03x30 - Operation: Lunacorn Apocalypse

[bunniefuu]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

SINGER: The sea
mammal on a roll.

Evil swims in his soul.

You will fear his
flipper's clutch.

Surprisingly smooth
to the touch.

Look out below for
a fluke-tailed foe.

He's Dr. Blowhole.

-Anti-gravity socks field test.

Activating now.

Oh, sweet.

Yeah-- oh, whoa.

[YELLING]

[GRUNTING]

-OK, nobody saw.

-Hey.

[YELLING]

-You Kowalski?

-Yes.

[CLEARS THROAT] Yes, yes, I am.

-Come with me.

-Excuse me, sir,
but I don't just

wonder off with
strange platypuses.

Or is it platypi?

Platypuseses?

-You'll come if I
say the right word.

-And what word would that be?

[YELLING]

-I don't know when I'll be back.

Maybe never.

Nice knowing you.

-All right.

-What was that about?

-Well, let's find that.

We'll check the
surveillance tapes.

[BUZZING]

-You watch everything
Kowalski does?

-Well, yeah.

But, uh, just Kowalski,
because, you know,

he's kind of a nut job.

I mean, you're cool.

I'd never do that
to, uh, you guys.

-Hark, skipper, give the
option for being a fuddy duddy.

-Oh. [BURPS]

-You'll come if I
say the right word.

And what word would that be?

-Doris.

[GASPS]

-That is 10 pounds of
trouble in a three-pound bag.

-[GASPING] You do
watch everything we do.

-She needs me?

-Her very words.

Said you're the smartest
guy she's ever met.

-Ah, always knew Doris would
come to her senses some day.

It's the casual
confidence I exude,

my effortless aplomb,
a sense of suave.

DORIS: Kowalski.

Hey you.

[STUTTERING]

-Doris?

-Kowalski.

-You-- you still got the,
ah, pretty [INAUDIBLE].

[GIGGLING]

-You haven't changed a bit.

Oh, Kowalski.

It's really nice to see you.

[PURRING]

-Now take a deep
breath then respond.

-OK.

Nice to see you, too.

-Didn't I tell you
he's great, baby?

Baby?

-Oh yeah, guy's got it going
on, just like you said, sweetie.

-Sweetie?

[MAKING DELIRIOUS NOISES]

-I hope we're not
too late to talk.

-And/or pound some sense
into Kowalski's oblong head.

-Duck!

-Really, Skipper, Doris
can't be that bad, can she?

-Private, the first time
Doris rejected Kowalski,

he refused to leave his
bunk for six months.

-Duck!

-Six months?

-Yup.

Didn't even move once.

Believe you me, that
duty was not pleasant.

-Duck!

-Oh, it'll never work, Doris.

Is he bird?

Is he mammal?

If he can't commit to a species,
how can he commit to you?

-Listen, I've heard this
all before, except then it

was about Doug the
Porpoise or Harry

the Octopus or Pete the Manatee.

-He was ugly on the inside, too.

-Listen, Kowalski.

I like you.

I do.

I really like you.

I like you.

But I'm never going
to like you like you?

Can you understand that?

[WHIMPERING]

[GRUNTING]

-Get Kowalski away
from her, men.

Excessive force is
approved and encouraged.

-Oh boy.

[YELLING]

-Force, excessive or otherwise,
won't be necessary, Skipper.

-Oh really?

Because Rico hocked
up a lead pipe.

And I've got a hankering
to use this thing.

-Sorry.

I just want to go home and
be forever alone in my bunk.

-[TOGETHER] Eww.

-Hold on, pal.

Doris didn't bring you here
just to rip your heart out.

-Oh.

There's more?

What, is she going to compost
it for a victory garden she's

planting that consists entirely
of broccoli, which, by the way,

I despite?

-Have you tried it with cheese?

-No, I haven't.

-Quite good with cheese.

-No, I need your help, Kowalski.

It's my brother, Francis.

He's a prisoner.

A prisoner of Seaville.

-Seaville Aqua Fun Park.

Security is beyond
state-of-the-art.

It's the Fort Knox
of aqua fun parks.

-That's why we need you, ace.

You got the tech skills we
need to free Doris's brother.

