01x19 - Needle Point

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: And now, DreamWorks'
"The Penguins of Madagascar."

-Hit it!

[DANCE MUSIC]

[DOOR SLAMS]

[CAMERA SHUTTER]

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

-[QUACKING]

-I think Rico's got something.

-Nice and easy, Rico.

Remember, the condiments
are more scared of you

than you are of them.

-[STRAINING]

-I-- got it.

Yes!

-Chopped onions!

-Onions, Skipper?

-No thanks.

I'm after the big catch, the
elusive Polish sauerkraut.

-[GASPS] Hello, sauerkraut.

Whoa, big fella.

[GRUNTS] Oh!

-Skipper!

-Uh!

Eek!

Ow-hm-hm-hm.

-Ah!

-You win this round, sauerkraut.

-Are you hurt?

Sweet, naive Private.

I wouldn't be where
I am today if I

didn't know how to take a fall.

-Well, that was a lucky
break-- broken broken broken.

[SHOCKED CRIES]

-What?

This?

It's just a sprain.

-Skipper, I don't think
that's just like a-- a sprain.

You-- you need to
see the doctor.

-Doctor?

That needle-sticking demon?

No, thank you.

-But Skipper, look at it.

Wings don't bend that way.

-Maybe I'm double-jointed.

[CRUNCH] [SQUEAK]

-Oh!

That makes sense.

-Great!

Then we won't have to
miss our volleyball game.

-Coming your way, Skipper.

-[PAINED CRY]

-All right, then, Skipper?

-Double-jointed.

-Great!

Then we won't have to miss
the arm wrestling tournament.

-[STRAINING] [GASP]

-Hooray for me!

-Gah!

For the love of-- That
wasn't even an arm.

-Skipper, is your
double-jointed wing

turning a little swollen-y?

-It's nothing.

-Great!

Then we won't have to
miss high-five practise.

-[NERVOUSLY] Heh heh.

-Oh, yes.

-Hi!

-[YELP]

-I guess that's why
we need practise.

-Oh!

Look at that wing!

How long have you--
[RIPPING] [GASP] Agh!

That's got to be infected.

-[GASP] Infected?

-Well, it's definitely broken.

-Hi-ya-- ah! [CRYING]

--[CHUCKLE] Now, don't
worry, little fellow.

I know you don't like
the big scary needles.

This time we'll use a
topical cream instead.

-Oh yeah?

You try anything and
I'll cream your topical--

[INCOHERENT NOISES]

-I've applied a powerful
muscle relaxant for the plain.

And this sterile
wrap should keep

him from doing any more damage.

-So we're good?

'Cause it's kind
of grossing me out.

-I'd like to keep him under
observation for few days,

but he'll be fine.

OK, big guy?

-[INCOHERENT MUMBLING] Yah-hah!

Uh?

Uh, ehh.

[ON TV] Oh, doctor!

-[GROAN]

-[ON TV] Did we operate in time?

-[ON TV] Why doctor, you know
there's always time for love.

-Ew!

-All right, Private.

Now describe to us
exactly what you see.

-Um, wool.

Possibly brick.

-Ah.

We're one penguin short.

How are we supposed to get
intel on Skipper's condition

if we can't--

-Wait!

Listen.

WOMAN [ON TV]: But doctor,
we can't just give up on him.

-[ON TV] I'm afraid
the infection

is just too far along.

It's reached the
brain, where it's

done things, horrible things.

-[COUGHING]

DOCTOR [ON TV]: There's
simply nothing we can do.

-The infection.

-Still, it's nice they
brought in an orchestra

to help break the news.

-Uh-huh.

-I'm so sorry.

It's over.

-Aah!

Uh!

[CHOKING] [RATTLE] [CLATTER]

-Skipper's gone?

It, it, it can't be.

What'll we do?

-We'll honour him the
way he would have wanted,

by soldiering on like men.

-[SOBBING]

-Why?

Why?

Why?

-[GROAN]

-Aah!

[THUD]

[SCARY MUSIC]

-[INCOHERENT MUMBLING]

-No.

You've got to put more emotion
in it, like you're disappointed

but you also care.

Yes, that's it!

Just like Skipper used to do it.

-Oh, dear!

-[INCOHERENT YELLING]

-[GASP] It's Skipper!

Skipper?

-[INCOHERENT MUMBLING]

That's not Skipper--
at least, not anymore.

You heard the doctor,
that infection did things

to his brain, horrible things.

-What kind of horrible things?

-[INCOHERENT MUMBLING]

-From the looks of it, I'd
say horrible zombie things.

-Is he dangerous?

-Ooh, you bet your succulent
cerebral cortex he is.

Just try to avoid eye
contact, wear something

to protect the brain area,
and move slowly toward-- oh!

It's trying to devour us all!

-Run!

-Roar!

-Aaa!

-[INCOHERENT MUMBLING]

-Aaah!

-I think we lost him.

Let me just slowly poke my
head around this blind corner

to make sure--

-[INCOHERENT MUMBLING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCARED WHIMPERING]

-Ah!

