- Welcome to the Unsleeping City.
- You are what is known in Arcane Circles
as a vox phantasmus.
- I'm a voice for the dreams?
- In the history of New
York there has never been
a vox phantasmus and a vox
populi at the same time.
- And a what?
- The vox populi.
- You guys actually end up crossing
through Bethesda Fountain.
I'm the angel of the
waters, you can call me Em.
- Did you happen to see
anything weird going on?
- Don Confetti's daughter
is getting married.
- We're just gonna run up in
the pixie mafia's wedding?
- You feel the flask full of
water from Bethesda Fountain
get burning hot in your pocket.
- Something's going wrong
with the angel of the Bethesda Fountain.
- The statue of the angel
is gone from the fountain.
The statue was somehow
removed from the fountain
and dragged down into the sewers.
- Can I see if there's any bugs?
- You actually hear in the distance,
the king has returned, the king, the king.
- Oh is this the f*cking Rat King?
- Oh, you are too late, I am afraid.
I have been gifted my bride.
Try and stop me brigand.
Welcome back, one and all,
to the Unsleeping City.
My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan,
these are our Intrepid Heroes.
Say hi, Intrepid Heroes.
- Hi, Intrepid Heroes.
- We find them deep underground
in the sewers of New York City.
Grimy, filthy, smelling of sh*t and piss
our heroes face The Rat King.
Here, looking on this ancient cistern
underneath the reservoir of New York,
the aqueduct coming down into
the city in Central Park,
this ancient cistern, The
Rat King's swarming, massive.
So many hundreds and hundreds of rats
with their tails all
tied together in a knot,
wearing a golden crown.
You have entered this
cistern and you see the door,
boom, slam shut behind you
and locks as The Rat King goes
and presses this little panel
over here on the wall next to him.
Well, my friends, it
seems that you have come
to the court of The Rat King.
And you, Kugrash,
pretender to the thrown—
- You're a dumb-a*s.
You got all your f*cking tails
tied together, untangle 'em.
- We are royalty and we do not
have our tails tied together.
We have one tail to unite
all rat folk as one people.
You know nothing usurper.
- This dude sucks, he's a dumb-a*s.
- Oh my God, I just thought of something.
We have to keep Kug away from The Rat King
or Kug, you have a tail, right?
- Your tail shall become
one with our tail.
- I tied my tail—
- No way.
- No, that's f*cking
disgusting, you're disgusting.
- We do not suck, in fact, we rule!
And soon we shall rule all.
- You seem like you suck.
- Yeah, no, I think we're
all in agreement back here
that you suck, dude.
- I'm getting suck vibes.
- This is disgusting, why am I here?
- Well, it's not, I mean,
the sewers are nice.
He's disgusting specifically.
- Okay, you know what?
- You do not wish to be in
the court of The Rat King?
Well, cry me a river.
Beep.
And water starts to course
in out of the pipes.
- I knew it, I knew it.
- Water starts to course in
out of the pipes into the room.
It's sink or swim in the
court of The Rat King.
Come, my minions, and join
our glorious revolution,
our new queen is here.
You guys don't see Em, the
Angel of Bethesda anyway,
as he says, our new queen is here.
Misty, you are first to act.
- Ah, sh*t, how far away is he, far?
He's far, right?
- He's very far away.
- He's more than 120
feet away, yes, he is.
Also it doesn't matter.
- He is, that's 80.
So from there it's another,
he's, yeah, he's like
maybe like 130 feet away.
- Now can you explain this
little platform situation
in the middle here?
How, do we, we would have to
do like an acrobatics check
to jump to these platforms—
- So, any step that you
see that is not, like,
normal human-sized step basically,
you can either just use
movement to get past it,
meaning it's like extra difficult terrain.
So basically to go from
one step to the next step
on these giant stone platforms,
is gonna take about 15 feet
of your movement, right?
One for the normal step and
then 10 to get up the vertical.
- Great.
- You can also use acrobatics
or athletics to make
that terrain a little bit
less difficult for yourself.
- For now, I'm just gonna ready an action,
but I am gonna look over
at young Ricky Matsui
and say, Ricky?
- Yeah?
- Don't take this the wrong way,
but you can really rock
a fireman's outfit.
And I give you bardic inspiration.
- Thanks.
- Awesome, what is the
action you're readying?
- Do I have to say that?
I am potentially readying
Crown of Madness,
but that only works if there
are more fighters in play.
And right now The Rat King
is the only one there.
- So you're gonna, so to
express your ready action,
if an enemy combatant comes
within range of the spell,
you are going to cast
Crown of Madness on them?
- Yes.
- Dope, awesome.
Kingston, that's you.
- I'd like to bless...
I was about to call you Kristen.
Pete, Ricky and Sofie Bikes.
So I'll—
- Sofie, I feel like
you've been here before.
- You're so drunk already.
- That champagne was a wild ride.
- Can you put that broken flute down?
- Exactly, Sofie, you—
- I'm picking my teeth with it?
- But I bless the three of them.
And then, I guess I'll, the
water is starting to rise.
Can I do an insight check to
see how much, or the rate,
or can I do some kind of
guesstimation as to how long?
- Give me a insight, give
me a perception check.
- Perception, great.
It's gonna be 11.
- It is a geyser of water coming in here.
- Got it.
- And it's like four power,
this is like water mains
that have been fully
opened onto the space.
- Great, I'll take, I'll
take like, I guess I'll go,
one, two, three.
That's what?
- 15
- 15, and then can I use 15 to get here?
- Yup, you can use 15 to get
up right on there, absolutely.
- We can't walk on the
water at this point, right,
it's too deep?
- Well, it's pretty viscous and murky.
But you do see that this
is a drain right here,
so you're guessing there's probably
only three or four feet of water.
So you could actually, if you wanted to,
charge through the water,
it would just be difficult terrain.
It would halve your movement.
Awesome.
That's gonna be Pete.
- I'd get kinda stranded out there
if I try to do that water,
'cause I can't jump up.
- You can't jump to that?
- I mean, I can jump up to that,
but if I try to do the water route
and I get caught, like, right
here, these are too high.
- Oh, I know what you're saying, right,
if you go around, it'll
be harder to jump up—
- Yeah, if I'm trying to go around,
yeah, I could get caught.
- I feel like we just
gotta get to high ground.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay, I'm gonna do...
The same movement as Kingston.
Just go up, pop up next to
him and then I'm gonna cast,
I'm gonna cast minor illusion
as like just a,
a stinky wet piece of cheese.
Right here.
- Oh, f*ck.
- I'm gonna need you to roll
a deception check for me,
with advantage 'cause
you're creating an illusion.
- Cool, and deception, I have plus seven.
- Cool, roll with advantage?
- Six.
- 17 plus, plus—
- Plus seven, so 24.
- You guys see the most
incredible wheel of—
The most incredible wheel of
some crazy, like, French cheese
that's only made in one village.
Pete, you feel yourself
reaching sort of in
and you go into yourself for a second
and it's like 1892 and it's
Ellis Island in New York.
And you see that there
is a little French man
getting off a boat who says,
I shall open a cheese shop here
and make the greatest
cheese there has ever been.
And the cheese he is dreaming of,
boom, appears at the end of your hand
and appears right here, right on the pipe.
The Rat King says, rats,
that cheese must be mine!
You see that where the cheese appears,
a bunch of rats that were set
out to come and attack you
appear and attempt to get that cheese.
- Ooh!
- f*ck yeah.
- Amazing.
Ricky, that's gonna be you.
- Okay, this feels maybe
dumb but I'm going to cast,
I get to cast divine sense.
I can use it a couple times a day,
so I wanna cast it to see
if I can tell where the,
where the fountain person is.
- Okay, quick rule check while I see
the range of divine sense.
- It's 60 feet, within 60.
- 60 feet?
The celestial presence goes
deeper into the chamber,
but you do not think within 60 feet of you
that the angel is here.
So you don't think that
she's under the water
near you, for example.
- Okay.
I will...
I'm gonna go over here.
So one, that's 15 feet,
so that's 20 feet, 10.
I can't hop over to here, right?
- You can absolutely
jump over there, yeah.
- All right I'm gonna do that.
- Cool.
So that's your movement.
- And I think divine sense is my action.
- Let me see how long,
does it say how long divine sense lasts?
- Till the end of your next turn.
- To the end of your next turn, cool.
- So unless, if it's still working, yeah.
- Rat, you jump up, that's going to be,
you see that The Rat King
looks at you and says,
will you not kneel to your king?
- Real rats kneel to no Rat King,
you f*cking piece of sh*t.
- Yeah, this is New York City,
we don't have kings here.
- Yeah.
- Kings, you do have, and what's more,
their thick and beefy boys
that come from beneath,
guards, seize these interlopers!
The water moves.
- Oh, the beefy boys, this is bad.
- Albino alligators.
- What?
- That's awful.
- Those aren't rats.
- Why, you are such majestic creatures,
why would would you bow to such
a lame one?
- They're huge.
- Hold on one second.
- Where's the cheese?
- Wow.
- This guy is going to...
One, two, three, four, five, six—
- You couldn't have known.
- Seven, eight.
He's gonna make it all the way to there.
