02x09 - The Card Carrying Red Shoes

[bunniefuu]

There it is.

Natasha. Please, Natasha,
you must listen to reason.

I'm sick and tired of dancing and
rehearsing twenty-four hours a day.

You're right. It's too much.
From now on,

take twenty minutes for lunch.
But first, shoes?

Why must you check my shoes
every time I wiggle my foot?

Oh, you don't understand, my dear.

Hopes of all people from Druvania
is underneath your feet.

Ah. But with the people under
my feet and you on my back,

it is impossible to dance!

You know, that's hard to believe.

We-we lug this thing down here
with all our instruments in it,

and they make us play these, uh-

These Druvanian instruments
are really weird.

I don't understand that I
can't get a sound out of this.

- Give me a-string instrument.
- Are you there?

You are there.

Alright, alright, everybody.
Everybody here for rehearsal?

Prepare yourself, rehearsal band.

Natasha Pavlova will soon
be ready to dance.

Mickelovich Dolenzovich will
soon be ready to play.

How soon will Dolenzovich
be ready to play?

As soon as Dolenzovich finds
out which end to put in his mouth.

Micky.

Micky, Micky, it's a
string instrument.

Right, man.

Nicolai! Nicolai!

Natasha! What happened?

I can't go on.

Why not?

Because the feet on which
rests the hope of

Druvania are getting very cold,
and Ivan has my shoes.

What? Ivan! Ivan! Quickly,
Natasha's getting cold feet.

You mean she's afraid to go on stage?

No, you fool. You've got her shoes,
and the floor is freezing!

Precious microfilm is still
in toe of her shoes;

customs will never think to look
there when we leave country.

Good, good, spasibo.
Now, rehearsal!

My apologies to
you and to your feet.

Ready, musicians?

We are ready.

You are not ready.

We are not ready. Why?

Because that one is playing a lamp!

Oh!

Oh. Well, uh, how about a
little strobe effect?

Yeah, psychedelic, freak out!

Ah, oh, ah!

I am ready.

Now! And a one, a two, three, four!

Stop, stop.
Wait, wait, wait.

Hey, there's a, there's a wrong
note in here someplace.

Take it out.

Take it out. Take it out.
Forget the note.

? Frodis. ?

Frodis.

Oh, you stupid fool!

Me? It's those incompetents!

You have abused me for the
last time. Ah, what a face! Ah!

What happened?

Those miserable creatures,
they can't play music!

? Reeneeper... ?
? Reeber soben... ?

Natasha?

Natasha!

Natasha? Natasha?

- Anybody seen Natasha?
- Hey, Natasha!

Where's Natasha?
Hello, Natasha?

- Natasha? Hey, Natasha?
- Natasha, baby!

Natasha?

- Here, boy! Here, boy!
- Out!

You miserable musicians!

Get out of the theater,
and get out of my life!

Ah, don't beat around
the bush, man.

Do you want us for the run
of the show or not?

- Out!
- Right, out, yeah!

- We don't want this thing.
- Out!

- Goodbye!
- See ya.

- Write when you get work.
- Have a nice dance!

Taking it easy and-

- Oh, are we in your way?
- Out!

- Out!
- Out!

Oh, sorry. Oh.

- Out!
- Out!

Out! Out!

She's gone, and the secret
microfilm is gone with her.

Druvania will get it back.
We will k*ll if we have to,

but we will squash anyone
who gets in our way.

Here we come
Walkin' down the street

We get the funniest looks from
Ev'ry one we meet

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around

But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down

We're just tryin' to be friendly
Come and watch us sing and play

We're the young generation
And we've got something to say

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
You never know where we'll be found

So you better get ready,

We may be comin' to your town

Oh! What's in this thing,
a dead body?

A-ha! Wrong again, Natasha
Pavlova's alive and well.

One false move and
I sh**t all of you.

- With your finger?
- Ah!

- Except for him.
- Huh?

Wh-what's the difference
between him and us?

