[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[BURBLING]
-[BIRDS CHIRPING]
-[INSECTS TRILLING]
[RUMBLING]
[ANIMAL SCREECHING]
[HEAVY THUDDING]
[ANIMALS SCREECHING]
[FLAMES CRACKLING]
[WHOOSHING]
[expl*si*n BOOMING]
[WIND HOWLING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[RUSTLING NEARBY]
[PANTING]
[GRUNTING]
[TREE CREAKING]
WORKERS: Timber!
-[CHATTERING, LAUGHING]
-[DOGS BARKING]
That's a deep hole.
WORKMAN: And getting deeper.
Why are you digging it?
We're building a house.
Down there?
[LAUGHTER]
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
[STRAINING]
REAL ESTATE AGENT:
I don't know, Richard.
That back porch window just
doesn't want to stay closed.
Even had my husband
sand down where it's warped.
[CHUCKLING] Even though
nobody seems to care,
a million dollars
is a steal these days.
-Hmm.
-Here are the keys.
Please remember
to put them in the lockbox
-when you're finished.
-Look, we won't be long.
20, 30 minutes, tops.
And thank you
for arranging this.
-It means a lot.
-[DOOR OPENS]
-My pleasure, Richard.
-[DOOR CLOSES]
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[RAIN FALLING]
[DOOR OPENS]
REAL ESTATE AGENT 2:
You truly won't find
a more perfect house.
There's a full basement
where we have
an ultramodern
central heating furnace
with copper pipes,
an oil burner.
No more of that coal stoking.
-[CHUCKLES]
-[SNIFFING]
Uh, it's only been
on the market 18 days.
It won't last long.
The house was originally built
in 1900, Mr. and Mrs. Young.
A half colonial.
It is as sturdy as an old tree.
So, as you can see,
Mr. and Mrs. Young...
[SHOUTS]
Al and Rose is fine!
Al lost the hearing
in his left ear
when a shell exploded
right next to him.
The doctors say
it will eventually clear up.
Oh, that's fortunate.
He also has b*mb fragments
lodged in his hip.
He'll have to carry that around
for the rest of his life.
My husband went missing at sea.
-Oh.
-At Midway.
Three years in June now.
I've heard of people
having the doorbell ring
and their husband
is standing right there.
Al was in
the Battle of Saint-Lo.
11,000 casualties in two weeks.
For crying out loud, Rose,
what does any of this
have to do with
the price of tea in China?
China!
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[CLEARS THROAT]
The house is 1,800 square feet
with enough lot to add on
if you grow.
[STAMMERS]
There's a dining room.
Yeah, custom kitchen cabinets,
a breakfast nook,
a lovely back porch,
which can always be converted
into a spare guest room.
Upstairs, four large bedrooms,
bathrooms, one with a shower,
a powder room
and large closets.
The kitchen appliances
come with the house.
A four-burner Norge range,
complete with a built-in
electric clock and timer.
I don't like it much at all.
It's like a shoebox.
I can't imagine anyone
living here.
Not much of a view
for what you're asking.
If I may.
Of all my listings,
this property is by far
the closest
to the new grade school.
And it's less than a mile
from the new aerodrome
they're going to build.
Could come in handy
in the future.
-The future?
-That's right, Pauline.
It's the only direction
we're headed.
And it's happening
right now, right here.
John, is living
near an aerodrome
really that important to you?
It is, Pauline. It truly is.
It's the future.
["CONCERTO FOR CLARINET"
BY ARTIE SHAW PLAYING]
Well, I guess I'll get
used to that monstrosity
-across the street.
-Darling, you are a peach.
-You're an absolute peach.
-[CHUCKLES]
[VACUUM WHIRRING]
-So, they're asking 3,400.
-[CONCERTO FADES]
[MOUTHING]
That's a very good price.
I have two more couples
who are coming just today.
One is a colonel, I understand.
Married an Italian woman.
She doesn't speak a word
of English. [CHUCKLES]
Has a lovely smile.
Why don't I give you a moment
to talk it over?
3,400?
Gee whillikers, Rose, no.
We agreed we couldn't pay
more than 3,000,
even with my dad's money.
I'm pregnant.
You're what?
I'm pregnant!
-You are?
-Yes.
-Really?
-Three months.
Any thoughts?
The price is right in line
with the G.I. Bill guarantee.
-We'll take it.
-[LAUGHS] Yes!
-We'll take it! Yes, we will.
-["SLEIGH RIDE" PLAYING]
Ricky, it's your first
Christmas.
-Yes! Get you here.
-AL: Okay.
ROSE: Oh, look at him.
He's such a perfect angel.
-AL: Ricky, smile.
-ROSE: Oh, Ricky... [MUMBLES]
-AL: Ready and... smile.
-[ROSE GASPS]
-[TOY g*n POPPING]
-Okay, calm down, Ricky.
Ricky? Ricky, sit down.
-Sit. Over here.
-[ROSE GASPING]
-Ricky. Ricky.
-ROSE: Yes.
Okay, we get it. You can jump.
-Ricky. Quit jumping.
-ROSE: Ricky, sit down, honey.
-AL: Sit down next to your...
-[BABY CRYING]
-Sit down next to your sister.
-We're gonna take a picture.
-It's all right. Sit down.
-Ricky! Ricky, sit down!
-Smile. Smile.
-g*dd*mn it, Ricky, sit down!
-[BABY YELLS]
-ROSE: Oh, my God!
Okay, Ricky Ricardo,
time to give it a rest.
-[CLAMOROUS DRUMMING]
-Yeah, that... it's...
really loud for Daddy's head.
-Ricky, listen to me.
-ROSE: Look, Jimmy, look.
AL: Rick... Ricky!
Ricky, stop it, g*dd*mn it!
Look, Jimmy, look!
Yeah, and I think Santa's lost
his g*dd*mn mind.
Those drums
are from your mother.
Well, they're going
in the garage.
Jimmy, Elizabeth,
I'm warning you two.
-[JIMMY AND ELIZABETH LAUGHING]
-Get ready for bed, please.
Elizabeth,
take your brother upstairs.
Now.
-Thank you.
-ELIZABETH: Come on.
I met the couple who moved
into the new house, honey.
Oh, honey,
don't close the drapes.
I hate it.
It looks like a funeral parlor.
Ted and Virginia.
Yeah? What are they like?
Well, she's gonna have a baby.
-What are they like?
-Um...
Well, they like to laugh.
They're so, I don't know,
filled with life.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
How long they been married?
-Stop it.
-[AL CHUCKLES]
-Ricky, sweetheart, 20 minutes.
-I'm just playing.
That's it, all right?
And put this stuff away.
[RICKY MIMICKING g*nf*re]
Elizabeth! Jimmy!
That's a hell of a battle
you got going there.
Who's winning?
The Americans just shot
all the Krauts.
Good.
Did you ever sh**t anybody?
Come again?
In the w*r--
Did you sh**t anybody?
It's hard to know.
Everything happens so fast,
it's just a blur.
You never really see the enemy,
just the flash of a helmet.
Guy next to me, Carl Bolton,
from Wesley, Ohio...
he had two different
color eyes-- One...
one brown, one blue.
Two-tone.
Called him Two-tone.
Saw him get his jaw blown off.
What did you do?
What? Do?
After that guy got his jaw
shot off, what'd you do?
I don't want to talk about it.
[BELL CLANGING]
[FAINT, URGENT CHATTER]
[HORSE NEIGHS]
[CHATTER CONTINUES]
[INSECTS TRILLING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[GASPS SOFTLY,
SPEAKS INDIGENOUS LANGUAGE]
[CHUCKLING]
They should arrive
within a fortnight.
And to be perfectly honest,
I dread it.
Oh, William, your own father,
your own son.
-Please.
-I... I know.
I'm just nervous
to see little Billy.
He's 13 now.
It's been years
since we were last together.
You know, he might as well
be my father's son.
Your father is certainly
a presence,
but you are an important man
in your own right.
My father thinks
he can overthrow the Crown.
And this treasonous rabble
that follows him
has no idea what a crackpot
the old man is!
Flying a kite,
naked but for his nightgown,
in the middle
of a lightning storm, no less.
Promise me that you will not
discuss politics
with your father.
I so dislike arguments.
Well, I'm afraid
my father and I are on
entirely different sides now.
Breaks my heart
to read his letters.
My own father is becoming
a t*rror1st.
You redcoat b*stard!
-[THUD]
-WILLIAM: What in the...
-[LAUGHS] I took his hat off!
-The indignity!
-[BABBLING MOCKINGLY]
-You ruffians!
You ought to be
put in the stocks!
-You filthy rebel scoundrels!
-[GASPING]
-Oh, my.
-Oh, oh, Elizabeth.
Oh, what is this world
coming to?
HELEN: I wonder how old it is.
DEVON:
It's over 200 years old.
Some famous colonial guy
lived there.
Really? Who told you that?