This is guy is going to
make an athletics check
to jump up and try to get Ricky.
Does not, so this f*cking horrifying
fungus-covered albino alligator comes,
snap, right
near where your face is.
The Rat King says, these
alligators were left flushed
down toilets, forgotten by the
people in the realms above.
They have joined my cause
as those of the sewers rise
to take their vengeance
on the sunlit world above.
The attacks they're going to make now,
one of them takes an attack against Sofie.
- He knows I have a higher AC now, right?
- I
don't think he knows that.
Misses Sofie.
One is going to take an
attack against Kugrash
and misses against Kugrash.
That is now going to be Sofia's turn.
- Okay, I feel like we
need to get to the panel.
Am I right?
I feel bad leaving you
two with the alligators—
- Get outta here.
- Okay, then I am going to—
- Thank you, Misty.
- I would like to use all of my movement
to try to get towards the panel.
- Dope.
Are you, so you're gonna rush away
from the threatened area
of two of those alligators?
- That makes it sound like it's a—
- It's not a bad idea, but you
have abilities that allow you
to disengage and do stuff like that—
- I know, but I wanna save,
I wanna use my bonus
action to add to my speed
so I can get to the panel sooner.
- Make whatever call
you would like to make.
Let me know what you're gonna do.
- Okay, so do I need to tell you?
Well, I kinda wanted to see how far I got
and then take my dash.
- So you're not taking
a disengage, correct?
- Yeah, so two of them or
just one of them would get?
- Two of them are gonna get
their attacks opportunity on you.
- I guess I will, yeah, okay.
So I'll use, I'll use...
I'll use Step of the
Wind to take a disengage.
And then I'll move my full amount.
- Cool, so that's gonna be 40.
- That's gonna be 80.
- 80, right.
Let me see, 'cause these cost
a lot extra, so I think we'd—
- But I'm also an acrobat, so I can—
- Oh, you can make an acrobatics check
for the round if you want to
ignore some of the, like,
for each of these gaps,
you could, so there's
one, two, three gaps.
You can give me three acrobatics checks
to try to overcome that penalty.
- Okay.
First one is gonna be 26.
- Hell yeah, you make it.
- Next one is gonna be 11.
- Okay, so you're gonna
have to use movement
to get past that on, you
don't clear with acrobatics.
- Last one's gonna be 26 again.
- Cool, so we're gonna go five, 10,
- Okay.
- Cool.
You guys see Sofia just
woo, woo, woo, woo.
- f*ck, that's so cool.
- I think I'm doing like
front hand springs, too.
- To, like, flip up there.
Yeah, incredible, you make
it all the way to the top.
Also, next round, just so you know,
you're entering your next
round at a full sprint.
So whatever things you do next round,
you're doing with a full running start.
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah.
- So can I, sorry, use my readied spell?
- You can absolutely use ready spell, yes.
- And would like to cast
Crown off Madness on this guy.
- Awesome, Crown of Madness, bada boom.
- So they have to take
a wisdom saving throw,
or be charmed for the duration.
So my spell save DC is 14.
- What does Misty do
to this f*cking giant
crazy-looking alligator?
- Oh, I see we're wearing crowns today,
I say, to The Rat King, and then I
waft my hand in a fun little circle
around the alligator's head
and a iron disgusting crown.
- On the alligator.
The alligator looks up at you
with alligator tears in its
eyes and goes, me king, too?
Me king, too.
- Sure, everybody's a
goddamned king today.
- Me king, too, thank you, lady.
- Oh boy.
- Great.
Cool, so now it must use its action
before moving on each of its turns.
Make a melee attack against
a creature other than itself
that you mentally choose.
- I mentally choose, yes.
- Incredible.
You see The Rat King looks and says,
no, no, fair alligator, she
is a pretender to the throne,
remember your true allegiance.
That's going to now be Kugrash.
- All right, big pile of rat posers.
You're not the only one with minions.
And I use a bonus action to,
I would like to call
upon the spirit totem,
spirit of the juicy c*ck.
Just the juiciest f*cking
c*ck you've ever seen.
One that ate a bunch of sh*t
in somebody's apartment.
- Couldn't it just be a normal c*ck?
- No, it's gotta be big and
juicy, one of the big ones.
And it gives us, everybody within,
so I can choose a spot within 60 feet
and then it does a 30-foot aura.
So I'll do, like, right around,
I'll do like in the middle
here so it kinda gets our guys.
- That's a blessing.
- Great.
And it's gonna give
everybody temporary HP,
five plus my druid level.
So, nine.
So nine temp HP.
- Is that including me?
- That's including you,
'cause you're in there.
- Dope.
- I think so.
Yeah, would you be 30 feet if it was here?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
And then that's a bonus action
and we also get advantage
on strength checks
and strength saving throws
while we're in the little thing.
And then I'm gonna cast
mirror image of myself.
- Woo.
- So that there are two of me
and whenever people attack me,
they have to roll to see if
they hit me or the fake one.
- Cool.
- You're not the only
pile of rats, f*ck face,
then I do my dance.
- You guys see three
dancing Kugrashes in a row.
The alligators start looking
around, very confused.
Do not be confused by this druid's tricks.
He is a mystic and a bringer of ill news.
Incredible.
The water continues to rush in.
- Does he press anything
else on the panel?
- I think it's just open.
- It's just open.
- Okay.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Oh, wow.
- I'm gonna need you guys to take
Misty, Kugrash, and those alligators
off the board real quick,
if you'd be so kind.
- Oh, they're so cute.
- That's so cute.
Look at these little alli-cuties.
- You know what happens when you guys
call your enemies cute, right?
- They're so cute.
- Kugrash, you're almost fully in water.
Misty, you're like up to your,
I wanna say like, chest, yeah.
These alligators are looking hungry.
The Rat King turns to look at you.
Give me a perception
check, if you'd be so kind.
- Seven.
- Cool.
The Rat King looks at you and says,
ha, an assassin, eh?
Sent to k*ll my monarchy in its infancy.
Well, you are under arrest.
And all of these rats chatter.
I'm gonna need you to make
a wisdom saving throw,
if you'd be so kind.
- Okay.
I'm blessed, some say this is normal.
- Oh you're blessed, that's right.
- That's gonna be an 18.
- Thanks to the blessing,
thanks to the blessing
of my king, King-ston.
- Oh, okay.
- You see a spell [blows
air] hits you and you do feel
that Kingston's blessing repels his spell.
And he says, what, what trickery is this?
My magic is second to none.
That's going to be, Misty, that's you.
- So Crown of Madness takes my action,
but can I still do a movement?
- Mm-hmm.
- Great, so then I would like to...
so this guy has Crown of Madness.
- He will not an attack of opportunity.
- Can I go onto this platform up here?
I'll risk what I can, I
don't wanna be in the water.
- Okay, so that's gonna
be five, 10, 15, 20,
And that one's gonna get an
attack of opportunity on you.
- Bring it on.
Hang on a second.
As I'm passing him I go,
an albino alligator, you must be so ugly?
And take away a—
- You must be so ugly.
- f*ck, one from the roll
that you just did, g*dd*mn it.
- That should be your
thing for everything.
You must be so ugly.
- You must be so ugly.
Like you can't even see
them, you must be so ugly.
- Okay, is Crown of Madness concentration?
I believe so, yes?
- Yeah, it is.
- You take 10,
And as you get to this square right here,
this guy whips around and restrains you.
Grabs on to your leg
and is holding you in place.
- Okay.
So I have to beat a six or a 10?
- You need to beat a 10.
- Okay, great, and I
have advantage on that
because I am w*r caster.
- And you're blessed.
- I'm not blessed, but I did get a 16.
- Hell yeah, you hold onto
your spell's concentration
but you are restrained in place
and you did take 12 points of damage.
The nasty fungal sewer awfulness in there
seeps into your leg.
That's going to be—
- I don't regret insulting you.
- That is now going to be Kingston.
- All right, can I cast a command
on the alligator holding Misty?
- You absolutely can.
- So it has to make a—
- If you do that, your blessed will go.
- No, it's a—
- Oh, it's not a—
- It's not a concentration spell.
- It's a single round thing.
- It's suggesting, that's it.
- Can I cast, yeah, it has
to make a wisdom saving throw
against my spell, spell save, which is 15.
- Got a 14.
- Wow.
- What does Kingston say?
- Drop it, drop it!
Drop!
Drop!
- It backs off.
- They're so cute, we need to keep one.
- That's so cute.
- Into the water.
You are not restrained
anymore, incredible.
That's very good.
- Can I still move?
- Yeah, you still got movement.
- Great, I'd like to try
and scramble up to here.
- Cool, so that's gonna be one, two,
three, four, yeah, cool.
I'm actually gonna need you to,
because you're going
through water for that,
I'm gonna need an athletics check from you
to see if you can make it up there.
- Great, fantastic, and that's
not one of the ones we get
with that big juicy
c*ck floating around?
- That's just strength.
- Athletics?
- Oh, athletics is strength.
- Athletics, yeah.
- Athletics is a strength.
- I think we're good, 15?
- 15, you hop up there, no problem.
You're, you know, you're
older than you were
back in your hay day,
but you know what, you still got it, man.
