrelations

between the Court of Stars
and the Council of Chosen.

And also attempts to foster
a pro-adventuring attitude

both here in Solace and abroad as well

by keeping adventurers accountable,

by making sure that our
Adventuring Academy is up to snuff,

and also by making sure that
our adventurers are equipped

to represent the Nation
of Solace adequately

and without causing
any unnecessary strife.

- Okay, [clears throat] cool.

So what exactly would I be
doing in this internship?

Am I like, fighting, what?

I don't, no one explained.

- In this internship you
will learn the basics

of providing security
to the Council of Chosen

and to Ministry agents and bureaucrats.

And you will also be, at
the end of your internship,

either at the, well, should
your internship conclude

at the first year, it is likely

that that will be the end of
our collaboration together.

But should your term be extended,

you may find avenues opening up

into various pathways
of work for the ministry

be it security details,
enforcement of adventurer bylaws,

and perhaps even more
prestigious pathways than that.

- [Rekha] Nice, bylaws.
- Mm, hmm, riveted.

- Are you familiar with
the term, ipsos custodes?

A shortened version of the term?

- Uh...

- Who watches the watchmen.

- Yeah, oh, oh, okay, okay, okay.

- So there are certain
adventurers who do adventuring

and then there are other adventurers

whose task or adventure is more focused

on those other adventurers.
- Like a snitch.

[players laughing]
Like a snitch adventurer.

You're not disagreeing.

If I said it in Latin, would
you be more okay with it?

- Ha, ha, ha, a jape.
[players laughing]

- [Brennan] Antiope-
- What did you call me?

[group laughing]

- You see she says,
"Antiope, I am not unfamiliar

with the term used.

Is accountability not
an important virtue?"

- I mean, I guess, but

isn't trust also important?

- If we would have accountability

then we must have systems to
enforce that accountability.

I would be interested in what
solutions you can imagine

to this problem other than snitching.

[Becca chuckling]

- Like divination magic.

- Oh, we employ that.
- Oh, ooh.

Okay, no, this is, I don't
have any problems with this,

and I'm very excited to get started.

- Amazing, I'm going to excuse myself

and go see that your
paperwork is being collected.

- I can work with Preston on it.

You don't have to bother.

- She gets up and walks out of the room

and gets on her phone
and you can kind of see,

actually give me a
perception check real quick.

- Yeah!
[die taps table]

Natural 20!
[warm tones resound]

[Rekha claps]
Let's go!

[players cheering]

- Don't offer it if you don't want it.

- [laughs] Let's go!

- Come on, Brennan, what are you gonna do?

- Oh?

- So there was a thing
I wanted to give you

and then I'm gonna give you the thing

that I didn't want to give you.

- Yay!
- Yay!

- The number one thing is you
see her taking out her crystal

and she's stepping out of the room.

You see that she's about to call your dad.

She's getting Hector
Jones's phone number up.

- Snitch!

- And number two, her
work computer is locked.

Her work crystal is locked,
but you do see on a side table

that maybe she was distracted

while Preston was taking his shirt off

or something else was happening.

- Yeah.

- She has a tablet that's
unlocked next to her desk.

You look at a government computer,

immediately clock that you are breaking,

oh, a very big law right now.
- Oop.

- But Arthur Aguefort's voice ringing

in the back of your head.
- Yeah.

- You look in here and see,

probably prompted by your
conversation earlier today

with Katja being like, "What
did you contact my dad about?"

She has Tectonya Karkovnya's file open.

And you can already hear Preston

beginning to walk back to the office.

But you very quickly see a name here.

And the name is The Legendarium Extrordia

And the The Legendarium
Extrordia is a unique artifact

that was a necessary component
of the Ministry's work

tracking, literally tracking
quests in the world.

And you connect it to that
thing you saw in the mirror.

You see it was one of a kind

and that it was stolen by
Tectonya who apparently,

even though she was
Superintendent of Schools,

had top-level clearance within
the Ministry of Adventuring

before she disappeared.
- All right.

- She was a top-level snitch.

- You see in Tectonya's file,

they marked her for assassination.

- Whoa.

- But they don't know where she went to.

Cool, all of you,
[lively music]

I'm gonna say reconvene,

but Yelle was following the footsteps.

Yelle, do you communicate with everybody?

- Yeah, I send a text
and I say, I'm following.

- Should you do text or
disappearing voice memo?

- Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, we have audio.

We have audio communication.
- Or a communication.

- [Brennan] You also can
communicate which is like maybe-

- Just so there's no paper trail.

- You're welcome.
- Secret mirror.

- Handmade, one of a kind-

- Yeah, Penny has to mention
that every f*cking time

someone leaves a message on it.

- I'm not a gift giver usually.

I was really excited about that.

- [Brennan] Yeah, amazing.

- I am following in Tectonya's footsteps.

And here's my location.
- What?

- Does she mean she wants

to become a superintendent someday?

- Danielle, you're so much better

than being a superintendent!

- I'm gonna say that all of
you are able to converge.

And just to sort of move
us in this direction,

Sam, your lunch concludes.

Lola is so excited.

She's like, listen.
- Uh-huh.

- I'm gonna get working, I'll be in touch.

- Okay.

- Very exciting things are
afoot, you'll see, okay?

[Brennan smooches] Love you-

- Don't tell my mom,
just don't tell my mom.

- Oh, you and your mom are not?

- No.
- Okay.

[laughs] Well, your mom's
not booking, sweetie, so...

[players laughing]

- Okay, I like you.
[Brennan laughing]

- The rest of you come from the museum,

converge, Yelle's there.

- Hold on, I just want a
vibe check off of Preston.

Just like, what's good.
- Okay.

- I did say, hi, I'm just trying to like-

- Cool, give me a charisma check.

Give me like a persuasion
check here real quick.

- So unreasonable to screen one man.

Okay, okay.

- f*ck, what if it was a nat 20?

They would have to kiss.
- It would be, yo.

We'd be married, 17.
- Someone has to f*ck.

- 17, so you see as you, so
you get that information.

You get that message
from Yelle on the mirror.

What's the move here, Antiope?

- Oh God, oh god, I
gotta go find the others.

Hold, I'll be.

Hey, hey, what's up?

Like, that's a very cool tattoo.

And I just completely give up.

- Did he not replace his shirt?

- Yes.
- [Brennan] No, he has not-

- I'm not taking it off, I have buttons.

- You see he looks at you and says,

"Oh, thanks, I appreciate it.

[soft instrumental music]

Hey, if you like the shirt,
[clicks tongue] hang on to it.

- I turn bright red.

- He f*cked Charity.
[fans flapping]

- It's true.
- It's fine.

- Who cares, another
woman's sloppy seconds

is another woman's treasure, okay.

- Yeah, acts of service,
again, my love language, wow-

- So you know that your friends
are hot on these footsteps.

Do you wait for Charity to return

or what is it that you're
gonna do in this moment?

- Oh, f*ck.

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna leave.

- You planted the seed.
- Fully, you,

you've looked at the tablet,
you fully dip, you are gone.

- [Isabella] For the first
day of your internship?

- Leave a note, leave a note!

- Did you get Preston's number?

- I didn't, I panicked, he winked.

- [Isabella] She knows where to find him.

- Okay, so do you, what
if anything do you,

like, in other words, I'm asking-

- Hold on, no.
- Do you burn this bridge

and bail or what is it that you do

'cause your friends are hot on the trail.

- Okay, no, I'm not gonna burn the bridge.

I will yell as I run out
of the office to Charity

who's on the phone to my dad and be like

I have to pee really badly, really badly!

And I just run to the
bathroom and then get back

with the girls and let
them know what I saw.

- Cool, I'm gonna say all
information gets shared.

