03x18 - The Thomas Treasure

[bunniefuu]

Ok, that's 2 hamburgers,

A bowl of chili,

Couple of frankfurters
with some sauerkraut,

Chocolate shake,
and 3 apple pie a la modes.

Now, dwayne and dee,
what can I get you?

Hey, what's happenin'?

[Dwayne]
hey, what's up, raj?

Have I got some
exciting news for you.

Now, I have been working
on this sociology project
at school.

Oh, that's exciting, raj.

Wake me
when he finishes, dwayne.

Will you knock it off?

Now, listen to this, dwayne,
and dee, you and shirley--

Wait, wait, wait.
I'm listening.

You are now living
in a very famous house.

Uh, you are talkin' about
your mother's house?

That's right. I found it
when I was going through
this 1927 newspaper.

Wow. And I thought
our paperboy was slow.

And listen,

"Duke morgan,
one of america's
most wanted criminals

"Was captured within hours
of a daring daylight robbery

"Of the westlake trust bank.

"Morgan was surrounded
by police

"And forced at gunpoint
from his hideout

At 534 oakmont avenue."

That's our address.

That's what I said.

Oh, and listen to this.

"The $2,500 taken
from westlake trust bank

Was not recovered."

Mmm-hmm.

Wait a minute.

If he had the money when
he went into the house...

And he didn't have it
when he came out...

The money is still
in the house!

Oh, man! Oh, wow!

$2,500! What I could do
with $2,500.

Wait a minute.

Now calm down.

You're talkin' about somethin'
that happened 50 years ago.

And second of all,

There couldn't possibly be
any money in that house.

Look.

Oh.

Yoo-hoo! Money.

It's your friend, rerun.

Yoo-hoo! $2,500.
Come, come. Where are you?

I know you're hiding
someplace.

Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

Come to dwayne.
Money, money, money.

Rerun. Re-rerun!

What are you pounding?

Raj, I think I got
the bottom step loose.

Ok, look.

We have to
go about this intelligently.

Then we've got
the wrong group.

Raj, I've got the step loose!

Rerun, will you put that back
before shirley comes in?

You know she'll be mad if
she sees the step like that.

[Door closes]

Hi, beautiful.

What have you done
to the place?
What's goin' on here?

Uh, I lost my contact lens.

Dwayne, you don't
wear contact lenses.

[Tittering]

Well, maybe that's why
I couldn't find one. Bye.

Uh-uh!

Look at the mess
you all made.

I mean, you ought to be
ashamed of yourselves!

I mean, I thought you had
more sense, especially you,

Than to go huntin'
for some money.

Just look, look at
the furniture. Look at it.

And look at the step.

Oh, oh, don't...
Wait, don't miss this.
Look at this rug.

Look, I see somethin' green.

Oh, rip that sucker up.

Green, my favorite color.
You see any presidents' faces?

No, it's just
a candy bar wrapper.

Mr. Chocolate chew.

Oh, it contains egg white,
sugar, starch--

Rerun, what else
is in there?

Oh, peanuts,
vegetable oil, vanilla.

Rerun, what else
is in the step?
Step! Right here!

Oh.

Just another candy wrapper.

"Westlake trust bank."

Westlake trust bank!

Wait, wait a minute!

This is a money wrapper.

This is from the same bank
that was held up
by duke morgan.

That proves it!

Proves what?

The money is still here.

Sounds logical to me.

Uh, raj, you're sounding
logical to dwayne.

Now that should
tell you somethin'.

Shirley, the money wrapper
is the clue.

Clue. You want a clue?
I'll give you a clue.

Guess who's gonna be
on the outside of that door

In about 5 seconds?

[Laughs]
you mean us?

Good work, sherlock. Yes.

Ok, 5 seconds are up.
Let's go. That's it.

Out!

But, shirley--
thank you, baby.

Out.
Later.

Hey, well,
it wasn't a total loss.

I found this quarter
on the couch.

Yes, we did. Bye, baby.

Well, look at this mess, dee.

Hey, it goes to show you
what fools

People can turn into
over little money.

I can take it
or leave it alone.

You can leave money alone?

Sure. If you leave it alone,
you earn 7.5%

And you avoid
substantial penalty
for early withdrawals.

[Yawns]

[Knocking on door]

Oh. What kind of fools
would be knockin'

At the door
this time of mornin'?

