01x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

Hey, Shifty. Hey, you old b*stard.

Leanne.

What are you doing here?
You going to church?

Yeah, right!

No, I'm dropping some flowers
on my old man's grave.

Nice.

What you doing after that?

Going to a swap meet. Why?

Can I come?

I don't think so.

I'm bored, Shifty.
Don't be such a dumbshit arsehole.

Listen here, Leanne, I told you
to quit with the swearing!

I'll be off this bike as soon as
look at you and slap your arse!

Tell you what I'll do.

Stay with me bike,

see no-one touches it,

then I'll think about
taking you to the swap meet.

f*cking deal.

Whoa! Soap and water, Leanne!

Yeah, soap and bloody water
and don't be too bloody long.

Good morning!

Hello, mate.

Hey.

Look what's under there.

Happy Father's Day.

Thanks, mate. Thank you.

What are they?

Thanks very much!

Happy Father's Day.

Jesus Christ, Leroy.
We won't have any left!

The trick's getting the pressure
right in the b*stard.

Just use your bloody mouth!

Yeah, I tried that! Hurts in here.

Just leave it alone, OK? Let me
do that. You come and do this.

Nice day for it.

Aye.

You know, my father,
he never approved of Father's Day.

He said it was a capitalist plot

designed to separate
the worker from his money.

Me, I'd rather enjoy it, you know?

A day of reflection
of the importance

of being the man of the house.

Not my father.
No time for reflection there.

Course, growing up in the Gorbals
forges a man politically.

Goebbels was a n*zi.

What?

You know.

# Hitler has only got one ball #

# Goering, his are way too small #

# Himmler had something sim'lar #

# But poor old Goebbels
had no ba*ls at all. #

What are you talking about,
you clown?

I'm talking about Father's Day and
growing up in the Glasgow slums.

I mean, what the f*ck has that got
to do with the Third Reich, Leroy?

Don't say another word, pal. OK?

Are you going to the swap meet?

Yeah. Fog's picking me up.
Good.

'Cause I've got a neighbour
coming over. He's a drainer. Yeah?

You'd probably be out of your depth.

I'll show you how to do this.

It's too fast, see?

Hey, Bull.

You coming to Milperra?

Nah.

Everybody's going.

I'm not.

Well, how am I supposed
to get there? I need a lift.

That's not my problem.

Hey, Chopper.
Christine.

Big night out?

Yeah, always.

Come here.

Hey. You know this is compulsory,
don't you?

Snoddy wants us all there.

Fair dinkum.

Babe, do you mind if I drop Chop off
and have a couple of beers?

Well, you're lucky
it's Father's Day.

I'll only be a couple of hours.
I promise.

Better bring him home...
Come here.

Otherwise I'll be doing
the cooking.

No, no! That's my barbeque.
You don't touch that!

Yeah, well, you've been told!
You, you're a bully.

See ya.
Alright? And you smell.

Hit it, Leroy.

Backhand.

Forehand. Backhand.

Leroy.

Game, set, match.

Oh!

After the meet, come back
for a feed, if you like.

Oh, we're thinking out heading
to Mittagong for a bit of a run.

Well, enjoy yourselves.

Going to see if there's
any interest.

See who turns up at the club.

If you do decide to come back, get
Snowie to bring some meat, eh?

I wouldn't mind a bit of a run,
Pres.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't
mind that either.

Poor old thing hardly gets a ride
these days.

I heard that.

OK!

Ready? And go!

Hang on! Hang on!
No, wait!

What's going on here?
Go on. Bring me in, bring me in!

Come on, come on, come on!

What are we doing?
Chop, come on!

Here we go. Alright.
One, two, three, four!

Ow! f*ck!

Guys, no, we're supposed to...

Roo, come on in. Come on, Roo!
You show us then!

Come on, mate.
You got to show us.

Come on.

Here we go.

Oi!
Oi!

Oh, the double!

What is that?!

Going to get my beer.

Fair dinkum. That's dangerous.

I thought you weren't coming.

Yeah, well, stinky fingers needed
a lift and I felt like a beer.

It's a waste of time anyway.
They're not going to show.

Too public. Too many people.

What can you do at a swap meet
anyway?

It's like... fighting in church.

I'm getting too old for this sh*t.

You love it!

Not like I used to.

You're so full of crap!

Mate, we can't do this forever.

I can. It's in my blood.

You just do it
'cause Caeser does it.

Bullshit!

Mate, you copy everything he does!

Such a load of crap.

If he put on lipstick,
you'd go and buy a bloody dress!

Oi, go and get f*cked.

Aw, see? Nice.
You need a better role model.