You are all convening.

- Do I stay, should I go, what do I do?

- I think you gotta stay.
- How hot is he?

- He's so hot and he smells really good.

- Stay.
- Okay.

- You kinda gotta stay.

I know I'm like on the
opposite end of this,

but like, she got mentioned by Lola.

She had a fight with Tectonya at a party

before she disappeared so like...

- [gasps] Yeah.
- You gotta find out.

- We need to know more about her.

- And remember how I said
that Aguefort was saying,

"Oh, they're watching."

It's the snitches, the
snitches are watching.

- And you said that the internship,

you could learn about
bylaws and stuff, you know.

Bylaws seems to be a buzzword-
- Okay, you're right.

All of those points were good

to have shared in the
group and I'm proud of-

- If anything interesting
happens, we will video call you.

- Okay, thank you.
- You can be our snitch.

- Oh wait, wait, wait, one more thing.

- Okay.
- Totally might be unrelated,

but Eidolons are a super big deal,

and they were trapped in the mirrors.

Might have nothing to do with Tectonya.

We'll talk about it later.

- So Antiope, you're in the bathroom.

Your friends all give you
permission to stay here.

Your friends may well be journeying

to the Mountains of Chaos without you.

- Oh wait, if they start going like-

- Yeah, you guys get to
the edge of the city.

Tectonya left left.
- Oh she's gone gone.

- Oh my gosh.
- You gotta come with us,

make a good excuse, you'll be back.

- Say you have diarrhea.

- Do you what you need to do.

- Yeah, that works for Katja every time.

- I mean, do we have to leave right now?

- Yeah, my mom was gonna make a casserole.

- [Persephone] We could wait an hour.

- Or 12 casseroles.

- We gotta go, you can
f*cking do you, okay.

This is the year of doing you!

- But I want, I don't, okay, um...

- Come with us, you
clearly wanna come with us.

Just come with us and make a good excuse.

Say you'll be back.
- Okay, I'll lie.

- No one will ever ask
you if you have diarrhea

if you say you have diarrhea.

Not one soul will ever ask you about it.

- I walk back in, I
Druidcraft a sh*t smell.

- Oh God!
- Great.

[Erika laughing]

- I'm having a very bad day.
[Rekha laughing]

- Roll deception with advantage.

[players laughing]

- Natural 20.
- Natural 20?

- Oh my God!

- Charity sees you walk into the office.

Before you finish the
sentence Charity goes,

[gags] "You are excused, you
are excused for the day."

- Thank you, thank you!
- You're excused.

- Please tell me Preston doesn't see you.

- Please no please, please.

Natural 20, please let him be so gone.

- On a natural 20 Preston does see you.

- No!
- sh*t!

- And he likes it, the
filthy dog, he loves.

- You see he looks at you and goes,

"Hey, I have bad stomach stuff, too.

- Stop it.

- I'm there with you, it's hard."

- I mean, okay, goodbye.
- And I support you!

You run off.
[players screaming]

You sprint out of there
and join your friends.

- Did it work?
- I'm in love!

And what, where are we doing?
- Where are we doing.

- Did it work?

Did you tell them you had diarrhea?

- Yeah, and I sold it.
- f*ck.

- I don't want to talk about it.

- Incredible, f*cking incredible.

- That was a really good idea.

- Yeah, and my dad taught me that.

Just say that you have diarrhea
and no one will ask you.

- Yeah, there was no follow up.

- Are we ready to do this?
- I don't know.

- I'm so f*cking ready.

Let's get this GED.

- As Antiope is sprinting,
your magical kicks

having you bound down the street,

like leaping over
crosswalks in a single bound

as you sprint after your friends.

What is Antiope feeling in this moment

as she runs away from this brass ring?

As she runs away from this
shot at her familial legacy.

- Correction, I'm not
running away from anything.

Antiope's running to the
people who gave her the thing

that she, like, all she ever
really needed was to be excited

and to siphon off that bit
of anxiety about knowing

that she was gonna go
up against her parents

who she loses in verbal battles with

every day of her entire life.

And she got the thing she needed

so she's gonna go be with
the people she cares about.

- Your heart fills as you
run towards the object

of your heart's desire.

- And I'm for sure gonna
smash Preston, let's go!

[players cheering]

[Aabria laughing]
- Okay, yeah, yeah.

[fans flapping]

- As you get to the edge of
the city civic neighborhood

and it becomes very clear, Yelle,

as your Speak With Plants
begins to sort of wear off

that the plants are
talking and you are aware

of fungal and root networks going out

as you get to the city where plant life

starts to become more and more prevalent.

These footsteps do trace
past the borders of Solace

into the Mountains of Chaos.

It's one of those weird things
with like radar coming back

where the plants are communicating

in their little root network so it's like,

how far do these steps go?

And they go and they bounce
back and they're like,

they went at least this far,
they went at least this far.

But it takes longer and longer
for those messages to return

so it's almost like a
slowing heartbeat of like,

farther, farther, farther

until you are certain
that wherever she went,

she needed to get out of Solace.

The last thing on that nat 20
in the room I will give you

is not only what you learned
about the Legendarium Extrordia

but I will also say, since we
gotta reward nat 20s folks,

that you were able to
click through into it

and see the basics of how to operate it

should you ever find it.
- Yes!

- [Persephone] f*ck yes.
- [Isabella] Oh sh*t.

- Antiope, you join with
your group of friends.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Yelle did this amazing thing

and talked to a tree and now we're here!

- So checking in.

Obviously we don't have to
check in with the school,

but are we doing this?

- I already got my gear.

- Okay, I know this
isn't really important,

but I really want to know
what level quest this is.

- Let's f*cking go.
- Yeah!

- Just one way to find out.
- Ooh!

- Spice.
- Spicy.

- And you head out from here.

We move through the, first,
honestly, there's a portion

that's like [hums triumphant
fanfare] of you guys

like walking past fantasy Wawas

and the suburbs of Bastion City
of like your glorious quest-

- I get a sandwich.
- Yeah, let's stop in there.

- You stop in there, get some hoagies.

- Should we stop somewhere?
[Brennan laughing]

- You continue moving through past-

- I have to pee.
- Danielle pisses herself.

- [Brennan] Yeah, exactly.

You begin to cut through the
wilderness pretty quickly.

- [Rekha] I have a question.

I've got Cinnamon with me.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.

- [Rekha] Is everyone on Cinnamon

with me through the forest?

- You see Cinnamon goes,
"Oh, my Mistress Katja,

do you wish for your
friends to ride as well?"

- I wish for everyone in
the whole world to ride you.

[players laughing]

- Cinnamon squints her eyes and says,

"I may not be able to grant that wish."

By the way, as Cinnamon
says "grant that wish"

some hairs on your arm stand up, Antiope.

And Sam, you feel like your little mirror

kind of get cooler a little bit.

But you see Cinnamon goes, "This
wish at least I can grant."

♪ Beautiful horse song magic spell ♪

And Cinnamon begins to perform-

♪ Riding ♪

[Brennan laughing]
♪ Riding and riding ♪

♪ Riding is magic and
friendship is power ♪

♪ And love is everything to everyone ♪

- Where does she come up with this stuff?

- I can see why you love her.

- She's an incredible songstress!

- You see-
- A powerful bard.

- You see appearing in swirls
of magic, Cinnamon calls out

and there are these
gleams of light and says,

"Candyheart, Starforge."
[players laughing]

Taffodil, Alagonia, Strawberry Dancer,

and Snowfire, appear!

- I cry openly.

- Incredible.

- You create and you give and you give

and I can't ever give you
anything in return. [smooches]

- [Brennan] Amazing.
- Oh.

- I'm so sorry to break everyone's hearts.