You know,
we got to thinkin', shirley,

It's not safe for you girls
to be here by yourselves.

Yeah, with no man
to do the heavy work.

Yeah, so we just thought
we'd help out with
the dusting a little bit.

Yeah, I'll dust over here
by the bookcase.

And I'll dust over here
underneath the carpet.

Who do you clowns
think you're foolin'?

Fooling?

I know
you're after the money.

What money, baby?

And listen here.
Since I'm in charge

Of this house
while your mother's away,

I think you--you should
stop this nonsense right now.

Just stop it. Stop it!

Uh, miss wilson,

Here are the tools
you asked for.

Uh, excuse me, shirley,
who was that?

What? What? What?

The tool man.

Oh, him?
That's--that's barney.

Yeah,
he's the, uh, new handyman
in the neighborhood.

I just borrowed
some tools right there.

I was gonna
make a spice rack.

[Knocking on door]

Excuse me. He's a nice guy.
Yeah, what?

Oh, I almost forgot.
Uh, your sledgehammer.

Yes, thank you.

Hey, nice place
you got here.

Yeah, glad you like it.

Real nice.
Thank you, barney.

Bye.
Bye, barney.

Have fun.

You, too, barney.

See ya, barney.
Thanks for the tools, barney.

Uh, little spice rack,
miss wilson.

So you were planning

To look for the money, too,
huh, shirley?

Huh. A grown woman.

And you, dee, a grown kid.

You all ought to be ashamed
of your grown selves.

We all ought to stop
playing games. I mean...

Hey, I couldn't agree
with you more.

Well, let's just
split it 5 ways

And get down
to some real lookin'.

Hey, I'm with you.

All right,
let's grab a tool now.
And spread out.

And--and holler,

The first one that
hits somethin' that's green

And that doesn't have roots.

And find it!

Yeah!

Well, I've searched the attic
and the upstairs bedrooms.

So far a big zero.

Oh, man!

Look at this mess!

What have we done?

Not as much
as we should've done.

The flood kind of
slowed us up a little bit.

The flood?

Yeah, yeah.
Uh, dwayne hit a water pipe.

All right. All right,
that's it. It's over!

I'm putting an end
to this right now.

It's over!

All over, is it?

Ha!

It's never gonna be over!

Not for me!

No. I'm gonna
find that money!

They think they can
hide it away,

But they are wrong!

They can't hide it
from freddie stubbs!

I've come too far.
I've searched too long!

It's gonna be mine! Mine!

Do you hear me?
Mine! Mine! Mine!

Hey, what's this?

Hey, it's $20!

It's $20!

[All shouting]

♪ We're in the money!
We're in the money! ♪

♪ We're in the money!
We're in the money! ♪

♪ We're in the money!
We're in the money! ♪

♪ We're in the money!
We're in the money! ♪

[All shouting]

♪ We're in the money!
We're in the money! ♪

Yeah.

[Crickets chirping]

Uh-huh.

This is the break
we've been waiting for.

Those 5 pigeons
found the money for us.

Yeah.

You wanna move in
on 'em?

Great!

[Laughs]

Believe me,
it'll be like old times, duke.

Right.

We're in the money.

[Laughing]

♪ Beautiful money

♪ Beautiful--

Yeah, some people
can have

The hustle and bustle
of the city.

But give me a mountain
of green every time.

♪ Green!

Turn it off, turn it off.

Well, let's divide it.

Of course, uh,
I know you all agree

That since I found the money,
I deserve a little bonus.

You know, you were all
ready to give up,

But not frederick stubbs.

Uh, stubbs.
Oh, that's a good name.

Yeah. That's what
your arm's gonna be

If you put it back in here.

That's right.

You know, we said
we would share equally.

That's what we're gonna do.

That's right. Share equally.

[Yawning]
oh, you know, I am
one tired treasure hunter.

[Continues yawning]

Oh, I guess you all wanna
go home to bed, huh?

No. I'm not sleepy
at all myself.

Funny thing, raj.
You know, neither am i.

Yeah, this is
the kind of night
when I love to stay up.

When the moonlight
is on the trees,

The dew is on the grass
and the money's on the table.

Well, we have a custom
in the wilson family.

We never go to bed
until the guests leave.

Looks like it's gonna be
a long, long night.

