03x07 - Juggle, Juggle, Penn's in Trouble

[bunniefuu]

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- From the Penn & Teller Theater
in Las Vegas, Nevada,

here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Hi.
Wow.

Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

Welcome to "Penn & Teller:
Fool Us."

Normally on this show,

magicians try to pull one over
on Penn and Teller.

But those guys are so hard
to fool that tonight,

we're gonna switch things up,

and the magicians
are gonna try to fool me.

What?

Wha--oh.

Turns out that was just a joke.

Okay.

All right, let's go back
to the original format

and bring out the men
of the hour, Penn and Teller!

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

Whoo!

[cheers and applause]

Penn and Teller!

Whoo!

Remember, anyone
who fools Penn and Teller

wins an all-expense-paid trip

to Las Vegas to perform
with our headliners

in their famous magic show.

So let's meet our first
potential fooler.

- I'm Vitaly Beckman.

I'm an illusionist.

♪ ♪

I was born in the Soviet Union.

Everybody was admiring
culture and art,

and I always looked
at magic as an art form.

Magic is very old.

They say that, in the Pyramids,

there are paintings
of somebodies

doing the cups and ba*ls.

I used to paint as a kid.

My act is about
bringing art to life.

Sometimes I'm being
inspired from nature,

like leaves falling off
a tree--as simple as that.

I think that--not only
that magic can be art.

I think that art is magic.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Vitaly Beckman.

[cheers and applause]

- Thank you.

My name is Vitaly,

and although that name
sounds Italian,

I was actually born
in Soviet Union.

And since I speak English,

but talk Russian,

I sound like Borat.

[laughter]

And I look like Seinfeld.

[laughter]

But hey,
speaking of celebrities,

Alyson, would you help me out?

- Oh, sure.

- Let's hear it
for Alyson Hannigan.

- Aw.
[cheers and applause]

- Thank you very much, Alyson.
- Oh, my pleasure.

- Alyson, we haven't
prearranged anything, right?

- No.
- Good, because I've got here

a deck of playing cards.

I'll ask you to hold on
to the box for me.

Thank you.
And they're all different.

And you know how
a lot of times,

a magician
would have you select

a card--
usually like so, right?

- Yes.
- We're gonna try

something different.

I'll ask you to look at me.

Stand facing the audience,
this way.

I'm gonna hold the cards
like this.

- Ooh.
- Okay, now you're going

to say stop anytime,

as I'm gonna go through
the cards one by one, okay?

- Okay.
- Now remember,

they're all different,

so I don't care
which one you stop me at.

- Stop.
- Right here?

- Yes.
- Or do you want me

to go a few more.
It's up to you.

- No.
- Right here, yes?

- Yeah.

- Okay, could you
remember this card?

- Yes.
- You remember it?

- Yes.
- Okay, don't forget it,

because I'm gonna lose it
in the deck.

So make sure that you
do not forget it.

I'll take the box back.

Okay, we're gonna place it
in the box,

and I'll ask you to hold on
to it like this, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Now, you know,
since I was a kid,

I was trying to guess
people's playing cards--

before I even got into magic.

And I've got a picture
to show you,

when I was about three,
four years old,

with a playing card in my hand.

Now, wouldn't it be amazing

if that card would be the one
you're thinking of now.

- Yeah.
- Right?

Well, here's
my family photo album,

and here is me as a kid.

- Ohh.
audience: Aww.

- I was very small.

[laughter]

In Russia,
cards are very big.

[laughter]

Alyson.

- Yeah?
- Is that--

you look disappointed.

Is that the card?

- No, but you're
really cute.

[laughter]

- I am, huh?

- Yeah.
- So it's not the--no,

but you're serious?
It's not the card?

- It's not.
- You know, I wasn't into magic.

I was very small.
But when I was eight years old,

my parents,
they bought me a magic set,

and I did my first card trick.
Is that the one?

- Ah, still no,
but very cute.

- So you like
my cuteness,

but it's not the card.

- Right.
- Okay, but you know what?

I got better
a few years later.

I became bigger too.

I started to travel.

Here I am in Paris.

- Oh!
- Jack of clubs.

- Oh.
- Alyson?

No?
- No.

- I've got a lot
more photographs here.

- 52?

- Yeah, I traveled
to 52 places.

- Great.

[laughter]

Get comfortable.

[laughter]

- We have time, right?

Alyson, okay, for
the first time,

what card you're thinking of?
Tell us.

- Eight of clubs.
- Eight of clubs?

