03x25 & 03x26 - Marble Jarhead/Goodnight and Good Chuck

[bunniefuu]

Lay some sweet morning surveillance on me, boys!

That`s no good, doggy! Wee-haa!

I don`t know what`s going on at the lemur habitat,
but I do know - we want no part of it!

Oh, "two seconds rule". Still good.

Marlene is okay!

Something strange`s at the chimp habitat, Skipper!

Looks like there`s a... NEEDLE!!!
Code "red"! He`s got a needle!

Is this a start of a needle free-for-all?
First the chimps, then who?

Roger? Marlene? Mark these words -
it ain`t gonna be me! Mark`em! Not me!

You needn`t worry, Skipper.

Judging by this National Space Program Insignia
and this attached picture of Phil...

...I deduce he has been drafted for space exploration.
Specifically, lunar.

Wow-wow-wow! The rocket nerds picked a poo flinger?
Why not a penguin?

Men, for too long chimps have been
a-go-to species for space exploration. No more!

- This time a penguin is going to the moon!
- Yay! Yes!

I `ll disguise myself as Phil, take his place and then once on the moon reveal my penguin identity!

Boom-bam! Little human minds blown everywhere!

Brilliant, Skipper!

- Instantaneous respect for our dignified and proud species!
- Yes!

Just a one small flaw, a tiny teeny error...

I should be the one to go.

- You?!?
- Why you?

Because traversing the inky black void of space...

...is a complicated business requiring a disciplined scientific intellect!

They were gonna send the chimp!
The chimp who eats its toenails!

The only skill involved will be smiling and waving for the cameras of the world.

Right! Which is why I should go!

I am the most photogenic. Sorry...

- I wanna go!
- Pff... You, Rico? Well, I hardly think...

Fi-i-ine... We gonna compete for the glory.

Now is that appeal to your child-like sense of fairness, Private?

Space is way-way-way treacherous.

Exiting the Earth`s atmosphere will subject the astronaut to intense G-forces.

Hit it, Roy!

Consider it checked!

Losing consciousness...

Stupid G-forces...

Weightlessness could induce space queeziness!

Which is a lot like regular queeziness, but... IN SPACE!

Oh, no...

Aw! Good golly! Can you vomit everything but the kitchen sink! A-A-A!!!

Stupid... A-aw...

Factoid - there is no oxygen on the moon.

Holding one`s breath could mean the difference between life or death.

Oh now you`re just showing off!

Stupid lungs!

Ha-ha-ha! I am going to the moon! Yay!

I say, chaps, what ever are the gas masks for?

Silly question... The knockout gas!

Oh, well, that makes...

This is it, Private! You`re off!

Oohk! Oohk! I fancy a banana! Oohk! Oohk...

- Oohk... Oohk...
- Hmm, look better than at picture...

And so the mission begins.

One brave little monkey is on that rocket.
Destination - the moon.

Correction - brave little penguin!

Destination - the history books! Huu-hah!

Private, report!

I`m approaching the moon. It`s... It`s magnificent!

Chuck Charles`s coming to you live from Mission Control.

We are moments away from monkey touchdown!

Initiate the subscale thrusters.

Contact on the moon surface... Three, two, one.

- Oh yeah!
- We`ve nailed that!

A chimp has landed!

Oohk! Oohk! Look at me - I`m on the moon!
Where are the bananas!

I mean, guys, the moon is fantastic!

I can eat peanut butter Winkies and ice lollies all day and I`d still float like a feather!

Focus on the mission, Private! Time to knock those pencilnecks on their corduroy keisters!

Unmask, Private! UNMASK!

Roger, Skipper. Unmasking... now!

Tell us, hard working scientist, what happens next?

Well, Chuck, we will check out the chimp in another twenty five years or so...

But right now we bring the rocket home!

That`s right, world, I am no chimp!
I`m a penguin!

And now... we are a go for LUNCH!

E-ehm... Check my science, Kowalski.
Private needs that rocket to come home, right?

A-ha...

Ha-ha! A penguin, that`s right! Oh, I wish I could see the looks on your silly human faces!

This is the greatest moment in my life!
A greatest moment in any penguin`s life! Ha-ha...

E-ehm... Private? Great work, really great stuff...

- But... we gotta slight SNAFU here on the ground.
- [/i]E-ehm... Oka-ay.[/i]

But still... good job, really-really good... job.
Uh! Another call, gotta go!

Twenty five years! Private stuck up there for...

...twenty five years. Golly, how I`ve missed the Earth!

I can`t wait to catch up on the Lunacorns!
There must be hundreds of episodes waiting... Oh, boy!

Private, the Lunacorns were... canceled!

- Canceled?
- Like two days after you`re left.

NO-O-O-O!!!

I won`t allow it! I can`t allow it.
I will not let him grow a beard!

This boy has just turned to a rescue mission!

But Skipper, each of us has failed space training!
We can`t... Ouch! Not try!

"Not try" was totally how I was going to end that sentence.

That`s right! Private, set tight, buddy!
We`re coming for ya!

Ehm, Skipper, the rocket ship seems to be going somewhere.
Is that a problem?

No! No... Ehm, no. Why should you be worried, huh?

Kowalski, odds of Private`s survivingness!

One in twelve. And Skipper, your flipper is still on a button.

Let`s see - roof top, upper atmosphere... Moon!

Here come the G-forces...

Keep it together, Kowalski... Don`t fake it all...

Awake! Stay awake! Awake...

Oh, thanks, Skipper. I need of that.

I didn`t faint... I did it!
I AM SPACE... Oh!

Sorry! Kinda looks like you`re about to faint again...

- No, it didn`t!
- Kinda did.

- To the moon!
- Totally didn`t...

Oxygen is flowing!

Hey, Rico, how`s the astro affecting the gastro, buddy?

That`s it, pay no mind to the unbearable unrelenting nausea.

That feeling you`ve cramped thirty pounds of stew into a three pound bag.

Oh, it`s just a little hunch, Kowalski, but...
Maybe you should shut your fish hole, please!

Ha-ha-ha! So fun!

Rude!

- Skipper!
- Pack up, soldier! Your ride is here!

- How was the trip?
- Oh, it`s fine, made a good time.

Kowalski managed not to faint and Rico only hurled once.

Ehm, Skipper...

Rico didn`t happen to hoke up a chainsaw, did he?

Yeah! Pretty gross...

Tell me about it...

Yeah, yeah... I get it, I was there, remember?

Ah, your oxygen! Don`t breath!

But you can hold your breath, right?
You nailed that competition, remember?

You can hold your breath all day long!

And me... Not so much.
But on the other hand you didn`t expect this and e-eh...

Well, isn`t this a moment drenched in irony?

Skipper, you saved me!
I just wanna take this opportunity to say...

Ah... S-sorry!

Mission accomplished!

- Kowalski, take us home!
- Course already plotted and away we go!

- I don`t remember home`s been so... red.
- Yeah!

- Kowalski!
- Okay, so I may have plotted that course wrong...

...but hey! Positive note - we beat the chimps and humans to Mars! Up high! Yeah?..