03x13 & 03x14 - Street Smarts/Nighty Night Ninja

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC]

-Hit it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Kowalski, have you
seen my calendar?

-[GULPING] Calendar?

-Yeah, I had it
around here someplace.

But it seems like the darned
thing just up and walked away.

Feels like we had some
operations scheduled

for this week--
importante operations.

Either of you boys
seen my calendar?

-Nope.

-Hm-m

-Hmm, strange.

-Yes, well, in the meantime
we can just carry on as usual,

you know, some cute and
cuddly antics for guests.

-Uh huh

-Roger that.

-Yeah, I suppose
we could do that.

Or I could check
my backup calendar.

Huh?

It's big.

Oh, that's right,
it's team building

week-- right there in bold.

-Woo!

The week we weed out the weak.

-My least favourite
time of year.

-Heavy ball hacky sack, go!

-Ow, ow.

-Ah!

Uh!

Ah!

-Hogging the ball, Private?

Now that's not
being a team player.

Heave, team, heave.

[GRUNTING]

-Ahh!

-Oof.

-Oh no.

-Rico's a ball hog too.

[GRUNTING]

-Mama.

-That's it Big Grey, put
your full weight into it.

-I'm giving you all
the junk in my trunk.

-Skipper, forgive--
uh-- me, but I'm-- huh--

not seeing the point
of-- ak-- this exercise.

-Oh, really?

What if the only way to save
one of your penguin brothers

was to form a
penguin chain, hmm?

-My penguin brothers
aren't two-ton elephants.

-Hey!

Two and 3/4.

I've been cuttin' carbs.

[TRUMPETING]

-Oh, cheese and crackers!

I'm sorry-- sorry.

-You want to know why
we do this, Kowalski?

No penguin gets left
behind, that's why.

-What about Manfredi?

-OK, one penguin
gets left behind.

-And Johnson?

-Maybe two penguins
get left behind.

-Um--

-Uhh, comparatively few penguins
get left behind, all right?

OK, let's take another
shot at the penguin bridge.

This time, dig deep.

No more phoning it in.

[PANTING]

-Please, can't go on.

-I think we found our weak link.

-Skipper, Kowalski's right.

First it was pass the red
hot burning briquettes.

-Puff, puff, puff.

Wah-wah-ooh-ooh.

-Then the sack of
broken glass races.

-Eek, ah, oh, ow, ow.

-Then the razor wire rodeo.

-Come on.

-We need a rest.

-Yeah.

-A rest?

Are you saying seven straight
days of intensive training

is too much?

Are you saying that you had
too much teamwork, are you?

Well, say it.

Are you?

Are you?

-Um, yes.

-All right, Private,
you've got it.

-I do?

-Or you got it, Rico.

Or you, Kowalski.

-Skipper.

-The first man who brings
me a delicious salty kipper

gets a day pass.

-A kipper, Skipper?

-That's right.

One tiny smoked fish
buys a whole 24 hours

of whatever your
little heart's desire.

-Ah, science time.

-Well, what do you know?

E equals mc cubed.

Einstein, is there
anything he got right.

-Telly time.

-Today it's just you and me and
season three. [SINGING] Ahh oh.

-Oh, wait.

Huh?

Kapow!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Now, my recommendation
is the fish

market down by terminal five.

-Got it.

-Sorry, Private my
scientific research

is way-y-y more important than
your crudely animated everybody

get along show.

-Oh, yes, that's just what the
world needs, another invention

that explodes when you
plug it in, right Rico?

-Rico-- oh.

-Look!

-Later, chumps.

-Wah!

-Well, looks like it's
survival of the fittest.

And that is me-e-e-e.

-Says, you-u-u-u.

[LAUGHING]

-Ha!

So you thought you could pull a
fast one on good ol' Kow-- Uh.

-Ta-ta, boys.

I mean, losers.

[TYRES SQUEALING]

-Private's getting away.

We've got to stop him
before-- Cheap shot, Rico.

[REGURGITATING]

-[GRUNTING] uh, uh.

The subway.

[CLEARS THROAT]

-Creeper.

-Ew-ack.

Ew-ack.

Ahh.

-Aha!

Uh, uh, uh.

-OK, here's the plan.

You two continue
pointlessly fighting

and I'll snag a kipper.

-Ow!

[REGURGITATING]

-Yeah, my great grandfather
was a fishmonger

and my grandfather was a
fishmonger and my dad well, ah,

h-h-he was a dentist.