- Yes.
- Okay, since I got better

with the years,

I'm gonna show you
a recent photo.

You see, on my way to the show,
I stopped over in London,

and I took a picture
for all of you here tonight.

It's the last photo here,

of me in London
with the eight of clubs.

- Huh.
- There was a lot of traffic.

- Right.
- You--do you see me, Alyson?

- No, I don't.
- You don't, huh?

- I don't.
- And the card--

you don't see
eight of clubs?

- Uh, not--no.
- No?

- I'm sorry.
- Alyson, let's have a look

at it a little closer.

- Okay.

[horns honking,
brakes squealing]

- Did you hear that?
- I heard that.

- Listen one more time.

[horns honking,
brakes squealing]

[engine turns over]

[engine rumbling]

[brakes squealing]

[engine rumbling
cuts off abruptly]

- That is so cool.
[cheers and applause]

- Thank you.

Actually,
you know what, Alyson?

Let me take this out
for you.

I want you to see this up close.
So have a look, Alyson.

- What?
- Is this a regular photograph?

- Yes.
- Yes?

- Yes. That is so cool.
- And--thank you very much.

You can keep this
as a souvenir.

Big hand to Alyson,
everybody.

- Oh, thank you!
[cheers and applause]

Vitaly Beckman, everybody.

- Thank you guys.
- That is so cute.

- Thank you.
[cheers and applause]

- Wow.

That is just so incredible.

And you came up
with that yourself.

- Yes, I actually invent
all of the illusions

that I do in my shows,
and this one I developed

about six, seven years ago.

And I actually do

a lot of different things
with photographs.

That was just one.

I make people disappear
from their photograph,

appear in
another picture.

At one show,
I had people

bring their home photographs
to the show,

and I removed them
from their own photographs.

- That could be very useful
when you, you know,

have a great photo of you

and your friends
and, like, an ex-boyfriend,

and you're like, "Ugh,
I wish he weren't in the photo."

You could just
magically disappear him.

- I could.
- Do you think you have

a shot at fooling them?

- Well, to be honest,
I don't know.

- All right,

but let's check in
with Penn

and Teller and see
if you did fool them.

- All right, let's see. Let's--
- All right, boys.

- Ah, Vitaly,
it's so good--so good

to see an act
that has animation in it--

animation
where things move,

and you see them,
and then it's not an iPad.

It's not a screen.

There's something so magical--
you know, 30 years ago,

if you did a trick
and had a flat screen

where something moved,

that'd be the most magical thing
you could've seen.

Now, in the 21st century,
the most magical thing

you can do is pull out
a good old printed picture

and show that to people
as a miracle.

I want to praise you on that.

- Thank you.
- And I want to also--

where'd you say you were from?
- I was born in Russia.

- And how much do you know
about baseball?

- Not much.

- Well, you know
that there's the--

- I know they spit.
- What's that?

They spit. They spit,
and they throw a ball around.

- They're not gonna spit on you.
I'm pretty sure.

- And you also might know that
there's not just one out.

There's not just two out,
but there's multiple outs.

Did you know
that about baseball?

- Right. I think you're trying
to give me a code

with multiple outs.
- Yeah.

- And that's not true.
- That's not true?

- No.
- Oh.

- There's no multiple outs.
- No.

- Oh, oh.
- Only one way it can go.

- Yes.

- And there's no, uh,
limited--and

there--could she have really
picked any one of 52 cards?

- Well, she--did you have
a free choice?

- Yes.

- So I want to say,
if we can't welcome you

by saying baseball
has multiple outs,

we can welcome you to America

by saying you fooled
Penn and Teller.

- Oh!
[cheers and applause]

Congratulations!
Oh, you did it.

Oh, congrats.

- Thank you, Teller.

- Vitaly Beckman
fooled Penn and Teller!

[cheers and applause]

Oh, congratulations.

- Thank you again.
Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

- Penn and Teller
have been fooled!

Let's see if it can
happen again when we come back.

[cheers and applause]

[jazz music]

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome back to "Fool Us."

We've had one act fool Penn
and Teller

and earn a trip back
to Las Vegas.

Let's see if we've got
another fooler in the house.

- My name is Simon Coronel.

I'm from Melbourne, Australia,

and I'm a magician/illusionist
/engineer/polymath.

My childhood hero was MacGyver.

MacGyver's superpower
has using human ingenuity

to do things
that looked impossible.

I was 18, doing a degree
in psychology

and software engineering,

and I saw a magician
showing a card trick.

I was mind blown.
And you know,

the scientist and engineer
in me was just like,

"I want to understand.
I want to work this out."