-Dave, our next-door neighbor.
-Dave?
Yeah, the one
with the perfect lawn.
Little welcome gift from Dave.
Oh, how nice.
Have you seen Justin?
I need help
with these heavy boxes.
Yeah, he's out back. Justin!
Come help your mother
with these boxes.
Hold on, you packed
that ratty thing?
Of course I did.
-Buck's a family heirloom.
-Uh-huh.
Well, you can hang that
ugly heirloom in the garage.
She called you ugly, Buck.
You know what is ugly,
is these damn walls.
What'd they do,
paint it with vomit?
You're so romantic.
-Isn't he romantic, Raquel?
-[CHUCKLES] He sure is.
-It was an itsy-bitsy
-[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
Teeny-weeny
Yellow polka-dot bikini
That she wore
For the first time today
An itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny
Yellow polka-dot bikini
-So in...
-[RECORD SCRATCHES, SONG STOPS]
-[CHILDREN CLAMORING]
-My chair!
-Jimmy!
-[CRYING]
Why did you knock Susie
off her chair?
I'm just playing the game, Mom.
No, you're not.
-You have to play nicely.
-[SONG RESUMES]
Now, go to your room.
Did you hear me?
-Yellow polka-dot bikini...
-[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
I said go to your room.
Thank you.
For the first time today
An itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny
Yellow polka-dot bikini
So in the locker
She wanted to stay
["CAN YOU TAKE IT?"
BY FLETCHER HENDERSON PLAYING]
[GRUNTING, PANTING]
STELLA:
Everything okay in there?
Yeah, I just...
I can't get enough
smooth action
on this damn footrest.
Oh, you'll figure it out,
honey.
You always do.
-Here's your lunch.
-[SIGHS]
-Thanks, doll.
-[DOG BARKING]
Huh.
Every day, the mailman comes,
the dog barks,
the mailman goes away.
The dog thinks
he has protected us
once again from an intruder.
It's a symbiotic relationship.
-It's a little ritual they do.
-Aw.
-A little performance.
-A little like us.
Oh, how do you mean?
I mean I make you
a Spam sandwich
and you sit
in your Relaxer chair.
Exactly.
Only now, I'm calling it
my Relax-E-Boy chair.
-Oh.
-Mm.
Isn't Relaxer chair
too on the nose?
-Mm...
-I feel like,
by calling it a boy,
it gives it
a fun, youthful feel.
God knows we got to appeal
to that youth market.
Relax-E-Boy. I like that.
You are so clever.
Relax-E-Boy. Relax-E-Boy.
Relax-E-Boy chair.
Relax.
Relax-E-Boy.
What you need is
a Relax-E-Boy chair.
The milk's here.
For some reason,
he always leaves it
at the bottom of the steps.
And his horse shits
right next to it.
[CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY]
What do you think?
Just shipped in from London--
Alfred Dunhill.
-What time will you be home?
-Oh, let me see.
Uh, 450-mile round trip
to Schenectady
at 110 miles per hour,
plus two fuel stops.
I'll be home before
you can say "Schenectady."
-Good Lord.
-The sky's the limit, Pauline.
John, you mortgaged our house
to buy that
ridiculous airplane.
Our home.
Just come up with me
for a ride-- One ride.
-You'll love it. Trust me.
-Not on your life.
I tremble every time
you get in that contraption.
Every week, I read in the news
that an airplane has crashed.
You know why?
Poor fuel management.
Most planes crash
because they run out of gas.
Fuel management
is the key to safe flying.
And regular engine maintenance.
Proper fuel management
and regular engine maintenance
are the keys to safe flying.
And the weather.
Proper fuel management,
regular engine maintenance
and staying out
of thunderstorms.
That's all it takes.
Aviation is the future,
Pauline.
Your head
is in the clouds, John.
I knew you were
going to say that.
AL: How do you know
what I was gonna say?
Well, I'm done with
this bullshit conversation.
Christ almighty,
what is the world coming to?
What was that all about?
g*dd*mn Bill, he calls me
long-distance from Pittsburgh
to brag about
all the sales he's made.
It's late, Al.
-We should go to bed.
-g*dd*mn Pittsburgh.
How come he's at
the trade show, huh?
No, really, I... I've been
at the company longer.
I've been...
I've been passed over, Rose.
I've been passed over.
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
No, he's right. He's right.
I never succeeded in anything
unless you count
staying alive in the w*r,
and then I just got lucky.
Oh, we both got lucky
that we found one another.
Ricky, don't forget
to turn out the lights.
Al, it's so late.
Let's go to bed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a minute.
What are you always drawing?
-Whatever I see.
-Let me see.
Well, what do you know?
The living room.
That'll bring a pretty penny.
g*dd*mn Bill.
Hey, how... how many towns
can you name in Pennsylvania,
besides Pittsburgh?
Uh, not too many.
Philadelphia.
I don't know. Allen-something.
"Allen-something."
-Allentown.
-Mm.
Hard to remember.
I could tell you every town
along the turnpike.
Grove City, Clarion,
DuBois, Bellefonte...
Lock Haven.
Each one has a hotel, and if
you know your way around,
you can get a room
that looks out at the river.
You hear it going all night.
Nothing like sleeping
to the sound of a river.
And then you got diners
with food so good, boy,
you can't imagine.
Places to drink that
make you feel right at home.
I've been to places.
I've been to places.
One night, I took somebody
back to my room.
She had red hair.
ROSE:
Al, are you coming to bed?
Yeah.
Why are you telling me
all this?
["LA COMPARSITA"
BY LA CHARANGA CUBANA PLAYING]
[VACUUM WHIRRING]
It's just one night.
[VACUUM STOPS]
-[MUSIC ENDS]
-[ROSE LAUGHING]
They let me go.
What do you mean
they let you go?
They let me go. They...
said there weren't
enough opportunities
for salesmen
of that product anymore,
and I don't know,
and they're shrinking.
They gave Bill Pennsylvania.
What are they talking about?
"Opportunities."
Didn't I always sell
for them, Rose? Didn't I?
We'll have to take
a new mortgage out
on the house somehow.
The roof will have to wait.
[CRYING]
They... they shrunk me, Rose.
They shrunk me.
What am I gonna do now, Rose?
What am I gonna do?
-We'll figure it out.
-[COMICAL BABBLING ON TV]
We always do.
-[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]
-[DOOR CLOSES]
Hey, everybody,
I want you to meet someone.
Elizabeth, Jimmy,
say hello to Margaret.
-MARGARET: Hi, guys.
-Hi, Margaret.
-[MAKING FLATULENT SOUND]
-[SCOFFS]
-Whoopee cushion. What a jerk.
-[MARGARET LAUGHING]
Hey, Dad?
I'd like you to meet Margaret.
Nice to meet you, Margaret.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Young.
Uh, Richard told me
that you fought in the w*r.
-My... my father was a pilot.
-Ah.
Yeah, yeah, in '59,
he tried out to be a...
a... an astronaut with NASA.
Well, his eyes weren't
good enough.
-But he almost made it, right?
-Yeah, he did.
But he... he manages a chain
of auto parts stores now.
And he always says,
"Oh, what could have been?"
Well, there is a lot of that
going around.
[MOCKING QUIETLY] "Well,
there's a lot of that going--"
Mom, I want you
to meet Margaret.
ROSE: I'm just taking out
the roast, honey. Who?
-Margaret.
-I'll go in.
Hi, Mrs. Young.
Can I help you with anything?
ROSE:
Pleasure to meet you, Margaret.
So, do you go to Franklin High?
MARGARET:
No, I go to St. Paul's.
ROSE: Oh.
St. Paul's.
Well, how did you meet Richard?
Hey, did you see
the zesty carrots?
What do you plan to do
after high school, Margaret?
I'd like to go to college.
Maybe someday be a lawyer.
-A lawyer?
-She'd make a good lawyer.
She's very persuasive.
What's wrong with being a wife?
If you decide to do something,
don't wait.
I had wanted to be
a bookkeeper.
[CHUCKLING]
You should see her checkbook.
Well, I'm going into
the graphic arts.
-I'm going to be an artist.
-Oh, great.
Just what the world needs.
Don't be an idiot.
Get a job
where you wear a suit.
Time just went.
I would have been
a good bookkeeper.
["THEME FROM 'A SUMMER PLACE'"
BY PERCY FAITH PLAYING]
-[MAKES FLATULENT SOUND]
-JIMMY: Ew!
Damn it, Jimmy!
-I see you.
-Kissing!
-[JIMMY AND ELIZABETH SCREAM]
-I am gonna clobber you!
["FLYING HOME"
BY LIONEL HAMPTON PLAYING]
Can you smell something funny?
LEO: You know,
when you smell something,
you're actually
inhaling molecules
that have detached themselves
from whatever it is
you're smelling
and... and spread out
over a large area.
If we could see a loaf of bread
by its smell,
-it would be enormous.
