02x62 - Operation: Antarctica

[bunniefuu]

Operation: ANTARCTICA

[Siren wailing]

Oh, Brick?

Yes, Cecil?
Oof!

[Splashing]

SKIPPER: Well, well.

Looks like our old two-bit
thieves have hit the high seas.

Kowalski, what's the catch
of the day?

Over 12 tons of--
[Gasping]

Patagonian toothfish!

[Babbling]

I don't understand either one
of those words.

These felonious chumps have
been pirate-fishing in Antarctic waters.

Also over my head.

That's the penguin's
motherland- boys, those

deepwater d*adbeats just stole
from my mama!

Mama?!

All right, you shanty-singing

salt dogs, you want to play pirates?

Who am I to arrr-gue?

Oh, that I got.
Arrr!

[Engine puttering]

Hmm?

SKIPPER: Arrr!

Isn't that--
Oof!

[expl*si*n]

She's so bad-bad.

Ahoy!

I'm going to kick you in the
face, boy.

Well...
You!

Blech--
En garde!

Oh, that's a bad move, bird.

I was captain of the fencing
team at-- Ow!

[Growling]

[Panting]

Huh?

♪ Oh I am a pirate king ♪

♪ It is, it is a glorious thing

to be a pirate king #

Hoo-hoo-hoo!

[Swords clinking]

Oof!

[With restraint:] Arr.

Thank you, loading area!
Good night!

VOICE: Hey, is somebody out
there?

Hello?

Please... I'm about to get
fish-sticked!

Where are you?

Up here, inside the tank!

Aah!

What happened?

Some jerk snagged me in one
of their stupid fishing nets.

You're all the way from
Antarctica, then?

Are we really having a
conversation right now?

Oh, sorry- hang on.

Hang onto what?

Everything is either slice-y or
smash-y or fish!

Just give me your hand.
Trust me.

[Roaring]

[Screaming]

Why didn't you tell me there was

a leopard seal in here with you?

Ow!

I am the leopard seal, dummy.

Predator, deceiver,
carnivorous charlatan!

[Screaming]

You--
You saved me.

Yeah, and I kind of expected
some rescue payback.

There you are.

Come on- Johnny Law just spotted
our pirate roundup.

Go on... I'll catch up.

Nipping the old processed
fish sticks, eh?

All right, just don't ruin
your supper.

We're having fish.

Well, yes, of course.

Hey!

[Screaming]

[Anchor clanking]

Ugh.

Oh.

Yes!
You rock, little penguin.

Please don't eat me.

Are you kidding me?
I don't even like penguin.

It smells like orca poop.
Um, hello?

Okay, so, I believe you.

I'm just going to keep believing
you from up here.

You know what,
believe what you want.

I'm going home.
Now, which way would that be?

Curiously, officers found the
duo tied up and ready for arrest.

And in an even curiouser twist,
one of the men had a live fish

shoved down the back of his
slacks.

Ah, what are you going to do?

Okay, so, um, who likes
surprises?

Shh...
we're watching our press.

Along with depleting
endangered fishing stocks,

pirate boats often snare other
helpless wildlife in their

nets, like albatrosses and
leopard seals.

Oh, what is this, hippie
media spin?

Since when is removing leopard

seals from the predator
chain a crime?

Leopard seals?

[Shivering]

Nature's whiskeriest k*lling
machine!

Right, so, um, if
hypothetically, one of us

rescued a whiskery k*lling machine-
mind you, a very pleasant one--

Hypothetical denied, Private.

There's no such thing as
a pleasant k*lling machine.

Hi, I'm--

k*lling machine!

[Screaming and frantic babbling]

Wait, stop, everyone!

It's okay-
I brought her here.

Say what?

It was Brick and Cecil's
fault- they accidentally

caught-- Actually, I didn't
catch your name.

Hunter.

[Screaming]

Honestly, how is that helpful?

Please, all she wants to do is
go home to Antarctica.

She's not going to eat
any of us.

Don't fall for her blubbery lies, Private-
leopard seals eat penguins.