Put the 7-layer cake
in the mercedes, james.

Tell diana ross
I'll be over at 8:00.

Well, make that
an 8-layer cake

And tell diana
I'll be over at 7:00.

Come on, wake up.

Diana?
Come on, move, fool.

[Grunting]

Hey, where's dee?

I don't know.

I don't know.
She must... Hey!

Shirley.
You had it.

No, shirley...
I bet you did.

The money is gone
and dee is gone!

Dee, how could she?

Oh, dwayne,
dee didn't take that money.

Wrong, raj.

I took it. I counted it.
And I divided it.

The newspaper was right.
There's $2,500 here.

That's $500 apiece.

All right!

I'm gonna
get me a moped.

Vroom! Vroom!

I think I'll take
a cruise to hawaii.

Hey, I'd better get me
one of those moo-moos, huh?

[Laughing]

Shirley, you're takin'
a cow to hawaii?

[Yawns]

You know, I'm gonna make
a dinner reservation

At fat burgers.

Double ham, cheese, egg
with everything.

Securities are always good.
I'll go into securities.

Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
Hold it. Hold it.

Now we don't know
that this money is ours.

Huh, it's in my hands.

It is ours.

No, dee, the money was taken
from westlake trust bank

And it may still
belong to them.

Raj, the bank
doesn't have a claim.

It doesn't exist.

Westlake trust bank
folded in the crash of 1929.

Well, all right!

Are you sure?
How do you know?

It's all in my
history of banks.

Volume 9.

That's our dee.

We're rich.

Well, I am ready
to start spending.

[Knocking on door]

Oh, that's probably
jackie onassis

Asking me for more money.

Wait a minute, shirley.

Uh, before you
open the door,

Maybe we should
hide this money.

That's right.
The internal revenue
never sleeps.

Here.

[Knocking on door]

[Shirley]
yeah, baby, I'm comin'.

Clear?
[Raj]
yeah. Ok.

Good?

Oh, I was upstairs,
I had to run down.

Oh, barney!

I guess you want
your tools.

No.

I came for the money.

Money? What money?

I mean, you loaned me
your tools, barney.

Oh, I don't want
any tool money.

I want the money money.

Don't give me no trouble.
Just hand over the dough.

He seems
a little upset, raj,

Give him a dollar.

Hey--hey, I don't want
no dollar.

I want that bank money!

He knows!

Now, hand it over
or there's gonna be trouble.

Handle this.

Trouble?
Trouble?

Trouble?
Trouble?

[Laughing]

You don't frighten us.

[Dwayne]
hey, tell him, raj.

Yeah, tell me, raj.

Or better yet,

Tell it to duke morgan.

Duke morgan?

Duke morgan?

That's right.

Come on in, duke.

Duke morgan is here.
You gotta be kiddin'.

Duke morgan himself?

Duke morgan,
the bank robber?

You heard me.

I said, come on in, duke.

What'd you say?

I said, come in.

I'm in already,
you dang fool!

You listen to me
or... You listen good!

I want you to do

Just exactly what
I tell you and...

[Mumbling]

What did he say?

Now, look, gentlemen,
I can't believe any of this--

Kick him in the knee.
Kick him in the knee.
Ok, boss. Ok.

Now--now just
hand it over

Or else...

Nothin' doin'.

We found it. It's ours.

We stole it. It's ours.

Now, fork it over or else...

Hey, you don't frighten us.

Hey, there's 5 of us.

It's just you
and that old man.

Shh!

Now, don't you let him
hear you say that.

No.

Shame on you.

That's duke morgan.

Yeah! I'm gonna give you
just one more chance now.

[Stuttering]
one more.
You give me that...

Yes, put that money
right here.
You give me that money.

No way, mr. Duke.

Well, then I'm gonna
bring in my mob.

He brought his mob.

Yes, sir, I did.

And I'll bring them in here.

Come on in, boys.

Everybody, freeze.

No, i--i--i thought--
i--i thought

I was supposed to say that.

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Stuttering]
that's all right, al.

Everybody makes mistakes.

Now, every...
E-everybody f-freeze.

Where's lefty?
Where's my hatchet man?

[Knocking]

Here I am.

Oh, that first step

Was m*rder.

Oh.

Oh.

All right, everybody,

Freeze.

We already did that.

Huh?

We already did it.

Oh, well,
then I can sit down.

