- They're gonna try to pull it
out of the dream realm, the Golden Door.
- Yeah.
- This is bad.
- We need to get everybody
that we know in on this.
- [Brennan] David is...
Bitten on the neck.
See Esther looks up,
and her eyes start to go
silvery milky. [gasps]
- I'm sorry, David, I
gotta let you down again.
And I cast the Remove Curse on her.
- You hold the questing blade.
And this blessing is yours,
if you'd claim it.
- I shall claim it.
- So I guess I just choose
myself to be the chosen one?
- Boom!
[sound of expl*si*n]
[Emily laughs]
Incredible night out here at New Year's,
we're about to see the ball drop.
There is a very real chance
that the world will
change forever tonight.
This is as bad as it could be.
This is the hour.
This is it.
[imitates expl*si*n]
[imitating slow voice] Happy New Year.
[imitates magical expl*si*n]
At the center of the hurricane's eye,
the Golden Door opens,
you see
the American Dream begins to emerge.
[dramatic music]
Welcome back, one and all
to the climactic battle
of The Unsleeping City!
Our intrepid heroes,
say hi, intrepid heroes.
- [Everyone] Hi, intrepid heroes.
- Have found themselves
back where it all started
in Times Square, New Year's Eve.
The ball drops,
the time stone,
fused with Robert's phylactery,
[imitates magical blast]
as it hits and shatters,
time suspends.
The Umbral Arcana seized
and stopped by the sabotage
of Robert's vampire minions,
[imitates whooshing]
flickers and all of
those unable to perceive
the Unsleeping City
are, whoom, whisked away
whereas you, [imitates whooshing]
are seized in a maelstrom,
orange and red and black smoke,
the eye of a hurricane stretching up,
boom, high above the Golden Door opens,
the paragon emerges.
You are within the spell
powered by the time stone,
this matrix of energy and force
is both the same and
intertwined and beside
and behind of the power
of Robert's phylactery,
as his soul attempts to wrest
the power of the paragon.
You watch the Dream move to
the threshold of the door.
Beyond the threshold,
the paragon that moves
here beyond the Golden Door
looks like many things.
A flickering dream.
Only that which the
beholder would make of it.
What do all of you see
as you look at that dream
before it crosses the threshold?
Because none of you see
the exact same thing.
- This is our version
of the American Dream?
- That's correct.
Prosperity, hope, what lies
behind the Golden Door.
- I see choices,
I think that that's the
American Dream for Rowan,
and for Misty and all of the people
that I have been before,
is the luxury of choice,
of being who you want to be
and also changing who you are.
[imitates whooshing]
- Freedom incarnate.
All the various lives
that you could have lived
and will, if you are successful, get to.
[imitates whooshing]
What does everyone else see?
[soft music]
- I think Kugrash sees a...
A time,
he sees a time when he took his family
to a baseball game.
And they're all having fun in their family
and he's not thinking
about material things,
but it's like, back in the 80s,
and for that moment,
he has his thing.
[imitates whooshing]
[sound of bat clinking]
- [singing] Ba-da-da-da, ba-da!
[normal voice] Charge!
[imitates roaring crowd]
[soft music]
[quietly] What do the rest of you see?
- I think Ricky sees
like an immigrant's journey,
just like, coming to the United States
and having the drive to make
a better life for themselves.
- Statue of Liberty, boat full of people
dreaming of a better life.
Early Christmas with your mom and dad,
who are that story, of
people who came here
and made something of themselves
and the life they made
for you and your siblings.
[imitates whoosh]
[quietly] What else?
[soft music]
- Think Sofia sees love,
just getting to love who you want,
how you want,
without other people getting in the way.
[imitates whooshing]
- You almost think you can see Dale moving
as the shape of the dream,
but many other people too,
and the people that they
would be free to love.
Freedom.
Again.
- I think he sees
the process of his transition
and how shocking it was,
when a door would close
and it would, someone would be like,
we don't know what you're talking about,
or that's not included in your insurance,
people like his doctor that he loves,
that's like, oh yeah,
I can do that. [laughs]
- You see transformation,
the ability to become
who you know you are,
and the people who have the
courage to help you get there,
and you see Lugash
moving towards the door,
smiling at you.
- Lugash, I wish you were
magical, you're so strong!
[Emily laughs]
- [Russian accent] Peter,
I am magical.
- What?
- [Russian accent] I don't
know, it feel right to say.
- Okay. [laughs]
You're a liar, and so am I,
so that's why we get along. [laughs]
[Emily laughs]
- Kingston sees sacrifice,
and, you know, mothers and fathers,
toiling, working late hours
so that their children and
those people's children
and their families can
have the opportunities
to thrive.
- The Dream hits the threshold, boom.
Kingston, the last thing you see
are the flickering faces of all the people
you have known who have made this
a place worth living in.
And that breaks
[sound of cracking]
and fades as it steps through,
and must become one thing
and one thing only.
And you see the tendrils
of Robert's spell,
and the infection set in.
The Dream warps, convulses,
has its last moment where
it could be anything...
And begins to take a
solid stationary form.
- Please be Donald Trump,
please be Donald Trump, [laughs]
- You see
what had been many different forms
becomes humanoid in shape,
a beautiful man,
tall--
- No, no.
[Siobhan laughs]
How big are the hands?
[Siobhan laughs]
- Quite big.
- Oh, okay.
- [Zac] Is that Stephen Sondheim?
- [Brennan] No, it's not Stephen Sondheim.
[laughter]
Wouldn't that be incredible
if he was the villain the whole time?
- Yeah.
- Ooh, that is--
- No, you guys see
a tall, clean cut, square-jawed,
blond haired, blue-eyed man, energy--
- It's the f*cking Protestant work ethic.
[laughter]
- Appears, hovering in the air above you.
[imitates whooshing]
This shape and form,
[imitates whooshing]
appears, floating in the air,
and surveys the cracked sidewalks,
the debris in New York has been sucked up
into this, it's sidewalks
and buildings and things,
[imitates whooshing]
swirling, and fractal imaging
collapsing and opening.
This Dream appears
in a single, solid form.
It surveys what it can see of the city,
the sidewalks, the subways,
the buildings, the billboards,
and in a resonant voice goes,
[echoing] this place is
filthy.
It stinks here of
urine
and excrement.
Vomit.
Decay.
This
is a wicked place.
I
would see this
changed.
[imitates whooshing]
- It's Taxi Driver!
[laughter]
- Mr. DeNiro--
- [laughs] It's Robert DeNiro!
- You guys see that, whoom,
energy surrounds the Dream
as, [imitates explosions]
two pillars of flame appear,
[imitates roaring fire]
[sound of fire crackling]
as well as wind-swept tornadoes
full of refuse and garbage.
[imitates whooshing]
- [Ally] Very cool.
Very Katamari.
- [Brennan] The Dream beholds you
with neither menace nor cruelty,
nor empathy, nor sorrow,
nor in fact any recognition
of any of your humanity
or what role you could
play outside of the designs
of this being.
We are going to start at the
top of the initiative order
with Kingston.
- Okay.
Can I just start with just a,
I like, aw, I mean,
just a perception check as to,
so the nature of this,
are we on an isolated, like--
- You guys are, without even
making a perception check,
these platforms are kind of in the eye,
that platform is actively
whirling around the outside--
- This?
- [Brennan] That one, yes.
- Okay.
So we're on a, we're--
- You're in the eye of
the f*ck' hurricane,
you're on a chunk of
building that is, whoosh,
swirling around.
- In terms of our
ability to, I don't know,
would, is there, there's
a potential for us
to move from here to here?
- There is a potential,
you're whipping around it,
there's a potential to move there.
It would require a jump
or some other kind of spell or something.
- Okay, got it.
Wow.
Well, this is terrifying.
- And you see that
the whirlwind surrounding you,
so here, the negative space,
the sides, all of that,
is a whirling vortex of pure spell energy,
you see as things go into it,
they begin to disintegrate and disappear.
- Great.
Hey, nobody touch the hurricane!
You will disintegrate!
Great.
Can I check in with Alejandro real quick?
- Alejandro looks ready,
he nods to you,
and says to you,
[deep voice] we are inside the spell,
at the center of the phylactery right now.
I can make us a door to the outside,
and get our friends here.
- Okay.
Get on that.
[Brennan laughs]
And then I think I'm gonna cast a,
I will cast a fourth, hmm.
I will cast...
[suspenseful music]
I will cast a fourth level Bless
on Ricky,
Sofie,
Alejandro,
and Pete.
- Ricky, Sofie, Alejandro,
and Pete, gotcha.
- That's it, four, right?
- Yes.
- That's Kingston, that is your action
is to cast that, any
movement or anything else?
- At this time, no.
I'm not, Kingston, I'm not an athlete.
- [Brennan] Yeah, I hear that.
- Do I think this 55
year old man's gonna go
from one building to another
in the middle of a hurricane?
[laughter]
Y'all are crazy!
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
Buh-buh-bum.
That's going to be Alejandro.
- I'm so scared.
- Yeah.
I'm like, how does this even work?
- [laughs] Exactly.
Do we fight the whirlwind?
- We're not just like,
these things are gonna
beat the f*ck out of us
if we try to get this dude.
- sh**ting the American Dream? [laughs]
- That's you.
Alejandro...
Buh-buh-bum.
[suspenseful music]
Would you place this,
Alejandro take, actually
steps in front of Kingston
and where Alejandro was standing,
he creates a rippling gate of fire.
[imitates flaming explosions]
You see that Alejandro calls
out to all of you, saying,
[deep voice] it is going to
take all of my concentration
to keep this open!
Any of you, call out the names
of those you wish to join us,
and I can reach through and grab them!
[normal voice] Any of you may,
as a bonus action on your turn,
call out the name
of an ally that you have
joined in combat before
during your time as Champions of New York.
- So they have to be alive?
- They have to be alive, sadly.
- Would've been dope
to see Dale in action.
[Brennan laughs]
- Let's see here.
- [Siobhan] [whispering] Oh God.
[Brennan imitates roaring fire]
- Do they got,
do they look like air
elemental kind of things,
or are they--
- They do not.
- [Brian] Actual tornadoes--
- They look like, they
do not look like enemies,
they just look like spells.
- They are spells personified.
[sound of whooshing]
- There's like,
I mean there's no value
attacking them, maybe?
- Does someone have a
Dispel Magic or something?
- They begin to move towards you.
Kugrash, it's gonna be you.
- Sweet.
I'm going to use a,
I don't think anybody who,
I don't think I'm gonna call anybody yet,
'cause last time Wally just almost died.
He's not really a fighter.
I'm gonna go ahead and use a bonus action,
I'm gonna summon the
unicorn totem this time.
- Cool, dope.
- So I summon the unicorn to come help us,
in a way that's calling upon an ally.
And then Kugrash is
gonna cast Dispel Magic
on this guy who's close to us.
- Rad, go ahead and roll your,
roll your check for Dispel Magic.
- Okay.
Come on now.
- [Zac] What do you need,
do...
- I think it's whatever this,
- This is gonna be a DC 15.
- Okay.
And I have a plus five.
- 10 or higher.
[die rolls]
[hand slams]
- [Siobhan] [whispers] f*ck.
- Of course.
- I can--
- It was an eight.
- Can we add or subtract,
I can do Bend Luck,
I'll spend two sorcery points.
- What did you roll?
- An eight.
- [Brennan] It was an eight, cool.
[die rolls]
- Three.
- [Brennan] Three!
- Woo!
- Whoom, Kugrash, you reach your hand out,
whoom, all your little rat shaman magic,
[imitates magical expl*si*n]
you snatch the fire away.
[imitates whooshing]
- Great.
- Yeah!
- Go ahead and place the unicorn totem
where you'd like it to go.
- [Siobhan] What does
the unicorn totem do?
- The unicorn totem, so any time,
we have advantage on ability checks
to detect creatures and
healing spells that I do
restore people equal to my druid level.
If you're in the aura.
- Okay, if you're in the aura.
- So if I heal Ricky, it'll heal you guys.
- [Emily] Okay.
- [Ally] Oh, that's cool.
- Oh great.
- [Brian] So I'm gonna put this unicorn
kind of in the middle.
- Did you say as an action
we can call someone?
- As a bonus action.
You can also do it as an action as well
if you'd rather do a bonus action instead.
- Yeah, cool.
- The unicorn totem has advantage on--
- Like, perception checks to find things,
if anybody's hiding.
But it's more for the healing thing.
And then I would like, are
the rats gonna act on my turn?
- The rats are gonna act
on your turn as well.
- Sweet, I would like, [laughs]
with everybody's permission,
I would like the rats to
hitch a ride with some people.
- Sure, yeah.
- Yeah, Kug, we need rats!
- Cool.
I'm gonna distribute the rats to people
who might have an easier
time getting over there,
I'm out of Wild Shapes.
- [high-pitched] Finally,
the great day of alliance
between the rats and the giant folk!
Let us into your pockets
as we have let you into our hearts!
[Emily laughs]
- Come to me, rats!
- My athletic is actually
one, so maybe not.
- I'm just being like
Amy Adams at Enchanted,
like Disney Princessing with these rats.
- I figure you have Misty Step and stuff--
- [Siobhan] I do.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Brian] One over to
Misty, one over to Ricky.
I can take one,
and we'll send one to--
- I can take the rats and one of you.
- Yeah.
And then I guess whoever they attack,
the rats'll launch out
of their thing and--
- Cool.
- Do a little bite.
- Oh, so they'll ready and attack?
- Yeah, they're gonna,
they're ready. [laughs]
- Any movement or no?
- [whispers] Buh-buh-buh.
[normal voice] No, I think
I'm gonna hang tight.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- You should hit this.
- Awesome, Pete, that's you.
- Okay.
What does 150 feet look like?
- Very long.
This is like 80 feet here.
- Can I reach?
- Let's see if you can.
So from Pete, where's Pete at?
Pete's there?
Yeah, so you're there.
Yeah, you can for sure.
- Okay.
I am going to cast Vitriolic Sphere
on whatever that guy is.
- Hell yeah.
- It's a dex saving throw,
and if you fail, it's 10d4 acid damage,
and another 5d4 at the
end of your next turn.
- Copy that.
So that's gonna be...
[suspenseful music]
Buh-buh-bum.
[dice rolls]
Cool.
Makes it save, so go
ahead and do that 10d4.
- Oh cool.
Can I have some d4s, please?
[die rolls]
- [Lou] See how my son does today.
[Emily laughs]
- You need more?
- [Ally] Yeah.
- Do you need more?
- Thank you.
- Do you need my kids in there?
[Brian laughs]
- I need one.
- [Emily] Okay.
- One kid, please.
Group effort.
[Siobhan laughs]
[dice rolls]
Okay, five, six, seven,
- It's a save, but my kid's
kind of overachieving.
- [Ally] 22.
- Okay, well you know--
[Emily laughs]
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- 22 points of damage,
and then I'm going to use
two sorcery points to use Quicken Spell,
which allows me to move,
use an action as a bonus action.
