12x13 - Opening Up

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

-[Arissa] This is the true story…
-[all] True story…

[Frank] …of seven strangers…

[Trishelle] …picked to live in a casino…

[Alton] …work together
and have their lives taped…

[Brynn] …to find out what happens…

-[Steven] …when people stop being polite…
-[Irulan] …and start getting real.

[all] The Real World: Las Vegas!

-[Arissa] Baby, yeah!
-[all laughing]

[upbeat music playing]

I don't like the fact
that when we were given a job,

-nobody seemed to want to do it.
-[Steven] Hmm.

And that's what I saw
and it pissed me off. It made me mad.

I've been working
ever since I was 14 years old.

It's been a struggle.

I don't like people who

will come into a situation like this
and have all of this and [bleep] on it.

I know that we have to work.

I know that I have to get out of bed

if I’m hung over or if I'm very tired,
or sometimes even if I'm very sick.

[Steven] I think the way you go
about relaying your feelings

are probably not the best way to do it.

Like, you kind of harp on
instead of explain yourself

in, like, a tactful manner?

I think that's the reason that, like,
there's, like, friction within the house.

It's like, I didn't want
to go home sometimes because I knew

that you or Irulan's gonna yell
at me about something.

-[Arissa] About what? What did you do?
-You'll yell-- You're always yelling

about something or made us
feel bad about something.

You can't sit there and say to me.
I will be more than happy

-to amend my behavior--
-Okay, well. Arissa, Arissa.

I’m not making it up.
Why would I make it up?

What do you have
to back your last statement?

That's what I’m saying.
I didn't do [bleep].

[Steven] Just get out, Arissa.

-Steven, listen--
-Just get out.

[Steven] Honestly, just get out.
I'm trying to take a nap.

-Just get out.
-[Arissa] Steven, [bleep] you.

-Okay. [bleep] me. Oh…
-[Arissa] Now [bleep] you.

[bleep] you, Arissa.

'Cause you're a [bleep] b*stard.

-I'm a c*ck [bleep].
-And you're gonna [bleep].

[Steven] I'm gonna learn my lesson, baby.
I'm gonna learn it, [bleep].

Arissa's a really emotional girl,

'cause she's used to fighting
her whole life.

Let's rack it. Let's play a game.

[Arissa] I'm so used to being
this big ball of emotion all the time.

I need to change my outlook.

I need to not focus on thinking
that the world is out to get me,

and for me to change,
it's just to mellow out. I am a hothead.

I feel like if I don't make a change soon
or make an effort to change,

then this is who I am going to be.

[upbeat music playing]

[Frank] In order to make
our little group become one,

Marc is sending us
to an all-day team-building workshop.

I'm looking forward
to participating in team-building workshop

because it's something new to do.

-I'm excited.
-[Alton laughs]

I have a feeling
that it's at Awesome Ann's house,

but nobody really hears when I say that.

And then we pull up,
and sure enough, it's Awesome Ann.

-[indistinct chatter]
-[Ann] Wouldn't you know it? Oh, my God.

-Come on in.
-[Brynn] I see Awesome Ann.

Hello, ma'am. How are you?

And I am…

not looking forward to it. [laughs]

-[Ann] Wow.
-Back again.

Back again.

[dramatic music playing]

Look at all of your faces.

-Are you nervous?
-[Frank] No.

I was a little scared
that it would be you.

[all laugh]

[Ann] You know what? I'm offended.

-Really, I am.
-No, I know you're not.

-You understand.
-[Ann] You should be.

[laughs] Oh, God.

This is very, very tough training.

Tough enough that some
of you are gonna get to the point

where you're gonna want to leave.

I'm gonna ask you
when you hit those walls to hang in there.

So, how many of you have

a sense that there's some trust
in this group?

Some trust?

Arissa has trust issues,

starting up from her parents,
and just the overall way

that she's always been judged
and always been, like, criticized

and ridiculed.

[Ann] Trust is a crucial piece
of having a successful relationship,

and after this next process,
I’m gonna ask you that question again.

-[Trishelle] Do it.
-[Steven] Let me catch you.

[Ann] First, I need everyone
to line up on either side.

Keep your knees flexed.

Your arms should be alternating
and your hands should be flat,

-but palms up.
-[Arissa] Palms up.

[Ann] You're gonna get up
to the second-to-last rung.

You're gonna call out,

"I trust my team to help me with…"

and then whatever challenge
you need the team to help you with,

is what you're gonna call out.