Like you?

Yes! Solid, dependable,
incredibly good looking...

Solid?

Yes!

What do you call this? Hey?

What about it?
An old couch losing its padding?

Ease up!

Storing fat for the winter?

Mate, this is a fuel tank for a f*ck
machine and don't you forget it!

Hey! He done it!

Oh, stop it! Stop teasing!
Oh, no. You're mine!

This is how you dance with ladies,
gentlemen.

I use the term 'gentlemen'
very lightly.

Hey, Leanne! Leanne! Hey!

Hi, Dad!

What are you doing here?

Oh, I got a late start.

You're not working, are you?

Yeah, yeah.
I'm going down the snow.

But it's Father's Day.

I got you a present.

I don't need nothing like that.

But it's really good.
I got it from the Avon lady.

Oh, you should hang on to your
money, love.

I got a job now, Dad.
Making and folding curtains.

Yeah, well, you should be at school,
you know?

Yeah, well, I'm in the real world
now, ain't I?

So, where you living?

At Melinda's.
With her mum and her aunty.

Oh, yeah? That going alright?

Uh, you know.

Do you speak to your mum much?

Not really.

Hey, maybe I could come with you,
Dad?

Down the snow.

Yeah, well, why not?

You being my daughter and all,
don't think the boss would mind.

That's great.

Not this trip though.

Like, I'd have to
ask him permission.

What about your present?

Well, you could come over
during the week.

You know, Lorraine and I have moved.
You know where we are, yeah?

Uh, yeah.

There's my lift.

It was really good seeing you, love.

Yeah, you too.

You keep out of trouble now.

Never!

Is that it?

Aren't you going to take one
from the side?

No.

With the harbour in the back.

No!

It's a better photo!

So?

So, why don't you take one?

What for?!

I just want a decent
bloody photo of my bike.

Is it too much to bloody ask?!

Come on!

Come on.

You had your finger
over the bloody...

lens. Here.

Maybe it's got a self timer.

What's up your arse today?

Look, I'm just going to sit it
on something.

The swap meet.
You're worried about the swap meet.

What?

You don't have to worry
about the bloody Commos, mate.

Course I have to worry
about the bloody Commos.

I heard Snow's got a new
shovel rigid

with a 56 frame and a 76 engine.

Shits all over this piece of sh*t.

Sexy!

f*cking Bandaids.

What?

They just drove past my house.

What do you mean?

Well, they wanted me to see them.

They're headed for the swap meet.
I know it.

Oh. So it's on.

So, what are we going to do?

You get to the club as quick as you
can and I'll round everyone up. Go.

What are you waiting for? Go!

Foggy?

Aye. Yeah.

Yeah, it's on.

It's on!

Jude, how's it going?

Ah, hey, Mike!
Yeah, it's going real good!

I reckon there's about 20 stalls
here already,

there'll be more on the way.

You going to make
your money on them?

Yeah, yeah.
We'll get to 30, I reckon.

Five bucks a stall -
that's 150 bucks.

Plus the roast and the raffles.

And the wet T-shirt.

Yeah, that as well!
You might even clear 500 bucks.

Oh, I hope so.

Wet T-shirt comp.
Reckon I should enter?

No. I don't.

Don't be an arsehole, Shifty.

Watch it, Leanne,
or I'll take you home!

I want to have some fun!

Buy me a vodka and orange, please!

No way!

Hey! I'm old enough to drink!

No! You're not old enough.

And just because you do
doesn't mean...

Boring old sh*t!

Jeez, you're a handful, Leanne.

You can have a cordial.

Bit of ice. One of those umbrellas!

I don't understand
what you have to be here for.

I thought we were having a day
with Mum and Dad.

That was the plan.

Then someone rings
and it all goes out the window.

It's the way it works.

We were supposed to be going
to the golf club for drinks.

I know.

Yeah, well, I'm still going to go.

So you should.

Sorry.

See you.

Foggy, what are they for?

So we can talk.

Snowie's going to have this one.

Here. Go over there.

Can you hear me? Over.

You want to go
to the zoo tomorrow?

What?

They got this condor there.
I want to pinch it.

We can keep it here.

What?!
A Californian condor.

Alright, they got
a 10-foot wingspan.

They live for 50 years!

We can go to the zoo tomorrow,
alright?

Yeah.
Over.

And out.

This is it, eh?

I s'pose.

What if it's just the four of us?

Then we can all go home.

Yep.

Bye!

Who was that?

My mum.
She's taking Joely for the weekend.

Since when? You didn't tell me.

Yes, I did.

Why didn't she say hello?

'Cause you were in the shed.