- Whoa.
- So I'm also gonna cast Fireball.
- Whoa!
- [Emily] Ooh!
- [Brennan] What's the range on Fireball?
- Fireball is also 150,
this is another dex saving throw,
and if, and I'm gonna
cast it as a fourth level,
so if you fail, I do 9d6 damage.
- And this is a dex saving throw, correct?
- Mm-hmm.
- Cool.
He succeeds.
But go ahead and roll damage.
- Cool, can I have some d6s please?
- Let's get my kid in there.
[dice rolls]
- Thanks.
Oh, that's--
- [Emily] Get that one out the way.
[Emily laughs]
- Do you need more?
- Yeah, one more.
[dice rolls]
Thank you.
Okay.
[dice rolls]
- You see what he did?
[Emily gasps]
- Two sixes, five...
[Emily laughs]
so half of 25.
- Half of 25, gotcha.
Damn.
Boom!
[imitates magical burst]
You see the Dream flying above you,
[imitates explosions]
takes both of those hits.
Looks down at you and goes,
what are you?
- I'm the Vox Phanta!
[laughter]
- It appears to recognize that.
- Can I roll, really quick,
can I do an Arcana check
to see what all this mirroring is about,
if we can move to the other side?
- Sure, absolutely.
- Great, yeah, that's 23.
- 23.
Reality's collapsing on itself here,
this is just very unstable.
You don't think you guys are in danger
of having this sh*t happen to you,
but this spell's only gonna go on
for another minute before it resolves
one way or the other.
- Okay, cool.
I'm gonna hop up.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- A little bit.
- Dope, go ahead and give
me an athletics check.
- You mean to clear forward?
Or to--
- Are you hopping up on the tilted part?
- Yeah, just on the tilted part.
- Actually that's just difficult terrain,
so go ahead and move
however you want to move.
- Cool, I'll just move
to wherever he can sit.
- [Brennan] And also if
you want some little tacky
so that he can be on the diagonal
here's some stuff to stick to
the bottom of Pete's figurine.
- I won't go that far, I'll go midway up.
- [Siobhan] Like here on this window?
- [Ally] Sure.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Thank you.
- Dope.
Fighting in this weird, twisted dreamscape
is very much your cup of tea,
you're right at home.
I'm going to need
everybody to make a dexterity,
and I'm actually gonna need everybody here
to make two dexterity saving throws.
- Is it for possession or enchantment?
- Sorry, Pete actually only needs to make
one dexterity saving throw.
- Does this count as a performance?
- No it does not.
- Is this a spell?
- [Brennan] It is not a spell.
- You can add four to it, right?
'Cause it's my--
- The Bless.
- And then--
- Because of my charisma,
my Aura of Protection.
- Oh yeah, Aura of
Protection, okay, great.
- With Ricky, I get 24 on the first one.
- With Ricky, I don't, I definitely fail.
- I get 16 on the first one.
- Oh, plus four--
- Three, seven.
- Remember your rolls,
I'm gonna go around the table in a second.
- [Lou] Great.
- [Brennan] Bada-boom.
[dice rolls]
- [Emily] Oh--
- That's what you meant
when you said it was moving.
- [Brennan] And this
is going to then tilt.
Woop!
Everyone falling down.
- [Lou] Wow!
- [Brennan] I'm gonna wait
one second real quick.
Great, thank you.
So we're gonna, this moves over here.
I'm going to need a,
so did anyone get a 17 or
below on the first save?
- My first save was a 17.
- 17, so 17 exactly, gotcha.
- Yeah, I got a 16.
- [Brennan] 16, 16.
- Seven.
- And I got a 20--
- I got a 23 on the second.
- Not, don't tell me the
second one right now.
So the people that failed that
were Misty, Ricky, Kingston, and Pete.
You guys, this thing is just
whipping through the air,
you guys are all flung,
except for those who
made their first save--
- Into the ether?
- No, no, no.
Tilted, for the first
thing that happens is
you're knocked prone,
so that first save is
about being knocked prone.
So everyone failed that.
And then this is actually gonna move,
buh-buh-buh.
Da-da-dum.
- [Lou] g*dd*mn.
g*dd*mn, Rick.
- This is amazing.
- What is all of this?
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Everything be spinning!
- Okay.
That all spins.
Cool.
So everyone that, that's
one, two, three, four,
you guys are all knocked prone.
Did anyone get a 17 or
below on the second save?
- Oh, come on. [die rolls]
No.
- 24 again.
- Cool.
Pete's fine.
Or yeah, you're knocked prone.
And you actually are knocked
prone over in this square here.
Kingston, you failed both, right?
Bada-boom.
So Kingston, you actually
are going to take...
How much did you fail by, what'd you roll?
- Second one was 10.
- Second one was 10?
[die rolls]
You take nine points of falling damage
[electronic static]
as you are thrown aside.
Nobody else failed that second one, right?
So prone, prone,
Ricky is prone.
Sofia, you are standing.
Kug, you're standing as well.
- Cool, I think the unicorn
probably stays, right?
'Cause it's an aura,
so probably--
- I'm actually okay allowing
it to travel on the,
if you play, 'cause you're
all traveling with it, right?
We'll roll for Alejandro.
- He's Blessed.
- He is Blessed, that is right.
Alejandro actually just
jumps down over here,
keeping his concentration
on the portal, he's okay.
Go ahead and roll just one
time for your rats, man.
- Cool.
[die rolls]
So I rolled a raw 16,
plus zero to dex, so 16.
- Cool.
Whoom, the wind whips around,
the whole building, shoom, shunts.
You are all flipped over
onto the other side.
Pete, even though as you're running up,
you dip, fall down.
Four of you guys are prone,
Kingston, you took the hardest fall,
smashed into that window there.
Alejandro, Kugrash, Sofia,
you guys are still on your feet.
You see that the Dream
up on top of you goes,
[gasps]
you are trying to destroy me.
That doesn't make sense.
I can't let myself be destroyed.
Boom!
Surrounded by golden light,
reaches a hand out to you,
and is going to attack you.
- Shield.
- Okay.
Bypasses the Shield, still hits.
And you take...
[whispers] Two, three.
Four.
- This isn't Magic m*ssile, is it?
- Nope.
Worth a shot.
[dice rolls]
- Do you have specific
immunity to Magic m*ssile?
- So specific! [laughs]
That's so funny, they show
you every fight being like--
- So many dice just got thrown.
- [Zac] Volley of Arrows.
Would you say that--
- You take 46 points of damage,
as he, boom!
- [Emily] Ooh!
- As, [imitates whooshing]
this light comes down and destroys you.
[imitates magical blast]
That's going to be Rowan.
- Okay.
I'm gonna Misty Step over
to the central platform.
- [Brennan] Okay.
You're still prone unless
you use movement to get up.
- With unicorn, we don't have
advantage on saving throws?
- No.
- [Zac] Okay, cool.
- And then...
What I'm gonna do is,
I'm going to message
the American Dream. [laughs]
- Cool.
- This is very insane.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And using my actor feat,
where I can do an impression of anybody
that I have met,
or heard speak--
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- I'm going to use the
voice of the American Dream
inside his own head,
and say,
this is how you came here,
but you don't have to be this.
I can be anything,
because I'm the American Dream.
I don't, I can choose a different path.
- Go ahead and, this is
not an act of deception.
Go ahead and, with your actor feat,
roll a persuasion check.
- Persuasion?
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
[suspenseful music]
[die rolls]
- That is a 28.
- Cool, and you, I believe
you are being the American
Dream right now, right?
- Yes.
- So you actually do roll with advantage,
because of your actor feat.
- Great.
[die rolls]
- I got a 28.
- 28! [laughs]
[laughter]
You see that this appears to,
this affects this being here.
It is, you're,
the spell you are in is pure evil.
This thing is inhuman.
And it's very clear that this whole matrix
is attempting to close in on this, right?
So you see it looks at you,
you, give me an insight check.
[die rolls]
- 23.
- 23,
it looks at you with a cool regard,
and all its strange,
celestial face gives you
is the knowledge that you have been heard.
And--
- Do you want to bring
anyone through the portal?
- I already used my bonus action.
Misty Step is a bonus action.
- And then message as an action?
- And then message as an action.
- Gotcha.
Cool.
That's gonna be Sofia.
- Obeying the rules
of the game.
- Okay.
According to my math--
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- I think I can leap to him.
I want to leap up and backpack around him.
[Siobhan laughs]
I want to cling to him like a backpack.
- I'm gonna climb the American Dream?
[Emily laughs]
f*ck' bootstraps, cling
to that guy's bootstraps!
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- With Step of the Wind,
just to point it out,
my jump is three times from my Louboutins,
it's also another three
times from Otherworldly Leap,
and then Step of the Wind doubles my jump.
- Does that mean you're nine times,
'cause it's three times three?
- It means I'm three times three
and then another times two,
it means I'm 18.
- [Brennan] Going by this,
but with this calculator
your high jump is 72 feet off the ground.
- Why is it only 72?
My thing is 13 and if you do it by three,
that would be 39,
times three.
- [Brennan] I'm going off of
a very fancy jump calculator for 5e.
- Do you have a stat wrong for me, maybe?
- [Brennan] 13 strength,
five foot seven inches tall,
monk Step of the Wind is active,
the spell Jump is active,
and the magic item
Boots of Striding and Springing is active.
Your high jump is 72 feet off the ground,
let's just, you might be able to reach--
- [Emily] Okay.
- But let's just see if you can.
I think it also partially depends
where you're jumping from, so--
- Could you just run up the little higher?
- Yeah actually, where the position is
you could theoretically,
if you have enough movement,
you could take a circuitous route,
let's see.
- Okay.
- So,
here's this.
[suspenseful music]
Yeah.
So, the only place you
could reach him from
would be from right here.
- Okay.
I think I can get there, yeah.
- Cool.
Let's count out your movement.
That's gonna be,
it's five--
- Some rats are coming with her too.
- [Brennan] Some rats
are coming with her too.
So it's gonna be--
- Yeah, I'll backpack,
and then the rats can climb into him.
- [Brennan] Five, 10, 15, 20,
- My speed is 45.
- Yeah, 30.
Jump easy.
And you're taking Step of the Wind.
- Mm-hmm.
- So 60,
so then it's another
so you can, in other words,
begin jumping up to clobber him.
- Okay.
- Or you can make it all the way up to him
if you use your action for a move action.
- Oh yeah, I'll do that.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Yeah, I wanna burn my action anyways.
All I need is my reaction.
- I will say, 'cause here's the thing.
If you want, this is
weird how D&D works stuff,
if you want to be in mid-jump
here and save your action,
you could potentially--
- I would like to be
within five feet of him.
- Dope, I can dig it.
I was gonna say, if you
wanted to use your action
to call someone through the portal,
you could also do that,
'cause you'll have that action--
- But then you'll be in the air
and you don't have to f*ck
with all these saving throws.
- I want to be within five feet of him
so that if he attack, if he casts a spell,
I get a reaction attack on him.
- Cool, dope.
You rush up with a bunch of rats.
Let's get Sofie Lee--
- But I could be in the air,
I don't need to backpack him just yet.
Maybe I won't backpack him,
because that would--
- Yeah, you can't.
So you can get there with your movement--
- But I want to be within five feet.
- [Brennan] And then stop.
- [Siobhan] Amazing.
[Emily laughs]
The battle of the car antennas!
- What is it Gorgug said in Fantasy High,
fight me in the sky?
- [Ally] Oh yeah!
- [Brennan] Aah!
Cool.
- The fight you were obsessed
with being able to fly
and no one would join you?
[laughter]
- [Brennan] Great.
- Fight me in the sky!
- [Brennan] And then we've also got some,
I'll make a note that we've got
some rats joining you there.
Awesome, that's Sofia's turn.
- [Lou] Jesus.
- [Zac] Anyone calling anyone, no?
- Do you have any actions to call, or--
- No, I used my action to get up there.
- Buh-buh-bum.
[suspenseful music]
This thing has a speed of...
Cool.
- Oh, the platforms are coming out!
- If anybody has any way
to buff up for rolls.
- You know what, that's a little wobbly.
I'm gonna leave that there,
but this is on its way up.
- [Brian] sh*t.
[Brennan imitates wind whistling]
- And then this one
is gonna go,
is gonna go straight for Rowan.
[imitates wind whistling]
I'm gonna need, sorry rats.
- [Brian] My rats!
- [Brennan] Your rats!
I'm gonna need
Rowan and the rats
to make--
- Rowan and the rats!
That's your band.
- Hell yeah.
[Emily laughs]
- To make a strength saving throw.
- Oh boy.
All right.
- Ally, put your f*cking
phone away! [laughs]
- It's so gorgeous, Rowan's character
is already leaning like this, and the--
- 17.
- 15.
- 17 and 15, cool.
Rowan, the rats are
flung here to the edge,
they can't go prone.
Rowan, you are flung here
to the edge of the platform.
And you also take, buh-buh-buh.
[dice rolls]
- [Siobhan] f*ck.
[electronic static]
- [Brennan] As the wind hits you.
[electronic whistling]
- I'm already low from our previous fight,
so I'm at 34 right now.
[electronic static]
- Whoom!
- How much did you take?
- 20 damage.
- That's going to be...
Another spin.
- God.
- My hit point max is only 54.
- [Zac] I haven't even gone. [laughs]
- f*ck' lair actions.
- [whispers] f*ck!
[Brennan humming]
[Brennan imitates magical blasting]
- Is that area in the middle more stable?
- Hm?
- [Brian] Is that area--
- [Brennan] Yes, these
ones look more stable
than this one you guys are on.
- 'Cause we're getting knocked around.
- You guys are getting knocked around
over here pretty hard.
This one swivels back over here.
I'm gonna once again need
two saving throws from everybody
who's on this platform over here.
- Goddammit.
[dice rolls]
Oh my God.
- With Ricky--
- Let me know the first one.
- 17.
- What do we add to it?
Dex?
- [Zac] Yeah.
- What'd you get, 17?
- 17.
- [Brennan] Cool, Kug,
you're knocked prone.
- [Brian] f*ck!
- [Ally] 16.
- 23 for me.
- 16 for Pete, Pete, you
are flung all the way
to the very edge right over here.
What do--
- 12 and 16.
- 12 and 16, cool.
- I hate this.
- [Brennan] You are knocked
to the edge, Kingston.
Ricky, what did you get.
- I got a 23 as my first roll.
- You're still prone,
but you take no further damage.
Which was your second one?
- 19.
- 19, cool, you're okay.
How are these rats faring over here?
Roll another save for your rats
that are still on the platform.
[die rolls]
- Oh, 19.
- Rats are okay.
Kingston, you're gonna take
another six points of bludgeoning damage.
[imitates thudding]
And you're just being rocked
around in the tornado.
Alejandro...
Miraculously lands on his
feet, spry old guy, fwoom.