You're gonna cross your arms
across your chest,

and you're going to keep your arms
across your chest as you fall.

It's very normal
to be afraid to be up here.

You've got to trust your team.

There is no way
that I am going to get on this ladder

and jump backward into the arms
of people that I can't even trust

to clean a sink.

I trust my team
to help me give up control.

Ready to fall.

[all] Fall away.

This b*tch is crazy.

[indistinct chatter]

[Ann] You're gonna have
an adrenaline rush

like you've not experienced
in a very long time.

-[Trishelle chuckles]
-[Ann] Who's going first?

[Arissa] I have no clue
how Trishelle is doing this.

I trust my team
to help me to listen to everyone

and respect other people's opinions.

[Ann] When you're ready to fall,
shout, "ready to fall."

Wait for your team
to respond, "fall away."

-[Trishelle] Ready to fall.
-[all] Fall away!

-[Ann] There you go. Yeah!
-[all cheer]

[Ann] Who's next? Everybody gets to go.
Who's next?

[Trishelle] Steven.

[Arissa] I'm not gonna do this.
I'm not gonna do this.

I refuse to do this.

-[Steven] Ready to fall?
-[all] Fall away!

-[grunts]
-Right on, guys!

[Steven] Get up there, Alton and Arissa.

-[Irulan] Go ahead, Arissa.
-[Steven] Alton, I'll take your place.

-[Brynn] You're gonna do it.
-[Steven] You're gonna do it.

-You weigh ten pounds.
-[Frank] I know, this isn't like

jumping out of an airplane, okay?

[Steven] I'll catch you.
One person can catch you.

-[Brynn] Arissa!
-Come on. Get up there.

-Get up there, come on, baby.
-[Trishelle] Trust us.

We're your roommates.
We would never let anything happen to you.

[Frank] You're not, like,
leaping over the Grand Canyon.

[Steven] Yeah, and you weigh 13 pounds.

[Ann] Soaking wet.

[Arissa] I am very, very,
very angry right now.

And the anger is to mask my fear

and my shame for crying.

[Ann] Take a deep breath.
Lean against the ladder for support.

-[Brynn] Come on, Arissa.
-[Arissa] Ann is saying,

"You just have to trust."

"I promise. I promise
nothing's going to happen to you."

I trust my team
to help me learn to trust.

-Ready to fall.
-[all] Fall away!

-[Ann] Yeah.
-[all cheer]

[Steven] Arissa asking the team
to help her learn to trust means

I've got to step up
and be there for her emotionally

and not put her down for her feelings

and just treat her
like she's my friend, basically.

[Ann] Let's talk about this process.

What was it really about?

I know it's about trust,
but what did it mean for you?

It was a lot easier
for, like, the team to catch

one of our falling teammates

than probably
if I was standing there by myself.

The strength of the group is far greater
than the strength of any individual.

How many of you felt better
after Arissa went than when you went?

-Definitely.
-[Frank] Yeah.

[Ann] Why do you think that is?

I think they wanted me to succeed at this.

[Frank] Even though we all did
the same things,

like, her hurdle was a lot larger
than ours.

[Ann] Hmm.

-And that each of you really does care…
-[Alton] Yeah.

[Ann] …especially
when someone's struggling,

but maybe you don't always show it.

[Irulan] Arissa has been going through
a pretty tough time.

She's at a point
where she's ready to grow as a person

and change the things

that she is not proud of
or that she doesn't like.

[mid-tempo music playing]

[Ann] Ladies and gentlemen,
you're on a boat

out in the middle of the ocean.

You're sailing, having a great time.

Things are just…
[exhales sharply] …laugh a minute.

You hit something,
and the boat is sinking.

You didn't prepare very well
and there's a life raft

big enough for one person.

One person will be able
to take messages back to loved ones.

And all of you have an opportunity
to share your thoughts,

feelings with each other
before the boat sinks.

But only one person survives,

and you all decide who that is.

And here's how you do that.
You have one "you live" vote.

Decide who that one person is.

To everyone else,
you turn, you look them in the eye,

and you tell them, "you die."

You move to the next person.
You tell them, "you die."

[Irulan] Do we decide
as a group who gets to live?

[Ann] No. You decide individually.
Each of you walks around

and you tell each person

"you die" or "you live,"
and only one person…

You may only say to one person,
"you live."

Lifeboat exercise is what would happen

if we were all
on the Titanic, and it goes down,

and we have a life preserver

for one person to live,
and we all have a few minutes

to choose who lives.

