03x19 - Bad Dude

[bunniefuu]

- You've never been to a hockey game?
- Oh, never.

Great. Okay, I can arrange to
get some tickets for next week.

- I love it. - Great. Be blessed.

I know a couple of the players.
I know the coach.

Hey, I don't want to meet the players.

I got you.

Oh, beautiful.

Oh, no.

Call Manhattan South, now!

Wow, man!

You guys don't know the
meaning of the word bravery.

Not till you've seen
Bobby Crocker in action.

Saperstein, you wouldn't know what to do.

What are you talking about?
-No, no.

Just picture this, right?

It's 12 o'clock midnight.

And this little vassa girl is
screaming, "Oh, help me, help!"

Get out of here.

Three shots ring out.

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

That's four.

Here comes Prince
Valliant, Tom Callen, Bobby Crocker,

smashes down
the door, runs in, takes

a dive for the sack, and puts the
cramp on three pillows and a watermelon.

Hey, Crocker, a busted watermelon.

Its a long spook!

Crocker!

cr*cker, Weaver, and the clowns.

Funny, huh?

I guess.

Maybe you got up to how it
works with a full-choked 12-gauge shotgun.

Trigger man? Professional?

Nobody. Not in my end of Harlem.

Uh, this sh**ting took place a
long way from Harlem, Lieutenant.

Yeah, a watermelon wearing
an afro is a black man's joke.

Uh, Lieutenant, even
though the intended victim

was black, that doesn't necessarily
mean that the hit man was, uh...

Stavros.

You've been whispering
to your plants again, right?

In a vision, it comes to him.

The hit man could be white, even
if the intended victim was black.

Okay, see if you can find out in Harlem
whether anyone imported a sh**ter.

You, Stavros,

check by telex with LA, Chicago, Detroit, like that.

See if any prominent shotgunners have dropped
out of sight recently, white or black.

Yes, sir.

You check with BCI if
they got a make on the

prints from the apartment, then try to
come up with a maker's label on the wig.

Who sold it when and to who, and
then you give Crocker a hand with, uh...

The apartment, right?
-Yeah.

Why don't you start
with your Miss Vassa,

landlady, super if there is one,
the neighboring apartments.

I want all there is
on this guy, okay?

All right, go, move on this thing.

Go?

Move on this thing?

You've got half the detectives
in this squad working on who?

Some guy who shot three
pillows and a watermelon to death.

And if they do find
him, all we can bust him

for is the ill*gal
discharge of a firearm.

How about felonious
as*ault on a watermelon?

That isn't funny, Theo.

If the borough commander
finds out we've got six

plainclothesmen out on the
street without even a felony.

You know something else we have, Frank?

We got plenty of nothing.

Not one single hard factor on
the guy who rented that room.

Nothing? Uh-huh.

Very big, very black.

He lived there for 10 days, period.

In The Village,

well, great
place for a black man to hide out.

Hey, Frank, his blood wasn't hiding.

Somebody found him and blew his bed apart.

I mean, how do you think that
trigger man found him in the first place?

He got a make on the
right apartment without

making any inquiries of the
super or anyone else in the building.

This dude didn't have
a name on the mailbox.

You're saying he put
the word out on himself?

Tell me a quicker way to get a make
on somebody who's gunning for you.

What, quicker way to get dead?.

So, he's a bad dude, Frank.

B.C.I.
says he's got hands like a catcher's mitt,

but his prints aren't even on files.

And maybe the feds or the
military will come up with something.

Now, that's funny.

Lieutenant, I got a make.

On our watermelon man?.

No, not him, on the shotgunner.

Okay, give me.

Detroit P.D. has a William T.

Bain who's gotten very
prominent in recent years,

a.k.a. Shotgun Willie,

because his trademark's a double-barreled,


They got him down for seven
positive hits and none provable.

He use this double-oh
shot for his little peccadillos?.

Double-oh, yeah.

Willie's a black male,



fancy dresser,

carried the shotgun broken down in two
special pockets sewn inside his overcoat.

Last seen in Detroit when?.

About a week ago.

Lots of prior arrests,
but no current warrants.