-[VACUUM WHIRRING]
[SIGHS]
Hey, gorgeous,
get a load of this recline.
I'm late, Raquel.
I probably won't see you again
until Thursday.
Okay, see you Thursday, Ms. H.
Okay, you be good.
Oh, I will.
-Morning, Raquel.
-Ah, morning, Justin.
-You got your lunch?
-Uh-huh.
Anything exciting going on
in school today?
Mm, not really.
Just first day of driver's ed.
Driver's ed?
[SIGHS] Dios mio.
Only yesterday,
I was changing your diapers.
Uh-huh. See you Thursday.
-Wallet.
-Check.
-Watch.
-Check.
Keys?
-Check, check and double check.
-[KEYS JINGLING]
-You nervous?
-Yeah.
I'm not sure
I can still do this.
[SCOFFS] You could sell
a teapot a spout.
No one can say no to you.
-You're a charmer.
-Oh? I don't know, Rose.
I'm not a 23-year-old veteran
full of piss and vinegar
anymore.
Just watch your drinking.
-AL: Jesus Christ.
-[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[VIOLIN PLAYING
MELANCHOLY TUNE]
GIRL: [VOICE-OVER]
Oh, my goodness, Mommy.
It was so exciting.
You can see everything
just like a bird does.
And it makes your tummy tickle
and get all squiggly.
And you're taller
than the tallest tree.
And everybody looks so small,
like they're ants.
And all the houses
and carriages look like toys.
We weren't expecting you home
until this evening.
How is the suffering
for suffrage going?
The windows couldn't open,
so we postponed it
until we could find a room
with better ventilation.
Sweetheart,
will you please go to your room
and practice for a while?
I need to speak to your father.
When you finish, can I tell you
about the landing?
Of course, dear.
-I'll come get you.
-[JOHN CHUCKLES]
I can't believe
you took our precious child
up in that death trap.
Calm down, Pauline.
You're overreacting.
Overreacting? My God, John,
she's the only child we have.
Look, I simply wanted her
to experience something
that very few people,
let alone children, have...
Oh, please.
I'm sorry. I should have
told you ahead of time.
You know perfectly well I would
never have allowed it. Never.
Okay, you're right.
You're right.
Sell that infernal plane, John,
before somebody
gets k*lled in it.
["LET IT BE ME"
BY THE EVERLY BROTHERS PLAYING]
I bless the day I found you
I want
To stay around you...
You know, if you like,
you could spend
the rest of the night here.
Let it be me
I could spend
the rest of my life here.
Don't take this heaven
From one
If you must cling...
RICHARD: [VOICE-OVER]
She's pregnant.
-[RECORD SCRATCHES]
-[SONG STOPS]
AL: She's what?
She's pregnant.
Margaret is pregnant.
You're just 18 years old.
The beatnik lawyer,
is she even 18?
What do you want me to say?
God, you stupid prick, you!
You couldn't keep it
in your pants!
We both have
stupid pricks, Dad.
Don't be a wiseass.
Do not be a wiseass!
You think I wanted
to end up selling vacuums?
You think I wanted to be done
with my life when I was 22?
You think I didn't have things
I wanted to do?
Dreams?
For you.
ROSE: Al, what's going on?
You're gonna be a grandmother.
What?
Margaret's pregnant, Mom.
ED SULLIVAN: [ON TV]
Now, tonight, we're gonna twice
be entertained by them.
-[GASPING]
-Right now and again
in the second half of our show.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Beatles!
-Let's hear it.
-[AUDIENCE CHEERING ON TV]
Close your eyes
And I'll kiss you...
-[THUNDER CRASHES]
-Because they have exchanged
their vows before God
and these witnesses,
and have placed their love...
[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
I'll always be true
And then while I'm away
I'll write home
Every day...
...according to the laws
of the state
and the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
-All my loving
-[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
I will send to you
-You may now kiss the bride.
-All my loving
Darling, I'll be true
-Hey!
-All my loving
[THUNDER CRASHES]
All my loving
Ooh, all my loving
I will send to you
-[SONG ENDS]
-[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[BIRDS CALLING]
MARGARET: I thought
I was the only one
having a hard time sleeping.
RICHARD: Mm,
I'm trying to get a feel
for the early morning light.
[MARGARET GASPS]
Give me your hand.
-What?
-You feel that?
No... Oh.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
He's gonna be
a field goal kicker.
Or she's gonna be
a high-kicking chorus girl.
[RICHARD MUTTERING]
-[LAUGHS]
-A dancer.
-I put the coffee on for you.
-Thanks.
Step this way, please,
gorgeous.
Take a seat right here.
Oh, why, thank you.
I have something very important
I want to tell you.
Oh, yeah? What's that, lover?
I think '42 is gonna be
a great year.
And why is that?
Oh! [LAUGHS]
Those boys up in Michigan
seem very interested
in my chair's 180-degree
full recline feature.
I think they're gonna
go for it.
I think you're right.
You're my genius inventor.
And you know what else?
With this full recline feature,
you never even
have to leave the chair.
You can even sleep right here.
Right here
in our Relax-E-Boy chair.
You know what else you can do
with a full recline feature?
In the middle
of a Sunday afternoon?
What would Father Murphy say?
STELLA: Well,
let's not tell him.
["A STRING OF PEARLS" BY GLENN
MILLER & HIS ORCHESTRA PLAYING]
[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
[OVER RADIO]
This is John Daly speaking
from the CBS newsroom
in New York.
Here is the Far East situation
as reported to this moment.
The Japanese have attacked
the American Naval base
at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii,
and our defense facilities
at Manila,
capital of the Philippines...
[AUDIO TONE DRONING]
[MARGARET SIGHS]
I just can't get comfortable.
Oh. I'm sorry.
I know it's late.
I was just trying to catch
the rising moon.
[SNORING]
Sleeping Beauty over here
doesn't have a problem
getting comfortable.
[AUDIO TONE STOPS]
Honey, wait.
Can you turn towards the light?
Oh, I just don't feel pretty
right now, Richard.
Honey, you don't understand.
I...
I can't take my eyes
off of you.
[THUNDER RUMBLES, CRASHES]
[RAIN FALLING]
[DRIPPING]
Oh, no.
Al!
-AL: g*dd*mn rain!
-["HOLD ON, I'M COMIN'" PLAYS]
It's coming through the walls!
You have the...
the number of the, uh...
the... the roofing guy?
ROSE: What roofing guy?
AL: The...
Jose, the Puerto Rican.
ROSE: No,
Jose's the gutter guy!
AL: He... he's a gutter guy?
We have a gutter guy?
ROSE: Yeah, Jose,
he cleans the rain gutters.
-Oh...
-[AL GRUNTING]
God, Al, did you move
that bucket?
Yeah, I moved the bucket!
-I had to look at the hole!
-Look at the floor!
Look at all that water!
[SPLASHING]
Jimmy, the baby's coming.
-Now?
-Right now!
-Call a taxi.
-A taxi?
I have to get to the hospital!
Oh! Oh!
Jimmy, it's not waiting.
What do you mean
it's not waiting?
-It has to wait!
-Oh, my God,
you have to do something!
-Jimmy!
-Jesus Christ!
Call a taxi!
-[GASPING]
-[CLATTERING]
Breathe. Okay, Lamaze. Lamaze.
-I got towels.
-Oh, my God. What?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
-Are you calling a taxi?
-No.
Who are you calling?
-The fire department.
-The fire department?
[SIREN BLARING]
-[MARGARET YELLING]
-[BABY CRYING]
How do you like
them apples, kid?
A ringside seat.
A circle of life.
You did good, kid.
It's a girl.
[BABIES COOING]
RICHARD: [VOICE-OVER]
That is the moon.
That is the moon.
And look, look, look.
There's another moon.
That's another moon.
That's right.
So we have two. We have two.
There's one moon,
and there's the other moon.
[INSECTS TRILLING]
MARGARET: [VOICE-OVER]
You're the most
beautiful angel.
Yes, you are.
[LAUGHING] Yes.
You're the most beautiful girl.
-[BABY BABBLING]
-Oh, what is that goofy face?
[BABBLES] Yeah.
You make Mommy so happy.
I'm so happy. Yeah.
You want to go get
something to eat?
Yeah, let's go. Come on.
Applesauce?
You want applesauce?
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
-[SIGHS]
-MARGARET: I know.
Oh, are you sleepy?
You need to take
a little nap-nap?
I think it's time to go
night night, right?
You gonna take a little nap?
Yeah.
We sing a little lullaby,
and we go night night.
Time to go night night.
MARGARET: Vanessa,
look who's here.
Daddy's home.
Hi. What... what are you doing?
I got the job.
[GASPS] What?
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Congratulations.
[CHUCKLING]
They hired me on the spot.
You girls are looking
at the newest salesman
of the 12th-largest
life insurance company
in America.
That is so great, Richard.
Yeah, it's the opportunity
of a lifetime.