I thought he was going
to the Campbells'?

Yeah, I don't like
the way they play.

They're real rough
and I'm not going to go myself.

Why not?

Because I got the day to myself.

Clean up and have a bath,
finish my book.

They're expecting you.

I don't think they'll miss me, Snod.

Dance with me.

It's going to be that sort of day,
is it?

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Well,
so much for a day with the family.

Bloody obsessed with the Bandidos.

Not doing you any good either!

Listen, I've got to do
what I've got to do.

Yeah, but do you have to go
looking for a fight?

I'm not looking for a fight!

Don't you yell at me!

Just mind your own business, OK?

Well,
if you're not my business, what is?

This is my club, Vanessa, alright?
These are my men.

At least you get to ride
the poor bloody thing!

Don't give me that. You love it.

Love what?

Sitting around, chewing the fat.
Talking women stuff.

Is that what you think we do?
Yeah.

I've changed my mind.

I've got better things to do
than sit around

with a bunch of bikie widows.

Babe, hey, hey, hey.

It's alright. Stop it.
I'm serious. Stop it!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Just go and hang
with the other old ladies.

It's a club day
and I really want you there.

f*cking club.

I'll make it up to you.

When I get back from the swap meet,
the rest of the day is yours.

OK?
Better be.

Cross me heart.

Yeah, well, my legs will be crossed
the minute you forget it.

I love you.
Love you.

No barbeque
'till Bull gets here.

I'm on strict instructions.

Men and their cooking.
Would they boil you an egg?

I know.

Oh! Hey!

Hey.
Hey.

Boiling an egg's
not manly enough for you.

But a barbie's different.
It's man against fire.

You know, that's a challenge.

God save the bloody meat!

What's Snoddy like
in the kitchen?

He's great in the kitchen.

It's got nothing to do
with his cooking though.

When are you going to the States?

Oh, I don't know.

Snod loved it, you know?

Can't wait to take me and Joely
to Disneyland, but...

got to save up, I guess.

Yeah, well, don't tell my lot.
There's bloody heaps of them.

Can't see that ever happening.

We took 'em to
'Walt Disney's World on Ice' once.

The Campbells love breeding,
that's for sure.

Think of Phyllis and 17 children.

You mind if I don't?

You and Snoddy will have
another one, won't you?

Yeah, think so.
Yeah, he wants a daughter.

A daughter?
Mmm.

Why?
'Cause he thinks boys are trouble.

I'm going to go check on the kids.

So, are you worried?

About the boys?

I don't see the point of worrying.

If they bash each other's heads in
then I know which side I'm on.

Hey, Lard.

Mate, you're a rover.

What?

Certain blokes have got targets

and the rovers are there
to protect them.

So I want you to bash anyone
who gets on top of our blokes.

Yeah. Right.

Roo.

Snod.
How's it going?

I don't know. You tell me.

Well, hopefully they're
not going to show.

There's an idea.

Chop.
Hey.

We need to talk g*ns.

Taking them.

I'd prefer if we didn't.

Well, those b*stards have got them.
We know that.

We'll wait another hour or so
for everyone to get in,

then we'll head off.

Leave the Rossi with me and take
the rest with you in Bull's car.

He's going to love that.

He'll get over it.

All we're doing is showing them
we're armed as well.

If they start firing?

It's not going to happen.

Well, this is it.

Now, listen up,
this is what we're going to do.

We're going to go for an hour,
have our show, and then we'll leave.

And if they're there,
you make no mistake, it's on.

So, those on bikes go in colours.
Cars go in support of the bikes.

And more than likely
we're going to be outnumbered.

So tactics are going to be
important.

The whole thing needs
to be controlled.

Snow and Fog, be in radio contact
and under my command the whole time.

Now, with g*ns,
I want you to listen up.

You think of them as a deterrent,
right? A last resort.

And they are not to be loaded
when you're driving in the cars.

And if you have to sh**t, you sh**t
at the legs. Do I make myself clear?

Yeah.
Yes, Pres.

Now, this is the type of day
that can make a club.

It's also the type of day
that can break one.

And as my father used to say,

"You hold your head high
'cause there's money bid for you."

You go hard, you go straight,
and you listen to orders.

And you wear these colours
with pride!

- Comancheros forever!
- Forever Comanchero!

Let's go!

G'day, fellas.

You here setting up a stall
or are you just looking for parts?

Oh, just parts.

What are you planning to do
with that?

What's it to you?
This is my turf, mate.

Good for you, mate.

This is a nice quiet family day.

What do you need
with a baseball bat?

Protection.
From what?

Pricks that piss me off.