- Making me look bad, Alejandro.
- [deep voice] See, this is why I say
you need to have some joie de vivre--
- Give, stop, I,
gifts are not the
difference between, that--
- [deep voice] Can
I ask you a question?
- [Lou] Yes.
- [deep voice] Did you talk to Liz?
- [stammers] I--
[laughter]
The man, the fight is on!
- [deep voice] Because I see a little,
I see a little spring--
- You need to focus on bringing
people through this portal.
You have brought--
- [deep voice] I am
holding the portal open!
You guys are not focusing on
driving the people through the portal!
The portal has been made!
[normal voice] You see that, cool.
- Do I have to make a second save,
or that was just--
- You...
You do not have to make a second save.
I'm also gonna need
actually Misty to make a
dexterity saving throw here as well.
- Okay.
[die rolls]
Plus dex,
- You are not knocked one square outside.
- Oy!
[Brennan imitates whooshing]
All right, get to the middle it is!
- [Emily] Oy!
- [Brennan] That's going
to be, buh-buh-buh,
Pete, you cast two spells, right?
- [Ally] Mm-hmm.
- [Brennan] I'm gonna
need two Wild Magic rolls.
- Oh right.
[die rolls]
Nat one.
- [Siobhan] Hell yeah.
- Wild.
Give me the other one just to see.
[die rolls]
- Two.
[Siobhan laughs]
- Wild.
- [Zac] Is that two?
- So you get two Wild--
- No, that's one.
'Cause it resets.
- Oh, right.
[Emily laughs]
- [Brian] Yikes!
- Really not rolling well today!
- I already have chills,
this is unreal.
This is so dumb.
- While I'm doing this,
can I roll an insight to see why
I'm not getting any bludgeoning damage
from this dream world?
Or an arcana?
- Oh!
No 'cause, did,
you made your second
saving throw, didn't you?
What was your second saving throw?
- Oh, the first time I didn't have to.
- Oh, the first time you didn't,
'cause you moved, 'cause it,
you moved to the side
where you weren't falling.
These guys are on the upside
and getting flung over to the other side
as it tilts wildly.
- Got it.
- You feel the Wild Magic,
[imitates whooshing]
force of dreams entering your body.
You feel that you have
the ability to either,
the Wild Magic is, you're like,
oh, it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen,
it's gonna happen!
It can either go to
your eyes or your skin.
Something that can either help you
maybe perceive some stuff
or something that can make you stronger--
- Stronger, absolutely f*cking stronger.
- [Brennan] [claps] Jesus Christ, Pete.
You gain resistance to all damage
for the next minute
- [Brian] Nice.
- [Brennan] Your skin
goes, boom, just chrome,
all your skin is f*cking chrome,
you're like a mirror--
[Ally screams]
- [Ally] [laughs] Cool.
[Brennan imitates magical burst]
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- Minute in combat is how many turns?
- [Brennan] 10 rounds.
- That's amazing.
Yeah, okay, let's start counting rounds.
- The last fight was five rounds?
- [Brennan] Five rounds, yeah.
- Cool.
- [Brennan] Back to the top
of the initiative order,
Kingston, that's gonna be you.
- Oh, I haven't gone yet.
- [Brennan] Oh Ricky, I'm sorry.
Ricky, that's right, you're last, Ricky.
You go on a two.
Ricky, that's you.
- There's no way I could have said
that I cast Divine Sense
before this, right?
- Sure, you can cast
Divine Sense before this.
- Okay.
Just wanted to be able to see if I know--
- That thing is a celestial.
- Okay.
Cool.
- Interesting.
- And okay.
- Doesn't necessarily mean that it's good.
- [Emily] Right.
- [Brennan] But it's a celestial.
- Okay.
- But it means that necrotic
damage would hurt it.
Maybe.
- I, [sighs]
so it feels like Turn
the Unholy won't work
'cause it only works on fiends or undead.
Then I will cast
Sacred Weapon.
[sound of shimmering]
And say Esther. [laughs]
Why can't I say that word?
Esther.
[Brennan imitates rumbling]
- So you're over here,
you say Esther.
Esther, her makeup
streaming down her face,
tear-streaked face,
smiling wide, whipping
this silver bat around.
Bursts through the portal,
lands on top of you,
and gets one hand on your a*s
and f*ck' plants her
mouth on your mouth.
- Yes!
[laughter]
I'm so f*cking into you,
you this f*ck' dumb, hot piece,
you're so good, you're so heroic,
I f*ck' love you.
- You're great!
- You don't even read
books, who gives a sh*t?
I read books all the time, I'm miserable!
- You grabbed my a*s pretty hard.
[laughter]
- I want to f*ck you!
You see--
- I didn't want to call you here,
'cause it's really dangerous,
but I don't know what else to do.
- Let's live a dangerous life together.
- Okay.
- You see that she
hoists you to your feet,
and you cast Sacred Weapon, right?
- Yes, and then I wanted
to take my movement to run
up to the top of that.
- Oh, up to this thing here?
- Just to get on this platform.
- Let's see, I'm gonna see
what your jump is right now.
Your strength--
- I have, yeah, I don't
actually have my speed--
- And he has Freedom of Movement,
so he doesn't have to worry
about difficult terrain.
- [Brennan] Awesome.
We still need to see
what his high jump is.
So since we're not gonna
worry about difficult terrain,
you can reach up and grab something
- Could I also just--
- And difficult terrain doesn't,
so yeah, Freedom of
Movement means this is not,
oh yeah!
f*ck yeah!
- I can get up there, right?
- You can just get the
f*ck up there, cool.
So you're going--
- [Zac] And I got my rats with me.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
Five, 10, 15, 20,
- Get into the middle of
the platform if you can.
- Well, you've used your action.
And your bonus, right?
- Yes.
And yeah,
I guess there's nothing
else I can really do.
- Mm-hmm.
Rad.
But Esther appears.
Cool, Kingston, that's gonna be you.
- Oh, can I tell her,
you can yell names too!
- She goes, got it!
[laughter]
Cool.
- Wow, the first thing
now that you guys have
had your first kiss,
the first thing you do--
- I'm overwhelmed!
[laughter]
- [Brennan] That's going to be,
yeah, that's Kingston.
- Great.
Okay, I guess I get up
and walk away from the edge.
- [Brennan] So that's 15.
Five, 10,
so you can get to here.
- Great, perfect.
And then I yell,
I'm now,
I wanted to call in Wally so badly.
Willy, get your brick butt in here!
- [Brian] Ah, Willy's good!
[Brennan growls]
- You see Willy, gwoom!
Emerges from the portal.
[monster voice] Kingston Brown!
[normal voice] You see that vampire blood
is just dripping off of
his giant brick fists.
[monster voice] Good to see you.
You caught me at a great time.
- Oh, well, you caught me at a bad time,
I'm falling all over the place.
This place is wild.
[laughter]
- [monster voice] What,
there's some kind of schmuck
make a spell or something.
- Yeah, that's the American Dream.
That's the real, that's the--
- [monster voice] Ehh.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
He's not that great.
Anyway.
Let's get to work.
And then can I cast Dispel
Magic on this tornado?
- Yes you can, go ahead
and give me a roll.
- Great.
- [Brian] Come on!
[die rolls]
- I don't think, what is
it, it's plus my spell,
attack or spell casting?
- Plus your just wisdom modifier.
- Oh, okay.
Then yeah, eight.
[Brennan imitates wind whistling]
- Cool.
That's now, so that's Kingston.
Esther is going to go.
And one up in front of Willy over here.
[sound of footsteps]
[grunts]
[imitates whooshing]
Kind of following Ricky
up that hillside.
And Esther reaches out
and hits you with a Haste spell.
- Tight.
[Brennan imitates magical blast]
- That's, and I'll go
ahead and give you that.
And Esther's actually
gonna use her bonus action.
She's not gonna call a name.
She's instead going to ready a spell
for next turn with a bonus action.
But I'll go ahead and give you Haste.
Boom.
That's going to be
Alejandro, who's keeping the portal open.
But is also gonna go ahead
and hit,
Kingston's getting knocked around.
He's gonna go ahead and hit Kingston
with a Protection from Good and Evil.
- [Lou] Okay.
[sound of sparkling]
- [Brennan] So you have that spell,
so that he's casting that on you.
- [Lou] Great.
- That's going to be
these guys here.
[suspenseful music]
That's gonna be...
[imitates whooshing]
- [Lou] Wow.
- This thing lands on top of Pete.
Pete, I'm gonna need you to make a
dexterity saving throw.
- Sure.
[die rolls]
- [whispering] f*ck.
[die rolls]
- Nine.
- Are you close enough to Ricky?
Oh, Ricky's gone.
- Yeah, I f*ck'...
- It's gonna really suck
to not take any damage!
- Woo!
I think you take half, right?
Is that what resistance--
- Resistance is half.
- With my thing that I got?
- Your thing, resistance is half.
So all damage is half.
- Oh, I don't--
[Emily laughs]
- It's interesting, I did hear that wrong.
[Emily laughs]
- Nine, 18--
- Interesting.
- [Brennan] 25.
You take 15 points of damage,
which would have been 31.
- Great.
- Whoom, as this pillar of
flame lands on top of you.
[imitates whooshing]
- Hmm.
I'll take that into consideration.
- That's gonna be Kugrash.
- Oy.
Okay.
- Oh sorry.
Also, as soon as Willy appears,
he hits the ground with his feet.
Boom!
[sound of expl*si*n]
Everybody prone stands.
- [Brian] Oh, great.
- Oh, that's so fun!
- Oh, thanks Willy.
- It must be so fun to get jolted upright.
- It's like when you're
lying on a trampoline
and somebody jumps on it.
- You see he looks, he goes like,
[monster voice] what
for you all lay around,
we in the middle of a fight,
try to keep your eye on the ball!
[Emily laughs]
- That's going to be Kug.
- Cool.
Dispel Magic has a range of 120 feet,
I think I might try to
help Misty out here,
'cause I think that there's enough people
to help with that one.
Cool.
Can I try to dispel this guy?
- Which guy?
Oh, this one over here?
Yes you can.
- The one that's after Misty.
Come on!
Come on, please!
[die rolls]
- Yes!
- Yes, 17, a 22.
[Brennan imitates whooshing]
- [Brennan] And disappears.
- That's good.
- That's real good.
- That's good.
- And then as a bonus action,
I guess I'll call the gnome
that has the clock on,
what was his name again?
- [Siobhan] Bilbry?
- Bilbry?
I'm gonna say, just for the
purpose of this battle--
- Okay.
- That unless you've fought with people,
unless you have been in a
fight with people before,
you cannot call them to this battle.
- [Siobhan] So like Em, Sondheim.
- [Brian] I'll call Em.
- Cool.
You call out for Em,
and, buh-buh-buh-bum,
buh-buh, bum.
- Who else have we fought with?
- Stephen Sondheim.
[laughter]
- That's all I can remember.
- [Lou] Pizza Rat.
- Pizza Rat?
Ooh yeah, Pizza Rat would be great, Nod.
- Em comes soaring. [imitates whooshing]
- [Emily] Ooh!
- [Brennan] Wings out, Em.
- That's good, she's a flyer,
that's so smart!
- And she can heal.
- As soon as Em appears,
As soon as Em appears,
anyone who is injured.
Oop!
I pulled an Ally, hold on, sorry.
- Oh, that's not an Ally!
[laughter]
Come on now!
- It's what it's called!
- Pulling an Ally is specifically
when your d4 does not
make it to the table.
[laughter]
- All right, actually, yeah.
- Everybody who's injured
regains seven hit points.
- Yeah!
- [Brennan] As soon as Em appears.
[electronic static]
Em comes out, and she's like,
oh my God, what is this,
some kind of f*ck' tacky
Fourth of July angel?
This is some bullshit.
- I know, I'm on it, girl.
- I got your back, girl, you know it!
[Emily laughs]
Let him knock you--
- Do you see how high I am?
- Oh my God, you don't even have wings!
- Shh, I'm gonna backpack him!
- You guys, that's an,
I won't tell.
[laughter]
She soars up here,
[imitates wind and lightning]
That is going to be,
at the end of, Kugrash,
at the end of your turn.
That's gonna be a 20 foot diameter.
Yeah, that's everybody.
Everybody on this platform
needs to make a dexterity saving throw.
You, because you are all next to Willy,
you all roll with advantage.
- Is this against a spell,
or is this more of the moving?
- This is a spell.
- Is he casting it?
- He is casting it.
- Then I get an attack on him.
- Woo!
Go for it.
- [Siobhan] Wait, hang on, Counterspell.
- You are, there's no way
you're within 60 feet.
- You're right!
Well, look.
If you're really gonna
play the rules that hard.
- Does a 25 hit him?
- A 25 does hit him.
[Emily laughs]
- So if you do damage,
would that cancel the spell?
- 11.
- [Brennan] 11 points of damage.
He takes 11 points of damage, boom.
As--
- He also, does he have any spells
that have concentration?
- Yes.
- Then he has to, he gets
disadvantage on his saving throw
to maintain its concentration.
- [Brennan] Very cool.
Five.
He might actually,
no, he succeeds.
However, I'm gonna need you to make,
as you make that,
or as you close the final range
to make that attack on him,
I'm gonna need you to make
a dexterity saving throw.
- Okay.
[dramatic music]
- [Brennan] This is,
our innovation's gonna come in very handy.
[die rolls]
- Ah, I got a, let's see.
A 36.
Wait, does that have 36?
Maybe 26?
No.
- [Brennan] 26.
- 26, yeah, I got a 26.
- Cool.
He has an incredibly powerful spell
that is f*cking shredding
everything around him
with these ribbons of light,
you dodge them all effortlessly
and take no damage!
[Emily laughs]
- [Ally] Wow.
- That's huge.
However, I will need those
dexterity saves from--
- Am I saving versus
enchantment or possession?
- No, you are not.
- 22 for Kug.
- [Brennan] 22.
[dice rolls]
- I had 19.
- Since I used evasion,
does that count as him missing me?
- [Ally] What is this?
- 19?
- [Lou] 19.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Emily] Does that
count as him missing me?
- [Ally] 12.
- No.
It does not count as him missing you.
- 12.
- Oh, 'cause that's melee, right.
- [Brennan] So 12, 19.
- [Brian] 22.
- 22.
[suspenseful music]
Anything, and then that's
Alejandro, Willy, and Esther.
Buh-buh-bum.
[dice rolls]
Okay.
So actually, I think everyone
fails this one, actually.
- 22 fails?
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- I thought I had done it with a 19,
I thought, look at this,
I get to pass a dexterity saving throw.
- [Emily] Yeah.
- What a fool I was.
- Kug, was it just your turn?
- Yes.
- Do the rats go on your turn?
- They do, but they
can't really do anything.
- Did you want to say
they prepare an action,
so that when I make contact, they attack?
- Yeah, I think if you
guys attack anybody,
the rats with you will...
