01x21 - From Here to Maternity

[bunniefuu]

♪ [Music playing]

Hi, shirley,
what's happening?

What's happening?

A moose in a red hat
just walked into
the soda shop.

That's what's happening.

Why is she
so jumpy today?

Her doctor put her
on a strict diet.

Oh, man,
that is bad.

I was on a diet once

And I got the same way,
grouchy, irritable,

It was m*rder.

I tried my best
but I finally
had to give it up.

How many pounds
did you lose?

None. I was only
on it 15 minutes.

What do you want,
bullwinkle?

Hey, shirley,

I know you're on a diet,
but don't pick on me.

Hey, I'm sorry.

You ought to put yourself
on a diet, too, rerun.

Are you kidding?

Compared to some people,
I'm just skin and bones.

Uh, rerun,

Where are the bones?

They're in there
somewhere.

My doctor told me
I had to lose 20 pounds.

Yeah?

You know, it wouldn't hurt you
to lose 20 pounds, rerun.

Rerun just told you
he can't stick to a diet, raj.

Unless it's worth
my while.

What does
that mean?

That means I have
$10 that says

At the end of a month I lose
more weight than you do.

Uh-oh.

Ok, you're on!
Deal.

Hey, shirley,
telephone.

Rerun, how're you
gonna lose weight?

Running away
from shirley,

When she tries to collect
the 10 bucks.

Norma!
How are you?

I'm fine.

All right! You're coming
to california?

That's great.

Of course, you can stay
at my place.

Uh-uh.

All right, all right.
I'm gonna hear the rest of it
when you get out here.

Uh-huh, ok.

I'll see you. 'Bye.

Shirley must have
gotten some good news.

Hey, shirley,
what happened?

Oh, that was
my little sister, norma.

She called all the way
from alabama?

No. She called from
the bus station in phoenix.

She's on her way
out here

And she'll be
out here tomorrow.

Great!
How old is she?

Uh, 19.

Perfect, I love
older women.

And they generally
find me attractive, too.

She's not gonna find you,
'cause she's not looking.

[Moaning]

Norma is already engaged
and she's coming out here
to be married.

All right!

Oh, shirley,
that's great.

I always cry
at weddings.

Why, when they
give away the bride?

No, when they give away
the food.

Are you sure
you can spare these sheets?

Of course, shirley.

There, that should do it.

I sure do appreciate this,
mrs. Thomas.

Oh, don't be silly, shirley,
it's our pleasure.

[Thudding]

[Dee]
it would be easier
if you fold it, stupid--

What do you think
I'm trying to do?

Why don't you shut up
and let me do it?

Aw, just shut up
and fold it!

Here's your cot,
shirley.

Oh, uh, great.

Why don't you
fold it, roger?

That's what I've been
trying to do. It's impossible.

Here, let me do it.

Here, clumsy.

Thanks.

[Knocking on door]

That sounds like dwayne.

Hi, dwayne.
Hi, mrs. Thomas.

Hi, everybody!
Hi, fellas.

Hey, shirley, I got
a couple of blankets here.

Oh, thanks, dwayne.
These will really
come in handy.

And I brought
a spare pillow.

Besides this one?

Hey, shirley,
how long has it been since
you've seen your sister?

3 Years.

Mmm-mmm,

Wish I was that lucky.

That's not funny, raj.

How's your diet going,
shirley?

It's a little rough,
but I'm sticking to it.

Good, and how about you,
rerun?

Great. I'm really
cutting down.

All I had tonight
was dinner and dessert.

Well, you look like
you're all set, shirley.

Sure does,
thanks to you.

Oh, raj,

Can you do me
just one more favor?

Sure.

Um, norma's bus
gets in tomorrow at 5:00,

But I'll still be working--

Hey, no problem,
I'll meet her for you.

Thanks, raj.

You can pick her up and
bring her here until shirley
gets off from work.

Yeah, sounds good
to me.

Hey, I got an idea.
Why don't we all
have dinner together?

We'll see tomorrow, rerun.

I'm talking about now.

Y'all are so nice.

Oh, thank you
so much.

You know, norma,
you don't look
anything like shirley.

How did you
ever find her, roger?

Oh, mrs. Thomas,
you have no idea

What a clever son
you have.

That's right, mama.

[Laughs]

Well, all it took was
a little detective work.