- Hey, I'll tell you on
the worst day of my life
where my house was ruined by pigeons
and now I'm running
around in a dirty sewer.
It's nice to know I still got it.
- That's going to be Pete.
- All right,
I'm gonna try to run up...
So is that an athletics, also?
- You can use movement for it
or you can try to do an athletics
to counteract some of that.
- Oh, I think I'll try to do an athletics.
- Yeah, go for it.
- Three.
- And then do we get advantage,
'cause it is strength checks?
I was wrong, right?
'Cause if it's athletics—
- Oh, of it's athletics,
it's strength, yeah,
so you would get advantage on that
from the c*ck spirit.
- You're also blessed.
- You guys see the, yeah,
Kugrash has summoned
this insane glowing, like, brown,
glowing with like brown light being like,
it's the c*ck, I'm doing it.
You feel strong, feel strong.
- He's so juicy.
- Ew.
- Do it, do it, do it
Come on jump, get up there.
- You're also blessed.
- Yeah.
- That's true.
But you are blessed so you can,
you do roll with advantage, that's right.
- Roll and then I roll again with blessed?
- Yup.
- Two and three again, very cool.
- So you're gonna have
to use your movement,
so that's gonna be five, 10, 15, 20, 30,
and you have one more, you can be like,
or no, yeah, that's 25, 30.
- Okay.
- Cool.
- Can I see The Rat King from where I'm at
or I have that big thing in front of me?
- You can actually go to
this square and duck around.
He'd have like partial cover,
which would raise his AC a little bit,
but you might be able to
catch like a glimpse of him,
if you wanted to.
- Okay, yeah.
I wanna cast Scorching Ray on him.
- Hell yeah, go for it.
Let me see here.
Yeah, I think you've got a
pretty much straight line
to this bozo, let me see.
Just about, yeah, so we got a bonus AC.
Go ahead and make your three
attacks with Scorching Ray.
- All right.
With blessed?
- With blessed, yeah.
- Well, that's a 19
anyway, so that one hits.
- Oh, hell yeah.
Seven and four is 11.
- Plus your spell attack modifier, though.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, with another seven.
- 18, that hits.
- Ooh!
- 13, four, 17 plus seven.
- Yeah, even with his raised armor class
from having that cover.
- Thank you.
- Kingston's seven-year-old
nephew showed him how to dab.
- 6D6 at The Rat King?
- 6D6 at The Rat King.
- Thank you.
- Ooh.
- One more D6, thank you.
- Kingston can do a really quickie floss.
- No, only two sixes.
Okay, 12, 20,
no, sorry, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19.
- 19 damage.
- Of course.
- You see that The Rat King says,
here in my sewer court, oh.
And once again, your arm splits open
and you realize that you're
channeling nightmares right now.
All the people that have
ever burned to death
in their sleep in new
York City are f*cking—
- Jesus Christ.
- Fire's, like, echoing,
you could hear, like,
the Triangle Shirtwaist fire,
every nightmare history thing
of like, run,
You guys see that Pete's
eyes go completely black
and blood starts oozing out of his eyes
as your arm splits open.
The Rat King goes as like,
about a quarter of the rats
in him are incinerated.
More rats, we need more
rats up here, stat!
And I'm going to need you
to make a perception check.
- Okay.
- And a wild magic?
- And wild magic.
- Perception is a seven plus—
- Do you add your blessing?
- Seven, 14 and then this blessed,
- You see as you incinerate
a chunk of something solid
juts out off part of The Rat King.
- Oh, yeah, my girl's tangled up in there.
- Now roll for wild magic surge.
- And it's one or two now?
- Now it's one, two, and three.
- One, two, and three?
- Yeah.
- Oh no.
- f*ck.
- I'm standing much too
close to Pete for me to be—
- You don't even add blessed to that?
- Oh, yeah, does she have blessed?
- Do not add blessed to that.
- What'd you roll?
- A three.
- Why couldn't it just be one and two?
- Whenever the dice hits something
and that makes it stop,
it's never a good roll.
- What is Pete feeling in this moment?
- So scared from seeing
all of these fires.
I'm starting to think
maybe I'm channeling evil
when I do this.
- You go, you see the,
that there, a dog you remember
from your street up state
that used to scare you
'cause he barked real loud,
appears in front of you and says,
remember me, you never
have to be afraid again.
I can help you.
You want me to f*ck someone up?
You're the bad dog now, woof, woof.
Remember that time I stole
your sister's Halloween candy?
I can do that again every time.
- Okay, cool.
Get that Rat King.
- And he disappears into moats of light
that The Rat King, even your other friends
that can see dream sh*t,
don't appear to be able to see
this sh*t that you can see.
It turns into moats of sparks
and begins to swirl around The Rat King.
You don't know what that
wild magic surge just did,
but it f*cking did something.
- I open up my med bracelet
and take my anti-psychotics, my Adderall,
my testosterone really quick.
Remembering that I haven't
taken my meds today.
- Hell yeah, that's going to be Ricky.
- I'm going to cast...
f*ck, I wish I used this earlier.
I'm gonna use Sacred Weapon now,
just because it will be helpful.
And I'm going to use a bonus action
to cast, what's it called?
- Can you cast two spells in the same,
or Sacred Weapon is not a spell?
- No, it's not my, it's just an action.
But then use the Shield of Faith on,
I think I'm gonna use it on Misty.
- Great.
- Great.
- What does that give me?
- You add two AC.
- Great.
- And it's a concentration.
And then I'm going to try to move.
Can I, if I move through here
will I be attacked by everybody, yeah?
- You'll get one attack of opportunity
from his dude right here.
- All right, I'll go to here and just
try to, like, be in the center of...
- One, two, cool, you go here.
That guy's gonna get an attack on you.
Misses.
Cool, that's going to be the alligators.
- So I'd like to turn to the
guy who has Crown of Madness
and say, you see this guy just bit me,
what are you gonna do about it?
- He says, as king
alligator I will bite him.
- Mm, yes, good idea.
- He rushes over here to bite this dude.
Let's see how that goes.
- Kugrash, you're just, like, drowning.
- Hop on his back.
- You're just a wet rat bobbing.
- Its fur is probably matted together.
- He misses.
This guy swims over here for Kugrash.
This guy's gonna come over here for Ricky.
- Luckily this isn't—
- Coming against Kugrash.
- Do I get an attack of opportunity
on the guy who ran by me to get Ricky?
I mean, to get to Kugrash?
- Where was he, oh, yes, you would get
an attack of opportunity.
- Cool.
Plus blessed, right?
- Yeah.
- That was 11 plus two, I
knocked it over to a 20.
That was 20.
- 20 hits, which means
that you actually arrest
his movement, he doesn't come for Kugrash.
- Yeah!
- Yes.
- Thanks, man.
- And I did, ooh, that's 15.
- You see that one alligator
looks at you and goes,
and suddenly, wonk, it's
whole head disappears
under the water with glowing ax blade
in the meat of its shoulder
- Stop it.
- Hey, he's a good kid, a good fireman.
- I have a question about concentration.
So I have concentration on this guy,
but because I have w*r caster
I have attack of
opportunity spell casting?
- Yes.
- Can I, 'cause that's
not an action, right,
it's just a reaction?
- It's a reaction, it doesn't
mess with your concentration.
- So, can I then cast—
- No one's triggered an
attack of opportunity from you
'cause no one's left your threatened area.
- Oh they didn't leave
the threatened area,
they just came into the threatened area?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Okay, great, great.
- So one's gonna go for Misty, missed.
One is gonna go for Ricky.
Miss, as well.
Just.
But I believe Crown of
Madness is every round,
he gets another wisdom
saving throw, right?
- He does, he gets a wisdom
saving throw every turn.
- Cool.
Fails again, these guys are
not very wise, as it turns out.
- Yeah, who'd have thunk?
- Who'd have thunk?
- Who'd have thunk?
- Great, that's going to be Sofia.
- Okay.
I sip the last drop of champagne
from my broken champagne flute.
- Oh, it's shattered.
- This is so wrong.
- Your lips are bleeding.
Are you okay?
- And then I want to, how far can I jump?
- With a running start,
you go even farther if
you do Step of the Wind.
- Well, yeah, so I
wanna use my whole turn,
like I wanna use every
action I possibly can
to try to get to that panel.
- Hell yeah, what's your—
- Which I have Step of the
Wind if I need to use it.
- What is your strength score?
- My strength is only one,
but I usually use acrobatics.
- Your total.
- Oh my total strength is 13,
but I usually use acrobatics first off.
- Gotcha.
So this is gonna be, this
is like such a long leap,
but you're doing Step of the Wind.
Bup-bup-bup, oh, Jesus Christ.
Okay, also how tall are you?
- How tall am I?
I mean, what I wanna say right
now, is like seven-foot-five,
but probably I'm probably
more like, five, 5'6, 5'10.
- Good of you for being honest.
- 5'5, 5'6.
- Yeah, we don't really
talk about it, she's 7'8.
- Your long jump,
you automatically, if
you do Step of the Wind,
is automatically 25 feet,
which is insanely far
but I'll, if you burn the ki point
I will let you roll an athletics check—
- Athletics or acrobatics?
