♪ I could be so good for you
♪ Love you like you want me to
♪ I could be so good for you
♪ Love you like you want me to
- OK?
- Yeah, Thursday.
- And then what?
- I dunno.
Where will he go?
Like the address?
- He hasn't said.
- I've got to have an address, haven't I?
I'll get it for you, don't worry.
I mean, he owes me.
Yes, I'm sure.
Everybody owes you.
I suppose so.
We've got a pay rise
in the pipeline.
Oh, yes?
What are you, a shop steward?
As it happens, I'm on the committee.
I'm one of the spokesmen.
Yes, I'm sure.
Well, speak to me on the phone
about the address, right?
It's your birthday...
again.
[ENGINE STARTS]
- Eh?
- Job lot.
No. I mean,
they're not your actual
Persian rugs. I mean...
They're manufactured in Belgium.
- At least they're foreign.
- Yeah.
Last time you were selling Chinese pottery,
it was made in Hackney.
So what?
Your granny loved it.
You see, your average punter
wouldn't know a Ding dynasty
- if it was staring him in the face.
- Mr Daley?
That depends.
- Business?
- Might be.
Ernie Dodds.
- Eh?
- He needs a favour.
Ernie Dodds?
I thought he was dead.
Nah,
comes out next Thursday.
Dear...
Old Ernie.
And I do mean "old".
How long's it been?
Dear, oh, dear,
I was just a lad.
You...
you just out?
Not me,
I've got another ten years yet.
You what?
What I think he means is
he's a good, honest screw.
He's got another ten years to go
before his pension.
Just an errand boy, aren't you, son?
Filling up your piggy bank.
- Sort of.
- Well, that's all right, son.
I mean, we've all got to earn a crust,
didn't we?
Exactly.
In fact, er...
Ernie did say, er...
you'd give me a bit of a drink.
Me?
- Oh, no, no, no. I hardly knew him.
- Ernie reckons you're a real pal.
One of the best, he said.
What does he want?
He just wants you to be outside
eight o'clock Thursday with a car.
The last bloke who was outside
with a car ended up inside.
Everybody makes mistakes,
Mr Daley.
Do you remember why Ernie
had such a long stretch?
Er...
He got away with a quarter
of a million pounds.
And even in those years,
it was a big tickle.
And they never recovered
a penny piece.
Wasn't he also done
for attempted m*rder?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll fill you in about that later, Terence.
- Thursday, you say?
- That's right.
- And he did say you...
- Yeah, I know, you want a drink, double.
Double 50.
- That's a bit strong, innit?
- That's what Ernie said.
He said you'd get it back
in a couple of days.
Get us a drink, Terry.
Arthur Daley is gonna meet him
outside the nick.
Oh, yeah.
- Is Daley in it?
- Don't make me laugh.
Arthur is a loveable rogue,
they say.
Oh, yes, he'd like to get his hands
on some of the money
but he wouldn't cross Ernie.
No.
I want that money.
I'm due for that.
You always say "I",
Mr Billings.
Hmm?
Oh, sorry, we.
Partners, eh?
Well, obviously I need you.
Not quite as...
nippy as in the old days.
You're not, are you?
Bring the tools in, will you?
OK.
It's a bit stuffy in here.
Can we talk outside?
Why not?
What makes you so sure
the money is still around?
Well, I know.
Simple, eh.
Very clever, old Ernie.
Always a loner,
didn't trust anybody.
No, I know.
Why did he try to break out
all the time?
And...
when I was a senior officer on that case
I even put up a deal to him.
And do you know what he said?
"Mr Billings," he said,
"I shall have a beautiful pension
for the rest of my life,
and you, Superintendent,
with your pension...
you'll have to work
part-time."
And he was right as well.
I sell some of these vegetables.
Ernie reckons
that you fitted him up.
Yeah.
I won, didn't I?
Even had a judge's commendation.
It's a long time now.
Ernie remembers as well.
You must have been a right
little scallywag in the past.
Ehm.
I had a reputation.
As what?
I knew people, lots of people.
People like Ernie.
Top man.
When Ernie told people
they jumped.
And you were one of them
who jumped, were you?
What me?
No, not me.
He's a wicked man though.
Very Funny.
- Funny?
- Mm.
Call him funny?
He tried to m*rder a geezer!
That was just high spirits
when he was a lad.