You see, I checked
the signboard

And I noticed there
was only one bus arriving

At 5:00 from phoenix.

Uh-huh.

Then,

I noticed that norma
was the only one

Getting off
the bus yelling, "shirley,

"Where are you?

It's norma."

Good work, sherlock.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, come on,
I'm all right.

And it really wasn't necessary
to take a cab

From the bus station.
I can still walk.

Yeah, but after you spent
I wasn't sure.

You did
the right thing, roger.

Are you sure we can't
get you anything else, norma?

Oh, no, thank you.

You all right?

I'm fine, and stop
worrying about me.

I'm just anxious
to see shirley.

Yeah.
We understand.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, baby.

Dee, say hello
to norma.

This is shirley's sister.

Oh, hi, norma.

So, you're
raj's sister, huh?

Yeah, I didn't have a vote.
They just told me
that's the way it was.

Dee, if you can't say
something nice

About your brother,
don't say anything.

All right, mama, but it's
gonna be awful quiet
around here.

Good.

Uh,

When did you say
shirley gets off work?

Oh, 6:00. She should
be here any minute.

[Knocking on door]

No, that's dwayne.

You're gonna
like it here.

[Both]
hey, hey, hey!

What's happening,
everybody?

Dwayne, rerun,
this is norma.

[Both]
hi, norma!

Hi!
How are you doing?

Just fine,
thank you.

Well, what do you think
about l.a. So far?

Oh, I don't know.

All I could see from
the bus window

Was one hamburger stand
after another.

Isn't that beautiful?

[Knocking on door]

Now, that's got
to be shirley.

Is she here?
Yeah!

Where?

Norma!

Shirley!

Mmm-mmm.

Oh, I can't believe
you're here.

Let's take a look at you.
Stand up, you little
skinny thing.

[Laughing]

I'm 6 months pregnant.

Wow, is she ever!

What happened?

Don't look at me,
I just got here.

Where's your husband?

Oh, I'm not married yet.

Oh-oh, does this mean
I have to go to bed early

So you adults can talk?

We'll see,
dee, we'll see.

Oh, I don't mind talking
about the baby.

Go to bed, dee.

I just want to know
why she isn't married?

Oh, dee, you don't
have to be married
to have a baby.

I know that.

But then the baby
doesn't have a father.

A baby always
has a father, dee.

But sometimes the mother
doesn't have a husband.

I don't understand.

Good.

I don't understand
either, norma.

Oh, shirley,

Nothing's changed. Honest.

Don and I are getting married
as soon as he gets here.

Oh, did his half of the bus
get stuck in traffic?

No, shirley.

He just couldn't leave
his job right now,

So he's taking
a later bus.

I can't wait
to see him.

Neither can i.

Well, why haven't you 2
gotten married yet, anyhow?

Well, see, he wasn't ready--
well, till now...

And besides, I didn't see
no reason to push him.

I do.

What does your fiance do?

He's a salesman,
and a very good one.

Mmm.

I can believe that.

Well, this is it.
What do you think?

It's great, shirley.

Where do you want me
to put these, shirley?

Oh, put them
up there, raj.

[Sighs]

Yeah, you blew that tip.

Here, let me
help you, norma.

Uh, put your feet up,
so you can be comfortable.

Now, quit fussing over me.
I'm not helpless, leroy.

That's rerun.

Rerun.

Now, how'd you ever
get a name like rerun?

That's his nickname.

See, he has to go
to school every summer

To rerun the stuff
he did all winter.

That's funny, wayne.

Dwayne!

Dwayne, yeah, sorry.

Look, norma, you must want
to get some sleep by now, huh?

Uh-uh, not until I see
the rest of shirley's place.

The rest of the place?

Yeah.

Well, you stay there,
I'll bring it to you.

Huh?

You see this,
right here?

Well, this is
my living room.

Now, now,

This--this tray,
with--with the fritos on it,

This is my dining room.

Kitchen.

A tiny kitchen.

Shirley, I feel like
I'm putting you out.

Ah, don't be silly.

There's always room
for my little sister.

Hey, well, I guess
we better get going,

You 2 must have
a lot to talk about.

Thanks a lot fellas,
you've been a big help.

Yeah, thank you.

Good night, shirley,
and norma, I want you
to get some rest.