- f*ck, we'll go acrobatics.
- Okay, yeah.
- But I'll say that every
five above 10 that you get
is another five feet on the jump.
So above 10, you're
adding whatever you rolled
to the feet jumped.
- So what do I need to do to get it?
So what do I need to—
- So that's five, 10, 15,
You'd only need to roll,
you would need to roll a 25.
- A 25 on my acrobatics?
- On acrobatics.
- What do you have on acrobatics?
- A six.
- Plus nine.
- But even if you fail, you
just fall in the water, right?
- Yeah.
Can I add, do I get to add this guy to it?
- I'll let you add blessed to it.
- Okay, cool, I'ma go for it.
- f*ck yeah.
- So you're trying to beat,
trying to beat a 25 on an
acrobatics check right now,
and you're burning the ki
point for Step of the Wind.
- Last time you flipped a
thing, now you're gonna jump.
- Oh, my God,
it's gonna be so sick.
- Sofie remember, it is what
it is, whatever that means.
- Nine and two is 11.
- 11, so I got 22.
- 22, so close.
- Oh, it's so close.
- Dang it.
- Go ahead and make a
dexterity saving throw for me.
- Okay.
That's gonna be 20.
- Cool, oh, do you have slow fall?
- Slow fall, mm-hmm.
- So you take, you go [bows
air] leap, it is what it is.
The Rat King goes, huh, no!
And throws a gust of
force from all the rats
screaming at the same
time, buffets you back,
and you scrape, holding a
hand and foot against the wall
to land in the water down here, swimming.
- Wow, okay.
- Am I gonna be
able to get up that wall?
- That's gonna be a pretty
f*cking intense climb check.
- I should've just got, I,
- I think you're gonna be okay.
- I should've, but I
should've gone over there.
- So that's your movement,
you used a bonus action
and yeah, you actually,
I think you actually
still have an action left if you want it.
Right, is movement bonus
action for Step of the Wind?
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
Can I climb?
- Yeah, you can try to
move, you can try to climb—
- Or can I, if I have another action,
can I just use it to move
over and jump up here?
- Yeah, for sure, so
it's difficult terrain
'cause you're swimming, so it's—
- Well, I have acrobat
so I get to potentially
get less difficult.
- Make a DC, if you
make a DC 20 acrobatics,
we'll say it's not difficult terrain.
- Okay, DC 20 acrobatics.
I did yeah, 23.
- Cool, so that's gonna be
five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35,
yeah, you can get up to this ledge here.
- Okay, I'll take that, that'll be enough.
- Dope, awesome.
- Sorry guys, I'm trying
to get that panel.
- That was still the
craziest thing I've ever seen
- It was very cool, very cool.
- Very, very cool.
- I think the water's gonna keep rising.
- I know, that's why I
wanted to get that panel.
- Kugrash, that's you.
- That's gonna stop it from rising.
- All right, I'm gonna climb
up on this nice alligator
and get, I guess, as
far as I can over here.
- You can climb on me if you want.
- Five, 10, 15.
- Yeah, can I climb up on
my friend Ricky's back?
- Yeah, go for it.
- Is that okay, is it okay with you?
- Of course, get on my back.
- I hop onto Ricky's back.
- Great.
- Wow, you got big lats, kid.
- No days off, man.
- And then I wanna use a bonus
action to move the sphere,
'cause it was back here,
so it's not gonna affect
some people in a little
bit as people move.
So I can move it up to 60
feet, so maybe I'll move it,
where do you guys think I
should move it if it's 30 feet?
Maybe just like in the middle?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I guess I'll do it like right around
where Kingston is right now.
- Mm-hmm.
- You telling me there's gonna
be a big-a*s juicy c*ck?
- There's a big-a*s juicy c*ck.
- Kingston, don't worry, I got you, buddy.
- I hate this.
- Juicy c*ck, come down.
- Kugrash is ruining your life.
- Rats, c*ck and
pigeons all in one day.
- I hate this so much.
And a clean life.
- And then, so I'm there with Ricky.
And then I still have an action,
so I guess I'll create a flaming sphere.
- Awesome, very cool.
- Sweet, so I'll create a flaming sphere.
So, you know what,
I'll just start it right on this guy.
- Hell yeah, and he has to roll a save?
- I think he doesn't take
anything unless he gets hit by it
or unless he ends his turn in it.
It says any creature that
ends its turn within five feet
of the sphere must make
a dexterity saving throw
or takes 2d6 damage.
As a bonus action, I can
move it to ram people
and then they have to do it.
So I think it's like appearing above him,
but doesn't hurt him yet.
- Gotcha.
- It hurts him on his turn.
Kugrash is playing the long game.
- Water continues to rise.
The rats go, sire the cheese.
It's phantasmal to touch, I can't get it.
Get this cheese at once.
And that's going to be The Rat King,
looks at you again.
- Okay, bring it on.
- And says, freeze, you
stand before royalty.
And you wisdom save.
- That's gonna be a 11.
- I'm afraid—
- A robust 11.
- I'm afraid that Sofia is frozen in place
as chills go up your
spine, through your blood.
- You're already in water.
- Yeah, you're standing
about knee-deep in water
and feeling it rise around you.
Misty, that's gonna be you.
- Get out here.
- I mean, yeah, I'm gonna
get up as high as I can
movement wise.
- Okay.
- And then, I still have Crown of Madness,
so that's what that is,
and then I'm gonna—
- Cool, those two are gonna get
attacks of opportunity on you.
- f*cking bring it on.
- One, two, or one, two, three, four.
- This guy was attacking this guy, right?
- Yeah, this guy.
- Oh, he was, yeah.
- Wasn't one of
them being attacked?
- Yeah, if you're here, he
was there, if you're here,
so you can go, basically,
one, two, three, is 15,
to the next thing.
- Great, and we have advantage
on that because of the—
- You do.
- Yup, the juicy c*ck.
Just call to the
c*ck, he'll help you.
- The juicy c*ck oozes.
- He's a good dude.
- I got a 15.
- Oh, 15, 15 gets you up.
- Great.
- Cool, they're gonna
get some attacks on you.
- You got that plus two AC this time.
- Oh, yes, so my AC is 16 currently.
- Before you get up there—
- Ah, f*ck.
- This one here restrains you.
- g*dd*mn!
- Restrains you and is
gonna go ahead and deal
- Ooh.
- f*ck.
- To Misty.
- Did you crit?
- And he critted, yeah.
And you are once again restrained.
- Well, I'm real sick, guys.
I'm on...
I have five, five hit points.
- I'm sorry, I can't heal you,
I learned I'm not a healer.
- I definitely wasn't talking
to you, but thank you.
- That's your move, so then your movement,
you are now restrained.
- Okay.
- But you can take actions.
Oh, and you need a
check for concentration.
- Well.
That's, what's—
- What's your concentration?
- Concentration is 14.
Beats it, yeah, right?
'Cause I have to just beat a 10.
- Yeah, you beat it.
- As my bonus action I'm
gonna look over to Sofia
and be like, Sofia, that eye
shadow is a fabulous color.
- Oh my God, thank you so much,
it's from a drugstore,
if you can believe it.
- No, I can't.
- Yeah.
- It's great.
- I know.
- We should go shopping.
- Oh my God, yes, I mean,
again I get it from drugstores.
We could go shopping there.
- Kingston, that's you.
- So you have bardic inspiration.
- All right, can I climb
up to the next level?
- You sure can.
One, you can either use movement
or do an athletics check.
- We get advantage.
- We have advantage.
- Yeah, I'll do an athletics check then.
My old a*s running around, a nat 20.
- f*ck yeah.
- And we see the juicy
c*ck flies him off.
- No, I want nothing to do
with this juicy c*ck.
- So I'm gonna say on a nat 20,
we're not even gonna worry about vertical.
You go one, two, three, four, five, six.
You guys see, as Misty gets bitten,
you look around, look
up and see The Rat King
commanding these alligators
and you guys begin to,
you guys see that Kingston's
coat flairs out behind him.
The subway token he wears
around his neck begins to glow,
and you hear a bunch of voices
in so many different languages going,
come on, come on, come on,
Kingston, come on, you got this.
Get up there, come on, come on, come on.
And you tear up the steps.
- I'm really proud watching
him, I'm like, f*ck yeah.
- And that's, yeah, what do
you do when you get up there?
- Can I turn around, as cool as that was,
can I turn around and cast
a second level command
to try and command these
two albino alligators?
- Oh, you're gonna try to
hit two of them at once?
- Yeah, I'll use it, it casts
as a second level spell.
- Hell yeah, you can go for it.
- So both of them have to make
wisdom saving throws against 15.
- I'll say that blue one is
the one not holding Misty.
Both of them, what is your
command, what's Kingston say?
- Do I have to give the same
command to both of them?
- Yes.
- Okay.
If I...
Okay, if I ask it, like, what
are the chances that if I,
I don't know if I'm allowed to ask this.
If I ask them to flee,
what are the chances they
take Misty with them?
- You're not, you are not sure.
- Okay.
- There's a chance that if flee,
if this one wanted to, it
would just drag Misty away.
- Disengage.
- All right, do that, I
like that so I'm gonna,
yeah, can I be like, stop, just go, go.