Aren't you happy?
I'm sorry.
We've done everything we can.
[CLOCK TICKING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-TED: Okay. Roll it.
-Everybody ready?
Is that working? Yeah.
-Hey.
-[AL STAMMERS]
Stop it, Jimmy.
-Jimmy, do not mess with that.
-Oh, three stockings?
We need a fourth for Vanessa.
Yeah.
Oh, my God,
the middle one was mine.
I love Christmas.
That was the year
we got our own tree.
-Wow.
-Yeah, it cost me
a damn fortune,
and I almost cut my hand off.
-You're so dramatic.
-Yeah, that was quite a day.
Yeah, you got a plastic...
you got a plastic tree, Ted?
Yeah, plastic.
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, there she is.
What did you do to my hair?
-Oh, it was so cute, Elizabeth.
-[LAUGHING]
That was me. That was me.
I think it's, like,
pom-poms or something.
Look, little Ricky.
-Thinks he's the next Ringo.
-[LAUGHTER]
Nightmare.
-Let there be drums.
-I'm getting flashbacks.
Hey, Rich, you always had an
interest in music, didn't you?
Me? No, no.
That wasn't me, Ted.
Sure, you did.
I... I remember.
You played in the combo.
You were even thinking
of applying to a music school.
Music school? No, no, not me.
No, no. It was the art academy.
Richard was gonna apply
to the Institute of Arts.
Yeah, well, you know.
We all were sure
you were gonna be somebody.
Yeah, it just didn't work out.
["SING SING SING"
BY GENE KRUPA PLAYING]
[GRUNTING]
All right. That's it, baby.
-Now say, "Money!"
-Money!
-Say, "More money!"
-More money!
[CAMERA SNAPPING REPEATEDLY]
[SIGHS]
-Wow.
-[SONG ENDS]
Now, and have you heard of this
new thing called television?
Is that the radio
with pictures?
Yes, and... and we're watching
its development very closely.
Well, so to speak. [COUGHS]
A... And we feel
a chair like this might be
the perfect complement
to a home television ensemble.
[LAUGHTER]
I have to hand it to you, Leo.
This ottoman feature
is really special.
Well, I... I'm glad
you appreciate it.
I... I've been developing it
for quite some time.
-STELLA: Mm-hmm.
-A... And you know what else
is pretty special?
-This highball.
-STELLA: Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
What's your secret,
Mrs. Beekman?
Oh, well, goodness.
Nothing special.
Just a Seagram's 7
and ginger ale.
-And a little squeeze of lemon.
-Oh.
And the ginger ale
is Canada Dry.
Oh, yeah, Canada Dry.
-Just the good stuff.
-Uh-huh.
-Yeah, well, it's delicious.
-Oh.
But I'd like to get to know
a little more about you two.
-How did you meet?
-How did we meet?
Yeah. How did you meet?
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Do you want to tell it?
He followed me home.
-Followed you home?
-Mm-hmm.
I used to see her run
by the window where I worked.
-She was always running.
-I was always late.
So one day, I followed her
and saw where she lived.
And the rest is history.
Inspirational.
I know.
Sometimes our life
is just like a fairy tale.
Oh, I'm not talking
about your life.
I'm talking about
the swivel feature.
-Oh.
-[LAUGHTER]
Absolutely inspired.
Well, that, too.
[ON TV]
...feel so good tonight.
I do. I woke up
at 5:00 this morning,
trembling and shaking all over.
I fell asleep with my electric
toothbrush in my mouth.
-That's why.
-[TV AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
And another reason
I don't feel good...
VANESSA: Boo!
[YELLING, BABBLING]
[VANESSA LAUGHING]
I see a ghost. I see a ghost.
Is that a ghost?
That is a ghost.
I can't believe this house
has a... [INHALES SHARPLY]
...a gh-gh-gh-ghost!
It's a gh-gh-gh-gh-ghost!
Don't chase me, ghost!
-Help me!
-[VANESSA AND MARGARET LAUGH]
Help! I'm being followed
by a gh-gh-gh-gh-ghost!
Aah! Mommy! Mommy!
-Mama. Ma. Look, Mother.
-What?
-This house is haunted, Mama.
-Oh, my goodness!
There's a ghost in this house.
Th... there's a ghost.
-Oh, see? Oh. There.
-No! No!
-Do you see it?
-Oh, no! A ghost!
-I see it. I see the ghost!
-No! No! No! No!
Right there! A gh-gh-gh-ghost!
-[RICHARD YELLS]
-[VANESSA GIGGLING]
MARGARET: Honey, turn.
-Look at that.
-ROSE: Honey.
-Spin, spin, spin.
-Can you smile, sweetheart?
-Focus, honey. Focus, please.
-Yeah, spinning, spinning,
-spinning.
-Smile!
Vanessa.
-Smile.
-AL: Vanessa,
face the camera and sit still!
That young lady is spoiled.
Ready? Smile.
[CAMERA SNAPS]
["LET IT BE ME" BY
THE EVERLY BROTHERS PLAYING]
-Let it be me...
-[DOOR OPENS]
-RICHARD: [SIGHS] I'm late.
-[DOOR CLOSES]
Is Vanessa in bed already?
Mm, she's out like a light.
Oh, I wanted to see her.
So, how was
her first day of school?
She loved it.
Loves her teacher, too.
Great.
-Richard?
-Yeah?
I think it's time
we had our own house.
Oh, here we go again.
No, our own house.
One that we can
raise Vanessa in.
Our own home.
Honey, we've been through this
a million times.
The mortgage rates
are at nine percent.
And Johnson just put through
the biggest tax hike
since World w*r II.
-We can't swing it right now.
-[SIGHS]
We just... we can't.
-Then I'm getting a new sofa.
-Why?
Because I can't stand
looking at
this antique of your mother's
another minute.
-Antique?
-And another thing.
You're gonna have to
handle it with her
because I don't want
to hear about it.
Well, why not just get a new
coffee table while we're at it?
Thank you.
Now, wait right there.
I believe I'm hearing our song.
What would life be?
So never leave me lonely
Tell me you love me only
And that you'll always
Let it be me
[SONG ENDS]
Daddy, go faster.
"No matter how far you travel,
no matter what we see,
right here is where
we want to be.
And I say to you
with very much glee..."
If I was you, I'd run
and take a great big pee.
-[VANESSA LAUGHING]
-But before you can go to bed,
I want to make quite clear,
no more drinking beer.
-To my surprise
-He did the Mash...
"Early to bed, early to rise
makes a man healthy,
wealthy and wise."
You tell 'em, Jimmy.
It's easy to win
a one-man race.
En garde, elder brother.
Engage, young James Young.
"Well done is better
than well said."
"By failing to prepare,
you are preparing to fail."
"He that falls
in love with himself
shall have no rivals."
I must say,
the ladies in my quilting bee
are beginning to speak highly
of your father's ideas.
Oh, Lizzy, that's balderdash.
In a year's time,
no one will remember
the great Benjamin Franklin.
"I enjoy the amours with
mature women for three reasons:
They do not tell,
they do not swell,
and they are grateful as hell."
[LAUGHTER]
You win, good sir.
-Way to go, Jimmy! [WHOOPING]
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Hear! Hear! Hear!
What fine boots upon thee,
my lady.
"These boots were made
for walkin', baby."
"And that's just
what they'll do."
Ma, let me help you with that.
Pulling out the trusty
table extension, huh?
We expecting
a huge crowd tomorrow?
Oh, just the usual family.
But I invited Ted and Virg
and the kids.
They're Thanksgiving orphans
this year.
The more the merrier, I say,
as long as we have
enough turkey.
Well, I got an 18-pounder.
-Should be enough.
-Hope you got enough wine.
You know how Ted likes
to put it away.
[SCOFFS] You're one to talk.
-Huh?
-Nothing.
-What'd you say?
-[GLASS CLINKING]
I got something to say.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
I enlisted yesterday.
You did what?
I signed up for the Navy.
The Navy?
Christ, Jimmy, what about
college, your deferment?
I was thinking I'd apply to the
fire academy when I get out.
Y-You know, be a firefighter.
Don't you know
there's still a w*r going on?
A ship just went down
in the South China Sea.
Yeah, well, somebody in this
family has to do their part.
I did my part for all of you.
I don't know what to say.
Well, well, how about
"thank you"?
-"Thank you for your service"?
-Oh, bullshit.
No one ever thanked me
for my service.
Sincerely, I don't know
what to say.
Well, then zip it.
Huh? [SCOFFS]
Last thing I need is a lecture
from my do-nothing brother.
You're such a jerk, Jimmy.
Christ almighty.
Let's not let this
ruin Thanksgiving.
-He'll be fine.
-Yeah.
He'll be fine.
COMMENTATOR: [ON TV]
Touchdown!
[CROWD CHEERING]
My little brother
joins the Navy.
I felt so fortunate
to avoid the draft,
and now Jimmy's gonna fight
the Communists?