-[Ann] Who's starting?
-[Trishelle] Oh, God,

-I do not want to start.
-[Ann] All you say is

"you die" or "you live."
Look 'em in the eye.

[mid-tempo music playing]

[Trishelle sobs] I don't want to do this.

[Ann] You can go last.
Step back into line.

-[Trishelle] Can't go first.
-[Ann] Everybody has to do it.

So go, start.

-[Frank] You die.
-[Trishelle chuckles]

[Frank] You die.

You die.

-You die.
-[Ann] Say it loud enough

-so everyone--
-[Steven] You die.

You die.

You die.

-[Steven] You live.
-You die.

You die.

You die.

[Alton] You die.

You live.

[Trishelle] You die.

You die.

You die.

You live.

I think Arissa hasn't lived in 22 years,
and I feel like this is her chance.

[Ann] The raft is only big enough
for one person.

And, by my count, you all die.

[Steven] Somebody has to live.

[Ann] You don't want any messages
to go back to your family.

-[Steven] Somebody has to live.
-[Ann] All right?

[Frank] I'll choose to die.

-[Alton] I choose to die.
-[Brynn] I choose to die.

I choose to live.

I'm giving myself a second chance,
a chance to live my life the way

that I am supposed to.

So, what do you want

Arissa to take back
to your friends and family,

or what do you want to say to each other?

-[Brynn sniffles]
-[Frank] As far as just what I want

Arissa to take back
to my friends and family,

I wouldn't want them
to remember me by my last words.

I would want everyone
that I love back home

to remember me for who I am

in the 22 years
that I've shared with them.

I'd want everybody
to remember me for who I became…

in the last few years of my life.

I want you to tell my family
that I've met six wonderful people

and that I'm going to be with my mother.

I would just want to tell
all you guys that…

no matter many times I've been a b*tch,
I love each and every one of you.

I'm glad to have known
each and every one of you.

Just want you all to know
that if I was really in this situation,

that I would never choose my own life
over any of yours.

Just specifically to my mom,
I'd let my mom know

I'd be up there taking care
of my little brother Jonathan.

[Arissa] I see pain and I see guilt
in Alton's eyes when he talks

about his brother's death.
It breaks my heart to see Alton hurting.

[sniffles]

I would want you to go
to my mom's grave since I've never been.

[Arissa] By choosing life,

I would choose to live
for every single one of you

and go on to do things
with each and every one of you

in my mind for every day
that I continue to live.

Each and every one of you
has taught me a lesson,

a valuable, valuable lesson…

of…

what it is to genuinely care about people…
[sniffles]

…and I appreciate every single one of you.

[mid-tempo music playing]

[Ann] You've just been given
a huge, huge responsibility.

What are you gonna do?

Write it down, okay?

All right?

[Arissa] I have probably cried more,

and felt more emotion here
than ever in my life.

And I came here for a reason,

and not to escape my problems,
because they have followed me here,

but to turn around and face them
and learn how to deal with them

or change them.

Understanding what it is that I seem
to be doing wrong within my life

is one of the hardest things
that I’m gonna have to go through.

But I feel good.

[Steven] It's so odd that
all these things are,

like, pretty much what I've been
practicing and working on

for the last several years.
I know I've made a difference

in people's lives,
so I’m really happy with where I'm at.

[Ann] You're all dead.
You can't be talking.

-We're in the afterlife.
-[Irulan] We're talking in the afterlife.

[laughs] Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

There's the Carpathia.
Do you know who the Carpathia is?

-[Trishelle] No.
-[Ann] That is the ship

that showed up
to pick up the survivors of the Titanic.

You're all floating
but you're all still alive.

[Alton] Hmm. Oh, man.

You have an opportunity
to take the last thoughts

and the last feelings
and the last emotions

that you had
for your friends and your families

and your loved ones and each other
and turn them into actions.

[soft music playing]

-[Trishelle] Arissa's back.
-[Brynn] Hmm?

-[Trishelle] I said Arissa's back.
-[Ann] What was this process about?

Irulan? Anything?

I want to make sure
that everybody who's important to me

knows how much they give
and I want to make sure

that every day that I live,
I remember that,

and I’m giving back and…

I mean, I’m pretty okay
with dying, actually,

and life is good. But...

everybody meets their maker.

[sobs]

[Ann] Alton, what are you thinking
right now, buddy?

That I… [sniffles]

That my little brother and my friend,

when they went out missing
or whatever…

he wasn't supposed to go.

