02x19 - Cactus Lady

[bunniefuu]

[ music ]

Hiya, Slim!
Never mind the team.

I got another
job for you.

[ chicken clucks ]

I got a sick
passenger, Slim.

Come on,
give me a hand.

Been sick as a dog ever
since the last stop.

Got a sick
passenger, Jess.

Oh, Jess.

Come on and take over.

I'll take care of the team.

Lost too much time now.

Get some water, Jess.

Jess, come here.

Well, I'll be
dadgummed.

[ music ]

You go tell Charlie
his passenger

had a sudden recovery.

She'll be leaving
with him on the stage.

No, Jess, I want to talk--

Do you, uh, two,
know each other?

Yeah, we know
each other.

Jess, I wanna
talk to you.

Go ahead, talk.

Well, I was afraid you'd send
me away without listening.

That's why I made
out I was sick.

All right.
I'm listening.

You're still mad about what
happened in Laredo, aren't you?

Me, mad?

Now, would I hold it against you

for turning a l*nch m*b on me?

I couldn't very well
let my brothers

and father just hang.

So, you figured I'd make
a good substitute?

I knew you'd get away.

Well, I'm glad you were
so confident,

because I can still feel
that rope around my neck.

The odds were all
in your favor.

You weren't an outlaw
but the McCanles g*ng

is wanted in four states.

Well, they're not wanted
here--and especially by me.

So you just drive
right on back to them

and I'll forget
I ever saw you.

No, I'm not going
back to them.

I want to lead a decent,
normal life from now on.

Aren't you forgetting something?

You said those same words
to me once before

with that same flutter
in your voice.

Well, I've tried to break
away lots of times,

but this time, it's going stick.

They don't even know where I am.

Well, that's good, because
when they find you,

you won't be here.

Come on.

What are you bringing
that in for?

Charlie wouldn't wait.

This is all of her stuff.

[ horse galloping ]

Looks like I'm here to stay.

No, you're not.

I'll lend you a horse.

Bring her gear outside.

I'm Slim Sherman.

How about bringing
me up to date?

I'm Troy McCarthy.

Jess and I used to be friends
back in, uh, Texas.

I was kind of hoping we could
pick up where we left off.

You mean you came all the way
up her just to see him?

Looks like I made a long
trip for nothing.

Well, too bad there
wasn't more time.

Maybe things could've
been worked out.

Yeah, that's too bad.

Here, I'll get it.

Mr. Sherman, if you'll let
me stay on at the ranch,

I can earn my keep.

I'll be a big help.

Oh, I don't know.

Just till the eastbound stage

gets here, three days.

Then, if things don't pan out,

I'll go straight back home.

Well, I...

Thanks Mr. Sherman.

Where's your saddle?

She, uh, change
her mind, Jess.

She's gonna wait
for the eastbound.

I can work around here.
I'll be a help.

I think we're--we are
shorthanded.

Yeah, come to think of it,

we can use an extra hand.

That was real fine
stew, Ms. McCarthy.

Oh, don't keep calling
me Ms. McCarthy, hmm?

Yeah, she's not used
to being called that.

Coffee strong enough?

Plenty.

My pa always said,
"Coffee is not done

until you can float
rocks in it."

Your pa must have been
quite a man.

Very unusual person, her pa.

Is he in the cattle business?

In a kind of a way he is, yes.

He doesn't only deal in cattle,

he has his hands
on most everything.

JESS:
So do his two sons.

My brothers.

Oh, they're all
in business together.

Oh, that's nice.

I like to see a family
working together.

Well, they're
the "workingest" together
family you ever saw.

Oh, sit still.
I'll do the dishes.

Hmm, Jess, let's get our stuff
out to the buck house.

But wouldn't it be easy
for her to stay out there?

Oh, we can't let
her do that. Come on.

I don't want to put you
to any trouble.

No trouble, ma'am.

[ music ]

She's in there, all right.

You sure it was Troy?