Not me;
I am a strict fishetarian.

See?
Bird meat is gross.

Has anybody here actually
tasted penguin?

Great, right?
I mean, how lucky was I, running

across the one leopard seal who
doesn't eat penguins?

Oh, you poor, naive
half-wits.

All leopard seals start out on
a non-penguin diet...

- fish, krill,
your basic smaller squids.

I love squid.
It's like gummy seafood.

But once they grow out of the
pup years, even the most strict

"fishetarian" seal turns into a--

Well, I'll just let the hand
puppet illustrate this one.

[Imitating Private] Oh, hello,
Ms. Leopard Seal!

I hear you only eat fish.

No more, sucker!

[Snarling]

Well, that's just silly talk.

Hey, don't know me, can't
judge me.

[Snarling]

Mmm, lean!

[Snarling]

I don't even sound like that.

Oh, oh, please don't--

Would you get tt t puppet out
of my face?

Argh!

[Screaming]

[Shivering]

Yikes.
So, that was weird, right?

[Roaring mockingly]

Well, we'll just have to get
her home while she's still young.

- What?
- Have you gone completely mad?

She's in trouble, Skipper,

and as penguins of honour, it's
our duty to help.

You should splash down
somewhere in the East River;

then, go south.

Hunter is only a pup!

She'll neverakake it to
Antarctica on her own.

Sure she will.

Leopard seals are a crafty breed.
Rico, count us down!

Bah, bah, bah.

[Device beeping and whirring]

[Both screaming]

Private!

Why didn't I install an undo
button?

Boys, Private just hitched a ride
on the Pitatic Express to New Deadbird.

We don't let a man swim into
seal-infested wate a alone,

even our most naively stupid man.

Orders, Skipper?

Feed the submarine, Mr. Kowalski.

We're going to-
dramatic pause-

Antarctica.

[Sonar pulsation]

Rico, have us checked.
Test-fire the torpedo tubes.

Pah, pah!
Ka-ka-ka-ka blammo!

[Someone moaning]

What in the name of Aaron
Burr's slapping glove?

Bleh, hello.

Do you like my secret royal
nappity tube?

It's dark, it's quiet.

It makes me feel like
a handsome vampire. Bleh!

Shall we reverse course to

dump our unwanted cargo, Skipper?

Negative.
Private needs us ASAP.

Hey, a little respect for the
undead!

Ringtail, prepare yourself
for an epic journey of

carnivorous peril from which
we may not return.

Whoa- will there be the
possibility of forbidden love

with a beguiling lady werewolf?

Mmm, nope.

Oh, man.
Okay, but I'm going to do my

handsome vampire
mopey face. Bleh.

[Screaming]

Are you sure about this?

Let's get you home.

Oh, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you!

Oh, sorry.

That's all right.
We're all friends here.

So, we're friends now?

Well, maybe not quite yet,

but you know
just the thing for that.

♪ Road trip is 8.523 miles ♪

♪ Feels like half of a minute ♪

♪ Over before we begin it ♪

♪ Best friends we will be
at the bottom of the sea ♪

♪ for 8.523 miles. ♪

[Sonar pulsating]

Do a barrel roll!

[Laughing]

Oh, my gosh...
we're totally close!

Quite.
You recognize this place, then?

No, I can just tell because
of all the leopard seals.

[Screaming]

Hey!

Seals--
So many. So mouthy!

Would you cut it?
You're okay, Private.

They haven't caught your
scent yet.

How can you be sure?

Because all of your tasty

parts are still attached to your
other parts.

[Whimpering]

I do know this place!

There's a tunnel down there that
leads to my village.

What, down there with the seals?

Uh, kind of?

[Sighing]

Right.
Stay calm and carry on.

[Sniffing]

Food?

[Sniffing]

Food?

Food?

[Sniffling and snarling]

Food!

Food!

[Screaming]

[Private screaming]

Huh?

Custom horn?
This is so boss.

Yes, it's the little details
that make a w*r machine.