- Surrender.
- Cool.
Yeah, so you yell, stop,
and you see that they,
do you think Kingston more wants them
to let go of Misty or wants them to move?
- More to let go of Misty.
- You see that both, that
one of them lets go of Misty
and they both slink back into the water.
- Ooh.
- Like further back out of that spot,
or they're still in those?
- They're still in those
spots, they have not left,
but they have let go of Misty.
And it looks like that
they are fully stopping.
So on their turn, the
way the command works
is on their turn they're
going to do that action.
- Great.
- That's going, hell yeah, that's huge.
Pete, that's gonna be you.
- Okay, I am going to try to run and jump.
I'm going to try to use my
action and like a dash action
to get as close forward as I can.
- Okay, go ahead and give
me an athletics check.
- Cool.
Advantage, right, for strength?
Nat 20!
- Yeah.
- Ooh.
- Great.
- Holy sh*t.
- f*ck yes, thank you, c*ck.
- Well, somebody likes the c*ck.
- One, two, three, four, five, six.
And you're just leaping as far as you can?
That's a f*cking nat 20.
Go ahead and give me wild
magic surge real quick.
- Oh, great.
What is it up to, four?
- Now, just one, it resets.
- Three.
- Three, okay, cool.
So yeah, I'm gonna say on a nat 20
that you insanely, you see
that your boots split open
and flame shoots out of
them like rocket boots.
You land and reach on to the
edge of the panel right here.
So you don't land all the way on it
but you, huh, bam, and land there.
The Rat King goes, huh, dirty scoundrel.
- And I don't get any like,
duck, movement or anything left?
I probably used everything.
- You used your full action, movement,
everything on that insane
athletics check to get over there.
- Get a tetanus shot when we're done.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Rad, that's going to be, bu-bu-bum,
that's now, insane—
- Yeah, that was wild.
- You like, you're jets are like going,
you can't like get your
legs together in unison,
so you kind of like wave
your hands in the air
and rocket over and grab on to the edge.
Ricky, that's gonna be you.
- Okay, I, so these, it seems
like these two have stopped.
- Mm-Hmm.
That one's still
controlled by Misty, yeah.
- You're on my back, right?
- Yeah.
- I want to grab them and
go as far forward as I can.
Can I grab both of them and move?
- That's gonna be an
intense athletics check to,
I mean, Misty's very small.
Misty's like 4'10.
- Yeah.
- Give me, also, I'll call
it a DC 20 athletics check
to try and scoop them both up.
- And I have advantage on
athletics checks right now.
And I'm blessed and I
have bardic inspiration.
- Hell yeah, dude.
Hell yes.
- All right.
- Don't use the bardic
inspiration unless you have to.
- Okay, I'm with that.
- Good call.
- That's already beat it.
- f*ck yeah.
- So that's like 21—
- You fired it, f*cking
New York's bravest,
over one shoulder you got Kugrash.
You pick Misty up and you can go.
This guy's gonna get an
attack of opportunity on you
as you leave the space.
Hits.
- Okay.
Do I do, can I do anything?
- You're carrying them both, no sweat.
But this guy hits you
for 17 points of damage.
- sh*t.
- Okay.
- And you're also
restrained, you cannot move.
- Okay.
- Oh f*ck.
- Okay, and so I'm still carrying them?
- You're carrying them,
you haven't used an action,
but in your attempt to move away,
this guy didn't get an
attack on anyone else
since the alligators last went, did he?
- No 'cause he got sentinel.
- He got sentinel, right.
- All right, I will—
- Can you throw them?
- Yeah you're, he's fully got you,
not only are you restrained.
So you get thrown off your balance,
one of your legs is in his mouth.
- Gotcha.
Would it be crazy to throw them onto this?
- Hell yes.
- Yeah.
- Make another athletics check for me.
- Just tossing a pixie and a rat.
- I'm gonna say another DC 20.
- Okay.
Okay, that's...
So that's 10, 16, plus—
- Bardic.
- Bardic inspiration.
- f*ck.
- These two guys get over here.
- All right.
- Okay.
- That's something.
- And that's my turn, right?
- That's your turn, yeah.
That's going to be the alligators.
This guy's gonna come for Ricky again.
Now rolling with advantage
'cause he's already got you in his jaws.
- Oh, really, 49.
I'm at 32.
- Okay, okay.
It's more than I start with.
- Hang on, before you
say anything out loud.
I'm gonna look at the alligator
that just attacked Ricky
and say, you're ugly,
too, you're all ugly.
and I take away five points
from whatever roll you just did.
- You just saved Ricky's life.
- Oh!
- You see that this thing has your leg
and it goes to wrench you
into the water, down deep.
And Misty turns around.
As you whip around, you guys
see that a shade of poison
moves around the edge of
Misty's lips and tongue
and a dart of spectral fae energy
hits the alligator on the side of the head
and it goes, no, me beautiful.
- You'll never make it in this
city, you'll never make it.
- You see it looks over to the wall
where there's a small poster
of an alligator in a Broadway musical.
He goes.
Ricky, you are not hit
for any extra damage.
- It would have been over 30?
- It would have, yeah,
it would have been a—
- Dragged him under?
- It would've dragged him under, yeah.
Or it would have been so bad—
- Am I hit for anything?
- You're not hit for any damage.
These two—
- f*ck yeah.
- These two alligators each
take a little step back,
scared of Kingston.
What does the Crown of
Madness alligator do?
- I mean, he's gonna continue to,
it has to be a melee attack
within somebody within range
of him, so he's gonna continue to—
- He can't move, okay.
- He can move, but like, I
don't, that movement is not gonna
be enough to get The Rat King.
- Or what about the one eating me?
- Oh, yeah, oh, yeah,
can he attack the one
that continues to eat Ricky?
- Yeah, he can
swim over here and do that.
- Great, yeah, so I'll have him do that.
- He actually rushes over, hits that dude,
and grabs that guy and
pulls him under the water.
- Hell yeah.
- We're really running these alligators.
- Yeah.
- Am I still grabbed by it?
- It, well now, that's interesting,
'cause you're restrained by an alligator
who is also restrained.
So, yes, you are still in
the jaws of that alligator,
but that alligator is in the
jaws of another alligator.
You're like on your butt with your legs
going into the water, like...
The situation is bad.
- Terrifying.
- And the water's still rising.
- Ah!
- That's gonna be Sofia.
- Okay, so I'm frozen.
What does that mean?
- It means at the end of your,
the water is rising around you.
I'm gonna need you to make
another wisdom saving throw.
- Another wisdom saving throw.
- You have bardic inspiration.
- Yeah, I know.
- And you are blessed.
- Okay.
Oh my f*cking God.
- What was it?
- All threes.
- All threes, threes across the board.
- Everything was a three.
- 12?
- I got a 12.
- You got a 12?
- Mm-hmm.
- That's exactly the DC.
- Wow.
- Thanks.
- So you feel water rising.
You look, see Ricky surrounded by gators
as the water's rising
up above his platform.
It gets to here and you hear
a voice in your head say, hey.
- Hey.
- Whatcha gonna do?
What are you going to do?
The water gets here and
you snap out of the spell.
- I'm gonna f*ck up that panel.
- Hell yeah.
- And then do I get actions still?
- No, that's the end of your turn.
So it's your full action
to get out of the spell.
- Gotcha, okay.
- So that's gonna be Kugrash.
- Cool, I actually realize,
so is this guy, like,
fully under the water
or does he have Ricky
and he's kinda like—
- His back half is being dragged under
by the other alligator.
- Got it, but his mouth is still up.
He at the end of his turn,
has to do a dex saving throw
or take 2d6 fire damage
from the flaming sphere.
- Oh, 'cause he's restrained
'cause the flaming sphere is on him.
So he's gotta make a dex saving throw.
- And if he's restrained—
- He fails.
- Dope, so he takes six
damage on that turn.
And then, I, okay, so then—
- I'm gonna, sorry, roll of wisdom save
for the Crown of Madness one, real quick.
- Oh, yes, please.
- Fails again.
- Great.
- Okay, then I'm going to—
- You look great in that crown.
Keep wearing it.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Then I'm gonna hop up here
- So that's gonna
be five, 10, 15, cool.
- Cool.
Then, this is a little bit of
a funky use of this cantrip,
but thorn whip allows you to, if you hit,
to pull something 10 feet closer to you.
I'm trying to use to
essentially get, like,
around its mouth to open
it up so Ricky can get
his foot out, like, to pull him.
- Oh, you want to use it to pull his,
to move his jaw—
- To, like, free him.
Free him from his restraint.
- And what's that, it's
normally an attack roll.
Is there any opposed element?
- It's a spell attack roll.
- Spell attack, I'm gonna
have to do a spell attack
to hit and to do this alternate use.
It's gonna be his strength
versus your wisdom
- Okay.
- Cool.
Go ahead and roll to hit first of all.
- Okay.
So much.
Duh-duh-duh, 25.
- Hell yeah, you definitely hit.
You've gotta beat a
- Okay.
- With a wisdom check.
- Come on, plus five.
- Do you have blessed or no?
- No, he's not blessed.
- I got a g*dd*mn eight.
