01x08 - Dawn of the Groomer

[bunniefuu]

Bark and scratching, piss and scratching.

Presidential pets. Gather around. Chasing

to the canines and flies and butterflies

and jets. We all here took a snip and

toilet sip and soaring through the sky.

I'm all set.

Let's do

it. All right, here we

go.

You have slapped me With shoes on

posterior His bots worse than his fights

I was pumping! Shag is strong from head

to toe A coward through and through Row,

row, row Muscle snack is gonna blow He's

sure to screw him too They fight for

right both day and night In every episode

All together now! Now it's time to hit

the road

It is time to

rise. Breathe in the air.

Open your eyes.

You mummies wake up and as I raise

this knife. Tell me the secret

of eternal life.

It's working.

What?Tell me it isn't so. The

great winds of the desert. No, the

mummies are waking. You must finish the

ritual so we can live forever. No.

Let me drive, Colleen, please!Quiet down,

auntie. It's my turn and you know it.

Look out!

That was close. It was not that close. It

was close. Oh, stop it, would you?What

are you looking for?A map?No, my donor

card. Coming

through! Uh-oh. Eat fire! Love us!

Jolly good shot. Sometimes things just

work out.

Where is Shag and Exile, anyway?I'm there

with Blitz. Who?The Doberman.

Ohh Have I met him yet?I

think. Here they come.

What's he

saying?I think he said, Hello. Can you

direct me to Medak?No. Follow that van.

They're getting away. Faster! Faster!

Slower! Slower! Hit the brake!

Hey!

What are you some kind of crazy,

psychotic, taxicab driving madman?

He says

yes, you're absolutely correct. Oh,

fun city.

What kind of a ride was that?

He says an $85

ride.

OK, everyone, look alive. The groomer

said it's strong around here.

Blimey chasing cats. That is

so immature. But we are dogs.

Yeah, some habits die hard.

Bloomin' mutts. Hey!

Move it.

Bothered. She's history. So is

ShagWhere'd he get to?Shag

Shag

Oh, General, I'm home. I

told you, I hate cats.

Dogs can be transmutated and trained, but

not cats.

Get rid of them,

General. They'll make powerful soldiers.

Just look at the claws in this one.

They're smart, strong,

agile and unpredictable.

You can't control a feline. Oh, yes, you

can. Prove it.

Watch.

I've already made a few adjustments in

the canal mutator to accommodate trans

cat mutation.

Magnificent, aren't they?I

find them disturbing.

Shag signals strong. He's in that

refinery. You're wasting my

time, groomer.

Oh. Nice. See what you've done?

You've led the Rover straight to me. I

should pull your stripes for this. No

problem. My recruits will take care of

them. Soldiers, Are

you ready?

Good, good kitties.

Hunter. Exactly. Where are we?I think

we're in New Jersey.

Oh, yeah, we're definitely in New Jersey.

Yeah, I think it's Piscataway. Oh,

very funny.

Little girly cat, go with Kitty litter.

There's only one way these felines could

have been turned into raging monsters.

Horrible. Two points for the winner.

Bullseye ball. Easy as cupcake.

Eat some bean.

Also, my ice maker's on the fridge.

Yes! Catch weight water!

Pathetic.

Shut them up. Please, General, let me

explain. I've had enough of your lectures

on philo mutants groomer. Those

mutts are on my case. Thanks to

your experimental mistakes. Get rid of

them. No.

What?I just gave you a direct order,

Missy, and I'm not obeying

it. I'm not hearing this.

It sounds like mutiny.

Call it what you want, but I'm leaving.

You're going nowhere. It's a

new day, dear. Get used to it.

We're coming, Chester!

No, wait! What are you doing?The Kano

mutator is mine! Was,

General. Was. This

isn't happening. What's through?

No, Groomer. No, you

can't leave.

You're not your nursemaid anymore,

General. You're on your own. Have a

nice life.

Shag's close. Very close.

Ohh

Hey, I'm glad to see you alive too, pal.

You still owe me five bucks.

Less. It's

not over yet, groomer. No one

disobeys me.

Good morning, Rovers. As you know,

there's been no sign of Parvo for over 12

months. Our operatives from around the

world continue to monitor the situation.

Recently, we have received some strange

reports out of Cairo. No Kano

mutants to speak of, but giant k*ller

cats have been spotted near the Sphinx.

Oh, giant k*ller cats. Cool.

They're felo mutants. Huh

Sniff out the trail, Rovers. Just be

careful out there. These aren't your

normal house cats.

Bullshoi, what is that?Wait, I see

a sign. It says, Trespassers will

be shot. Oh, they

weren't lying.

We're going down. You better bail.

call me a chiropractor. You're a

chiropractor. Thank you. You

spoke to me. Sorry, I'm

drawing a blank. You

are...

Scared of limid fur right off me eye, why

don't you?

This is not my cup of tea.

The Empress awaits you.

Empress.

You've done well, my pets. The

groomer. As you can see,

the reports of my death have been greatly

exaggerated. My kittens and I flew

S for the winter and came across this

little fixer-upper.

The groomer. She is lost case of

baskets needing many marbles.

OK, sort of. Watch the prisoners.

I must prepare for the sacrifice. OK,

come again. I'm about to receive the

secret of eternal life. To succeed, there

must be a canine offering. You Road

Rover should fit the bill. But

I'm not really a Road Rover. Ask her. She

doesn't even know me. Oh, I know him.

He's a Road Rover. All right. What?What

are you saying?But don't be so modest.

You know you're the number one Road

Rover. You say so all the time. No.

It is

time to rise. Breathe in the

air. Open your eyes. You

mummies, wake up. And as I raise this

knife, tell me the secret

of eternal life.

It's working!

Yes! Immortality will be

mine! I

wouldn't be making any long-range plans.

What?! Pretty cool mummy

suits, huh

No, the ritual isn't

over yet. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, bust. Oh, cigarette.

Oh, forget it.

Well, I had it all. The Kano

mutator. An army of invincible

cats. Oh, a city of my own.

And immortality. It was almost mine.

Now... Now I have nothing.

I didn't need her. I don't

need anyone. I

do miss her sneer, but she

defied me. No one ever defies

me, but I I

really miss her.

Senator, come get me,

please. Groomer.

You've done well, Rovers. For now, the

world won't be going to Parvo's dogs or

the groomer's cats.

Pretty she, dog. Now that we're on

speaking terms, why don't you and I take

a stroll?Just the two of us.

Excuse me, but if you'd like an

appointment, you'll have to call my

service. An appointment.

I bet his schedule's all booked.

General, can you ever forgive me?

Look, I saved this for you.

You disobeyed me. But you were so

against using my cats. Why?

WhyWhy

This is why

you're a. Cat. I am

not an animal. I'm a man.

But how do I

disgust you that much?Why?

No, I actually find it

appealing. You do?Oh,

most definitely general.

We're back together.