-All this time, I never
even knew she had a brother.

-Francis.

Likes-- seaweed and swimming.

Dislikes-- nets.

Any other pointless
facts you need to know?

-Um, no.

-Then here's what I
need to know-- you in?

-Just, uh, give me a moment to
discuss with my compatriots.

Upside-- if I can
rescue Doris's brother,

I can shove that right in
Parker's smug duck face.

Downside-- the only
fortress harder

to penetrate than Seaville
is Doris's own heart.

-And my side-- we
do this, you're

not fulfilling your own bunk.

We're in.

-They're in.

-Yes!

-What, wha?

[INAUDIBLE]

No, no, forget it, boys.

Turn off the dancing waters.

The penguins totally upstaged
us with their trained fish.

Stupid penguins.

-Skipper's log.

We run site, we run deep, right
up to Seaville's back door.

-Covert as*ault team launch.

-Do I have to be
on a team with him?

-Here we go.

-Kowalski, Rico's hypnotised
by the ping machine.

-Ping, ping, ping.

-And I promised Private
I'd let him steer.

-Look at me.

I'm doing a bang-up
job, aren't I, Skipper?

SKIPPER: Yes,
Private, bang-up job.

So Parker's your man.

Now covert as*ault team launch.

Pronto.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Security control is this way.

Follow me, if you can.

[GRUNTING]

-How about you follow me?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-They're using AES encryption?

Pfft.

Amateurs.

-So you can crack it?

-Is unaquatium a noble gas?

It totally is!

You were like, what?

[SNICKERING]

-And you wonder why Doris
doesn't like you like you.

-Nice work, Kowalski.

-Ahem, don't you mean,
"exceptional work," Skipper?

I mean, really, who else
could have done this?

Answer, nobody but this
guy right here-- me,

the brainy guy.

-Geez, yeah, OK.

Don't dislocate a flipper
patting yourself on the back.

-Ahem, Oris-day.

-Huh?

Oh.

I mean, yeah.

Kowalski, way to go.

Gold star for you, buddy.

-Huh?

What the hay?

-We got a situation.

-Oh heck.

-No.

Hold your ground.

-You guys see that?

How'd you do that, man?

-Toxic spurs.

-Really, like
standard equipment?

-Yep.

I'm evolutions grab bag.

-Nice!

Kowalski, why don't
you have toxic spurs?

I mean, not like you need them.

I mean, you did a good job.

I do recall a gold star or--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Francis?

Francis, are you in there?

-Oh man, I can't see squat
through this icky black murk.

Rico shed some light
on the subject.

-Got ya.

-It can't be.

-The mind boggles.

-It's Dr. Blowhole.

-Hey, penguins.

You guys new to the park?

You should get
back to your tanks.

They are crazy strict here.

-I don't know what
your game is, Blowhole.

But I will you burn.

You hear me?

Burn in the pits of Hades.

-Blowhole?

No, sorry.

I'm Flippy, Seaville's
second-most popular performer.

Three shows a day,
four on weekends.

-Kowalski, uh, analyse
this freak show.

-Did you say "free show"?

OK, fine.

A few hoop jumps, but that's it.

-Skipper, the last
we saw of Blowhole,

he was a victim of
his own mind-jacking.

He may actually still
believe he is Flippy.

-Here comes the triple backflip.

Woohoo!

-He's not Flippy, and he's
not-- what did you call him?

Dr. Blowhole?

No, he's my brother Francis.

-Sorry, Doris.

That's not Francis.

-That is the Sixth
Svengali of the Seventh

Sea, my arch-nemesis--
Dr. Blowhole.

-Let me straighten this out.

You're all right.

He's both Doris's brother,
Francis, and Dr. Blowhole.

-Ah c'mon.

I'm shaking it down here.

The least you could
do is pay attention.

-And yeah, he's Flippy, too.

-How would you know?

-Because I work for him.

-Skipper!

-I mean, the evil
him, Dr. Blowhole.

-Doris?

-Kowalski, I want to thank you.

I couldn't have done
this without you.

-Parker.

-Heckuva job there, Parker.

Bringing back Dr.
Blowhole and whatnot.

-Even if you is a
little, uh, different.