But now, I'm a fishmonger
too-- family honour restored.

So, what brings you to this
thrilling line a work, pal?

-Penguins cost me my job, my
dignity, and once my goatee.

-Your goatee?

-It grew back.

Still, if I ever catch
up to those penguins,

there will be a reckoning,
yes, there will.

[KNUCKLES CRACKING]

-Um, coffee break.

See ya.

-Penguin.

-Cod, cod, cod, grouper.

[SLURP]
-Ug.

[SLURP]

-Nah no.

-Nothing but bass.

Where are all the kippers?

-Oh, did you look over there?

-Thanks, Kowalski.

I'll go--

-Like I'd tell you.

-Hi-yah.

Woo hoo.

Gi-gi-gi-gi-ga-ga.

-Ah.

Cod, cod, grouper,
flounder, grouper, cod, cod.

Grouper, cod, cod,
flounder, grouper, grouper,

cod. [FASTER AND FASTER]
grouper, grouper, cod, cod.

[SNIFF]

-Penguin.

-Ahh.

Oy.

Uh.

-Kippers!

-I got it!

I got a kip-PER.

-Hello, penguin.

Long time no satisfying revenge.

-Oh, Officer X.

-Actually, I'm guessing
it's now Fishmonger X.

[CRACK]

-Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

-Ow.

-Sweet, sweet payback
is finally mine.

[REGURGITATES]

-Where do you suppose
he's taking us?

-Animal Control HQ,
thus vindicating

all his wild penguin stories
and earning back his badge.

-Oh, good for him, I guess?

Less good for us.

-Oy.

-I'd just like it to be noted
that I had the kipper first.

Admittedly, it seems less
important now than it once did.

[TYRES SCREECHING]

[LAUGHING]

You boys all right back there?

'Cause I'm feelin' X-cellent.

-And here come the parts.

-Hey.

-Excellent.

He could dig a little
deeper than that.

Oh, all we had to
do was get a kipper.

Fancy us laid low by
such a simple task.

-Yes, usually we snag a whole
crate of kippers no sweat.

How did we come to this?

-We stopped being a team.

-Ohh, lunicorns?

-Season two, but that doesn't
make it any less wise and true.

-All right, even though I'm
against gleening life lessons

from kiddie cartoons,
team-- Rico, if you would.

-OK.

-Four blocks to payback.

[REGURGITATES]

-Huh huh!

Fight, men, like only a
true team of penguins can.

[TYRES SQUEALING]

[CRASH]

-Gah.

-Yak.

-You penguins
forgot, I multitask.

[TYRES SCREECHING]

-Ah!!

-Gotcha.

-Hang on, Kowalski.

Yee.

-Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.

[TYRES SCREECHING]

-Give it up.

-Release me, Private.

Save yourselves.

-No, comparatively few
penguins get left behind.

Rico, throw me a ball.

[REGURGITATES]

-Uh.

[CRASH]

-Officer, it wasn't me.

It was those penguins, look.

Those penguins.

Don't cha see um?

[BANG]

-H-h-hey, hey, you're
the penguin guy.

Hey, Vinnie, come over here.

Get-get your camera.

I busted the penguin guy.

-I hate penguins still.

-Well, Skipper, we did it.

-We?

-That's right.

We learned the lesson
you were trying

to teach us about teamwork.

And so we are going to
present you with the kipper

we retrieved.

Rico?

[REGURGITATES]

-Ta-da!

-Uh, well, you boys
had your fun but, I

wasn't trying to
teach you anything.

I just wanted a kipper.

But since you men
are so hepped up

on teamwork, how about
you show me some--

in the form of
the penguin chain.

Big Grey, you out there?

-Rested and ready.

-Uh.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Kowalski, confirm intent.

-I have decoded this cleverly
hidden subliminal message,

and there's no doubt
about it, Skipper.

It's opening day for the 17th
film in the Commodore Danger

series, "Tonight it
Thunders Lightning."

-We'll be there.

-Outstanding-- I've
been itching for some

nautical secret spy action.

[WHIMPERING]

-Figure of speech, Private.

-I'm sorry, Skipper, my tail
feathers are driving me mental.

-Slaps some ointment on
that butt cheek, mister.

We've got T minus one hour
til the morning matinee.

[WHIMPERING]

-Ah!

-Whoa!

-Oof!

-[OVER LOUDSPEAKER]:
Breach in Zone Five.

-Yeah, yeah, let
me get the card.

-[INAUDIBLE].

-Kowalski, alarm analysis.