One time, I was working
on a trick--

I literally started,
like, doing the algebra.

And then it actually
worked for the trick.

The art of magic and illusion

is the most fascinating thing
I've ever studied in my life.

[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome Simon Coronel.

[cheers and applause]

- G'day.

So I like to lean into the fact

that this stuff is done
through slight of hand

and misdirection
and human ingenuity.

To me, that's so much
more of an amazing thing

to share than the pretense
of magical powers.

Let me give you an example.

I'm gonna create the illusion
for you tonight

of these poker chips traveling,

apparently impossibly,
from one hand--my

right hand--over
to my left hand,

one at a time.

Doesn't seem like a big deal,
but if there was a way

to do that without
you seeing them go across,

that would be something
to write home about.

So here we go--one at a time,
from hand A to hand B.

Okay, I should explain,
before we do this,

that it happens when you're not
actually expecting it to.

audience: Ooh.

[applause]

Now, the reason
that's possible is

because even if
you're focusing really,

really closely on the chips,

you can't split your attention

and look
at what my wrists are doing

or what's happening down
on my elbows or up on my face.

You get distracted for just
a second and miss the moment,

as it apparently goes across.
audience: Ooh.

[cheers and applause]

Okay, third time's the charm.

See, now that
you've seen this twice,

your pattern recognition's
kicking in.

You're exponentially
harder to catch with it.

So most of you will probably
actually see it this time.

Here we go--third chip.

[sighs deeply]

No pressure.

[laughter]
I mean, I said you'd see it.

I wasn't lying.

Okay, all right, that sucks.

I'm sorry.
Let's try it again.

Yeah, see, it's true.

If I had just done
the same thing a third time,

you would've caught it.

I had to change the moment
for it to work.

Final chip for realsies
this time.

Let's see--yeah, it's a word.
It's part of the vernacular.

The thing is,
though--the problem is,

you guys are now basically
the most attentive

I think you might have been
all day, at this point,

and there is no force on Earth

that is gonna make you look away
from that poker chip.

So I have to do something
different and more elaborate:

hide it

so that even though
you know where it is,

you can't be 100%
certain anymore;

change the position to try and
confuse your motion tracking;

even bluff as to where
it actually gets to,

and make it
completely disappear.

- Oh!

- Okay, no, really,
make it completely disappear

but it still traveled
back to the hand.

[cheers and applause]
- Wow.

Simon Coronel,

that was amazing.

Ah, that was fantastic.

Oh, my goodness. Okay.
- That seemed to go okay.

I was pretty happy about that.
It felt good.

- Look--look at Teller's face.
- He seems happy, I think.

I'm glad.
- I know. That's so cool.

Yeah, so were you just lying
to us the whole time?

- I mean, everything
I said was true,

but a lot of it was misleading.

- Oh. It's--

- Which is--again, I mean,
one of the things--like,

for me, I want to be able
to tell as much of the truth

as you can--truth as you can.

- Mm-hmm.
- To me, it's frustrating

that you have to lie
about anything of it at all.

- Right.
- But you do have to, sadly,

to create the illusion.

Otherwise,
there wouldn't be any.

- Right.
So was magic your first love?

- Not at all.

Like, it used to be I wanted
to program video games.

That was actually my career
dream when I was in high school.

And so all that
math and science,

it's amazing
how applicable it is

when you're designing and
innovating with new illusions

and trying to find ways
to do it better.

- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.

- Let's check in
with Penn and Teller.

- Cool.

- Boys?

- In comedy and in--
and in magic,

I love it when you use the truth
to get where you're going.

I love hanging this
on misdirection,

hanging this on us
looking at it,

doing the whole thing
right out there in the front.

I love that you're doing it
with chips instead of coins.

There's something that
the audience may not think about

because they may not know
as much as we know,

but coins are all
the same color,

and chips are not,

and that makes this much,

much harder and much,
much cooler.

And I love the fact that it's
right out there in our face,

and I love your timing,

and I love the fact that,

at certain times,

you're really telling the truth.

We are familiar with Free Fly,

and it is a version of that.

No, that's not right.
It's not a version of that.

It's the best version of that.

It's really wonderful.

[cheers and applause]

- So they love you,
and they said

you were the best at Free Fly,
but is that--

- We know what that is.

- You know what that is.
- Uh, yeah.

- So does that mean that
they know how you did--

- Oh yeah, they know.

- Aw.
- Yeah, that's okay.

- But so good!
- Thank you.