The horses have been preassigned.

- Oh, okay, okay, okay.
[players shouting]

How'd we do, how'd we do?
- What, why?

- It's okay, that's fine.
- I'm so sorry.

- It's okay!
- It's fine.

It doesn't break any of our hearts.

- Leave it to fate.
- It's cool.

- It's all right, I
want to know who I got.

- The horses each pair up with someone.

Danielle Barkstock gets Snowfire.

- Wow.
- Ooh.

- [Brennan] Sam Nightingale gets Taffodil.

- That's all right.

- [Brennan] Antiope gets Alagonia.

Katja of course riding Cinnamon.

- Yes.

- [Brennan] Penny gets Candyheart.

- [gasps excitedly] We got traded.

- [Erika] Strawberry Dancer.

- [Brennan] Ostentatia gets Starforge.

- Well, that makes sense.

- Zelda gets Strawberry Dancer.

- And Zelda gets Strawberry Dancer.

- You're such a Strawberry Dancer, Zelda.

- Oh my God, that's so...

Are these horses from the books?

- In the series, "The Babysitter Horse"

[group laughing]
about a horse that babysits

and it's the book number 12,
she starts booking so many kids

she can't babysit them all herself.

So she has to employ some of her friends.

And these are all the friends' names.

If you read 100 through 200 books,

there's even more horses there,
but we don't even have time.

- You see Alagonia next to Antiope says,

"On my planet I'm a princess."

- I scream.
[group laughing]

- [Brennan] Incredible-

- Oh, really quick, the
hairs on my forearm,

I gotta Nair that sh*t, this is wild.

[players laughing]

Goes off, can I cast Primeval Awareness

while Cinnamon is spitting bars?

- Yes.
- It's a really long song.

- I will say, the horse song is beautiful.

It does take a full 15 minutes.

It's the unedited version.

- It's one of those, like, Tolkien songs.

- It's like a "Freebird."
- Yeah.

- Oh yeah.

- [Brennan] Like wow, this takes a while.

- Free Horse.
[Aabria laughing]

- Free Horse!
- Oh my God!

- [Aabria] I want to give
you something about that.

- Play Free Horse!
- Play Free Horse.

- Play Free Horse.
- Primeval Awareness you cast.

This would register to you as Primordial.

- Oh.

- Like, you cast Primeval Awareness.

This is when you guys are
getting close to the border.

Something is out there in the mountains.

- And we're in the forest, yeah.

- [Brennan] You're in the forest.

- Okay, so this my favored terrain, too.

- Yeah, something is out
there in the mountains.

You sense something ancient
waiting for you out there.

[wind howls ominously]

- Cool, cool, cool.

- Everybody here mounts up.
- This is the best day ever!

- You are perfect, you are perfect.

I don't tell you enough you're perfect.

[group laughing]

- Katja, I understand
you so much better now.

- I know, right?
- Yeah, yeah.

- Are we all horse girls?

- I feel like we just, I feel
like I taught you a language

or something and like,
everybody gets Horse now.

- I like the horse.
- Okay, Ostentatia-

- Wow.
- Okay, mark my words-

- Okay-
- That was huge!

- Hey, mark my words, hey,
hey, end of the night,

you're gonna love the horse.
[group laughing]

- Okay, listen, I don't want
to force anything on her.

How do you feel?

- My name is Starforge.

I came from the heart of a dying star,

born of a wish to be a horse.

The star wished to be a horse
and became me, Starforge.

My magic is centered around
the magic of horseshoes.

[Aabria laughs]

- Great.
[group laughing]

- Ostentatia, I bet you
$20 by the end of the night

you will f*cking love your horse.

- Listen, don't threaten
me with a good time.

[Brennan laughing]

- Would you like it better
if we put a bunch of like,

gemstones on it or something?
- Let's go.

- You all move-
- Here's the tears.

- You all begin to move through and pass

into the Mountains of Chaos.

It's several days of traveling.

You've all done this before.

You know, you have a
druid and a ranger here.

Traveling in the wilderness
is literally like,

Antiope's abilities are
literally like, this is fine.

There is food for everybody.

Danielle literally has the
ability to make shelter

for people in the wilderness
as you're traveling.

Go ahead though and give me a,

I want a group investigation check.

We're gonna call it DC 15.

[dice tapping table]

- 19.
- 14.

- 24.
- Woo-hoo!

- 24, 19, so we need to get
four out of seven so 24, 19.

- 19.
- [Brennan] 19.

Sorry, what was that?
- 19.

- [Brennan] 19.
- Eight.

- We're focused.
- That is still four.

That is four out of seven that beat a 15.

You travel through the
mountains for several days.

The Mountains of Chaos get more ruinous.

And you're past the borders of Solace now

so you begin to find old ruins.

A lot of the buildings
here are sort of long gone.

There's a lot of monsters
in this part of the world.

About two or three days into the mountains

you're still following
Tectonya's footprints.

It becomes really clear
to you, Ostentatia,

Tectonya was headed straight

for the Temple of the Earth Defiant.

- [Isabella] Mm-hmm.

- You know the coordinates of that temple,

and you draw and closer there

and begin to even find pilgrims' pathways.

On foot it's another two days.

On your horses probably still
a long, long ride on horses.

You could get there in a day,

but there should be a village

about a little more than a day away

on horseback from the temple.

It's just called Pilgrims Pass.

It's a little place that
pilgrims would stop in here.

And turning the corner in the mountains

to look down at Pilgrims
Pass you see ruins.

There is no village there anymore.

There are the burned thatch
of what was on the roofs,

the sort of circular stone
hovels of the village

and bleached white bones
scattered throughout the village.

- White bones.
[Aabria chuckles]

- [Aabria] Interesting.

- Wow.
[players laughing]

- Wow, Brennan.

- Does anyone use any
abilities in this moment

as you approach the village?

- Your tone seems very pointed right now.

What's gonna happen there?

- [Brennan] Or just, yeah-

- I definitely want to rock some survival

just to get a lay of, like-

- Give me a survival check, yeah.

- I want to do an arcana check
to see what kind of magic

did this destruction, if any.
- Okay, yeah.

- Can I see what kind of bones these are

with an Animal Handling or something.

- These are the bones of people

- Oh, they're bones, cool, okay, great.

- 18.
- 18.

What did we get for arcana?

- 30
- Wow!

- Ooh, my God.
- Holy sh*t.

- You're a God, I think.
- He opened a tome-

[Becca vocalizes angelically]

He opened a tome for 29.

What is this gonna be?
- That's true, that's true.

- So what could we roll?

- Yes, everyone can roll a
skill check, whatever you want.

- Ooh, I got, for history I got a 26.

- Amazing, 18 on survival
check you find tracks.

You can't tell if they're cats or dogs,

but some kind of beast, easily the size

of like a large cat like a
tiger or something like there.

But more than four legs.
- Ooh!

- Vibes, recency.

- The bones have been
bleached for a while.

They were here a long time ago.

Not much precipitation here.

These prints have only been
disturbed by wind over time.

Most people wouldn't even know

that they were prints here anymore.

You find one print, same species

about that big.

- Big pogo stick.

- The fact that it's that
much larger makes you think

that these things, you actually
clock them as monstrosities.

These are unnatural.

History was a 26?
- Yeah.

- You know the history
of Pilgrims Pass is,

this is a place that's
been here for a long time

for travelers that are headed
deeper into the mountains

to come and stop by and be safe here.

Oh, I'll give you something
on a history check.

This place wasn't protected by magic.

It was protected by a small
community of blink dogs

that used to live here.
- Aw.

- Blink dogs are small, teleporting dogs.

They're very friendly to people.

They are gone from here.
- No!