MAN:
Sure he's sure,
you ignorant ninny.

Don't he know his own sister?

Let's go.

No trouble at all.

Just move out of the house
and sleep on a crummy cot.

It's only for three days, Jess.

Besides, she seems like
a nice enough girl.

She does?

I don't suppose you'll tell me
what's wrong between you two.

Let's just say it's a part
of my past I want to forget.

It's, uh, really none
of my business.

I mean, uh, I wouldn't pry
into your private life.

Thanks.

Of course, if you want
to talk about it.

Look Slim, it was your idea
having her here.

Not mine.

[ door shuts ]

[ music ]

Brought another load of post.

Thanks.

I'll dump the rest
of 'em up the line

and bring back the wire.

Fine.

You ever string barbed wire?

Well, I know how it's strung.

Yeah, I bet you do.

I reckon between you and
your renegade family,

you cut quite a bit of it.

[ g*n fires ]

What's the big idea?

I told you I was
through with them.

Now, will you stop graveling
me about that?

Sure.

I'll start by taking that g*n.

I might need it.It'll keep you out of trouble.

Besides, you won't need
it in that decent,

upstanding life
you're talking about.

[ music ]

I'll get some more wire.

[ snake hissing ]

[ g*n fire ]

See what I mean?

Now, where'd you get that g*n?

I always carry
a derringer in my boot

just for emergencies like this.

Hand it over.

JESS:
One more thing, Troy.

We work nights around here, too.

Come on, drop a loop on it.

That's it.

Now, push.

[ cow mooing ]

You got to give him a boost.

Now, push him.

All right. Pull him.

Will you push?

Go ahead, pull.

[ guffaws ]

[ laughing ]

How do you like ranch
life now, Troy?

Thanks for giving
me a hand.

Don't forget
your g*n belt now.

[ screams ]

[ guffaws ]

[ music ]

What happened to you?

Are you planning
on going somewhere?

Stage doesn't come
in till Saturday.

I'll walk
if I have to.

I don't mean to butt in,
but would you like

to tell me about it?

There must be some reason
for your sudden switch.

You were right.
I have been wasting my time.

Jess has no more feelings
than a slab of rock.

Now, that's better. Now,
come on, tell me about it.

There's nothing to tell.

I have had enough.

I'm leaving.

If you don't mind me
telling you, so, you--

you made one big
mistake all along.

What's that?

Well, you've been
trying to win Jess

by keeping up with
him, man-to-man.

I can outride him,
out-rope him,

and out-sh**t him.

Well, that's just the point.

You forgot the most
important thing of all.

What?

Well, you're a woman.

How do you mean that?

Exactly the way
you think I do.

You know,
you wanna win a man,

you got to use all
the female tricks.

Don't talk silly,
that stuff's not for me.

It is for you.

You know, you'd be a good
looking girl

if you gave yourself
half a chance.

Are you poking fun at me?

No.

No, I mean it.

You know, you clean yourself up
and put a lady's dress on,

why, you'd be a right
pretty girl.

What dress?

Some dresses and stuff
in the closet,

used to belong to my mother.

I'll show you.

Well, it's not exactly
the latest fashion,

but she was about your size.

Say, this is real swag.

I mean, jewels.

Imagine me wearing this.

Well, I can...if you scrape
some of that mud off your face.

Are you sure you don't mind
my wearing your mother's things?

I'll heat some water.

[ music ]

Ow.

What's the matter?

I got soap in my eye.

Can I help?

No, thanks.
I'll be all right.

[ music ]

[ screams ]

[ music ]

Slim?

SLIM: Yeah?

Help.

[ music ]

Well, stop wiggling.

I'm not.

[ exhales deeply ]

I thought your mother
was about the same size as me.

Well, there's a little more
to you than I figured.

Well, take a breath.

[ grunts ]

Ha, let's take a look.

Well, do I look
stupid as I feel?

You know, that dress
looks fine, but...

What?

And your hair, Troy.