- But you still do the damage for—
- I do, I do, just 1d6, though.
Three damage.
- Cool.
- This alligator is looking f*cked up.
You get a whip around its mouth
and it's also being pulled
by this other alligator,
but it's not letting go of Ricky's leg.
- So we've not k*lled
a single goddamed thing
in this fight yet.
- No.
I'm look, I—
- Ah!
- sh*t, g*dd*mn it.
Constantly under water.
- Jesus Christ.
The Rat King goes, very well,
you wish to test the metal
of the rodent monarch, ha.
And a wave of rats descends on you.
And as it goes to you,
you see that
this weird sense of, like,
a purring cat energy surrounds you.
And the rats all
squeak off, doesn't hit you.
But you do see, as the rats part,
you see the face of the
Angel of Bethesda Fountain
within the rats for a second.
- Em, Emma?
- Em.
- Em.
- That's going to now be, so
The Rat King attacks, misses.
That's going to be Misty.
- Well, I'm gonna get up as high as I can.
And I'm actually gonna
break my Crown of Madness
so that I can cast a second
level cure wounds on myself.
- Okay.
- Ricky.
- One, two, three.
So that's 15 movement right there.
You gonna make an athletics check?
- Yeah, I'll do an athletics check.
- Cool.
- Two 17s, yeah.
- Hell yeah.
You, whoop, hop up here on this tall one.
Next to your fae [blows
air] lightness of foot,
you are standing there next to Kingston
on top of that tall platform.
- Great.
- You've cured wounds, cool.
- Second, sorry, I'll just...
Great, I'll make it.
- So you break the Crown of Madness,
that's now going to be, bup-bup-bup.
Kingston, that's you.
- Ricky, what are you at?
- 32.
- But he has two on him.
- It's, they're getting dragged.
- Yeah, they have to—
- I'll just drown.
- Are you still restrained?
- Yeah.
- Can I see this one?
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
I'd like to command,
again, let's just keep
the command train going.
- You're bossy today.
- Oh, yeah.
I'm telling a lot of
alligators what to do today.
- What do you say to this alligator?
- Let it go, let go!
- Slinks back into the water.
Ricky, you are, your
head comes out of water.
- Ah.
- That's gonna be Pete.
- Okay.
- Unless, Kingston, are
you doing anything else?
- Get him, Pete.
- Okay, I am going to reach in past
the squirming disgusting rats and grab Em.
If I use shocking grasp
to electrocute her metal,
am I hurting her at all or
am I just burning the rats
that are formed on the
outside of the metal?
- I will allow you to make a...
Just roll a charisma check to
see if you can use that spell
in that way and feel free
to add blessed to it.
- Cool.
- You start thinking, like,
what are the limitation of my magic.
I f*cking, I'm what, I'm the vox phantasm.
I've, what is this f*cking
and then you here a voice saying,
dreams are anything you make them.
- Cool, yeah, I reach in and
I just, like, electrocute Em
trying to hurt this rat thing.
Maybe I, like, hoist myself in first.
- You can actually, if you
wanna grab and try to use
the statue to hoist yourself in—
- Cool, yeah, yeah.
- Let's do this, roll
me an athletics check,
we'll say that to beat a 10
means that you hoist yourself up.
To beat a 15, means
you're, like, yanking the,
yanking the statue, able
to yank the statue out,
but you'll damage, either
way, through shocking grasp.
- Okay, cool.
Come on.
Ah, six.
- Okay, but you roll blessed with that?
- I mean, yeah.
Two, eight.
- Eight, cool, you grab onto the statue,
you're still hanging
off of it over the side.
Go ahead and roll your damage for—
- So D8, I think?
- Shocking grasp, yes.
- All right.
One, no!
f*ck.
- Wait a minute.
I forgot, your wild magic surge—
- That dog?
- Yeah, my dog.
- Your dog, roll that
athletics check one more time.
- Okay.
I'm gonna use the good dice.
- 15.
- Oh, with a blessed, yeah.
- With a blessed.
- One, 16.
- 16.
You see that you don't do that much damage
with shocking grasp but
the rats
let go just enough and
you plunge into the water
with a beautiful angel.
- Yes.
- You are under the angel
statue, it is so heavy.
- f*ck.
- And f*cking, woo.
You go deep in the water with the angel.
- What, no, not yes.
- Oh, no.
- You're under water, my good
man, with the angel statue.
But you see, The Rat King
goes, my bride, my bride-to-be,
and screams in horror.
You have successfully wrested
the angel out of The Rat King.
That's going to be, oh, that's so cool.
And you see that your
dog begins to disappear.
Got the rat, kid.
But one day I'll k*ll ya, one
day I'll k*ll ya for sure.
- What?
- Bad dog.
- Do your wild magic surge
first, shocking grasp.
- Oh yeah, roll a wild magic
surge for shocking grasp.
- It's up to what?
Now it's back to two?
- Back to two.
- Six, nine.
- Cool.
- What a world.
- That's going to be—
- What a world?
- What a world.
That's going to be Ricky.
- Okay, I'm all free now?
- All free.
- Ricky's kind of,
this is maybe, Ricky's gonna
go as far forward as possible.
- And I believe you're
still, no you got commanded,
now you're allowed to go, yeah,
you're not restrained anymore, mm-hmm.
- So to here.
- Cool.
- And then—
- Give me, just for, because that's a lot
of difficult terrain you're going through,
just give me the athletics to
make sure that you can do it.
- He can do advantage.
- Yeah.
- That was—
- You're rolling advantage.
- What do I need?
- 15.
- Oh, that was a seven, yeah.
Yes, I eventually got it.
- Cool, dope.
You hop up there.
- And then I'm gonna look at The Rat King
and command while pointing at
the panel, and say, reverse.
- Awesome.
This is for sure going
to be a box of doom roll.
Let's get that box of doom.
The Rat King is gonna save
against a suggestion cast from—
- Command.
- Yeah, oh sorry, a command
from the questing blade
of our paladin, Ricky Matsui.
The DC's 13.
The Rat King gets a plus two.
On an 11 or higher,
this The Rat King saves.
On a 10 or lower, it fails.
Six!
- Oh!
- f*ck yeah.
- Gleaming light of civic responsibility
echoes from your ax, what does
Ricky say to The Rat King?
- Reverse.
- So he says, my
God, those rippling abs.
Those silky pectorals.
We must reverse the water's flow.
And begins to turn towards the panel.
That is going to be the alligators.
- Kugrash.
- Kug.
- No Crown of Madness.
No—
- He's been commanded?
- I commanded him to let go.
- To let go, which he did.
These two guys are back in it.
- I still got mirror image up.
- Oh yeah.
- Okay.
- I am cursed—
- So that just,
is that just an even,
what they got, that's 33%?
- So I roll and if I get,
if I have three guys,
then if I get six or higher,
then they attack that dude.
- That dude, okay.
- Got a 14, so—
- So one of them bites—
- One of them gets attacked.
And they have an AC of
so they have 14, if they
get hit, then they're gone.
- First one of your
mirror images vanishes.
- Cool, poof, Naruto style.
- Yeah.
- Substitution jutsu.
Then I roll again, eight or
higher, they hit the second one.
- Okay, eight higher, the second one.
- 17.
- Nice.
- f*ck yeah.
- Want to see if gets—
- Cursed no more.
- And their AC is 14, right?
- Yeah.
- Misses.
- Yes.
- Cool.
- Roll again.
- Doing my dance twist.
Two of us.
- Let's see.
Successfully hits it.
He's gone.
- He's gone.
- Last one's just making an
attack against the real Kugrash.
- Still doing the dance by myself.
I feel like I need to continue with this.
- Everybody do the Kugrash.
- And misses you.
Hell yeah.
- You guys look out and see
this little f*cking rat
shaman on this little thing.
All four alligators come out
and f*cking...
Oh, yeah, you're doing some, like,
real 80s moon dance kinda stuff,
real thriller, incredible.
- He's nasty, but he's good.
- Yeah, I attach to a guy, do a wave,
and he pops as he gets bent.
- That's amazing, Sofia,
it's gonna be you.
- Okay, so The Rat King's
gonna reverse the panel,
but he hasn't pressed it yet, or anything?
- Hasn't pressed it yet, no.
- But I don't wanna attack
him, 'cause then that would,
if I attack him, that's gonna stop him
from pressing the panel, right?
- This guy takes 2d6.
Fire sphere.
- That's right, yup.
- Five.
- Cool.
That one's looking extremely f*cked up.
Yeah, what's Sofia gonna do?
- I don't know, I feel,
I think that I don't want him
to stop doing the panel thing,
but I don't really have
anything else to do.
- You can go for the panel, too.
- No but I, he'll know how
to it better than I can.
I guess I'll just swim down
and try to drag Pete and the angel up.
I don't really have good strength, though.
I don't really know what to do here.
- You gotta make the call.
You could also get to that
platform and ready an action.
- Okay, that's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna try and hop up onto that thing
and then leap across.
- So you're gonna
get up here, just move it—
- I wanna leap across and ready an action
for as soon as he presses
reverse, then I attack him.
- Let me just get my little
jump calculator out here.
- Jump calculator, by Texas Instruments.