-I weep for America.
-[MARGARET SIGHS]
I think it's time.
For bed?
-I'm game.
-No.
For us to have
a place of our own
where we can have our
Thanksgiving in our own home.
Well, we've almost
saved up enough.
It won't be long now.
You said that
last Thanksgiving, Richard.
Because I am not
going to be strapped
with a mortgage I can't afford.
Okay, well, I'm getting
a part-time job.
Amy said that there's
an opening for a receptionist
at the law firm she works for.
A part-time job makes no sense.
After taxes, what are you
gonna have to show for it?
Oh, my God,
your obsession with taxes.
-You just don't get it.
-We'll have to hire
a babysitter for Vanessa,
and that's gonna run
-at least $50 a week.
-I need my own space, Richard.
You and me,
we need our own space.
So you want us
to take on more debt?
We haven't paid off
your new furniture yet.
Okay, so what are we gonna do?
We're just gonna live
in this commune until we die?
I have an idea.
Why don't you join the Navy?
[MARGARET SCOFFS]
Why don't you have
another glass of wine?
Rose, is this leather?
No, it's Naugahyde.
-Naugahyde?
-Margaret bought it.
Mm, seems like it wears well.
It's not really my taste.
It's like something
you would have in an office.
Virginia, can I get you
another drink?
Oh, my, no.
-No?
-No, I'm already
getting sleepy.
How about you, Ted?
You look wide awake.
You're not gonna let this good
bourbon go to waste, are you?
Okay, but don't blame me
if you have to carry me home.
[LAUGHTER]
AL: Hey, Rose, tell that joke.
-What joke?
-"What joke?" Your joke.
You know,
the one about the doctor.
-Oh, goodness. No, you tell it.
-No, go on.
-You tell it so good.
-No, you tell it.
Come on, Rose,
tell us the joke.
Okay, fine. So, there's a guy,
and he calls his doctor
for some test results,
and the doctor says,
"So, Mr. Jones,
I have some good news,
and I have some bad news.
The good news is that
you have 24 hours to live."
"That's the good news?"
the guy screams.
"What's the bad news?"
"I should've told you
yesterday."
[LAUGHTER]
-Isn't that great? I didn't...
-[TED COUGHING]
-It's so silly.
-You tell it so good.
-Doesn't she tell it good?
-I don't think so.
-Ted, are you okay?
-Oh, my.
-You want some water, Ted?
-Hey, Ted.
[COUGHING CONTINUES]
-Teddy.
-Ted?
Ted?
[GROANS]
-Ted!
-Oh, my God!
-Christ almighty!
-Teddy.
-Rose, do something!
-Teddy?
-Wh-What am I supposed to do?
-Call 911!
Get... get a glass of water
or something.
[STAMMERING] Mouth-to-mouth?
Teddy!
[SHUDDERING BREATHS]
What?
Ted passed away.
He did?
Wh-When?
20 minutes ago.
He never woke up.
Well, at least
he died laughing.
Why did I have to tell
that stupid joke?
I don't know, Rose.
I don't know.
I guess I'll go
be with Virginia.
I'll come with you.
[CRYING]
Why, John?
Why?
Why did you let this happen?
Surprised they're having
an open casket.
Why do you say that?
Usually, there's not much left
after a plane crash.
He didn't die in a plane crash.
-He didn't?
-No.
The influenza k*lled him.
["BRAND NEW KEY"
BY MELANIE PLAYING]
I rode my bicycle
Past your window last night
I roller-skated
To your door at daylight
It almost seems
Like you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you got
Somethin' I need...
VANESSA: [ECHOING]
Hello?
Vanessa got her head stuck
in the fireplace?
[MARGARET LAUGHING]
And she wants to sue Santa.
For what?
For emotional chimney trauma.
"Chimney trauma."
That's genius.
She cracks me up.
RICHARD: Keep those eyes
closed now.
Keep them closed.
["THERE IS NO CHRISTMAS LIKE A
HOME CHRISTMAS" BY PERRY COMO]
And three, two, one,
open your eyes.
VANESSA: [GASPS] That's
the best one we've ever had!
-MARGARET: Beautiful.
-Yeah?
-You think so?
-MARGARET: Yeah.
It was the best one on the lot.
Look how full it is.
RICHARD: Now, I have
one more present just for you.
Now, these are rough,
but they will give you
a good idea.
I thought, if we are going
to have our own house...
-[GASPS]
-...I should design it.
Oh, my gosh. Richard!
About 2,500 square feet.
With an open kitchen plan.
Breakfast nook.
I know how much
you love window seats.
Oh, my God.
Vanessa can have
her own bathroom,
and you can have
your own walk-in closet
with a shelf
just for your shoes.
Richard, I didn't even think
you heard me.
-Oh.
-Wait, did you end up
getting the raise
or a promotion?
No, no, but things are
picking up down at the firm.
I... I don't even know
what to say.
You don't have to say anything.
Oh, you know, Billy,
I was just your age
when I first passed through
this tiny hamlet.
It's quite strange to me,
coming back to visit my son
after all this time,
-and now with my grandson.
-[CHUCKLING]
Grandpa, will you promise not
to argue politics with Father?
I promise.
[HORSE NEIGHING]
Men, I have a dispatch
from headquarters,
signed by
General Washington himself.
The British have surrendered.
The w*r is over. We have won.
Now what?
-[THUNDER RUMBLING]
-[CRYING] Mommy! Mommy!
MARGARET:
What happened, honey?
I lost my ribbon.
Your what?
My blue first place ribbon
from school.
You... you lost
the what, honey?
-My ribbon!
-Oh, the ribbon.
Where's the last place
you saw it?
In my book bag.
Okay, well, let's go look.
-Come on.
-What's going on?
Oh, we lost
the blue school ribbon.
Oh.
I didn't get the raise.
I'm sorry, Richard.
Mm, well, there's a lot of
heads on the chopping block.
They're downsizing
at headquarters.
Our house
Is a very, very
Very fine house...
Vanessa?
Vanessa!
Vanessa, look what Mommy found!
Now everything is easy
'Cause of you...
Thank you, Mommy.
It was in between
the sofa cushions.
-What's going on?
-Look what Mommy found.
Hey, hey! [LAUGHS]
-Where was it?
-In between the sofa.
How did it get there?
-God put it there.
-Oh, he did?
-Because I prayed.
-Oh.
Well, some people
would call that a miracle.
I'm gonna go put it away.
You better put that
in a very safe place.
[SIGHS] A moment
we'll always remember.
That is for sure.
["CHERRY b*mb" BY THE RUNAWAYS
PLAYING]
Can't stay at home
-Can't stay in school...
-[PHONE RINGING]
MARGARET: Vanessa,
get the phone!
You poor little fool...
Get the phone, Vanessa!
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-[VACUUM WHIRRING]
[OVER HEADPHONES] I'm the fox
You've been waiting for
-[VACUUM STOPS]
-Hello, Daddy
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-Hello, Mom
I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch
Cherry b*mb
[SONG STOPS]
-[DOOR OPENS]
-ROSE: Yes, can I help you?
MAN: Hello.
Sorry to disturb you.
We're here from
the Archaeological Society.
We were wondering
if you had a moment.
ROSE: Yes, certainly.
Please, come in.
-[DOOR CLOSES]
-MAN: Thank you.
ROSE: You must excuse the mess.
I'm afraid I'm in the middle
of a deep clean.
-I'm so sorry.
-Oh, thank you so much.
I'm Earl Higgins,
and these are
my prize students,
Todd and Lisa.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Please, do come in.
Here, sit down.
-Go on.
-I'm sorry about the mess.
Can I get you something?
Um, some lemonade, perhaps?
It's homemade--
My grandmother's recipe.
No, we don't...
We don't want to take up
too much of your time.
Uh, we were just visiting
the historic house
-across the street.
-Oh, yes.
-Isn't it marvelous?
-[EARL CHUCKLES]
Oh, it is one of the reasons
I fell in love with this house.
I am a fan
of anything colonial.
Right. Well,
we're primarily involved
with the study
of Native American culture.
Uh, this is a rich
archaeological area,
and we have reason to believe
that your property
may potentially be
an important site.
Oh, my.
Well, imagine that.
Will you please try
the lemonade?
It is a family tradition.
Yes? Yes.
Three lemonades coming up.
Sweet or unsweetened?
-Sweet.
-Sweet, sweet.
Uh, would you mind if I took
a look in your backyard?
Well, my husband
isn't home right now, but...
Yes, I'm sure that's fine.
This way.
EARL: Wow, your yard
is the perfect size,
and there's plenty of access
-from the back alley.
-[BOTH CHUCKLING]
Uh, you have a little
fuzzy thing on your chin.
The other side. A little lower.
-Oh, yeah, yeah. You got it.
-[CHUCKLING SOFTLY]
You found my imperfection.
[ON TV] Are you ready
to do the workout?