Oh fine! Well that's alright then,
isn't it? Yeah.
Anyway, he was innocent.
Everyone knew that.
No. Ernie, Ernie, you see,
he's got the mark of Cain.
Eh?
In the bible.
Cain.
Like Michael?
Yeah?
Same name.
Different fella.
Do you remember when you came out?
Yeah, I remember.
No bother, you said.
You were a right little Jack the lad.
You see you were nothing really.
I mean Ernie...
Ernie is a sort of celebrity.
I hope that's not him.
Nah.
Oh, my gawd, it is.
My dear old friend, Ernie,
you look great.
Really great.
This is Terry,
my dear old pal.
- Terry, shake hands with Ernie Dodds.
- Hello, mate. Ow!
- Let Terry take that.
- I'll look after the budgie.
What are you talking about?
Budgie? Is that what you're saying?
- Yeah?
- Well, it ain't, you see?
That's the common bullfinch
or the European
Pyrrhula pyrrhula.
Yeah, course it is, Terry.
- Seems like a budgie to me.
- Well, it ain't.
[COOING]
Right, there we go.
Ha-ha-ha,
clocking the birds, Ernie?
Yeah, it's nice, innit?
- He's beautiful.
- Yeah, no trouble at all, is he.
- I had him for months.
- Really?
I nursed him, I tended him.
I mended his broken wing.
Yeah, I saw the film.
You being funny?
No. There was a film about it,
wasn't there?
I don't know anything about that.
Who was the geezer in it?
Big fella, lots of teeth.
Burt Lancaster, that's the one.
You're looking fit, Ernie.
Yeah.
- What was all that about?
- That was a load of rubbish.
- Сlothes?
- I don't want anything from them.
I came in wearing a nice suit
and I came out wearing the same suit.
- Sod them.
- Yeah, you're quite right, Ernie.
Why not?
This suit comes back in a fashion now.
Yeah.
That's 40 years old.
That's what I mean.
Always suits like that one.
You were always
a snappy dresser, Ernie.
Was I?
C'mon.
Were do we want to go?
Hampstead.
Nice point in London.
Yeah.
Dear old London.
- You was always a romantic, Ernie.
- Was that?
What were you missed most,
Ernie?
I mean, beeing away you missed er...
well, you missed miniskirts.
The fella went to the Moon,
but there was nothing there.
There was music.
Well, you couldn't name that stuff music.
You would't like that.
And little Cliff Richards's still around.
Still about young boy.
And there was The Three-Day Week,
digital clocks, Muhammad Ali.
Oh, I believe there is something called WAT
but don't worry yourself about that.
All in all that was the
I've seen the newspapers,
you know?
I'm only marking your card,
Ernie.
I mean, Chelsea were up and down
like the earlier.
Arthur, he's been in the Scrubs
not bleeding Devil's island.
I'm better informed then you
probably.
Never mind the newspapers,
I've read books.
- Lots of books.
- I know, I know.
You always liked a book
even in the old days.
Did I?
Er, where er... where are you
thinking of living, Ernie?
Got any ideas?
Ow, flats are very hard to come by.
Didn't... Didn't you have a sister
down Croydon way?
How do I know?
I haven't seen her
since my old mother's funeral
in 1962.
- God bless her.
- No other relatives?
Look, Arthur,
I'm not looking for lodgings.
Ernie, please.
My home is your home.
The thing is
it's a tiny little flat.
- Kids growing up, you know.
- Sure.
Pity you didn't have kids, isn't it?
It'd be nice if you had a daughter
with a place in the country.
Yeah,
well, I haven't.
See, the thing is, I haven't told
'er indoors about you staying.
Forget it.
Hey, you,
whatever your name is...
- Terry.
- Yeah, Terry.
Pull in here, will you?
Bring the cage.
Nice manor, this, innit?
Yeah.
No,
I think I'll stay in a big hotel.
- Something flash and comfortable.
- Oh, that's nice.
And you've earned it.
And you've got the money I imagine.
I got plenty.
Don't worry about me.
[SQUAWKS]
[SQUAWKS]
[SIGHS]
Well, what do you reckon?
Will he make it?
Oh, he'll be all right
when he finds his mates.
The way he's going now
he'll end up back at the Scrubs.
I had lots of good times with him.
Oh, yeah?
What was his name?
Name?
He's a bird.
Are you stupid or something?
He's not a fella.