- You know, you're not always
gonna have a jump calculator
in your pocket.
- Give me an acrobatics check.
- You gotta figure out
how to do it on your own.
- That's what they told me in high school.
- Okay, that's gonna be a 22.
- Nice.
Leap.
And you'd have to spend your
movement and your action,
getting up out of the
water, leaping across.
'Cause let me see.
We have movement of 40 right?
- Yeah movement of 40.
- So you're swimming.
So you go, five, 10, 15, and—
- I also have, if I have a DC 15,
things aren't difficult terrain for me.
- Oh, that's right, yes, yes, yes.
So that's actually, one, two.
Yeah, you fully, make it across
and you can ready your action.
- Okay, so I'm gonna attack him
as soon as he presses the button.
- Cool, and readying your
action means you won't get
your bonus action, just as an FYI.
- Okay, well, that's my fate.
- Such is life.
- Such is life, it is what
it is, is what I've learned.
- That's going to be,
yeah, Pete, you go all
the rest of the way down,
and this angel has pinned
you to the bottom underneath
all the water.
I'm gonna need you to, I know
it's not your turn right now,
but make a constitution
saving throw for me.
- Okay.
Five.
- You can try to add blessed
to that, if you want.
You gotta beat a 10.
- Eight.
- Wait you have plus two, plus two.
- Oh cool, 10.
- Oh!
- 10, cool.
So you do not begin to drown.
It pins you, and you move your
stomach at the last second.
But you are, like, trapped
under this giant angel statue
in this, like, sh*t, piss,
horrible sewer water.
That's going to be
Kugrash, that's you, baby.
- All right, later gators.
Missy step, outta here.
I'm gonna go 30 feet, as
close as I can get to,
where, I guess, I heard
or saw Pete fall off.
And then I would like to...
- So that's 30 feet.
- Okay, and then I would like
to, that's a bonus action,
so I'd like to wild shape
into a reef shark in the air.
- Sick.
- Yeah.
- Oh my God.
- Hell yeah.
- This is salt water?
- That is a disgusting shark.
- Yeah, yeah, of course.
- It's a sewer shark.
And then I want to, they have speed of 40.
So since I've already used an action,
so it's just the one movement.
So just 40 feet to try to get down to—
- Awesome, you get down
all the way to Pete.
You, like, get your jaws
on the side of the—
- I'm like,
- And I'm winking, I'm trying
to give a Kugrash wink.
You know, I do my dance.
- Oh no.
- But you don't f*cking know,
you just saw a shark show up.
- That famous shark wink.
- Just a real dead shark eye.
- A shark that winks at you—
- You guys see the water rises
till this is the least point here.
The gators start swimming towards you.
And The Rat King goes, quickly.
And as the gators are about to pounce,
the water level recedes.
And drops them back down.
Yeah, so the water went up
and comes back down to this level.
- Okay, and Sofia Bikes comes in
and f*cking takes a hit at this dude.
- Go for it.
- Plus what?
- Well, 20's gonna hit, right?
- 20 definitely hits, go
ahead and roll damage.
- All right.
- These rats are wearing full plate and,
like, plus-one shields.
- It's gonna be 10.
- Jesus.
You see, The Rat King says,
very well to reverse
for that wonderful man.
Wham, and you're just, shin, knee, foot,
you get your whole left leg
right in the meat of this
Rat King, and you can—
- I've practiced a little Muay Thai.
I got thick shins.
- And you can feel the tails split,
its one tail start to split a little bit
under you kicking it, and
he goes, ah, the royal tail!
And that's going to—
- I'm freeing all you little b*tches.
- f*ck, don't become his new bride.
- Oh, I don't know, I've
been rejected by pigeons.
If someone showed me a little bit of love,
I might go for it.
- It's gonna be Misty.
- He's, The Rat King is less
than 60 feet away from me, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Great.
So I would like to cast
Phantasmal Force on him.
He has to do an intelligence saving throw.
And then on a failed save,
I create a phantasmal object, creature,
or other visible phenomenon.
- Mm-hmm.
- So let me know if he succeeds.
- He does not succeed.
- Great, so I would like to conjure
a real scary-looking rat catcher.
And a creature that I create,
they do 1d6 psychic damage to the target
if it's in the phantom's area.
- Go ahead an roll 1d6
- Great.
Six.
- f*ck yeah.
- Nice.
- f*ck yeah.
- Yeah.
- You see that you hit it
and you see across from you,
a shining beautiful man
in a rat, in clearly a
rat catcher's costume
with perfect white teeth and a big pole,
with, like, a rat-catching
thing on the end of it.
- Is that Ricky?
- He goes,
And slams, blood goes everywhere.
- Darling, you're selling
it, I believe every word.
- I actually went and got
coffee with a cousin of mine
who's a real rat catcher and
he told me all about the part.
- Yes, yes, do that work.
- Do that work.
- Acting is work.
Acting is work.
- That's going to be Kingston.
- Great, I'm gonna cast
Guiding Bolt on The Rat King.
- Hell yeah, what does that do?
- I make a ranged spell
attack and if it hits, I cast,
I make 46 radiant damage and
the next attack roll made
against the target has advantage.
- Wow.
- Oh, awesome.
- Great, let's see how this goes.
Oh, 19.
- 19 hits.
- Great.
- Ooh.
Six, six, one
- It's gonna happen.
- One.
- What a ride.
- An exactly average roll.
How much damage is that?
- Oh so, wow, 14—
- f*cking average, dude.
- Average as hell.
So 14 damage and then the next attack roll
made against him has advantage.
- Ooh!
- Jesus, hell yeah.
- He can't be looking good.
We got him with Scorching Ray earlier.
You got all that in.
- Get ready.
- Cool, Pete, that's you.
So you're partially drowning,
you're under this angel.
You see that the shark doesn't
appear to be attacking you,
but you're just under water.
What does Pete do?
- So much winking.
- And you're also,
you're like face-to-face
with angel statue right now, by the way.
- God, f*ck.
- It's face is like, it's a beautiful,
it's like, crazy, you're
like trapped under this thing
because it's, like, a beautiful statue.
Although you see that she is now frozen
in the pose of someone, like, weeping.
- Okay, I feel like this
has just been, like,
so shocking and scary.
I'm gonna, in like a haze,
even though I should,
like, get out and save myself,
cast Detect Thoughts on her.
- You cast Detect Thoughts.
In this insane moment
of danger for yourself,
you reach into this place of empathy
and you're suddenly for a moment
floating in the dream realm again.
And you see a little smiling orphan child
with gray skin and black eyes
look up at you and smile.
And as creepy as this f*cking
kid is, and it's a creepy kid,
it just looks so serene and pleased.
And you see it says,
everyone that ever came here had a dream.
And it looks, and you see the
Bethesda Fountain being built.
And the angel being placed
there for the first time.
And you see it says,
the Angel of the Waters,
the fountain of purification and healing,
where all things can be born
anew, that's what dreams are.
They're the one thing
that connects us all.
I'm glad that you wanted
to know her dreams.
And you breathe in some water
and suddenly are blinded by
two shining white lights.
And just as soon as the
water entered your lungs,
it exits,
as a metal hand touches
your shoulder and chest.
And you see that the two
blinding white lights
are the eyes of the angel glowing white.
And you see even under the water,
you are detecting her thoughts
and thus, can hear her.
And she say, I'm the angel
of the frigging water, kid,
I would never let this sh*t hurt you.
Let's get outta here.
- Ooh!
Yeah Em.
- Cool.
- And begins to, so
you, in the shark form,
feel the angel start to move.
Your desire to understand
the thoughts of this being
have awoken it from
whatever was binding it.
- f*ck yeah, cool.
- And you see that that's
Pete, Ricky, that's you.
- I'm going to just ready action to attack
any alligators that come near.
- Hell yeah.
So you ready an action.
Ricky, the alligators do.
Cool.
You get a free attack on one
'cause you have an action readied.
- And none of them came into my sentinel?
- None, no they're, like, jumping,
so they're out of your reach
by the time they get there.
- Yeah, that's like a 23.
- Go ahead, the beefy boy
that you've been doing
the flaming sphere damage to, you hit him.
- Great.
I hit him for 10.
- 10, yeah, he is looking so f*cking hurt.
- Oh my God, we haven't
even k*lled him yet?
- But he's gonna jump
up and make an attack.
He's gonna make it with
disadvantage 'cause he's jumping up.
That's a miss.
Jumping up to hit Kingston, that's a miss.
Two of them are jumping after Misty.
Oops.
- Damn, they really like you.
- I know.
- Look, what can I tell you, I'm a star.
- She's a cute little pixie,
she's like a snack to them.
- Yeah, they all are leaping
up, but you're a little bit
too high out of the water
and you're staying away
from the edge as they
chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.
- Shoo, shoo, get outta here, shoo!
- You guys see that
Pete explodes
out of the water.
This angel flies, drops
you on the platform
next to The Rat King.
Circles around, lands
on the platform here.
And is going to...
Heals Ricky Matsui for 17 hit points.
- Oh, wow, I'm, okay, I'm back at 49.
- The angel looks around and says,
hi, it's real nice of you guys.
And she looks over and
says, hey there, Sofie.