Take care, norma.
Good night, shirley.

Yeah, good night, norma.
Good night, slim.

So long, skinny!

They're all nice,
shirley.

Yeah, now let's, uh--
let's be hip.

Well, there's not
that much to tell.

Don I and I are in love
and as soon as he
gets out here,

We're going to get married,
settle down, might even--

[Phone ringing]

Is he still fine?

Oh, he's still fine.

Have mercy, ooh!

Yeah.

Oh, yeah,
this is shirley.

Hi, don!

Don!

How ya been?

We were just talking
about you, don.

Fine,

Fine, fine, don,

Well, hold on, I'll let you
speak to her, don.

This is don.

[Whispering]
excuse me.

Hey, baby!

Oh, everything's
just great. Uh-huh.

California is beautiful...

The people are beautiful...

You're just going
to love it here, uh-huh.

Yeah, where are you
calling from?

Alabama?

Well, what d'you do?
You miss your bus?

You're what?

But you can't do this.

Well, what about us?

Well, what about
the baby?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello, don?

Goodbye, don?

Oh, shirley.

[Crying]
oh, shirley!

There now, norma.
Are you feeling
a little better?

[Sniffs]

A little.

Yeah.

I just can't believe it.

He's not coming.

He just sent me here
to get rid of me.

He never meant
to marry me.

Oh, shirley,

I just could've never
handled that phone call
without you.

All right, now,
let's just take it easy

And just think
this thing out.

'Cause you know you can
stay here for as long
as you want to.

Oh, thanks, shirley.

I'm gonna need
the phone book.

I'll get it.
I'll get it.

What do you need
the phone book for?

I want to start making
a list of some of those
local adoption agencies.

Oh, no, no,
no, no!

Oh, shirley, now,
what else can I do?

I don't have any money.

And i--i--i don't
have a job.

And now I don't have
a husband.

Oh, enough about you.
What about the baby?

I'm thinking
about the baby, shirley.

I want my baby
to have the best.

It would be selfish
to keep it.

What would you do?

What would I do?

You mean now,
or 6 months ago?

Yeah,

And number 3 is 24x.

Uh-huh,

And number 4 is minus 5.

Right,

And number 5
is 6 apples.

[Sighs]

Uh, my mama can't help me
either, robin.

Yes, she had
the old math, too.

No, I don't know
what the old math was,

But if the new math is better,
then it must have really
been the pits.

Is mama home?

[Door slamming]

Just a minute, robin.

What is the matter
with you, coming in
this house yelling,

"Is mama home?"

Can't you see
I'm on the telephone?

Listen, when you walk
into a house

And you see a person
on the telephone,

You don't come in
shouting, "is mama home?"

You wait until the person
is finished talking

On the telephone,
and then you say
very nicely,

"Is mama home?"

Robin, my brother
just came in.

I have to teach him
the new manners.

'Bye.

Now, what was
your question?

Is mama home?

No.

Now, how come
you're home so early?

Didn't you go
to the soda shop?

Yeah, we went
to the soda shop.

Well, how's norma?

Oh, terrible.

Her boyfriend called and said
he's not coming,

And now she wants to put
the baby up for adoption.

What's the matter with that?
A lot of people
want to adopt babies.

Yeah, and some are
even looking for
11-year-olds, so...

Stay out
of our business.

What business?

None of your business.

Mama, roger's going
into business.

What kind of business, raj?

Oh, don't pay any attention
to her, mama.

Hoo-wee, you look tired.

You must've worked hard
all day, didn't you?

Come on over here
and sit down.
Get up, dwayne.

Don't make the child move.

[Roger]
come on now, sit down.

There, you go...
No, no, not that pillow.

There, you comfortable?

I'm a little chilly
from the snow job.

[Laughing hysterically]

Well, mama, me and, uh,
dwayne, and rerun

Have come to
a decision.

Good.

What decision?

[Sighing]

We decided you should
have another baby.

Say what?

Mrs. Thomas,
you make a terrific mother.

Thank you, dwayne.

He--he means you-- you'd be
a great new mother

For another little kid.

And it would be great
for a kid to come
into this house

With a built-in brother
and sister.

Do you have any, uh,
particular kid in mind?

Yeah, well, mama, uh,
norma's boyfriend

Isn't going
to marry her,

And she wants to put the baby
up for adoption.