Got to do something
with you hair.

My ma had a book in here.

Here it is,
Godey's Lady's Book.

The Chignon hairstyle.

[ chuckles ]

Hey, how in blazers they get
it stick up like that?

Uh, let me try.

There must be some way
to tie it up here.

With a pack saddle, I'd sure
know what to do, but...this.

Hairpins.

It's not in there.

Baling wire, I'll get
some from the barn.

[ music ]

Hey Jess, how come you're
taking a shower now?

I had a little accident.

When you get dressed,
come on inside,

I got a surprise for you.

[ music ]

There. Now, stand back here

and take a look at yourself.

Don't do that. You can see
your long underwear.

Oh.

Oh, you look great.

You know, Jess is gonna
be surprised.

Hey, there he is now.

Jess?

Stand right over here.

You can come out now.

I want you to meet an old
friend of yours, Jess.

[ music ]

Is that Troy?

Sure is.

Where are you going,
to a Halloween Party?

[ laughs ]

Boy, ain't that something?

[ laughs ]

I should have known
you'd bray like a jackass.

Oh, if I had a g*n, I'd blow...

Hold on now, wait a minute......your brains out.

Take it easy Troy.
Open the door, Jess.

[ glass breaks ]

You're to blame for this.
You made me do it.

[ music ]

[ grunts ]

Did you find her?

No, she's not inside.

Good thing she didn't
have a g*n.

[ crickets chirping ]

[ crying ]

Hello, Troy.

Go away.

[ sobs ]

Why did you have
to come up here?

I came up
to apologize.

Wasn't your fault.

I was crazy to think I could
ever be rigged up

like a lady.

No, you weren't, Troy.

You look real pretty.

Only Jess doesn't have sense
enough to appreciate it.

Don't try to fool me, Slim.

Oh, I'm not, Troy.

You know, to me, you're
everything a woman should be.

No matter how you dress.

Well, that's nice to hear,

even if you don't
really mean it.

I've never meant anything
more in my whole life.

[ music ]

Sorry, Troy, I had
no right to do that.

Don't be sorry.

You came here to win
Jess, remember?

Well, a girl can make
a mistake can't she?

[ door opens ]

Hi, Jess.

Slim.

Find her?

Yeah, I found her.

Jess, there's something
I want to talk to you about.

About her?

Yeah.

Uh, you're not gonna tell me
you're falling for her.

That's about the size of it.

I knew I should've told you
something about her.

Well, I wanted you
to know how I felt.

I don't like going
behind your back.

Do you really think I care
anything about her?

Well, you're always
quarreling.

Of course, that doesn't
prove anything.

We're not having any lovers'
quarrel, Slim.

Troy is not for me
or for you, either.

Why not?

Well, to put it plainly,
she's no good.

Well, maybe you think so.

I know so.

Well, I know different.Look, don't get sore at me,

I'm just trying to save
you some grief.

Well, she's leaving
tomorrow anyway.

I'm driving her
into Laramie.

Well, that's good.

It's no use saying
anything more about it.

All right by me.

All set?

Where's Jess?

Oh, he's around somewhere.

Well, I want to say goodbye.

I'll tell him for you.

You wait here,
I'll be back in a minute.

[ music ]

JESS: Troy?

Is this what you're looking for?

Why, hello, Jess.
I--I wanted to put
that somewhere safe.

Yeah, I should think so.

$5,000 is a lot of money.

As long as I'm leaving,
I'll take it now.

When I found it, I thought
it might be stolen money.

Belongs to me.

Where'd you get it?

None of your business.

All right. I'll just
give it to sheriff.

You could talk
to him about it.

Oh, wait Jess.

I know what you're thinking,
but it isn't so.

A relative of mine
died, an aunt,

and she left me
that money.

That's why I was able to cut
and run for my family.

This was my stake to break away

from living on the wrong
side of the law.

Don't you believe me?

As long as you're leaving,
and providing you stay left,

I do.

You can have these back, too.