-[THUNDER CRASHES]
-[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
[PANTING]
Hey, Vanessa.
So, what's the story with
that mansion across the street?
William Franklin
once lived there.
Is he the one that planted
the cherry tree or something?
No. Gosh, Bethany,
you're such a spaz.
Thomas Jefferson is the one
that chopped down
the cherry tree.
He didn't plant it.
William Franklin
is Benjamin Franklin's
illegitimate son.
[CHUCKLES] No sh*t.
How do you know that?
My mother belongs
to a historical book club.
Cool. My mother belongs
to a book club,
but all they do
is get sh*t-faced.
-[THUNDER CRASHES]
-[MUSIC STOPS]
Damn.
No more aerobics tonight.
[WIND HOWLING]
[DOOR OPENS]
MARGARET: Rose, I'm back!
-[DOOR CLOSES]
-Everyone's power's out.
The whole neighborhood.
They were out of batteries,
but I got you two candles.
And believe it or not,
they had one copy
of your "People" magazine left.
[SIGHS, GASPS]
Rose!
Oh, my... Rose!
Richard!
AL: [VOICE-OVER]
I keep having this dream.
This... [SNIFFLES]
recurring dream.
[VOICE SHAKING]
I'm standing on a riverbank.
And I see Rose, and she's...
...she's out in the water,
and she's... she's drowning.
And I s... I swim out to her,
but I can't...
I... I can't save her.
She keeps going under.
I try to pull her in,
but she keeps going under.
[WHIMPERS]
There's nothing I can do.
I'm not strong enough,
or I have no power,
or I'm weak.
God help me.
[SNIFFLES, WHIMPERS]
Oh, God.
God help me.
[BOTTLES CLINKING]
["WASHINGTON POST" BY THE JOHN
PHILIP SOUSA ORCHESTRA PLAYS]
[WHISTLING, CRACKLING]
[LIVELY CHATTER]
What are these?
ROSE: "Sash motatoes."
Mashed potatoes. That's right.
"Mished topatoes."
[CHUCKLES] Very good, Rose.
AL: I heard that.
Mashed potatoes. Good girl.
How's she doing?
She eat anything?
-She did great tonight.
-Yeah?
-She ate almost every bite.
-Good job.
-Well?
-"Well," what?
-Didn't Ricky tell you?
-Tell me what?
Well, Mr. Day Late
and a Dollar Short.
I can't believe
he didn't tell you.
Tell me what, Al? What?
Me and Rose are giving
you two the house.
All paid off.
I got a little socked away
for a rainy day.
Rose is making progress.
So we decided, come the fall,
we're moving to Florida.
-Florida? But...
-And it turns out our condo
is less than two miles
from Hampstead Neuro,
which is the best stroke
rehab center in the state,
so it's a winner all around.
But wait, how...
how can you afford to...
I ran the numbers.
My pension, Social Security,
Rose's disability.
We'll be fine.
Besides, we've been living here
rent-free for years.
But wait, what... what about
Elizabeth and Jimmy?
-It's their house, too.
-[SIGHS]
I never told Ricky,
but when my dad died,
he left me some money.
I've taken care
of Jimmy and Elizabeth.
They're thrilled for you.
Besides, wild horses
couldn't drag 'em back here.
I... I don't even know
what to say, Al.
Don't say anything.
Except, I don't know,
maybe "thank you."
You know what?
Come to think of it,
there is absolutely nothing
to say.
RICHARD: Say about what?
Ah, here he is,
Mr. Slower Than Molasses.
I told Margaret we're
leaving you two the house.
Al, thank you.
AL: Yeah, good night.
I don't want this house.
Look, it's not like
I haven't been trying.
I keep hoping the economy
is gonna turn around.
We need our own house,
and I want my own life.
I'll see if I can get
more hours at work.
We can make it work.
Oh, how many more hours
can they give a receptionist?
Excuse me?
I have been a secretary
for 18 months.
Dad gave us a house!
If we sell it,
we'll have to pay
-capital gains taxes.
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
And if we buy a new one,
there'll be a mortgage.
Other people buy houses,
Richard!
And they make it work.
You have to stop
making excuses.
You always find a reason
not to do something.
Well, I will not
-live here forever!
-And I will not gamble...
LEO:
We're in the money
Come on, my honey
Let's lend it, spend it
-Send it rolling around
-[STELLA WHOOPING]
We hit the jackpot
We hit the jackpot
Say bon voyage
to our illustrious son
who hopefully will start
a great big family.
A toast to the most
brilliant inventor
and his newest creation,
-the Relax-Z-Boy recline...
-Ah. La-Z-Boy.
They're gonna call it
the La-Z-Boy.
Oh, honey,
I'm not sure I like that.
Who cares, honey? Who cares?
They can call it
anything they want.
-California, here we come.
-[DOG BARKING]
Happy birthday, dear Justin
Happy birthday to you
-[WHOOPING]
-Yay! All right.
Go ahead, make a wish, baby.
[INSECTS TRILLING]
[SPEAKING INDIGENOUS LANGUAGE]
[CONTINUES
IN INDIGENOUS LANGUAGE]
[RATTLING]
[GASPS]
Yeah.
We found it not far
from our first site.
Wasn't buried very deep--
Only a few feet.
Wow.
Oh, we have to show Rose.
Sure.
Rose, look what they found.
They found this here,
right here in the backyard.
-Necklace.
-Yeah.
Oh, please don't touch it.
It's quite sacred.
[ROSE GASPS]
Beautiful.
Yeah.
["FUNKYTOWN" BY LIPPS, INC.
PLAYING]
AL: Okay,
everybody, squeeze in.
Family, family,
watch the birdie. Squeeze in.
Okay, Vanessa,
you're gonna have to...
Vanessa. Vanessa.
Vanessa. Vanessa, sweetie.
Vanessa, can you be part
of the family, please?
AL: Okay,
everybody, stay still.
-[CAMERA WHIRRING]
-Talking to you, Rich.
And say, "Cheese."
GROUP: Cheese.
-MARGARET: Bye.
-JIMMY: Love you.
-ELIZABETH: Bye.
-MARGARET: Bye.
Take good care of Rosie, Al.
RICHARD: Hey,
keep Mom out of the sun.
-JIMMY: We love you.
-ELIZABETH: Be good.
VANESSA: Bye, Grandma!
Bye, Grandpa!
-I love you! I love you!
-JIMMY: Bye!
["THEME FROM 'CHIPS'"
PLAYING ON TV]
Oh, I forgot to tell you
the plumber's coming at 10:00.
-Oh, for the...
-Tomorrow. Yeah.
For the bathroom
or for the backyard?
VANESSA:
I'm going to Bethany's.
You're not going out
dressed like that.
[GROANS] I'm not going out.
I'm going to Bethany's.
Right, remember curfew--
Home by 10:30.
Christ almighty, I'm almost 16.
-10:30.
-[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Turn that off.
-You hear that?
-What?
Listen.
Silence.
We're alone.
RICHARD: Hey, honey.
What if I were to open
a bottle of wine?
[MOUTHING]
["FOOLED AROUND AND FELL IN
LOVE" BY ELVIN BISHOP PLAYING]
-I fooled around
-[BELT UNBUCKLING]
-And fell in love
-[PANTS UNZIPPING]
[PANTS DROP TO FLOOR]
I fooled around
And fell in love
-[BELT BUCKLE CLINKING]
-Since I met you, baby
I fooled around and fell...
RICHARD: Eight of you in
one bathroom, for Pete's sake?
Where do you keep
all the stuff?
Ah. And how do you like
sleeping on the top bunk?
[CHUCKLES]
I wouldn't know anything
about that.
No, you're the first one
in the family to go to college.
Haven't I told you that
only about a million times?
Well, when do you need it?
How much is it?
-All right, well, I'll, uh...
-[DOOR OPENS]
-I'll send you a check.
-[DOOR CLOSES]
No, w-wait, wait, wait, wait.
Your mom just got home.
She wants to say hello.
Hi, sweetheart.
I... I sent you a new blanket
and some warm socks.
Oh, you do? Okay.
Well, we can talk later. Yeah.
Okay, bye-bye. Bye.
Our daughter is in college.
Time sure flies, doesn't it?
Sure does.
Oh, you're thinking
about Vanessa, aren't you?
I can tell.
It just seems like a moment ago
she left for college,
and now law school?
Our little girl
is gonna be a lawyer.
-[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
-She's amazing.
Time sure does fly, doesn't it?
Law school.
We're gonna have to take out
a loan, aren't we,
for her tuition?
We have to mortgage the house.
It's the only way
we can swing it.
Whatever happened to those
plans you drew of that house?
I put 'em somewhere.
I don't know.
The attic.
That would've been
a beautiful house.
[GLASS CLINKING]
AL: [VOICE-OVER]
Excuse me.
I want to make
the toast this year.
[CRYING] This is the first
Thanksgiving without my Rose.