I'm sorry.
Yeah. Right.
Off to the West End
to get some gear.
You got any money?
Er, yeah...
er... yeah,
- obviously I've got...
- How much?
Well...
about £450.
All right, give us the £450.
Er, yeah, but...
You'll get it back, Arthur,
in three days.
I'm gonna need you fellas.
I've still got some enemies, you know?
You, Ernie, never.
Always
a very highly respected man.
Well, rivals.
Yeah. Not now.
I mean...
A few unfriendly people, but...
most of them are either dead or retired
by now.
That's what you should think about,
Ernie. Retiring.
- Me?
- Yeah.
You get your pension,
free bus pass,
nice little place in Southend
or Marbella.
- Nice little hobby.
- Ah, shut up, Arthur!
No, he's right, Ernie.
You've think about putting your feet up.
Who are you?
What am I, an old fella or something?
What do you want me to be?
A lollipop man, is that it?
I just served 14 years.
I tried to escape
three times.
I was in solitary for years.
I wore yellow patches on my sleeve
for most of my sentence.
No parole for me, son.
Nah,
but they didn't break me.
Ernie Dodds is back
and there's a few old scores
to settle.
Yeah.
Game little bleeder, ain't he?
Yeah, he's game all right.
But what sort of game?
Actually, that's not bad, is it?
Look at the price.
Put it down.
Do you remember George Raft?
Scarface.
- How do I look?
- The business, Ernie, the business.
What? No-one would ever think
he was a gangster, would they?
Terry...
Look at your gear.
You look like one of them joggers.
Quite right. I keep telling him
to get a nice suit.
Very nice, sir.
I think it was made for you, sir.
- I'll take it.
- Thank you, sir.
- Account customer, sir?
- No, cash, young man.
And how about a discount?
Say 10%?
- I'm sorry, sir.
- Yeah, so am I.
Top hotel?
No pyjamas,
no dressing gown?
The man's right, you know.
Oh, well,
I got a bit left.
He can get them.
- Terry, all right? Terry.
- Yeah, yeah, Terry.
Black pyjamas,
size 40, got that?
I think I can remember 40.
What about the dressing gown, black?
- Naturally.
- Get receipts.
Naturally.
I'll tell you what else
you didn't get.
Nice belt. Crocodile or something
with a nice gold buckle, eh?
- Gold?
- Well, gold-plated then.
I like it. In time
I'll get to like you too, Terry.
- I'm a little diamond, me.
- Diamond?
Just a figure of speech, Arthur.
I need some walking-about money,
Arthur.
Petty cash.
Look, Ernie, I'm not saying
you won't give it back, but em...
when do you expect
to get your money?
- Three days.
- Oh, I see.
- It's in the country, is it?
- It's in a bank.
- A bank?
- Yeah.
But I thought... I thought you nicked it
from a bank in the first place?
- And I put it in another bank.
- I don't believe it.
Yeah, it's in a deposit account.
That's why I have to give
prior notice
of three days
before I can get it out.
All that dough?
- Yeah.
- And interest.
I've always said that this country
has got one of the finest
banking systems in the world.
Yeah. Your Swiss bank account
is all very well,
but there's nothing wrong with the
Old Lady of Threadneedle Street.
Eahrr.
No one ever gave me any favours.
That screw Spencer,
he was better than most
so-called friends.
- Never trust a villain, eh, Arthur?
- No.
The Code of the Underworld...
eh, eh, eh.
There's a joke for you.
Ron Grundy grassed me.
Some guy was gonna get me
a motor launch.
Ten grand.
Never saw him.
And I bought a car off you.
- Me?
- Yeah.
Daimler. 990 quid.
Oh! As it happens,
that motor I remember now.
I got a very small margin of profit
on that car.
Few pennies
over the book price.
Ah, it's...
peanuts, Arthur.
Some other guy had an aeroplane.
He was gonna drive me to Belgium.
I waited in the field in Essex
and he never showed up.
The money was dwindling away.
- Plastic surgeon?
- You think I haven't tried that?
Top man so they told me.
You know, I don't think he ever
touched me.
You remember in them days
I had a moustache?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- You know what he done?
On my life,
he shaved the moustache off.
And I looked more like me
than I was before.
Harley Street, was he?
I wasn't doing it on the
National Health, was I?
That was 20 grand extra.
Oh, dear.