-Wow, look at the
size of this place.

bet you guys have some
parties in here, am I right?

-Just pay me and
I'll be on my way.

-Eh, yeah, so here's the thing.

We would love to
pay you your money--

-But we can't.

-Start making sense now or I
go thermador on your tails.

-It's not our fault.

Only Dr. Blowhole can sign
off on expenditures over $50.

-But just as soon as his mind
is de-jacked, getting you

paid-- priority one.

-Actually, priority number one
will be Project Bad Tidings.

That energy canon is a rental.

What about my
vacation request form?

-Don't forget the snacks
for the break room

The Cheesy Bits
are wicked stale.

-Point is, getting you paid
is in the top five priorities

just as soon as we
get Dr. Blowhole back.

-Whoo, hey guys.

Did you check out my dive?

Back one and a half
somersault tuck awesome rip

entry, no splash, like a knife.

Oh yeah.

-Hey.

Whoa.

Hey.

Warn a guy when you're
going to do that.

-Restoring Dr. Blowhole is as
simple as pushing a button.

ROBOT VOICE: Plunger.

-Heh, wrong button.

ROBOT VOICE: [INAUDIBLE],
library card,

confetti cannon, chrome claw.

-Oo, go back to the
confetti cannon.

I can use that in my routine.

-This here, uh,
might take a while.

-Ah, Doris.

Glad you're here.

There's a small matter I've
been meaning to take up with you

regarding your
boyfriend, Parker.

[CLEARS THROAT] Told ya1.

-Oh please.

You've been suspicious of
every boyfriend I've ever had.

How was I to know
that this was the one

time that you were
actually right.

ANNOUNCER: Seaville
Amusement Park

is pleased to present
Dottie the Dolphin

and her four foppish
fish, The Nautics.

-Foppish?

Us?

-I know. [INAUDIBLE] of that.

-Think you can do this?

We only get one shot.

-I can.

Just hold on to the rope.

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and
gentlemen, prepare

yourselves for the ring of fire.

-Ohhh.

-This is it, man.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[HARMONICA PLAYING]

-Hey, Manfredi.

-Yeah, what's that, Johnson?

-Was that Skipper?

And the guys?

-Skipper!

-Guys!

-It's us!

-Come back!

-Whew, that cesspool
made Hoboken

look like the French Riviera.

-Let's never go there again.

-There you are showing off
your idea for chrome claw.

Do you remember that?

-No, but nice slide.

I like the composition.

-Oh, planning
Project Bad Tidings.

Remember that?

By the by, that's
totally ready to go

whenever you give the word.

-Here we are on that
three-day weekend in Cancun.

Good times.

Anything bells?

-Fellas, I appreciate your
thinking I'm this Doc Blowhole

guy, but I'm not an
evil aquatic overlord.

I'm Flippy, Seaville's
second-most popular performer.

-Enough already.

I want what's coming to
me and I want it now.

-Happy to oblige, Parker.

-You take Blowhole.

The platypus is mine.

[GRUNTING WHILE FIGHTING]

-Hey, you could hurt
a guy like that.

-Give it up, Blowhole.

-Why does everyone call me that?

I'm Flippy.

F-L-I double-P Y.

-Wait, your mind's
not de-jacked yet?

What's the hold up?

-Please don't fight me.

My health care coverage
hasn't kicked in yet.

Fight him.

-Oh, well this
hardly seems fair.

Told you it wasn't fair.

-How could you do it?

You had the devotion of
that aquatic goddess,

and you betrayed her.

-I didn't want her, never did.

You know, kind of like
how she doesn't want you.

-Your words hurt far more
than any punch possibly could.

Ow.

Punch definitely hurts more.

Stupid land-based fighting.

Hey, what's this?

A-ha.

I am in the game.

Sorry!

OK, how do you drive this thing?

My fault.

That was totally me.

Stop.

Stop.

Why won't you stop?

ROBOT VOICE: Mind-jacker.

-What?

-Eh, huh?

-Eh, who am I?

-Ah-ha, the mind-jacker
was in the backup scooter.

Hehe.

I am totally blushing right now.

Yeah, it's hard to tell.

Er, uh, what were
we talking about?

-Wha-- what?

-Do I know you?

-No idea.