Okay, that puts it up to Weaver in Harlem,

where he's trying to pick up a whisper
from the brothers about any imported heat.

Make sure he gets Shotgun Willie's
description next time he calls in, okay?.

Hi, Gil, what's
happening?

Hey, Zonah.

Until Mother's Day,
I'm as broke as a

jack-legged creature,
that's what's happening.

Oh, you jiving.

All that cabbage you got?

You ain't on no welfare.

Well, you see, it was about this crap game.

Oh, my, my.

I thought he was out.

I used my pass key.

And there he was with the
biggest scatter g*n you ever seen.

Girl, what he was doing with it?

Rubbing at it with a cloth.

I was scared.

With those two bars across the street.

What'd he do when he seen you?

Do?

He just laughed at the way he just said,

you ought to knock, mama.

Girl, you crazy.

Come on, let's get out of here.

I'll catch you later, Zonell.

Bye, baby.

The old ovarian register did.

And I had it up, Oreo.

Did you hear me, Boo?

Get in the wind.

Split.

Blow.

Get it?

Leave.

Moral squad.

Mel Carter, please.

Mel, I got you a flea bag I want you
to come down on and holler at me.

Yeah.

This man is pushing everything except...

About 30.





This is real sharp.

Yeah, room 418.

Came in after lunch.

Ain't been out again.

Now, you didn't get nothing here, okay?

Word out, he's a life taker.

Go, Jack.

Now, keep the clerk off the house phone.

Crocker.

Yes, sir, lieutenant.

Saperstein, Stavros.

Yeah.

Right here, lieutenant.

Give me a warrant for
room 418 Gaylord Hotel.

Okay.

Weaver's at the Gaylord Hotel.

Willy's in room 418.

The warrant's on its way.

Now, keep Weaver out of it.

And remember, this guy's
got a 12-gauge shotgun.

Right, lieutenant.

William Bain, open up.

It's the police.

Open up.
Police.

Better come on out of there, Bain.

You guys come to give
me the keys to the city?

Key to my heart.

Search warrant.

Tosses.

Get dressed, beautiful.

We're going downtown.

M-O-N-D-A-Y.

Monday.

N-I-G-H-T.

Night.

Where were you Monday night?

Monday night?

Oh, yeah, man.

That was his new Disney film set.

What are you doing in New York?

Going to the movies, sergeant.

Who are you looking for?

I was trying to find God, sergeant.

Who are you working for?

Well, I is retired, sergeant.

Call me sergeant again, I'll
wrap this around your head.

Is this your shotgun, Bain?

Now, since you took it from my
hotel room, I guess you know it is.

Now, unless you got some
more questions for me,

I'm going to take my yak and leave.

And you can tell your boy
here that even in New York,

it ain't against the law to own a shotgun,

especially when it's all
broke down and cased.

Unless, of course, it's sawed off.

Let him out, chopper stain.

My pleasure, captain.

And I wouldn't do that to a nice
useful g*n like this here, sergeant.

I figure we got nothing to hold Willie on

and he'll be out of here
without even calling a lawyer.

That's why I wanted to
hold Gil back, you know,

when you hit Willie's room, so
we wouldn't burn him to Willie.

Well, now that he figures
he's got the police off his back...

You mean he wanted to be grabbed.

He made sure the maid saw the shotgun,

figured we'd hear about it eventually.

Of course.

Otherwise, where was his topcoat
with the special pockets for a shotgun?

Where were the shelves
for the shotgun like that?

Well, the army came through.

Well, how'd you make out with Willie?

He'll let me know if he'll accept a
job as police commissioner or not.

Well, a watermelon man finally got
a name, Salathial Harms, Salathial.

That was one of David's heirs, wasn't it?

Yeah, one of these
Dartmouth boys, you know.

This Salathial Harms, he's quite a man.

Listen to this, fellas.

Six foot six, two hundred
and eighty-four pounds.

Played pro ball footy, forget it.

Was a lieutenant in the special
forces during the late Vietnam w*r.

Two field promotions in grade to captain.

Three decorations for valor.

Skilled in small arms,
silent k*lling techniques,

hand-to-hand combat demolitions,

separated at Fort Oak, California, 1971.

Last known address,

care of his parents in Oakland, California.