[SCREAMING]

-OK, based on what I
know about zombies,

the safest place to hide
is in a small dark room

with creepy lighting.

[SCREAMING] Everything
I've learned is a lie!

-Is he gone?

-I don't see him any-- aah!

-What was that for?

-Well, I just assumed
he was going to pop up

from out of no--
look behind you!

-[SCREAMING]

-And, once again, I
appear to be mistaken.

Huh.

Well, I guess you
can never tell--

[SCREAMING]

-He's eating Rico's brain.

-Rico's?

I mean, did you even see this
juicy jumbo genius tenderloin?

Huh?

That's grade A
science brain, baby.

-Every brain for itself.

-Isn't there any way
we could help him?

-Are you mad, man?

There's no known cure
for chronic zombieism.

-Unless, if we captured Zombie
Skipper, we could find a cure.

-What?

-How would we do that?

-Through a gruelling series
of increasingly painful tests

to every part of Skipper's body.

-But won't all that
pain be painful?

-[SCOFF] Not to a zombie.

-[INCOHERENT MUMBLING]

Ah!

[INCOHERENT MUMBLING]

-Come here.

-Uh-oh.

-Quick, he's getting away.

-[INCOHERENT YELLING]

-Oh, right.

Pile on, everyone.

-Remember, he
can't feel a thing.

-[YELLING]

-Ah-hah!

Eh?

Aw, [MUMBLING]

-No mercy this time, boys.

Rico, see if you can
shut off your conscience

and sense of decency.

-[EVIL LAUGH]

-[FRIGHTENED NOISES]

[INCOHERENT YELLING]
St-- st-- stop!

Stop!

-[GASP] The zombie can speak.

-I'm not a zombie.

-But the infection-- we
heard the doctor say--

-Oh, who are you gonna
believe, some two-bit medicine

man, or your own
commanding officer?

-Could it really be true?

-How can we know for sure?

-Uh, this.

-Oh, Rico.

Chainsaw's your
answer to everything.

-Aww.

-Man, amigos, my brothers in
black and white, look at me!

All I've got is a
broken wing, and I'm

pretty sure that's
not contagious.

-Then why were you chasing us?

Well, because it itches
like sandpaper underpants.

Rico, scratch
manoeuvres, double time.

-Now, Rico!

-Nice try, zombie!

-Aah!

[AMBULANCE SIREN]

-OK, I stand corrected on the
contagiousness of broken wings,

but I did tell you
I wasn't a zombie.

[YELLING]

-I don't like it.

What do you make
of it, Kowalski?

-I'm not sure, Skipper.

It could be anything.

-Oh, really?

Could it be Alaska?

-Um, no, it's probably not--

-Are you saying Alaska
might be stuck upside

down to the clock
tower of my zoo?

-I guess--

-Because I think people would
notice if the entire state

of Alaska just packed
up and moved to the zoo.

-All right, maybe it
couldn't be anything.

-I'm sorry, boys.

I sometimes resort to sarcasm
when facing the unknown.

-No duh.

-No one knows anything
about it, Skipper.

It just showed up
mysteriously in the night.

-All right, people.

We have an
unauthorised grey lump.

I need answers.

-This looks like
a job for science!

Come on, science,
don't let me down.

-Hey, who poke stick?

You like poke?

We poke, OK.

I sting your face.

-Skipper, it's a hornet's nest.

-Hey, look who win prize?

You know what's the prize?

I sting your face!

-No!

Ooh!

Ah!

Ooh!

Ooh!

-Easy now, sting tail.

We don't want any trouble.

We're just questioning your
choices of nest location.

-Oh, and I have
question for you.

Knock knock.

-Who's there?

-I sting your face!

-Hey!
Quit it!

Knock it off!

Sting, sting,
sting, sting, sting.

-Knock it off!

-There is a whole
park out there.

We could find you was
secluded glade, perhaps.

-This is a children's
zoo, with children.

-Is OK.

We sting the childrens
enough, they don't come back.

-Whoa, sting tail,
nobody threatens

the kiddies in my zoo.

Consider your pointy
keister out of here.

[WHISTLE]

-With all the other
pointy keisters.

-Less talk, more sting.

-[YELLING]

-Sting, sting, sting,
sting, sting, sting, sting.

-Wow!

-OK.

They surprised us
the first time.

Took away our greatest weapons,
stealth and superior tactics.

Well, that ain't
gonna happen twice.

-It happened twice!

It happened twice!

-This does not wash.

We're penguins, they're insects.

We've got the size advantage.

-But Skipper, they've
got the owie advantage.

-Owie!

-We can't take out their
nests without entering

a world of pain.

-Hmm.

Kowalski, where are we
on eliminating pain?

-Way ahead of you, Skipper.

I've just been perfecting
a pain elimination helmet.

As you'll see, the
neuron inhibiting matrix

provides 100% protection
from all forms of-- aah!

It's not perfected!

Oh, it hurts!

It hurts so bad!

-Ah, it's a fool's dream.

To live with that pain, you'd
have to be uniquely freakish.