Ah...
Top your glass up, Arthur.
Yeah, I think I will.
You see, I mean,
I couldn't hide it under the floorboards.
I didn't have a room,
never mind a floor.
And I couldn't trust Beryl.
Ah, dear old Beryl.
Whatever happened to her?
She went to Rhodesia.
She thought it was a real white country.
Anyway, I thought
and I thought,
I was odds on for capture,
you know.
[SNAPS FINGERS]
Then I had the idea.
I put the rest of the money
in the bank.
- Clever, wasn't it?
- Amazing.
- Eh. What about references?
- Noah.
When you take your money out
they need references.
But they're not so clever
when you're putting money in.
Excuse me,
you must be Terry?
And you must be the Pools girl?
You're not that lucky.
Can I have a little word with you?
Of course you can.
Hold on, that ain't your husband,
is it?
Look inside the car.
That's my father,
Ron Grundy.
Well, he's got
a very lovely daughter.
And she's got a lot of
expensive habits.
Like what?
I had a very deprived childhood.
My father was away
for a long time.
So was mine, but he didn't buy me
nice motors like that.
I'm a hardworking girl.
Oh.
I think perhaps you and I ought
to have a little c*ck, Terry.
- Why?
- Proposition.
Sexual, I hope.
You never know.
But I was thinking of something else.
No, the thing is I'm a bit busy
at the moment.
A couple of minutes?
You see, I can't stand
the company of screws.
Just me and you.
My name's Kate.
Yeah, all right, Kate.
You stay with my father.
You can sit in the car.
You'd like that.
Ta.
No, no, no, I'll get it.
- How much?
- £1.52, please, sir.
There you go. Ta.
You
know Mr Billings?
No, I don't. No. I thought we're
gonna have a private little chat.
Hello, McCann.
No, I don't know you, pal.
But I get the message.
They've all got the same way
of talking.
Sorry about that.
Retired now.
- No, I don't want to know.
- Terry, don't be stupid.
Yes, that's right.
At least hear us out.
Come on.
All right, I'm sitting comfortably.
Begin.
Yeah.
You're not a friend of
Ernie Dodds, are you?
I mean, you don't
owe him anything?
Different generation.
And what do you get, a monkey?
And Arthur - a grand maybe,
services rented.
We are talking about
real money.
- You gonna nick his dough?
- Not nick.
There is plenty enough
for everybody.
My dad didn't get a penny
and he was on the job.
And what about you,
mister?
Billings is the name.
Well, you could say
I was associated with the case.
And super screw out there?
Her junior partner.
He's very close to Ernie.
But what we've got here is more like
a consortium.
Like one of them
big oil companies, eh?
Well, sort of.
We're exploring for money.
Why don't you just leave him alone?
He's done his time, innit?
I'm surprised about you, Terry.
You could be a rich man.
- Oh, how's that?
- You could be the man on the inside.
I could be the man
right inside.
[CHUCKLES]
Thieving from a thief?
You're a right little charmer, aren't you?
Gonna make a lovely mum.
Terry, don't be an idiot.
We're going to get that money
one way or another.
If you're around it's more difficult,
that's all.
That's all.
- What are you gonna do?
- There are four of us.
What? Two old-age pensioners,
you, super screw?
Oh, we're surrounded, are we?
Terry.
Get on the right side.
- Your side?
- Yeah.
Here's my number.
We don't need the others.
You're a right little fighter,
aren't you?
Will you call me?
Got your number, ain't I.
Oh.
Knocked 'em up
while you waited?
I obviously had to get the best gear,
didn't I?
- You having a little Moriarty?
- Yeah.
- Have some champers.
- Cheers.
That's nice.
You've got taste.
I wouldn't have believed it.
He's a natty dresser, isn't he?
- Receipts?
- Oh, yes, yes, yes.
- Ta.
- Welcome.
What?
Eh?
- Where did you get that stuff?
- Liberty's.
You can say that again.
You said yourself,
top man, ain't he?
Pyjamas!
You can get a three-piece suit
for that!
Not, in there you couldn't.
I couldn't get him dodgy schmutter,
could I?
- Oh, dear.
- Oops.
- What?
- Nothing.
Here we are, then.
- Handsome, innit?
- Amazing.
Yeah. It's seems very nice.
He's got an eye for a dressing gown, Terry.
Oh, listen.