Get those distributed out, Deborah.

Lieutenant Kojak, I'm Salathial Harms.

Get out of my face.

Hey, coochie-coo.

You're one big angry man,

but I got a bash in my pocket
that's bigger than both of us.

Respect it.

Calm down and show your class so turn
around and get the hell out of this office.

Fair enough.

Why don't you get a cup
of coffee and hang around?

So?

I haven't broken any
laws in your town, have I?

You keep messing around my
life, you're going to get me wiped.

You hear what I'm telling you, man?

Well, somebody's going to get you
wiped unless you tell us what's going on.

If it hadn't been for that cutie with
the watermelons and the pillows...

Yeah, well, that was my little cutie.

You dig where I'm coming from?

I'll tell you what I dig, Harms.

I dig the fact that... I'm
just doing my number, baby.

You keep your lead soldiers out of my way
and everything is going to be just cool.

Thank you.

Stavros.

Saperstein.

All right, go after him.

I don't want you to lose him and I
don't want him to know you're there.

And I want his whole scam, where he's from,

where he's living, now and like that, okay?

We'll do it, Lieutenant.

Kranker, you get Harms on the telex.

You know, Oakland, San Francisco,
Los Angeles, California, Iowa,

patrol California State
Police in Sacramento,

haven't sent you his rap sheet

or whatever it is they call a
yellow sheet out there, okay?

Oh, and have the California
Bureau of Collective

Investigative Services
check for a possible license.

Private detective?

You know something I don't, Theo?

Frank, in all the years you've been a cop,

how many times have you ever
seen a scene like this one, huh?

Zap-a-dap-a-doo.

It takes somebody with a clean
conscience to pull something like that off.

How many private detectives do
you know with a clean conscience?

We eliminate him as a
wanted criminal, right?

We eliminate him as a cop because
he would have flashed his shield, right?

We eliminate him as Mr.

Joe because he's got a
professional head man after him.

And then what?

Is he scared?

Pleading for help?

He's peeved.

He's peeved because we showed up.

So what's left besides a tough private cop?

Oh, I still think... I think those
clowns better not lose him

and I think we've a better not lose Willie.

You know, if we can keep tabs on
both of them, we might just have a future.

Cheers, baby.

Hang for room service, baby.



This is 723K.

Meet Unit 712 at the
usual place, okay?



Crazy as sappers.

Do you know the lieutenant there?

No, it's not a fortress routine,

but we could use some relief help.

Yeah.

Whoa.

He's on a move.

Let's go.

Get in.

You try to boost a cop's
car, Sonny?

Stay there.

That was beautiful, Lieutenant.

Shotgun Willie is looking for a
very heavy dude by the name of. ..

Salathio Harms.

So what am I doing out on the street?

Well, Sal paid the precinct a little visit.

Figures.

Apparently, Willie wants to make sure
he sees Harms before Harms sees him.

And no word of who Harms is, huh?

No word of who he's
looking for?

Not a whisper.

And nothing on who hired Willie.

Also, Willie got an
overcoat out of the cleaners,

and I'll give you odds that he's got a
special pocket sewn inside for his shotgun.

Stores it at the dry
cleaners until he needs it.

Huh, that's beautiful.

He's spending the day with
one of Smiley Potter's girls.

Sweet young thing by the name of Delia May.

Delia May?

Well, for now, anyway, we've
got both Willie and Harms on ice.

All right, let's go.

Where'd he go?

You didn't see him jump in my pocket.

Now, come on, let's get over there.

You got something for me?

You're being paid to take risk, Boot.

Uh-huh.

Gaylord Hotel.

Delia May?

Hustler?

Who's a mack?

Smiley Potter.

Righteous.

I'd like to report an attempt at mugging.

Harms.

H-A-R-M-S.

First name?

S-A-L-A-T-H-I-E-L.

Well, officer, the sailors
were two white men.

Bravery? We haven't any of us seen bravery.

Not until we see Stavros and
Saperstein try to calm the girls down

after getting shoved
into the massage parlor.

Yeah.
Yeah, right.

What does Fun City come to when the
streets aren't even safe anymore for...

muggers?

What the hell do they mean, muggers?