-Hmm, feeling mildly antsy,
a little touchy maybe,

yet not quite
full-blown panicky.

-Of the box.

-Oh, good golly, it's
a T-560 Zoo Shield.

-Give it to me in
pretty pictures.

-It's the latest in zoo
security technologies, Skipper.

Imagine an invisible
electric bubble surrounding

the zoo, triggered
by animal DNA.

Humans pass through fine.

[SINGING] Well, I'm bustin'
through and I'm feeling fine.

But any animal that
tries to cross-- jiggy!

Jiggy-jiggy-jiggy!

Jig-igy.

-Yeah!

You had me till the giggies.

Anyway, alternate exits.

Go!

-[OVER LOUDSPEAKER]:
Breach in Zone One.

-Alternate exit.

All right, who's first?

Volunteers?

[SCRATCH]

-Good man.

-I wasn't--

[ZAP]

-[OVER LOUDSPEAKER]:
Breach in Zone 17.

-The system's legit.

So, how do we beat the
giggies and hit the movies?

-Code-breaking skills, activate!

O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O- 1.

Results-- negative.

All right, let's try O-
O- O- O- O- O- O- O- O--

-For pity's sake, man!

We're going to miss our matinee.

Just look at what this
is doing to the Private.

Look at him!

-Driving me mental.

-Sorry, Skipper,
I'm afraid there's

only one way into T-560.

-Key card extraction.

-From right under
Alice's nose, literally.

-Rico, give the lady a
nighty night special.

-Hi-ya.

[SLAP]

[SLAP]

[SLAPPING]

-That dame's got the neck
of a Greco-Roman wrestler,

and cankles to match.

[expl*si*n]

-And years of
toilet cleaning has

made her impervious
to gas attacks.

-Then there's only
one thing for it.

Private!

-What?

-We need your
knockout hyper cute.

-It's Alice's only
known weakness.

-Come on!

[INAUDIBLE] me.

-But, I swore I'd never use
its awesome power again.

Gah!

Blast these feathers!

-It's movie day, Private.

-Now what would
Commodore Danger do?

-He'd commit
international w*r crimes,

softened by ingenious quips.

-Bingo!

Well, you make with
the w*r crimes,

while Kowalski jots down
some, uh, saucy puns.

-Ah-- something with pain?

Bones?

Oh, I can't do comedy
under pressure.

-Hey, who let you out of your--

--Grr-ah-bwing-woosh.

-Whoa.

-Ahh!

-Of course, the itchy feathers.

He's-- he's moulting!

-Yeah.

-To the bunker and cover
the Private's shame.

-Whatever.

-Don't look at me.

I'm hideous.

-Just an ordinary
moulting cycle,

though the hyper cute
attempt certainly

started it off with a bang.

Ha, h*, that one's
going in a status post.

-Fix me!

Cure me!

Make me cute again.
[DESPERATELY] It's

all I've got.

-It'll all grow back in time.

Get off--

-We don't have time.

And they started.

We've only got four
show times left.

If we don't get Private's
hyper cute back ASAP,

we may miss opening
day altogether.

-No!

Big day!

-Worst case, I suppose the movie
will still be playing tomorrow.

-Spoilers, Kowalski, they'll
be everywhere by tomorrow,

ruining the
unexpected plot twists

and surprising comic moments.

We go today.

-All right, ah, the
damage isn't too bad.

Maybe a little black marker,
some white correction fluid.

-Oh, OK.

[REGURGITATES]

[MUMBLING]

-Oh, I'm cured.

But are these products
safe for use on bare skin?

-I'm a scientist, Private,
not a label reader.

-Ack!

It burns like fireants!

Fireants!

On fire!

Ahh!

-Move and manoeuvre, echo delta.

Go!

Go!

Go!

-Um.

-What?

Did you miss a spot?

-No, we were [GAGGING]
very thorough, gah.

[CRYING]

-Well, the 1:10 show is out.

And I wanted to see
a thunder lightning.

-Am I once again adorable?

-Affirmative.

Can you work your hyper
cute from inside there?

-Actually, I'm not sure I
can even breathe in here.

Movie day, movie day, movie day.

-Kowalski,

[GASPING]

I really think I
need an air hole.

-Wow!

You look spectacular
today, Private.

Did you change groomers?

[HYPERVENTILATING]

-I need-- I need oxygen!

-Ah, yeah, here
comes the peanuts.

[VOMITING]

-Oh.

-Sayonara 3:45 in 3D,
the cast and crew Q&A.