- Private... in extreme peril.
- Uh, right.

[Babbling]

Fire all torpedoes!

[Squawking]

No, it's okay, because I also
put the torpedoes in the fruit place.

Hello, banana. Would you like
to be a smoothie now?

[Blender whirring]

Why, banana...?!

Nice try, psycho K*llers.
No tiny-brained seal skull can

pound through six inches of steel!

Tell me, where did you find
the invisible see-through steel?

[Glass cracking]

Oh, crud.

[Water whooshing]

[Whimpering]

Ugh!

Gah!

[Screaming]

[Sighing]

Now I just feel fat.

Ugh!

Oof!

Did you see how brilliant we
were down there?

With a thrash-y throwing
manoeuvre--

I know- that's, like,
our thing now.

We totally have a thing.

We're here!
Private, you did it!

You got me home.

No, you did it.
You proved you wouldn't eat me.

I know- yay me!

All right, off you go, then,
you savage penguin devourer.

[Chuckling]

Right.

[Both roaring mockingly]

[Roaring ferociously]

You made me spill my
lemonade.

Sorry.
Anyway, thanks- bye.

I'll always remember you.

You too, take care.
Don't eat anyone I wouldn't eat.

[Chuckling]

She's a good kid.
Oof.

Food.

KOWALSKI: Well, the good news
is, the seals have left us for dead.

I should mention this is also
the bad news.

Options?

With our streamlined penguin
bodies and outstanding lung

capacity, we should be able to
swim to the surface.

But how long can Julien hold
his breath?

Hold it in what?

Let's see- carry the--
Oh, it's impossible.

He'd have to be able to swim
at 45 knots...

roughly the speed of
aa fired torpedo.

Really?
Deploy handsome vampire.

[Screaming]

PRIVATE: Let me go, you big bully!

Ugh!

[Snarling]

One.
We got one penguin.

What was everybody else doing
with the afternoon?

I was watching cable.
I love cable.

You- do the math.

What's one penguin work out to
on a per-seal basis?

Uh, food?

Good work.
Okay, food.

[Gulping]

Me?

Hop in the jaws- I got to
divvy up the goods with my teeth.

These things are useless with a
knife and fork- look at him.

HUNTER: Hey, move it!
Daddy!

That's your father?

Fuzzyface, where have you
been hiding?

I was captured by pirates and
dragged to New York City.

Wow, I am looking like a very
mediocre parent right now.

And this penguin is the one
who rescued me.

Really?
Food saved my kid?

[Fanfare sounding]

Prepare the celebratory feast!

Let's hear it for food!

Food!

[Private screaming]

PRIVATE: What?
Well, this was unexpected.

Oh, yeah- I totally thought
they were going to eat you.

What, after food rescued my
little girl?

What am I, a monster?
Proclamation- food here is

off-limits, and I mean
to everybody!

Looking at you right now,
Reginald.

I can't believe how well this
turned out.

I've got a new friend, we took a

fantastic trip, and nobody is
going to eat me!

I blame you.

[Screaming]

- Dad, these are Private's friends!
- They rescued you, too?

Technically, they were
against it.

Soup's on!

Food!

- Wait!
- What is this, a joke?

Because if it's the one about
making penguin-intestine balloon

animals, I've heard it
and it's hilarious.

[Laughing]

Oh, balloon animals, you say?
So, uh, was this a potluck?

'Cause I brought some ice.

Why are we eating any of
these penguins?

Cookieburger,
we're leopard seals.

Fish got to swim, penguins got
to be eaten... it is what it is.

That's what I've been saying.

Yes, I understand the implications...
I just like to be right.

But you're not right,
Skipper.

You all thought Hunter would eat
me, but look!

Still in one piece.

We're living proof that seals
and penguins don't have to be

predator and prey.
We can even be friends.

HUNTER: Check it out- we even
have our own thing.

Hop in, friend.

BOTH: Whee-eee-eee-eee
yeah!

Ta-da!

What?

Good technique, Honeybear!

Uh, wha'?