Well, that's the way
communications got the report, Frank.

He shoved a police officer
into a massage parlor

while the police officer
was in pursuit of his duty.

Two police officers, but who counts?

The point is that he phoned it
in and said they were muggers.

Well, they must have flashed their tin.

They didn't have time to shove their tin.

He sunk at them, Frank.

He made them think he'd gone down the alley
to sneak into a bar the back way, right?

They can't see him, so they open
the door to what they think is the bar,

only it was the rear
entrance of a massage parlor.

Soon as they open the door,

he shoves them through, slams the
door, wham, bam, thank you, Sam,

instant encounter group.

And so he gets away with it.

And all we can do is hope that he
and Shotgun Willie don't get together,

because if they do...
Yeah, because if they do,

we'll be scraping what's left off the
sidewalk into one of the car owners.

Well, they call them the fold lock bags.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, there aren't
any warrants on arms in California.

And I was right about him being
registered as a private detective.

When did that come in?

Overnight on the telex.

I'm gonna go call Fruit
and Nutland right now,

see if we can fill in some of the blanks.

Hello, Betty.

This is Theo Kojak in New York.

I thought I remembered
you were an early bird.

Hey, look, Benito,

I need a line on a private
cop by the name of Sal Harms.

Salatio.

Yeah, I was wondering
if he may be a bounty.

You do know him?

How beautiful.

And?

Yeah.

Then he is.

Okay, Benny.

Yeah, many thanks.
Bye-bye.

I gave it the office, baby.

Oh, baby, that show business.

You a late rise of love?

No, I'm Jeannie Dixon in drag,

foretelling your future.

I see before you great deals of green.

I've long shaped some green paper
with portraits of presidents on them.

Ha!

A shotgun Willie Bain Pro.

Seven own hits to his credit in Detroit.

Always blows them away
with a 12-gauge shotgun.

He's been imported to New York

to make a hit on this man here.

Salatio Harms.

Now, some of you have seen him.

He isn't an easy man to forget.

There's photos of him, of course.

Neither man has committed a
chargeable offense in New York.

Not one we can make stick anyway.

I've just learned from a
San Francisco detective

that Harms is for lack of a
better term, a body hunter.

Just like the old cowboy movies.

That's right.

Only Harms does it for bail bondsman.

When someone jumps bail,

the bondsman gets stuck
for the cash he put up, right?

Now, if he can find the man who jumped

and gets him back into
the jurisdiction of the

court, he gets his
money back in like that.

That's where Harms comes in.

Right.

And that's where Mr. X comes in.

Okay.

The man Harms is in New York looking for.

And the man who hired
shotgun Willie to stop Harms.

Harms is a very tough boy and a
big danger to whoever fits in here.

We've got a tag on Willie,

but Harms has dropped out of sight.

That's your job.
Keep looking for him.

Okay. Right.

Look who's the easy part.

We're eating this stuff.

The man at the D.A.

's office says if our witness holds up...
Now, how can a man 6'6 and 300 pounds

disappear like Alice
through a looking glass?

Lieutenant, the phone.
It's Gil Weaver.

Yeah, Gil.

Harms is in Harlem.

He was seen earlier this
afternoon talking with Delia May.

What's the meaning, Weaver?

Could be coincidence.

Could be somebody setting somebody up.

Could be... Could
be, could be, could be.

Could be young love, you know.

Well, how about this?

Shotgun Willie Bain just made an entrance
into the Sweet Magnolia Blossom Cafe.

He looks like he's waiting for somebody.

So what's so exciting about Willie juicing
it up at the Sweet Magnolia Blossom Cafe?

What, does the name of Silk
strike a responsive blue note?

That this Sweet Magnolia Blossom
Cafe is Silk's headquarters? -Yeah.

And who else in Harlem
has the clout these days

to hire an outside
g*n with Willie's wrath?

Willie's still waiting for the man.

There's Silk's car now.

The wage is a sin.

There isn't a sin
that Silkie isn't into.

He's into drugs.

He's into prostitution.

He's into numbers, loan
shock, and protection.

He's into enforcement.

The only thing that
bum isn't into is jail.