I was supposed to go. [sobs]

[Irulan] Alton, who is such
an incredible person,

such a caretaker, such a giver,

is feeling things
about his brother's death

that he won't allow himself to let go of,

that he feels responsible,
that he feels that it should've been him.

-[Trishelle] Alton, it's not your fault.
-[sobs]

There's probably not much
that he could've done personally

to prevent that situation.

[Ann] When you have a loss in your life,

you start thinking,
"How did this happen?" and "Why me?"

That's really normal.

[Ann] Did you ask Arissa
to go to the grave?

When are you gonna do that?

I don't know if I ever will. [sniffles]

As much as it hurts me
to think about my mother,

it makes me feel so much better
to talk about her,

because it's like I’m regaining memories
that I didn't have before,

and I feel like memories
are so much better

than having nothing at all.

I don't feel, like, worthy
of going to her grave. [sniffles]

[Ann] Hmm, really?

If the roles were reversed
and you were up in heaven,

would you want her to come see you?

-Yeah.
-[Ann] Just think about that.

When you talk behind
each other's backs,

when you forget
to tell people that you love them,

when you lie to them
or when you lie by omission,

you don't give 'em the true you.
It's like saying, "You die."

[Arissa] Today is the first step

to seeing the world

through not only my eyes,

but through somebody else's
and understanding the world

not only through my eyes
but someone else's.

[Ann] Okay. Stand up in a circle.

Look around at the faces
of your teammates.

Notice how those faces
have changed

-in the past eight hours.
-["Start Over" playing]

♪ We can start with all the things
That turn us out ♪

♪ And we can go right down
The list and throw them out ♪

♪ Can we start over? ♪

-[Ann] Repeat after me. I am strong.
-[all] I am strong.

-[Ann] I am powerful.
-[all] I am powerful.

-[Ann] I overcome.
-[all] I overcome.

-[Ann] I love this team.
-[all] I love this team.

-[Ann] I am strong!
-[all] I am strong!

-[Ann] I am powerful!
-[all] I am powerful!

-[Ann] I overcome!
-[all] I overcome!

-[Ann] I love this team!
-[all] I love this team!

-[Ann] I am strong!
-[all] I am strong!

-[Ann] I am powerful!
-[all] I am powerful!

-[Ann] I overcome!
-[all] I overcome!

-[Ann] I love this team!
-[all] I love this team!

I do feel there's a genuine love
between us all.

Yeah, we're gonna get mad at each other
and get frustrated with each other.

We have a lot of time left,
and I think it's gonna just get better.

-[Trishelle] Thank you, Ann.
-[Ann] You're welcome.

You're welcome.
Oh, I love hugs. Thank you. Thanks.

♪ Here you are
And there's where you want to be ♪

♪ But don't think
You don't have company ♪

Ann hugs me and says,
"There is a reason why you lived."

My team members saw something in me
that I might not necessarily see myself.

-All right?
-[whispers] Yes.

And she said just to hold on to that.

-Thank you.
-[Ann] You're welcome.

[soft music playing]

[Steven] It was uncanny how, like,

those things, like,
those major things tonight,

those were, like, the main points
of what I've been working

-on my whole life.
-[Arissa] Right.

Right down to the death thing.

If I came in here
like I was even five months ago…

everybody in that whole room
would be like,

"You have to die no matter what."

You know what I’m saying?
Like, I know who I was before,

but even who I am now
is still not who I want to be.

We're all works in progress. Period.

And when you get out of this,
three months or four months,

however long we're here,
you're not gonna be perfect.

You're never gonna be perfect.
Nobody's ever gonna be perfect.

We're always gonna be changing things,

and you are definitely--
You're making a huge attempt to change.

And amidst all this stress,
you're doing a great job.

She's like a sponge right now.
She's really open and, like,

ready to, like,
soak up all this, like, criticism.

She's growing right before our eyes.

Being here and just, like, opening up,

this is, like, a really,
really scary, like, process for me,

and I don't really know
how to handle it or deal with it.

See, like, I’m crying now,
and I, like, have no reason to,

but I am, like, that emotional.

If I can help in any way, bring it.
I had somebody help me.

I'm not gonna do
as good a job as my ex-wife,

but I can try.

You know?

Thank you.

Come here.

Oh. You're so sweet. Thank you.

-Ready to go?
-Let's go.

-[Arissa laughs]
-I'm gonna go to sleep.

I know, I feel like I'm gonna knock out.

I'm headed on a road of self-discovery.
First stop, learning how to trust.