Do you know a geezer called Grundy?
- What about him?
- He's downstairs.
- I'll throttle him.
- Don't get out of your pram.
That's it, Ernie, sit down,
have a little drink.
- What's the strength, Terry?
- There's four of 'em.
And they want his dough.
Or some of it.
- Er... Billings?
- He put me inside.
- And there's Spencer the screw.
- Who else?
Grundy's daughter,
Kate.
- We don't need to think about her.
- Wanna bet?
It's like Bonnie and Clyde
it is.
- What both of them?
- Yeah.
With a bit of Ma Parker
thrown in as well.
That's a turn-up.
I can see him.
Grundy.
He's got old now.
You got a sh**ter?
No. I haven't even got a steel comb.
Pity.
I could k*ll him from here.
Now, now, Ernie.
Ah, it's just a joke.
What are you worried about?
- I like a fight.
- We don't want any of that, thank you.
You're right.
Forget him.
Tomorrow we go to the bank.
And then we'll sort 'em out.
Mr John Graham.
Want see the man.
You ever thought of that, Terence?
Nice little pension fund account?
What with?
Money.
Open a bank account.
They've got all sorts of facilities
in a bank like this.
- Here's a handy one for you.
- What's that?
Death benefits and wills.
[LAUGHING]
See, he has got you have not got.
Respect.
- He probably even remember his name.
- I bleeding hope not.
Shh!
I meant his nom de plume,
his alias.
What's happened to old Mr Knight?
Oh, he retired a few years ago.
Now I understand
from my clerk
that you used to have
a deposit account here.
That's right. I still have.
AG273341.
There might be a slight misunderstanding.
I'll just check the figures.
Oh, yes, money in the bank,
as they say.
Prudence, Terence,
that is the name of the game.
Nice little nest egg.
With the money you get me
I can't even afford an Easter egg.
Well, if you will go clubbing
and birding all the time.
Ai?
I mean, Paul Getty didn't go gallivanting
round his manor, did he?
He was in his room
looking at paintings, reading books.
Telephoning his bank manager.
Buying an oil well.
Have your own bank.
Yeah. Look at this, look.
They even arrange
travellers' cheques for you.
Do they take those in Bognor?
You may scoff, my son,
but if you have a bank account,
you have respect.
A nice cheque book.
A little bit of plastic.
Then how come you
never take cheques, eh?
How come it's always got to be cash,
money in the hand?
Because that is business.
Everyone knows that, aren't they?
Bit of your folding green stuff.
I am talking about status, Terry.
I mean, look, look,
can you beat that?
"We are even open
when we are closed."
That is handy, innit?
Well, sir, unless our records
are wrong
and I'm pretty sure
about our records, [COUGHS]
apparently you closed
the account in 1975.
Closed the account?
What the hell are you talking about?
As I say, in 1975...
I don't want to know anything
about 1975.
I've never taken a bloody penny
out of this account.
But the clerk has just
looked at the records.
Records?
All right, just a minute,
just wait a minute.
I'll check the figures again.
A, G...
That is marvellous.
They even have branches
where you can drive in
and get your dough
without getting out of your motor.
Takeaway,
cash and carry, innit? [CHUCKLES]
It is handy, that. Don't even need
a good wheels man, do you?
Now that is what I call
consumer service.
What about the punters
who ain't got a car?
Punters who ain't...
People like that
shouldn't have bank accounts
in the first place, shouldn't they?
As I said before,
we're talking about status.
I'm quite sure
there's been no irregularity.
I put all my money in your bank,
right.
Now you've told me it's gone.
So somebody must have nicked it.
- Did you say "nicked"?
- Yes, nicked.
Well, if that's the case,
we must call the police.
Nah, nah, nah,
I don't like the police.
Oh, really, why?
Where did old Mr Knight retire?
I hope
you're not suggesting...
Was it about the time I terminated
my account with this bank?
Mr Knight was a fine servant
of the bank.
- Was?
- Well, he died two years ago
on a golfing holiday in Portugal.
I could give that a bit of credit.
Thieves, thieves, you people!
You're bent!
Thieves, the lot of you!
Thieves! Bent!
The whole lot of you!
Ernie!
He forgot to sign his standing order.
What's the matter,
Ernie?
- They've turned me over!
- Who?
- They've done me like a kipper.
- Who?
Not the bank.
Banks don't do things like that.