Ah, come here, face. Oh, ever
since I saw you in the theater,

I said to myself, that face,
that beautiful, beautiful, mm, face.

Uh, now, let's understand this.

You mean you're gonna sh**t us
and keep him because of his face?

W-what do you think this is,
chopped liver? Yeah, these two, yeah.

Well, it can't you every week, Davy.

Now, now, look, miss. You know,
g*ns really never solved anything.

They're not the solution to the problem,
they're only a coward's way out.

Wouldn't you rather talk-talk it over
in-instead of hiding behind a g*n?

Now, why don't
you give it to me?

- Alright, hands up!
- Oh, no!

- You're taking orders from me!
- Oh, please!

Not you, dingaling!

You can't do this, Micky.

Shut up, face! You're gonna walk down
Primrose Lane with babushka here,

while Jones and I are
gonna walk the last mile,

the road of no return,
the last goodbye!

Yeah, the primrose and the lane and the...
w-what is all this-

- I don't have no idea.
- primrose stuff here, what is this?

Not bad for a long haired
weirdo, huh, America? Huh.

Oh!

Now see what you've
been and gone and done?

This is my last chance
to stay in America.

Now I'll have to go back
to Ivan and Druvania.

Brute.

Natasha, it's me: the face.

Go away, face.

Don't worry, Natasha.
I won't let them take you away.

I'll fight to the death to protect you.

But Peter, she's a big star.

Th-th-this could lead to
an international incident.

Maybe, maybe w*r. The whole
world could be destroyed.

Don't worry. If the whole
world is destroyed,

I'll take the responsibility.

With a little more ego,
he could be president.

I'll stay here with Natasha;
you go see the Druvanian ambassador.

Speak quickly, I'm a busy man.

Well you see, we're
The Monkees, and, um-

Monkees? Guard,
throw them out of here!

No, you don't understand-wait a minute,
there's a ballerina that came-

- Wait! A ballerina?
- Yeah!

Is she medium height, good figure?

Right!

With long brown hair in a ponytail?

Yeah!

Wearing a red leotard tutu
and red ballet shoes?

Yeah!

Does she answer to the
name of Natasha Pavlova?

Right!

Never heard of her.
Throw them out.

Right, throw us out, ah!

We'll get Natasha back, ambassador.
I'll stake my life on it.

Yes, ambassador, but that's
all I have to give.

No, no. No, please.
Natasha, I-

My beautiful face. Don't go away, face.
Come back to me, face.

Oh, face, I love you.
Don't be afraid, face.

Who's afraid?

Ah! Oh, such agility, such grace!
It makes me love you more.

Oh, well. In that case,
I take it back.

Oh, but what's the matter, face?
Don't you love me?

Well, I love you, and my face loves you,
it's just my body that's out of shape.

Oh, come back, face, face,
you're beautiful, face!

Stop, please, stop, hold it.
Stay back, back!

Rwar! Face, face. Oh. The arrow
of love burns deep in my heart.

I'll get you a bicarbonate of soda.

And now, let whatever
happens, happen.

Let me in, Monkee,
I've come to k*ll you.

Oh, thank goodness.

Quickly, quickly. Come hide
in the trunk with me.

Oh, uh. You hide in the trunk;
I'll go take my chances with Ivan.

But my Petrov, he is dangerous!

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

What are you going to do?

I think I'll pretend to be sick.

So, we will break the door down.

Da!

One, two-

Three.

Ah! Natasha! Natasha?
Natashenka? Natasha?

Where is she?
Where is she?

Well, she's certainly
not in the trunk.

He's no use; he's unconscious.

Let us take him back to the
theater. We question him there.

But he will connect us
up with microfilm.

Not if he's dead.
Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha.

And-and then they came,
and they, and they took him away,

and they said they will make him talk.

Talk? Never. They can t*rture him,
beat him, drug him. He'll never talk.

There's only one t*rture he can't

withstand though; I pray
they don't use that.

What's that?

The direct question.

I think we better go to
the theater. Come on.

- Yeah. Wait!
- What?