Your "friend" thing is
decidedly unfriendly.

Thrashing a penguin from side to
side is how leopard seals

tenderize the meat before--

Well, you remember the hand
puppet.

[Shivering]

What?
No, I wasn't!

I'm afraid all you have proven
is that you are a born carnivore.

You make that sound like a
bad thing- come on, smart guy,

admit you're delicious.

I--
I'm sorry, Private.

We'll save you a wing,
Pumpkin.

Did you want any, or
would that just be weird?

Wait! May I ask you what sort
of penguin recipe you're using?

Eat.

All right.
Uh, yes, that one's a classic,

but you know what's even more
yummy?

The taste of penguin meat after
a good long marinating.

[Murmuring agreement]

Yeah, really good.

No touching the feet!

[Laughing]

But seriously, I'm with him.

Oh, I thought everybody was
at the feast.

Yeah, the penguins sounded

tasty, but the side dishes
were just... mehe.

Maybe I'll just go
somewhere else.

Uh, you are confused and
upset.

You should talk to me; I am

excellent at telling people
what to do.

I don't want to be
a penguin-eating predator.

So, don't be.
There- fixed.

Right.
I wish it was that easy.

Of course it is, you
ridiculously sausage-shaped

animal, you...
You know what I did today?

I nailed the play-acting of
a handsome vampire.

Bleh.

I did a crazy, awesome barrel
roll- hey!

And I totally kicked a snow mote
halfway to anti-Antarctica.

Hyah!

What does that have to do
with anything?

You think anybody else wanted
me to do those things?

- Go ahead, answer.
- No.

Who cares?
Who else can be telling you what

you have to do or to be, or to
not do or be? Nobody.

So, you're saying it doesn't

matter what everybody thinks
I'm supposed to be?

I mean, who says I have to be
like everyone else, right?

No, I am saying it's awesome
to be King!

I don't know where you got that
other stuff.

Come on!

Marinating?
You picked marinating?

Well, I had to do something
to buy time for a jailbreak.

Mission half-accomplished.
Now, what's the escape plan?

[Shivering]

♪ Big moment ♪

Junta!

Oh, out for blood, huh,
predator?

Out to save my friend.

And you three, I guess.
But only on principle.

[Grunting]

[Sniffing]

Food?
Food!

[Snarling]

They're coming!

Everybody surrender!
Edible ones first.

HUNTER: Down the mountain-

it's the quickest way to the
ocean.

Yes, and technically, falling

off a building is the quickest
way to the sidewalk!

[Screaming]

They're coming up too fast.

[Growling]

Hang on- I'll run a diversion!

[Grunting]

That's my girl!
Go, Hunter!

In your toothy face!

[Laughing]

[Gasping]

[Roaring]

Blech!

[Grunting]

Up ahead!
Aim for the rail.

You can launch to a safe
distance.

You're not coming?

I can't.
I belong here with my--

No daddy!

[Snarling]

HUNTER: Whoa!

[Screaming]

Dad!

Whoa!

SKIPPER: Private, don't be a hero.

Don't be a fool with your life!

[Private screaming]

Gah!
Oh.

[Panting]

Food, you saved me!

Yes, well, my instincts said
to run.

But we can't always listen to
those silly things, can we?

Instincts?
I get you.

Everybody okay?

[Seals snarling]

Food!

Go on, get him out of here.

You trust me?

I'll miss you.

Yeah.
Shut up and hop in.

[Private whooping]

Food?

Dang.

Slippery little tasty nuggets,
aren't they?

[Grumbling]

Love you, Dad.

Come on, I think I've got
some squid in the freezer.

And by the freezer, I mean our
front porch.

Oh, I hate Antarctica.

Oof!

Ugh.

Private, I may have misjudged
that she-predator and you.

If a penguin and a leopard seal
can learn to get along in this

crazy, mixed-up world, then
maybe there's hope for all of us.

JULIEN: Bleh!

Gah!

Yum-yum.

What? I was curious.

SKIPPER: All of us minus one.