- But it was really good.
[cheers and applause]

Well, thank you so much.

- Thank you.
- Simon Coronel.

- Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

- We'll be back in a minute,

but I secretly think
we could be quicker.

Time us.
We'll be right back.

[cheers and applause]

[jazz music]

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome back to
"Penn & Teller: Fool Us."

Let's find out a little
about our next fooler.

- Howdy, I'm Mac King.

I'm a magician, comedian,
Las Vegan--

probably the king
of Las Vegas, really.

I have a magic show
at Harrah's Las Vegas,

for the past 16 years--
way more than Penn

and Teller have been at the Rio.

I was on the show last year.
Guinea pig.

Last year, I said,

"If you fool Teller,
you've fooled Penn and Teller."

- He should not say, "All
you have to do is fool Teller,"

'cause this juggler

is gonna bust
your Kentucky butt right now.

- So this year, I thought, "Ah,

you know, what can I say
to insult Teller?"

His slight of hand

is only matched
by his slight of stature.

That's--that's
just kind of a lame joke.

I can't think of anything mean
to say about Teller.

He's so sweet and nice.

So I'm gonna have to think
of some insult for Penn again.

[cheers and applause]

- Our next performer didn't fool
Penn and Teller last season,

but he did manage
to tick them off.

Please welcome
the always-likable Mac King.

[cheers and applause]

- Howdy.
- Howdy.

- Hey, I am Mac King,

and I guess, since I'm up here
in my new suit,

we ought to get this show
on the road.

I know this scares you.
I'm not doing that tonight.

I know it would fool you,

but--Alyson, come on over.
Come on over.

Step right over here
on this side.

Thanks for coming.

- Sure.
- Come this way,

just a little bit--yeah,
right up next to the suit.

- Oh, all right.
- You and I, Alyson,

and that piece of rope

are going to do one of Houdini's
most famous tricks.

Yeah, this is called
the Houdini Challenge

Naked Rope Escape.

- I just have to make
a couple calls.

- No, I just--
this is good--

the Houdini Challenge
Naked Rope Escape.

I want you to take off
your clothes and tie me up.

[laughter]

I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.

- Maybe you should ask Teller.
- Yeah, all right, Teller.

No, we're gonna use--
if you put up with that,

you get a big
goblet of vodka.

Hold that with one hand,
if you would, Alyson.

Just like that--that's perfect.
If you hold it like that,

everybody can see
the water part really good.

Don't drink that.

So Alyson,
when you were a little girl,

did you ever go fishing?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

My grandpa used
to take me fishing,

when I was a little girl.

He said, in order to catch fish,
you have to have three things.

You have to have
the proper fishing pole.

This is my grandpa's
original fishing pole.

- Aw.
- I know.

You have to have a place to put
the fish once you catch 'em.

That's what you're holding.
I'm gonna catch a fish,

and I'm gonna drop him right
in that glass of water.

The third thing that you have
to have to catch fish is,

of course,
the proper bait...

the Fig Newton.

Yeah, you bust off
about a third of a cookie.

That's all it takes--nice long,
squishy, skinny piece.

You roll that squishy,

skinny piece of squishy
Fig Newton up on the hook.

Just roll it and squish it
on there. It'll stay.

And with cookie as bait,
you can fish anywhere you want.

- All right.
- You and I are fishing

out here in midair,

but we're not looking
for any fish.

We're catching goldfish.

There's a goldfish right
in front of Teller's head.

See if I can snag that out of
the--oh, I got him!

Oh, yeah.
He is a fighter.

Hold that glass
over here, Alyson.

- Okay, okay.
- And check him out.

- Aww.

[cheers and applause]

Hi, buddy.

That's so cool.

Oh my gosh.

- That's a dang
real fish.

- Yeah, it is.

[laughter]

- Alyson, do you know
the rule here on "Fool Us?"

- Uh...

- Rule is, whatever you catch...
- Oh, please don't.

Oh, God.

- You gotta eat.
- Oh.

[audience groaning]

- No, he's still there.
He's still there.

He's just a little scared now.

- Yeah.

- That's why
the water's kind of cloudy.

- Me too.

[laughter]

- Hold that one just
like before--perfect.

Now, I can't show you how to
catch fish out of the air.

That's my grandpa's secret.

But I can show you
how to freak out your friends.

You need a carrot
and a carrot peeler.

- You're kidding.
- This is how I pretended

to eat a goldfish.
Here's what you do.

You peel off
a big strip of carrot

so it looks just
like a goldfish.