[ music ]

Thanks for wearing the dress.

Oh, I'll return it as soon
as I get some of my own.

Oh, no. I want you
to keep it.

It reminds me of the first
one I ever had

when I was a little girl.

Must have been
a pretty one.

It was stolen.

Pa swiped it
from a store.

Well, when people are poor,
they sometimes get desperate

to give their kids
nice things.

That wasn't why
he did it.

He wanted to dress me up
so I could look over the bank

without being suspected.

You see, my pa was a bank
robber, and I helped him.

So that's what Jess
was trying to tell me.

And my name
isn't McCarthy.

It's McCanles.

Did you ever hear
of the McCanles g*ng?

Yeah, I guess everybody has.

Well, I rode with them all
my life until now,

my pa and my brothers.

I never remember having
a mother or a home.

I never slept in a bed

or had a home-cooked meal.

I knew you had
a strange life, Troy.

The McCanles g*ng.

I didn't have any choice,
Slim. They made me do it.

They threatened to k*ll me
if I didn't ride with them.

Well, if you don't wanna see
me again, I'll understand.

I don't care what
you were, Troy.

I'm only interested
in what you are.

[ music ]

I wanted you
to know the truth.

Sure glad you had
space for Troy.

You'll, uh, probably be
seeing a lot of me, too.

I figured we would as soon
as I saw the young lady.

I don't know how
to thank you.

I do. We're having a drive

for the church building fund,

you can make a contribution.

I guess I walked
into that one, didn't I?

My wife has no ethics
when it comes to fundraising.

Well, bye.

Goodbye, son.Goodbye.

Goodbye, Slim.

Bye, Troy.

[ music ]

Come on.

Is that the man?

Yeah.

Drove her out
the preacher's house.

Good day, sir.Hi.

Um, I come to get
some sort of,

uh, advice-like
from the parson?

Yes, sir,
won't you come in?

No, no, Parson,
I ain't got time.

Uh, what I come to ask you
about was, uh, this year...

if, uh, if you had
a piece land, say,

would you put
cattle on it

or would you go
into farming?

Well, now, there are
many factors involved.

[ music ]

[ knocking ]

No.

I don't wanna see you.

Wait.

You promised
to leave me alone.

For shame.

Is that in your way
to greet your kinfolks?

Why did you follow me?

You hear that, Homer?

Why, Troy, honey,
we had no idea

you was anywhere
near Laramie.

Get up, you stupid lout.

You got no manners at all?

You made me a promise, Pa,
the day we split the money.

No more outlaw business.

Well, sure I did, honey.

And--and I mean to keep
the promise, only...

Only what?

Well, I had little
hard luck.

I lost my roll
to a card shark.

And Homer well,
you know him,

spent all his on
whiskey and women.

[ laughs ]

Man, did I have me a time.

I got drunker
than a bow-legged skunk.

Shut up.

And I supposed Virgil
boozed his away, too.

EZRA:
Not this time.

He run afoul of the law.

He had to bribe of constable.

Yeah.

Sometimes freedom costs a lot.

And now you're here to try to
wheedle my money out of me, hmm?

Oh, shaw, honey.

That's the farthest
thing from my mind.

All we want's to borrow
enough to tide us over

until we get some
fresh prospects.

Nothing doing.

I told you, Pa,
she's too selfish.

Homer, I earn my money,
and I'm aiming to keep it.

Now, you get out
of here and stay out.

Listen to her, same old Troy.

It sure good to see that she
ain't lost she spunk.

Let's choke it out of her, Pa?

No, leave her be.

We don't want no trouble
in the family.

Well, you think it over.

And if you change your mind
you can find us in town.

Actually, you can raise
high quality crops

anywhere in Wyoming.

Providing you can find
water, of course.

Yeah, well, uh,
thanks for the advice

and, uh, I'm much obliged.

That's perfectly all right.

I'll look for you
in church this Sunday.

You do that.

[ music ]

What'd you do?
Get elected to congress?