Join it.
- Prepare that action.
[dramatic music]
- So Kingston, Esther,
Alejandro, Willy,
Kugrash,
and sorry, actually not Pete.
Pete, you're outside of the blast radius.
It's not that large of an expl*si*n,
but you see that the angel just
literally sends a m*ssile out of his hand.
[imitates blasts]
Boom, you are all blowed up,
each taking 21 points of damage.
- [Ally] Was it Magic m*ssile?
- [Brennan] No, it was not Magic m*ssile.
- Goddammit, one day!
- And then do I need
to, for concentration?
- You need to roll for concentration.
As actually does--
- You say 21?
- 21, so the DC's still 10.
[dice rolls]
- [Brian] Check on my totem thing.
- Plus my wisdom?
Or plus my con?
- Plus your con.
- Oh yeah, 12.
- Cool.
That's gonna be, and then,
Alejandro loses his protection,
he fails his concentration.
- Okay.
- Esther maintains hers on Haste.
That's going to be Pete.
- [yawning] Great. [laughs]
- All right now, any time.
- Pete, I'm glad you're relaxed right now.
[laughter]
- You don't have Dispel Magic, do you?
- I don't.
I am going to...
Yeah, I guess I'm just going to run
and try to get up on that platform.
- Okay.
Yeah.
Five, 10, 15.
In a single movement.
- Okay.
Man.
I, 60 feet is not,
that's a 150 guy, right?
Yeah, okay.
I'm gonna call for Stephen Sondheim.
[laughter]
- [Siobhan] Great.
- He was kidnapped by two pixies!
- And I'm going to use the--
- Please call someone else!
- Really?
- No, absolutely call Stephen Sondheim!
- [Ally] He saved the day the other day!
- Stephen Sondheim
bursts through the portal
and goes,
of course.
The third act.
[laughter]
Here we all are.
Peter.
- Ricky loves this!
Thank you!
- Course, Peter.
You have a gift,
as do we all.
- Oh, well that kind of took it away.
[laughter]
I love you like I've loved
everyone I've ever dated.
[laughter]
- That's so sad!
- Can I use the rest of my movement
to try to hop up where Ricky is?
Or my action as movement?
- Oh, sorry.
Can you use your action to,
oh, and so that was your bonus action.
Yeah, you want to use your
action to jump up there?
- Please, yeah, I would
like to get the f*ck
off of this.
- [Brennan] Five, 10, 15, 20,
so 30, you make it
right here behind Ricky,
kind of getting partial cover
behind this thing there.
You, huh huh,
and this thing is whipping around.
So it's that thing where it
pulls away from you like,
aah!
[crashing]
- Whoa!
- [Brennan] We're good!
- Now that's pulling an Ally!
- No, that's not what it's called!
- Guys.
When I kicked over all the figurines,
that was a total Ally move.
- Okay!
I'm so athletic.
[laughter]
And I'm like,
I have balance and poise.
- [Brennan] Wonderful.
- [Emily] Woo!
- [Ally] That's right, b*tch!
No, I won't do that.
- [Brennan] That's Pete.
- [Ally] Thank you.
- That's right.
- And immediately after Pete's turn,
this whole thing. [imitates humming]
[laughter]
- [Brian] We gotta get off this.
- This is, yeah, we have--
- I wish I'd grabbed somebody,
I should have f*ck'--
- Yeah, I'm truly gonna ask
Willy to take me with him.
[laughter]
Willy, let's--
- Cool!
This thing tilts again,
I'm gonna first, let's
do the tilt roll first.
Everyone roll a dexterity save, please.
- [Brian] Yipes.
- [Lou] Come on, maybe today.
[dice rolls]
And is it advantage with Willy?
- If you're within five feet of Willy,
it's with advantage.
All saving throws are advantage
within five feet of Willy.
- Sweet.
- Beautiful.
That's gonna be,
I still don't think I f*ck' passed, 16?
- [Brian] 23.
- 16 doesn't do it.
Kugrash passes.
- Kingston, you gotta get off of it!
This platform was not made for you!
- Is, of the people that are on,
and then it's all mostly allies, right?
- Man, you spent so much time on trains,
you think you'd be better at standing--
- Because he never has to deal with any--
- You gotta take a wide stance, Kingston!
- Okay, I know how to stand!
- [Brian] You ever been
on the subway, Kingston?
- I have been on the subway in more times
than any of y'all can count.
- I think Kingston, actually,
you're the only one who falls--
- Don't do this to me,
why'd you have to call me out like that?
[laughter]
- You see that as you go for a dip,
Willy has his readied action,
grabs you,
and boom!
Leaps off the building.
[monster voice] Beautiful, man.
[normal voice] and just,
[monster voice] nice
coat lying on the ground.
- Get off of me, get
off of me, I can stand
on my own two feet!
- As he pinches your cheek.
- Oh, stop it!
I'm a grown man! [laughs]
- [Brian] Kingston's
one of those dudes that,
as a point of pride,
doesn't hold on to anything on the subway
but then, like, falls backwards.
[laughter]
- Yeah, I do a lot of, yeah.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Brian] A lot of--
- I don't want to take
up anybody else's space,
I'll just stand here.
- Cool.
Everyone else makes it,
but I am gonna need
another round of dex saves
from people there.
[Lou sighs]
[die rolls]
- This is still Willy helping?
- [Brian] Willy's still helping, yep.
[dice rolls]
- Woo, okay!
- [Brian] 20--
- In Willy's lovely arms,
I finally pass.
[laughter]
- 23.
- [Siobhan] So romantic.
- Cool.
Kug, you pass.
Alejandro actually takes
a little bit of a dip.
- Even with the Bless?
- Even with the Bless,
Alejandro takes a little bit of a dip.
- How's Sondheim doing?
- Sondheim lands spryly to his feet,
he's looking great.
[laughter]
Sondheim's looking f*cking gold.
- [Ally] Watch him save the day.
- I really do love Stephen Sondheim.
- Also, I couldn't remember
anyone else we fought with,
I was like, the alligators?
[laughter]
- Oh, those alligators.
- They would be able to
do nothing here! [laughs]
- Nothing at all.
- Yeah, I already summoned my rats.
- They're so slow.
- We couldn't call Esther's
parents or anything?
- I was thinking Esther could call them.
- You have not fought with them.
- I have one, I have one.
- Cool.
You got, now for that second save,
did anybody fail.
Know Kugrash didn't, you passed, great.
Alejandro takes a dip.
Let's see if he loses concentration.
[die rolls]
He does not.
Boom!
Takes a little slide.
That is going to be
the Dream.
[ominous music]
I am going to need,
Protection from Good is
gone on Kingston, right?
Who's thrown sh*t, Pete's thrown sh*t.
But you're down here.
This thing turns just to look at Sofia
leaping towards him.
Do you have any protection
sh*t on you or no?
- No, in fact, I used my reaction already.
- Mkay.
That's a hit.
- Mmm, mm-mm, hang on.
- Okay.
[die rolls]
- Minus seven.
- Hold on.
[Brennan mutters quietly]
Still hits.
- f*ck!
- [Emily] Thank you for trying.
- Next one.
- Next one?
- f*ck me up. [laughs]
- It is what it, oh, and then you died.
- [Emily] f*ck me up.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- And then you get to be
with your beautiful husband
who you love very much.
- Okay. [laughs]
We don't need to talk in this way.
- It'll be fine when you die.
[laughter]
- [Lou] Okay.
- I want you to die, actually.
I hope you die!
- [Ally] Please don't die!
- I definitely--
- This is all a bit.
- I definitely dressed for
this as maybe my death.
- Please, no.
- From the first attack--
- [Emily] Mm-hmm.
- [Brennan] You take--
- [gasps] Oh no!
- [Brennan] Seven, eight,
- It's like, and now--
- Hey, I'm at full,
but I'm trying to think
if I have anything that...
[suspenseful music]
- You take 49 damage
from the first attack.
- 49?
- Do the rats attack?
- I'm still standing.
- You're still standing?
This second attack was a nat 20.
- Oh no.
- Oh I'm for sure dead.
- Where do you land if you die?
Can one of us--
- It will remain to be seen what,
where Sofia lands.
This next attack--
- Go ahead, waste your turn on me.
- My heart is,
it's beating so fast right now.
For those at home who
can't see my insides.
- Maybe Em can fly in, catch you?
- [Siobhan] Maybe.
[dice rolls]
- [whispers] 15.
- What happens if you use
Bend Luck on a nat 20,
does that matter?
- I mean, I already used my--
- I think I'm--
- [Siobhan] Bardic?
It didn't?
- Absolutely, I'm down,
there's no point in even counting it.
- What does happen if you
use Bend Luck on a nat 20?
- It doesn't, I think it's still a nat 20.
Right?
- Yeah, it has to be.
- Yeah.
- A nat 20's a nat 20.
- But I feel like it
would change a nat one.
- I feel like there's
something I'm missing.
Doesn't it feel like on one of these cards
I'm gonna have something
that negates all this?
- You take 89 damage
from the second attack.
- [Siobhan] Oh my God.
- That's more than my hit point max.
Does that mean I'm dead, official?
- [Lou] You're not--
- Is there, once you get to zero,
is there your hit point max left?
- Yeah.
- Once I get to zero--
- It's minus.
- Yeah, yeah, 'cause 89 is
- [Brennan] Cool, okay.
The celestial turns to you,
his eyes flare with red,
white, and blue light,
and a beam of concentrated energy
strikes you in the chest.
[imitates magical blast]
I'm going to need you also,
and I know this seems like
adding insult to injury,
I'm gonna need you to make
a constitution saving throw.
- [quietly] Okay.
[normal voice] Am I still Blessed, though?
- You are still Blessed.
- Arguably.
- Even in death.
- [Ally] [laughs] Arguably.
[dice rolls]
- Eight.
- [Lou] f*ck!
- Sofia, you are dead.
[Emily laughs]
Full dead.
- [Ally] Wait, like not
making saving throws?
- [Brennan] No saves necessary.
- You have a Revivify?
- [Lou] I do, of course I do.
[Brennan imitates magical blast]
- Your soul floats through the tornado,
and you see a hand reaching out,
being restrained at the Pearly Gates,
as Dale reaches out to you.
[raspy breath]
- No!
- Sof, don't go!
- [Ally] No!
- I mean, I would love to come back
and help you finish this fight, but--
- No buts!
- You have to tell us about her body,
what is her body doing?
- It is rent asunder,
her rib cage and lungs
burst out of her chest,
and she begins to fall through the air.
- Can we say that the rats
jump off of me onto him?
- Yeah, they have a readied action.
[laughter]
For sure.
- Rats, get your revenge!
[Emily laughs]
It's like slow motion,
the music is cut.
Kugrash is just screaming,
and little rats are jumping for him.
- Freeze frame!
Now you're wondering how I got this--
- There's a bunch of rats on his head.
Yeah, Sofia. [imitates whooshing]
- [Brian] Technically,
they can move another--
- I'm falling backwards, right?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- [Lou] With Slow Fall,
does she fall slowly?
- [Emily] I do have Slow Fall, but--
- That's, Sofia hitting, she
immediately drops 20 feet.
On her next turn,
she will plummet into the hurricane.
- Em, you gotta do something!
- [Brennan] Buh-buh-bah.
- Did we battle anyone else who could fly?
- Yeah, I got it.
- [Brennan] That's going to be--
- It's me next, right?
- Can the rats attack?
- Willy actually jumps you
in the initiative order.
- Do the rats attack?
- The rats actually can attack.
You can roll an attack for the rats.
- Yes.
- Just does a,
wait, where the f*ck are my rats?
- Come on, attack little friends!
- Ah, there they are.
That's a 20 to hit.
- A 20 to hit?
Cool.
That hits.
- Yeah, get 'em rats!
- I'm sorry, a 20?
- 20 doesn't hit.
I was listening to him, my apologies.
- They're on his head, though!
- I know, they're all over his body!
He looks upset!
- He looks so grossed out
that he gets disadvantage.
- You see he goes, oh, oh no.
Oh no.
This city is a filthy trash pile.
I'm covered in rats.
I hate this place.
- That's a terrible DeNiro impression.
[laughter]
- Willy does not have a lot of movement,
but he's gonna use all of it.
Yeah, that'll do it.
He hoists you up in one arm, Kingston.
- I don't like this.
- [monster voice] Let's
get moving, old man.
- Okay!
[Brennan imitates foot stomping]
- [Brennan] And, whoom!
Leaps the chasm, bam.
You land on the center platform here.
- Oh man, I love Willy.
- But that's his whole,
he only has 20 movement.
Not a fast guy, Willy, shockingly.
Rowan, it's gonna be you.
- Okay.
I'm gonna get up,
and I'm gonna say,
Santa, we could really
use some help right now.
- h*, h*, h*, h*!
Merry New Year's!
[laughter]
You see that--
- A very good call,
I forgot completely about Santa.
- I was like, what have we
done, what have we done,
what have we done, what
have we done? [laughs]
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And then I would like to,
can I use the Puppet spell on Sofia?
- Yes, you can.
- Great, then I would like
to use the Puppet spell
to move her over, to get
her safely to the ground.
- Ooh! [claps]
- Hell yeah.
You--
- To as close to Kingston as is possible.
- A bunch of marionette
strings come out of your hand.
Whoosh, swat!
And you thwack Sofia to the ground.
She's already dead, so she
ain't getting more hurt.
- Oh my God, just a dead Sofia
just drops in Kingston's lap. [laughs]
- Can I just get up and move?
- [Brennan] Yes, go for it.
What a turn, what a turn!
- What a turn, Rowan!
h*, h*, h*!
Merry Christmas!
Santa bursts through the portal,
reaches into his bag.
I've got gifts for naughty
little boys and girls this time!
[screams] And takes an eight
foot lance of peppermint
and hurls it at the American Dream.
- Wild!
- What a great Santa.
- There's some rats up there.
[Emily laughs]
- Watch the rats, Santa!
- He, you see him, [grunts] wah!
This peppermint spear thuds into the body
of the American Dream.
Ahh!
It's time for a little w*r on Earth!
Bad will to angels?
Hard to say.
[laughter]
You see, incredible.
Sondheim sprints,
One, bah, bah, bah.
[grunts]
Rushes over here.
And is actually gonna take a double move.
[imitates footfalls]
Jumps up here.
[laughter]
- [Zac] Take the stage?
- Take the stage with me!
- You see he says,
friends,
geniuses, lovers.
[laughter]
We decide the soul of America today.
When I was writing Assassins,
I pondered long and hard
on the nature of violence.
By the way, Rowan.
We haven't formally met, Stephen Sondheim.
- Oh my God, I'm such a big fan.
Is it true that you have a kink basement
hidden in your building?
- Every rumor you hear is partially true.
- [Siobhan] Hot.
- He winks,
you have a d10 Bardic Inspiration.
- Oh!
- Okay!
- [laughs] Everyone's
nodding like yes, yes, yes.