-I'm sorry, Skipper,
it's all my fault

-Oh, don't blame
yourself, Private.

Blame that guy.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

What?

-You call those options?

-Well, I am trying, Skipper.

There is just no
fixing a molting body.

-Aw!

-Ah, stop stealing
my gumballs, Rodney.

-But perhaps I can
replace a moulting body.

-So you want to use more for
the dangerous experimentings.

And in return I get--

---to watch.

-At deese prices who
could be affording not to?

-So, you've done this
brain switch thing before?

-Uh huh.

-Any nasty side affects?

-Uh huh.

-With Private's know-how
inside Mort's adorable body,

we should be able to
pull the hyper cute,

knock out Alice,
acquire her key card,

deactivate the
security system and get

across town to our movie.

-Ah.

Nothing I love more than
a clean, simple plan.

Execute!

-Wait.

That is what your booties
look like without all

the feathery things gone?

[LAUGHTER]

So small and lumpy.

[LAUGHTER]

-Lumpy.

-Bum bums are funny.

-Seriously, are Mort and me
the only one's seeing this?

-It's a tiny hiney!

[LAUGHTER]

[WHIR]

-Oh-tay.

[LAUGHTER]

-Whoa.

-Take cover.

[expl*si*n]

-I expected weirder.

-Sorry, Skipper, but I am
thoroughly out of ideas.

-So then I am thinking you
maybe could work on this problem

-Oh h*, yes-- wait.

Well, how come my lips
don't move when I talk?

Where did my brain go?

Oh, no!

-Well, I guess that's it then.

No Commodore Danger opening day.

-Stow that sadness, compadre.

I've still got one idea left.

-Really?

And you're bringing
it up after we've

gone to the brain
switching well?

-You know, you never really
appreciate the booty's majesty

until you see it
from da outside.

-Do not touch the colander.

-All right, sister,
spare me the lectures

about how true beauty
comes from within.

I just need your lady makeover
magic to fix Private's ugly.

-So we can see a movie!

-I'm not even sure
which part of that

I should be most offended at.

First of all, where is Private?

-Over here, in the shame sack.

-Seriously?

Oh, all right, come on.

Lose the sack, Private,
we're all friends here.

-All right.

-You-- oh, wow.

OK, see this-- this is fine.

You don't need a
makeover, Private.

-Oh yeah, he so does.

-Yep.

-Uh huh.

-You don't have to spare
my feelings, Marlene.

I mean, beauty's only skin
deep-- horrid, rashy skin deep.

-Wait!

Yeah, see, this hyper cute
is still inside of you

some-- somewhere, you
know, d-deep down.

All you need is someone
to believe in you.

Argue with me.

-Desperate show times call
for desperate measures.

[CATCALL]: You-hoo, oh ew.

[CATCALL]: Yo, that is fine.

[CATCALL]: Oh, baby!

-Focus, Private.

Just think cute.

-Puppies and kittens and
ducklings and ponies.

Ah!

-You again?

Ach, fine.

Let's get you to the vet.

-Oh, ga-ga.

-He's paralysed with
crippling self-doubt.

-Oh, no.

-He can't do it.

-Oh, yes he can.

Now, Private!

Show me that hyper cute.

-Blah, blee, fwah.

-Blech.

-Well, that was nasty.

[SCREAMING]

-I-- I've failed.

-No, Private.

Look!

-Hey, you put down
the vending machine.

-Alice is distracted
by riot control.

-Whatever that was,
Private, pour it on.

-Wait, shh, will you
please, uh, focus, OK?

You gotta think cute.

-Sorry, Marlene, it's movie day.

Yah!

-If you're gonna panic,
panic toward the exits.

--Blee-ach.

[SHRIEK]

-Blah-ahh.

[YELP]

-Sorry, plee-oo-ah!

[SCREAMING]

-Hey!

Come on.

You-- and you-- all of you.

What is wrong with you?

-Key card secure, you
beautiful monster.

-Yes!

Look at me, world!

[SCREAM]

-Um, OK, stop looking now.

[ALARM]: System deactivated.

-Did we make it?

-And with 10 minutes
till the final sometime.

-[SINGING]: Movie day.

-Way to turn your nauseating
deformity into a plus, Private.

-What?

But he-- he terrorized
half the zoo.

He made babies cry He
made-- he made grownups cry.

I cried.

-Exactly.

The listen here is
always be yourself.

-That is so true.

-Uh, I think that's my popcorn.