- And we don't know, same thing,

where it's some time ago kind of thing?

- Some time ago, yeah.

Any skill checks over here?

- Yeah, a 22 on nature.

- Something unnatural is going on here.

You detect not only the
presence of whatever,

like, you clocked these monstrosities.

You get up on one of the thatched roofs

and pull a feather from the roof made of

natural material

but like plant material like
a feather made of plant stuff.

- What the f*ck?
- Oh God.

- The vibe registers to you almost as Fey

and not of a benevolent kind.

Ostentatia, skill check from you.

- I didn't do one.
- Cool. [laughs]

- I'm just hanging out.
- Sam.

- I got an 18 on insight.

- This was not a hunting,
this was a slaughter.

The people in this town
tried to put up a resistance

and these things came
here to destroy them.

Penny, you got a 30 on your arcana.

[Becca gasping]

- She's cumming.

- You walk in-

- Someone's not a maiden anymore.

- Oh.
- Hold on!

- Oh my God, she's losing
her virginity right now!

- I feel something, I feel something!

- Oh my God!
- Oh my God!

- I've done something horrible.

[players laughing]

- Zelda's holding onto the
horses, and the horses look-

- She's holding her horses.
- Frightened.

[players laughing]
She's holding her horses.

- Candyheart is a pony
actually 'cause I'm very small.

- Oh, that's right.
- Oh!

- I'm like no, it's fine.

- You, on a 30 arcana walk
into one of the hovels

which was sort of the central long hall.

This used to be both a tavern
but also like a meeting hall.

This place kind of predates

the kind of tavern
culture of other places.

This place in the Mountains
of Chaos it was like,

this is the main building
where the town goes, right?

And you see scrawled in
broken Common on the wall

in the blood of humanoid creatures.

- Yi-yah.

- The Queen reigns in these mountains.

She rules the skies.

Only she may see and
none may see themselves.

You were told to destroy the seeing glass

and you did not obey.

On a 30 you look at the word seeing glass

and see that there is a hide

stretched over a mound

in front of the writing.

There's a bear hide stretched
over a mound on the writing.

You sense that there's
something under there

that might be magical or significant.

- I rip away the bear hide.
- You rip away the bear hide.

Thousands of mirror shards,
all there on the ground.

- Oh my God.
- [Brennan] You get a-

- So many friendship bracelets.

- I'm gonna say Penny says that out loud

and you hear a voice say,
"And who could be my friend?"

And the mirror shards fill with eyes.

[gasps] Who am I looking at?

- I cast Friends on it.
- Ooh, nice.

- Go ahead and give me a persuasion check.

- You can't hurt friends.
- It's a spell that is.

- 11. [laughs]

- Says-
- Wait!

Let me use luck to reroll.
- Yeah do a reroll.

- [Persephone] Oh yeah.

- And doesn't Friends give you advantage

on persuasion checks?
- Yes it does, yeah.

- [hums] A persuasion?

So for the duration you have advantage

on all charisma checks.
- That's persuasion.

- That's what that is.
- Oh my God.

Okay, but that's only 16.
- Great.

We're gonna call it there.

She looks at you and says,
"Well, you just seem so lovely."

- I am!
[Brennan laughs creepily]

- Where are you right now?
[player groans]

- With my friend, you, mirror
person. [laughs manically]

Yes darling! [laughs manically]

Somewhere.

You see that the eyes
dart around the room.

Oh, I recognize this hall somewhere.

Pilgrim's Pass, not very far away.

No, not at all.

Kurraghran, how far
away are we from there?

- And you hear, [snorts] "Oh, quite close,

your majesty. Quite close.

You took the hide off the looking glass.

I'm afraid there's only
one reward for doing that.

I'll see you very soon, my little friend.

Very soon indeed.
- Okay.

- And the eyes disappear.
- Hey you guys!

- From the mirrors.

- Bette Midler in "Hocus Pocus."

- Oh, yes.
- Absolutely, absolutely.

- Oh my God, Bette Midler's
trapped in a mirror!

- Bette Mirrorler, nope.
- You guys, come in here,

but let me warn you it's scary.

- Oh God.
- We go, yeah.

- You sure?
- I did a bad.

- No, what did you do?

- Okay, so if you were to feel a bunch,

like a lot of arcane
energy under a bear hide,

just tell me what you'd do.
- You take the bear hide off.

- No!
- Run.

- Okay, some of us agree some of us don't.

I took the bear hide off
and now whatever evil queen

that's written about in blood right here,

she knows we're coming.

Do we go faster or slower?

I think there's an evil queen.

I'm sorry you guys, I
should have asked you first.

- A queen, queen what?

- Fey, this is something Fey.

- That makes sense with
these weird-a*s animals.

- What is Fey?
- Faerie.

- Oh.
- Like bad, janky Faerie.

- Oh...

- Yeah, not the good ones from the books.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I'm so temped to open the mirror up

and see exactly who we're dealing with.

- Primeval Awareness.
- One more thing...

- [Brennan] Primeval Awareness?

- Yep.
- A group of monstrosities,

a pride, probably 50 or


through the mountains towards
your village right now.

In addition to that,
there is a Fey presence

leaving with them as well,

coming straight for Pilgrims
Pass, coming right for you.

- It's about to get really bad.

- I will also say this.

The Fey presence that's coming,

you feel in your Primeval Awareness

that this is beyond deadly.

Five of these things would
be a real big challenge.



You sense the unnatural
presence of these things

and remember a fact
that Ostentatia learned

about the Temple of the Earth Defiant.

- No monstrosities.

- Oh, this is, you...

- We gotta climb, we gotta climb!

- [Aabria] We're standing
our ground, we gotta go!

- We gotta climb!

- You all mount up.
- [Rekha] Mm-hmm.

- Head out, it is hours of hard riding,

and the entire time you are riding

you feel the monstrosities getting closer

with Primeval Awareness
behind you, closer and closer.

The Fey things are flying.

They've taken to the wind somehow.

As you being to ascend you get to the area

with the actual temple in it.

You're going up and up and up.

The horses are leaping up through.

You get to the top.

As you get to the top
you look down behind you

and see the monstrosities beginning to,

like coming up the cliffs behind you

as you start to ascend.

They are some enormous combination

of displacer beasts and blink dogs.

They have the coloration of blink dogs.

They're these large, six-legged panthers

with these long tentacles
coming off of them.

Overhead you hear the
horrifying caw [caws shrilly]

of things flying in space and you look up

and see a flock of harpies.
[Becca gasps]

Fanged faces of women
with wings instead of arms

and talons instead of legs.

- We're the only harpies around here!

- We're not harpies, we aren't.

- Yeah, that's a very
gendered term, I feel.

[Brennan laughing]

- Okay, but these b*tches
aren't misunderstood.

And I'm like, pulling out my bow.

- What you basically see is,

you have gotten to this temple
just in the nick of time.

The amount of these
creatures coming after you

is in the dozens, however
only the fastest of them

have gotten to the front.

So in other words, you
see these monstrosities

have been moving through the mountains.

They are teleporting.

They fully have the displacement
ability of displacer beasts

and the ability to
teleport short distances.

So that's how they'd been
closing distance with you

even on these supernaturally fast horses.

You guys finally ascend to the top.

You see there is one of
these ethereal beasts

down below you that is the
size of an elephant, enormous

covered in plated armor going,

[snarls] "Your majesty,
we have found them!"

- Oh no.

- And leaps after you.

I'm gonna need everyone
here to roll initiative.

- [cheers] Let's go, yeah!
[player shouting]

- f*cking finally.
- We're gonna fight?

- I didn't know it was that kinda show.

- Is this lighting intentional?

- Yeah.
- Oh, right.

- They get real cute with it.