Sorry. Sorry.
Now...
Rose, she... she loved
having you all around her.
She loved this day.
She loved...
She loved cooking for you.
She lived for you.
And for you, Dad.
Yeah, and for me.
-I love you, Dad.
-We all love you, Al.
We sure do.
-To my Rose.
-To Rose.
To Rose.
So, the first thing
you'll say to him is,
"Officer, my insurance
and registration
are in my glove compartment."
Then you're gonna leave one
hand visible on the dashboard,
and with the other hand,
you will slowly reach around
to your back pocket,
take out your wallet
and give him
your driver's license.
Next, you're gonna tell him,
"Officer, I am now
going to open my glove box
and take out
my registration papers."
And making sure he can see
both your hands at all times,
you will slowly take
your registration
out of the glove box
and hand it over.
After you hand him the papers,
you're gonna sit
as chilly as a snowman,
and when he's done,
you will sign the ticket,
and you will say,
"Thank you, Officer."
Then you'll put
your turn signal on
and very slowly and carefully
merge into traffic.
And you will thank God
that that police officer
that stopped you
had his morning coffee
and was thinking clearly.
Then you'll get on
with your life.
[DOOR CLOSES]
MARGARET: Richard,
why are the lights out?
-GROUP: Surprise!
-[GASPS] Oh, my...
[LAUGHING]
I got it, I got it, I got it!
-Oh, we got you.
-[SHOUTS OF "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"]
We got you.
Hey. Hi.
-Happy birthday to you
-Oh, my... [LAUGHS]
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Dear Margaret
Happy birthday to you
Make a wish.
You know, Richard said
the other day how time flies,
but Richard always says
things like that
-that are kind of obvious.
-[LAUGHTER]
-Um... [LAUGHS]
-I do. I do. Yeah.
And, you know, but it made me
think when I was 30,
if I thought about 50,
I thought,
"That is an awful
long way away,
and I don't really need
to think about it," and...
and then I blinked and I'm 50.
-That's crazy.
-[LAUGHTER]
Time flies.
Um, I wish I could say
that I've done more
with my 50 years.
Um, my amazing daughter,
though,
she just made senior partner--
Apparently the youngest
to ever do so--
And she is one tough,
brilliant attorney, isn't she?
-She is that. Yes.
-[MURMURS OF AGREEMENT]
Yeah.
Um, but I never made it
to law school.
Um...
[CRYING] And I... I never got
to see Paris in the spring,
and I never got to stay over
in Yellowstone
because it was
too crowded or...
Sw-Sweetheart, your candles.
Well, no, it's just that
I put things off,
and I kept putting them off.
And I would say,
"Oh, we'll do it next year."
And then that next year
would come, and I'd say,
"Oh, next year, next year."
And... [BREATH TREMBLING]
I don't want
to do that anymore.
-Margaret, it's okay.
-[SOBBING]
-Yeah, it's okay.
-Blow out your candles.
[SNIFFLES] Yeah.
So, around the time
of the American Revolution,
marriage was something equal
to a dictatorship.
But nowadays, thank goodness,
it resembles something
closer to,
shall we say, a democracy.
Although not yet
"a more perfect union."
[CHUCKLES] You see,
most couples like to think
of marriage as being
together in the same boat,
doing everything together
in the same boat.
Fight and make love,
and stop making love
and fighting some more,
and then coming together
and doing it all over again.
Mostly fighting
for their individual space,
fighting to be heard,
fighting for their identity.
I like to call it
fighting over the rudder,
all while their boat
is floating
down the river of life.
Possibly headed for the falls,
but most couples find solace
in this idea of being
in the same boat,
because if the boat sinks,
they go down together.
Margaret, I can't believe
you brought your shrink
into our home.
Oh, I'm not a psychiatrist.
Well, what are you?
I'm a life coach.
Even better.
A fully accredited
holistic health practitioner.
Margaret, I can't believe
that you brought
this quack life coach
into our home.
It was my suggestion,
considering your reluctance
to do the work.
[STAMMERS] My reluctance to...
What is your name again?
Gilbert Moore, CHHP.
You can call me Gil.
Well, Gilbert Moore, CHHP,
get to the point.
I think you two belong
in separate boats.
Get the f*ck out of my house!
[HUMMING A TUNE]
[SPANISH-LANGUAGE PROGRAM
PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]
[SNIFFS]
[SNIFFS]
[SNIFFS DEEPLY]
[SNIFFS]
[GASPS]
I cannot smell anything.
Look, my father fell
and broke his hip
down in Florida,
and the doctors say
there were complications
in the surgery,
with an infection,
so he's gonna be laid up
for quite a while.
He'll have trouble walking
and, you know, getting around,
getting up and down
stairs, so...
Well, we have to bring him
back here.
He'll camp out
in our living room.
We have the sofa bed.
[GROANS] No.
No, Mar... Margaret
is not happy with it, no.
Yeah.
She's got a lot of stuff
that's going on and...
Look, it's complicated,
and I think that, uh...
I think...
I think she's going
to leave me.
MAN: [ON PHONE]
God, I'm sorry, Rich.
You think she's seeing
someone else?
No, no, it's nothing like that.
It's just been brewing
for an awfully long time.
[DOOR OPENS]
-Look, but, um...
-[DOOR CLOSES]
We'll talk about this tomorrow.
MARGARET: The strangest thing
just happened.
-Yeah.
-I had to pull the car over
on the side of the road
because I forgot where I lived.
Literally just stopped the car
and had to think about it.
Isn't that odd,
not knowing where you are?
Well, you have
a lot on your mind.
I'm glad you remembered.
Anyway, I'm here.
I'm glad you're here.
RICHARD: Your new prescriptions
are here on the table.
[GROANS] Huh? What did you say?
Your new prescriptions
are there on the end table.
Huh?
Your new prescriptions
are there on the end table!
You know, you're gonna
get old one day.
-Sorry.
-Huh?
I said I'm sorry!
I heard you the first time.
I was pulling your leg.
-What do you want to watch?
-"Jeopardy!"
-What?
-[YELLS] "Jeopardy!" Ugh.
DEVON: So, is that everything?
REAL ESTATE AGENT:
It's everything I've got.
-DEVON: All right.
-[CHUCKLES]
REAL ESTATE AGENT:
It is a pleasure
doing business with you.
Very excited that you found
your next house so quickly.
DEVON: Yeah, it wasn't easy,
but we got there.
REAL ESTATE AGENT:
Yeah.
DEVON: So, what you think
this is really gonna go for?
REAL ESTATE AGENT:
Oh, it's so hard to say,
but it's starting to feel like
the market is
really taking off.
I expect every offer to come in
at least ten percent
above asking.
-Oh.
-Maybe 20.
DEVON: [CHUCKLES]
From your lips to God's ears.
REAL ESTATE AGENT: [CHUCKLES]
Well, in this market,
I may just have
a direct line with God.
DEVON: I really hope so.
REAL ESTATE AGENT:
I'll be sure to post
all the pictures
first thing in the morning.
DEVON: And email me
if you need anything else.
REAL ESTATE AGENT:
I will. Thank you.
-DEVON: Thank you. Good night.
-Okay, have a great evening.
-DEVON: You, too.
-[DOOR CLOSES]
Hey.
Hey, what's going on?
Why you crying?
[SOBBING]
Hey. What...
[CRYING] Raquel died
like 20 minutes ago.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
[GRUNTING]
[PANTING]
Are you sure this thing's gonna
fit in the new dining room?
HELEN: We had 'em all
measured, honey.
It seems pretty damn big.
Made you a sandwich.
[GRUNTS]
Thank God.
I'm starving.
I can't take care of him,
Richard.
I just started to feel
like my own person.
With him being here,
I feel like I could scream,
I'm so trapped.
And I know that sounds shitty.
He wanted to come back to us.
He wanted to come home.
He wanted to be here, where...
Here!
To die.
-Hey, Dad. What's the score?
-Huh?
The game-- Who's winning?
AL: Uh...
ANNOUNCER: [ON TV]
At the crossroads of the world,
Times Square
in New York City...
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
[CLINKING]
GUEST: Hey, come on.
It's almost time.
ANNOUNCER: [ON TV]
In 15 seconds...
-You look so silly.
-[LAUGHS]
It's that time of year.
GUESTS: Ten, nine, eight,
seven, six,
-five, four...
-To better times.
-...three, two, one.
-Better times.
-Happy New Year!
-[APPLAUSE]
[NOISEMAKER BLARING]
Happy New Year, Richard.
Happy New Year, Margaret.
["AULD LANG SYNE"
PLAYING ON TV]
[GUESTS CONTINUE CHATTERING]
[ON TV] ...forensic
scientific standpoint,
you cannot
definitively prove that.
-[TV CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
-[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
Well, my meeting was canceled,
so I figured,
how about
our favorite breakfast?
Oh, thank you.
Dad make it to therapy okay?
Uh, picked up right on time.