Who are these people?

That's the duke morgan g*ng.

The g*ng that held up
westlake trust.

What do they steal
these days? Denture grip?

All right!

Everybody back in the bus.

Come on, gentlemen.

We've gotta get back
to the home.

That goes for you, too.

All right, beautiful. Ok.

Now you stay put.

But, watch out first

And give us at least now,

A 5-minute head start.

That ought to get us
to the sidewalk.

You see them?

That's cute.

What in the world
was that, shirley?

I told you, that was
duke morgan and his g*ng.

Sure, I know they don't
move so good anymore,

But you should've
seen them in the old days.

Um, I don't understand
this whole thing, barney.

I mean, did you expect us

To just hand over the money
to a bunch of old men?

Oh, I don't know.

I guess it was crazy.

But I was just hopin'
they'd get a break.

They've all been in prison
most of their lives.

And now they're out,
they're in an old folks home.

Why?

And that--that home
they are stayin' at,

There's no entertainment.

They only got one game
and most of it is missin'.

Who-- who're you gonna jump
with one checker?

That is bad.

Yeah.

That's why I got
this nutty idea.

It was dumb.

But I was a kid on this job.

As the lookout.

We all knew duke hid the money
here in the house.

But none of us knew
exactly where.

Yeah, but duke knew.

He was the only one.

But he forgot.

We kept tellin' him,
write it down.

Write it down!

[Sighs]

Yeah, he did seem
like a nice old gentlemen

To be a bank robber.

They all did.

Yeah, they paid
their debt to society.

I go up and see duke
and the boys once in a while.

Do what I can
to make it easier for 'em

In these last years.

That's why
I wanted the money.

But I guess you kids
will put it to good use.

I'm goin' over there
to get my tools now.

I won't be
botherin' you anymore.

Yeah, you don't have to
worry about us
puttin' it to good use.

I'm gonna get a moped.
Dwayne.

And shirley's goin'
on a cruise to hawaii.

Rerun, he's gonna
clean out fat burgers.

And raj, he's gonna get
a whole bunch
of new clothes, right?

Nah, I don't need
any new clothes.

Well, I'm sure
you'll enjoy it,
whatever you do with it.

Mr. Dunn,

We would really like
to help those old guys.

We really would.

Hey, then why don't we?

I mean, all that money's done
is just bring out
the worst in all of us.

Yes.

You're right, shirley.
You can count me in.

Me, too.

I'm for it.

Uh, oh, well...

Ok, who wants
to take a girl

To the drive-in
on a moped, anyway?

We all agree!
The home gets the money!

Hey, I can't believe it!

Oh, thank you.

You folks are terrific.

They'll never
forget you for this.

With their memories,
I'm not so sure.

Well, so long.
And thanks again.

All right,
you take it easy.

That's just dandy.

No money and we still have to
get the house fixed up.

Oh, by the way,

One good turn
deserves another.

You don't have to
worry about this house.

I'll fix it up for you.

For free.

Oh, thank you, barney.

Hey, well that's good.

At least we know
the house will be fixed up.

Yeah, barney's
got quite a job.

Whoo!

Hey, raj, I found
another wrapper.

A bar of gold.

[Raj]
gold?
Gold!

Raj, there's gold
in this house!

Rerun, don't be silly.

This is a candy bar.
See, peanuts, dextrose, salt.

I don't care
about that, raj.

There's gold
in this house! Gold!

Rerun! Rerun! Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!

Wait a minute! Hold it!
Hold it! Hold it!

It's over!

Over, is it? Ha!

It's never gonna be over!
Not for me! No!

Rerun! Rerun!

Calm down, rerun.

Rerun!

How you doin'?

Hey, hey, hey, shirley.

What's happenin', shirley?

Hey, you guys are in here
kind of late today.

Well, we stopped by
the old folks home

To see duke
and the g*ng.

Oh, that's nice.

So how are they
doin' up there?

Oh, great.

They bought
a lot of nice things
with that money, too.

You know, a record player
and plenty of games.

Yeah.

Oh, they're havin' a ball
with the color t.v.

Yeah, I bet
they're just havin' fun

Sittin' there
watchin' it, huh?

No, they don't watch it.

Wait a minute.

They got
a brand-new color t.v.

And they're not watchin' it?

Uh-uh. They take turns
stealing it.