- I'm like, oh my God,
giving me a headache.

- We're gonna go around
and we're going to announce

our initiatives here real quick.

What did Antiope get?

- Eight.

- [Brennan] Antiope got an eight.

What did Katja get?
- Six.

- [Brennan] Katja got a six.

What did Penny get?

- 25.
- Penny got a 25, incredible!

What did-
- 19.

- [Brennan] Yelle got a 19.

- One.

- [Brennan] Ostentatia got a one.

- [Becca] Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

- [Aabria] With bonus?

- Do I use it?

Bountiful Luck!

- No, only use it, like, oh wait.

- [Isabella] Whatever.

- I automatically get
to reroll one for free.

I have three luck-
- [Brennan] Or sorry-

- I can go at the end of the order.

- Bountiful Luck only uses once

so that's an interesting thing.

You can use luck for yourself
a bunch of times, but-

- I'll get you later.

- You need someone at the back end.

- Yeah.

- The caboose, the long caboose.

- The long caboose.
[players shouting]

- [Brennan] And Sam, what did you get?

- I got a three.
- Sam got a three.

For the very first time, Dimension 20

would like to direct its
players attention to TaleSpire,

our digital battle board.

We'd like to show you the
Temple of the Earth Defiant.

- Ooh.
- Let's go.

- Oh!
- Holy sh*t!

- [Becca] Oh my God, we look beautiful!

- [Persephone] Look at our horses.

- [Aabria] Alagonia, let's go.

- Wow.
[dramatic instrumental music]

- [Becca] Candyheart,
you're even more beautiful

than I ever imagined.

- Cinnamon, you remain beautiful.

[players laughing]

- [Brennan] The fall down
is a real steep drop, g*ng.

- Oh, that's bad

- [Brennan] And then there is the sanctum

of the Temple of the Earth Defiant.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
- Whoa.

- [Becca] [gasps] The three
little, the three women.

- [Aabria] That's one of
the ones I wrote down.

- [Becca] Asha Hammerheart,

Yvonna the something and Kora Ironbrow.

- [Aabria] I wrote down Mackenzie

'cause I did not clock the middle one.

- It's Yvonna.
- Yvonna.

- Wow, that was beautiful, well done!

- Yeah!
- [Brennan] Tremendous job!

[group applauding]
- That's cute.

- You're about to k*ll us.
- Gorgina.

- Your horses will all
act on your initiative.

I will tell you right now,

your horses all have supernatural speed.

They all have a speed of 90.
- Shut up.

- So these horses are very, very fast.

But you are in deadly pursuit.

These ether beasts are right behind you,

these combination, these
strange monstrosities

that seem to have combined
blink dogs and displacer beasts.

And the temple harpies overhead.

They do seem to again be a combination

of like, harpies with
leaves in their wings.

There is some strange magic going on here

in the Mountains of Chaos.

Let's go ahead and all of
you slot into TaleSpire.

- Hold on, y'all, does my eye
makeup match my f*cking horse?

- It does!
- Oh my God.

- Wait, that's really cool.
- I didn't know.

- These horses are hardier
than normal riding horses,

but they are not tanks.

These horses are incredibly fast,

but need to be protected.

They're gonna get you
to where you need to go,

but they are not the toughest
creatures in the world.

You are being pursued by ether
beasts and also Kurraghran,

this giant armored ether beast behind you.

And harpies are descending on you as well.

- Look at this monster, oh my f*cking God.

- You can see the initial harpies

coming in from the other direction

floating over the first bend.

- [Aabria] Oh, yes I can.
- As you all begin to look

you see the monsters pursuing you.

You see the board ahead of you
with the harpies descending.

The harpy queen calls out saying,

"Ah, very well.

It seems we've caught you
just in the nick of time."

[Brennan laughs manically]

Like you had heard about,
Ostentatia, many times before,

looks like these monsters are going to try

to prevent you from getting
to that temple sanctuary.

Penny, you are gonna be first to act.

- Oh, you know it!

Penny is going to, over her shoulder,

sh**t a spell to create
bonfire on the ground behind me

in front of that ether beast coming at us.

And then I'm about to dash on this horse



- Amazing, and if all your
horses are doing is running,

remember that your horses have
action and movement as well.

So your horses can
actually go up to 180 feet

if they use their action and movement.

So Penny, your action, you are
going to cast Create Bonfire

with your action.
- Yes.

So that thing behind us is
gonna need to make a dex save.

- You're doing it right underneath.

- Like behind us at the
top of the thin portion

that the ether beats are running through

so that all of them would
need to run through fire.

- Got it.

Okay, so Kurraghran is going

to make his dexterity saving throw.

Difficulty here is going to
be, for Penny is gonna be a 15.

On a five, Kurraghran fails.

- Yes, let's go!
- Ah-hah.

- Go ahead and roll damage
for me if you'd be so kind.

- Oh, that's 2d8 so here we go.

Nine.
- You. [mimics fire sh**ting]

Penny, scintillating arcane
magic moves forward from you.

Kurraghran. [snarls]

He screams out in pain.

Any movement from you or bonus actions?

- Well, my bonus action,
I've got cunning action

so that's pretty sweet,
but I'm on horseback

so I don't think I can
translate my bonus action

to dash again more than 180 feet.

- You could if you jumped
off the horse, but yeah.

- No, we're just gonna
run, we're running for it.

Look at me galloping. [laughs]
- Aw.

- Oh, I didn't move,
I didn't measure sh*t.

- [Brennan] No worries.
- Let me get back here.

[Brennan laughing]

- Come here you Penny, sit.

- Oh, there you go, so
yeah, right around there.

- Giddyup, Candy.
[players cheering]

- You're flying, we love it.

Next in the initiative order

is going to be Danielle Barkstock.

- Right, let's see how this works.

Danielle turns over her
shoulder as she's galloping

and she calls out, "Aid us!"

And does Summon Fey.
- Incredible.

- Or what is, no, wait,
it is Conjure Animals.

Conjure Animals!
- Conjure Animals, great.

And what animal would you like to conjure?

Or yeah, what challenge
rating, I should say, yeah.

- 1/4, and there's going
to be eight of them.

- Amazing, great, great, great.

- Can I choose?
- Yes, well, what would you?

Go ahead and give me a nature check.

- 23.

- Yes, you may absolutely choose

from challenge rating 1/4 monsters.

Go ahead and tell me what type of animal

you would like to pick.

Or I can give you a list of
animals to pick from as well if-

- Oh, I got something.

- Oh great, what would you like?

- So Danielle calls over her
shoulder. [mimics goose honk]

- This pisses Brennan off.
- The most powerful.

[players laughing]

- And a flock of geese.
- Yes!

- With the stats of raptors.
- Oh!

- [Erika] Touches down.

Just they swarm the
displacer beasts behind them.

- These creatures appear.

They all have pack tactics, astounding.

- That's great.

- So I'm gonna say at
where you summoned them,

four of them can make
attacks on the main guy,

and then you can pick how
you want to spread them out

amongst the other four ether beasts below.

- I'm going to tell
them to swarm a creature

until it is dead.
- Just, okay, cool.

You want to tell them to swarm the king

until the king is dead?

Swarm that Kurraghran?

Amazing, so they swarm around-
- Oh, and, I think as a bonus.

- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.

- I'm going to cast Bear Spirit.

So Danielle calls upon the
strength of the tiny things,

the ants that can carry multiple
times their body weight,

the beetles that will drag
an entire bird away to eat.

And they lend her strength so
that she and all her allies

including the raptors get


- [Brennan] Oh my God.
- Whoa!

- And advantage on-
- Us too?

- Strength checks and saves.

- And really importantly,

I mean, it's great for
you as player characters,

you just about doubled the
toughness of your horses.