No, not yet.

What are you getting
all duded up for?

I'm going
in to Laramie.

You are?

[ sniffs ]

Gas or oil?

You smell like
a Chinese barbershop.

Couldn't be that, uh,
Troy's still in town?

Might be.

Where's she working?

She's not working.

She's staying at the minister's.

Well, I'll see you later.

Yeah.

[ music ]

Troy.

It's time we had a little talk.You'll have to hurry.

We're entertaining the church
committee this afternoon.

Well, that I'd like to see.

That is all
you had to say?

No, it isn't.

I want to talk
to you about Slim.

He's over 21.

So am I.

Jess, you'd better
get this straight.

I'm gonna marry him,
and I'll make him a good wife.

Not if I can help it.

Look, it's his ranch.
You only work for him.

So, I don't see how you're gonna
have much to say about it.

Maybe more
that you think.

How are you gonna stop me?

I hate to kick that pink cloud
out from under you, Slim,

but I got to tell you
about Troy.

I already know
about it, Jess.

She told me
all about it.

About her being part
of the McCanles g*ng?

Yeah.

And how they forced
her to go with them.

Well, do you want to hear
the true version?

Look, Jess,
I believe her.

Have it your own way.

[ music ]

[ makes noise ]

Boy, I smell some sheepy.

Do you smell something
sheepy, Homer?

Hmm, well, no wonder.

Look what just come in.

I ought to sh**t
your guts out, all three of you.

But I'm gonna give you
a break you didn't give me.

JESS:
Be out of Laramie by sun down.

Don't scare me
like that, boy.

You know how
easy I scare.

If you's taking
for a fire, why wait?

I'll accommodate
you right now.

Ah, let him be, Virgil.

How would it look
for the three of us to k*ll

one little old
ranch hand like him?

Oh, I recon
you're right, Pa.

And hardly worth
the fuss.

Don't forget what I said.

Maybe you two are in a hurry
to get this settled, too.

No, Jess.

We'll leave like you said,
before sun down.

As a matter of fact,
we'll be on our way

just soon I finish my drink.

[ music ]

"J.H."

Jess Harper.

Hmm, now, that was awful
neighborly of him

to ride all
the way into Laramie

just to give us
a present.

[ music ]

Let's see, when she left,
she had the money
in the saddle bags.

Don't seem to be here.

I have the building
fund records upstairs.

I'll bring them right down.

Excuse me, please.

Troy?

What are you doing here?

You didn't have to do
that, you clumsy clod.

I only just tapped him.

Oh, you hit him like
you was k*lling an ox.

We'd better get
out of town, Pa,

if he dies, they'll be
coming after us with a posse.

No, they won't.

Give me that watch
we got from Harper.

What for?Give it to me.

[ music ]

That ought to do it.

We simply must be going.

I'll go and see
what's keeping my husband.

[ screams ]

He--he's been hurt.

Somebody get
the doctor, quickly.

Where did you lose it, Jess?

I told you I don't
where I lost it.

All right, young lady,
supposing you tell him.

I found it right
beside the minister.

What are you talking about?

Easy now. Won't
do any good,

trying to intimidate her.

She's lying, Sheriff.

She's trying to protect
her outlaw family.

That's right.
She's Troy McCanles.

She's part of the McCanles g*ng

and they're right
here on Laramie.

Now, wait just a minute,
boy. Slow down.

She tried to frame
me once before

to bail out her family...
back in Laredo.

This is a pet trick of hers.

Having the faintest idea what
he's talking about, Sheriff.

You rotten, little liar.

Jess, simmer down.

I'm going to have to place
you under arrest.

Lock him up.

All right, folks. I won't need
to detain you any longer.

Good night,
and thank you.

Sure, I believe you, Jess

but I know why
she did it.

She's scared to death
of her family.

That still leaves me in jail
and them with the money.

I don't think so. If they
were to have gotten the money,

they wouldn't have bothered
to frame you.