Yeah, then you got to use
your teeth for this.

- Okay.
- Don't worry. We'll use mine.

- Okay, good.
- Actually,

these used to be
my grandpa's too.

- Oh, he's a nice guy.
[laughter]

- Uh-huh,
he was a nice guy.

- Yeah.
- So you trim it up

using your rodent-like teeth,

so it's vaguely--
- Aww.

- Thank you--vaguely
goldfish-shaped.

Now, pretend like
that glass of water

is your friend's aquarium
and that there are

a whole bunch of goldfish
swimming around inside.

Here's what you do
to freak out your friends.

Hold the carrot sliver
behind your fingers.

Nobody knows that you have it.

When you're ready, you reach
down amongst your friend's fish

and pull out the carrot like
it's one of their goldfish.

You go, "Ooh,
I got your goldfish."

Don't say, "Ooh,
I got your carrot"--no good.

Keep him a-wiggling.

Before they
get a good look at it,

you pop it in your mouth.

- Ugh, okay.

- And they think
that you ate the fish.

- Ooh--ohh.
- Oh, Alyson.

- What?
- Hold the glass over here.

- Oh, God, no.

Ahh-ha--ugh.

[cheers and applause]

- Thank you very much
for your help.

- Mac King, everybody!

[cheers and applause]

Mac.

Oh, all right,

you traumatized me last time
you were on the show.

- Well, how bout this time?
- This time as well.

- That's my big goal.
- Ah, you're so--

- You should
be traumatized, Alyson.

- Yes.

- Screw "Penn and Teller:
Fool Us."

- Do pet stores even let you in
at this point?

- Do pet stores let--no,

I have to wear a disguise
to go into a pet store.

- I would imagine.
- Yeah, guinea pigs, fish, yeah.

- Ugh, yeah, he ate a guinea pig
last time he was on the show,

if anybody didn't see it.
It was terrifying.

- Yeah, that's all I do,
is eat small animals.

- Oh, anyway, you're amazing.

- Well, thank you very much.

- And even seeing it as
a carrot, it's still disturbing.

- Oh, yeah, thank you very much.
- Um, so--

- If I can disturb one woman,
that's a good show, really.

- Well, you've done your work.
I love it.

- No, keep touching me.

[laughter]

- Um.
- Keep deliberating, boys.

She's touching me.

- I'm just looking
for the-the-the guinea pig.

- Oh, it's a little lower.

- Uh.
[laughter]

All right.
Let's go to the guys.

- They look like
they're done talking.

- Oh, my goodness gracious.

You know, you've been in Vegas

almost as long as we have--
maybe a little longer.

- Maybe.
- I think that--

I may have said
this last time,

but I think one thing Teller

and I agree on is
that you are

the greatest comedy magician
working in the world today.

- Aww.
[cheers and applause]

- Full stop.

So since we said
that nice stuff about you,

will you pretend we knew
how the trick was done?

No, just--
[laughter]

you know,
you threw this rope out,

and you made that joke--which

everybody
thought was a joke--that

"You're relieved I didn't do
the rope trick."

And you know that every single
time you do the rope trick,

you fool Teller.

He's never caught you
once doing that.

If you had done this--

- Uh, yeah, I--
I do know that,

but it's not as interesting
as spitting a fish out.

- No, it's--
- And so I'm like,

"Well, should I come out
and try to fool 'em,

or should I come out
and try to delight them?"

And I was going with delight.

- Aw.
- And you certainly did.

It's the best version

that's ever been done
of aerial fishing,

and we absolutely love you,
Mac King, as a friend

and as the greatest
comedy magician

at least alive today,
maybe who ever lived.

- Wow, what a compliment.

You know, you didn't fool them,

but you definitely
delighted us all.

Thank you so much.

- Thanks--oh, thank you.
- Mac King!

- Mac King.
- I appreciate it, guys.

Thank you so much.
- Mac King!

- Thank you. Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, wait.
- We'll be back in a moment

with more incredible tricks,
free donuts,

and a performance
by Penn and Teller.

Two of those
three things are true.

We'll be right back.

[cheers and applause]

[jazz music]

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome back.

Let's find out if our next act

has what it takes
to fool Penn and Teller.

- I was born and raised
in California,

grew up a block and a half
from the beach.

The beach has given me a place
to let ideas connect.

Creating new magic,
it's a pretty intensive process.

I did my first paid magic show
when I was 11 years old.

It was for a five-year-old's
birthday party,

and I'm glad they booked it.
'Cause if they hadn't,

I probably wouldn't be
sitting here right now.