- Whoa.
- Dang.

- [Brennan] That's huge.

- And so all the attacks

that the raptors do are magic as well.

And I think they get extra
'cause of Mighty Summoner.

- Yes, do you wanna look up?

- Yeah, +6 'cause that's
two times their hit die.

- Incredible.
- Never make Yelle mad ever.

[group laughing]
- Yeah.

- Okay, so Danielle, I'm
gonna need you to roll

'cause they have multi attack,
these velociraptors, right?

- They do with advantage
'cause they're all maxed up.

- Okay so you wanna go ahead
and make 16 attack rolls for me

with advantage real quick?
- I do, I do.

- Do you need extra die?
- [Erika] Just real quick.

- Wow, do you need die?
- Let's see, what do I got.

- You're gonna have to roll
all of them two at a time

so you know how to pair them.
- Oh, that's right.

- 'Cause you have to be able
to pair them for advantage.

So what's gonna happen is this,

we're actually going to move on.

You're gonna roll.
- Yeah!

- You take a half hour,

you figure out what your geese are doing.

- Well, she could just get
us to safety at this point.

- Just call it good, they're all dead.

- You're enough of a distraction, right?

- [Aabria] I ride off to victory.

- I told you I'd do it, Brennan!

- So you're gonna go ahead,
roll eight bite attacks.

Roll eight claw attacks.

I'm just going to give you the armor class

and let you do the math and
tell me how many times you hit

so you're gonna do some
bookkeeping for a moment.

- God.
- Yeah.

- Played myself.
- You've played yourself here.

Your geese get a +4 to a hit.

Kurraghran has an armor class of 16

so they're gonna hit on 12s or higher.

You are not rolling with
advantage until you hit.

So in other words-
- So if one hits then-

- If one hits then you start rolling

with advantage after that.
- Copy.

- Easy.
- Yeah, you got this.

- Yep, you got it.
- Please continue.

- Yes, now you make your, oh, actually,

is Danielle moving on this turn or no?

- While she's doing
this she'll keep going.

- Do you just go up to
move up alongside Penny?

Cool, Erika, whenever you're
done rolling those attacks,

you let me know.
[Becca laughing]

Zelda Donovan is gonna go.

She doesn't have ranged stuff

so she is going to ready an action

if anything comes near her,
and Zelda is gonna move up

alongside her companions on the bridge.

Temple harpy number four
comes screeching in.

One of the temple harpies
leaves the queen [screams]

and is gonna come right after
Zelda, Penny, and Danielle.

And actually it's gonna be two harpies

coming after both of you.
- Disgusting.

- That turn triggered Sam.
[players laughing]

Not okay.

- From Penny, Danielle,
and Zelda, I'm going

to need wisdom saving throws
for you and your horse.

The horse adds a +2 to this saving throw.

- So I roll eight-
- Eight.

- Eight sets of, well, one single 20

and then seven hits.
- Hits.

'Cause they do the multiattack thing.

- Right, so then I still
have to do eight more

for the other attack?
- Oh my f*cking God.

- Oh wait, sorry, you hit on
seven out of eight attacks?

- Yes.

- So yeah, then they're all gonna...

[players laughing]

Go ahead, they get the same bonus.

- It's this season.
[players laughing]

Gotcha b*tch, gotcha b*tch.

- I got you!
- Yes, yes!

- Legend, legends!
[players laughing]

- Wow, druids!

Go ahead and roll, and of course you hit

so now you are rolling with advantage.

Go ahead and roll another eight attacks.

You're still hitting on 12s or higher,

but you're gonna roll
these eight with advantage.

- Amazing, I'll just keep on rollin' then.

- [Brennan] Keep on rolling.
- Please continue.

- You got seven bite attacks.

You keep rolling, let me know
how many claw attacks you get.

- [shouts] What happens if I crit?

[Persephone laughing]
- [Aabria] You know.

- Just mark it down, just mark it down.

Just fully mark it down.
- He does double damage.

- [Aabria] This pleases me greatly.

- I have no idea what's going on.

- Ninth level play, ninth
level play is what's going on.

- Pure unadulterated
joy is what's happening.

- [Brennan] Yeah.

- People play 20 levels?
- Mm-hmm, mm-mm.

- God, it's just rolling forever.

- [Brennan] Incredible
- Yes! [laughs]

- So wisdom check for you and your horse.

- Here's the thing about that.

Maybe I should use some luck on it.

- If you want.

- Okay, I'll spend one of my luck.

- Okay.

- And wait, that die is in trouble.

This one's good, you're good.
- Cool, cool.

- Okay, so that's a 14 plus my wisdom.

So I have 18, but Candyheart only has six.

- Candyheart got a six,
you got an 18, cool.

Sorry to interrupt the
rolling happening over there,

but for Yelle I need the wisdom saves

for you and your horse.
- Oh, wisdom saves you say.

Oh man, yeah, what is the DC?

- Oh, well, just let
me know what you rolled

for you and your horse.

- An 18 and an 11.
- Okay, great.

- And then I am +9 wisdom so-
- Perfect, you're good to go.

So we're gonna do some damage real quick.

Ooh, 19 damage to Candyheart.
[players gasping]

- Hold on, hold on.

I can't allow this to
happen to Candyheart.

Does my Uncanny Dodge

apply to Candyheart when I'm riding her?

- I will say that your love
for your horse in this instance

I will allow a bending of the rules

so that you can Uncanny
Dodge in which case Zelda,

Strawberry Dancer,
Penny, Candyheart, Yelle,

and Snowfire all take nine
points of psychic damage.

- Okay, that was my reaction for the turn.

- Oh, remember you have
the temp hit points, too.

- Oh yeah.
- Yeah!

- So do the horses.
- And the horses.

- And the horses.

- So, how we doing on attacks
over here, are we good?

- Okay, so seven bite attacks made it.

- Cool.

- And then five claw attacks
made it plus two crits.

- Wait, two of the five are crits or?

- Plus two that were crits.

- So Erika,
[players laughing]

You know, I, I, I, I, I, I,
I, you, you, you try, you try,

you know, you try your best
and you forget the rest.


going to be, you said that's

five so it's actually gonna be 9d4.

Erika, please roll 7d6 plus 14

plus 9d4 plus 14.

- Oh, plus 14 plus 9d4 plus 14.

- If it helps you to think about it,

just think about it 7d6 plus 9d4 plus 28.

- [Erika] Uh-huh.
- Amazing.

- That helps not even a little bit.

- Yeah, I was like, that
doesn't help me at all.

[Brennan laughing]
- That's a 36 and a 34

which is...
- 36 plus 34.

And have you added the
fourteens in yet or now?

- Yes.
- Okay so 36 plus 34 is 70.

So let's just go back and
narrate what just happened here.

- Four hours later.
- Yeah.

- Oh God, what do I do?

- So Danielle, you call to the sky

a group of incredibly
aggressive geese. [honks]

Kurraghran says, "You think a
flock of birds, what the f*ck?

[screams] And their beaks are
magic, the beaks are magic!"

Deal 70 points of damage to
what would have otherwise

been a very terrifying monster.

It's a f*cking armored tentacle tiger

the size of an elephant.

- Yeah, but it hasn't met birds,

[group laughing]
has it?

- Not these birds.
- Amazing.

- You didn't think about
birds, did you, Brennan.

- I literally, I will never
not think about birds again.

- Think about birds.
- Think about birds.

[Erika mimics geese honking]
- Incredible.

- There's an entire movie
about this, Brennan.

- [Brennan] I know.
- Okay, now we can go home

and talk about our drama some more.

- Yay!
- Amazing, amazing.

So one harpy comes down, [shrieks]

shrieks at the three in the
lead, deals you psychic damage.