- Hi Em, I'm glad to
see you're doing well.
- Well I'm covered in
sh*t and toilet paper,
but other than that,
I'm feeling all right.
- You still look good, you wear it well.
- Oh, thank you.
That's going to be Kugrash.
- Wait, isn't it Sofie,
don't I have a turn?
- Oh, sorry, yes, you do
have a turn, yes, yes, yes.
- So I essentially want to take out my,
I want to take out my little comb,
my little hair styling comb,
and start going at these tails,
trying to get the tangles out.
- So good at styling rats.
- Go for it, roll me some attacks.
- Okay.
Oh, but I'm blessed.
- And doesn't it have disadvantage?
- That was a 14 hit.
- You have advantage on
the first attack roll.
- Ooh, okay, good, I'm gonna need that.
Okay, that was a 17 hit.
- 17 hits.
- Okay.
- 10 damage, roll, any other
attacks that your doing?
- Yeah, I'm gonna...
So that is 18, gonna hit, right?
- 18 hits.
- That's gonna be eight.
And then, f*ck it, burn another
ki point, slap 'em again.
That's gonna hit.
So then for a seven.
- You see that as Em waves over you,
you see Sofia reaches to
the little pack on her belt,
whips out a detangler, like a nail file.
A spray.
The Rat King he says,
what, what are you doing?
What devilry is this?
- If it's your wedding,
you gotta look good.
- What, no, no!
And you see her just muscling in there,
Sofie Bikes, the
tails, grime all over your arm.
Ha, our tail, our tail, our
tail, our tail, our tail!
Our tails, our tails.
And the rats scatter, their tail untangled
as the crown falls to
the ground before you.
- I barf.
I'm right there and I
throw up a bunch of water
that I had swallowed.
- Sewer water.
- Full barf.
- Can I grab the crown
just to hold on to it?
- Yes, absolutely, you can grab the crown.
- I'm sorry I just barfed on it.
- It's honestly fine.
- Kugrash, that's you, baby.
- Sweet.
Okay, I'm a shark right now.
- Maybe we should put
the crown on the shark.
- I would like, wait, okay.
So there's still four dudes there.
Are they, can I poke
my little shark head up
out of the water and see if
these guys still look aggressive
now that the rat isn't?
- They don't look as
focused as they did before.
- Okay.
Can I do...
I guess I'll try to snap out of,
I'm gonna snap out of wild shape
and I'm gonna try to, I guess,
like, reverse the spell.
Try to use, like, animal
handling or something.
- Cool.
- Or actually, you know what?
Let me, can I shark, try to jump up there
and tell Sofie, put, or just tell,
can you throw the crown to me?
- Yeah, if you just swim under
me, I can drop it onto you.
- Cool.
- Cool.
You swim, give me a little athletics check
to pop up there.
And I think you're also
a swimming a creature,
so do with advantage.
- Okay.
- Heavy athletics with the shark.
- He's only, he doesn't have that much.
- Okay, you slump partially over the side.
You're too big for the platform
and Pete has to, like,
jump out of the way.
But you're like kind of
hanging over the side.
But Sofie does drop this
giant crown on your head.
- Sweet, I turn back into Kugrash
so that I'm now a rat king and then I say,
my children, you have a new
f*cking non-d*uche bag king now.
Stop attacking your fellow
friends of the sh*t.
- Go ahead and roll animal
handling with advantage.
- Yeah, come on.
- So you see that, yeah,
the shark flops over,
turns into a rat, you have
this giant crown on your head.
The f*cking king of New York, baby.
You turn to them and say that,
and you see all the alligators go...
And you see they all look so hungry,
but they obey and begin to swim down.
You see that one of them,
three of them just submerge
as the water gets sucked out.
This giant sewer grate here,
you see that one of them pops it up as it,
you see them whirl pooling
and you see that all
the alligators are just very
content but a little sad
and are flushed down this drain together.
And you see the last one goes,
- I'm so sorry f*cking sorry, this sucks.
- We could've used that grate.
- Is that rat still going
after the phantom cheese?
- You see that there are mostly a pile
of drowned rats there, but
you see that there is one rat,
this little cheese there,
that is crawling over the
dead bodies of his companions.
You see he says,
you must brave on, soldier,
your king's orders.
Cheese for the crown, long you have come,
long you have tarried here.
- Oh my God—
- Let your hand be the hand.
And you see he reaches a hand up.
Pete, you feel your spell,
it is just a minor illusion of cheese.
You could pump a little
bit more juice into it
to make it a little bit
realer, if you wanted to.
- I do that.
- His hand touches a little
piece of solid cheese,
and he goes, a life spent
in service to a cause
is the life I have chosen.
My king, the cheese is yours.
And collapses on the other rats.
- I'm watching rapt so that I can use this
in my next performance.
- I move the flaming
sphere on over to them.
A viking funeral for my brothers.
It just smells like sh*t instantly.
- Y'all gotta get me the f*ck outta here.
I am done with this sewer,
we were at a nice party.
- Kugrash, Kugrash is weeping.
They were tricked.
- It's not safe to be down
here in an enclosed space
with burning rats.
- You have any antibiotics on you?
- No.
- I wish I had that nip of Smirnoff now.
- And then I'm gonna put the
toasted rats down the drain
so that the crocs can eat them.
- Toasted rats?
- Yeah, a bunch of toasted
rats go down the drain.
You hear some hungry alligators go,
mmm, thank you.
- Hey, least I could do.
- The Rat King is defeated.
And you see that the control panel,
as Pete and Sofie jiggle
the control panel,
opens both the door that
you guys came through
and this upper door here.
- Cool.
- Wow.
- Wild.
- Wild.
- What were we doing, the wedding.
- Oh, right.
- What about Perry?
- Should we go back to the
wedding just covered on sh*t?
- We should talk to the statue.
- You see Em looks
around and says,
first of all, I'm so sorry.
I didn't, you guys came
here from a wedding?
That is so thoughtful.
- Yeah, well, I mean this was
also supposed to be a wedding.
- I mean honestly, also
like, we give it three years,
you know what I'm saying,
it's one of those weddings.
Like you go as formality.
- I know you wanna like
leave a note and be like,
if this ends within a year,
can I get the gift back?
- Right, I really
could use that blender.
- What is the lifespan of a pigeon, right?
- Oh, yeah, that's true, let's not, oh—
- Oh, that's true, the pigeon might die.
- Oh, is it for money,
was it for pigeon money?
- You see she says, she says,
look, I gotta get back to
the fountain, all right.
Something came and tore me off.
The Rat King was there and
he dragged me away but—
- But it wasn't The Rat King—
- Something else did it?
- No, nothing else, to tear
me off of that fountain
you would need powerful magic.
- Do you think it was infernal?
- Did it feel infernal, yeah?
- Could be.
Yeah, it coulda been infernal,
but maybe something else.
Listen, I gotta get back to my fountain.
You guys know your way out of the sewers?
- Yeah.
- I'm sure Kug can.
- Come talk to me at
the fountain any time.
You're all sweethearts.
- Oh, babes, since
you're a angel of water,
you can clean us up a
little bit, could you?
- What am I, just some two-bit cherub?
No I'm the Angel of the
Waters of Healing, blessed.
And fire hose blasts you guys.
You are clean as daisies,
you even smell kinda nice.
Sort of like the park in spring,
a little bit of flowers on the air.
You are fully drenched, it is
water, it is not, not water.
- Can I roll to see how much
of that $1,000 worth of blow was ruined?
- Oh, yeah, roll me a D20.
- And then it wasn't ruined?
- You want high, not low.
- What's a—
- You want a high roll
here, not a low roll.
- I look at you and say,
this backpack situation,
you really make it work, and I give you—
- Oh, thank you.
- Bardic inspiration.
- Bardic inspiration.
- That six?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- 16, 20.
- 20!
Not nat, but 20.
- You look, the plastic
cling wrap is still there.
- Okay, cool.
- Come talk to me at the
fountain any time, dears.
I owe you one.
And don't think that I would be mad
if you called in that favor, know that.
Kisses.
- Appreciate you.
- Spreads her wings and
flies out of the sewers.
The Rat King defeated, you
hold his crown in your hands.
And somewhere the wedding
of Angela Confetti and
Ronald Pigeon continues.
Tune in next time for
another exciting episode
of the Unsleeping City.
- Angela, you're making a huge mistake.
- Ronald Pigeon.
Can we get out of this dirty-a*s sewer?
- Is it appropriate of
your various cultures
to say hi at a wedding,
leave for the entire ceremony
and then come back to enjoy
the free food and drink?
- Darling, the show must go on.
- It's not too much longer,
all you need is another year.
You're gonna get it out of this.
- This feeling of confidence
that you have right now,
enjoy it while it lasts.
- What was it again?
- Jeffery.
- Wouldn't wanna say your real name
or bubbles would come
out of my mouth, huh?
You see Alejandro and Astor,
they did not sleep last night.
You may have found something.
Silence, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
All of the glassware in
your bedroom shatters.
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03x04 - Scramble in the Sewers
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A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.
A tabletop role-playing game show produced by and broadcast on Dropout and created and generally hosted by Brennan Lee Mulligan as the show's regular Dungeon Master.