As I started doing more
mind-reading pieces, I realized,

if you have somebody think
about somebody in their life

who's important to them
and then can tell them

what that person's name is,

what that relationship is,
now you're entering their life.

I love seeing rational people

who cannot rationalize
what they just saw.

[cheers and applause]

- Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Kevin Viner.

[cheers and applause]

- Penn, Teller,
thank you so much

for inviting me to perform
in your wonderful theater.

It's a pleasure to be here.

And I brought
a couple things for you.

Penn, this'll be important
in a moment.

This is a ball of paper.

If you wouldn't mind
holding on to this, please.

- I will.
- Thank you so much.

- I wouldn't mind at all.
- And Tell, could I ask you

to stand for a moment?

I'd like you to sit on
this briefcase, if that's okay.

Well, I modified it
a little bit for his comfort.

So--yes?

I figure, if I'm going to try
to fool you on your own stage,

I should at least be polite.

So Teller, thank you so much.

If you would have
a seat--perfect.

So in a moment, one of you

will find yourself
on this stage with me.

We need to do a little process
of elimination--

if I could ask everybody
in the audience to please stand.

Okay, so we have a full house
tonight--too many choices.

Let's eliminate a few of you.

So only stay standing
if you're somebody

who knows your exact birthday.

That should be most of you.

But there's something
that most of you might not know,

and that's the exact time
that you were born.

So if you know the exact time,
to the minute,

that you were born,
stay standing.

Everyone else,
please have a seat.

So we eliminated about


Now, Penn and Teller, there's an
interesting cross section

of people remaining, right?

Because as you may know,
there are two types of people

who typically know
the exact time they were born.

There's your people
with amazing numerical recall.

We tend to think of them

as having higher-than-average
intelligence.

And then people
who need that time

to complete their
astrological charts,

in which case we think of them

as having
below-average intelligence.

So Penn, I'll let you
decide who's who,

but if you'd stand
for me, please.

Penn, make eye contact
with somebody in the audience.

Please get that paper ball
into their hands.

We will use whoever you select.

Miss, would you please
join me onstage?

Give her a big round
of applause.

Thank you so much.
What is your name?

- Gianni.
- Gianni, I'm Kevin.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

So, Gianni,
you caught the paper ball.

You didn't know that it would be
coming to you, right?

- I did not.

- If your birth date

is printed inside
this paper ball,

would that
blow you away?

- Absolutely.
- Okay, now,

I need you to
be honest with me.

Do you see it there?

- I do.
- Okay, I'd hope so.

That's a calendar.
That's a calendar.

Every date.

[cheers and applause]

Gianni, you knew the time
you were born.

- I do.

- And you know that
to the minute.

- I do, yes.
- What's the hour, first

of all--just the hour, Gianni?

- 1:00--1:00 p.m.

- 1:00--Gianni,

you were born
at one what?

- 35.
- 1:35.

Gianni, was this a.m. or p.m.?

- P.m.
- 1:35 p.m., Gianni,

you came into this world.

- Yes, I did.

- Would you hold on to that
for a moment?

- Yes.

- There's about
a 1 in 1500 chance

of throwing out
a random time--24 hours

in a day, 60 minutes
in an hour--and

getting that time exactly right.

Teller, you've been sitting on
that briefcase the entire time.

Would you please
bring it to me onstage?

Give Teller a big
round of applause.

[cheers and applause]

Teller, thank you
very much, yes.

[laughter]

If we open the briefcase,

can you describe
to everybody

what it is
that you see inside?

- Um, a navy bag.

- A navy bag with
a drawstring there, right?

- Yes.

Yes, sorry,
a drawstring bag.

- Gianni,
I brought you a gift--

a souvenir.

There's a saying you may have
heard--even a stopped clock

is right twice a day.

I sure hope this is
one of those times.

Reach inside.
Take out what's in there.

Yeah, grab that.
Pull it all the way out.

- Okay.
- Oh my goodness.

- This is a clock

set to exactly 1:35 p.m.

[cheers and applause]

Gianni, thank you.
- Thank you very much.

- Another round of applause
for Gianni.

- Thank you, thank you.

[cheers and applause]

- Penn, Teller,
a souvenir for you.

You may want to put
some batteries in it

if you'd like to use it.

Thank you both so much.

[cheers and applause]

- Kevin Viner, everyone.
That is fantastic.

- Thank you, thank you.

- Wow, and you're
letting them inspect it.

- Of course.
- So you're a mentalist.