He has a new caregiver.
Her name is Carol.
Carol.
Vanessa left a message for me
down at the office.
Did you talk to her?
I did.
Uh, what'd she have to say?
Well, funnily enough,
we talked about you.
Me?
We talked about
what a great artist you are
and how you always wanted
to be a graphic artist
back when we met.
And she wanted to know
why you quit painting.
You know why.
I don't, actually.
I had to make a living.
I had to make money.
I took an apartment
on High Street.
I can walk to work.
So you're leaving me?
I am.
AL: Do you think
you can save it?
Save what?
-Your marriage.
-[GRUMBLES SOFTLY]
I have no idea.
Your mom and I,
we never had problems like that.
[LAUGHING] Yes, you did.
People just didn't talk
about them.
That's all.
It was a different time.
Oh, she... she left me once.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, you were all little.
She left for four days,
went to New York,
saw some plays, went up
the Empire State Building.
But she came back, Ricky.
She came back,
and she never left again.
Yeah, well, it was
a different time, like I said.
She left her heavy coat.
Who did?
Margaret-- She left
her heavy coat.
When you leave
something like that,
it means you want to come back.
Margaret's leaving
all kinds of stuff.
It doesn't mean anything.
She's been forgetting
a lot of things lately.
Maybe it's time, Ricky.
For what?
Maybe you should
sell the house.
Sell the house?
After all this time,
you've said sell... [STAMMERS]
I will tell you
what I am going to do.
I am going to paint.
Good.
Come along, darling.
It's time to go.
Mother, I'm going to miss
being here.
Really?
I won't.
GIRLS: [CHANTING OUTSIDE]
Its name was Enza.
Come along, darling.
GIRLS: I opened the window.
In flew Enza.
I had a little bird.
-Its name was Enza.
-[DOOR CLOSES]
I opened the window.
In flew Enza.
I had a little bird.
[FADING] Its name was Enza.
What did I come in here for?
Why am I here?
Rose.
I'm coming, Rose.
[BREATHLESSLY] I'm coming.
Rose?
[STRAINING]
Don't worry.
I'm coming, Rose.
Just wait. I'm coming.
I'm coming. I'm coming.
[PANTING]
Wallet, watch, keys.
RICHARD: [VOICE-OVER]
I wanted to thank you
for being there today.
It... it meant a lot.
MARGARET: [VOICE-OVER]
It was a lovely service.
I'm sorry I couldn't stay
for the lunch, Richard.
RICHARD: Oh, no,
that's all right.
That's all right. Just...
But thank you.
MARGARET: [ON PHONE]
So, are you all right?
H-How are you doing?
RICHARD: I'm okay.
I'm sad, but I'm okay.
MARGARET: Well, it is sad.
Very sad.
RICHARD: Yeah, and as we've
discussed many times,
that's an important feeling.
MARGARET: Mm-hmm.
It certainly is.
RICHARD: It was good
that Dad and I had...
so much time, you know,
since he came back
to live here, and...
we talked, we-we-we...
we sorted through
a lot of stuff.
MARGARET: I'm glad.
Glad you two were able
to do that.
RICHARD: And, Margaret,
I need to...
Margaret,
I have to apologize to you.
-Richard, you don't have to...
-Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
Margaret, I have to tell you
how sorry I am.
All I did was worry
about every damn thing.
In some insane way,
I must have believed
that worrying would keep
painful things from happening.
Isn't it ridiculous?
I'm sorry, Margaret.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to be
what you needed me to be.
Richard, it's okay.
But thank you.
[VOICE SHAKING]
Thank you for...
for saying that.
We both... [SNIFFLES]
We did the best we could.
Yeah.
Yeah.
[INSECTS TRILLING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[CHANTING]
Ring around the rosie,
a pocket full of posies.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
[PLAYFUL CHATTER]
MARGARET: [ON PHONE] We were
walking along the Seine,
and the sky opened up,
and it just started to pour.
So we ducked into
this tiny cafe
and ended up having
the best baguette of our life.
Oh, and I must be starting
to look French, by the way,
because an American tourist
stopped me
and asked me
if I spoke English,
and I said, "Oui."
-[MARGARET LAUGHS]
-RICHARD: Aw. [MUTTERS]
You got to see Paris.
MARGARET:
I got to see Paris, Richard.
RICHARD: How great
Vanessa was able
to rendezvous with you.
MARGARET: Oh, it was wonderful.
And Vanessa and I decided
we're coming back every year.
-Just us. No David.
-RICHARD: Oh.
MARGARET: Just
a mother-and-daughter trip.
-RICHARD: Oh, why not? Yeah.
-And you know what else?
I'm gonna save my pennies to
visit a new country every year.
RICHARD: That sounds like
a perfect plan.
MARGARET: Oh,
speaking of plans,
are Vanessa and David joining
you for Thanksgiving this year?
RICHARD: They're going
to David's folks'.
Vanessa told me
that David's mother
is hell-bent on having
Thanksgiving this year
and there's nothing
we can do about it.
Well, Margaret, the family
is spread all over the globe.
No. No. No plans.
No, n-no... no plans.
So I think
I'm just gonna skip it.
You?
Would you really want to?
I'd love that.
Well, then you got it.
[CHUCKLES]
Thanksgiving dinner,
4:00 p.m., right here.
[FIRE CRACKLING]
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
It's open!
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
-Hey.
-Hi.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, you look great.
-[CHUCKLES] Aw.
-You do.
You sure this is
what you wanted?
Oh, what could be better
for Thanksgiving dinner
than cold egg rolls?
Wow, Richard,
you've really been painting.
Oh, I've been busy, yeah.
They're great.
Well, thank you.
Beautiful.
What's this?
That is you.
[LAUGHING]
I don't look like that.
Yes, you do.
Oh, my goodness.
You could actually sell these.
-Yeah?
-Not that one, though.
I painted this one
just for you.
Our Vanessa.
-So beautiful.
-Our masterpiece.
Oh, that's for sure.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
Here's a place of honor
for you.
How nice of you to pull out
the folding table.
[CHUCKLES]
It's a family tradition.
I thought, why not?
You know,
the damnedest thing happened
when I was waiting in line
at the Chinese restaurant.
For a second,
I forgot why I was there.
-It scared me.
-Hmm.
Well, the holidays can be
confusing for a lot of people.
Yeah.
-It's good to see you.
-It's good to see you.
Well, I'll give the blessing.
Thank you for the sound
of all the voices
that have been here
and for bringing us
together today.
-Amen.
-Amen.
Now, I thought, let's begin
a brand-new tradition.
Let's start the meal
with fortune cookies.
[LAUGHING] Okay.
-You go first.
-Oh.
"Help! I'm being held prisoner
in a fortune cookie factory."
A joke my dad would've said.
"You will have an adventure."
And what an adventure
it has been.
What does yours say?
"An old love
will come back to you."
Mm. That's a good one.
Is this my good fortune?
No.
I've been thinking.
I'm gonna sell the house.
Good.
-[DOOR OPENS]
-RICHARD: Careful, now.
-I got you.
-MARGARET: Ten?
RICHARD: Ten, yeah. Ten years.
Can you believe it? Time flies.
-Careful. You all right?
-[DOOR CLOSES]
Here, I got you. I got you.
[SIGHS] This was our home.
We lived here.
You lived here.
-We lived here?
-Yes. Yeah.
Here, sit. Sit down.
I have these chairs.
Uh, the first time
you came into this house...
[CHUCKLES] Oh,
you looked so beautiful.
Couldn't take my eyes off you.
You came to meet
my mom and my dad.
Now, do you remember
my mom and my dad?
Rose and Al.
No.
Well, we all lived here
together.
Many, many happy memories.
I will never forget,
this one night,
you and I made love
on my mother's sofa right here.
-No.
-Yes, we did.
They were all asleep upstairs,
and we were going at it
-pretty hot and heavy.
-[CHUCKLING] Oh! No. Oh.
Many happy memories here.
Thanksgiving and Christmas.
We... we got married right in
front of the fireplace there.
Oh, my God, you gave birth
to our daughter, Vanessa,
right here.
Do you remember
our daughter, Vanessa?
-[SIGHS] Eh...
-Hmm?
We raised her in this house.
We did our best
to be good parents.
You were a wonderful mother,
and I... I tried to be
a good father and...
and a good husband.
I have no regrets.
Vanessa?
Yes, our daughter, Vanessa.
She was and is a firecracker.
There was this one time she...
she had won an award
at school-- A ribbon--
And she lost it,
and she was so upset
she cried for two days straight
about that lost ribbon.
-The blue ribbon.
-Yes, it was a blue ribbon.
I... I remember.
I found it in the...
in the sofa.
The brown sofa. I remember.
[CRYING]
I remember finding it.
She was so happy.
And you...
you came in the door,
and you were so happy.
Oh, I remember all that.
That was right here.
I remember being here.
I love it here.
I love it here.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
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