Oh, my...

So--so we thought
that maybe you could adopt it.

Uh-- now, wait a minute.

And I'll help
take care of it.

Wait a minute.

We'll all help.
I--i--i can fold the diapers
and boil the water.

Marvelous.

And I'll baby-sit.

And feed it?

Uh-huh.

And burp it?
Uh-huh.

And change it?

Uh-uh!

Hi, everybody.

Where have you been, child?
You had me worried
half to death.

We've all been
worried.

Well, you can
relax now.

I'm fine and everything's
been taken care of.

What are you
talking about?

Well, it was a lot easier
than I thought.

All I had to do was go down
to the county adoption
department

And fill out
this form.

Is that all it takes
to give away a baby?

That's all. They even
offer you financial assistance

And, uh, pay the
hospital costs if you
don't have any means.

And they were
so nice about it.

I guess because they got
so many couples waiting
to adopt.

Well, after the baby's
adopted, can you go visit it?

Oh, no.

Never?

Well, no, see, that's one
of the conditions.

Wow, that's heavy.

Now, what if you change
your mind and you
want the baby back?

There's no way. Once I sign
the final papers, that's it.

You could have somebody
take a picture of the baby
when it's born.

They'd at least let you
do that, right?

I--i guess so.
I didn't think to ask.

Look, I know I'm doing
the right thing.

Do you?

Well, look at me.
I'm--i'm so happy...

I could cry.

Don't cry.

[Crying]

We'll work it out.

Norma.

Norma.

What?

Will you marry me?

Oh, roger, that's really nice.

That's no answer.

Oh, no, roger, thank you,

But, well,
I'm too old for you.

That may be true
in roger's case,

But I can handle it.

Oh, no,
and thank you, runrun.

Well, dwayne?

Uh-uh.

All right, now all of you
listen to me.

None of you're going
to marry norma,

So just go over there
someplace and sit down and
get out of my face. Move!

And you, young lady,

You're not going to give
that baby up for adoption.

But, shirley, how am I
supposed to support

Myself and a baby?

Get a job.

As what?

As a fashion model
in a maternity shop?

Oh, I don't mean
right away.

I mean, like later,
when the baby is old enough

That we can put it in
a day-care center.

Until then, we'll live
on my salary.

Oh, shirley, you can't
take care of 3 of us
on your salary.

We can manage.

We might manage for a while,
but what about the future?

A baby really needs
to have a father around.

Remember, we had 2
baby brothers
when our father passed away.

Well, mama didn't put
them up for adoption.

Yeah, but mama was
able to handle it.

And so can you-- with me.

And us.
[Both]
right.

Our mama had a lot of love
to pass out, norma.

See, norma, that's what
the baby needs,

Even more than a father.
It needs love, norma.

And your baby's
gonna get it.

That's right
and plenty of it.

Oh...

You know what?

What?

[Sighs]

Congratulations,
you're going to be a father.

[All cheering]

[Knocking on door]

Come on in!

[Laughing]

Don!

Don!

[Roger]
don!

Yeah, it's me.

Don, the dummy.

You sure are.

Was, uh...

L-look, norma,

I just got scared, norma.

Hey, but I love you,

And I need you,

And I want to marry you.

What you say, baby?
Come on, baby!

Well, yeah, baby, yeah!

[Crying]

So, I take it
you're the father.

Yeah, the proud father
and, uh, who are you?

Uncle roger,

And this is uncle rerun
and uncle dwayne.

Raymond?

Close enough, man,
close enough!

Hey, don, don... It sure
is a pleasure seeing you.

Yeah.

And you're not getting
out of my sight
until after the wedding.

You got it.

You can't run.

Hi, dee!

Hi, everybody!

[Roger]
what you got there?

Well, we thought that don
and norma could use these.

Well, what are they?

Some of our
baby clothes.

Well, won't you
be cold, dwayne?

I was gonna buy the baby
some new clothes,

But I lost my money
to shirley.

Oh, you paid her?
All right, rerun.

Ok, let's see
what's in the box.

Ok.

Well, what do you think?

Oh!

Oh, dwayne,
it's adorable.

I had a--a sailor's suit
when I was a baby, too.

Why didn't you
bring it, rerun?

Because my brother took it
when he joined the navy.