Another one comes down and shrieks

in some kind of weird
dissonant harmony with itself

almost like some weird version of singing

with multiple voices, and
I'm gonna need another round

of wisdom saves.
- Uh-oh.

- [Brennan] From each
of you and your horses,

from Penny, Danielle, and your horses.

[Becca gasps]

- This Candyheart sucks at this.

- It's a pony! [laughs]
- It's 'cause she's a pony.

- I had 21 and Candyheart got 10.

- Sorry, it's science,
it's science, ponies are-

- Maybe you could have
made it a full-size horse.

- No, a pony feels right for me!

- Okay, a pony is not a baby horse.

How many times?
- Wait, it's not?

- [Rekha] I don't think it is.

I think it's a different thing.

- It's a different thing.
- No they're different things.

- No, different species.
- Yeah, okay, great.

So it's a pony.
- [Brennan] Incredible.

- [laughs] Yeah, I think we're
all saying the same thing.

- Okay, so Penny got what?

- 21 wisdom saving throw
and Candyheart got 10.

- 10, and what did Yelle and Snowfire get?

- That is an 11 and a 10.
- 11 and a 10 so horse got 10?

- Horse got 10, yep.
- Horse got 10.

- Cool.
- Horse got 10.

- Horse got 10.
- All of the maidens

up in the front that are
riding, you are fine.

All of your horses fall unconscious.

[players gasp]
Yeah, they are-

- Katja screams a bloodcurdling scream.

- Don't worry, don't worry.

- Not from injury but from a sleep effect.

- Oh, okay.
- The song lulls them to sleep

but they all skid and go prone

which means they're gonna have
to use half their movement

to get up on their next turn, right.

The other two harpies begin
to fly down kind of hovering

up above the bend of the bridge

with what looks like readied actions

almost like to meet the
rest of you charging down.

And then the Harpy Queen is going to go.

- Oh no.
- Oh no.

- [Rekha] She's probably nice, right?

- [Aabria] I see you,
baba-looking b*tch, I hate her.

- [Persephone] She's fine.

- By the way, I just
did an acrobatics check

to see how I fell off the horse.

It was a 26 so I did
like a triple handspring.

- Holy sh*t, we all clap.
[players clapping]

- Yeah, it's fine, just don't die.

[group laughing]
A 10.

- And she places gold!
- Tens, tens, tens.

- Tens, tens across the board.
[Becca mimics crowd cheering]

- Amazing, I am going to
need dexterity saving throws

from Penny and Danielle.

- So okay, but I did an
acrobatics check and it was sweet.

- I believe, yes, 100%.
- Remember, she got a gold.

- I mean, okay.
- Ooh, just straight dex?

- [Brennan] Straight dex.
- That was a four.

- A dex check or a dex saving throw?

- Dex saving throw, sorry,
dexterity saving throw.

- 18.
- 18 here, four from Yelle.

We're gonna roll for Zelda here.

Zelda succeeds, okay.

That's not gonna be good.

Yelle, you take 45 points
of lightning damage.

You, I believe, have evasion, correct?

- Probably, yes.

That's a thing it sounds
like I would have.

- Double check if you have evasion.

- Yes, half damage on
dex saving throw stuff.

- Zelda is gonna take 22
points of lightning damage.

You would have taken 22
but instead take none

as the Harpy Queen [shrieks] screams

and lets loose horrifying lightning.

You flatten yourself
and get out of the way.

- Like no movie anyone's
seen, I bend backwards

as the lightning goes above me.

[Aabria laughs]
- Yes!

- [Brennan] Yes.
- Dang.

- And then the Harpy Queen
is also going to move closer

towards the spire sort of like keeping,

like staying far above but keeping up

with the progression of those in the lead.

That is now going to be these
ether beasts behind you.

- Oh joy.
- The ether beasts behind you

are all actually going to
use their teleport abilities.

- Uh-oh.
- Vibes.

- To bypass the geese altogether.

Actually, you know what, no.

They'll take swings.

They'll take swings from these geese.

- Yeah, you know you want
another round of these geese.

Just bypass.

- Is anybody burning through my fire?

- No, that would take their full movement.

No, no, no, no.
- That was really 2d8, two.

- So the four that are left up there

which are Ostentatia,
Sam, Katja, and Antiope,

an ether beast appears behind
each one of you, teleporting.

And each is gonna only
get to take one swing,

but they're taking them
all on your horses.

- Oh, beans.
- Oof, no.

- If you do anything to
Cinnamon, I will get you.

- I will remind Katja of
the Mounted Combatant feat.

- [Rekha] Mm-hmm.

- If you want to bone
up on that real quick.

- Yes, while I'm mounted
and am not incapacitated

I have advantage on melee attack rolls.

- And I believe you can redirect attacks

on your mount to you.
- I will do that.

- Of course you would.
- Of course you would.

- Of course I will. [laughs]

- Please hurt me, not my beautiful horse!

- If you hurt Cinnamon one
hair on her head I'll die!

Remember, if she dies I'll die.

- If she dies I'll die.
- If you die-

- As you brush her bangs.
- Yeah [laughs]

- Bonus action, I brush her bangs.

- I mean me.
- Okay.

- Oh, she'd look great with bangs.

- She would look so good.
- She should try some bangs.

- When she goes through a breakup

she always gives herself bangs.

[players laughing]

- It's the fact that
she gave herself bangs.

That's the one that gets me.
[players laughing]

- You clang one of the tentacles away.

The rest of everybody's horses

take eight points of damage up there.

So Starforge and Alagonia
and I believe Taffodil.

- How very dare you.

- All take eight points of damage

as they snarl and come after you.

And that is now, that is
the ether beasts' turn.

Antiope Jones, that is you.

- Oh God, do I deal
with this stupid beast?

No, I believe in my little princess

and will take the OA
and just start galloping

in the direction but I am lining up shots

on the Harpy Queen.
- Hell yeah.

- Nice.
- So first up,

bonus action Hunter's Mark.
- Hell yeah, of course.

Boom, done.
- And then, okay,

we've got two arrow shots.

The first one I'm going to
use my Dragon Slayer bow.

I have to take that -5 in order to try

to do some like, crispy sh*t.

It's a 25 to hit.

- Wait, what effect are
you using on the Harpy?

- Oh, I am using the wing
shot on the Harpy Queen.

- Incredible, I believe
you also have sharpsh**ter

so long range imposes
no disadvantage to you.

- Yeah!
- You are super golden.

- Does that stack?

Like, do I have to call my sharpsh**ter?

Oh, no, no, no, okay, sorry.
- You can do both.

So if you want to do sharpsh**ter
you could do both of them.

- I don't want to bring that down to a 15.

- [Brennan] Cool, cool, cool.
- That's a bit much.

- So your Dragon Slayer bow allows you

to perform a wing shot which means

that she has to make a con saving throw.

This is gonna be a DC 17.
- Okay, cool, cool, cool.

That's fine.
- This is huge

because if she fails this by five or more,

her fly speed goes to zero.

But I'm actually, sorry,
I'm going to be terrible.

- No, do the thing.
- I'm gonna do the thing.

- Burn your abilities, I don't care.

- Did you see what Erika did to you?

- I know.

That first arrow goes off, she shields

and the arrow, dirty 20 misses
because she casts shield.

You can see it would have hit otherwise.

- I Counterspell.
[Brennan gasps]

- Yeah!
- You are not-

- Am I not in range?
- You are not in range.

- Dang it.

- For Counterspell at the
moment, great thought.

- That hurts me on a deep level.

- [Brennan] You were ready though.

- Yeah, I appreciate you though.

- [Brennan] Incredible.
- So I just full-a*s miss?