You know, in the three years that he just
showed up from the scene from nowhere,

Silk has delved himself into
control of half the action in Harlem.

Well, if Silk is the guy
that, uh, harms his after,

no wonder he's been such a good citizen
here in our lovely city of New York.

He's never let himself
get booked for anything.

Some smart cop might have
sent his fingerprints to California.

And if only there's something
we'll bust him for, huh?

Nothing we can do about it, huh?

I'll tell you that if
he's a fugitive or not.

Let me see if I can pick
up something useful inside.

Slow and easy, my man.

I said I didn't want to see you
until my man was blown away.

You also said it wasn't gonna be
no police interest in our transaction.

Well, there wouldn't be if
you'd made Shaw the first time.

Not the first time, Silk.

That was him laughing

because your boys were so
clumsy they done spooked him.

So... it's gonna
cost you a little extra.

How much extra?

Two more big ones, Silk.

Up front.

Oh, and away.

Consider it done.

I got the end to
his story right here,

just as soon as I get
me a little phone call.

Hey, woman,

what you got for me?

Not what baby?

Who?

I hear you talking.
Where?

The 300 block of
West 144th Street.

Three-story red brick building

in the middle of the block.

There's a rib joint
in the ground floor.


Street over a ribs joint.

Top floor, last
room on the left.

You better be straight.

He's straight.

Do you think I'm
gonna cross you?

I have a phone conversation.

I think some chick is trying to set up
arms for him over on West 144th Street.

Well, you put it into center.

We'll have a radio unit meet you
there and take him on the street

before he has a chance
to assemble that shotgun.

A session of a weapon charge?

That's enough to bust him on.

Hey, why are we gonna...

We're gonna go
chat with the man.

Maybe we'll get lucky.

Might just shake him up
when he finds out we got

to Willie before he can
meet with Sal Arms, right?

Right, Lieutenant.

Oh, sit down.

Keep an eye on him,
will you, Crocker?

What can par

humble silk

do for Super Honk?

Oh.

Well,

why don't you tell Super Honk about hiring
shotgun Willie to blow away Sal Arms?

We were outside when you made
the payoff, Silk.

And what do Sal Arms want to take
you back to sunny California for, Silk?

You got any more small
talk to make, Kojak?

You make it with my lawyer.

When I put the loving
arms on you, baby, you

won't be out until you
look like Uncle Remus.

You ain't nothing, Kojak.

You ain't nothing
but pure dog, boy.

Silky, come here.

You like to be my Valentine?

Why don't we fall
on him, Lieutenant?

Well, if Giller let us know he'd
pick up Willie, I would have.

It's not that we got nothing.

Well, we know Willie
isn't going to talk,

not on just the possession
of a weapons charge.

And if we had him in custody and after
driving Silk's full silk in for questioning.

Enough so we can get a set of his
prints to center California as it is now?

No, no, no, Detroit
Street here, brother.

Detroit, Michigan.

Keep the change.

What if he don't want to be
going to Detroit when he wakes up?

You tell him that Sal
said if he comes back from

Detroit, his next trip is six feet
south and permanent.

Take off.

All right.

Was that right,
your sister?

Ooh, you went upside his head.

You are bad, brother.

Silk?

Willie never showed.

Only Delia May on her way
to pay off the national debt.

Give me my money, man!

Delia? Stop coverin'.

I earned it!

Yeah, how?

Takin' care of business.

What's the eighth army in town?

All right, tell me, who got
bought and sold for this?

You know, it's get-down
time for you boys in blue.

Silk ain't nothin' to me.

Took me up to this
fancy place of his once.

If he ain't hurt, and
a girl he ain't happy.

You gave Holmes the
address to Silk's apartment?

That's where he
said he wanted to go.

You know Silk's apartment?

Over by the river.

Uh, wash the blood off
of it before you spend it.

Uh, Willie, what
about Shotgun Willie?

He's takin'
a cab to Detroit.

When we get upstairs,

you call around
and find my lawyer.

You better go downstairs
and put the car away.

You got it.

Silk?

All the way to the top.

Okay.

I didn't see any bodies
layin' around the lobby.

I guess Holmes isn't here.

You know that doorman's
gonna call up Silk.