- Yeah, that reads, that checks.
- I don't know if these spun.
Did I spin these already?
No, I didn't.
- [Siobhan] No, I don't think so.
- [Brennan] So that's gonna go here.
[imitates whooshing]
And this one's actually going to,
I'll pick this up very gently.
And, whoo, there we go.
And put that right there.
That's now going to be,
Sofia, you are dead.
Who looks very badly injured here?
- I'm okay, I'm at 41.
- I'm at 25.
I'm not bad.
I'm taking half damage,
too, so it's not that--
- Em's right next to you,
so Em is going to drop
down onto the platform,
and hit you for,
[dice rolls]
Jesus, rolled two eights.
- f*ck yeah.
[electronic whistling]
- Oh sweetheart, you got banged up.
[imitates blast]
- Thanks a lot.
- Hey.
You're all right, kid.
That's going to be,
the wind.
It's gonna move across here.
I'm gonna need Pete and Ricky
and the rats to all roll dex saves.
- Okay, I have advantage on dex saves,
and you have, you can add plus four to it.
- Cool.
[dice rolls]
- I have plus four as well,
because you're in the Aura of Protection.
- 17 for the rats.
- 13.
Oh, and my dex, sorry, 16.
- Oh, you're Blessed too, right?
- I rolled it.
- Okay, so.
- 18 for you,
you got a 16.
- Pretty shitty roll,
Considering all of it.
- Yes. [laughs]
- Pete, you take 15 halved to seven.
You are flung off of the platform.
- [Zac] Towards the other thing?
- [Brennan] Nope, out into space.
- [Ally] Me?
- [Brennan] You.
- Great.
- Yeah, it's a,
sorry, this is actually
a strength saving throw,
I don't know if that would
change it for some people.
- Oh, strength versus--
- Yeah, yours would be even
higher, you're okay, Ricky.
- Mine would be lower.
- [Brennan] Yours would be lower, yeah.
- The rats would get 16 with strength.
- Can I bolster your throw?
- Pete is flung and falling.
So on Pete's turn,
he will fall into the hurricane.
- I'm sorry?
- You've got a--
- On Pete's turn, he will
fall into the hurricane.
- Stop saying that like it's okay!
- Do you have any movement things?
- Any what?
- Moment stuff?
Like Blink or whatever?
- I have a way to grab you,
but I don't know if, you might go before--
- I don't have any spell slots left
for using any of those.
- Yeah, maybe I can puppet you as well.
- Ricky, that's gonna be you.
- Oh, I might be able to,
I think I can get you.
- [Ally] Where are those
f*ck' spiders at?
They can just web us to
where we're standing.
- [Zac] I could get,
do you guys think you can get him or not?
- We don't have giant insects.
- Do y'all think you can grab Pete or not?
- I think I can maybe grab Pete.
- I have a last, last, last resort.
- I don't know that I
can do it without just
falling off the edge myself
- Pete, don't you have,
do you have Gust or anything
that you just blow yourself on course?
- I wish.
I have, as far as spell slots go...
- Okay, I'm gonna say, with Haste,
maybe, [laughs]
can I,
is there any way that makes sense to you,
using my movement to
get Pete out of the air,
just 'cause I feel like I've gotta,
'cause he's sort of in the
wrong direction it feels like.
- So,
you could...
[dramatic music]
Wait until the next spin.
Actually,
this one spins clockwise, this
one spins counter-clockwise.
Pete is headed towards here,
but the length of that section
means that on the next spin,
there will be a moment
where Pete could be moved and shoved
on to the moving platform.
- Hold your movement until then.
- I'll hold my movement 'til then,
and I'll say, Em, can you,
when you can,
can you fly me up there
to, pointing at the.
- Em nods and says,
I can get you up there as fast as I can.
And then you,
so that's free to speak.
- And I have Haste,
so can I just,
as part, that's part of my action,
so can I still just take
an attack on this tornado?
Just to see what happens?
- Yeah, you absolutely can.
You also can,
and so you,
it's an action to ready an action,
so you can use your Haste
action to ready an action.
Use your normal action, you
just spoke, which is free.
And you also have a bonus action left.
- Oh I'm,
is there anyone else to call?
- Yeah.
- [Lou] Yeah.
- I'll call Don Confetti.
I'll say Don Confetti.
- Oh, a pixie would be great.
- Yeah.
- Although they're little.
- But at least he can fly.
- Yeah, Don Confetti.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And yeah, I don't have any
f*ck' spell slots left.
- Yeah.
- What were all of our fights that we did?
- Wait, if I'm dreamless
and I'm immune to sleep related harm,
does that mean that this tornado
won't necessarily f*ck with me?
- No, it'll f*ck with you.
- Okay.
- Do you have a spell for--
- [Brennan] Cool.
- You're coming back, dude.
You're not done.
- You summon, you pull Don
Confetti through the portal.
Boom.
He appears.
[imitates whooshing]
[high-pitched] Oh, what
the f*ck is going on here?
Why have you done this to me?
- I'm so sorry.
- [high-pitched] You dirty backstabber.
- Everything's going to end
if we don't k*ll this thing.
- Cool, awesome.
- Oh, I can sh**t my g*n
when I get close to the platform, maybe.
- Push yourself closer.
- Yeah, if I just need a nudge.
Five feet?
- [Brennan] So Ricky, that's you.
And you have an action readied,
you also have an action you want to use
if you want to take a
swing at the tornado.
- I guess I'll f*ck' attack the tornado.
- You swing at the tornado.
Whoo, passes through wind.
- I won't even roll. [laughs]
- What's more American than a firefighter
swinging an ax at a tornado?
[laughter]
- It's a f*ck' mall, Brad.
- Can I take a perception roll
and just to look at the American Dream
to see how f*cked up it is, if at all?
[dice rolls]
plus perception.
- Oh, 24?
And what are you looking at specifically?
- I just want to see how
hurt is it, if at all.
I think it's been barely hurt at all.
- It's been barely hurt.
It's been hurt, but barely.
That's Ricky's turn.
- The tornado or the angel?
- I was talking about the angel, right?
- The angel, yeah.
- I only hit him for 11.
- I hit him twice,
but they were both halved.
And then the rats did not hit him yet.
- [Siobhan] Yeah.
- Yes, so the portal--
- Santa's attack.
- And Santa's attack as well.
- And Santa's attack, yeah,
Santa hurt him as well.
Cool.
Spin happens, Ricky, you
have your prepared action.
You, this one goes clockwise.
[imitates humming]
You rush, fling yourself off of here,
just as--
- [Zac] Say run on the
wall and kick off. [laughs]
- Hell yeah.
- [Siobhan] [whispering] Nice, nice, nice.
- [Brennan] I'll get this
out of here real quick.
- This is some,
Rick is crazy!
- [Brennan] No!
- Goodbye, he's dead!
- [Lou] Yeah, what if we made him fall,
would that be an unofficial--
- [Brian] His little foot broke.
- [Brennan] Hm?
- His foot.
- [Brennan] His little foot--
- [Lou] Did the foot break off?
- [Siobhan] Oh, he's dead!
- His foot broke off?
- You gotta roll a d6 for that!
You gotta roll a d6 for that!
- [Siobhan] Here's his head.
- [Ally] I'll do it for you.
- [Brennan] Thank you, hold on.
- [Ally] Four.
- Takes four damage, dude, you gotta--
- I'm just gonna add, since I'm dead,
I have radiant damage.
- I'm gonna roll one of these,
the one that's 10, he takes 40 damage.
[laughter]
- I forgot, since I'm
having sex with my husband
in the afterlife--
- You take another four.
Oh, and I forgot,
I think that's just the
damage you have to take
when your foot falls off,
that's another four.
[laughter]
- It's embarrassing when people see you!
- Ricky, you,
I'm gonna need an athletics roll from you
to be able to catch, I'm
gonna say it's a DC 15
to catch Pete.
- Athletics, okay.
And do I, advantage on dex throws.
- This is, no, this is strength.
- All right.
[suspenseful music]
[die rolls]
- And you're Blessed.
[die rolls]
- 13, a dex saving throw?
- No, no, no, this is athletics check.
- Oh, an athletics check.
I got...
That's only a 13.
- [whispering] f*ck, man.
- Pete, you're still alive, right?
- Yeah.
- You may make a DC15
dexterity saving throw.
- Oh, use some sorcery
points, and you're Blessed!
- And wait, can you Bend Luck for me?
- Nat 20!
[laughter]
Nat 20, nat 20, nat 20! [laughs]
Get us out of here!
- Take it all back, take it all back!
- Jesus.
- [Siobhan] All of your plans.
- I can't with this.
- My workout buddy, dude!
- Oh my God, you're so buff now!
- I am so buff now!
- Rowan is so impressed by whatever it is
you're about to do.
- [Ally] Good.
- Ricky, you get Pete
out of his dead fall,
but in doing so, you move
him but not yourself.
You begin to fall
until Pete, you're
holding on to Pete's leg.
- Oh my God.
- Pete, you do not make it to standing,
you are instead hanging off the edge
of this platform.
- [Siobhan] [singing] I'm on the edge!
Of glory!
[Brennan imitates scream]
- Hell yeah.
Whoo, bam.
[screams] Spinning in the trail,
[screams]
- I got you, dog!
We're like this.
- I know you got it, dude!
[laughter]
- Thanks, man!
Hey, where's your dog?
[laughter]
- Just fully crying again.
- Oh, I'm so sorry, dude.
- It's fine!
He's made of light.
Still makes me so sad.
- [laughs] Aw!
- Kugrash, I'm gonna need you
to make a dexterity saving throw.
[suspenseful music]
- That's right.
[die rolls]
That was 15 plus my dex.
- Oh no.
- [Brian] [whispers] f*ck.
[dice rolls]
- [Brennan] 10--
- Where even are you?
- Over there.
- You take 28 points of damage.
- [Brian] I am hurt.
- [imitates blast] As you are lit up
by the American Dream again.
You see, buh-buh-bum.
That is going to be-- [laughs]
- That church lady's
hat of Rats is so funny.
[laughter]
- Kingston, that goes back to you.
- Great.
I'd like to sprint up these stairs
and get to the other side--
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Of Sofie,
as I'm running up the stairs,
I'd like to yell to the gate,
La Gran Gata, your champion needs you!
And then I will cast
Revivify on Sofie Bikes.
- Yeah!
- Does that mean I come back?
- You come back.
[Emily screams]
- Yeah, I burned a fourth level--
- I was f*cking Dale!
[laughter]
- I was lying there on a
choir of angels. [laughs]
- [Brennan] La Gran Gata bursts--
- And a choir?
- La Gran Gata bursts from the portal,
it bursts from the portal, he says,
[deep voice] your
fight is not yet over.
Meow, you have much scratching me to do.
[normal voice] If you can go
place La Gran Gata over there.
[Emily laughs, claps]
- [Lou] m*rder*r's Row right here.
- m*rder*r's Row?
[Emily laughs]
That's Kingston.
It's gonna be Esther's turn.
She's still got the Haste going,
so she's got her concentration.
She goes, you see that she sprints,
can I see her real quick?
[dramatic music]
Let me take this out here.
- [whispers] Esther, do not f*ck this up.
You've gotta make this.
- Hell yeah.
You see that she runs,
Esther is a fit Warmage,
but she's still a f*ck' nerd,
so you see her sprinting,
you're worried about her
getting to that thing.
You see that she looks at you,
as you're opening your eyes, she goes,
glad you're back in the fight, girl.
[grunts]
And goes, whoom, whoom, and throws
three spinning circles of
neon runes in the void,
and jumps, striding each time,
boom, boom, boom!
Making a little three
rock bridge for herself.
- [Siobhan] Amazing.
- Yeah, girl!
- Lands here,
lands here, sees that you
made the jump off of here
and you see her go like,
[speaking quick math calculations]
All right, whoom!
And five, [imitates magical explosions]
diagonal steps appear in the air,
leading up to the angel.
[imitates expl*si*n]
- Yeah, that's my f*ck' girl!
- You know what to do!
[Emily laughs]
- Yes, I just love fighting with her!
[laughter]
- Alejandro sees the same thing,
he stands up from prone,
if someone wants to stand
him up next to those rats.
Whose rats are those,
those are Kugrash's rats?
- I think they were, yeah.
- Whose rats are these?
- Excuse me, madam?
Madam, are these your rats?
- You can't leave your rats
lying all over the b*ttlefield, g*ng!
Alejandro stands up,
and goes,
[deep voice] you've got this.
- Thank you!
I know I do.
- And hits you with
Protection From Good and Evil.
[sound of sparkling]
- [whispering] Oh my God.
- Hoo, I'm so buffed!
[Ally laughs]
- [Brennan] Buh-buh-bum.
- I watched your lungs
fly out of you earlier.
[Emily laughs]
But I'm glad you're back and feeling it.
- That was horrifying
when we found out that you were dead.
[Emily laughs]
- It was bad for us,
I'm glad you had a good
time with your husband--
- We all had to watch you die.
- This fire tornado moves right over here
to Ricky and Pete.
- Come on!
- [Brian] sh*t!
- [Lou] Come on.
- I'm gonna need dex
saves with disadvantage
from both of you.
- I have advantage.
- So that means you're
gonna roll a flat dex save.
- Does it give me advantage
too, or that's just you?
- I think it's just me,
'cause I have Haste on me.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- [Lou] Yeah you--
[die rolls]
- But you do get an extra four
from his Aura of Protection.
g*dd*mn.
I thought you said that this die
was the one that was cursed!
It's this one!
That one has rolled so
many nat ones in this game.
- Oh, but I also have Bless.
- Yeah, roll Bless.
Let me know what you roll.
- Five.
- 11.
- Oh, and I add dex, you say?
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Oh cool, that's--
- You add four to this.
- Plus four from Ricky.
- 12.
- Cool.
- Am I in danger of being thrown off?
Or should I--
- The fire doesn't appear to
have the same wind thing--
- Cool.
- That anything else does.
I'm rolling like trash over here.
- Good! [laughs]
- Yeah, exactly.
Oh, I feel so bad!
- You each take 20 points of damage.
- Mine's halved with my armor?
- Yours is 10, yep.
So whoom, as you are immolated over there
by the tornado moving--
- 20 you said?
- [Brennan] 20, yeah.
[electronic whistling]
Great.
That is going to be Kugrash.
- Sweet.
Okay.
Can, ah...
Doo doo doo doo doo.
Can I use my Haste thing
after a short rest?
'Cause I used my watch
during the last fight.
- You can use it again after a short rest.
- Okay, until the spell ends,
puts you at advantage on
dexterity saving throws.
Okay.
I think...
I'm gonna do that,
'cause I'm very slow
and it will be hard for me to,
maybe I could get up in the mix.
How hurt is everybody?
- I have one hit point.
- Jesus Christ, okay.
I'm running for Sofie.
So I am gonna have to take
a full dash to get to her.