They bloody well do!
Let's just simmer down and get
in the motor. Alright? Alright? No...
- I've gone off you... again.
- Sorry.
Don't let them get away!
No, no, hold on.
This is no time for a conference.
- Just a minute.
- No. He's had a bit of a shock.
We all have.
Got it?
- That's flat.
- Like life.
- Hundreds of 'em.
- What?
Knights, Knights,
bloody Knights.
What were you gonna do anyway?
- Find the widow.
- And then what?
Say, excuse me, did you husband
die two years ago
and did he say anything
about a pot of paint?
You got a better idea?
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Here, sir.
- Hm.
Give him a bung.
I still can't believe it.
I mean, the bank manager.
Are you sure, Ernie, you didn't tell
somebody about the account?
Yeah.
They stand a chance.
That bill is well over the top.
Oh, God! 224 pounds 82 p.
Plus WAT.
Ah, forget it.
We can always duck out of that.
How can we? You put my address
on the register, remember?
Oh, it's not all that.
What you mean "it's not all that"!
- 82 p. Plus...
- Don't you start.
- It's flat.
- I don't care.
From now on
I'm drinking bath water.
- This is all down to me, innit?
- Don't worry, you'll get it back.
Just a minute. Just a minute.
All bets are canceled. Don't touch that thing.
Do you know what it cost
to use it in Dob and Bornea?
You'll have a weekend in Brigthon
for just dialing time.
Terrence,
retrieve the instrument.
I'm sorry, son.
For once Arthur is right.
He certanly is.
Now, I suggest, you pack up
your expensive pyjamas,
courtecy of big spender Terry
and all the other gear,
We're mooving out from this delux
establishment to some humble, I guess.
Where do you suggest?
- His little place.
- My?
Oh. No.
I'm sorry, no, no.
I've... I've got a bit...
you know, tonight.
I don't care if you got
a bit of "you know"
with Miss World, Rachel Welsh
and entire Daggen and Gold Pipers.
Tonight Ernie
is your house guest.
Grundy!
Hey! Listen, listen. I'm warning you
I'm goona chin you, little man.
- Leave him. I don't care.
- You shut up as well.
Mr Dodds,
my father is entitled to his cut.
- Cut?! I'll cut his ear!
- Look, look.
Just get hold of your old man.
Ernie and me we're going. Come on.
- We're talking about money!
- That's a laught. What money?
That's right.
Shine out all the world.
- Just get in, nice son.
- I don't believe you.
Oi! Are you deaf or something?
Can you hear the man?
- The dough is gone.
- Terry, don't let her in his clothes.
Hey, Ernie reckone
that Mr Knight did a runner.
- Who?
- Mr Knight.
The bank manager.
Should have left it with a woolly,
should't he?
At least we got a name,
ain't we?
So what?
Oh, I still got some old friends,
you know?
- We will go out later.
- No.
- Down to the boozer.
- Naeh...
Got any books?
Yeah, I got a few paperbacks
by the bed.
Natural history?
No, no.
Nothing near that.
Best crimes of the century.
- You trying to be funny?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Ehm.
Here you go.
Run.
[SIGHS]
I'm not hungry.
That's nice, innit?
First you want a bacon salamy.
Just leave me alone.
Yeah, alright.
I will.
Not exactly
a bundle of laughs though, are you?
Where are you going?
Well, as it happend,
I had arrange to meet with Richie.
But with you sleep on a spare bed
which happens to be the sofa
She is not too keen on you
clocking the action.
- Neither am I.
- Well, I don't care.
I'm bleeding do.
Anyway I phoned her.
Where it going?
Look, Ernie,
you don't want to eat,
you don't want go out,
you don't want to talk.
- I'm coming with you.
- Alright, alright.
Long out times for them years,
innit?
Yeah.
But don't pity me, right?
Right.
I used come here...
[LAUGHTS]
Who care, don't forget it.
- Terry...
- Now you gonna be off,
- or I'll punch you.
- Yeah.
- Yes?
- You didn't phone.
About what?
Wheels within wheels.
Do what?
Can we have a chat,
Mr Dodds?
[COMPUTER GAME SOUNDS]
Haven't you play this game
before?
Nah.
They don't have them in the nick.
Sorry.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
I hope you don't play for money
cos I haven't got any.
There is always a hope.
I have the address.
The widow.
Interested?