Where's your pres?

There he is, just over there.

Fog, it's Snow. Any sign of anyone?

No, not yet. Over.

You mind telling me what you need
with a walkie-talkie?

Well, that's a radio.
It's hardly an offensive weapon.

No, but that is.

That's my golok, mate.

It's my badge of office.
I take it everywhere.

What about your mate
with the baseball bat?

You're probably all
carrying something.

Here we go.

Assuming the worst of me and my
boys, just like everyone else.

I don't want any trouble.

There's not going to be any trouble,
pal. OK?

Unless the Bandaids turn up.

You need to tell all your men
to put their weapons away.

Now, get rid of that,
the baseball bat,

and anything else you're carrying.

You understand?
Is that right, is it?

Well, I tell you what, mate.
I'll think about it.

I'm ringing the cops.

Hey, I don't know if that's a good
idea. Bikies don't like the law.

Foggy's at his checkpoint.

There's kids here, Jock.

I know that, Snow.

What you doing?

They got a g*n.

That's why we're going to head right
up here, well away from any trouble.

Who are they?

You don't want to know, Leanne.

When you see them
I just want numbers. OK?

How many bikes, how many cars,
how many on bikes.

I don't care who they are, who's
out in front - I just want numbers.

You got that? Over.

Yeah.

I'm think I need someone with me.

No, you don't, alright?

You stay put. You're out of trouble
over there. Over.

Have you got that?

Yep, got it. Over.

I'll check the flanks. Over.

We ready yet?

Still waiting on a few stragglers.

Alright.

Hey, we're still going, aren't we?

'Cause I've been polishing
my bike all week.

A competition.
Yeah.

I'd normally win this sort of thing
'cause I've got the...

Easy Rider pegs.

Yeah? It's good to see
you're single-minded, mate.

Only way to win, Snod.
Only way to win!

Been thinking about a long weekend.
We should plan a decent run.

Yeah.

What about Labour Day?
That'd be good.

Up to the Walls of China
or Bald Rock National Park.

Yeah, well, we haven't done it
for a while.

Camp overnight or stay at a pub
or something.

Well, I better get me bike
back on the road!

What's wrong with it?

It's a Harley, mate.

Why do you think I'm driving
the bloody wagon?

I'm thinking of getting another one.

Oh, you're a sucker for punishment.

Someone's got to do it, mate.

I hear you.

You got anything?

Anything happening down there?

Nah, nothing, mate. Over.

Nothing.

These gutless pricks
aren't going to show.

You sound disappointed, Jock.

We've got to face them
sometime, Snow.

I'd just rather get it over with.

Snow?

Yeah?
What's going on, mate?

I don't know.

I think Jock's gone in
for a drink or something.

- Hello?
- Uh, Ness, it's me.

What happened?

Well, nothing happened.
They didn't show.

I'll have a beer
and I'll be home in half an hour.

OK. Bye.

Cheers, Pres.

Change, love. Cheers.

Smells good.

Yeah, it does.

Here you go.

Are you a Commo?

Comanchero?

Yeah.

I'm with my bikie friend.

Are ya?

Do you know Shifty?

Yeah, I know him.

He warned me
to stay away from youse.

Who's next?

Uh, one lamb sandwich, please.

Mm-hm. That'll be a dollar, love.
Is it?

Mm-hm.

How much have you got?

It's alright. I'll pay for those,
and two or me.

That's sweet of you, mate.

There you go.

Thanks, mister.
Thank you. No worries.

What can I get for you, mate?

To those f*cking cowards,
the Bandaids.

Yellow-livered f*ck.

Too scared to show their face
and sh*t their pants in public.

I give you the one and only,

the greatest club

in this whole f*cking sunburnt,
Dorothea Mackellar country of ours.

The glorious, undefeated, Comanchero
outlaw motorcycle club of Australia.

- Comancheros Forever!
- Forever Comancheros!

- Comancheros Forever!
- Forever Comancheros!

- Comancheros Forever!
- Forever Comancheros!

Comancheros Forever!

Forever Comancheros!

Aye.

Aye.

Foggy. They're here.

Foggy.

Foggy!

Foggy! Foggy, where are you?!

f*ck!

Now, boys.

Let's go, Kid.

Where's your pres?
He needs to help stop this!

He needs to help me stop this!
It's too late!

Get your guys
to put their g*ns down.

Where the f*ck's Jock?

What do you reckon, boys?
Bullhorn ambush or a battle wedge?

I'm going in. Cover me.

No firing.

Why don't you put the g*ns down?

Fight like men.

You better get that g*n out of my
face before I shove it up your arse.