Okay, okay, okay.
- Okay it's a full-a*s miss

on the first one, but no resources wasted.

You still have Hunter's Mark
up so you have another attack.

- Yep, second one, 28 to
hit, sorry, minus five, 23.

Same thing, wing shot,
I'm f*cking done with her.

[Persephone laughing]

- 23 exactly hits.
- Yes, yeah!

- [Brennan] 23 exactly hits.
- Yes, okay.

- Even with shield up.

Okay, this is definitely Box of Doom.

She has to make a constitution
saving throw DC 17.

If she fails it by five or more

her fly speed goes to zero.

- Oh!
- Yes!

- Harpy Queen, I need
you to stay in the air.

- [Persephone] Don't, just don't.

- [Aabria] Respect.
- Harpy Queen, eat sh*t.

- Okay, I'll just say what we are all-

- Thinking.
- Looking for.

I don't want to say anything out loud

to give too much info to the PCs,

but I'm gonna let the
audience at home know

what the Harpy Queen adds to
a constitution saving throw.

Okay, here we go, DC is 17.
[dramatic instrumental music]

[die taps Box of Doom]

Okay.
[Becca laughing]

Sorry, what is the exact wording of that?

- Of that thing?
- Oh no.

[players laughing]
- We broke DC.

- I have to look at the exact...

This is what I get for homebrewing items.

- Yes!
- If you fail by five or more.

[Rekha gasps]

Because she failed by exactly five.

- Yes!
[players cheering]

- f*ck yeah!
- Antiope,

[mimics galloping] on this horse.

First arrow. [mimics arrow slicing air]

- My fan's on the floor.
- Oh no!

- [Brennan] [laughs] Oh no!

- [Isabella] Double fans, not fair!

- Erika!
[players laughing]

- Erika, you're gonna die!

It's too much!
[players shouting]

- Oh wait, I found it.

- There you go.
[fans flapping]

So Antiope galloping forward.

First of all, let's take a quick shot.

As your horse moves
forward the displacer beast

misses an attack of opportunity.

[Aabria sighs in relief]
You go back for the arrow,

knock it, first one,
[mimics arrow slicing air]

the Harpy Queen throws
up a shield, arrow ping.

[shrieks] It will take more
than that to strike my heart!

But of course you're
not going for the heart.

The second arrow, thoomp,
crack into the shoulder,

breaks the joint, she's got one wing left.

Her fly speed goes to zero as
she pinwheels out of the sky.

- I would like to add a
little more insult to injury.

- Please go for it.

- I look over as she falls
and I want to make sure

it's a grasping arrow so
brambles just wrap around her.

She's got a long time to fly

and I want to make sure she hits.

- Go ahead and roll for
damage, yes, absolutely.

- Oh my God.

- 20, it's only 20 points
of damage, but yeah.

- That's still incredibly hefty.

I'm gonna go ahead-
- Here's the thing.

It takes the 2d6 slashing
damage the first time

on each turn it moves one foot or more.

So is it just taking it as it falls down?

[Brennan laughs]

- [sighs] As the Harpy Queen
is hit with the wing shot,

loses her fly speed, oh no!

You see grasping thorns go.
[mimics thorns striking]

This spell that punishes whoever you mark,

it's a spell meant to punish a creature

that tries to get away from you

and it's punishing a creature

that can't stop getting away
from you because of gravity.

- That's f*cking incredible!
[players cheering]

It's like acceleration,
it just keeps compounding.

- I'm just leaned up and
looking down like, hey girl.

- I'm gonna go ahead.

- I'm taking a video for Preston later.

- Thank you!
- You look incredible!

- I'm gonna roll one last
dexterity saving throw

to see the direction that
the Harpy Queen falls in.

I'm not gonna be cruel 'cause
you f*cking nailed this.

So what we're gonna look
at here is the Harpy Queen

has a +2 dexterity saving throw.

I'm gonna make it a DC, you know what,

we'll mirror the effect of the wing shot

so it's a DC 17 for her
to get to a surface.

If she fails it by five or more

it is a straight drop to the bottom.

She's just out of the
air, there's no momentum.

This is basically reflecting
her momentum as she's flying.

So if she can slope in and hit
a cliff wall and cling to it

or if she goes straight down.



but make it somewhere, right?

If she gets a 15 or higher,
she makes it to a place

without taking falling damage.

If she gets a nine or
lower, that's all she wrote.

Box of Doom.
- Doom, Doomy, baby, my love.

[players cheering]
Be good for me.

[dramatic instrumental music]

- That is going to be, hold on a second.

- You can have one, it's fine.
- No.

- No.
- You get nothing.

- You get nothing.
- Good day.

- I'm gonna let you know.
- Uh-oh.

- This is the dopest thing
that's ever happened.

I just rolled a natural


- Oh.
- Oh f*ck.

- [Brennan] I'm gonna say this-

- Oh no.
- All right, all right.

You get one as a treat.

- So she lands right in front of you like,

[mimics wind rushing]
has to emergency land,

go directly there on the
ground, has lost her fly speed.

And as she descends is
now just sitting there

in front of you, looks up-

- [Aabria] Well, she's
right in front of me?

- [Brennan] She's right in front of you

as you're riding towards her.
- Sir, can I action surge?

[Erika laughing]
- Yes!

- Yes!
- Yes!

- [Erika] Oh my God!
- Yes!

- Go ahead and give me, yeah,
you action surge, absolutely.

- Ostentatia's like,
doing her nails I think.

- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, no, take your time.

- No, no.
- [Brennan] I f*cking love it.

- [Rekha] 103.

- Oh, is her shield still up?

- [Brennan] Her shield is still up.

- Okay, so only one of them hits.

- You hit, okay, you hit with
another arrow, absolutely.

- [Aabria] Yeah.

- [Brennan] You see that
she is like clinging on

to the edge of the wall there.
- Yeah, okay.

- You still have your Hunter's Mark.

- Yep.
- You have the grasping arrow

on her, go head and roll
damage for this next attack.

- Yep, yep, yep, she takes
another 12 points of damage.

- As another arrow goes past her.

She screams out in horror.

- Oh no, it's +10 'cause of sharpsh**ter.

- Oh, you do +10 damage to her?

- Yeah, yeah, +5 for a +10

'cause I don't want to use
that other minus fives.

- Another 22 point of damage.

She is looking badly injured.

You did 26 damage on the
first one I believe, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, and on this next one

you did-
- 22.

- 22, and she also moved
'cause of grasping arrow

so that's another-
- 2d6.

- [Brennan] Go ahead and
roll 2d6 as she moves.

- Oh, that's fine, another five.

- Oh my God.

- You've done 53 damage to
her. [mimics arrows sh**ting]

[players clapping]

She screams out in horror and pain.

- I'm like almost a goose.
- 10!

- And the Harpy Queen.
- Okay, stop.

- Flightless, covered in
blood looks as Antiope Jones

just gets more arrows for the ready.

We zoom in on your face set
with grim determination.

You will get your friends to this temple.

And that's all for this
episode of Dimension 20.

[players screaming]

[Brennan shouts]

- We end every episode with screams.

- [Brennan] Yes.
- Yeah, as it should be.

- Friend is dying, #dying.

- How do you feel about like, flying?

- I always wanted to be a flying horse,

but I didn't want to be a Pegasus.

I didn't want those big wings.

You see a massive ringed hand grasp him

and stick his very soul

into a furnace brighter than the Sun.

[players laughing]
[Brennan screaming]

- You're the saddest horse I've ever seen.

- He's a pony.
- He's a pony!

- Oh, then you're the
happiest pony I've ever seen.

- [Brennan] [shrieks] You
are seized in two talons

and lifted up into the air.
- Guys, friends?