Do I have to ask you questions,

or do you know
what I'm thinking?

- It depends.

I mean, I'm pretty good
at reading people.

It helps with women.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yes?

Does that mean you just are,
like, the perfect guy,

because you always, like,

"Oh, honey,
I see you need a foot rub,"

and you just--
you're there?

- Let's put it this way--yeah,
I mean, I'm the kind of guy

I can pick out the dresses

she wants before she knows
she's going to like them.

- Oh, ladies, come on.
- Sorry, I'm taken,

but there are more like me.
- That's fantastic.

All right, so
do you get, like,

weird requests
from audience members, or--

- I do. It's--when you do
this line of work,

you have people who ask,
you know,

"Can you--can you
contact people?"

And I--no, not at all.
No one can do that.

So I try and veer away from--

- Well, this time, we can
contact people.

We're gonna contact
Penn and Teller.

- Please.
- Oh, my goodness.

- Boys.
- Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

Oh, you certainly know
how to suck up to us.

Doing an
astrology-is-stupid joke

right at the top,
you've got us in your pocket.

- Good, thank you.
- We loved it right away.

I love how much
of this is clean.

I just love that you
had us select

somebody--absolutely
clean selection,

couldn't possibly be a plant.

We also love the fact
that we end up

with a cheap clock

with no battery in it,
completely clean.

You can look at this
till the cows come home,

and you can't find anything.

- Yes.
- So you are completely

clean on the plant.

You are completely
clean on the clock.

It's a wonderful way to do it.

You also found a way to do
a real miracle, which is,

you made Teller taller than me
for a short period of time.

- Yes it is.
[cheers and applause]

- But all of that being said,

in this case,

we have a remote idea
how you did it.

- Okay.

I will say that you got it.

- What?
A remote?

- So you get that?
- I get that.

I get that. They got it.

- I'm not gonna get it,
but he got it, so thanks, Kevin.

All right, thank you,
Kevin Viner!

- Thank you so much.
[cheers and applause]

Thank you.
- All right.

[cheers and applause]

Penn and Teller
get to clock out as judges

and clock in as entertainers,

when they perform
when we come back.

Don't miss it.

[cheers and applause]

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

- You know you love them.
I know I love them.

They know I love them.

So while I'm here
with my good friend Teller,

here's Penn.

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

- Goodness gracious!

[cheers and applause]

Oh, man, you know,

juggling fire always
gets a nice round of applause.

Some people think
it's beautiful--you know,

watch the torches move
through the air, and the sound.

Some think it's difficult,
somehow more difficult,

to juggle items that are ablaze.

And still others think
it is dangerous.

Whatever you're thinking--
whatever you're thinking,

you're all hoping
the same thing.

You're all hoping
that I'm gonna have

an accident--a really bad one.

And I am--the worst
accident possible

when juggling torches.

I'm gonna catch one
of the torches on the wrong

end--that is to say,
the end that is on fire.

The worst accident possible
when juggling torches

is about to happen right now.

Oh no, fire! Fire!

Run, run! Fire!

Save yourselves! Fire! Fire!

Oh, no, fire! Fire!

Fire!

[fire extinguisher hisses]

The worst accident possible

when juggling
torches--I slightly

soiled my right hand
with carbon.

I also showed
my uncompromising commitment

to the First Amendment

to the Constitution
of the United States

of American by being
willing to yell, "Fire!"

in a crowded theater.

[cheers and applause]

Congress shall make no law!

[cheers and applause]

Now, since Penn and Teller

are kind of into
that debunking thing,

I thought I'd explain to you
how I was able

to have the worst
accident possible

when juggling torches and
come out virtually unscathed.

What I did was, when I caught
the torch on the wrong end,

I let go of it
almost right away.

Now, I can't brag on myself
too much for this.

It's a trait that I may share
with many of you.

Even a cursory look at strict
Darwinism would tell you

that we needn't wade
through a savannah somewhere

in northern Africa


for this particular trait
to be selected for.

When you're dealing
with carbon-based life forms--

that is to say, organic life--

even at your earliest
multicellular level,

those organisms
that grab onto fire

and don't let go just aren't
gonna jump into the gene pool

with the same
gusto of our real ancestors.

So that kind of covers
the dangerous part of it.

Now, as far as
the difficult part,

these torches were
designed to be juggled.

They were not designed to
harass Frankenstein's monster.

But before Teller and I
had all the money necessary

to bribe all the officials
necessary

to be able to use open,

unsupervised flame
in a theater with,

in my opinion, too few exits,

we used to play places
that had a bar

right there in the room with us.