- Are her little steps still there?
- Esther is holding this,
she's got Haste running on you
and is actively using her actions
to hold these laser
grid, [imitates thudding]
rune manhole cover of
Gramercy Occult Society steps
that are, they're not level,
they're like tom toms almost
hanging at diagonals in the air
for you to spring off of and jump up.
- This is the American
Ninja Warrior Dream.
[laughter]
- So with haste,
would it be smarter for me to,
so my speed is already doubled,
and I get another action.
So could I potentially,
'cause Kugrash doesn't
have great athletics,
I think I'd rather make
this jump than this jump.
- You're trying to make which jump?
Oh, you're trying to go--
- I think I'd rather--
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah, understood.
- [Brian] 'Cause I can run very far.
- Yeah, jumping, getting up
higher to jump down to something
that is closer will be
much easier for sure.
- I would like to do that,
'cause I think I have
basically 100 feet of movement
if I use a dash action.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Brian] Okay, so--
- What is that wolf?
- That's just the unicorn.
- [Zac] Oh, oh.
- [Brian] So how many can
I move if I can move--
- Can't you tell that wolf is a unicorn?
- 20 spaces?
- [Brennan] 20 spaces, yeah.
- Okay, so one, two, three--
- That's difficult terrain.
So that's three, four.
- [Brian] Five--
- [Brennan] Six.
- [Brian] Seven, eight...
Nine, 10.
- [Brennan] That's 50.
- And then I can jump?
- [Brennan] Yeah, jump.
- [Brian] Okay.
Down here.
- Cool.
Go ahead and make an
athletics check for me,
or acrobatics.
- All right, acrobatics would be better.
[die rolls]
Nine.
- You take five points of falling damage.
- Okay.
[electronic whistling]
Hurt.
So what did I say, that was 10 or 11?
- That's 11 down there.
- Okay, that's fine.
up next to Sofie here.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Can you move your
unicorn as a bonus action?
- Yes,
which is what I'm also gonna do.
So then I'm gonna move the unicorn.
- Is that a bonus action
or just something else?
- That's a bonus action.
So bonus action, I can move the unicorn
within 60 feet.
So I'm gonna move it to the center--
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Brian] Of all of us.
- [Brennan] Dope.
- [Brian] Bink!
And then I'm going to cast a
second level Cure Wounds on Sofie.
Healing everyone in the aura for 10.
- [Siobhan] Nice.
- Whoa, and how big is the aura?
- 30 feet.
- [Brennan] Radius?
- [Brian] Yes, aura.
I think it's a circle.
- Oh sh*t.
That is everybody.
Everybody on the center platform
including Ricky and Pete
are healed for 10.
- [Emily] Oh my God!
- Oh f*ck yeah!
- That aura!
- [Ally] That's amazing.
- Your auras!
- My man knows what he's doing.
- Yeah, you'd think
that your aura's pretty.
- [Zac] Beautiful aura.
- Disgusting.
- What color aura do you think that is?
- Esther was looking f*cked up.
Esther was looking hurt.
She's healed as well.
- 12 to you.
- Oh 12 to me.
- Plus the 10 from unicorn, right?
- Oh my, wow!
- [Ally] Hell yeah, that's amazing.
- You earned yourself a f*ck'
another free makeover.
[laughter]
- [Brian] I'll take it!
- [laughs] I'd love it.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- And then I think I still have
a little bit of movement left,
I'm kinda squishy.
So I think I'm gonna, beep, beep, beep.
Just hide back around the corner.
- [Brennan] Gotcha.
Cool, cool, cool.
- This is a big difference,
I was thinking I was definitely
just gonna die immediately again,
but this is,
I might not.
- I like the sound of that.
I can get down with that.
[Emily laughs]
- And now we have stone steps.
- Yeah, all of us can climb up.
Kingston's-- [grunts]
- Thank you!
[Lou grunts]
Esther!
- Laying a finger aside of his nose,
jolly old St. Nick--
- Aside of his nose?
- If someone wants to
hand me old St. Nick here.
- [Ally] He's doing a
bunch of coke. [laughs]
[Emily laughs]
- Snow!
[laughter]
- [Ally] Santa gets keyed up and lunges
into the dream tornado.
- You see that Santa flies over here,
whoo, you see he's like,
h*, h*, h*, h*, h*, h*!
Looks down at Stephen Sondheim,
and he says, Mr. Sondheim!
You've been a very good little boy!
Reaches into his sack,
and throws down two full
four and a half foot long broadswords.
- [Ally] f*ck!
- [Zac] What is he?
[sound of swords scraping]
- [Brennan] Stephen Sondheim--
- [Siobhan] What!
- [Ally] What, no!
[laughter]
That's not just a mini that you had!
- [Lou] That's one of the coolest things
that you've ever done!
[laughter]
Straight up,
that's one of the most amazing things--
- [Zac] I apologize.
- That you've ever done.
- I apologize.
- [Lou] Straight up?
- [Ally] Thank you!
- This fight is incredible,
that's honestly one of the coolest things,
not only to make Stephen
Sondheim a character,
then to give him two broadswords.
Respect.
- You see that he goes,
he goes--
- I apologize.
- [Brennan] Nicholas--
- I'm happy you feel that way.
- [Brennan] He goes--
- Okay!
- Nicholas,
I feel terrible.
I didn't get you anything.
Oh wait.
I did.
And winks--
- If Santa has two broadswords--
- [laughs] You see that he,
he winks at Santa Claus,
and Santa Claus blushes, and he says,
a musical Miracle on 34th Street?
Has anyone thought about it?
Could be good.
Anyway, whoom!
[sound of swords]
Whoom whoom whoom, whoom, whoom!
Ching-ching-ching-ching-ching!
Does this incredible sword dance and goes,
[singing] these are my friends!
[laughter]
That's going to be Pete.
- Really?
- [Brennan] Yeah, it's you!
- Oh no.
I would like to get up
and pull Ricky with me,
'cause I'm so f*cking buff now.
- Yeah, we have advantage
on ability checks, right?
- Oh yeah, within the aura of the--
- No that's not on, not the unicorn.
- It's not a unicorn?
- No, the spicy, the c*ck does that.
- The Juicy c*ck.
- Spicy Pidgeon.
- Spicy, oh yeah! [laughs]
- Spicy Pidgeon.
- Okay, I would like to
pull Pete up, please.
- This is gonna be a DC20 athletics check.
- I have a one to athletics.
- You've gotta roll a 19
or a 20 to pull Ricky up.
- But what happens if you fail, though?
- Pete would not fall,
but there would be a,
if you rolled, if you
got a one you would fall.
- What about if you wait
for Ricky's movement
and Ricky can just--
- If you say help,
can you give me the Help action
for when it's my turn?
- You could give the Help action,
you can also, you're
hanging on for dear life,
but you could also cast a
spell or take another action
just hanging here.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could do that.
Okay, I--
- sh**t that f*ck!
- Yes.
- But it's, you are also
hanging on for dear life,
if this things spins again,
you'll have to roll to not be
flung off into nothingness.
- Oh God.
- I'll f*ck' roll.
- All right, let's see,
- It spun after--
- 19!
[cheering]
Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Come on, buddy!
- g*dd*mn!
- Keep going, keep going!
- Oh, he's so buff!
- You have the most poetic rolls!
[Ally laughs]
- Pete, your med bracelet,
the source of your arcane focus glows,
of all the pills on it,
the testosterone pops open,
and a pill wearing a little
army helmet pops out and goes,
[shouting] come on, boys!
Pete needs us!
[normal voice] And a stream of them,
hut, hut, hut!
Leap into your open mouth.
[imitates gagging on pills]
Your muscles, [imitates bursting]
I'm gonna say free Wild Magic surge,
your strength is 20
for the rest of combat.
- f*ck yes!
- [Brennan] Pete is
f*ck' ripped, just huge!
- You said metal ripped!
- [Ally] That is amazing!
- Chrome and ripped? [laughs]
- [Ally] That's insane!
- Oh yeah, you're like
f*ck' Colossus from X-Men,
you're a huge, jacked,
chrome dream sorcerer man.
[Ally laughs]
f*cking, you're as shredded as Ricky.
- All your clothes are ripped.
- Hell yeah, dude.
f*ck' brothers, dude.
- [Ally] Glad I switched
from the testosterone gel.
[Brennan laughs]
- I take a picture of you
just for a before and after,
and just send it to you,
so you can post it. [laughs]
- Gains all day.
[laughter]
Wait, f*ck, ew,
I never wanted to become that guy.
[Emily laughs]
- Cool, that's--
- I still read!
I still read poems!
- That's just your movement.
- Yeah it is!
- But that's your,
[Zac snaps]
hell yeah.
And actually, yeah, probably
it's half your movement
getting up there,
so you guys, you actually could take
another three spaces of
movement if you want.
- Okay.
- You might want to
get away from the edge.
- Yeah, yeah, definitely.
- I would like to--
- Can Pete carry me in his arms?
[laughter]
- Yeah, you're so f*ck' jacked,
you carry Ricky like a baby.
- [Ally] I carry Ricky like a baby
to the center of the thing
so we stop spinning around.
- [Brennan] Gotcha.
- [Ally] Or as close as--
- Yeah, you get there.
- Oh my God, Pete, you look so badass.
- And then, let's see, what do I do?
I guess I'll throw another
Vitriolic Sphere up at Dream.
- Hell yeah, go for it.
- At American Dream.
So that's just a dex
saving throw for yours.
- Cool.
He succeeds on that dex saving throw,
so go ahead and roll that 10d4.
- Great.
Could I have a million d4s again, please?
- I just had my son.
Send your beautiful children.
- I have four.
Now I have six.
Seven.
Eight, nine.
One more, please.
- All right, fine, take my son.
[Emily laughs]
- Give me your sons.
All right.
- Sofie's choice over here.
- I don't believe in my son at all.
[dice rolls]
[laughter]
- Meddling again!
- Rolling an Ally every time.
- You know what, everyone?
- My daughter got a four.
- [Brennan] Woo, that's not bad!
- A bunch of fours.
Let's see.
So 15.
In half.
- Ooh damn!
This one, you can see
this one hurts this angel.
[imitates magical blast]
- [Ally] Great.
- And then can I do an arcana check
to see if I can get any more info about
what I saw in Moses's office
and try to get that rune--
- Oh sh*t.
- Go ahead and give me an
arcana check, absolutely.
[die rolls]
- 16 and five, 21.
- You look around,
you suspect that you are
inside the phylactery,
that this spell is occurring
in extra-dimensional space as the,
you're catching the Dream
in the infinitesimal moment
prior to the moment of it
entering into the world.
If this battle is lost,
this thing enters the world
and it's all over, folks.
- What did the rune sound like?
- You, from that velvet container,
from the wooden box with the
little velvet on the inside,
you know that you are
actually in proximity
to the phylactery,
you could destroy it from here,
but you would have to know the
whole rest of the sequence.
- Would the 20--
- The 21?
- Yeah, can I know kind of how to
find the rest of the sequence?
- You, yeah, with a 21,
researching it from in here
is gonna be impossible.
In order to destroy the phylactery,
you would have to
have an amount of,
in order to be able to
guess the phylactery,
you would effectively have to
be bordering on omniscient,
you would have to be a f*ck',
it would be next to impossible.
- Can we just--
- Let's just all make a bunch of noises,
and maybe one of them will be right?
[laughter]
- Like monkeys writing Hamlet.
- Yeah, you know that
there's a way to do it,
but the amount of knowledge required
to be able to do that is
beyond the scope of imagination.
That's Pete, that's your turn.
Or that's your check.
Any, and then you also have a bonus action
if you want.
- Great.
Yeah, I would like to call Nod.
- Cool, what does Pete say?
- I say,
Nod, on your way in here,
try to find out what other
runes we need to know!
In your infinite wisdom
from the dream world!
- [Brennan] Nod appears.
Everybody regains a spell
slot of the highest level
they are able to cast.
- [Zac] Oh my God!
- So you're telling me
that a second level,
I get a second fifth level--
- You get a fifth,
everyone that can cast fifth level--
- Everybody gets a spell!
- Nod appears and the raw power
of the dream realm
courses through everybody,
everyone gets a spell
slot of their highest one.
- Nod is Oprah. [laughs]
Everyone look under your seats!
[laughter]
You get a spell!
- Oh my God, I got an Impreza!
- I'm the most powerful
child there has ever been.
- True.
- Cool.
That's gonna be Nod,
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
Nod acknowledges that,
Nod's gonna make a roll.
Make an insight check.
- Great.
[die rolls]
Not good.
Seven.
- Nod seems to have the information that,
or a piece of the information
that you asked Nod to
get before coming here.
And you see that they look very sad.
- Can I mind link with them?
- [Brennan] Yes.
- What is up?
What's going on, Nod?
- The phylactery, we're already inside,
we cannot see the outside of it.
You see that Nod is busy
sort of channeling magic,
but is going to tell you,
but is like, it's hard to
communicate the information.
But Nod does appear, you
all get that spell slot.
And it's time for another spin!
[Siobhan sings carousel music]
- [Zac] What a turn. [laughs]
- What a turn!
I know, this combat, right?
- Yeah, what a turn! [laughs]
- Oy, oy!
- [Ally] Are you okay?
Are you okay?
[Lou imitates vomiting]
[laughter]
- [Brennan] You guys see
Alejandro is knocked prone
over here at the very edge.
- Even with Bless?
- Hm?
- [Lou] Even with Bless?
- Even with Bless.
- [whispering] I had to
f*ck', I Blessed that man.
- This is the most insane tableau.
Like with the characters
here, there's like,
Santa on a riser.
[laughter]
- Stephen Sondheim with two swords.
- Two broadswords!
- That is going to be--
- Do you have a mini
for Ruth Bader Ginsberg?
Can we summon her?
- [Brennan] I mean, it's too risky
to bring her to this battle.
- Yeah, absolutely not. [laughs]
- Also, if RBG--
- Once again.
Rest in Power.
- Praying for the soul
of Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
- Who is still alive.
- And more importantly,
the body of Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
[dice rolls]
- [Zac] Yipes, who's getting shot?
[dice rolls]
- [whispering] 12, 30, 33.
[normal voice] Kingston
takes 41 points of damage.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you still standing?
- Yeah.
I'm at 33.
- [Zac] Okay.
[Brennan imitates blast]
- As he sends another
rocketing ray of fire.
You are partially protected
by Alejandro's Protection
From Good and Evil.
- That went away.
- Oh, that's right, that
went away, that's right, yep.
You are not protected from that.
You see Alejandro stands up.
[die rolls]
Alejandro stands up, looks at
you, bloodied and bludgeoned,
he goes,
[deep voice] my friend! [laughs]
This tilt-a-whirl is no joke!
[normal voice] And yells out at you,
the angel immolates, destroys these rats.
- No!
[Brennan imitates blast]
- Turns to look at Alejandro.
Its eyes, whoom, go bright.