-Did I drop a mango down
here-- ooh, ow, aw, ooh.

-Oh!

-There you are, mango!

-No pain, just like
it never happened.

-You want me to
talk to the bees?

-Well, hornets.

And talk ain't gonna cut it.

This mission requires
harsh, decisive action.

-Kisses and huggies?

-We need you to go up there
are remove the hornet's nest.

-Can I play in the beehive?

-Hornets!

-What, you want more sting?

-He loves the sting.

-I sting you so hard, your
great grandchildren say ouch.

-Retreat!

[YELLING]

-Sting, sting, sting,
sting, sting, sting.

--[LAUGHS] It makes
me polka dot-y.

-It's hopeless, Skippy.

Mort simply doesn't
understand the job.

-Is this a waffle maker?

-No, that's a
fusion incinerator--

[ELECTRIC ZAPPING]

-Yah!

Ooh, I bet this one
makes bubbles, right?

-Doesn't understand-- of course!

-Mm, of course.

What?

-If I'm correct--
[CHUCKLE] please, if.

These brain energy-reading
goggles should prove-- yes.

It seems Mort is being protected
by a halo of ignorance.

He doesn't know he's in danger,
and therefore he feels nothing.

-Shouldn't someone stop that?

-I smell burning cookies.

-Fascinating theory, Kowalski.

But how does that


-Don't you see, Skipper?

If we simply erase every single
painful thought from our minds,

we can be as painlessly
ignorant as Mort.

-Outstanding!

Where can we find
an instrument that

could wipe out all
brain functions?

-OK.

Now this is definitely
a job for science.

-[WHOOPING]

[ELECTRIC SHOCK]

-Gentlemen, I give
you the Degausser!

One electromagno zap, and the
mind goes as blank as Mort's.

Instant halo of
ignorance protection.

-Is it dangerous?

-Just a little incredibly so.

But don't worry,
all your brain power

will be stored inside
this cardboard box

until the hornet
job is complete.

-Private, give that man a brain.

[SHUDDER]

-OK.

Let's get stupid!

-Whoaaa--

-Private, are you all right?

How do you feel?

-Rico, my medical supplies.

-Ooh, Is that a
cotton candy machine?

I like cotton candy.

[ELECTRIC ZAPPING] Whoohoo!

Make it tickly.

-Eureka!

Stupid mission accomplished.

-Now, all we have to do is point
him at the hornet's nest, and--

-Ooh, pretty shiny
light machine.

-No!

No, not the Degausser!

-I'm a disco penguin!

-Be careful!

-Hello?

-I like de-gousing!

-[LAUGHS]

-Yay!

-Hee-hee-hee!

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Goodie, I see
school bus coming.

-Ah, school bus is like
gift box of of children

for stinging. [EVIL LAUGHTER]

-Did you make friends
with the bees yet?

-Bees?

Yay!

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

-Whoa, here they come.

Is going to be busy
children-stinging day today.

-Bees!

-Why you come back now for?

-Hey, maybe they like the sting.

-Then we give the sting.

-We sting your face!

[GIGGLING]

-Bees.

-Yay!

-I ate soap.

-The sting, it does nothing.

-How the sting does nothing?

-You sting wrong.

-Why you criticise?

-You always have puny sting.

-I have feelings.

-We cannot stop them!

-What is all this loud
talk about stinging?

All day long, until the
royal nap is ruined!

Ruined!

-Huh?

The bees!

-What?

Oh!

What are you--

-Aww.

-The royal feet?

-What the-- OK.

Back to children stinging.

[LAUGHTER]

-Ow!

The royal feet and mine,
and I will have vengeance!

[GIGGLE] OK, be right back.

[STRUGGLING]

-What if I hug something
special of yours, huh?

How about that?

How about I hug your brainy box?

[SHUDDER] Thoughts returning.

--[GAGS] Picked up some of
Rico's-- blegh, so horrible.

-Eh, sorry.

-Skipper, the children!

[EVIL LAUGH]

-Hot fudge, they're going to
dive b*mb those schoolkids.

-Skipper, what do we do?

Without our halo of ignorance,
we're powerless to stop them.

-We have bees?

-Actually, they're--

-Bees make honey.

Why do I not have delicious bee
honey in my belly right now?

-I will get the honey!

-Mort, no!

They're hornets, not--

-Bees!

-Ahaha!

My favourite part
is the screaming.

And we go.

-[SCREAMING]

-The nest!

The nest!

-What?

-There is a monster.

-Hello, bees.

Where are you
guarding the honey?

I need it for King
Julien to love me.

-The nest, it is kaputed.

Flee!

Flee for your lives!

-Yeah!

All right.

-[CHEERING]

-He did it.

Sad Eyes actually did the job.

Truly, his powers are too mighty
for such mere mortals as we.

-Oh, come back, bees.

-[SLURP] Blegh!

Mort, this is the worst
honey I have ever licked.

-Can I have some?

-Of course not, you greedy.

It is for the king. [SLURP]
Uh, mm, so terrible.

-I sting your face!