What are we doing anyway?

-Looks like, uh,
we were dancing.

-We've got to get you
out of here, Flippy.

If I get blasted, you get your
memory back, then-- then what?

Who are you?

-Flippy.

Seaville's second-most
popular performer.

Three shows a day,
four on weekends.

-Oo, a real live celebrity.

[YELLING]

-Oh, what was my brother
thinking with this thing?

Mammals are meant for water.

-Sorry, sweetheart.

Just business.

-Wha?

Oh.

I am Dr. Blowhole.

Blowhole is back.

[LAUGHING]

-Good.

Great.

Now about my fee.

-Do I know you?

-Kidding, Parker.

I'll pay up, you little
natural disaster.

First, let's take care
of these penguins.

DORIS: Francis?

-Sis.

Nice to see you.

But around here,
it's Dr. Blowhole.

Commands a little more respect.

-Mum's going to be so
disappointed in you.

And doctor?

How's that work, exactly?

-Internet courses through the
teaching annex, thank you.

Hello everybody.

Who'd like to play a game?

-Me.

-Me.

-Me.

-Me.

-Excellent.

It's called capture
the penguins.

-Did we win?

-Yes.

ANNOUNCER: Mind-jacker.

-You're restoring their minds?

-Of course.

What's the point of
dominating the world

if your arch-rivals don't
even know you did it?

-Blowhole, you
fiendish, finned freak.

-Missed you, too, Skipper.

Good news, though.

You get to watch as
I enact Project--

ROBOT VOICE: Bad Tidings.

-Let me guess.

You're using a
giant tractor beam

to bring the moon
closer to the Earth,

thus creating massive
tidal wave chaos

which will flood
the entire world.

-Well, thank you,
Professor Spoiler.

But you left out the part where
I then rule the entire world.

It's an important part.

It's my favourite part.

-You do that, Francis, and I
swear I will never have you

over for Thanksgiving
ever again.

-Don't worry, Doris.

Not gonna happen.

-Oh, yes it is.

Red One, power up the cannon.

-I mean, you'll try,
but it won't work.

-Of course it'll work.

Open the blast way.

What?

No, no.

What?
Why don't you think it'll work?

-Cavitation.

-I accounted for cavitation.

-And centripetal force.

-I accounted for
centripetal force.

-Plus axis tilt.

-I accounted for that, too.

-Then I guess it's just balance.

-Balance?

-Yeah.

As in, you've got none.

-Super, Kowalski.

-You are not paying
me enough for this.

-I will.

Promise.

-Dolphin exchange.

Let's go.

-No.

No.

No, no, no, no.

-By the way, Project Bad
Tidings would totally work.

-Crab cakes.

I knew it.

Fire the cannon.

[expl*si*n]

-[SHOUTING] No!

Shut it off!

Shut it off!

-Oh, that's no good.

-Skipper, that
thing's going to blow.

-Evacuate.

-Oh dear Look.

-Thanks for the ride, jerks.

-Oh!

-Consider us
officially broken up.

-Doris, lead the way.

-So, is your name
really Francis?

-Sorry that your boyfriend
turned out to be evil.

Not really.

-I guess next time I should
listen to you, Kowalski.

You know, I've never seen
you in action before.

You were so brave and
smart and confident.

It was kinda hot.

-Yeah?

I mean, uh, yeah.

-What I'm trying to say
is I like you Kowalski.

Like you like you.

-Ooh, I like you like you
like you like you, too.

-Oh, sorry.

I just-- um
-Whoops.

Just--

-Maybe if we-- whoops.

-Tilt your head a little.

-Tilt your head a little.

-No-- ah.

-Aww.

-Finally.

-Skipper, do you
suppose we've finally

seen the last of Dr. Blowhole.

-What a delightfully
naive question, Private.

Nope.

Blowhole is my arch-enemy, and
arch-enemies always return.

It wouldn't surprise
me in the least

if he isn't this very moment
rebuilding his evil empire.

-I can't pay you.

My chequebook got destroyed.

What can I do?

[YELLING]

-OK, OK.

I've got some gift
cards you can have.

You like the Pasta Barn?

They've got bottomless salad
and infinite breadsticks.

[MUSIC PLAYING]