You hang on.Where are you going?

Don't go anywhere.
I'll be back.

[ music ]

Well, why don't you try
and get some sleep?

I'll stay with him.

No, my dear.

My place is right here
by his side,

but I do thank you
for your help.

[ knocking on door ]

Evening, Troy.

Ain't you going
to invite me in?

I didn't think you'd have
the nerve to come back here.

Not after what you did.

We didn't do nothing.

Quit it.

I know Jess
isn't guilty.

You didn't tell
nobody, did you?

No, but it wasn't
for your sake.

I have my own reasons.

Well, whatever the reasons,
I'm...I'm sure grateful.

And is that what you
came here to tell me?

No.

I come to say goodbye.

I thought maybe you could
spare your brothers and me

a few dollars
for traveling money.

But I guess I shouldn't
have bothered you.

So I'll just say goodbye
and let it go at that.

Wait, Pa, uh,
a hundred dollars.

Now, that'll
be the last.

All right.
You wait here.

[ music ]

It makes me feel
mighty ashamed,

begging money
from my own daughter.

Go on, Pa, take it.

It's just a loan, mind you.

I'll pay it back just as soon
as ever I can.

Goodbye, daughter.Goodbye, Pa.

What's the matter, Pa?

Kind of gets me deep
down inside,

my daughter loving
me like that.

Yeah, if she loved you so much,
she'd've gave you this money,

instead of putting
us to all this trouble.

All right.
Throw 'em up.

Ain't neither one of you
got the guts to sh**t?

Troy, come on out here.

Look what I caught...

trying to run off
with your money.

My money?

It's all right, Jess
told me all about it.

Except he didn't think
you meant

to take it back
to the bank. I did.

Oh, they wouldn't bother
you anymore.

Now, I'll watch 'em, Troy,
while to you get their g*ns.

SLIM: And you be careful you
don't step in between us.

And you had me feeling
sorry for you.

What a cheap trick.

You're bragging
on yourself honey,

busting up the family,

running off like you did.

Don't talk to me.

You realize what
you're doing, child?

You're turning on your own
flesh and blood.

She don't think about nobody
but her own self.

Now, get the other g*n.

Don't do it, honey.

If you turn us over to him,

you'll never forgive yourself.

I'm gonna marry him, Pa.

You marry him, a rancher?

Well, you'll die inside.

You'll never be happy
bogged down on a ranch.

You're a McCanles.

Don't listen to him, Troy.

You belong with us, Troy.

Sure, we've had our fights.

Every family does.

But deep down inside,
we love each other,
and we're loyal.

Good girl.

Move closer together.

We're gonna ride.

Hold it right where
you are, Slim.

Now, don't turn around.

I'm aiming right between
your shoulder blades,

and I won't miss.

Drop your g*n.

If you go with them,
sooner or later

you're gonna wind up exactly
where they're gonna wind up,

behind bars.

If you don't drop
that g*n, Slim,

I'm going to have to sh**t you.

Now, don't make me do it.

I can't, Troy.

[ g*nsh*t ]

Get him, Pa.

I have one more b*llet.

I'm not gonna hurt him none.

I'm just gonna get his g*n.

All right.

Let him up.

All right. Now, get on
your horses and ride.

Good for you, Troy.

Glad you come to your senses.

[laughs]

I'm sorry, Slim.

So am I.

It never would have worked out.

Pa was right.

I'll always be a McCanles.

HOMER:
Come on, let's go.

Yeehaw! Whoo hoo!

[ music ]

Where did you find him?

Outside the fence
on the east section.

Got a lot miles behind him.

Yeah. He sure looks
that way, doesn't he?

I saw the minister in town.

Says he's gonna be back
in the pulpit by Sunday.

Oh, that's fine.

I know he was too
tough to go under.

Hey, you know, Slim...

if I was the curious kind,

I'd wonder just what did
happen the other night.

Yeah, of course, you're not
the curious kind, Jess.

[ music ]