- You are a greedy girl, you know?
- That's right.
The model's life is sweet
and short.
Now I don't need Billings and Spencer.
But I need you.
- Let's see the address.
- Let's talk about deal.
I...
me... personally...
I have lost money.
[SIGHS]
You do understand it,
do you?
I know that, Mr Daley,
but now we've got the address.
- Contacts, see?
- Alright...
So we can ditch Grundy
and his daughter
- Oh, I don't care.
- I have lost money.
Obviously.
I only want to recoupe
my expences.
Just... just...
just the expences.
Obviously
a bob or two for the...
- aggravation...
- Yeah, that's right.
But what's worrying me...
what's worrying me is
you'll not see a penny of this money.
- Why?
- Because merry widow...
has got the dough.
See what you're gonna do,
you're gonna pin it to the floor,
- get a court order...
- She is an accessory to the fact.
- What?
- Her husband was a thief,
she is harbouring
the stolen good.
[CHUCKLES]
She gonna call the police?
There still a reward
for the original robbery.
Never mind the manager
nicking Ernie's loot.
Eh, maybe she got
a couple of Rollers
in the garage, she wouldn't want
to loose those, would she?
All we want is
a fair percentage.
That's right, isn't it?
Eh?
And you got a muscle, Terry.
I mean, there might be guard dogs.
Servants.
Two big brawny sons.
Hey.
In fact we don't even need Ernie.
Don't need Ernie.
Just a thought.
No, no. Just... just a minute.
Are you suggesting
- we elbow Ernie?
- No, eh. No. Of course not.
No, no, no. Just a minute.
Let... Let... Let me just say something.
- I am an honest man.
- Mmm.
Ask anybody.
True is a driven snow.
My word is my bond.
But what you one suggesting
is dishonest
scandalous
and diabolical.
- Look, forget it.
- No, no, no, no.
Oh, no.
I will not never forget.
In fact, I would remember
this dastardly suggestion
to the end of my
dying days.
- Honestly a wittycism.
- Me too.
You don't deep in your pocket a lot,
do you?
- But since you have found the address...
- I have.
which is very clever,
very clever.
And I'm sure, Ernie
will handsomely remunerate you...
for your labour.
But...
since I'm the only one
with his own pocket...
I think I'm entitled
to a little bonus all to myself.
large vodka 'n slimlime.
- Don't! Stop it!
- Let him. Let him go.
- I'll have him. In your own.
- Listen you two!
Ergh!.. Grass!
Super grass.
- Will you shut up?!
- Not me! Grass? Me?
God, no... Two geriatical
hooligans on my hands.
One of thouse two send me
in the nick 12 times
and I never said a word,
right?
And no evidence against me.
I could've shopped you any day.
Look.
Both of you.
Calm down, would you?
Stand still, just be quet, right?
That's better.
Then we going in flat
and talk about it.
C'mon, get in here.
And behave yourself.
Neigbours...
- You never contacted me.
- I was very busy at the time.
- And it is my dough.
- I don't want any.
You did your burn,
it's yours.
Why do you keep following me
about all the time?
Just to set the records straight.
- Yeah?
- Here you go, you two.
- Thanks.
- Thanks, Terry.
You don't need to worry
about me.
Kate's the one you should worry about.
A very hard girl.
Yeah, we know that.
- She must get it from her mother.
- You're a bit hard yourself from.
Me?
A bit of the scoundrel but not hard.
No?
What about the time
you threw Charly Barney
through the window
and it wasn't even open.
Yeah, but I was just
a whipper-snapper then.
- He was handy in those days.
- Should I be impressed?
He could done you
in 2 seconds.
Good.
He'll look after you then.
I'll go to bed.
Nah, Terry.
Wait. Sit down.
You might hear something
about the old days.
All that yesterdays?
Memory lane?
No, you're worse
then a couple of old fighters, you.
Forget him.
Did you see anything
about Bob Toppin?
Yeah.
Very bad with his heart.
- Eh.
- But his son...
he is a solicitor now.
- That's handy.
- Yeah,
considering his other lad
is on bail for
dodgy credit cards.
[LIVELY MUSIC]
Plain, innit?
It's almost like a country.
I can smell the money
in this area.
Or maybe not.
Here. This address is a pet shop.
We weren't talking
about chicken feed.
Not exactly Harrods,
innit?
A bit lonely, either.