I think it's kinda risky going
on their home territory.

Risks? You talk about risks
when-when my Petrov's life is in danger?

Did, uh, Paul Rewere talk about risks?

She's right.

Did Nathan Hale talk about risks?

She's right!

Did George Washington talk about risks?

She's right,
but she's got a big mouth.

Together we will persevere,
and together we will win. Forward!

Together we will march!
Together we will fight!

Together we will win!

Together we will find ourselves in places
we don't have any business being.

We gotta find him, man.
We gotta find him.

- Peter?
- Peter?

Who are you?

Whoa, um.

We are investigating the
disappearance of Natasha Pavlova.

Are you from the MKVD?

No, we're from the BVD.

I never heard of the BVD.

- Well, we investigate the MKBVD-
- VD-

-'cause we're an undercover
organization that undercovers the, uh...

We cover the unders,
and when we're under the covers,

the BVD is known as the underweir.

So, you were sent to find ballerina.
Strange, I have same assignment.

Oh. Well, isn't that great?

'Cause two of us, um-

Uh, you find a ballerina,
and we find the ballerina,

that'll be two ballerinas.

When we find 'em, we'll bring 'em to ya.

A reservoir. Bonjour, monsieur.

Nice American traitor, what do
you know about microfilm, hm?

Nothing, nothing. I don't
even go to the movies.

You know nothing? We'll see
after the brainwash is complete.

Brainwash?
Well, if you're gonna brainwash me,

you better use a good detergent.

New Reebersober's brain
detergent doesn't fade,

bleach, or shrink your brains.

You fool.

And it comes in an
unbreakable plastic bottle,

but be sure it doesn't
get in your eyes.

Hey, Pete!
Hey, Peter!

- Have you seen Pete?
- I bet he's around here somewhere.

- Hey, Peter!
- Where is he?

Hey, pardon me.

I, uh-pardon me, sir.

- One...
- Did you happen to notice a-

Two...

-prisoner, possibly being
held again his own will?

Who, at this very moment,
may be in front of a firing squad,

uh, named Peter Tork.

If you did, we'd like
to save his life.

Oh. Just a second.

Hey, is your name Peter Tork?

No, it's not.

Okay, sorry to bother you.

It's alright.

My error.

That's alright.
We'll see you later.

Alright! Rehearse.

Right, rehearsal.

Yeah.

You. Good.
Very good. Excellent.

Lousy. Marvelous.

You. Who are you?
You are not dancers.

We're replacements.

- Replacements?
- Yeah.

Well, let me see you dance.

Right.

? Ya ta... ?

Not that kind of dancing.
Russian dancing.

Oh, Russian dancing. Oh.

Sock it to me! Sock it to me!
Sock it to me!

Ha! Sock it to me! Ha! h*, ha!
Sock it to you. Sock it to everybody.

Let's, uh, spliterino.

h*! Ha! We better split. Ha!

Yes, here we go.

They were lousy dancers.
They were those musicians!

Uh, "And unless Natasha is returned
for tonight's premiere,

Peter Tork will die. Signed, a friend.

" Ooh. "P.S. If she can't
come, send her shoes."

Oh! I must return and dance tonight.

If I let my Petrov die,
he will never forgive me.

We will all return to the theater
tonight. I have a plan.

- He's got a plan.
- He's got a plan.

Natasha, I am so happy that you
have seen error of your ways.

Then you will let the boy go?

As soon as we leave country.

But we will be on tour
for six months.

He will enjoy it on the road.

Natasha, welcome back.

I will not go on.

You will go on,
and you'll be magnificent.

You will dance your Chicken Lake
as you have never danced it before.

Now, how are your lovely red shoes?

They're fine.

You mean they're really fine?

They're really fine.

You're sure they're really,
really, really fine?

I mean that they are really,
really, really, really, really fine.

Really, really, really fine?

Really, really, really fine.

Really fine?

Really fine.

You mean really fine?

Uh, that's fine. Real fine.

Really fine?

Magnificently fine.
Heh heh heh heh heh.