And I would just
grab three bottles

off the speed rack
and do a routine with those.

Now, these bottles were not
designed to be juggled.

These bottles were
designed to hold liquor

in an attractive manner,

unlike some of you.

I want you to contrast the way

these bottles move
through the air

with the way the torches move.

I don't know
if you can tell this,

but they move much faster,

and it's a less even turn.

And although each of
the bottles moves

differently from the torches,

they also move very
differently from one another,

because they're
different brands,

even though we've taken
the labels

off them here for legal reasons.

But even though
it's much more difficult

to juggle the bottles
than the torches,

it gets no reaction whatsoever.

That's because

it's essentially
intellectual and not visceral.

But that covers difficult.

And this...

[glass shatters]

Is beautiful.

Look at that, huh?

Just fractal minus zero,
no limits.

See that little thing
sticking up there?

See that, Alyson,
Satan's little howdy-do?

Is that talking to you?

- Uhh, yeah.
- It's talking to me.

- Mm-hmm.
- How 'bout right in your eye?

Now, they all break
very different,

because there's no way to
predict how they're gonna break.

It's a nonlinear--

[glass shatters]
Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You know,
I'm not that different from you.

When I'm holding
a broken bottle in my hand,

I have the same thought
in my head that you'd have,

and that is, "Man,

I wish Clay Aiken
were here."

[growls, audience laughs]

Now, these square ones--I don't
like to use these square ones,

'cause they break
so erratically,

but let me just give it a try.

[glass shatters]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Look at that.
[inhales deeply]

Now, you all know--
there's no secret

to this--I'm gonna juggle these.
That's the punch line.

But I do want to say ahead
of time that I do sometimes,

you know,
get injured during this.

But it's only a slight cut.
It's not like, you know,

Roy getting his head bit off
by a tiger, you know?

It's not--they're not gonna be
on, like, CNN talking about it.

You know, it's--but it's a cut
that will--and

I also want to say, you know,
we do have a lot of children

that watch this show.

And I got to say--
and the children,

I don't think you're stupid.

I don't think you're--
I know you know this,

but I got to say this,

because parents watching
with you want me to say it.

And that's to say,
the stuff we do on this show

is very dangerous.

You shouldn't try any of it.

I don't even know
what I mean by that.

I guess I mean, "Kids,
when you're at the bar,

"don't grab three bottles,
smash 'em,

"and try to juggle 'em--

"not unless there's
a lot of money riding on it

"or it's a double-dog dare,

"which you must not
turn down ever,

unless you're a chicken."

Also, you might notice that,

because we're a television show,

there's no--there's no obscenity
in the show at all.

And I--I just want to say,
from experience that,

if I'm injured,

that whole no-obscenity thing--
right out the window.

As a matter of fact, if I'm cut
even slightly tonight,

I'm going to take you
all on a scatological

sexual white-knuckle ride
through the Old Testament.

I'll be covering the violent
nonconsensual sex acts

of Deuteronomy 14-27

and detailing those acts
in the graphic street language

of the late
but still great Tupac Shakur.

So just--that's only--that's

only--I'm gonna step
behind here.

So this protects--
little pieces of glass

will still fly off
as I'm doing this,

and this stop stem
from bouncing off

and running out
and hitting a cameraman.

But they do bounce off
and come straight in my face

for your entertainment pleasure.

Now, what you're watching here
is a physical improvisation.

I've obviously never juggled
these exact bottles before,

so I have to get a feel for 'em.

I'm learning the trick right in
front of you, is what I'm doing.

And--there we go--getting
a sense of each of these,

so I can--I can juggle them.

And I want to get a--

Whoa!

Oh, man.

Whoa, you know,
I want to talk to you

about what kind of actor
I am, Alyson,

because every night,
I take the third bottle,

throw it in the air,
and I go, like, "Whoa!"

and try to pretend
it's a hard bottle,

bring a little bit of drama
into a predictable piece.

But tonight, it really
is a hard bottle.

[laughter]

But you'll be able to tell this
is a hard bottle by the fact

this is probably
a little briefer

than you think it should be.

Man, yeah,
this could be the night

that I--you could hear
a lot of swearing

coming up real soon.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

That's it!

Beautiful, difficult,
and...

[glass shatters]
Dangerous.

[cheers and applause]

- You're good?
Oh, all right.

Thanks for watching.

Join us again next week,
here in Las Vegas,

with a new batch of magicians

and, of course,
Penn and Teller.

Good night!

[cheers and applause]