[LOUD CRIES OF BIRDS]
Your husband stole my money.
- I'm sure he didn't.
- he did, Missis.
Absolutly true.
Whooh.
He never said anything about it.
No, he wouldn't, would he?
Probably left you a tidy sum.
Charles?
Oh, dear. Hardly a penny.
I'm affraid
my Charles was a dreamer.
- What is that mean?
- Oh, wonderful schemes.
Scatter-brains sort of things.
A mink farm in Scotland.
[CHUCKLES]
- They're all escaped.
- Yeah, and then what?
Hotel.
- In Ireland.
- Yes, don't tell me. A b*mb.
- Yes.
- Ulster?
He thought everything
was going to settle down.
Yeah...
Well, it wouldn't, would it?
Then horses.
[SIGHTS]
He bought six. He had this vision of...
winning The Grand National.
- Where're they?
- Oh, two had to be destroyed,
one is still lame
and the other three, well...
he just sold them for a some.
He was a fool to himself.
You just going to swallow that,
are you?
Have you got any better ideas?
Sometimes I wondered
where he got the money?
But if you think my Charles
did something wrong...
well, perhaps
we better call the police.
Hey, were did you get
your goldfish?
Oh, from a very nice man
from Worthing.
- Are you an aquarist?
- Oh, no, no, no. I...
- I doubt about it.
- Sod the goldfish!
She is calling it.
I want my wages.
I gave you enough favors.
I didn't think it was
from the goodnes of your heart.
Spencer,
just shut up.
You don't care, do you?
You're old. You don't need a money.
Well, I do!
It will look very good
on a sunday papers.
Crooky bank manager.
Old villain.
Dodgy old copper.
Sexy model.
- He wouldn't do that.
- Oh, yes. He would.
Really need that.
Go and get him rather.
Rather's gonna buy you a raincoat,
you know that?
[PARROT SCREAMS]
Spencer!
Mine is faster.
You're at least.
My man would take care
of the situation.
Well, Missis Knight,
it seems that you have a new partner.
Oi, you,
through the gate!
Spencer!
You right...
Nah....
You're not even in my class,
are you?
Yeah, I know your game, son.
Three big heavy screws
and only one geezer, right? Right?!
I used to dream about getting
geezer like you, you know that?
Outside!
They don't worry me anymore.
You know that Ernie?
He's done his time, innit?
He is a villain, you're quite right.
But he ain't greedy, see?
He's a thief, yeah. But he's not greedy.
Now, you...
Look at you.
You're driping with greed!
Now, I just warning you
You'll talk to the papers
and I'm gonna find you.
And I don't care
if I do true years for you.
Thanks.
You don't really like me,
do you?
I like some of you.
Well, you got my number
anyway.
No, no.
I think I lost that.
- Well, in that case I...
- Yeah. See you around...
if you're lucky.
Yeah, a bit peaky
some of them.
Oh, real expert.
No, you can call it
a long life study.
Look at that one.
He's got a rhacnet.
It's common enough pest.
- Well, like Arthur you mean.
- Oh, very droll.
Gives a little smack to inoffensive screw,
he is quite Jack the Lad.
I thought you done very well,
Terry.
Yeah. Never mind the congratulations,
Ernie. I'm out the pocket.
I tell you what.
Do you remember when I was...
about,
I bought car off you?
I remember it well. Lovely motor.
Still a grand.
One lady owner,
scrupulously service.
- Broke down 2 days later.
- Warranty.
Not 14 years later.
- Quits?
- But Ernie, didn't I tell...
- Arhtur.
- What?
- Yor shoes... they're snakeskin?
- No, they never.
- Look, I've spend about...
- Wanna bet?
Terry, they are...
O-o-oh! Terry!
THE PARROT: Oh, that's pretty boy.
DENNIS WATERMAN:
"I Could Be So Good For You"
♪ If you want to
I'll change the situation
♪ Right people right time
♪ Just the wrong location
♪ I've got a good idea
♪ Just you keep me near,
I'll be so good for you
♪ I could be so good for you,
I'm gonna help you
♪ Love you like you want me to
♪ I'll do anything for you ooh-ooh
♪ I'll be so good for you
♪ I could be so good for you
♪ I'll do it like you want me to
♪ Love you like you want me to
♪ There ain't nothing
I can't go through ooh-ooh
♪ I'll be so good for you ♪
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