Alejandro looks up to
meet the angel's gaze.
A ray of light erupts from its open eyes.
Alejandro is hit in the chest,
sent backwards into the tornado,
and is gone.
- [whispers] f*ck!
[ambient music]
- We can see him mid-fall?
- He is destroyed.
- Oh!
[Brennan imitates whooshing]
- You see the magic woven into his coat,
and the last thing you see is
the golden glint of his eye.
[imitates whooshing]
Which lingers in the air
a moment after he is gone.
The angel turns to you and says,
there can be
no life for those who
would stand against me.
Submit
or face the same fate.
That is going to be
Willy's turn.
Two, three four.
[imitates blast]
Stands here.
Stands in the middle of the
platform facing the angel,
lifts a giant brick fist
and flips off the angel in the sky.
[monster voice] Go f*ck yourself,
chew my brick as*h*le, you prick b*tch!
[normal voice] Willy moves there.
That's going to be Rowan.
- Is there any way for
me using Esther's steps
to get within 60 feet of the angel?
- You'd have to make an
acrobatics check to get up there.
- Oh yeah, acrobatics,
yeah, I can do that.
That's fine.
- Okay, it's gonna be a
DC20 acrobatics check.
- Okay, so I just need
to get a nine or higher.
[die rolls]
I do not get a nine or
higher, I get a six.
- You do have that inspo
from your boy Sondheim.
- I do have that inspo
from my boy Sondheim!
[die rolls]
- Not gonna do it?
- How close are you?
- Yeah, I got
an 18, so I needed to get a 20.
- [Brennan] You need to get a 20.
You get up part of the way.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] You're up here.
- That's fine.
So can I then cast puppet?
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- I would like to attempt
to cast puppet on the angel,
which is a constitution saving throw.
- [Brennan] Okay.
[dice rolls]
He succeeds.
- Well f*ck me.
Is the door still open
or now Alejandro is gone,
is the door gone?
- The portal is gone.
[sound of flame]
[spooky music]
- Okay.
In which case...
[sighs] Okay.
I am going to
turn to Pete,
and be like,
that was really cool what you just did.
[sound of shimmering]
And give Pete Bardic Inspiration.
- Oh, thank you! [laughs]
- You look really buff right now.
- Thanks!
Yeah, I have been working out for a while.
It is nice to see the body change,
I do feel really like myself.
- I reach out to feel your pecs.
- It happens all at once.
It's like, you don't notice.
- It's like nothing at all,
and then boom, all at once.
- [Siobhan] Biceps.
- Yeah. [clears throat]
- That is Rowan's turn.
Sofia, that's gonna be you.
- Okay.
Tipsy Sway, pop right back up.
- [Brennan] Five feet of movement, yep.
- I just want to book it up,
up them stairs.
- Rad, let's see--
- Do I need to use Step
of the Wind to get to him?
- You might need to do
it to take a dash, yeah.
- Yeah, okay.
- 'Cause let's see, 'cause
your movement's 45, right?
- [Emily] Yeah.
[banging] Ooh!
- Yeah, so yeah, you would
need two movement increments
to make it up there.
- Okay.
So Step of the Wind to get up to him.
- Definitely jump off Willy.
Just for flavor.
- Okay, yeah!
I go over, I leapfrog over Willy.
- [Zac] Willy didn't really do anything,
could he throw her?
- Oh, Willy's doing a lot
by not doing anything,
he's granting everybody
advantage on saving throws
five feet around him,
and preparing actions to
catch people if they fly off--
- Gotcha, gotcha.
- Willy's a defense player,
you know what I mean?
- Right.
- So I get up there,
so that's my bonus, right?
- That's your bonus.
- Okay, so I use up my bonus.
That's fine.
Just for future reference, though,
would disadvantage on ability checks
make him have disadvantage on
constitution saving throws?
- It would.
If you can give him
disadvantage on saving throws,
it would--
- Can't right now, 'cause
I used my bonus action.
So I'm going to--
- That would change everything!
He's passed all of my sh*t!
- I want to so f*ck' bad!
- [Ally] Yeah.
- Rad.
You, boom, boom, boom, boom!
Esther's keeping the platforms there.
[imitates footsteps]
Go ahead, give me just the,
oh actually no, 'cause you don't have
difficult terrain, right?
- No.
- Cool, yeah, you get up there easily.
- Okay.
And I'm f*ck' going after him!
[die rolls]
- Hell yeah.
- Does a, okay...
Does, I think this hits.
Does a 16 plus, 25--
- 25 hits!
Yes it does!
- Okay!
All right, b*tch!
Gonna hit him for 13 and then I would like
to ki point Stunning Strike him.
- Cool
How much damage you do real quick?
- I did a 13.
- Cool.
Boom, he's gonna make a save.
- [Emily] Constitution.
- And does he have, he doesn't have--
- He doesn't have, I didn't
get a chance to hex him,
I used my bonus action getting up there.
- Gotcha.
[die rolls]
So I couldn't ever cast
a spell as a reaction,
even if it was just bonus action?
- Correct.
He saves.
- Saves, f*ck.
Okay, I'm going after him again.
[die rolls]
Does a 21 hit?
- 21 does hit.
- Yes!
- So now we know his AC,
his AC is 21.
- Okay.
- Gonna hit him for another seven,
gonna try and Stunning Strike him again!
- Oh, do you give radiant damage on these?
- Yeah, I'm adding them.
- Oh, sorry.
Let me know--
- So I hit him for another 15, sorry.
- Another 15, gotcha.
- Another 15, I want to
Stunning Strike him again.
- Cool, hold on one second.
- He probably has resistance
to radiant damage.
- Oh, two of those are radiant damage.
- He's gonna make another save.
[die rolls]
Passes.
- f*ck!
Okay, then I'm gonna f*ck'
go at him one more time!
[die rolls]
I don't hit him.
f*ck!
[Brennan imitates strikes]
- But you do start injuring him.
He's beginning to look
a lot like,
he's--
[laughter]
He's beginning to look a
little bit staggered or winded.
- [Emily] Kay.
[Brennan imitates thudding]
- We need that disadvantage thing.
He has f*cking advantage on everything.
- You see,
charging up behind you, Sofia,
you hear, never one to be outdone,
Stephen Sondheim--
- [claps] Oh yay!
- Charges up, he says,
you get the back, I get the front!
What do you say, Ms. Lee?
- Sounds good to me!
- And Stephen Sondheim and Sofia Lee
start flanking the American Dream--
- [Emily] Woo!
- Fighting in the sky!
[laughter]
Cool.
'Cause you know, you are
leaping up to hit him,
so you are going to, on
your next turn, fall,
you'll have to make dexterity saves,
there are platforms underneath you.
- I'm aware of that.
But on his turn, I'm still going to be
within five feet of him.
- That's right, so at the
beginning of your turn,
you're gonna take more attacks,
and then you're gonna fall.
Cool.
Sondheim's gonna make some attacks.
[die rolls]
- Is Sondheim also jumping
or is he just straight up flying?
- No, he's jumping.
- Whoa!
- Huge bounding leaps with
these two broadswords.
- He's attacking another Sondheim.
[laughter]
- I think he's a song or swords bard.
- [Brennan] Yeah. [laughs]
Cool.
- Did he make attacks?
- He does.
You see he skewers the
angel for some more damage,
he's like, sliding a
broadsword through his chest
that gleams with some of
Santa's magical energy.
He goes,
sharp and cutting,
that's how I like my wit
and my blades!
[imitates sound of twirling blade]
[Emily laughs]
[laughs] That is going to be
Confetti.
[Brian laughs]
- Confetti, could you
just come hold me up here,
so I could use my f*ck' bonus action
to hex this m*therf*cker?
- Can you Tails him to Sonic?
[laughter]
- [Brennan] You--
- Confetti, you kinda owe me.
- The girl in Donkey Kong 2.
- Oh yeah.
- [Zac] Dixie?
- She's up.
[laughter]
- You see, hold on a second.
You see Don Confetti go,
[high-pitched] of course,
I would be completely happy
to assist you in any way I can.
- [Emily] Ha!
- [Brennan] And flies
right into the subway.
- f*cking coward!
- I forgot one thing,
he has, when I, 'cause I'm a Mage Slayer,
he actually has disadvantage
on saving throws
to make, not on saving throws,
but to maintain concentration.
If he has any spells
that have concentration,
he would have had to had disadvantage.
- Gotcha.
[die rolls]
- Not on saving throws,
disadvantage on
concentration saving throws.
- Gotcha.
[die rolls]
- In case any of these--
- That's an amazing feat.
- It's very good.
He maintains, I'm gonna need you to make
a dexterity saving throw for me.
[suspenseful music]
- Okay.
[Lou laughs]
[die rolls]
- How's a 28 sound?
- You take no damage whatsoever.
[Emily claps, laughs]
- Did he just cast a spell?
- No, he has an active spell on him.
- Okay.
[dice rolls]
Oh, if that was a spell,
I actually get advantage
on saving throws against spells.
- Cool.
- [Emily] When I'm within five feet.
- Gotcha.
- Sondheim takes some damage.
[grunts, imitates whooshing]
As light slashes into him.
That's going to be--
- Has Em gone?
- Confetti, Em is going now.
- Confetti ran away?
- Confetti did run away.
- Of course.
- Hey, it was a lot to hope--
- Was she--
- It was a nice try.
- I wonder if she wanted
to pick me up or not,
but maybe I run up those stairs.
- I mean, it's still pretty cool
to be carried by an angel.
- You're actually very--
- I may be too far away to do it.
- You are quite far
away from where she is.
- Em, you could come hold me
so I could have, so I don't
have to use a bonus action
to get up every time,
and then I could hex this m*therf*cker
and he'd get disadvantage on constitution.
- She actually is going to make,
she flies up with a reaction,
and does a little basket
scoop with her legs
flying underneath you.
- Yes!
- That's, buh-buh-bum.
- Love singing Angel
just like in-- [laughs]
- [Brennan] That's gonna be--
- Alley oop in you.
- Yeah.
- These, roll a dex save
for these rats over here,
if you'd be so kind.
- Oh no!
- Oh, that's right!
- They can't do much.
Six.
- They are flung into oblivion.
- Bye, guys.
- [Siobhan] It's been nice.
- That is...
[suspenseful music]
That is gonna be, 40,
so these are gonna move over here.
[imitates wind whistling]
Then, and actually, this
is moving up, actually.
Put it on a little riser.
[imitates wind whistling]
That is the wind.
La Gran Gata.
- Ooh!
- Yes!
- Come on, girl!
Show 'em what you got!
Girl, guy, I don't remember.
[Ally laughs]
Whatever you want to be.
Here, kitty kitty. [laughs]
- Pick it up and look at its butt.
[Emily laughs]
- You see that La Gran Gata goes,
[growling] meow, you're doing fine.
Let's get you some help.
[normal voice] And,
whoo, [imitates strike]
turns into that whirlwind
of sparkle around Ricky.
- Yeah!
- It's going to help you move.
- Okay, cool.
[Brennan imitates wind whistling]
- You have an extra move
action on your turns.
- [Brian] Nice!
- So you're Hasted and have an extra move.
- Tight, and I have Freedom of Movement.
- Yeah, you have Freedom of Movement.
You can boogie.
That's La Gran Gata,
Ricky, that's you, baby.
- Okay.
Ricky is--
- Take me with you!
- Fireman's hold?
- Yeah!
- [Zac] Do you think I could take--
- Pick me up, Mr. March!
- I'm pretty strong.
Could I move all the way to him
with Freedom of Movement
and whatever that thing is?
- So yes, you have an extra 30.
So it's 60.
- [Zac] And up these steps.
- [Ally] Yeah, Haste gives you a lot.
- And you have, so you'd probably have
to use your Haste action
to take that extra action.
- [Zac] Okay.
- 90 can definitely get you to him.
- Well, your speed is doubled with Haste.
- Oh!
- And then you get an extra action.
- And you get an extra move!
So you actually do 60,
oh, you're, Ricky is a
blinding bolt of glowing light.
[sound of wind whistling]
We are having a real sky battle, g*ng!
Ricky, you--
- Nobody can fly.
- Go ahead and give me a
athletics with advantage.
- Okay, great.
[dice rolls]
Nat 20.
- Oh God.
[cheering]
- Oh God.
- Here we go.
- I hope you got more of these sticks.
- [Ally] This is some Radio Shack.
[laughter]
- [Zac] We're getting a
great signal right now.
- [Ally] Yeah! [laughs]
We're stealing so much cable!
- Look at this sh*t,
it's a fight in the sky!
How do you not like that?
- It's great.
[Brennan imitates footfalls]
- That's go, so Ricky, that's your move.
That takes, that's just your movement
and your extra movement,
so you actually have an
action and an action left.
- f*ck' Don Confetti.
- I'm going to speak with my ax.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And just ask it, do you think I should,
should I use it now?
- Oh, you had that super secret card!
- You see that the questing blade says,
[ambient music]
I would only use that power, master,
in the most dire of circumstances.
If you feel that the battle
could yet sway in your favor,
I would see you hold on.
- I'm going to, hmm.
I'll use, can I use,
can I try to grapple him?
- Yeah, absolutely, you
can try to grapple him.
- I'm trying to decide what...
Can I make a perception
check of how hurt he is?
- Yeah.
[die rolls]
It's two 12s.
- Cool.
He's hurt.
He looks hurt.
- Okay.
I'm just going to attack him, then.
- Dope.
Go ahead and give me a
dexterity saving throw.
- Okay.
I have advantage on that.
[dice rolls]
I got a 20.
- 20, cool.
[dice rolls]
You take, 11, 17.
You take 26 points of slashing damage
as you enter the range of this spell
by getting close to the Dream.
- Okay.
[electronic static]
- Cool.
But go ahead and take your attacks.
- Okay, so--
- Let's go, Ricky!
- I, [sighs]
I'm trying to decide if I want to
use one of those attacks to grapple him,
does that make any sense?
Hmm.
I'm just gonna take the
first two swings at him.
- Cool, go for it.
[dramatic music]
[die rolls]
- That's two misses I think,
'cause a 20, no, no,
- Ooh, yeah.
- 24 hits, right?
- Yeah!
- 24 does hit, yes.
- And I'll use the third
level Divine Smite on him.
- Hell yeah, go for it.
- And does it seem like it
will do more damage to him?
- You're not sure if the
radiant will do more.
You're not sure.
- So that would be third level is--
- [Brennan] Is gonna be 4d8?
- Plus your regular attack.
- So it's 5d8 plus eight damage.
- Cool, can I have some d8s?
- Yeah!
- Oh no!
Wow, incredible, that
could've been so much worse!
[dice rolls]
- Yeah, I'm amazed that that didn't, yeah,
that should've knocked down all of them.
[dice rolls]
- Oh my goodness, so precarious.
- Okay, cool.
Cool.
So eight, eight,
plus 10, 18.
Plus...
- Ooh, hell yeah.