Natasha, Natasha!
Did you find Peter?

No, no, not yet!

Oh, Ivan the Terrible must've
hidden him someplace.

I saw him go next door. If only
we could hear them. Do you have a glass?

Sure, here's a glass.

I saw this done in a movie
once; it should work.

Well, what'd ya hear?

I'm sorry, you've reached
a disconnected wall.

Now that we know the microfilm
is safe, when do we dispose of boy?

It will be at the very end
of Natasha's solo.

You will take a gigantic
leap into the air.

Just as your feet touch the ground,
there will be a cymbal crash,

and when that cymbal crashes,
we will choke him.

How did you ever think of
such an intricate plan?

I saw it in a movie.

Look, Natasha. You've got to stall
your dance while we hunt for Peter.

Let's just hope that-that Ivan
doesn't make that final leap into the air.

And if he does, you make
sure he doesn't come down.

I'll try. I better get into
my costume. Oh, my ankle!

What's the matter, Natasha?

I don't know, I think I've
sprained it. I can't go on!

Natasha.

Can I come in? It's almost
time for our entrance.

I'll be out there in
just a few minutes.

Oh, uh, what a drag,
don't you have an understudy?

No, an understudy wouldn't
know the plan.

Somebody's gotta do dat dance
or else Peter's gonna die.

You're right, Micky.
Good idea.

Natasha.

Okay, Micky. Come on.
Get dressed.

I don't wanna be a chicken.
I don't wanna be a chicken.

Come on, get dressed.

I don't wanna be a chicken.
I don't wanna be a chicken.

Its OK.
Don't worry.

Ward, I don't wanna be a chicken.
I don't wanna be a chicken.

I don't wanna be a chicken.
I don't wanna be a chicken.

I'm a chicken.
I'm a chicken.

You look great.
You look great.

Ah, you look beautiful, Micky.

Natasha!

We'll be late, Natasha, for entrance.

Ah! We better hide. Come on,
I'll help you. Steady.

Bwack, bwack. Come in!

Come, my dear. You will dance Chicken Lake
like they have never seen it danced before.

Bwack, bwack!

That's for sure.

Bwack, bwack! Bwack
bwack-bwack bwack bwack.

Bwack-bwack-bwack,
bwack-bwack, bwack-bwack...

So the government decided
you could stay in America.

That means we'll see a
lot of each other.

Oh, no, my Petrov. I have decided
we are too different.

It is not enough to be
infatuated with a face.

Aw, that face!
However, true love requires more

a-a mutual understanding
and a common background.

Now, happily, I have found
someone who-ah! There he is now.

My new friend.

Come in, Alexei.

Ah, that face. Ah!

Do the ronde ronde
ronde do the rond rond

How old d'you say
your sister was?

Sister was, sister was

How old d'you say
your sister was?

Sister was, sister was

You know you'd better
keep an eye on her

Eye on her, eye on her

Do the ronde ronde ronde
do the rond rond

She hangs out,

she hangs out

I know you taught your
sister the bugaloo

Bugaloo, bugaloo

I heard you taught your
sister the shigaling too

Shigaling too,
shigaling too

Well, she can teach
you a thing or two

A thing or two, thing or two

Do the ronde ronde
ronde do the rond rond

She hangs out

She hangs out

Well, she hangs out,

hangs out

every night, every night

You know you best get
down here on the double

Before she gets her
pretty little self in trouble

She's so fine

so fine

I say, how old d'you
say your sister was?

Sister was, sister was

How old d'you say
your sister was?

Sister was, sister was

You know you'd better
keep an eye on her

Eye on her, eye on her

Do the ronde ronde
ronde do the rond rond

She hangs out

She hangs out

She hangs out

In this generation
In this lovin' time

In this generation
We will make the world shine

We were born to love one another
This is somethin', we all need

We were born to love one another
We must be what we're goin' to be

And what we have to be, is free

Love is understandin'
We gotta be free

Love is understandin'
We gotta be free

We gotta be free

We gotta be free