I want him to know
we're on the way up.

If we can make him think
we've got Willie and his singer,

I'll tell you somethin'. Maybe
so, do somethin' stupid.

Anyway, I'll go in alone.

Hang loose.

Thank you, brother.

Kojak's on his way up.

Get in the bedroom.

I'll call you if I need you.

Ah, super hark.

My attorney's on his way up.

Oh, well,

you won't be needin'
him tonight, Silk.

You had a little bad luck.

Meaning what, partner?

Meaning your boy Willie went up
against Holmes and he got blown away.

Meaning, uh,

he gave us a deathbed

statement on his way out.

Meaning, uh,

that all that's
admissible in court, baby.

And I guess I got the
right to read you your rights.

Oh, gracious.

Silk.

What you just did.

I mean,

resist and arrest.

Possession of a firearm
without a permit. Naughty!

Martin!

You know, whatever it is
out there in California, Silk,

it must be very, very heavy.

Martin, get his g*n.

Ain't nobody takin'
me back to California.

Damn it, lieutenant.

Why'd you have to go and make
the man do that?

Resist arrest.

Oh, it worked, didn't it?

It's all right, dishonest.

You realize how much win I'm gonna lose if
I don't take this dude back to California?

Hey, that's your worry, baby.

I'll take my prisoner now.

If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't
even know one thing about this dude.

If it wasn't for me, you'd
be dead.

Yeah, sure. Don't flatter yourself, okay?

What about brother Martin
sleepin' his sleep with a just in there?

Oh, where's the other one?

Him. He tried to poke his head
through the wall on the stair landing.

Crocker!

Weaver!

Crocker, in the bedroom.

You, Weaver.

A guy with his head through
the wall on the stairwell.

Who is he?

Zeke Xantas out of Watts.

Ran the vice and narcotics
for the black era of L.

A. County.

Three and a half years ago was
indicted on 23 separate felony counts.

Oh, yeah, I remember.

Half a million dollars bail.

Yeah, which he jumped

and I've been after
him ever since.

And now you tryin' to rob me?

That's the brakes
of the game, baby.

Relax!

Mind your manners.

You know, his lawyers are
gonna make mincemeat out

of that resistant arrest and
that weapon charge, you know?

So we're holdin' for California.

Except he's gonna fight
a tradition he's gonna win

because of your ill*gal
arrest here in New York.

ill*gal arrest? What are
you talkin' about?

Well, sure.

I'm gonna have
to testify for Mr.

Silk here,

that you busted in here without
identifying yourself as a police officer.

I'm gonna have to testify that you
assaulted his secretary and his chauffeur

and that you planted an ill*gal
firearm on about that person.

Silathio, you wouldn't.

When the judge here wear
two of your men posed in his

mugger so they could attempt
to as*ault me in the alley.

Well, I got to tell you something.

Mm-hmm.

You would.

But you can't return him to California
against his will because you, sir,

are a private citizen.

I'd have to protect his civil
rights if he asked me to.

Oh, he won't ask, Lieutenant.

No, no.

No.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Dude in the stairwell is
going to need an... Aah!

Aah!

Amo.

Aah!

Aah!

My true name is
Ezekiel Saunders.

I'm wanted on a California

fugitive warrant.

I wish to return to Los Angeles County
in the company of Salathial Harms

to answer that warrant.

This is of my own free will,

not the result of promises,

coercion,

or force.

Well, I'll call your ambulance.

Come here.

What you turning with?

Oh, I just told him that the
human foot has 56 bones in him,

and every one of those bones
can be broken very easily,

every one of them.

Never thought of that.

Ah, Gil, get a squad
car over here, will you?

To escort our prisoner to... The
guard's gonna frown on you.

Yeah.

To escort our prisoner and Mr.

Harms to Kennedy International.

They got a plane to catch.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Thank you.

Hey, uh,

you gonna pick up
your cash?

Oh, right.

We could add him on two counts.

Come on, Harms,

he's taking him back
to face 23 felony beefs.

Besides, I want to get that dude
out of my jurisdiction as fast as I can.

Silk.

Oh, Harms, you think I want to put
a watermelon in my bed?

Yeah, sure.