- And yeah.
- Incredible.
You, whah!
Lay into him, badly hurt
him with your first swing.
That's going to, you can
take your second attack.
- I did two, my second one missed.
- Second one missed,
first one was 30, cool.
- [Zac] Okay.
- [Brennan] And then you
have your other action
from Haste, I believe, right?
- Okay.
I'm going to,
and to grapple, hmm.
- Grappling would mean you wouldn't fall.
You could hold on to him.
- Okay, I will grapple.
I'll try to grapple him.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Do you get something
from Haste for strength?
- Go ahead and let me
know what you roll for,
so it's just an athletics roll.
- Okay.
- And what you need to beat is a 24.
- [quietly] Okay.
[Siobhan hums]
[normal voice] And I
don't have Bardic, right?
Oh, I forgot to put, okay,
so my second attack was 17,
Oh, even with a four, would I hit him?
- 21.
- Can I just roll my
Bardic just to make sure?
- Yeah, sure.
- Yeah, I got a four.
- Oh, you hit him on the second one.
Yeah, go for it.
- My second attack would be 2d8.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
[dice rolls]
- That's eight plus eight, so 16.
- Whoa!
- Why is it 2d8, or are
you doing another Smite?
- That's just a regular, one, oh,
whoops, so okay, six plus eight.
- Six plus eight, 14, gotcha.
- All right.
So that hit.
And now I'll do the try to grapple him.
- Cool.
- Okay.
So that would be...
[die rolls]
[Emily gasps]
- You did it!
- 17 plus nine,
you did it!
[Emily claps]
Cool, and you grab on to him,
you're not going anywhere!
- [Zac] Cool.
- Incredible.
That's gonna be another spin.
- [Lou] No!
- [Emily] How?
- Oop!
- [Brennan] We're good.
We are good, g*ng.
- [Zac] And then, oh, I want to yell--
- It's Rowan.
- [Zac] To Kingston and Pete,
maybe you guys should
do something together,
I don't know. [laughs]
- That's what I was thinking.
- [Siobhan] Yeah.
[Emily imitates whooshing]
- The Populi and the Phantasma.
- [Ally] We're on each side of this--
- [Brennan] As you suggest that,
go ahead and make a,
make an arcana roll,
or a religion roll, either one.
- Oh my God.
It's a pop-tasma!
- [Ally] [whistles] Five.
Eight.
- I think I'm gonna hit 15.
- [Brennan] Mkay.
- You want to use your Bardic for that?
Probably not, right?
- Your religion as a
Bard isn't better than--
- [Ally] Oh, I didn't use plus though.
- My religion is low.
- Really?
- 11.
- That's crazy.
- I would think you would
be proficient in it.
Maybe you didn't choose that.
- [Lou] I didn't choose that.
I chose more like city street insight,
those sorts of things.
- Makes sense.
- All right, what am I at?
Three, six,
five.
- [Brennan] So you're 11.
- 10.
- 21.
- [Ally] 21.
- You see Sofia
is currently,
you see an image of the symbol
of the Order of the Concrete Fist,
that yin and yang between
dream and the waking world.
And you see that she is some figure of
divine, celestial importance now.
Something Sofia talked to
you about the chosen one,
but you think with that 21, roll of 21,
if you--
- You could come up here
and create it with me!
- If you and Kingston were to have magic,
your individual magics working
on Sofia at the same time,
some wild sh*t might go down.
- [Siobhan] [whispers] f*ck!
- That is, that's the,
I'm gonna need--
- Did you guys relay that?
- [Ally] Yeah, we let everyone,
I can Mindlink to everyone.
- [Brian] Cool.
[sound of wind whistling]
- Well, I have her Blessed,
so I guess it would just be a matter of,
if you cast something on--
- So yeah, if Pete did.
And this one's going counter-clockwise,
I'm gonna make sure she stays up.
- [Lou] Yeah.
- [Brian] So I'll do something--
- [Brennan] There we go.
Oop, sorry Sondheim!
- Sondheim!
- [Brennan] Ooh, his swords are all right!
- Sondheim!
- Lot of risers!
And then this is going
this way, so, whoom.
- f*ck!
[Brennan imitates whooshing]
- Wait, I'm still on the platform, though.
I'm not here.
- [Brennan] Hm?
- I'm on the platform.
- [Emily] She's standing in the--
- I'm not moving, I'm--
- [Brennan] Oh, that's right.
- [Siobhan] I'm on the platform.
- [Brennan] Yes, you're back
over here on the platform,
that's right, you're here.
And then our boy Sondheim over here.
[laughter]
Bada-boom.
- And Santa probably is
over there as well, right?
'Cause he's floating in midair.
- That is correct.
Okay.
Buh-buh-bum.
That's gonna be,
I will need everybody on platform so,
that's gonna be Pete, Kingston,
Kingston, you're within
what, five feet of Willy,
so you get advantage,
and Kugrash, and Esther
to all make rolls.
- Is this a spell?
- No, this is just the spinning,
this is just, these are just--
- [Brian] Dex saves?
- These are all dex saves.
Let me know if you roll 17 or lower.
- 20.
- 18.
- Good.
- Good?
Cool.
We're gonna roll for Esther.
[die rolls]
Esther is flung back.
- [Siobhan] Oh f*ck!
- [Emily] Get in there, Willy!
- How flung back?
- We're gonna see,
she's first of all going
to make a dexterity save.
She fails.
[Emily gasps]
- [Siobhan] f*ck!
- [Brennan] We're gonna see...
Willy is going to make a check,
this is gonna be a Box of Doom roll.
- Oh my God.
- f*ck!
Ricky!
- She liked you the whole time! [laughs]
Oh no!
- Willy is going to grab Esther.
It's got to hit her AC, which is 15.
He gets a plus eight.
On a seven or higher,
Willy will grab her.
[suspenseful music]
- Can you get ready to Bend Luck?
[die rolls]
- [Brennan] Two.
- [Siobhan] f*ck!
- Can I Mage Hand to her,
no I don't have an action!
- I can grab her if she's
only falling within 30 feet,
maybe.
- You have two, even with
four would be six, right,
and she needed seven.
- Yeah, Willy was,
needed a seven or higher,
so he was five away.
- Even with Bend Luck, it wouldn't,
and I'm out of sorcery,
I don't have two sorcery
points left, I only have one.
- Yeah, and Cutting Words
only detracts, you can't add.
- Is she Blessed?
No.
- No.
- [Ally] Or is Willy Blessed?
- [Siobhan] No.
- Esther on her, begins to fall.
On her next initiative
order, she will be destroyed.
- Okay.
[Brian sighs]
- Vwoom!
Willy, [monster voice] aah!
[normal voice] Misses.
I'm going to need
[suspenseful music]
Ricky and Sofia to make
dexterity saving throws.
- Okay.
- Against a magical effect.
- Okay.
[dice rolls]
Okay.
- 19.
- 19, okay.
- [whispers] Jesus Christ.
[dice rolls]
- [whispers] Five, nine, 15, 17.
[normal voice] Sofia, you
take 12 points of damage.
- Is this halved--
- This is halved.
- 'Cause evasion would
mean I don't take any.
- No, you failed the save.
So you're taking 12, you take half, yeah.
- 21 failed it?
- 21 failed it.
- So how much do I take, 12?
- [Brennan] 12, you take 25, Ricky.
[electronic whistling]
- How are you looking?
- I have 30.
- Sondheim's looking messed up.
[imitates magical blast]
- And this was a,
not like an attack at someone else, right?
- Oh, was this a spell that he did?
- This is a Legendary Action that he did.
- Okay.
- But you, I think you will
get an attack of opportunity.
- Okay, so I'm deciding whether or not
to use my reaction right now.
- Okay.
That's going to be--
- Wait, so you said I could
use my attack of opportunity.
- You can if you want.
If you want to.
- [Emily] Yeah, I do.
- [Brennan] Cool.
[dice rolls]
[sighs] Does not hit.
Yeah, it doesn't hit.
f*ck.
- Bless?
- I would use Bless, I got it.
- Kingston, it is your turn.
- You can't do, with
they having to do that.
All right.
[sighs] There's much too much going on.
First, I'm gonna look at Santa
and say, and then point to Esther and say,
handle that.
- Mm-hmm.
- Then I'm going to step
on top of the platform,
extend my hand up and cast,
how far, how much distance is between me
and everyone up there?
If I'm standing at the highest possible,
if I'm standing up here.
Or as close as I possibly can be.
- Is what you need, right?
- [Lou] Yeah.
- No.
- No?
- [Brennan] No.
- Climb up, those steps.
- Oh, no way.
I'm a--
- If Esther goes away,
isn't that, aren't those
steps gonna go away?
- I mean, well, I can't save Esther.
And I also, I don't know,
my athletics is plus one.
- What else are you gonna do?
Or acrobatics, how's your
acrobatics, also bad?
- Also plus one.
- Okay.
- Well, what is the
acrobatics to climb a stair
instead of getting all the way up there?
- [Ally] Like Esther's stairs.
- What would it take to get to within 60?
- I think I've been saying DC20, right?
- Yeah, so you'd have to get a 19 or 20.
- Hmm, okay.
- What are you trying to do, Healing Word?
- I have Mass Healing Word,
but I have to be within 60 feet.
- Maybe this is the time
for some Divine Intervention.
- I mean, for who, Esther?
- Although you got that
thing with Pete, right?
Should you ready an action?
- I'm already Blessing Sofia,
so she's already under my kind of magic.
- Oh right.
- You know what?
I'm gonna hit, I'm gonna ready a,
I'm gonna ready a second
level Guiding Bolt
to hit the Dream at the
same time that Sofia does.
- Only because it is a matter
of public record at this point,
I am going to chime in, just
'cause I don't want everyone
to feel like I dicked you guys over
and was a bad DM,
Esther is next in the initiative order.
That's all I'm just gonna--
- Oh, okay.
- [Siobhan] Oh.
- Could you get to her
and try to grab her?
- Can I, I mean, can I?
- There's a risk that you
would go in after her,
but yeah, you absolutely could.
- I have to try.
- Yeah.
- And then there's also
the extremely small,
you know, there's the
Divine Intervention, but--
- Of course.
- [Brennan] Of course.
- But I can use that if I need to.
- What's Divine Intervention?
- I ask God to help me, of New York City.
What is the, what's the--
- You can make it there in your movement
and just go to try to reach her.
This is gonna be another Box of Doom roll.
You're trying to hit,
it's just proficiency
plus one of your physical,
so strength or dexterity.
- Both one.
- [Brennan] Both one?
- [Lou] So five.
- And her AC is 15.
- 10 or higher.
- Come on, Kingston!
- Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
Yeah, okay.
- Are you Bardic or anything?
- [Lou] No.
- Could I give him my lucky point?
Just as flavor, it's my last lucky point?
- This is true love, isn't it?
[Lou laughs]
- I think it would help, yeah.
- Let's see what this first roll is
before we start talking
about lucky points.
[suspenseful music]
[die rolls]
- [Ally] Yes, okay, woo!
[Ally claps]
[Emily sighs]
- [Siobhan] Jesus Christ.
- [Ally] We're back in business!
- Willy goes, sees Esther about to fall,
[monster voice] Kingston!
[normal voice] Wah, his brick hand misses.
You move,
you move with a spryness
and agility unbecoming,
but you hear the voices behind you going,
[whispers] come on, Kingston.
You gotta look out for us.
[normal voice] Whoom, bam!
And grasp her in a double forearm
as her feet trail off into space.
- [Emily] Ooh!
- [Lou] Oh God.
- That is your,
that is your movement and I'm
gonna say your action as well.
- Okay.
- You have a bonus action.
- Oh, duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh.
I think that's going
to be, I think that's,
I think that's going to be, yes,
I think that's it.
I'm sorry, yeah.
- Cool.
Esther...
[die rolls]
Esther pulls herself up.
Just again like tears streaming like,
[heavy breathing]
and you see that, swirling in the tornado,
[imitates whistling wind]
that little glimmer of
gold appears one last time,
and a little chuckle.
[sound of Alejandro laughing]
And a voice say,
[deep voice] she'll be good
for the Society, my friend.
I'm off to see my darling wife.
[sad music]
- Goodbye, friend.
- [deep voice,
whispering] Goodbye, friend.
[normal voice] You pull Esther up,
Esther for her action goes,
I've f*cking had it!
Whoom!
And on all five of these squares,
she makes some of those force field plates
that are like, [imitates thudding]
that bin you guys in
so that no one can get
flung off of that wall.
- Cool.
- Good to have you back, Esther!
- Love you, girl!
That was a close call!
- Oh my God, I'm here for you!
- I'm going to need Pete to,
who has summoned Nod here
to roll a 1d4 for me.
[die rolls]
- Four.
- Every spellcaster, every, so,
Kugrash, Pete, Misty--
- Rowan.
- And Kingston, so sorry.
Kugrash, Pete, Rowan, and Kingston
each regain a fourth level spell slot.
Ricky regains a second level spell slot.
If you have spell slots that you've spent,
you regain a first level--
- I haven't.
- Cool, so you don't gain anything.
And Nod floats up to this platform,
looks at you all and says,
[high pitched] trust
in the power of dreams
to deliver you in these dark times.
Destroy this angel, I
hate his stupid guts,
he's a butthead.
[laughter]
And that's going--
- Can I link with,
Mindlink with Nod and ask
what was going on, what was the bummer?
- Nod looks at you and says,
[ambient music]
to destroy the phylactery
would require a knowledge of
the outside of this realm.
That knowledge evades us
while we are trapped in here,
and if we leave, we will
lose the opportunity to act
as the fate of the battle
inside of this spell
will resolve.
Meaning, if we were to
leave to find the phylactery
on the outside,
it would be too late.
- But does anyone within
this spell know it?
- There is a way for
ones within this spell
to know anything.
- How?
- They look over at Kugrash.
[soft music]
- [gasps] The bagel!
Okay!
f*ck yeah.
- That is Nod.
With that, we are going to
take a pause,
a pause that will sadly
have to span episodes.
[laughter]
Thank you all very much--
- You're kidding!
- Thank you all very much
for watching this episode
of The Unsleeping City.
Looking at you from in
between all these little bars.
- I can't go home!
[laughter]
- Yeah, we stay here 'til
we finish this, you coward!
- Tune in next week for
the thrilling conclusion
of The Unsleeping City.
- f*ck you, Brennan.
- You guys want some more dice?
[laughter]
The American Dream looks hurt,
but not nearly on its last legs.
[gasps] [evil laughter]
[gravelly] Guess the
cat's out of the bag, kid.
[normal voice] See Kugrash
pull the bagel out of his bag.
- What?
- I'm actually going to
need everybody but Zac
to please adjourn to the green room.
- [Siobhan] What the hell is happening?
- [Ally] What the f*ck?
- [Lou] Oh man!
This is wild!
[dramatic music swells]
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03x16 - Times Squaremageddon
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.